#AND GOOD GOD MARK... TURNING TO MERCENARY WORK OVER IT ALL... SELLING HIS SOUL TO A LAbortory that changed him in immense ways

[luck-of-the-drawings]

IMAGINE. working at ur stupid uhhh job or whatever. pulling into your drive way and ready to work on some crazy project in your garage. opening the door to the most unfamiliar silence. did your wife and kid leave for something? could you imagine knocking on your kids door, hardly getting an answer, and opening it to find the splattered remains of your wife across his room your child is scared! hes hardly consolable, in a state of shock and terror. you are too, but youre the adult here. you need to take charge. you need to protect him. you need to do something. you need to do something.

[botslayer]

Top Ten games of the 2010′s

This trend seems to be doing the rounds at the moment and seeing as I’ve been gaming for about as long as I can remember, It just feels right. So, let’s get into it. But first, worth saying: These aren't really in any specific order, it's just the games I've personally had the most fun with overall, but it's pretty hard to decide what the hard numbers on things you enjoy for different reasons are if that makes any sense. 10. The 2010's weren't exactly the best time for anyone, I think. For me they were a slog of finding myself and learning things I wish I didn't. Amid all those things I wanted some levity. The world needs something and stupid. We got a lot of it ion 2013 but I feel like we could have used it scattered around a bit more. In that spirit, allow me to show you one hell of a pick me up:

Saints Row 4

Saints Row 4 does not give a fuck. It is aggressively demonstrating that the entire time you play. It doesn't care in the slightest what you think or why, It just wants to show you cool, if juvenile, and interesting, if weird shit. It's the finer points of Ratchet and Clank's arsenal, SR3's humor, And superpowers that genuinely put Prototype and Infamous in a blender and tell you to go ape shit with them. The soundtrack isn't top shelf, it's the roof of the building the shelf is in. Saints Row Two had a better story overall but SR Four's was just plain fun and a solid enough story to still be invested.

The DLC was just as irreverent and madcap, Featuring everything from an evil Santa Clause to evil Gimps on Game of thrones chairs made of dildos Or Tropey-ass costumes and weapon reskins that I'd be genuinely surprised the game dev didn't get sued over. It has earned its place in my top 10 and I will die by that decision.

9.

2016 saw the advent of a new genre. They blended TF2 and MOBAs, and we got hero shooters in their first AAA forms, Overwatch and Battleborn. But neither of these games is on this list, much as I liked them. Partly because the whole time, I kept thinking of one simple question: "Why do I keep thinking of...?"

Anarchy Reigns

Anarchy Reigns is my favorite Platinum game. Full Stop. The Story mode is interesting and has genuinely good character moments, the characters themselves are completely mental, ranging from a mercenary with a bionic cat leg that secretly has a gun built into it to a giant cyborg bull-man with a jet-powered hammer. The soundtrack is mostly angry hip-hop, making every song a banger and fittingly speedy for things like random bombing runs from jet fighters that come from absolutely nowhere.

There are giant monsters, cars with mounted flame throwers, giant robots, and the online is still pretty sweet because even when abandoned, loading it up with bots still rules. I regularly have more fun with this than I ever did with Overwatch, and I don't care how insane that sounds.

8.

Some games want to make you feel something and fail. Some games make you feel some things accidentally, for example, a desperate need to laugh. This game made me feel like a human blender. Like a Chthonic god of mangled flesh and raw destructive power. Nyarlathotep ain't got nothing on me. I speak, of course, of...

[Prototype] 2

There's no end to the absolute destruction you feel like you're causing in this game. It feels more fluid than the first, the main character is a pinch more relatable, and all the body horror, superpowers, zombie hordes, and big old monsters make for some of the most memorable and fun moments and fights in gaming. The DLC is also pretty solid, adding new fun side challenges, and new powers and weapons that elevate you from "Flesh god" to "Screw physics, I made them" Omnipotent. Best god/monster simulation of all time.

7.

Sometimes some games are at an honest tie in your mind. Be it that you like them for essentially the same reasons, or for completely different reasons, but the overall total joy or entertainment they bring is roughly equivalent. Here, we have a case of the former:

Furi/Cuphead

Both games have a tight focus on giving players a unique, boss-centric challenge, both have interesting, somewhat minimal narratives, and both are absolute eye candy.

Furi has a more "Samurai Jack" Quality to me. A complete badass on a relatively simple quest with a somewhat minimalistic art style learning some things as he goes.

Cuphead on the other hand, nails that rubber hose animation style, and the fun levity of such animations while still making the player's ability to interact with the world damn impactful and fun.

They share a spot in my soul, games I love everything about but will never be able to finish. Hats off to both dev teams.

6.

Now here we have another tie. Mostly because the games are so close together, they need to be evaluated more or less as one product IMO, not enough changed for me to consider them separate games, fortunately, that is the furthest thing from an insult it can be in this situation. I present to you, my next pick(s).

Costume Quest 1/2

Now, This might seem pretty random considering my other picks, but honestly, I love Halloween, I love creative madness, I love subversion, I love good characters, and I love cool action, these games have all these things by the bucketload.

The first game is a wild ride through Halloween in multiple very lively locations and the second, slightly confusing as it is, is pretty awesome for the things it introduces, including time travel. Other elements, like the battle stamps, the truly epic forms of everything in the fights, The ability to customize your costumes, etc. they blur together in a pretty big way, but again, there's not a thing wrong with that when both games rock like crystal candy. 

5.

Now, if you hadn't noticed, all of the games on this list have had some hard action at their core, and while I don't HATE calmer games, a lot of the time, so many are kinda dull to me in that with the exception of easter eggs of some sort, most farming sims, for example, just have you doing normal farm stuff with very few twists, may as well start a real farm in that case. My most chill entry is a game that tosses that to one side, asks you to grab a suck cannon, and start harvesting gelatinous monster poop.

Slime Rancher

While you don't spend a lot of time actually interacting with other characters, they just talk at you, the story of the game is pretty effective, the player character of Beatrix has left Earth for a simpler life of Slime Ranching, which entails the raising of alien crops, delightfully derpy and colorful chickens, and going all around in an attempt to farm new breeds of slime for their genetic material to sell off or trade-in for the creation of gadgets while being surrounded by a cast of interesting characters. It's all very wholesome family fun.

The game looks great, has great ideas, and is genuinely the best farming game I have ever played. @ me all you want.

4.

The 80's are almost fetishized nowadays. Given all the property reboots, games that go for the vibe and aesthetic of the time, etc. It almost seems as though the eighties vibe train ain't gonna stop rolling any time soon. But we owe it to ourselves to remember the first big swipe of madcap neon-colored actiony B-movie bullshit and how mind-meltingly epic it was. Ladies, Gents, and whatever else, I present:

Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon

Blood Dragon's story is relatively simple, you play Sargent Rex "Power" Colt (A name said in full so many times I thought his last name was "Powercolt" for the longest time), a former "Omega force" cyborg. Rex and his friend "Spider" were sent into a secret island base to investigate the supposed defection and treachery of their old commander, Ike Sloan. It turns out he has gone rogue and taken an army of "Mark 5" Omegaforce cyber-soldiers with him. What follows is a long story of betrayal, science fiction of the highest nonsensical level, comedy, and brilliantly cathartic action.

The collectibles range from data on animals, to research notes from a scientist, to literal VHS cassette tapes that have full descriptions of movies that I would legitimately watch if I could. "You may now kill the brides" is not a real film and I am angry for every day that that is true. Anyway, play Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon, I dunno if it's on PS4 but it's one game I'd buy a new/old console for.

3.

A lot of superhero games NEED to railroad you. Your goals MUST be to save the lives of the people and help the weak and all that. But one dev asked the simple question: "What if it didn't?" "What if the player chose how to use their power? What if the player could be as evil or as good as they damn well pleased?" One game gave you the powers of thunder and lightning and asked what you'd do with it. It's sequel asked you the same, but against more... interesting forces.

InFamous 2

InFamous 2 is a game about making choices, just like the first one, also just like the first one, it can have an effect on gameplay. That effect went from "What does this particular power do in this allignment?" To "Which new set of NEW powers would you like?" The forces of the last game went from “Three flavors of gun-toting whackos” To “Possibly an allegory for the Klan, Swamp monsters, and Ice-powered super soldiers.”

This was, and still is, the best game in the whole series, The powers felt distinct from anything else and still do, the story is solid as a rock, and the enemy types were still varied enough to be interesting, I miss the Reapers from the first game, but that's about it. Everything else was a massive step up. If you have something that can run it, play it.

2.

Action is something I think we can all appreciate on some level. We can understand when it does or does not work, we can understand when we do or do not like how it feels when we are the ones partaking in it. EX: Any schlep can tell you when the weapons in your game lack impact, or when your character moves too slow for the game to be fun. The following game is something I can't say anything of the sort about. And it's kind of like Wolfenstein, when you have enemies this bad, who the hell cares how many you kill?

Doom 2016

Y'all are lying if you say you didn't expect this one. It's DOOM 2016. This game is made of hate and fuck. AND I LOVE IT. You move so fast, you may as well be half cheetah and half sports car. You slaughter the dregs of hell by the dozens and even the biggest, baddest things this game throws at you can be beaten with the starting pistol if you have the stones for it. It looks amazing graphically, the demons all look appropriately threatening, and even the Multiplayer is a great deal of fun in my book.

Something worth noting: The story presented by default is pretty barebones, but that's where supplementary material fills in the gaps, the difference between supplementary material in most games and supplementary material here is the material is till IN THE GAME. You're free to ignore most of the plot as it happens around you, and even interesting tidbits of the lore like how certain demons function. Not only are these things missable collectibles, prompting continued play to find them, they are also pretty interesting reads. So yeah, just about everything you could want in a sequel/remake, builds the on lore and gameplay very organically. 

1.

And here we are, the last game I'd put in this category. An entire decade, and here, we end on the last game that left such an impact I'd put it in my top ten. But first, let's talk about expectations and delivery: When you say a game is coming out, there are certain expectations you have for gameplay, EX: I say "Ratchet and Clank" and you expect a TPS with platforming elements and crazy guns. I say "Gears of War" and people expect something to do with lumbering about in big armor, dismembering things with a chainsaw gun and otherwise shooting them to paste. We might also expect changes to things, better graphics, innovations in grenade variety, something as that franchise goes on.

After the last game in this series was released, there were tons of people who felt let down and disappointed by it. Then they released the still somewhat disappointing special edition of it. They were both still fun, but neither really felt like the full next step in the series. After a failed reboot, they returned to the original story and the lot of us rejoiced. And when it finally came out? It was a step up in most, if not, all regards, to its predecessors. You know what this last one is. Please, give a warm round of applause to:

Devil May Cry 5

A game that was not only a return to form, but a major escalation in gameplay for one character, and a new style of gameplay all together by way of yet another new character. It didn’t exactly hurt that the story kicked ten kinds of ass and that the game looked spectacular in both the design of everything and the actual graphical fidelity.DMC 5 is, like DOOM, Like InFamous 2, Like [PROTOTYPE] 2, everything you want in a good sequel. It built very well on already solid foundations and it was generally just a fun, slightly goofy, massively stylish, and ultra badass ride. I recommend this, and all these games, to anyone.Good night everyone, have a great 2020. And the rest of the decade, for that matter. 

[patrickcharlton-oshea-author]

Chapter Seven:         “Ow!”         Once more, Peter woke into darkness. This darkness was more stuffy and musty though. He tried to sit up, but a sharp pain in his forehead and a burst of stars caused him to lie back again. Through a rising panic he explored his environment with the only sense available: touch. He was bounded on all sides by silk-lined walls, leaving little room to move. Eventually he found a braided cord by his head and pulled on it vigorously. Far off a tinkling bell could be heard. Right. The bell. He continued to pull the rope as hard as he could.         “All right. Keep your shroud on.” A voice from outside his confinement grumbled. “Damn Travellers. Why can't they stay dead like the rest of you lot?” A sliver of light pierced the darkness, then widened as the lid of the sarcophagus was pushed aside. Peering in was quite possibly the ugliest face Peter had seen since joining the game. It was indescribable.         He sat up and took a deep breath of fresh air. Well, air anyway. It was decidedly not fresh in here. The walls were lined with horizontal alcoves in which resided skeletons. Some had weapons and shields placed on them. Some had jewellery strung from their bony bodies. They were all absolutely dead.         “Well, Traveller? Would you like some more time to regenerate, or are you ready to face the world again?” The man asked. It had to be a man. Nature couldn't possibly be that cruel to a girl. It's frame was hunched, knobbly and moved weirdly. The voice that issued from him was oddly calming however.         “I'm ready to get up, thank you. Sorry for going crazy with the bell. It's the first time I've died.” Peter edged over the side of the stone coffin and stood blinking in the half-light.         “Oh-ho! A first timer! Well, welcome to my crypt. I'm Jacob, and it's my job to guide you to the Sisters of Mercy. Follow me.” He began to head for the door with an odd, rolling gait. Peter thought he might have made a decent sailor with that walk. “I've not had a Traveller through here in a little bit. Folks just aren't dying like they used to.”         Peter followed him along a torch lit tunnel. They were well spaced apart and he was glad of it, his eyes were still quite sensitive. “Popular place, was it?” “Oh, for sure,” Jacob replied. “It's dead centre of town. People were dying to get in here. I even used to have my band practice down here, until people complained. Apparently we were loud enough to wake the dead.”         Peter smiled to himself. His dad told the same sort of jokes all the time. Then his smile faded. His dad used to joke, but hadn't in a long time.         After a walk long enough that Jacob's jokes had started to repeat, they arrived at a steel ladder set into the stone. “Up you go young sir. Thank you for listening to an old crypt keeper’s rambling. The Sisters will meet you at the top of the ladder. They've got tea and biscuits I'm told. Now, as much as I like the company, I hope I don't see you again. In a box, at least. Feel free to drop by the cemetery any time.”         Peter took hold of the first rung and Jacob ambled off, muttering to himself good naturedly. When most of your friends are dead, you get used to the sound of your own voice, he guessed.         At the top of the ladder he was indeed met by a Sister in the usual habit. Instead of speaking, she merely gestured for him to follow a short way down a much lighter corridor, with walls that were all white marble with sconces set in a much more regular manner. He was waved into a room with a wooden chair and desk against one wall and a rug and cushions on the opposite side. On the desk was parchment and a quill with an ink bottle. Set in front of the cushions was a small coffee table with a steaming mug and an assortment of snacks. Peter threw himself down on the cushions, grabbed a biscuit and dunked it in his tea. Munching on the snack he looked around to find himself alone. He sat and sipped the tea, which was quite excellent, and thought about how he'd died. It had hurt, and the surprise had made it worse. It had shocked him so much that as soon as the darkness had rolled in he'd logged out, fast. He replayed the moment in his mind again. He'd experienced something similar when Billy had hit him. The surprise that someone, or in the rabbit's case, something, had wanted to hurt him so badly. He was feeling an odd mixture of rage and fear. He desperately wanted to hunt down the mad bunny and cause it as much pain as it had inflicted upon him. Yet, it had taken him down so fast, so easily, he dreaded that it'd do exactly the same again. Peter sipped his tea again. Perhaps he should simply leave it alone for now. If he was more careful, quieter and more attentive he could avoid putting himself in that situation again until he was stronger, and armed.         Sparked by the thought of arms, Peter rolled up his now very grubby sleeve and looked at his left forearm. He scrolled through his stats to the skills section, worried about experience point loss. It had been mentioned on the wiki that when your character died you could lose stats and skill points. He had no stats to speak of anyway, but he'd just earned himself some points in herbalism, fractional though they had been. No, the score was unchanged. Still sitting at 0.3%. He let out a sigh of relief, which cut off shortly. He quickly scrolled to the inventory mark and popped it open. The berries were all still there, and his sickle was undamaged. Unlike his clothes that were rapidly becoming tattered, it was almost pristine. This time his sigh of relief was uninterrupted.         Just as he swallowed the last of his tea, a Sister appeared in the doorway. It could have been the same one. Was there even more than one here? “Traveller, are you prepared to face the world again?” she asked. He thought the voice was the same as the one he'd met in the chapel, but he wasn't certain. They might have just used the same voice actress for all of them. When he nodded assent to the question, the priestess gestured for him to follow her. They walked  up the hallway and ascended a short flight of stairs which brought them out into the graveyard. The priestess bowed and retired back below.         Jacob was there, tidying a plot with a scythe. It wasn't a large graveyard, room only for about fifty plots and a marble arch that led down into the crypts. The tall brick walls kept the air still in here, but the sun shone gently, reflecting off the polished headstones. One plot stood empty with a pile of fresh dirt next to it. Peter wandered over, curious. The headstone bore his name. Shocked, he called out to the crypt keeper.         “Jacob. What the hell?”         “Well, Traveller, how did you think you got down into my crypts?” Jacob leaned the scythe against the stone. “By the grace of the gods, when you bind your soul to this place a stone is set in the yard here. If you die out there, your body is brought here by their will and I have to dig you up and take you down for a rest while your body knits itself together. Most Travellers are awake and screaming when this happens, but some lucky few sleep through it like you did. It's one of the reasons Travellers go to such lengths to avoid dying. Massive sets of armour, magic potions and shields, some even hire mercenaries to do the adventuring for them. Still, I usually gets to see them all at least once. Now, I've got duties to attend to, unless you want something else?”         “No, thank you,” Pete mumbled distractedly. “You've given me much to think about.”         Pete wandered over to a nearby bench and sat down. Lifelike NPCs, painful deaths AND respawning in a coffin. None of this had been noted in his research. What else hadn't been mentioned? Was it even worth playing? But the flipside of the coin wasn't much better. His parents didn't look like they were going to stop fighting any time soon. Did his dad really just fall asleep working? He was in for a world of pain when he got back to school anyway and the advice he'd been given sounded like it was going to earn him more beatings whether he listened to his mum or dad. At least here he knew he could eventually do something about it. Armour had been mentioned, as had magic. Now he just needed the means to acquire it.         The quest! Peter jumped up and ran out the gate of the graveyard excitedly. He'd completed the quest for the herbalist and was owed some money! Running into the square he found he had absolutely no idea where to go from there. He checked his arm again, flicking to the quests section and thumbing the guiding lights option. Once more the little lights shimmered into life to show him where to go. Magic GPS, what an idea.         Following the flickering trail along the street was a cinch. It wended itself around people, NPCs, Peter reminded himself. There couldn’t be this many people role playing as Citizens, could there? Jogging along the trail Peter kept one eye on the lights to ensure he was going the right way and turned his attention to his surroundings. He passed a few stalls, one selling fruit, one selling smallgoods, one selling an impact...         Wait? An impact? Peter was flung through the air, visions of a large animal mixing with sky and ground. He skidded to a halt in a jumble of arms and legs. Picking himself and dusting off his increasingly ruined clothing he looked back the way he'd come. The lights passed through a rider on a barded warhorse as though it wasn't even there. Peter thought about this as he tried his best to tidy up. Maybe the magic GPS didn't account for Travellers, if that’s what the rider was. He certainly looked the part. Peter picked up a clod of earth and slung it at the back of the oblivious twat who'd paid exactly zero attention to the poor person he'd bowled over. They were just riding up the middle of the street as though they owned the road. Of course, his stats in this game were the much the same as his athletic ability in real life, and the clod bounced off the head of a random figure who'd just stepped out their front door.         As the poor innocent tried in vain to solve the Mystery of the Muck Missile, Peter ducked guiltily into an alley between two houses. Then he remembered the bus that had embarrassed him the previous morning and felt vindicated. Stupid machines, Skynet could suck it. So could the jerk on his armoured ass. “Bugger them,” he thought, and strode back out into the street. Pointedly ignoring the ruckus up the street where the Mysterious Muck Missile Manhunt had become a small riot with pointed fingers and accusations thrown as randomly as Peter’s clod, Peter followed the lights down the road to an unassuming building with a wooden sign in the shape of a maple leaf hung above the door.         Opening the door to a jingling bell Peter found himself in a dimly lit room lined with open topped boxes and labelled jars. Behind a counter at the back of the room stood an elderly man with an impressively long white beard. The flickering lights had formed a ring around him, indicating he was the objective of the quest. The herbalist himself, he assumed. Well, he could wait. Peter browsed the merchandise, examining the assorted leaves, roots and sticks of exotic wood. Some he recognised from the real world, camphor wood, cinnamon sticks and vanilla seed pods. Others were clearly made up. He doubted that there was any such thing as Blood Orchid root, mallets from a Sledgehammer Plant, or Dragon Fruit seeds.         The man at the back of the room coughed to get his attention. “Can I help you, young Traveller? Is there something specific you need for, say, a potion or salve?”         Peter ceased his browsing and opened his inventory. He withdrew twenty of the berries and placed them on the counter. “I have come to fulfil your quest. You needed raspberries, yes?”         The herbalist's face lit up with a smile. He quickly swept the berries into a large jar and hid it under the counter whilst looking shiftily behind him at the curtain that separated the shop from the rest of the building. “Well done, Traveller. Here are five coppers for your efforts,” he whispered, dropping the coins onto the counter. You'd think Peter had just brought in a package of illicit drugs the way he was acting.         “May I ask, what sort of potion do you make with those?” Peter inquired, whispering as well.         “No potion, I just really love raspberries. My wife says I eat too many so I have to hide them from her,” he replied with a wink. In a louder voice he continued. “Maybe you seek recipes? Your interest in my wares suggests you may be in the herb business yourself?”         Shaken by the sudden change of tone, Peter stammered, “R-r-recipes? I'm new to the world, could you explain, please?”         “Certainly, Traveller. Whilst you can eat the raw ingredients to gain the benefits of a herb, you also receive all the effects from that herb. Recipes and the correct brewing equipment will allow you to distil the desired effect. I have for sale a basic mortar and pestle, a small cauldron – popular with the alchemist on the move – and the recipes for basic health and essence potions. I also carry more advanced recipes like barkskin, stoneskin, alacrity and mental acuity enhancement. Which would you like?”         Peter dropped his voice to a whisper again. “First, I have some more raspberries, if you're interested.” He placed the rest of the berried from his cache on the counter.         “I can only accept twenty more, Traveller. Any more and I'll have a stomach ache, and the rest will spoil. I can offer three coppers, is that acceptable?” When Peter nodded his assent, the berries were swiftly replaced with the metal disks.         “Good sir, I have but eight coppers to my name.” Peter raised his voice again. “What do you have that you can offer in that price range?”         “Nay young lad. Whilst that sum would procure some herbs from these stocks, it wouldn’t afford you the meanest of the tools I have to offer.” The herbalist shook his head sadly.         Dismayed, Peter slunk out, slamming the door behind him. He was getting exceptionally tired, his eyes were burning and head filling with cotton wool. He couldn’t catch a break.         “It must be past midnight. I should try getting some actual sleep.” He sat on the step outside the shop, closed his aching eyes and logged off for the second time that night.