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#And my anxiety won't shut up about how he's actually forgotten my bday and won't even wish much less send a gift
rosetta-stoned-bitch
·
1 year
Text
I feel like shit, too many straws on my back and one of them is def gonna break it
#Arushi rambles
#It's my bday soon and I've never had a lesser inclination to celebrate it
#God ugh
#My best friend isn't in town
#Neither is my boyfriend
#And my anxiety won't shut up about how he's actually forgotten my bday and won't even wish much less send a gift
#And recently we've been talking much less too since he went back to his hometown and we went long distance
#And it feels like I'm the only one who even wants to talk and it's starting to make me feel really really stupid. So stupid that I get angry
#Like I get its gotten really stressful. Since he is back home plus has this whole really frustrating job hunt going and it kinda makes sense
#To not always want to talk because of how frustrating life has been lately and I'm really trying to be understanding of it all
#But it feels horrible to pick up my phone at 2 in the afternoon and have absolutely 0 texts since last night
#Which was also me trying to initiate a casual conversation that we did not even end up having
#And it makes me want to completely stop initiating any conversation and it's making me want to stop putting in any kinda effort and ughhhh
#idk man
#I thought this would be different
#If he does forget my bday I don't think I'll stay with him. I'm not making the same mistakes here.
#I was an idiot to not recognise lack of efforts in the last one I'm certainly not doing it again
#No matter how fckn amazing and consistent he'd been the 4 months he was here.
#Maybe I should tell him I'm feeling like shit I know I should but whenever we talk he sounds so down and stressed already
#I really don't feel like adding on
#Ugh idk
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