#AND I KNOW I'VE DREAMT ABOUT THIS LIKE A YEAR AGO. I REMEMBER THE VAGUE DETAILS THEY'RE FAMILIAR TO ME

[cathymee]

i did not just dream up an analog horror plot TWICE and just forget about the big details a few hours after waking up

[misscammiedawn]

Well, since you asked, what sorts of fantasies/scenes/ideas would you like to do in the coming year?

OKIES! I have had time to think about it! Thank you Miss for asking and I hope you know this isn't like a checklist! Don't feel like you need to do all these okay!

Also I am kinda on the spot! Like the old ones were things I dreamt about for years or organically had that welling I WANT THAT reaction! I feel like I'm sort of just racking my brain for these <3 you did too good a job, Miss! I want for nothing because you made my dreams come true <3

Buuut here are some ideas! Summoning Shenanigans - I still want a "summoned to a hotel room" style thing where a trigger (whether text message or time based) has me glide from my room while bespelled and unaware of where I am going but knowing I am supposed to go there. The whole Summoning skill in Vampire: The Masquerade has imprinted on my weak and susceptible mind! (Though maybe if we had joining rooms there could be a kind of "leave the window open" sort of thing? IDK vampire scenes and me are just always gonna be a thing!)

Make-up scene - A looong while ago Dawn did this for Sleepyhead:

it was back when we were actually spending money on our Sephora products and trying to learn things-- something which tapered off a bunch the past couple years--

2019-2021 era Camdawn was still getting used to being trans and overcompensated our gender performance.

But I wanna be prettied up. I think we did something like this during Charmed 2023? I vaguely recall starring blankly at my reflection but that may have been a hair brushing thing?

Either way I just wanna get pampered up and made pretty just one time in my life. I dunno why but that fantasy always gets me. When I'm at the salon getting my hair dried in that helmet thing I like to imagine myself being brainwashed. It's just a nice lil' personal indulgence.

Though this may be best saved until after COVID anyway.

Hair Style stuff? - Daja once had a thing about "The Cammie is stored in the hair, right? So what happens if I style your hair?" and we play a lil' with hair brushing and stuff but I like the idea of being braided into obedience or having a bun that when released will do something. It's a tough one because of how our brain works but I really like the idea of hair style control. It hits the buttons from the previous one but in a much more personal and lovely way <3

Singing/Dancing Fantasy - I remember there was once a "musical episode" of a TTRPG I did and I can't remember if I was able to sing along with it or not but I like the idea of just being under a spell or compulsion that makes it so I can only interact in musical <3 it is silly and I love silly!

Curious concepts which aren't fantasies but popped in our head while thinking of answers here:

Silly Request - I'll be wearing my Hypnotist/Switch/Hypnotee pin again at Charmed! I kinda wanna have a thing where if I forget to switch it and someone I love reaches in and spins it to hypnotee I just drop instantly (provided that it's safe to do so)

Curiosity/Amnesia'y thingy??? - So like--- I OFTEN have moments where I push stuff out of head and out of mind but don't commit to deleting it-- like I delete a lot of stuff and it upsets me when I go scratching that itch and find it's not there but like y'all underestimate how much I search through old photos, journals, videos and such to satiate an impulse.

It'd be nice to have a trap for myself in there like a video or audio or word file that draws attention and I click it and it hypnotizes me and I forget about it and then rediscover it again someday.

Like I'm thinking of it as some kind of emergency "feel better" spell from me to me and have considered doing it a few times or writing a story about it. Like this isn't something I want done for me, more a concept I've been thinking about and a good use of my proclivity for hypnotic amnesia <3

Elevator thing - So like I don't talk a bunch about the specifics of my past life because the people involved can't consent to my sharing but I did do hypnosis in the before times. There was one scene born from an elevator at a convention in Chicago that had this soothing LED color pattern and like--- I kinda wanna make a memory like that again. There are three big scene memories I can think of from my past life and I think understanding which of those I remember super fondly would help craft new scenes. One was watching snow fall, one was in a hot tub and the other was the elevator thing. I think it's just a mix of the intimate, unexpected and situational elements-- like they were all during times which were heightened level of Special Moment and built upon that high-- it's why Fountain Scene in October was so important to me!

I hope that helps! It's hard to explain when I refuse to be specific!

-

ANYWAYS! I'll keep thinking!

For now! I hope the elevator thing explains what makes a scene work for me and know VAMPIRE STUFF ALWAYS WORKS <3

[superemeralds]

Dude, are you okay? What's been up, an old follower, I haven't been keeping up since I left tumblr but man... If it helps... I've always loved your artwork and the Shadow origin fanfic you wrote. I think you're a really interesting person, hell it might sound odd (and I dunno if you'll remember me from this) but I've dreamt of you before and that normally happens with people who I consider friends or I'm glad to know of their existence. Please stay safe.

I think i remember you? I vaguely remember something about a person dreaming abt me. Idk who exactly it was but ????

To answer ur question tho, im just depressed lmao and im not getting any treatment whatsoever while also recieving zero support irl. (Like mom told me to just kms multiple times if i wanted it so much, she is tired of me whining abt wanting to die)On top of that im like the only trans person in germany whos made to wait 3 years to get therapy lol and i need to be in therapy for 1 entire year to get t, but im also the only person who has to go by that rule i feel. I keep hearing stories of people saying theh ring up a doc and they get their t in 3 monthsIt makes me angry and sad and im just so tiredMy dysphoria is getting really bad lately because im in a fucking downward spiral. My coping mechanism includes eating food and that means i gain weight, that means the features of mt body i hate most grow even furtherI cant bind anymore, if i do i cant breathe and i get wounds on my shoulders and my ribs feel weird so i think i mightve reached my limitIm getting misgendered more than ever and im forced to talk a lot and my voice is like the no 1 thing abt me thag makes me feel the absolute worst and disconnected from myself

On top of all this is the regular school stress and the constant pressure to not fail.I gave up school long ago, i just need to keep going so mom can get payed (long story short dad died and we get a lil pay from his job which we depend on to survive)Im also under pressure to go to uni as soon as i graduate but im so exhausted i dont feel like i can go to uni. I want to be happy with myself first (multiple psychologists ive seen have told me this too lol)But its hard to focus on ur wellbeing if ppl constantly tell u how stupid and lazy you are and that what you love and do is useless and worthless and i should focus on my education to get a real job™Im just about to turn 19 and ive been worried about getting a job for 2 years now. I need to help my “family” survive somehow. They are assholes and emotionally abuse me without an end but they are literally all ive got. Ive been broken so much that i feel guilty for hating them and wantning to leave them, im also very dependent on them lmaoBut i cant get a job because of my anxiety™ because just thinking abt it makes me feel sick and whenever i start looking up how to get a job i end up crying before i actually learned smth

Basically everything about me is fucked up and i want to die