#ALTAIR CANNOT HANDLE EMOTIONS

[liviethewriter]

Light || Altaïr x Reader

Fandom: Assassin’s Creed Type: Oneshot Requester: None Warnings: Fluff, Minor Violence, Minor Swearing Note: Look. I’m gonna say it. I would PAY to see Altaïr blushing. His grin gives me nightmares, but a little smile would be accepted. (Seriously, don’t look it up unless you want to be mortified.) Anywho, the Assassin’s Creed franchise is not mine, and rights to it go to Ubisoft. You are your own person. The only thing that is mine is the fan fiction itself. Enjoy! -Livie

Altaïr grit his teeth in frustration. The usually stoic, calm Assassin would not get this jealous, this frustrated, this angered, if there weren’t something terribly wrong. Which, there was. 

It was a peaceful morning in Masyaf, the fortress alive and practically teeming with life. Birds roosted over their eggs, in their hidden nests among the battlements of Masyaf Castle. Guards walked the walls, their piercing gazes watching the mountains around them. Novices trained in the courtyard below, their superiors either watching them or helping them brush up on their skills.

Except for one. Altaïr looked sour as he watched a certain figure teaching a few novices how to properly slash at a target without completely exposing your weak points. She was awe-strikingly beautiful with bright eyes and hair that had been pulled back into a loose ponytail. Her hood was down, showing off her adorable features. 

Yes, he secretly had a fondness for Y/N. How could he not? She was perfect in his eyes, with her smiles and soothing voice. Of course, he didn’t dare voice his liking of her, feeling that it was inviting weakness. But the way that one damned novice stared at her oh-so-lovingly…

It made Altaïr’s blood boil. 

As Y/N watched the novices begin training together, she stole a glance towards Altaïr and flinched to find him glaring at her with all the hatred of the world… or so it seemed. Unsettled and a little nervous, she looked back to her novices. She’d been born into the brotherhood and had initially been taught to act like a boy so she wouldn’t be removed from the safety of the ranks of the Assassins. But when some of the Assassins discovered her secret when she was a teen, she’d been terrified that they would kill her. Instead, she’d been allowed to stay and help out their cause, as she’d proven herself beforehand that she was an irreplaceable member.

Altaïr grew even angrier - at himself because he didn’t have the family jewels to go confess his liking of Y/N - as the novice that had been giving Y/N goo-goo eyes approached her, looking hopeful. 

“Y/N, will you train with me, please?” The novice smiled up at her hopefully. Many of the novices knew to simply call Y/N by her first name as they knew she disliked being called a title of any sort. 

Y/N smiled at the novice. “Of course, Roei. I don’t mind.”

Altaïr closed his eyes, willing away any unwanted images with gritted teeth. “You look pissed, novice.” 

Altaïr’s eyes flicked open, and he looked at Malik who had come to Masyaf for a meeting with Al Mualim. A hard look was on the one-armed man, his brows furrowed and his lips pressed tightly together. But there was a look in his eyes that questioned something. “Care to explain?” Malik asked and arched a brow.

Altaïr looked away, back at Y/N who was skillfully slashing and stabbing. “Her,” he answered simply, his voice tight. He knew that if he said anything more, he’d end up ranting and rambling.

But of course, Malik just had to say, “That’s not really explaining, Altaïr.” 

The Assassin turned on his toe, grabbing Malik and pulling him into the castle and into a quiet, private room. It wasn’t until Malik shut the door that Altaïr began his rant. “Y/N! She vexes me with her very existence. I find her incredibly attractive and adorable, but what the hell am I supposed to do about it, Malik? Every other Assassin in the Brotherhood finds her beautiful as I do, but there’s a novice out there who’s got more balls than me and is probably asking her out on a date right now!”

Malik watched as the frustrated Altaïr kicked a stone column as hard he could, his anger numbing the pain of his toes that would probably be bruised tomorrow morning. After the enraged man let off some of his steam, Malik calmly said, “Tell her how you feel, Altaïr. But don’t make it sound stereotypical or needy. Make it sound like there’s actual emotion there, whether it be passionate or gentle. Bring her some flowers or kiss her cheek. Be yourself.” 

Altaïr looked at Malik, arching a brow. “Why do I get the feeling that you’ve done something like this before?” 

“Because I have,” Malik answered bluntly, rolling his eyes. “Take her to the garden behind the castle if you must. I need to get back to Jerusalem, now. Good luck.” 

And with that, Malik left, muttering a ‘safety and peace, novice’ as he departed. Altaïr considered Malik’s words, his golden irises looking at his hands. Trying to put the flirtatious novice out of his mind, he sighed. 

Squaring his shoulders, he left the castle and went out to the courtyard, beginning to formulate his little plans to ask Y/N out. The two of them had been friends since childhood, and it perplexed a lot of people how a cold man such as Altaïr could be friends with her, a kind and sweet individual. 

Roei was getting better by the second as he crossed swords with Y/N once again. He was grinning mischievously. He intended to get close to her and plant a kiss on her slightly-chapped warm lips, a perfect ‘stolen kiss’ move. He was beginning to get closer to her when he noticed Altaïr watching. The novice smirked. Perhaps he could mark Y/N as off-limits…

The other novices in Y/N’s group laughed as Y/N knocked Roei back onto his bottom. Altaïr smiled a little, a spark of satisfaction igniting in his eyes. Y/N cocked her brow at Roei, saying, “Either you focus, or you can get back to training with the others.”

Roei swallowed hard but nodded. He got to his feet, getting into a defensive position. Y/N seemed to be sizing him up when she heard approaching footsteps. She looked to her left and grinned, seeing Altaïr approaching. His hood was up, the shadows hiding the slight anxiety in his eyes. 

“Hey, Altaïr!” Y/N greeted him cheerfully. But that cheerfulness quickly turned to visible confusion when Altaïr didn’t stop walking towards her. 

The Assassin stopped awfully close to Y/N, leaning down a little. He made sure his lips brushed her cheek as he said quietly, “Meet me at my room at sunset, Y/N. I’ll be waiting.” 

Y/N looked up at Altaïr, her eyes wide. Her face had flushed into a light pink. But she smiled a little, nodding. “Okay,” she replied.. 

Roei felt a dark emotion rear its head in his chest. He growled lowly, letting his heart get the better of him. As Altaïr began to walk away, the novice grabbed his sleeve. The older man turned to look at Roei, unspoken words on his tongue. 

The other novices looked at Roei and Altaïr with wide eyes, hearing the hard thunk of a fist colliding with a face. Y/N gasped as Altaïr glowered at Roei, his golden irises sharp. His cheek was beginning to purple from the punch Roei had delivered to Altaïr’s face. 

Before she knew it, Y/N was then trying to pull Altaïr away from the potential fight. She had an arm around his torso, tugging a little. “Altaïr. Altaïr, look at me,” she said frantically with wide eyes. 

Altaïr was tensing up, ready to take a swig at the novice when Y/N forced herself between the two. Her hands were flat on Altaïr’s clothed chest, pushing him back lightly, while she urged him to look at her. The other novices moved to grab Roei and pull him back, knowing he too was about to start swinging. 

Altaïr hadn’t broken eye contact with Roei, about to lunge at him. But the feeling of two calloused palms on his face snapped him out of it. He looked down to see Y/N caressing his face and making him look at her. “Calm down, Altaïr. Calm down,” Y/N said quietly, her voice having a little waver in it. 

Altaïr’s gaze softened a little, and his body relaxed ever so slightly. He swallowed hard, reaching up and putting a hand over her own hand. Y/N looked pleased with this gesture. Her beautiful irises were gleaming in the afternoon light. Altaïr felt breathless at the sight. He turned his head, pressing a gentle kiss to Y/N’s palm. 

A faint pink tint dusted Y/N’s face but her smile only grew. She looked back, hearing Roei snap, “Get away from her, jackass.” 

Roei was being held back by a few other novices, the two that were on the sidelines silently urging Altaïr and Y/N to go back inside the castle. Altaïr looked at Y/N, saying, “Actually, on second thought, go on up to my room. I’ll be there shortly.” 

Y/N frowned, worried now. But she nodded. “Alright. Novices, you can continue training with each other or go on inside for some rest and water,” she said, looking at her novices. 

They nodded, murmuring a ‘yes, Y/N’. Y/N looked at Altaïr and said, “Don’t do anything stupid, okay?”

Altaïr dipped his head in acknowledgment, watching as Y/N threw him one last weak smile before beginning to leave the courtyard. She was anxious as she went inside and walked up to Altaïr’s room, passing through a few corridors on the way. Eventually, she found it and sat next to the door. 

Y/N was wringing her wrists, her brows furrowed and her heart pounding loudly. She knew Altaïr had feelings for her, but she didn’t know if they were lust feelings or love feelings. So, she decided to let Altaïr make the first move. She was fairly certain they were lust feelings from the way he wanted to see her at his room instead of just pulling her off to the side. 

She was about to get up and leave so that she could avoid being used as a toy of sorts. But echoing footsteps gave her pause. She looked down the hall and stood up, seeing Altaïr. His cheek really was bruised up from where Roei had punched him. However, despite the bruise, Altaïr was smiling ever so slightly in satisfaction. 

Y/N frowned at him, her eyes searching his. Altaïr quickly recognized that she was trying to understand why he asked her here. “Look, Y/N… Hear me out, will you?” 

Y/N was hesitant but bit her lip and nodded. She’d known Altaïr for years. That was reason enough to give him a chance. 

The man in question sighed softly in relief. “Look, Y/N, I’ve loved you for a long time. And, not in the lust way. As in, I love your personality, your smile, your cheerful attitude… I love all of you. And I get jealous whenever you talk to someone who is obviously flirting with you. That’s why I got so pissed at Roei that I worked up the nerve to finally ask you this.” 

Y/N’s eyes were wide as Altaïr pushed his hood down, revealing his short dark brown hair and gleaming golden brown eyes. The scar on his face was prominent, his slightly chapped lips drawn taut and pressed thin. He had a faint bit of stubble coming in, Y/N noticed. But she focused on Altaïr’s words as he said, “Will you be mine, Y/N?” 

Though he hid it well, Y/N knew he was scared. She knew he’d never admit it either. But she could tell his emotions from simply looking at his body language and hearing his voice. 

Altaïr froze, seeing Y/N reach up. Her fingertips gently traced his scar. She was nervous, too. But her breath hitched when her thumb brushed his lips, her eyes on his mouth. Altaïr nearly felt his heart stop but didn’t move. Anyone else would’ve been punched right in the mouth, but Y/N was a different case altogether. 

Y/N looked up at Altaïr before her hand slid up to caress the side of his face. The slightest tug was all the encouragement Altaïr needed. Y/N pulled him down gently, pressing her lips to Altaïr’s softly. Y/N’s cheeks were flushed pink, and she wasn’t the only one flustered. Her eyes were closed and she was missing something incredibly precious. Altaïr had the faintest tint of pink on his face, something that was almost as elusive as Malik’s soft side. 

One soft, gentle kiss turned into two, then three, and more kisses that were quickly becoming needier and fervent. Until Altaïr reached up, gripping Y/N’s hips in a vice-like grip, pushing her against the wall. Y/N broke the umpteenth kiss, her lips slightly swollen from the amount of contact they were getting. 

Altaïr’s breathing was off and shaky, but it was welcome. He reached up, brushing some hair away from her face. Y/N grinned up at Altaïr as he said with a small smirk, “I’m assuming that was a yes.” 

It was more of a statement than a question. Y/N’s grin died down a little as Altaïr kissed her again. He pulled her into his arms, a crack of an affectionate simper breaking onto his face at the feeling of her face being nestled into the crook of his neck. She’d put her arms around him, feeling safe in his arms. 

Altaïr closed his eyes. He decided right there and then that he never wanted to be alone again. He didn’t want to be without Y/N, the woman he’d loved dearly. She was his light. And his alone.

[distinguished-slacker]

Anyone else wondering how does this girl’s demon look like?

And I think my popcorn has gone bad...

But seriously it pisses me off that when she had a chapter dedicated to her (chapter 45 when she almost sacrificed herself to allow the others run away from Crowley and chapter 70 when Aoi confronted her) Yuu had to butt in with his ‘family’ bullshit and steal the spotlight away from her. I am so upset like...Kagami you might love Yuu or whatever but let other characters have their own development away from him...especially the girls🤦‍♀️

And for those who loooove long posts and are somehow interested on unpopular characters like me I’ve got some cheap observations, complaining and theorising...

She is so pretty I am crying

For those who don’t know or forgot about it (I cannot blame you though), the name of Sangū Mitsuba’s demon is Tenjiryū. Their name literally translates to ‘Heavenly-Shaped Dragon’ or ‘Heaven-Shaped Dragon’ and let me get straight to the point; guys it sounds more badass than any of the other demons’ names we have! I find curious the choice of “Heaven” though since it doesn’t fit a demon🤔 Moreover, the demon of Mitsuba’s older sister, Sangū Aoi, is called Chijiryū, which translates to ‘Earth-shaped Dragon’ and I find so intriguing that out of all the cursed gears that the Japanese Imperial Demon Army must have in their possession, Mitsuba somehow happened to be compatible with one bearing a similar name to her sister’s demon.

I cannot believe this demon is of a lower series. I mean, it’s HUGE. Befitting of a dragon😤 It’s definitely either the biggest weapon in the whole series or the second biggest. I don’t know about size since Mitsuba’s axe and Shinoa’s scythe are differently shaped but in terms of mass I think the axe is heavier because it looks more compact. Also, my respects for the designer because I have never seen such a uniquely shaped war axe👌

You cannot tell me that Shinoa’s huge scythe bears the first progenitor of the vampire race while Mitsuba’s huge battle axe bears a mediocre demon oh god...

When you have a look at both Tenjiryū and Gekkōin here it’s hard to believe Gekkōin is higher ranked than Tenjiryū.

The gender is unknown although I suspect Tenjiryū is a male by looking at their muscular torso and biceps of their manifestation form. Lol it would be funny if Tenjiryū turns out to be another ripped demon like Gekkoīn because then that would mean we would have another scary demon-cute human pair😅 But I don’t really care about Tenjiryū’s gender or how they look like as long as they are not another androgynous child demon😒

Mitsuba probably has the most aggressive fighting style in this series. For being so small she sure has a lot of physical strength...and she was like this since she was 13 awwww

Tenjiryū’s manifestation into an army of multiple spectral, humanoid beasts (probably dragons) with sharp glowing green blade-like arms and heavenly blue flames is the coolest manifestation I have seen so far in this series.

Tenjiryū has two strengths: one, is that it works in two different ranges, these being close range and mid range, instead of a single range, and two, it is able to be used for both offence and defence.

This manifestation looks so scary in the manga because it reaches so high. As expected of a demon whose name has “Heaven” in their name. In my opinion, Tenjiryū has a scarier manifestation than Shikama Dōji and Gekkōin’s because unlike them, Tenjiryū surrounds the whole area and I am feeling claustrophobic pls.

But I think that the thing I probably love the most about what I’ve seen so far of Tenjiryū is that they fit Mitsuba’s personality. Their style is aggressive like Mitsuba’s personality but if you have a close look most of the times Mitsuba uses Tenjiryū is in order to “protect” or “shield” someone else which fits her caring nature. Especially if you consider that, as explained by Mitsuba herself in chapter 19, manifestation users want to avoid manifesting their demons as much as possible since letting their demons out weakens the host’s body and so leaves them vulnerable to attacks yet Mitsuba is always manifesting Tenjiryū. Such a brave girl🤧

Another thing that I find interesting about Tenjiryū is that all the times Mitsuba commanded them to do something, they always tried to do it which gives me the impression Tenjiryū is quite obedient to Mitsuba. I headcanon that despite the fact that Mitsuba seems emotionally weak, Tenjiryū likes her determination.

However, in the end, looking at Tenjiryū’s name or their manifestation is just something superficial since we don’t know their personality or true potential. So far, Tenjiryū’s manifestation has been used for grabbing something (Mika’s cut arm in chapter 52), as decoys (but are weak individually and they won’t work on progenitors), to protect someone and to slice The Four Horsemen of John from a distance.

Relatively, Tenjiryū is weak but if I remember well, in the fanbook the author said that the rank of the demons is not determined by how strong they are but by how easy they are to handle. Even Kagami went as far as to point out that with demons above the Dōji (or referred as Child too) series there is no clear difference in the strength of the weapons (and this is surprising considering how much the Black Demon rank has been glorified). Tenjiryū’s rank is Dakini, which is just below the Black Demons in the pyramid and above the Doji series. One thing that all Black Demon users have in common is that all of them have been subjected to human experimentation in the past and considering that Mitsuba is human, there is nothing she can do about it. The other requirement for Black Demon users is that they must have a strong willpower and resolution...but this girl has some serious self-esteem issues and indecisiveness behind all that “I am a Sangū/elite!” talk so maybe if she obtains a boost in confidence she will get stronger🤔

However, I don’t really care that much if Mitsuba stays weak forever. This manga doesn’t need anymore INSANE Mary Sues or Gary Stus who get sudden power ups just because they are genetically advantaged. I just want some normal, deep emotional development for her where she lets go off her survivor’s guilt and learns to accept herself for who she is because she has been so hardworking since little and to tell Aoi to go suck Kureto’s d*ck if she is so loooyal to the Hiiragis as she says but maybe that’s asking too much.

My hopes for Tenjiryū’s appearance reveal are small but I still try to remember that despite all that happened in the manga Mitsuba is still a main female deuteragonist with a lot of unaddressed potential and also for the characters in universe it has been less than one day since chapter 70 (while for us it has been almost 3 years) so it’s not like Mitsuba can do something amazing in that short time frame where the focus is on Yuu, Mika and Shinoa. Moreover, I remember Kagami saying that there is something waiting Mitsuba so I hope he didn’t forget about it💔

Additionally, some people have observed that humans and their demons share similarities so I wanted to point out a small observation for this human-demon pair. Mitsuba was born on the 7th of July, which is the day of Tanabata/Star Festival, a popular Japanese festival that celebrates the meeting of two lovers represented by the stars Vega and Altair, who are separated by the Milky Way and can only meet on the 7/7 once a year. I think this goes well with Tenjiryū’s sky related name :3

If Kagami doesn’t give Mitsu attention then I will do so and I don’t give a fuck if I am being annoying

[readatmidnight]

It’s been a while since my last update since most of April and May left me with very little time for blogging. I just wanted to do a quick catch up on what I’ve been reading and what I plan to read in the coming month.

What I’ve Read

Almost 100% of the reading I’ve done in the past two months have been done via audiobook. Bless them for enabling me to finish all these novels while I completed my chores or during my morning commute, I would have fell into a book slump without them. I know at the beginning of the year I said I would cancel my Scribd account, but since I read so much via audio now, the set up is working great for me.

These aren’t even in chronological reading order because I am a Mess.

Daisy Jones and The Six by Taylor Jenkins Reid ★★★★☆ This novel is best enjoyed via audiobook, sorry I don’t make the rules. TJR has a way of making her characters feel so raw and real, if I didn’t know any better I would have been searching for the discography of Daisy Jones & The Six after completing this novel. Epistolary novels don’t always work for me (see: Illuminae), because I sometimes find it hard to connect to the story. 100% not the case here, and I loved how utterly flawed everyone was allowed to be. To tell the truth, I didn’t like most of them, but they sure captured my imagination.

The Dragon Republic by R. F. Kuang ★★★★ HELLO IS ANYONE SURPRISED I AM COMPLETE TRASH FOR THIS BOOK. NO? OK. Ahem. With complete objectivity, this book was a stunning follow-up to The Poppy War. It’s more introspective, it deals with PTSD, it brings in all of the threads that complicates and muddies the war Rin is waging on Nikara and with herself. The ending left me literally reeling and screaming in random DMs for weeks. I still have not completely stopped and I fear I will never be coherent again. Give me book three or give me death.

Magic for Liars by Sarah Gailey ★★★★☆ I finished this book about two hours ago and edited the post to include it. Although it contained the familiar tropes like a magical school, a jaded private detective, a dark prophecy, a hidden world of mages, a murder mystery – Magic for Liars combined them in a way that kept the plot fresh and engaging. Imagine if Aunt Petunia never married Vernon Dursley but instead became a private investigator – who’s then called back to Hogwarts to unravel a murder, with Lily as one of the professors on tenure. Except better, because the character work in this book is freaking top notch. Just go read it OK, this is the gay and messy magical school we all deserve.

The Devouring Gray by Christine Lynn Herman ★★★★☆ Billed as The Raven Cycle meets Stranger Things, this is one of those rare instances where the book matches the comp perfectly. While I found the pacing to be slow, I thought it suited this character-driven story. It’s all about families and legacies and finding your own paths despite the weight of all that history. I adored all of the characters, especially Harper – my sworld-wielding warrior queen. I cannot wait to see the sequel and watching how entangled relationships will develop.

Wicked Saints by Emily A. Duncan ★★☆☆☆ I love the idea of hate-to-love, especially with a villain love-interest, so that’s what initially drew me to this book. When I learned that the heroine could converse with the gods, I got even more excited. Alas, it was a bit of a missed opportunity. I saw shadows of a fanfic-worthy broody bad boy in every scene with Malachiasz. I can understand insta-attraction, what I can’t understand is how poorly the character and relationship development was done. The stars are wholly reserved for Serefin, my drunken drama-queen and the only part of this novel I enjoyed.

We Hunt The Flame by Hafsah Faizal ★★★☆☆ I expected this to be a five star read, so while it was good, I am disappointed I didn’t love it more. The prose were gorgeous and I am definitely checking out whatever Hafsah Faizal writes next. However, the writing style’s penchant for beautiful metaphors sometimes felt jarring with the pacing of the book. While I liked the characters indivdually, I didn’t feel compelled by any relationships aside from the one shared between Altair and Nasir in the beginning. I’m definitely in the minority with my lukewarm response to this title, though – there are tons of fans so don’t be put off by my review.

Verity by Colleen Hoover ★☆☆☆☆ The sole star is for the fact that while the plot of this book was so improbable it veered into farcical, it was a page-turner. Toxic relationships is the bread-and-butter of crime, but there was something particularly tasteless about the way adultery and marriage was depicted in this book. Partly due to the casual nonchalance that CoHo tends to dismiss cheating, but also because even with my few remaining brain cells I could still figure out the plot was BS. The way disability was handled in this novel also left a lot to be desired, and the ‘twist’ at the end disappointed me so much I wanted to hurl this book into the sun. This was 7 hours of my good life wasted.

The Bride Test ★★★★★ I cannot remain calm or objective about Helen’s books, I love them completely – because they’re unabashedly Vietnamese, because they’re proudly diasporic, because they’re filled with characters who feel so real I’m mildly miffed we’re not invited to their weddings. Khai and Esme slowly but surely stole my heart over a course of a long haul international flight. I laughed and cried and went through all of the emotions of first love. Along with its powerful emotional resonance, The Bride Test also offered sharp societal critique on the accessibility of the American Dream. These books are so special to me and I am so glad we have more Helen content to look forward to for years to come.

Ruse ★★★★☆ This is the second and final instalment to Cindy Pon’s high-octane and prescient eco-dystopia – if you haven’t read Want, go visit your local bookshop right now and change this immediately. The bar is raised with Ruse, from the character development, the scope of the world, and the ever heightened stake. I loved seeing the gang again, even though Cindy did not pull any punches when it came to making my children suffer. It was such a satisfying and well-earned conclusion.

Wilder Girls ★★★★☆ Whew, this book was harrowing and intense. It felt dangerous and unknowable, with the plot constantly shifting right under my feet – just as the physical world in the book warps and distorts everything from plants to landscape to school-girls. I read it in a rush over two days because I could not put it down. If you’re after a novel with ride-or-die friendship and sapphic romance, this is one to keep an eye out for.

Red, White, and Royal Blue ★★★★★ I am completely bereft that Alex Claremont-Diaz and Prince Henry of Wales are not real people – for these two I would take up reading gossip magazines again. This book was rambunctious and as irrepressible as the passion that drives its main characters. The supporting cast are equally impressive, and I love the chemistry imbued into the various relationships in this novel. I can’t remember the last time I rooted so hard for fictional characters to overcome and triumph. Although we can’t have Claremont 2020, can we please please please get a Jude and Nora spin-off instead?

Looks like romance is my new favourite genre, judging by my latest two five star reads. Please give me all the recs, but no mayo toxic romance please. I feel like whenever I stray from the usual diet of speculative fiction, I become very picky in which books I read – which tends to mean that I end up loving the ones I do pick up.

What I’m Reading

I usually have numerous books on the go because I have no self-control. I have two going at the moment, but this number will undoubtedly multiply before I have the chance to publish this post.

Foundryside by Robert Jackson Bennet – I am about 5 hours into the audiobook and I am already completely charmed by this world and its characters! The rogue-archetype has always been one of my favourite fantasy trope, and to make it even better Santia comes with a snarky talking key. The world building is a marvel, especially the magic system and how it is manipulated by the characters and governing bodies within the novel. I also heard there is a budding sapphic romance in this one – I think I just met the love interest and I already love her as well. Very excited to continue on!

On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong – I am three chapters into this novel and it’s already taken my very soul apart. Written by a Vietnamese-American son for his illiterate mother, it’s part-meditation and part-confessional on PTSD, inherited trauma, and how a you learn to communicate with a mother-tongue you can barely speak. I am ready for it completely wreck me.

I forgot that I am technically still reading The Priory of the Orange Tree but I am so exhausted with this brick at this point in time, I’m not sure I will ever finish it. The world building (West and East dragon mythology), and the characters (sapphic Queens and her bodyguard) had so much potential – but I kept feeling like an emotional weight was missing.

What I’m Planning to Read

I am an expert is making up TBR and then not sticking to them. So to save myself the embarrassment here’s two I am definitely reading this month, the rest is c’est la vie.

Sorcery of Thorns by Margaret Rogerson I know y’all keep saying that Enchantment of Ravens is lame because it has no plot but I loved Rook and Isobel with all my heart OK. I know nothing about this one except that it has a librarian babe (maybe?). Therefore, I am very excited.

Spin the Dawn by Elizabeth Lim This is part of the Caffeine Book Tours that Shealea organised (thank you!!). This is one of my most anticipated read of this year because fashion and East Asian fantasy? Relevant to my interest. I think we can all agree that this is the best cover of 2019. I want this illustrator to draw my life.

What are you reading and what are you all up to? I miss you!! Hope you’re going to have an amazing month and Happy Pride everyone!!

June Reading Updates It's been a while since my last update since most of April and May left me with very little time for blogging.