#9/10 recommend -- i'm def gonna keep this one

[theloveinc]

this is a fucking bomb ass recipe yall

[zylphiacrowley]

5 10 Songs I'm Into rn

I was tagged by both @hythlodaes and @midnightmagicks so... I'm gonna list 10 songs instead because I have so many I always want to list for these. Not tagging anyone else because my memory is bad and I don't remember who all has done it anymore, but if you haven't and you want to do it, tag me in it and tell 'em I sent you! Under a cut to save your scroll wheel.

Orion by IVEEN

I had to go back and make sure I didn't list this one the last time I was tagged in this. Good news I didn't! So now I get to link it! Beautiful harp music and IVEEN has ethereal mermaid fairy vibes.

2. Glass Piano by Kathleen

Just a vibe tbh. Also like the stuttered lyrics.

3. I Don't Wanna Talk (I Just Wanna Dance) by Glass Animals

Sometimes it be that way, don't it? Anything by Glass Animals is good tho (as long as it isn't Heatwaves... Heatwaves is a fine song I guess but it's been overplayed on the radio so that kind of ruined it for me).

4. Dh’èirich mi moch, b' fheàrr nach do dh’èirich by Julie Fowlis

I do not speak the language, but I feel like you don't have to. It's a very pretty almost bittersweet sounding song. Like reminiscing on a once happy memory that was somehow made sad but still brings you peace.

5. Technicolor Beat by O Wonder

I guess it's appropriate that a song called "Technicolor Beat" would have a really nice beat and vibe to it.

6. Heart Worth Breaking by The Midnight

Did I maybe use a line from this song for one of my Wolship things? Perhaps... I've been obsessed with The Midnight since the first time I heard them. Very much "driving through the city in the 80s, the rain hitting your windows and the neon lights illuminating the night" vibes. Also highly recommend both Shadows and Vampires (for the sexy sax solos).

7. We Keep On Running by What So Not & TOTO

I... I'm pretty sure this is What So Not and The TOTO... like Africa TOTO. I've been obsessed with it lately tho.

8. Home by Katie Turner

I found this while looking for sweet sappy love songs that evoke a sense of yearning lol. It didn't exactly work for what I was looking for at the time but it def delivers on all fronts (and I am putting a pin in it as a "maybe" for later).

9. By and Down the River by A Perfect Circle

I've been vibing with my old high school era tastes in music again lately so that includes plenty of A Perfect Circle.

10. Soil by Cosmo Sheldrake

This one is a super new release! I'm always down for some Cosmo Sheldrake. The whole album project that this song comes from is pretty good from what I've listened to so far. Also Cosmo Sheldrake is now intrinsically linked to Erenville in my brain because nature and wildlife and the fact that I had his music on repeat for hours when I was drawing him one day so there's that. :)

[aewrie]

distractions aren't working so

(yelling into the void to get this out of my system but seriously tread carefully if you're sensitive to topics of abuse/ c/sa /mental health crap)

i'd be looking for a therapist but am not exactly in the headspace to do so. my old one was overall great and i'd be contacting her but she was basically useless when it came to this topic. think she was more confused and conflicted at the idea of a child being the abuser than me. which. that's not gonna help. and by the time i'd trust myself to see through that ordeal idk. i could probably use it anyway but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

could use it right now. i've been crying on and off for like 3-4 hours, while teetering on the edge of another breakdown

took me what, 10?? years before i felt ok using the word trauma in reference to being bullied for years. even after i kinda knew how fucked it all was. only after a health professional was like 'yeah, that's trauma you've got going on' after hearing the tl;dr of my life i felt i was allowed to. (she then proceeded to recommend therapy lmao). bc it wasn't so bad. boy i'm good at rationalizing all that away. other people always have it worse! and it's not like there was obvious violence, so obviously it doesn't count.

same fucking thing when i got diagnosed with depression and anxiety. i was passively suicidal & heading into worse direction and i was only willing to admit that i was sad & anxious. probably. surely not anything that would warrant treatment.

and now this thing i've filed away under 'miscellaneous shit that was not ideal probably, but surely it wasn't' That Bad, other people have it Worse':

yesterday i checked out this vr interview stream dealing with abuse right before i had to go sleep (the best idea ever. clearly) and at the point i started watching the discussion made basically no sense so i figure i go to the start and watch from there. and the interviewee describes the abuse, and i'm fine until a particular detail comes up and then it kinda unraveled from there. i had to pause just to get a breather. i watched maybe a few minutes more idk.

i've looked into child psychology and sexual development before bc ever since i bumped into the term child-on-child sa i've been stuck with the whole 'but does it count if x y z' (mostly: can someone so young even be an abuser, bc obviously if he didnt' intentionally & maliciously do it, i am not allowed to feel upset), even earlier that same damn day! but nothing unequivocally said yes or no. so of course i'm going with the safe answer of no, i'm not allowed to call it abuse.

but after that Moment i looked at some more stuff and found a couple of videos, one from a therapist knowledgeable on the topic, and one first-hand account, read some comments to boot, and then i'm having the sort of crying episode that leaves me feeling physically sick for a full day at least

at work today I was distracted the second i was not properly busy, then i managed to keep it together for a bit when i got home and now here we are. fuck i'm glad i'll have multiple days off now. on the long run this is good to process. but def not feeling it right now lol. at least i'm not stuck in a corner of fandom where loaded buzzwords get thrown around like they mean nothing, i knew that fucked with my head even back during the vl/d heyday and i was just getting around to the 'ok that Happened and maybe it was messed up, but Not abuse' stage of denial

good news i might be done crying rn so i guess that helped

i guess this was gonna be happening sooner or later bc i've been somewhat actively thinking about all that for months but rip it came out of nowhere

(and gonna throw it in here just in case; i'd rather not have 'i'm sorry' messages or similar, 9 times out of 10 i just feel awkward as shit. more neutral (not sure what's the best word?) is fine)

[nickmillerscaulk]

OKAY MUSIC THING I'm back with one you don't have to work for. Genre theme: A Mess, all over the place, fuck a theme. Here goes: Kygo, The National, Alt-J, Sanitgold, Explosions In The Sky, Halsey

oh oh oh these are gonna be fun, @mego42​!!

Starting with the ones I do know:

If I know them: Alt-J (working off of their stuff from 2014 and earlier—I’m less familiar with their new stuff)

Favourite Song: Fitzpleasure

Least Favourite Song: n/a

Favourite Album: An Awesome Wave

Least Favourite Album: n/a 

Song that got me into them: Fitzpleasure or Breezeblocks

Seen Live?: I haven’t, but I would! I like how beat-heavy their music is. And I looooove a live show when you can feel the beat in your entire body.

Rate: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | *7.5* | 8 | 9 | 10

If I know them: Halsey

Favourite Song: Castle (OH MY GOD THIS WAS SO DIFFICULT and I have to mention a fave from each of her other full-length albums: Walls Could Talk and You should be sad)

Least Favourite Song: I... don’t think I have one?! I will say, I don’t like the interludes on Manic. I always skip over them. 

Favourite Album: BADLANDS

Least Favourite Album: Ugh it’s a tie between hfk & manic... but I love them both equally?? They’re just tied for second place with BADLANDS easily claiming first.

Song that got me into them: Ooh I heard Hold Me Down or Colors first, but I immediately listened to BADLANDS as a whole and was sold after Castle.

Seen Live?: YES and it was full body experience hahaha (no, but for real she is beyond incredible live... 10/10 would recommend).

Rate: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | *10*

As for these ‘don’t know them’ ones, I *do* technically know the artist, but I know no more than one or two songs by each of them:

If I don’t know them: Kygo

First song spotify took me to: Lose Somebody (w/ One Republic)

First Impression: It’s more chill than I was expecting! I went ahead to check out a couple of songs I recognized. I def know the one with Selena Gomez (love a dance/pop track now and then) and the one with Conrad Sewell (an Aussie!!). Yeah, overall surprised by how much more mellow his stuff is than I was imagining. 

Do I like it?: I do!

Would I listen to more from them?: Probably not something I’d seek out, but I think I’d keep him on if he came up in my spotify shuffle or on the radio! Would be fun on a pre-gaming playlist (ah, remember the good ol days of going OUT? DOING things? Dancing on a DANCEFLOOR in PUBLIC??)

Rate (from what I heard): 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | *6* | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

If I don’t know them: The National

First song spotify took me to: I Need My Girl

First Impression: Oh THAT’S a voice. Makes me feel like I’m in a cabin in the woods, wrapped up in a warm blanket on a rainy autumn evening. Love me some moody, emotional, mellow indie rock. 

Do I like it?: Very much so.

Would I listen to more from them?: I think I would! But I think I’d have to be in a specific mood for them. Ideally in that cabin in the woods.

Rate (from what I heard): 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | *7.5* | 8 | 9 | 10

If I don’t know them: Santigold

First song spotify took me to: Run The Road (I skipped over Disparate Youth bc I know that song far too well and I love it dearly)

First Impression: I’m trying not to let my love for Disparate Youth overshadow this first impression, so... overall I love how unique Santigold’s sound is. I don’t even know how to describe it? But there are so many layers to it! And it’s extremely cool. I dig the vibe.

Do I like it?: Heck yeah 

Would I listen to more from them?: Definitely. I want more Santigold on Good Girls too, please? (I’m certain you’re reading this, Jonathan Leahy.)

Rate (from what I heard): 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | *7.5* | 8 | 9 | 10

If I don’t know them: Explosions In The Sky

First song spotify took me to: So Long, Lonesome (skipped over Your Hand In Mine because I was deeply obsessed with it during my twilight fandom phase)

First Impression: There is something so distinct about Explosions’ sound. And I find it super comforting. There’s this magical, twinkly, almost narrative-like quality to them. Ya feel? 

Do I like it?: LOVE IT.

Would I listen to more from them?: Absolutely. Perfect writing/editing music.

Rate (from what I heard): 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | *9* | 10