#9-5 + commuting + cooking + washing up turns it into like a 12 hour day of labor and reproductive labor

[mypassionfortrash]

Do More of What Scares You (Part 12)

After you leave, things go from bad to worse for Roger over the rest of the tour as his bandmates distance themselves from him. Back home, your best friend comes up with a plan to take your mind off Roger. 💡Catch up: 1&2 ~ 3&4 ~ 5&6 ~ 7&8&9 ~ 10&11💡

Notes: Thank you so much for reading! I’m going to be posting the final two parts over the weekend! Get ready!

Things got worse for Roger as the tour progressed. 

He stumbled through each show, barely registering which city he found himself in; trashed kits, broken bottles and spending a fortune on thrills of every kind had become ingrained in his daily routine. He threw himself back into the rock and roll lifestyle with gusto.

Every night, the parties grew with wild, unchecked opulence. Cocaine did the rounds. It never agreed with him, but he took it by the bucketload these days. Strippers were a staple. He loved those. He especially enjoyed the ‘extra services’ they offered to select (read: rich) clients. He’d tip them handsomely, too - more out of self pity than gratitude.

Each member of his band slowly distanced themselves from him. 

Roger couldn’t see past the inciting incident that led to the demise of his relationship. And the blame for that he placed squarely on Freddie. He was as twisted as Roger, and he had other, better and more important distractions to attend to. Any time Roger and Freddie ended up in the same room together, it would always end in Roger reminding Freddie that he left his girlfriend for dead; then Freddie’s assistant, Paul, would drag him away to the nearest sordid club to make him forget about that day’s argument. Roger loved holding grudges, though. There was no way of breaking that cycle, so Freddie made sure to keep his distance for the rest of the tour.

Then Deacy grew tired of his hostility. Roger was like a petulant child, whining about how much he missed his girlfriend, and how it was all Freddie’s fault she left him. There was only so much Deacy could listen to, so much he could watch. Not wanting to be dragged into Roger’s mission for self destruction, Deacy quietly gave up spending time with him. Roger would swing by Deacy’s hotel room after every other gig, looking for another buddy to get wrecked with. But Deacy knew how to fob people off - it wasn’t hard when it was a drunk and emotional Roger. “I’m busy,” “I’m washing my hair,” “Sorry, Veronica’s going to call and put the kids on the phone.” All lies. He spent more time sampling local bars - and local women - with the crew than with his bandmates.

Brian stuck by Roger the longest. He was always the one to try to make Roger see sense when he was deep in the throes of another rough night. But when Roger almost suffocated in a pile of white powder and his own vomit, Brian just couldn’t bring himself to watch as his best friend ruined himself so stubbornly. There was no talking to Roger.

And so, on the morning that Queen were due to fly home, Roger had to be woken up by his assistant, Crystal.

He lay, spaced out of his dainty blonde head, in the centre of a kingsized bed with a greasy looking prostitute on each arm. A peaceful scene, that Crystal took great pleasure in ruining by throwing no less than six icy glasses of water over. 

“The fuck did you do that for?” Roger whined, sitting bolt upright.

“You’re supposed to be on a flight home in two hours,” Crystal responded with a jab of his finger. “Get them out of here and get in the shower. You fucking stink.”

Roger groaned, throwing himself back down into his pillow, while his company frantically retrieved their scant clothing from the previous night.

Crystal gave it an hour, standing guard outside Roger’s room. He had even taken the liberty of dragging Roger’s belongings down to the car outside. But when Roger failed to show, he took matters into his own hands. He teamed up with Ratty, one of Freddie’s roadies, to haul the drummer outside by any means necessary. He was like a dead weight - the pair swore they nearly put their back out, carting him out of the hotel.

When the deed was done, and Mr Taylor was safely stowed in First (with enough champagne and cocaine to last him the flight back to Heathrow), they took their places in Coach with a sigh and a toast of cheap lager. Homeward bound.

—————————————

The weeks you spent away from Roger were hard. There was no denying it. The smallest things would remind you of him. Something one of your friends said or a Mercedes zooming past you on the street - even the shape of your coworker’s glasses transported you back to misty forests, open waters and skinny dipping. 

But life continued to deal you blows you couldn’t avoid.

Alex meant well. They all did. And you were certain they were growing tired of your musings about where Roger was, or what he was getting up to. And with whom.

It was a Friday night. You and Alex had parked yourselves in front of the telly for the night, sinking Prosecco like it was going out of fashion, and committed yourselves to cheering you up. Temporarily, at least.

Fat lot of good it did you. All Alex was good for was babbling on about how lovely Jake - her ‘oh so perfect’ other half - was. He bought her flowers when she had the flu. He always did the dishes after she cooked him dinner - like that was an achievement in itself. Apparently he was a catch. She was in love. Besotted. And it only made you think of Roger. 

Eventually, the conversation turned to you. She couldn’t resist. 

But her own sparkling brand of brass blonde narcissism shone through. 

“I could have told you Roger was no good for you when you told me about him,” she grumbled, necking the dregs in her glass. “I could have chosen someone better for you. You know, Jake’s brother, Michael’s a dish. Maybe he’d be interested in you.” She reached her slender hand out to brush your hair behind your ear, getting a good look at you with those murky, serpentine eyes of her’s. “Of course, we’re going to have to do something about all of this, aren’t we? You just don’t make the best of yourself.”

Your stomach lurched. “What’s wrong with the way I look? Freddie-”

“But Freddie’s not your friend, remember? From what you told me, it sounds like Freddie left you for dead!” she scoffed, widening her eyes. She looked manic, rocking toward you to hammer home her point.  “Tell me you’ll come to dinner with us - a double date!”

“What?”

“Oh come off it! It’s time you got back in the dating game!”

“The dating game?”

“Yes! Me, you, Michael and Jake! It’ll be fun.”

“Which night was it you wanted to…” You trailed off, twirling a strand of your hair around your finger. Your brain clawed for any excuse not to go.

“Next Friday. Jake and I are going to that new Greek place near Covent Garden. Halloumi, it’s called.”

“I-I… I don’t even like halloumi!” You thought that was a good enough reason. Evidently not.

Alex drummed her hand against the sofa, annunciating every single word. “They. Do. More. Than. Halloumi.”

You huffed, sinking back into the sofa. The rushing in your ears was never far away; you could predict how awful that double date was going to be and how noisy your brain would get. But Alex was like a dog with a bone. And you were tiring of this conversation. “I don’t know if I’m up to this.”

Alex rolled her eyes and poured herself another glass of wine. “Always so dramatic. It’s not even going to be half as bad as you think it’ll be. It’s just your… anxiety… thing,” she shrugged.

“If I say yes, will you stop pestering me?”

———

Seven days later, you were crammed like sardines around a table inside Halloumi. The room was packed to the rafters, like they had made every effort to cram as many bodies into one room as they could. Mugginess hung in the air like a noose around your neck, reminding you of stressful summer commutes, or how you felt on your first date with Roger. 

Oh god, there he was again.

All those conscious efforts you made to make him leave you alone weren’t exactly working the way you hoped. 

It didn’t help matters that you could barely read Jake or Alex or Michael’s lips over the bustle as they indulged in mindless chatter. Unable to join in, you zoned out. 

Not that you wanted to be there, or join in, for that matter.

Michael wasn’t even your type. His plaid suit didn’t fit him and his shoes looked like they belonged to a clown. His laugh was so abrasive that it made you recoil whenever he erupted into a fit of it, bashing the table for good measure. Alex said he was a dish, but it looked like he was wearing tonight’s dish - shards of spinach sandwiched between his teeth. He was no Roger.

Another joke and another round of laughs brought you back to your senses for a moment. Just long enough for you to noticed that you had stewed through one of your favourite red dresses while your brain did its hamster-wheel thing and your ears went off to sea. 

Had you worn this one for Roger? Fuck, you did. On your first fucking date. Typical.

The realisation forced you to your feet, driving a wedge through the niceties being exchanged around the table. Alex, Jake and Michael put down their cutlery in unison to gawp at you. No words fell from their lips. A first this evening. 

You welcomed it. They were insufferable. Three of the most grotesque human beings you had ever met, actually.

“I’m…” you trailed off, jabbing a thumb in the direction of the bathroom.

Alex rolled her eyes. “Go on! Do a runner!” she mocked, with the brothers echoing her cruel laughter.

Your legs couldn’t have carried you through the rickety wooden door in the corner of the room any faster if they tried. When it slammed closed, your surroundings began to cave in on you. Like a victorian outhouse, the stench of faeces burned in your nostrils and settled in your lungs, shaking  up the acid in your gut. There was no holding back. Hunched over a hole on an elevated plinth, you let it all go. Heaving and squirming and sweating. The sweat etched blotches underneath the arms of your dress and all down your back. The damp material felt constrictive as it clung to your skin; there was no way you could go back out there. Absolutely not, you thought, straightening your back.

You turned towards the sink and eyed yourself in the mirror. The buzzing and flickering of the lights could turn even the most beautiful woman into a gargoyle. But the signs of your mental state showed everywhere. Trails of vomit tracked down from the corners of your mouth, and your mascara had run a mile. You just looked like a sad clown. Huffing, you puffed out your cheeks and looked up at the ceiling, bracing yourself on the edge of the sink. God, those lights were harsh on your eyes. You scrunched them shut isolating yourself in just one way. 

The rushing was still there.

The longer you stayed rooted on the spot, the more unstable your feet in your four-inch heels became. Turning back to the rudimentary throne, your eyes searching the room for an escape route.

A tiny, open window behind the loo caught your attention.

Your heart pounded as you scrambled for freedom. It never occurred to you that your body might not fit through the slender gap. Rational thought didn’t rank highly on your list of priorities in that moment.

You stood up straight on the wooden plinth, sizing up the window. You sucked in your stomach and patted down your breasts (it did nothing to make them smaller, just a cursory comfort ahead of your disappearing act). And then you went for it. 

You grabbed the ledge, hauled yourself up and burst headfirst out into the street above.

It was raining. It was dark. But at least you were out of there.

——————————————————————————————————

You couldn’t remember how or when you got home the night before, but you woke up the next morning fully clothed. Complete with your heels still on. Tossing on to your back, you recoiled in horror as a dreamy orange sunrise seeped through your bedroom curtains. You groaned. Life wasn’t going to get better by itself. You had to make an effort. Something. Anything.

So you resolved to make time for yourself; going where you wanted, doing things you loved and trying to make sense of where your life had got to.

That first hour was torture. You were still groggy from the night before; coffee burned more than it usually did and showering felt akin to having millions of ice shards fired at you for a whole five minutes. Even picking out something to wear was a chore.

But when you finally pulled a comfy sweater and your favourite jeans, and fixed your hair and did your makeup, a small sliver of hope shot through your brain. You could do this. You could go a whole day without thinking about Roger. None of your friends’ futile efforts at finding you love, or Roger Meddows Taylor’s sleights could get to you now, you thought, flouncing towards your door and shoving on your coat.

You opened your door, ready to go. But the figure loitering in your hallway stopped you in your tracks. 

“Jim?”

He turned to face you, raising his eyebrows in surprise. “I thought I had the wrong block for a moment there,” he laughed quietly. “You’re just the person I wanted to see.”

You crossed your arms. “So Roger’s got you doing his dirty work for him now, has he?”

“No, but he’s the reason I needed to see you.” His brow furrowed, finding the words to say to you. “I haven’t heard from him in three weeks.”

“That’s not my problem.”

“We’ve tried everything. He’s not answering the door, or his phone. None of us have heard from him. We’re not even sure if he’s home. We’re off to Munich tomorrow. To record another album.”

“If this is about money-”

“Please. The label can sing for it for all I care. God knows, we have enough of it to buy our way out,” Jim rambled, scratching the back of his head. “I’m just worried what Freddie, Brian and John will do if anything has happened to Roger. They’re a family.”

“With all due respect, I’m not in the right frame of mind to see him right now.”

“But he’ll listen to you.”

You shouldered past Jim and hurried down the first flight of stairs. “I still don’t care.”

“Please,” Jim pleaded, his words preventing you from taking another step. “Just go and see him.”

Determined to maintain your steely resolve, you clenched your jaw. “That’s not my problem, Jim. I’ll see you around.”

That sadistic streak reared its ugly head within you. Wandering aimlessly through the city, you took pleasure in the thought of Roger sitting in his flat, or at his mansion, pining for you. It proved to be just the tonic for your broken heart. Knowing that he was hurting so badly that he couldn’t even bear to be around his own bandmates had you smiling to yourself at regular intervals. The crowds at Kensington Market were like a warm hug, blanketing you as you threaded your way between the bodies and the stalls, picking up trinkets and treats every so often until your arms were full and your belly ached from hunger. Home time.

You wearily plonked yourself down on a rare, free seat on the tube, settling in for the ride back to Brixton. Your eyes felt heavy. Your head lolled back, allowing the carriage window to judder against your skull. It felt strangely therapeutic, beating your brain to sleep.

The feverish knock of a fist on fine oak rattled you to your senses. Drowsy from the tube ride, it didn’t even register that it was your own hand stretched out in front of you, rapping on a towering auburn coloured door. And then it clicked.

You had never been here before.

But you just knew.

Your stomach dropped.

But you couldn’t stop your hand from battering the door.

You glanced around at the quiet street; the pristine row of white townhouses, the river of crisp orange leaves on the pavement, the expensive cars. Your heart pounded against your ribcage. Your ears rushed. Your hand quickened.

Until…

[yournewapartment]

Hey, how are you? I'm a victim of emotional abuse by my parents and currently trying to get out of it. Do you have any advice (may it be personal or not) about not just healing from it, but also how to cope with it while still being in that situation? I would be more than grateful for your answer PS your blog is a great help and gets me through the day

First of all: I am so proud of you for staying strong and keeping your sanity! Situations like this are never easy, and although I don’t have personal experience with this, a close friend of mine went through something very similar. It does get better once you move out of your parent’s house, and getting to that point may seem difficult to realize now, but by the time you get there you’re going to be so prepared and ready to go. I believe in you!!

Here are two goals that I think you should think about:

Moving Out: Even if you’re underage, there are steps you can start to prepare yourself for moving out of your parent’s house. 

Caring For You: In the meantime, your primary objective should be to take care of yourself as best you can.

Moving Out

1. The first step is to find some sort of part-time job.

I’m going to assume that you’re still in school, so you’re not looking for a job that is going to consume large portions of your free time. A good rule of thumb is working anywhere from 17-20 hours a week.

If this is one of your first jobs (or your first job) you can’t be expected to be paid much more than minimum wage. What you should look for is the possibility to earn small raises as you progress in the job.

You’re looking for something relatively easy. You have enough stress and anxiety in your life, you don’t need anymore! 

And finally (and most importantly) you need a job that you can commute to on your own. You can’t rely on your parents to offer you transportation to and from your job, especially if they aren’t thrilled at the idea of you becoming financially independent. Look for something that you can walk, bike, or ride public transportation to. If you do have access to a car, please ignore this!

2. Check out my job masterpost for specific information on cover letters and writing resumes! I do have a link on their specifically pertaining to finding a job in high school. 

3. The job may take some time to secure! In the meantime, get into the habit of saving a specific amount of money each week. Don’t get bogged down on the amount- at first it may be as little as $25. Once you get the job, you’ll be able to incrementally increase how much you’re putting away.

4. If you are over 18, get yourself your own bank account that your parents don’t have access to. Your parents don’t need access to your finances, especially if they’re emotionally abusive. A friend of mine tried to move out of her parent’s house, and her father literally moved all of her savings into his account so that she was unable to move.

Unfortunately, people under 18 will require joint accounts with their parents, so you can’t get your own account. In this case I would recommend you looking for a job that will pay you cash so that you can store this without your parent’s access. Either that, or you could start withdrawing small amounts of cash and stashing them somewhere safe. I would not recommend withdrawing large sums, because it might make your parents suspicious. 

5. Gather as many of your important papers as possible. Papers such as your birth certificate, tax information, insurance cards, etc. If you at some point become estranged from your parents, you don’t want them to be able to hold these over your head. It’s very hard to adult in life without important pieces of information such as these.

6. Talk to customer service professionals. You won’t believe how much of your “adult” life revolves around speaking to people in call centers. Get comfortable talking to people over the phone, giving them precise information, and sticking up for yourself. Customer service people are trained to tell you “no”, but try not to get discouraged. Remember that you’re not being rude if you politely ask to speak to their manager- that’s what the manager is there for.

7. Learn some basic recipes. The more homemade recipes you can master by the time you’re ready to move out- the better! You don’t need to be Gordon Ramsay, just focus on learning the skills to make food that appeals to you. Once again I’m going to be tooting my own horn- here’s the post I wrote about basic cooking techniques.

8. Learn some basic household chores. If your parents are bothered by you doing chores, confine these chores to times they’re not around, or do them only for your items. For example:

Laundry

Washing dishes

Mopping

Vacuuming (especially learning how to clean vacuums)

Cleaning the bathroom

Cat litter

9. Read “How to Run Away From Home” by Orphan Survival Guide. Use this if you absolutely have to. Her blog is fantastic, and she has so many resources for these sort of situations. Unfortunately she no longer updates her Tumblr, but she does update her website and her twitter.

10. Work towards becoming an independent tax payer. You mentioned that you’re from another country, so I’m not sure how it works for you. But in America, your parents claiming you as a dependent grants them a tax break. This tax break is nice for them, but it ends up costing you money, because the government will require you to pay a higher percentage of taxes. If you claim yourself as an independent, your parents can no longer claim you, and they lose their tax break. This essentially takes you out of their income tax bracket, and puts you in whatever one corresponds with how much you’re earning. This means:

You’ll get the tax break and save serious $$

You’ll have a better chance of being awarded Financial Aid because the government will be able to see that you can’t afford college otherwise

You’ll have a better chance at being awarded free health insurance or much lower premiums (in America)

11. Consider dorming or utilizing student housing at a university with some close (and responsible) friends. This gets you out of the house, and as far away from your family as you want. It’s also a nice middle ground- moving straight from your parent’s house to an apartment on your own may leave you slightly shellshocked. There’s a lot of responsibility that comes with owning your own place, and being in debt to a university dorming service is a lot better than being in debt to a landlord who can take legal maneuvers against you. Also:

You’ll be around people your own age = support system

You can switch roommates each semester if you want to

You won’t have 100 adult responsibilities to deal with at once.

You won’t have to worry about separate bills like heating, electric, water, etc. You’ll just have one bill.

You don’t have to worry about a car yet. 

12. If you’re absolutely set on moving into an apartment on your own, check out this post finance-wise. Also this post on finding an apartment.

Caring For You

1. Complete your first level education. If it’s hard to find a quiet space to study at home, utilize local community spaces like parks, cafes, and libraries. Libraries are fantastic because:

They’re indoors (so it doesn’t matter what the weather’s like)

They have computers + printing + free wifi

They have bathrooms

Sometimes they sell packaged food or beverages

They have tons of resources

You can sit for hours and not be disturbed

2. Similarly- find a quiet place to pursue your interests. Your interests are what make you unique, and it’s easy to lose their focus in the face of extreme environmental stress. Are there any local groups/clubs you can join that interest you? Is there a free class you can take? A friend’s house you can paint at?

3. Find three people to confide in. It may seem uncomfortable, but the more people who know about what you’re going through, the better. You’re not burdening people by telling them, you’re not inconveniencing them, and you’re taking care of yourself in turn. Here are some people you can tell:

Your favorite teacher

A guidance counselor

Your best friends

A distant relative who isn’t close with your parents

4. I was going to make an “additional resources” section, but Orphan Survival Guide already has such a good one that I’m just going to use her’s. Orphan Survival Guide’s Resources

If any of my followers have any advice to add, please do! Stay strong babe, you’ll get through this. 

[deafblindblast]

99 Ways to Add Mindfulness to Your Day

Link: https://www.thegoodtrade.com/features/mindfulness-exercises?rq=mindfulness

***Few edits on this article to fit DeafBlind audience. Enjoy!

Small Steps For Feeling Grounded

The world feels uncertain right now—with quarantines and social distancing from the COVID-19 pandemic, we’re all feeling a bit untethered. All in need of a few deep breaths and a practice that keeps us rooted in ourselves. Enter: mindfulness.

Mindfulness is presence, embodied awareness, and connection to our experiences of the world around us. It doesn’t require hours of meditation each day; it does, however, require constant and conscious decisions to remain present in each moment.

Practicing mindfulness isn’t just for the privileged, either. It’s not always prescriptive, and your mindfulness might look different than someone else’s. Let’s hold space for each other as we all focus on connecting more deeply to ourselves and those around us.

We’ve pulled together 99 moments that offer themselves up to our awareness, and allow us to practice a little mindfulness no matter where we’re at.

Mindfulness In The Morning

1. When you wake up in the morning, do a body scan. Identify any sensations, comfortable or uncomfortable. Wiggle your toes. Lick your lips. Practice being present in your body.

2. Make your bed and mist it with water and eucalyptus essential oil. (At night, use lavender essential oil instead.)

3. Step outside to breathe the fresh air and get a sense for what the day may bring.

4. Make french press coffee. Grind whole beans with a non-electric grinder for a tactile experience. If you prefer tea, steep loose leaf in a teapot.

5. Hand-wash your mug when you’re done using it.

6. Meditate in the shower. Focus on the smell of the soap and how the warm water feels on your skin.

7. Light a candle and set an intention as you get ready in the morning. How do you feel today?

8. While brushing your teeth, identify one goal for the day.

9. Instead of rushing to the next task, wipe down the sink after you’ve washed your face or applied makeup.

10. Do small favors for your after-work self; in the morning, unload the dishwasher, take out the trash, turn on a diffuser.

11. Stick affirmations on your mirror or write them on labels of products you regularly use, like lotion or chapstick. Recite them aloud, and update them when it feels right.

12. If you take daily medicine or multivitamins, pour yourself a little extra water and drink it quietly as you reflect on what those medicines or supplements allow you to do.

13. Read a transcript to a news podcast instead of checking social media. Opt for reading too.

14. Place your hand on an object you use every day—your coffee maker, your car, your laptop. Extend a moment of gratitude for the object and what purpose it serves in your life.

Mindfulness In Your Routine

15. Wash your produce and rinse your rice slowly and thoroughly as you settle into the rhythm of cooking and nourishing yourself.

16. Eat without media distractions.

17. Practice mindful eating; pay attention to how food tastes and feels on your tongue. Experience how a warm mug curves gracefully in your palms.

18. Fold your laundry neatly and thoughtfully before you put it away; you can try Marie Kondo’s technique, or embrace one that is fully your own.

19. Water your plants. Wipe down their individual leaves.

20. As you move about your home, ask yourself, “Am I using everything in this drawer?” Set yourself up for flow by seasonally rearranging your rooms to match your lifestyle. If there’s a kitchen tool that’s always in your way, move it to a lower drawer or pantry, so you only see the daily essentials.

21. Visit the library and borrow a book. Stay awhile and browse the shelves. Turn over the books in your hands, read a few pages. Allow yourself space for curiosity.

22. Feel the music instead of turning on the television.

23. Ground yourself by scrubbing kitchen counters or the bathtub. Pause. Lean back and take in the sight with gratitude and respect for the home that helps sustain you.

24. Hand-wash a garment. Feel the warm water on your hands, hang the garment gently on a drying rack.

25. Turn lights on as you enter rooms, inviting one positive thought with the light. Turn them off when you leave, reminding yourself to release negative thought patterns.

26. When reaching for another cup of coffee or a glass of wine, fill your cup with water instead. Drink it down with a reminder to care for yourself.

27. Replace your usual screentime with a different craft or screen-free hobby.

28. Pick out an outfit for tomorrow, and make sure it’s clean, steamed, or ironed as needed. Hang it up.

29. At the end of the night, spare a minute or two to sip herbal tea and reflect on the day without judgment.

30. Read a poem or passage aloud. Read slowly. Feel each word.

31. While you brush your teeth at night, identify one success from the day.

Mindfulness At Work Or Out In The World

32. Focus on your breathing while you are driving, walking, or commuting.

33. Commute in silence. Don’t try to fill the quiet with noise to avoid discomfort; find peace in the stillness of your choice of transportation.

34. Engage yourself in a new way by driving, walking, or biking a different route to work.

35. Allow yourself to doodle while planning your day. If your hand wants to wander into an abstract squiggle, let it.

36. Keep a Bullet Journal, an all-encompassing space for to-do lists, note-taking, calendars, and random thoughts. Give yourself freedom from mental overcrowding. As soon as something (anything) crosses your mind, jot or type it down.

37. If you sit at a desk, check in with your posture to make sure you haven’t absentmindedly started hunching over. Keep your wrists in a neutral position when possible. Maybe it’s whenever you hit “send” on an email or whenever you notice the hot pink sticky note on your computer.

38. Take a moment to stretch your vision and look away from your screen. What is the farthest thing you can see?

39. Go for a walk on your lunch break and breathe in the fresh air.

40. Schedule out time to check your emails and Slack messages. Remove any popups or notifications on your desktop to prevent distractions.

41. Use bathroom breaks to enjoy a few moments of quiet. Maybe do some light stretches in the restroom and check in with how your body is feeling.

42. Close extra browser tabs to remind you to focus on the task at hand.

43. Each time you switch tasks, write down the timestamp and what you are doing.

44. If you are in a place you go every day, feel and notice one thing that you’ve never noticed before.

45. Shut your computer down at the end of the day to signify the end of work. Wipe down your keyboard.

46. Go on a walk without a destination. Leave your phone at home.

47. When you’re walking, keep your head up. Focus on the heel-to-toe movement of your steps.

48. Stop and smell the flowers. Reach out and touch a leaf or a tree trunk. Experience the joy of running your hands or bare feet through grass and earth. Indulge your senses with nature.

49. If possible, feel for loose change on the ground as you walk. Or, look for birds. Or skateboarders. Or blue cars. Focus on one element to keep your mind from wandering into the future or dwelling on the past.

50. Set a budget. Use cash to pay for items so that you always see how much you have left.

51. Set checkpoints throughout the day to check in on how you feel. Name the feeling and acknowledge it: is it worry? Is it stress? Is it hope? No need to implement solutions; simply recognize your feelings.

Mindfulness With Others

52. Hug your partner, friend, or pet for 30 seconds. Sign sweet affirmations to them.

53. Pause to leave a thoughtful, positive comment on a friend’s Instagram or Facebook. Direct messaging works, too.

54. If you’re wearing or using something you particularly love, email or tag the brand to thank them for their work. Do this especially for independent artists and makers.

55. Tell your partner what you most want to hear from them today. And then say it to yourself as well.

56. Say “no” when your schedule is hectic or when you’re feeling close to burnout. Respect your calendar and take an evening for yourself every once in a while. Don’t be afraid to make plans weeks out in advance.

57. Tell your co-workers or team that you are thankful for their work. Thank your barista for making you a delightful cup of coffee and your mail carrier for delivering your package. Just thank someone.

58. When you are prompted to pass judgment on someone, especially in conversation with others, ask yourself if there’s another perspective to consider. Think twice before engaging in gossip.

59. Inform yourself about slurs and ableist language. Find alternatives for those words and phrases. Embrace it as an opportunity to do better, to learn, to grow.

60. Make contact with people you are communicating with.

61. Pause for something silly—text a gif to a friend, tell your partner a joke, or dance it out in your kitchen. Embrace lightheartedness, even if just for a moment.

62. Practice mindfulness with your kids through play, or take a moment to ask them what the happiest moment of their day was.

63. Instead of asking the same old “how are you?”, ask someone, “what was the best part of your day?” or one of these other questions. Resist the automatic.

64. Practice mindful listening.

65. If you experience overwhelm or stress because of customers or co-workers, practice loving-kindness meditation. Remind yourself to act from a place of love—whether it’s when you respond or how you remove yourself from difficult people.

66. Be direct about your needs. Invite others to be direct with you. There is mindfulness in clarity and direction.

Mindfulness Alone—With Tech

67. Set reminders on your phone to check in on your hydration throughout the day. Take a moment to fill your water bottle, take a sip, and breathe deeply.

68. Turn off push notifications and badges on your phone. (Except your hydration check-ins!)

69. Schedule your media consumption in advance. Are you in the middle of re-watching “The Office”? Put one or two episodes on the calendar for the evening to avoid the endless Netflix spiral.

70. Play a video game that is soothing and helps you achieve a flow state.

71. Before posting something to social media, ask yourself why you feel it’s important to share. If it’s in search of external validation, take a moment to validate yourself instead.

72. Unfollow accounts that make you feel bad about yourself. The media we consume nourishes us, for better or for worse. Occasionally follow new accounts that feel healthy and supportive.

73. Delete Instagram or other distracting apps from your phone when you’re feeling overwhelmed; you can reinstall later.

74. Each time you’re tempted to visit Facebook or Twitter out of boredom, open a note and jot down the thoughts buzzing in your brain. This helps delay checking out old high school crushes and gives you a chance to check in with the “why” behind the urge.

75. If you come up against a non-urgent question, make a note of it and Google it later if it’s still pressing.

76. If you’re overwhelmed with content, choose one piece to read a day.

77. Listen to your favorite song and think deeply about it. What do you like about it? Is it the sound of the singer’s voice? The gentle bass bubbling in the background? The spunky snare?

78. Change your phone and desktop background to a calm reminder. While you’re at it, organize your docs and apps in a way that allows you to use your tech more mindfully.

79. Use a meditation or breathing app.

80. Create playlists for each part of your day: getting ready, commuting, working, cooking, winding down with a book in the evening. Set the mood and the intention for each action.

81. Go on a photo walk—use your phone to take pictures of beautiful flowers, sights, and other things that brighten your day. You don’t have to share these photos.

Mindfulness Alone—Without Tech

82. Meditate. Keep your mind from wandering by focusing on how the air of your inhales and exhales literally feels against your nose. (It’s often cold for the former, warm for the latter.)

83. Carry a “wallet poem.” Print or write out a poem that you’d like to reflect on and keep it in your wallet or phone case to read when you’re waiting for something.

84. Set aside time (maybe put it on your to-do list) to practice small maintenance rather than cramming it in. Clipping your nails, shaving, trimming nose hairs, applying a face mask.

85. Start a journal. Whether it’s a gratitude journal or a daily diary, note how you feel and how you’re experiencing the world.

86. Whenever you see or feel something soft, take it as a reminder to soften. Unclench your jaw, release sharp thoughts, lower your shoulders. Remind yourself that you, too, are a soft creature.

87. Apply hand lotion, and massage it into your fingertips and palms. If it’s scented, take deep breaths and enjoy the fragrance.

88. Invert yourself. Get your head below your heart in a handstand, forward bend, or hanging backward off the bed. It’s a playful posture and a reminder that you don’t have to be so serious all the time.

89. Pull tarot cards, consult your horoscope, connect to a passage in a religious text—look for input from outside resources. These nurture our inner voice, and the wisdom will stay on-hand for when we need it.

90. Ask yourself what you need right now. Is it a bath? A kind word? A cup of water? Get in the habit of asking often. And when you can, deliver.

91. Identify one thing to smile about right now. Maybe it’s a precious dog outside your window, the way the sunlight hits the floor, or a long-missed dust bunny in the corner.

92. Make a list of things you are good at, ways you bring value to others, compliments you have received, times that you feel happiest. Add to it; reflect on it; celebrate it.

93. When you feel frustrated about something, re-frame it with gratitude, empathy, or patience. Ask yourself when you feel tension growing—is there another way to view this situation?

94. Practice yoga geared towards mindfulness. Pair a yoga class with a meditation session. Yoga with Adriene has free classes you can practice at home.

95. How deep is your breath right now? If it’s shallow or you’re feeling stressed, use one of these simple breathing exercises.

96. The 54321 grounding technique can invite you back into your body. Focus on 5 things you can see, 4 things you can hear, 3 things you can feel, 2 things you can smell, and 1 thing you can taste.

97. Pause when the sunshine hits your face. Embrace its warmth. Pause when the wind hits your face. Embrace its chill.

98. Look for instances of your favorite color in the world. Pick a new color each day, or stick with the same color and look for new and surprising pops of it wherever you can.

99. Write a note to yourself about a recent accomplishment or moment that you surprised yourself. Revisit it later on a day you need a little encouragement.

[ncmagroup]

By James Marshall

Employee recognition and appreciation has undoubtedly been proven for amazing results for any company willing to take the time to appreciate their employees. Employee appreciation has a low cost but a huge impact on your workforce.

According to Psychometrics:

When asked what leaders could do more of to improve engagement, 58% of respondents replied “Give recognition.”

In workplaces where opportunity and well-being were a valued part of the company culture, strong manager performance in recognizing employee performance has been shown to increase engagement by nearly 60%!

These are just a few of the benefits of employee appreciation, now let’s get into some awesome ideas you can implement right away.

1. Servant Leadership Cookoff

via GIPHY

Have the supervisory staff cook breakfast in the kitchen, or lunch on the grill for an afternoon. Teammates will love getting served by their leaders, and of course the free food. They’ll know you appreciate their labor when they see you labor to serve them. Don’t forget the egg-less eggs and veggie patties if necessary.

2. Working at the Car Wash

Take that servant leader attitude just one step farther and wash a special employee’s car for them.

Employees love to see their managers doing work for them, and the entire team will enjoy. Get the entire management team involved for a company-wide car wash! Few things exemplify appreciation like humility. And the employees will appreciate driving home in a cleaner car.

3. Spot of Coffee Spot Bonus

Few things say “I appreciate you” more than a Starbucks gift card. Get the simple $5. versions so you can hand them out to the entire team.

If budget is a concern, purchase just a few of them and give them away to those who can answer important company trivia questions (e.g. What year was Dunder Mifflin founded?). This will serve as an exercise in appreciation and learning.

4. Saturday Morning Donuts & Bagels

via GIPHY

Is your staff coming in an extra day, or have they been working extra hard to meet an important deadline.

Stop by your nearest Donut or Bagel Shop on the way into work and make sure to buy enough for everyone on your team to get their employee appreciation snack. Be mindful of any dietary restrictions across your team and be sure to get a few gluten free or vegan selections so everyone can enjoy your generosity.

5. Roll out the TV

Will an upcoming shift coincide with a popular season finale on TV, or an important football game? Show your team how much you appreciate their outside interests by tuning the TV to their favorite sport so they can keep track of the score.

6. Give a Shout Out (Literally)

via GIPHY

Sometimes we just need to say it. Spend a few moments each day for a week randomly shouting out the good work your team members have done, recognizing them in front of their peers.

Did Jill close 40% of her orders last week? Shout it out! Did Bob just have his highest sales week ever? Shout that out too! Did someone just save an account? Let everyone know. They’ll feel appreciated and will want to do those things again and again.

7. Show & Tell

Some people love sharing how they were able to pull off their recent accomplishments. Invite them to put a 5 to 10 minute slideshow together so they can share it with the team.

Of course, if they’re the shy type they won’t appreciate you showing your appreciation for them by making them do a presentation in front of their peers. In this case, offer to present it for them!

8. Let Peers Praise Peers

Management may sometimes get accused of favoritism for recognizing superstars too much. In addition, we may overlook the superstars who are doing amazing things that are not covered by traditional metrics.

That’s where democracy comes in.

Ask your team to nominate and vote for their most exemplary colleagues. Happster is a workplace app that this feature built right in, and it makes the entire process fun too!

9. Put it in Writing

Do you have a company newsletter? Consider using it to recognize employees, or to show extra appreciation for teams that are working on challenging projects.

If you don’t have a company paper, consider posting to a special section of your company website, social media pages, or the company intranet. If you encounter restrictions to using your digital media for this purposes, pinning pictures and notes to the old fashioned bulletin board will do just fine.

10. Put it in Writing, and Make it Personal

Consider sending paper thank you notes to employees who recently had to work long hours in order to accomplish big things. Put a personalized message in the card and personally sign the card. To make it even more effective, place a stamp on it and snail mail it to their home address!

11. Personalized Pens, Mugs or Shirts

photo via zazzle

Expanding on the personalization theme, if your employees each have a favorite saying, sports team, or other associated characteristic consider memorializing that on a pen, mug or t-shirt.

For example, we know of one person on our team who likes to say, “You better believe it” to requests, as opposed to the traditional, “Yes.” He was thrilled with his “You Better Believe It” t-shirt.

12. Super Relevant Rewards

Did your employee ever tell you they have a cat? A dog? A bird? Then the next time they do something amazing, further personalize your appreciation by handing them a gift card for Petco or your local avian supply. This will send the message that you really do listen to your employees.

Do they love Asian food, Italian food, or have a favorite restaurant? That’s right, you know what to do.

Keep on learning about your employees so you can keep customizing your appreciation.

13. Work Remote Day

via GIPHY

Just about everyone loves a chance to work from home, and there’s no more affordable way to show your appreciation to someone than by allowing them put in the same productive hours in a place they don’t even have to drive to.

An extra day spent with their children or pets could re-energize them for their next day at the office. If they spending so much time with their children or pets turns out to be stressful, it will renew their appreciation for coming to the office. Either way it’s a win!

14. The Big Boss’s Office for a Day

We all love to sit in the boss’s seat, especially when we can look the part without any of the responsibilities. This is a fun way to show appreciation while perhaps planting a seed in the lucky employee’s psyche to aspire for higher.

15. Fitbit to be King

Your benefits manager or health insurance company may be able to get a hold of some Fitbits or other health promoting device that will work with your employees’ existing smart devices. This will track their number of steps, heart rate, etc. and let them know when they are doing well.

This may encourage your employees to get adequate exercise (especially after sitting in the boss’s seat all day) and therefore increase their energy levels. Then you’ll be appreciating them even further with some of the other items on this list for their improved efficiency.

16. Surprise Day Off

via GIPHY

Imagine walking into work one day only to find out that you didn’t have to.

As soon as you walk into the office you find out that you can walk right out and enjoy the rest of the day. With pay! Use this as a reward for an exceptional accomplishment. And if the employee still wants to work that day, let them use it sometime in the future.

This will encourage peers to work extra hard on their projects too, because they will want to be the next ones having a surprise day off. We wouldn’t recommend this particular expression of appreciation for those who have long commutes to work.

17. ½ Day School Day Work Day

Remember how much you loved a half day in school? And how much your parents hated it because they needed to find a babysitter? Remove that burden by rewarding a half day to a parent on the very same day their child has their half day in school.

More proof that you’ve been listening, and another win for you in the work life balance department!

18. A Massage Monday

You can skip the rest of the Health Fair and just bring in everyone’s favorite part: The Medical Message.

Many massage therapists just starting out in the business will be happy to give you a great deal as long as you let them hand out cards to your employees so they can grow their new business too. A portable massage table will easily fit in any corner of the room. Happiness is bound to ensue. And what better day than a Monday?

19. Dress Down / Dress Up Day

via GIPHY

Does your office typically require business attire? Then have a dress down day!

Jeans, shorts t-shirts–anything goes (within reason, of course). Does your office typically dress casually? Then have a dress up day! Pick a theme or an era (e.g. the 50’s) and ask your staff to recreate the scene. Reward the most authentically dressed according.

Another variation is to have management dress down, while the staff dresses up. The most important thing with this one is to change the dynamic to energize the teams, and to have fun in the process.

20. A Get out of Jail Free Card

Not literally. It’s more of a Get Out of Trouble Free card.

Sometimes your most talented employees are the least punctual, and these creative geniuses could benefit from the stress relief that comes with a free pass the next time they’re running late for work.

Give out a 15-minute late pass with no questions asked (and no warnings written) to express your appreciation, and they will feel it too.

For your chronically early personnel, give them a 15-minute leave early pass so that one day they can start enjoying post-work life just a little sooner than their peers.

You’ll be surprised how many miles they will go with just 15 minutes.

  Go to our website:   www.ncmalliance.com

    20 Employee Appreciation Ideas Your Team Will Love By James Marshall Employee recognition and appreciation has undoubtedly been proven for amazing results for any company willing to take the time to appreciate their employees.

[opepin]

january: week four

23: i felt pretty meh in the morning. i stayed in bed until i had to get up and eat a small breakfast before heading out to get lunch with my fidelity team. i wore my bomber and didn't dress appropriately for the wind and the flurries x__x it was oddly not that cold though. azilah treated me to chicken and rice guys and i got to talk with her, leah, and david during lunch. apparently, vlad got some work and ben was going to be back next week or so. i'm happy that the original team got back together before february (: it was nice to see most of them again. then i told them that i accepted a full-time job offer at tandemseven and then basically said goodbye to them. it was bittersweet to me because i felt like i was letting go of possibly deeper friendships. i'm not one to become bffs with people on the spot so it made me a bit sad. i did get to hug everyone before i dropped off my laptop and badge. the leaving process was super easy. azilah was also surprised when she asked ann about it too. well, i'm no longer a fidelity employee.

i walked over to flour bakery in the cold anyway because i really wanted chocolate cake. i got their vegan chocolate muffin and their triple layered mousse. i saved the latter to eat with kevin when he got back home. the muffin was so good <3 i would definitely get it again. i stayed longer than i thought i would and bought a large white peony tea. i just sat in front of the window listening to music and chilling for an hour or so. i commuted back and had a list of errands to do before the day was over. i responded to tandemseven's office manager (i accepted the job offer in the morning!) and then i set up our awesome new ring floor light. i love it. then i did my daily things and then did cardio. kevin got back late, which irked me a bit and then he cooked while i finished exercising and showering. we watched supernatural together while eating a late af dinner and then we brushed together and went to sleep together before 1:30 am. tomorrow is my first day of work @_@; i kind of wish it wasn't because the weather is going to be wet and windy...

24: the rain and wind basically spat on me when i walked to work in the morning. i do miss running out of south station and into the fidelity building, but i like walking...not in this weather though...haha. i got a bit lost too, but i got there in time. everyone is super nice and yeah. i literally started working right when i got there. well, i got a tour from noelle, our office manager, tried to get my badge (will need to get it tomorrow), and then i got a  side project to do. i worked on a think pad for a bit until my stuff came in. omg, it was like christmas. sam, one of our IT guys, came into the office with apple bags full of NEW products for me. i got a new 15" macbook pro retina, 9.7" ipad with a case, magic mouse, magic keyboard, t7 swag: battery pack with charging adapters, notepad, pen, and lanyard, and a ton of adapters for my laptop. i also have my own office space with a 27" apple monitor. it was really overwhelming and i was giggling on the inside when i got all of these things. the best part was the t7 swag from noelle and that i got everything before 12 pm on my first day. yo, this company has their shit together LOL. i accepted the offer monday and i was in the office a day later. it's crazy! i love it.

it took me a while to clean up my area and move all the pc stuff around. then i ate lunch in the business cafe room. it's not as nice as fidelity's but it's cozy and nice. i'll need to bring my own tea, but i'm not really bothered. i got to connect with some of the dev team and they're soo nice. oh, when people came into the office, i got some hello's and introductions every now and then. i don't know everyone's names but i hope i will x__x; i finished my lunch alone because i took a pretty late lunch and then i went back and got into real work for the rest of the day. i had a meeting with phil and dave, who guided me through the start of a project, a team meeting, and then reconnected with phil to continue my walkthrough. our internet died for a bit and i took this chance to finish some employee paperwork and stuff. it was a busy but fulfilling day. i was one of the last to leave and i got to talk with dave and frank. i'm really happy here. dave gifted me a book about journey mapping and organizing user research for my first day of working there. i have no words. this is possibly the best first day of work i've ever had. actually, it is the best first day of work i've ever had.

i met kevin at south station to go home. we talked about our days and then talked when we got back home. he told me to tell him how i feel more often. it's true. i should. he is only a simple bear LOL. <3 i'm so grateful for having someone so caring and understanding by my side. often times i think he's going to give up on me but when i finally do talk to him, he never wavers...what a rock...what a brick wall, haha. i'm thankful for him. we played with my new apple products and we made omurice for dinner. we ate while watching supernatural and then i went to exercise while he showered and played some skyrim. i caught up some daily things and then showered, packed things for my desk, drank some tea while updating my job status, and tried reading the book before going to sleep. p.s. my tumblr is still deactivated.

25: lol the entire dev team was gone today. it was just me, dave, frank, and the marketing/sales team. i watched more videos in the morning and kept dozing. it's the videos and kinda my lack of sleep. i went from 9 hours to 6 hours. x__x i wasn't ready for the first day (it was sprung on me a bit), but i was excited to go anyway! i brought in my own cup, tea, notebook, and rock friend for my desk :3 i'm so happy to have one of my own! the rest of the afternoon was dedicated to learning more about ux360 with hands on practice. it's really fun. i love that i'm learning how to use a new software while having some knowledge of visual and ui design too so that i can make the best journey map layouts for our clients~ i took the project for myself in the last couple hours of work and it turned out alright. i think i need to show more initiative and just go with my gut. i'm scared of messing up our progress and not being able to undo it haha. my work schedule so far is 9 am to 5:15 pm. it's not bad because i get to go home with kevin (: i work a bit later because phil is in california. kevin went climbing today so i went home in a packed af train cart. i almost missed it too haha.

oh, my earrings slid down the sink drain this morning...i woke up kevin but didn't stress about it too much after sending an emergency email and a maintenance request to help get it out. kevin woke up early just for me hahahaha. awww. he went back to sleep after ofc. the maintenance guy, josh, got it out for me T^T i'm so thankful. so when i got back home, i cleaned it and moved my jewelry sack to the closet so it'll never happen again. i remember why i kept my jewelry on my desk instead of the bathroom for a while... i also separated my chicago keys from my keys here because i don't want to carry all of that. then i watched the latest episodes of 'jane the virgin' while prepping pork katsu. it took longer than expected, but i did it and then kevin came back and cooked while i washed dishes. we got our air mattress in and we tested it out! air mattresses are so cool! we ate dinner while watching supernatural and then kevin washed the dishes while i deflated the mattress, packed it up, and then i went to shower and wash my hair (finally). i forgot when was the last time i washed my hair. i really dislike my hair right now btw. i've just been using dry shampoo because i feel like it's always oily T_T or just heavy and my part wants to be in the middle again. bleh. i did some cardio after showering because i wanted to move at least a little before the day was over. i watched some youtube videos before hitting the sack at 1 am. my tumblr is STILL deactivated... 

26: i tried getting on a later train today and i got to work like 15 minutes late T__T i mean, it would be on time for me technically, but i felt bad. i got my badge today but they misspelled my name so i went back later and asked if i could replace it. so i'll be getting my badge probably next week. i spent a lot of time walking in and out of the office today because of that and just using the bathroom. i had to pee a lot o__O haah. i got on a call on noon and then had lunch late so when i got back, it was already time for our standup meeting. that lasted longer than expected but after, i had a lot of work to do. i made adjustments and then did bigger edits. i left work at 5:30 pm LOL. i made it up anyway. :x there was something i wanted to finish but it was late so i left, but when i got home, i did it! yay! i actually got to south station before kevin did and he had to run to south station to catch the train. gg him. we watched supernatural while we waited for our rice to cook and then caught up on pokemon sun and moon episodes too. then he went to wash the dishes and game while i kicked my own ass while exercising. i did chloe ting's hiit workout and her leg and butt video and i nearly died. i also fit in some hip hop cardio. after, i did some daily things and showered and went to sleep. i didn't doze off quite as much today! i also got to organize my space better. i moved all of my apple boxes into the unused drawer next to me lol. it's been a tiring, but good week. tomorrow will be my 4th day of work and first week!

27: the office was empty except for me, dave, and jim, which is basically the product team here in boston, lol. i got on a train at 8:30 am and made it to work at a reasonable time. i also got my badge with my name spelled correctly. what a good morning! jim and i were the first ones at the office and we realized that we needed keys to open the door. the front had keys and dave told us that they're on order and we'll get ours next week. umm, it was a pretty busy friday! in the morning, i joined dave and jim for a ux360 demo so i could get more acquainted with the product. jim and i got our iphones today. omg it came in a new box and it was glorious when i got it. then i had to do a few fixes to the project i'm working on before a trial with another client with phil. after the call, phil pointed out a few things that needed fixing or addressing so i did that and ended up not eating until 2 pm LOL. i was really into it. we didn't have our standup today but i remained busy after lunch. we found a kind of big problem and i tried solving it with photoshop instead of working around the product limitations and i failed haha. it's okay though because apparently, it's being addressed and hopefully, it will be changed by next week. after fixing everything up, i exported them into pdfs and sent them into phil. i really like my job. it's pretty challenging and i love being busy. i got out of the office at 5 pm just before jim left and locked the office.

i took the train home and then spent time personalizing my iphone and ipad and macbook for work. i know it's for work, but this laptop isn't like fidelity's contractor laptop -- i can download whatever and it's meant to be used lovingly. i'm a little bit uncomfortable putting some apps and using messengers and stuff on them but i downloaded them anyway just in case i get comfortable? haha. i had some youtube videos going on in the background. kevin went climbing and came back and showered. it was already 8:30 pm by the time he started cooking?! we also found out that the tofu is supposed to be marinaded too T__T so i got a little hangry. i was still really out of it -- i think it was because of the challenges i faced at work, so my head felt funny. i'm tired. LOL. i stayed up watching some youtube videos and eventually fell asleep after showering at like 2:30 am?

28: i woke up in time to pick up vivian from the train station! well, i woke up just in time to miss the train to get vivian T_T so she had to train to deco alone. i went back to the apartment after calling her and then i made rice and ate some cereal. then i went to cuddle with kevin some more and talk. woo! vivian just knocked on our door and we had a "bum" day. all of us ate lunch together and then vivian and i just caught up and talked. whenever i see her, it's super chill and we never have to do anything in particular together. so we talked, watched youtube videos, etc. then vivian cut my hair! omg i was not prepared. i had to cut up one of our nice febreeze-scented garbage bags and then i use one of our blanket sheets for the floor because i didn't want to use another bag. the deco girls didn't have anything i could use :( so then we watched hip hop cardio videos while vivian cut my hair. she's really good at it! there was so much hair left afterwards. i really like my haircut (((: she thinned it out nicely and cut it to the length i wanted. kevin went climbing during this so he came back to a bunch of hair and our "salon" hahaha. vivian curled my hair and completed the salon appointment ;D then she got super hungry and we spent a good amount of time figuring out what to eat.

i washed dishes and cleaned the area and then we all settled on picking up food from 'fat cat' and getting bubble tea from a place nearby called, 'oh my tea.'vivian drove bb and we got bubble tea first. i'm in love with this bubble tea shop. i got a honey green tea with boba and the boba is the best i've ever had. the drink was just right in sugar level too. vivian enjoyed her hot red bean matcha as well. i actually bought another drink along with kevin's taro milk tea. i got the 3-bubble milk tea with pudding and grass jelly. again, it was delicious. the pudding was so yummy at the end! i'm definitely coming back again! interestingly, this lady wanted our spot and boxed us in our parking spot -__-" she was cray. i told her we were leaving and she just stayed there? and then another car came and they kind of fought over the spot? i have no idea. vivian got us out though. then we drove a block down to pick up the food and it smelled so good. we drove back and maxed out on our food.

vivian got the red sauce seafood pasta and kevin got he lobster mac and cheese and i got the turkey blta. vivian says this pasta is the best pasta she's ever had! woot! she also liked kevin's mac and cheese. kevin tried eating all of it but failed and ended up overeating. vivian also really liked the fries, which i ate and only took like two bites of my turkey blta. ahha. everything tasted amazing. apparently, the fat cat and hakata ramen have really good ratings on grubhub and that's where we usually order from in quincy. anyway, we ate and then talked and watched more videos haha. we went to work out at 9:30 pm and someone was in there but he was finishing up. i felt bad like we were kicking him out T__T but vivian was so excited to do hip hop cardio with me! i don't know how long we spent, but we had so much fun and we just kept going. i killed vivian ahahaha. we recorded ourselves for jackson and then we called it quits maybe after one or two hours. x__x 

when we looked back on the recording, we realized we looked bad and couldn't screenshot any so we went back to the yoga studio and recorded ourselves doing one more song and then "staged" some photos. they came out ridiculous. then vivian wanted to do the couple's yoga challenge and we did that. it was LOL and i'm not flexible and we kept pulling things in our body. we did that for like another hour or so. we were in the yoga studio until 1 am or something ridiculous.we got back, vivian showered, and went to sleep. i showered and washed my hair and then dried it and got into bed too. i think it was like 2 am when all of us ko'd. zzzz. it was such a great day. also, it was lunar new year! happy lunar new year! i cut and washed my hair today (not supposed to if you are superstitious), but i look fab and feel really happy thanks to my lo gong <3

29: vivian knocked on our bedroom door and called my name and i woke up instantly. it was 7:30 am and she had to leave for her flight to georgia. she was going to stay with das and dami for her interview! hehe. i hugged her goodbye and she gave me a kiss on the cheek. hehe i love spending time with her. she's the best <333 i'll see her again soon enough. it never feels like a long time apart; especially, now because i've seen her so many more times ever since i moved to boston. (: it makes me happy. she left and then i went back to sleep. i woke up at around 10 am and then stayed in bed until 11 am. i emailed tumblr again in a panic because it's been 10 days since i emailed them about my account. i don't know why they aren't responding... kevin and i had leftovers for our first meal of the day and watched 2 episodes of supernatural. in between episodes we took a break so i could watch jenn im's proposal video and i was bawling. it was so beautiful. i walked into the bedroom and kevin asked me if i was sick and realized that i was crying because of the video and poked fun at me. LOL. 

then we cleaned up and meal prepped for this week. i spent some time organizing bookmarks and just downloading all the apps i use on my personal phone to my work phone. i think i'm going to use my work phone monday through friday for everything, and my personal phone on the weekends for everything. i'm going to carry both to work but only have my work phone out and check my personal one every so often. kevin and i went to kam man and bj's. it was a pretty quick trip. we stopped by 'oh my tea' to get bubble tea because i really wanted some :P i got the passionfruit green tea and he got the lychee green tea. both were delicious. the cashier remembered me and i told her that i really like this place i wanted more hahaha. we got back to the apartment and kevin sorted out a garbage situation with deco (the trash chute was jammed) while i organized our jacket closet and switched out the hangers with our new black hangers so that everything was uniform. we ordered 50 hangers because we needed more and the 50-pack was the cheapest. then i monitored kevin's vacuuming and swiffering while i dusted and made a pile of things to bring to the storage room. then i started laundry and put away the dishes and moved the stuff to the storage room. 

i took a break to set up imessage on my work devices and to download all the apps i need for my ipad and iphone. kevin cooked stir fried noodles for dinner while i cleaned the bathroom and some of the kitchen area. then i dealt with some tax things and budgeting. i paid off $3k more of my student loans. i'm getting there slowly but surely! i also got to video chat with das and vivian a bit. haha they're both so cute. dami said hello too and complimented my hair teehee. i look like a beauty thanks to vivian's hair cutting skillz. kevin and i ate dinner while watching supernatural. we're on season 11 now and the premise of the season is kinda ridiculous. then kevin went to wash the dishes, i folded laundry, and then i cleaned the rest of the kitchen and washed a few leftover dishes. then i found three shirts that i wanted to iron (finally using the board and the iron we bought on amazon) and did just that. the shirt i really wanted to iron had twisted af sleeves T_T i got some of it out but the vertical wrinkles are still there. i gotta work on that. it got pretty late pretty early in my mind so then i showered and went to sleep. i felt bad for not working out but i was also a bit sore from working out with vivian yesterday. i should have done another short exercise session today but chores and errands take priority. oh well, tomorrow is the start of a new week and more time for me to get fit (: