#5 days of pain working on this. the things I do for you odile

[daily-odile]

FINALLY FINALLY HAPPY (VERY LATE) BIRTHDAY ODILE!!!!!

[livesworthlivingau]

Lives Worth Living Chapter 14

ISAT Spoilers below the break!

"It seems I must have finally taught you how to properly steep tea over those decades." (Odile comments with a smirk, watching you carefully pour from the kettle into each of your teacups.)

"It only took me 5 of those years to make a decent cup~."

"... The fact I can't tell if that's a joke or not is more concerning than anything else..." (You let out a heavy chuckle at her somewhat worried look. You stick your tongue out a give an exaggerated wink.)

"And it still doesn't count as a wink if you only have one eye Siffrin..."

"You've been telling me that for 30 years Odile, it never sticks~." (She just rolls her eyes as she adds a bit of honey and milk to her tea.)

"Speaking of… How are you doing Siffrin, truly?"

"… I think you already know the answer to that question, Madame" (You tease with the lightest chuckle, though it's bittersweet.)

"I suppose I do, though it would still be nice to hear you say it properly." (You pause for a second, before letting out a sigh.)

"… I don't really know anymore… I guess I'm better than I was the first time around at this point, the first few weeks were really rough for me… It's nice to make some better memories to replace it… But those bad times were still important too…" (You start to explain, your hand wrapping around your covered forearm, as if for emphasis.)

"Those moments helped get you to where you are now… It may have been a painful journey but it was just as important as the destination." (Odile finishes the thought for you, her arms crossed as she gets lost in her own thoughts.)

"… Yeah… I know you don't want me to apologize again for what I said on that last day… So I'll just say thanks Odile, for trusting me with your oh so sacred backstory~." (You laugh. Your eye starts to blur from the tears welling up in it before you wipe them away. Odile just smirks a bit at your comment before rolling her eyes.)

"Yes yes, that and my fake research. I'm simply too generous for my own good." (She remarks sarcastically.)

"Now let's discuss something else, I'm tired of all these emotions."

"Heh, I couldn't agree more."

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"Hey, Odile?" (You ask over your shoulder, fiddling with some thingamajig you found on the shelf. The both of you going on one of your famous 'secret missions' at a little random shop in the town you were passing through.)

"Yes, Siffrin?" (She responded over her shoulder as well, glancing through the various books they had for sale.)

"... There's... I can't stop thinking about something... from, uhh... before." (You begin, trying to dance around the topic without explicitly stating it. She pauses, perking up and waiting, as if telling you to continue.)

"... We all kinda went separate ways eventually, we were still a family of course but... we all had someone else at least... everyone but you Odile..."

"... What is it you're trying to say?"

"I-I'm saying... I don't know if you were happy... It felt like all that you cared about was work, when none of us were left around... You never got a partner, you never talked about friends you made, you..."

"Why are you bringing this up now, Siffrin?"

"... Probably because I never got the chance to before, and I didn't want to let that happen again..."

"I'm not sure how much use there is in talking about something that happens decades from now. What are you proposing anyways?"

"I... I don't know, just... I want you to be happy, I don't want you to be alone..."

"So, what do you intend then? Should I move in with you and Isabeau and stay on the couch forever?" (She asks with a smirk. Your lip curls a bit in response, but quickly falls again.)

"I mean it, Odile..." (She pauses at that, sighing out as she realizes how serious you were.)

"... Very well, Siffrin, I promise I'll keep this in mind... We've got a long road ahead of us until that but maybe things will be different this time around. That's what you're hoping for, yes?"

"In some ways I guess... I mean, these loops have to be for something, right?..."

"Maybe we should be focusing on that right now instead."

"Yeah... I guess you're right." (She suddenly walks over and lifts your hat off, ruffling your hair heavily.)

"You might have some years on me now, but you still overthink just the same." (The both of you laugh the seriousness of the conversation off, finishing up your little trip.)

[judgement-free-sideblog]

Dancing lessons

Hi!! I'm sorry, this one took forever, I had a Dengue Virus outbreak to deal with for the last three weeks and I even had the damn thing myself, not funny, wouldn't recommend it, it felt like shit and I had to skip work two days, thankfully no mortal victims, at least not on my watch, but the town is still recovering, anyway work is crazy and that's why I haven't update anything, I'm really sorry

Summary: Barry is finally cast in a feature, the problem? He said he could dance and now he can either disappoint Sally or found a way to learn some steps.

Part 1 ● Part 2 ● Part 3 ● Part 4 ● Part 5 ● Part 6 ● Part 7 ● Part 8 ● Epilogue

Warnings: Swearing, blood, violence, guns, cheating maybe.

Part 4

The lights on your studio were still on when you entered, and the dry blood on the floor made a horrible sight that almost made you faint again, thankfully a strong arm was holding you since you get out of the car, and he was looking at the floor too.

"I can clean that if you want" He said helping you sit down on a chair. "I'm not sure if you should climb your stairs yet"

"Thanks, that would be great. I would say leave it but I have class early tomorrow and is not a nice view for a bunch of 4 year olds" you said thinking about the wooden floor and how much damage the blood would cause, and Barry walk inside the storage closet looking for a mop.

"Then I will leave it there, you are insane if you think you are going to give any class tomorrow" He came back with the cleaning supplies and gave you a judging look, lacking any authority since he was holding a bottle of detergent in on hand and a bucket in the other.

"Fine mom, I'll cancel" you held your hands high in surrender "Actually I can use a day off, I have this terrible student in the afternoon, he is a pain in the ass" You said and he rolled his eyes at you while rolling up his sleeves and starting to clean the floor.

An hour later the floor was spotless, he had an odd talent cleaning up blood, and made a funny shocked face when you pointed it out, the clock announce it was merely 8:00 pm and you had to remain awake until 6:00 am at least.

"I feel well enough to go upstairs, you can leave now" you told him hoping he would listen since his presence made you feel uneasy at times.

"No way, the doctor gave me a list of things to check up every couple hours, and if I leave you would fall asleep, but let's go get you upstairs, you will be more comfortable on your couch" He said approaching with the clear intention of carrying you on his arms.

"I can walk, that won't be necessary" You said quickly, ignoring the idea of how wonderful would it be to be held in those arms.

Maybe that was the reason you had end up screaming in the first place, an elaborate defense mechanism your brain set up in motion to ignore the growing feelings you had every time he enter the studio, every time you held his hand and forced down your waist while you were dancing, and the longing in your skin asking for more.

Of course there was handsome men in your class every now and then, grooms, fathers of the bride, actors, etc. and you had always conduct yourself professionally regardless the clear intentions some of them may have. And you have always respected your marriage with Alan even in the worst of times. But Barry was different, there was just something about the way he looked at you that make you want to scream and run away because it terrifies you how easily you could fall for him.

"Are you feeling nauseous?" He asked once you were sitting on the couch, and you nodded no "Tired? Clouded vision? Having incoherent thoughts?" He continued reading the list the doctor gave him.

"I believe I'm a big green marshmallow queen of the north pole, but that's normal right?" You say dead serious and he hide a grin behind the white sheet of paper.

"Very funny, we should call the doctor and share the joke with her" he said seriously.

"Fine, I'm sorry. I have a minor pain in my head, but I can see and hear perfectly clear, I remember everything that had happened clearly and I don't feel like vomiting" you said and he put the list away satisfied with your answers. "I'm sorry I'm being an imposition to you, I'm sure you had plans" You continued and he opened his mouth to reply he was staying once again so you keep talking before he did "And since you are staying here at least let me fix you something to eat, is late and I don't think you have eaten". You stood up and he followed you to the kitchen.

"You really don't have to, I can make a sandwich if you tell me where things are, or we could order something, I don't think you should be near sharp objects" He plead alarmed when you took out a large knife from a drawer.

"Fine, but I'm paying, and once again I can assure you this is nothing I have had worst" you said putting down the cutting board and opening the fridge to offer him a beer "once I broke my leg in 3 pieces" you said confidently showing him a long thin scar on the side of your leg and suddenly feeling exposed since you haven't change from your dancing clothes, and you didn't feel the same confidence wearing them outside the studio.

"I've been shoot, a lot" he said lifting part of his shirt showing you a couple scars, not helping the situation in your mind.

"Ok war hero, you win, can you please order the food, I am going to change, feel yourself at home" You said patting his hand urging him to cover and hurrying to your room away from him.

***

Y/N took forever to come out and when she finally did she was wearing a comfortable pajama, and was drying her hair with a towel.

"You took a shower?" Barry asked upset "You could have fallen"

"But thankfully I didn't, I have to I was covered in blood and I need to find a way to cover this" She pointed at the place the doctor have shaved her hair and she tried to hide it with a lock of hair.

"I'm sure the parents would understand you had an accident" he said confused by her despair.

"Yeah, they will mostly, but Alan would make a big deal out of it and I'm sure he will use it as an excuse to keep pushing me into selling the studio" She said letting her hair alone and crawling onto the couch.

"Why would he do that?" He asked trying to be interested and ignoring the pinch of jealousy he felt once again when she mentioned his name "I mean you do charge a lot but you have many clients"

"Is not about the business, he just thinks I should sale the studio to Macy since she knows how to run it, and move with him to Dallas or Colorado or whenever his company wants him, that way he would be home every night to see our children" She said exasperated at the idea.

"Children?" He asked a bit shocked since she never had mentioned any children before.

"The hypothetical children we will have in case I actually leave this place behind" She said with a sad look on her face.

"So you don't want to have children?" He asked now genuinely interested. "I mean it's okay if you don't" he said quickly.

"Honestly?" She asked and he nodded "I really don't know, I mean when I was 22 and dancing in Moscow I have this crazy fantasy that I would retire in glory from ballet at 32 and meet a wonderful man and have a girl and she would be a great dancer by the age of 4." She had a sad smile on her face as if she could see herself in the moment she was describing.

"Moscow? As in Russia?" He asked.

"Yep, I was about to become a Prima Ballerina, then I broke my leg and every money I had went to surgery and recovery and suddenly I was no longer fitting to play Odette, or any major role and eventually like three years after I have to come back, I worked in Broadway for a while, that's when I met Alan"

"Sounds romantic" he said sarcastically making her laugh

"It was, at least at first, but then I had another lesion in my ankle so I was no longer able to work there either, and he was nice and sweet and he was with me, so we got married and end up here, five years later dealing with moms that feel their children would be next Maria Kowroski"

Barry's phone start ringing and he went downstairs to pick up the food, when he came back she was holding a big photo album in her lap.

"I haven't seen one of those in forever" He said entering the apartment holding the bag with Chinese food. "I thought everyone had digital albums these days"

"They do, but you can't do this to digital pictures" She said showing him burned hole in one of the photos. "Kids these days, what would they burn when they break up with a boyfriend? Anyway I'm starving" she pointed to the kitchen so they could eat.

They share an animated meal talking about how life and technology was passing by them, maybe a little lost resentful than usually since they both have the same opinions on the matter.

"Did you told him?" He asked after a while, he was leaning back in his chair looking at her finishing some noodles. "About not wanting kids I mean"

"Of course I did, since we were dating,but he had this idea that he would make me change my mind, and I was sure I would make him change his. Now we have civil dinners when he is home and pretend we are not angry at the way this marriage turned out, just waiting for one of us to give up and accept the other terms" She said and her bluntness took him by surprise again.

"I'm sorry" he said with a sad frown on his face "Earlier when I said this was your dream job and that your situation is perfect, I have no idea and I'm sorry"

"Don't be, I shouldn't have to try and prove you wrong forcing myself to do the Odile's Coda, since I'm clearly not in shape to do it" She smile at him and pointed the injury in her head.

"Well that only make it worse, why would you need to prove anything to me? I'm really sorry"

"Relax, you already making up for it being here, and is only 10:00 pm, do you want to play a board game? I would say we watch a movie but I would fall asleep quicker that way" She said and he agreed.

They played scrabble, bringing out some dark competitive instincts on both of them, only interrupted when Barry took a couple trips to the bathroom to call Sally who was not upset at all that he had canceled their dinner since she had this amazing party to go to.

By 3:00 am and feeling extremely tired and looking at her about to give up he call the hospital, the doctor kindly told him she was clear to sleep, news he took gratefully, but before he could tell her she was already curled in the couch, he sit next to her and let her rest her head on his chest, maybe when they woke up he could feel guilt and remorse about it, maybe he would have to stay away from her since he was obviously interested in her but at that moment he was very comfortable and lost in the smell of her hair to care about anything else.

@meraki--mei