#ALSO SHOUTOUT TO HER FOR THE BELLA BEING THE INSPIRATION BEHIND DARK THI G TOO

[sweetnestor]

You Look Happier | Chapter 10

university au, teamiplier + jack

platonic/romance/angst/(smut at one point but it’ll only be on ao3) <– if ya wanna read the smut</i>

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The ringing noise was hauntingly familiar. The strobe and 3D effects sent chills down my spine. The shakiness of the camera made my head spin. The words he was saying was the cherry on top of this unsettling experience.

“…and now I can take you where you’d like to go… I can especially take you places you don’t want to go…”

“Jesus Christ,” I said when the scene changed to something more lighthearted.

“Is that what it feels like?” asked Mark, who was sitting in the car with me.

“Spot on,” I mumbled before playing the next video.

I ended up being stuck with Darkiplier for the rest of time. Go figure.

“I’m… impressed,” I told him after some silence.

“Yeah? You liked it?” Mark hopefully asked.

I nodded, feeling a bit mind blown at the whole thing. “I’m sorry I was so salty about it. You guys did a really good job.”

“Thank you. I wanted to do something like this for a long time, but I never had the funds or even a team to help. I’m really, really proud of the whole thing, and I’m glad you liked it. If we do anything like this again, I’d like for you to be apart of it. You could really contribute to the egos. You could even be apart of the team.”

Me? Being one of them? How would the fans take that? How could I work around my ex, my ex’s girlfriend, and my current boyfriend?

“Maybe,” I said.

Mark smiled. The moment was nice until he put his hands on the steering wheel. Then I remembered why we were in his car, and my stomach sank.

“You ready?” he asked, turning the engine over.

I placed my hands on the dash and inhaled deeply. “Go.”

He pulled out of the space in the YTU parking lot, and my breathing staggered. It could have been worse though, because Mark was the only person I have let drive before. I knew the feeling already, I just had to grow accustomed to it again, since he and I would be taking turns driving on the Grand Canyon trip.

I jumped every time he hit the brakes or turned a corner. To make things easy, Mark drove around the perimeter of the campus, keeping his speed at 15 miles or under. But the small traffic jams we got into didn’t ease my nerves.

“You okay?” he asked, glancing over at me.

“Mhm,” I strained out, trying to focus on the road ahead.

“Okay, we’re almost done. Focus on your breathing.”

That brought back a small flashback. Two years ago, exact same location. For once, it wasn’t painful to think about. The only thing that was painful was my chest from the distress of not driving.

He went back to the spot he had originally parked. Once the car was stationary again, I was able to physically relax. I sighed as I sat back in my seat.

“Think you can handle eight hours of that?” he asked me.

“We’ll find out when we get there,” I replied.

We got out of the car, into the cool afternoon air. I was coming back down from the anxiety a little quicker than normal. A few months ago, I wouldn’t have been able to do this, so I guess that was some improvement.

“What are your plans for the rest of the day?” Mark inquired as we walked towards the main office.

Valentine’s date with my boyfriend. I couldn’t really say that, though. But I couldn’t lie, either.

“Class,” I replied. That was true.

Mark chuckled. “No dates? Are you even dating again?”

Fuck.

“Eh, whatever happens,” I said with a shrug.

He opened the door for me, and I tried to hide the red on my cheeks by flipping my hair to one side and letting it fall over part of my face. What if he knew and he was just testing me?

“Not even today?” he pressed. “The day of all days? The day dedicated to love and dating?”

I scoffed. “I was never crazy about Valentine’s Day.”

“That’s true.” He paused as he walked in step next to me. “So… you and Jack definitely aren’t dating?”

Should have seen that coming. Did I really have that much chemistry with the loud green man?

“We’re besties and nothing more,” I confirmed.

Now if you ask about your blue haired editor, that would be another story.

~

That evening, Ethan and I didn’t have a car date. Instead, we went to the beach at sunset. I know, how cliche and disgusting, right? But it’s Valentine’s Day, and it was his idea, so it had to happen.

“Wait, stay right there,” Ethan said as he let go of my hand.

I did what I was told, despite being a little thrown off by his request. Ethan took out his phone and began taking out pictures. I turned my head away instinctively; I didn’t want to tell him to stop but I couldn’t help but feel insecure. My hair was all over the place because of the breeze, and my makeup was getting cakey from wearing it all day.

“Here, look,” he said as he approached me again. He swiped through the photos he took, all you could see was my silhouette and the orange sun setting in the background.

“Very Instagrammy,” I told him, feeling a little better. “Now let’s take a selfie.”

We faced the sunset for some light. It was more intense than anticipated, so we both ended up squinting for the picture, making exaggerated expressions. When we tried to take a decent picture, all I could do was just shut my eyes and hold up a peace sign.

“Perfect,” Ethan said when he was looking back at the photos. “I love that we made the same face.”

I smiled and rested my chin on his shoulder. Then I threw my arms around his middle, giving him a side hug. I didn’t think I would get a decent Valentine’s Day ever again. I didn’t think I would date again.

Ethan put his phone back in his pocket and then put his arm around me. “So I got you something.”

My heart jumped and my smile wouldn’t falter. “You didn’t have to!”

“I wanted to! Here-” He reached into his pocket with his free hand and pulled out a small figurine. “We spend a lot of time in your car, and I wanted to give you something that would, uh… it’s just… a thing for when I’m not there… you’ll, uh, remember me.”

He opened his hand, revealing a little plastic hula girl. A small thing that held so much meaning.

“Aw, I love her!” I cooed, scooping up the item. “That’s so sweet!”

“You really like it?”

“Of course I do!” I told him as I got on my toes and hugged him properly. When I let go, I took his hand. “Let’s go put her in my car! And I can give you your gift!”

I pulled his arm and we practically ran up to the parking lot. I unlocked the doors and we climbed inside. Then, I placed the little hula girl on the center of the dash, watching her shake from the motion.

“Look at her, she’s beautiful,” I mused before looking at Ethan.

I couldn’t help but stroke his cheek. He grinned at the gesture.

“I still can’t believe you’re my girlfriend,” he said softly. “It’s been… how long?”

“In six days, it’ll be one month,” I reminded him. Then, I leaned in to kiss him. It was sweet and chaste, but I cut it short. “Time for your gift. Get in the backseat.”

His eyes widened. “Where is this going?”

I hesitated and then nodded to the back, where my guitar was sat across the seat. “I’ve never sang to anyone, so…”

“Aw, Bella!”

“Okay, okay! Let’s go!”

We moved, being careful not to fall onto my guitar. Once we were settled, the nerves hit me like a bus. I held the instrument, but my torso began to tremble. Naturally, I began to stall.

“I don’t really have words to express anything I feel for you,” I told him. “So this is by no means an original song… i-it’s a One Direction song. And it made me think of you.”

He nodded and waited, a small smile on his face.

“Okay.” I took a deep breath and began strumming the soft tune.

“I wanna write you a song

One as beautiful as you are sweet

With just a hint of pain for the feeling that I get

When you are gone

I wanna write you a song”

It wasn’t the bad kind of nerves this time. I could tell, because the impending doom wasn’t present. It also got easier to steady my voice as I continued the song. However, I could not look at Ethan’s face.

“Ooo, everything I need I get from you

Ooo, giving back is all I wanna do”

My fingers were steady, despite the combination of nerves and my rusty guitar skills. I would rather crap myself while singing than to come up with my own words of affection.

“I wanna write you a song

Want to make your heart remember me

So anytime I’m gone, you can listen to my voice

And sing along

I wanna write you a song”

I strummed the last few chords and looked down at the space between us. The body shakes had returned, and it was a little harder to hid this time.

“Bella…” Ethan said affectionately. “Babe…”

He scooted closer to me and gently pried the guitar from my grasp. After putting it behind him against the door, he moved even closer to me and held me in his arms. Without even thinking about it, I hugged him around his waist and rested my cheek on his shoulder. I was trying very hard not to cry.

“Thank you so much,” he told me. “That was so nice, you’re so talented… are you shaking?”

I pulled back, blushing. “Nervous tick.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. It’s nothing, it happens. I was nervous about this thing. I’ve never sang to anyone before.”

“Well, it was perfect. You’re really, really talented,” he said as he cupped my cheek. Then he pushed a strand of hair behind my ear. “Your hair’s getting curly.”

My smile fell. “What? Oh god, it was the beach.” I hastily pushed my long hair behind me and put it in a ponytail.

“It looks good, though,” Ethan reassured, sounding amused.

“There’s a reason why I straighten and curl it,” I replied, tightening the tail and letting it fall behind me. “Natural hair ain’t pretty.”

“You’re pretty no matter what.”

I wanted to roll my eyes and say something witty in return, but he had cupped my cheek again and started to lean in. I decided to shut up and let him kiss me.

It was easier than last time. The butterflies were there, and my head was spinning. But it was comfortable, and I liked it.

He slowly let his hand fall to my neck, like he was hesitating. I responded to that touch by running my hand down his jacket collar and giving a small tug. That made us migrate even closer to each other. Then he slid his down to my waist. We were fitting together like two puzzle pieces.

At one point, we pulled apart, but there was still minimal space between us. I didn’t want to stop, though; I kept looking down at his lips, trying to bring him close again. Ethan did lean in again after a breath or two, but he was using his whole body this time, and his hand went down to my thigh. My heart pounded as I leaned back against the door, pulling Ethan by his collar, and lifting my leg so it touch his hip. Then, I tried shifting so I could outstretch my other leg, but I accidentally kicked my guitar, which made a loud bang!

We both jumped at the loud noise. That was the slap I needed to remember where exactly I was. Car. Public place. A constant state of anxiety.

“Forgot that was there,” Ethan said with a small laugh.

“Yeah,” I breathed out, trying to come down from the bad adrenaline. “Leave it to me to scare the crap out of myself.”

“Are you okay?”

I nodded, and then sat up. “I can’t do this here. I can’t relax.”

“How come?”

I shrugged, looking around through the windows. “Too public. Too much commotion. What if we’re being watched?”

“Okay, let’s go somewhere else, then,” Ethan said.

“Is that okay, though? I’m sorry, I didn’t want to ruin the moment.”

“It’s totally okay, don’t worry,” he reassured. “We can go to my place! Or… no, we can’t. I live with Tyler, he doesn’t know about us.”

“We can go to mine?”

He nodded and the silence that dawned between us made my nerves do many things.

_______

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