#American land use must look so COMICAL to everyone else like can y’all believe this

[reptilia2003]

i hate it here

[themyskira]

Amazons Attack! - part 10

PREVIOUSLY! Supergirl and Wonder Girl smashed up an internment camp for women associated with Amazons (where ‘associated’ can mean anything from ‘known acquaintance of Wonder Woman’ to ‘looks a bit feminist’), succeeding only in getting Cassie’s mother injured and the rest of the Teen Titans arrested for the crime of collaboration with subversives (where ‘collaboration’ means ‘trying to stop’).

For their next trick, the Girls Super and Wonder successfully helped to crash Air Force One, get a bunch of people killed and almost murder the damn President of the United States, before Superman came and gave them a stern talking-to.

This time: the Teen Titans teach us that the right way to resist oppression is to look quietly disapproving until the system gets embarrassed and sorts itself out, and Supergirl is an actual monster.

Part 10: Teen Titans #49 — Adam Beechen (writer) and Al Barrionuevo (artist), and Supergirl #20 — Tony Bedard (writer) and Renato Guedes (artist)

The Teen Titans’ “arrest” is immediately revealed to be a fakeout — the colonel in command of the camp swiftly marches over, orders her men to stand down  and asks the team to help relocate the detainees from the half-destroyed camp.

(Colonel Wallace, who is cast as a good soldier in a bad situation, is a white woman. Major Hanratty — the aggressive, over-zealous, sexist soldier who tried to arrest the Titans — is a black man. The implications of this become increasingly Unfortunate as the issue unfolds.)

Ravager is outraged, comparing the situation to the internment of Japanese Americans during WWII, but Robin insists that “going against the government won’t help this situation. We just have to make sure things don’t get any worse”.  So that’s what they do, because according to Beechen the only two options in this situation are to violently attack the soldiers like Cassie did or to reluctantly aid the government’s wrongful detention of innocent women and trust the system to work itself out.

Am I reading too much into this to think that this sends kind of a dodgy message to the reader? I mean, bearing in mind that this crossover is a (clumsy) analogy for the War on Terror and was written in the context of ongoing US atrocities — the fact that Beechen appears to dismiss all forms of protest and resistance as irresponsible and detrimental… really sucks?

The women are loaded onto a train and the Titans fly alongside as escorts, until they’re waylaid by a squadron of Amazons led by oh fuck me please don’t drag Artemis into this craphole

“CHILDREN, HOLD! ARTEMIS COMMANDS YOU!”

Artemis explains that she is looking for Cassie, who undertook a mission for Hippolyta to down Air Force One and take the President captive, only to abandon her mission and flee.

Let me list all the things that are wrong with this.

Cassie and Kara were not sent to bring down Air Force One (they managed that through their own incompetence)

Artemis couldn’t possibly know that Cassie and Kara “abandoned” their mission, because none of the Amazons sent to attack Air Force One returned

All Artemis knows is that the Amazons’ mounts returned riderless and bloody, implying that the mission went horribly wrong

Artemis cannot physically be here right now because there’s a big fuck-off forcefield trapping her in DC

The Titans politely explain that they have not seen Cassie or Kara, and Artemis is like, ‘I trust you guys, but unfortunately that doesn’t help me, so I’mma take you all hostage to lure your friends to me, k?’

The Amazons attack, the Titans land heavily on top of the train, which barely avoids derailing. We get of shot of Helena Sandsmark inside the train exclaiming, “Cassie—?”, which cracks me the hell up. ‘Violence? Property damage? Endangerment of bystanders? It must be my daughter!’

Outside, everybody yells at Artemis to mind the innocent civilians. And Artemis, who thus far has been one of the few voices of reason among the Amazons, and a consistent opponent of attacking bystanders, is suddenly flippant about the idea of mass civilian casualties. “Such is war … they are our enemies”.

Then she glimpses the train’s passengers and gasps theatrically.

“—Eh? Women? Under armed guard? WHAT MANNER OF TRAIN IS THIS?!”

So, what, you’re allowed to commit despicable crimes against innocents but nobody else is? Because you were perfectly at peace with murdering everybody on the train a second ago.

Pegging Colonel Wallace as the leader, Artemis yells at her that she’s a traitor to all women.

“Much in this war puzzles me, but these things I know: Women should not shackle their own kind and this will not stand! AMAZONS… ATTACK!”

Yes, let’s attack the fast-moving train full of innocent hostages, that’s sure to go well for all involved.

One rando Amazon is taking Cassie and Kara’s potential betrayal super hard.

“I can’t believe Supergirl would abandon our cause for these… these cowards, hiding behind their guns! She’s our friend! Friends don’t take different sides in a war!”

So, I take it you’re new to comics crossovers, then.

Rando Amazon continues to obsess over Supergirl until Kid Devil pushes her into a lake a few pages later.

It goes on like this for a few pages. More fighting, more poorly-written trading of insults. Ravager declares, “I don’t know who’s worse… the Army for bringing back internment, one of America’s worst memories… or you Amazons, for making ‘em feel like it was necessary!”, which… eeeeeeeeeeeeeeno.

Leaving aside the tortured dialogue, of all the crimes that can be laid at the Amazons feet in this story, internment is not one of them. They didn’t “make” the US government feel that wrongfully detaining innocent people was necessary, any more than the Japanese military “made” the real US government wrongfully segregate, arrest and incarcerate over a hundred thousand innocent Japanese Americans. The Amazons committed an act of war, and pre-existing American bigotry and hatred and ignorance led the government to punish their own citizens despite a lack of evidence of any national security threat.

By implication, here, Adam Beechen is absolving the US government of responsibility for the mass incarceration of Japanese Americans.

Meanwhile, Colonel Wallace isn’t jumping to indiscriminate slaughter fast enough for Major Hanratty, who threatens mutiny.

“Listen, I know that witch with the sword got to you. But you are a soldier first. And if you can’t do what needs to be done, I will.”

The fight causes the train to jump the tracks. M’gann is able to stop it and prevent a crash, just as Superman arrives with Wonder Girl and Supergirl.

Artemis calls on Cassie and Kara to stand with the Amazons; they, of course, refuse.

Artemis: And you, Cassandra? Have you forgotten where your loyalties lie? Cassie: The gods gave me my powers, Artemis, but I’m not a god. And I’m not an Amazon. I’m a woman. And I’m a daughter. My loyalties lie with my family… and with doing what’s right. Tim: What about us, Cassie, are we still— Cassie: Not now, Robin, just… not now.

Way to step on somebody else’s moment, Timbo. And yeah, middle of a live battlefield, maybe not the best time to work out where your friendship stands.

As for Cassie, she is a god (well, demigod, by way of an admittedly crappy retcon), she is an Amazon (not by birth, sure, but she’s earned the right to call herself one), and when she says ‘I’m not an Amazon, I’m a woman’, I can’t help but hear, ‘I’m not a feminist, I’m a humanist’.

Superman pressures Colonel Wallace to let the women go, because it’s the right thing to do. This, again, goes exactly as you’d expect: Colonel Wallace agrees that the orders she’s following are unjust and decides to release everyone; Major Hanratty responds by declaring that he’s assuming command and absolutely nobody will be released.

A few of women decide to make a break for it while they have the chance, leading to this piece of white feminist nonsense:

Woman: Now’s our chance, while they’re sorting all this out… Helena: What—? No, don’t! Let them talk it over, this will all resolve itself peacefully...! Woman: We’re getting out of here. We’ll never have a better chance…

White woman telling a black woman not to make any waves and trust the authorities to sort things out. Cool feminism you got there.

The soldiers see a group of women fleeing. Hanratty mistakes Helena for the ringleader and orders everyone to shoot her. Of course, the Titans save her, and Superman destroys all the soldiers’ equipment. The Amazons hug and make up with Cassie and Kara, then return to DC (you know, the city they’re supposed to be trapped in with no means of getting out) to continuing raining death on America.

Cassie apologies to the Titans, smooches Robin, and good lord this art is appalling.

So that’s it for the Teen Titans in this crossover. Supergirl #20 picks up where this issue leaves off, and it’s so unbelievably dull that I’m not even going to give it a separate post.

The issue opens with a flashback to the attack on Air Force One. With the plane rapidly losing altitude, a terrified flight attendant called Ranay phones her husband — Greg, a DC accountant — to say what might be her final goodbye. She’s talking to him when the plane crashes and the phone is flung out of her hand, leaving Greg believing that his wife is dead and Supergirl is to blame.

That’s page one. If y’all think you know where the rest of this issue is going, you’re probably right.

Still in the flashback, we see Kara and Cassie rushing to help the injured crew and passengers as if they’re not the villains in this story.

Kara: Is everyone okay? I tried to soften the impact… Man: You shot us down in the first place! Kara [VO]: Actually, it was the Amazons, but why argue? It sure felt like my fault.

THAT’S BECAUSE IT IS YOUR FAULT, YOU INSUFFERABLE TWIT. You agreed to kidnap the president. You threatened to bring the plane down. You punched through the GODDAMN FUSELAGE. And all of that happened before the Amazons even arrived on the scene.

In the present, Superman has left Supergirl and Wonder Girl with the Teen Titans. Kara tells Cassie says that she’s going to be in huge trouble when all of this has wrapped up:

“Trust me, this war with the Amazons is nothing compared to the verbal beat-down I’ll get once things die down.”

Oh, I’m sure. Thousands of Americans are dead and the entire state of Kansas is a smoking ruin, but that’s nothing compared to the stern words that Kara’s going to cop.

To ease her hurt feelings, Kara decides to help the rescue efforts in DC (which, again, is supposed to be SEALED OFF FROM THE WORLD).

Meanwhile, Greg’s office is being evacuated, with four heavily armed military personnel guarding the civilians’ escape. It takes two Amazons in a primitive horse-drawn chariot all of five seconds to cut them down, which even for this crossover is ridiculous. Fortunately, grieving-husband-with-a-vendetta Greg is also an ex-Marine! He scoops up a rocket launcher and incinerates the charioteers, then grabs a gun and begins firing.

More Amazons descend on the civilians, which is when Supergirl joins the fight. She defeats them, but only after they’ve shot her in the side with an enchanted arrow.

Greg pulls the arrow out of her with more violence than is strictly necessary and, after an oblivious Kara explains that she’s vulnerable to magic, surreptitiously pockets the arrow in case he needs to indulge in some light revenge murder later on.

Kara’s just happy to have people fawning over her again.

Civilian 1: Can you stand? Civilian 2: If you hadn’t shown up when you did… Kara [VO] The relief in their faces, the gratitude in their voices — this is why I needed to come here. Just to know I’m doing some good, to know that I’m wanted…

That’s why she needed to come here. Not to use her abilities to help people in imminent danger — to get a quick ego boost.

Greg confronts Kara about the Air Force One attack and demands to know if Kara killed his wife. And that’s when the giant Cyclops attacks.

Battling the monster, Kara engages in some more historical revisionism.

“Just this morning, I’d hoped the Amazons could accept me as one of their own. Then they unleashed these monstrosities on innocent people. I guess you never really know somebody until you meet their pets.”

Bull. Fucking. Shit. The Cyclopes were in the very first wave of attacks. Right before the Amazons got to mass-slaughtering civilians and setting literally all of Kansas on fire — all of which you knew about when you agreed to kidnap the president.

Greg grabs his gun and begins firing at the Cyclops while the others run for cover.

“And then there’s this guy, who has every reason to hate me. No way am I letting him die without getting a chance to tell him I’m sorry.”

So what I’m hearing is, you’re not protecting him because you care about humanity and believe passionately in using your extraordinary gifts to help others, you’re protecting him so you can feel better about yourself.

Kara saves Greg and catches the brunt of the Cyclops’ attack. She’s flung through the air, crashing through the wall of a childcare centre.

Kara [VO]: Oh, boy. They must’ve hidden here since the invasion started. Kara: Hey, is everybody okay? I didn’t mean to crash in like that, but I promise I’ll keep you safe. [pause] Hello? [pause] Doesn’t anybody have anything to say? Everyone: AHHHHHHHHH!!!!

The self-absorbed jerk is so busy fishing for some validation that she completely forgets about the huge fuck-off Cyclops advancing on the building.

Resolving that she won’t let innocents get hurt again, Kara tries to draw the Cyclops away, but the fight’s not going well. Greg mutters that it would “serve her right” if she got smashed to bits, then sighs and decides to help. He hands her the enchanted arrow and tells her to go for the eye, which works.

Kara thanks Greg, and he admits he was holding onto the arrow to kill her.

Greg: I… I was on the phone with her… You should’ve heard the fear in her voice… and Ranay, she’s not scared of anything… and then the plane crashes… and the line goes dead… Kara: I’m sooo sorry.

I know it’s intended to be for emphasis, but that elongated ‘so’ just reads as sarcastic.

They talk it out — blah blah wanted to fix things, blah blah the world is more complicated, blah blah that reminds me of my tour of duty in Somalia — and then Greg gets a phone call from his wife and she’s fine. All the while, Superman watches Kara paternalistically from above.

Next time: Catwoman infiltrates Lady ISIS!