#And och looked so silly too but I swear on my life if he is actually light blue I will fight god and fix this timeline myself.

[shays-shack]

arts I made to countdown to the new season

[bee-kathony]

Four Years | November 15th, 2014

January 2nd, 2014 - February 15th, 2014 - March 8th, 2014 - April 12th, 2014 - May 2nd, 2014 | Year One - June 13th, 2014 | July 29th, 2014 | August 9th, 2014 | October 18th, 2014

Year One - November 15th, 2014

Since the brain tumor and chemotherapy, my immune system wasn’t what it used to be. Which is why I was now laying in bed with a damp cloth covering my eyes, the fan on high and Jamie sniffling in bed next to me.

He woke this morning complaining of a headache and a runny nose. I knew to stay away from people who were ill as it would cause me to get sick but Jamie slept in my bed so there wasn’t any getting away from him.

While Jamie was running a low grade fever with a tissue box next to him, I was sweating bullets, body shaking from cold sweats and a bucket beside me to vomit in. It wasn’t a pleasant sight to see, the both of us. I wasn’t sick enough to go to the hospital however so it seemed I was confined to the bed for the time being.

“Jamie, for the love of God, please turn that down.” I begged for the second time. We’d turned on ‘The Office’ and had made it up to Season 3. But If I heard Michael Scott say “That’s what she said”, one more time…

The volume lessened and Jamie placed his hand on the side of my neck, “Still hot, Sassenach.”

“Why thank you, you’re not too bad yourself, Fraser.” I laughed, lifting up one side of the damp cloth. He grinned and replaced his hand with a piece of ice from the cup beside the bed. I gasped as the ice melted against my skin, it was the only thing that really helped keep my body temperature down.

Having a hot Scot lay next to you in bed didn’t help matters much. Jamie radiated heat, even when he wasn’t poorly.

The only good thing about lying in bed all day was the fact that Adso had come home just the week before. Geillis brought him over, along with his toys and he walked slowly into the loft at first but shot through to the bedroom and found the bed. That’s where he’d taken up residency since the moment he arrived, not that I minded.

Adso purred next to me as Jamie stroked his small grey belly. Having him here made me wish that he could’ve been with me all this time, keeping me company but I knew it would’ve been too difficult to take care of an animal when I could barely take care of myself.

“Is everyone happy that you’ve returned to work on a semi-regular schedule?” I asked, my throat still hoarse.

“Aye, Murtagh is happy to no’ have to make all the phone calls anymore and the rest of my team is happy because Murtagh is happy.” He chuckled, the vibrations shaking the bed. “’Tis nice to go back to work, more often I mean.” I felt his gaze on me, “No’ that I dinna mind spendin’ all my time wi’ ye.”

Jamie moved his hand to tap a gentle rhythm over my wrist, something he always did when we laid next to each other.

“I know you’re glad to get back to normalcy, I’ll be glad to start work again at the hospital,” I sighed, “But that won’t be for some time.” I moved the cloth back and stared at my hand, I could still see the slight tremor that hadn’t been there before the tumor. Funny how after you are “healed, the side effects often stay with you for longer than you were even sick.

Grabbing my shaking hand, Jamie pulled it to his burning lips, “One day, mo graidh, ye shall pick up a scalpel again. And all of this… will be a dream.”

“More like a nightmare, love.” I saw his eyes flash with an emotion I at first couldn’t recognize, then I realized it was insecurity… hurt.

“The sickness was a nightmare, Jamie. You,” I touched his cheek with the tips of my fingers, “are the dream. Sometimes I feel as if I’ve imagined you up to cope with the pain. A figment of my bloody imagination.”

“Aye, I often feel the same, Claire. Yer too good to be true.”

++++++

After dozing on and off throughout the rest of Season 3 and into Season 4 of ‘The Office’, Jamie got out of bed to grab a packet of crackers, the only food we both could keep down.

Adso didn’t appreciate the loud crunching sounds as crumbs fell onto the duvet so he meowed and retreated under the bed.

“Do ye miss yer parents, Sassenach?” Jamie asked and then spoke before I could, “Of course ye do, silly question.”

I looked up at him, my palm against his heart, “I do miss them, Jamie. All the time.” There wasn’t a day I didn’t think about my parents. I often thought about my mother when I had gone through chemo, drawing on her strength, willing for it to transfer to me.

“I was actually supposed to go with them, to Paris. But I wasn’t able to get the time off from the hospital so they left without me.”

“Yer parents went to Paris, Sassenach? The plane crashed on the way there?”

“No, coming back from Paris actually, why?”

Jamie shifted in the bed, “Do ye by chance remember their flight number?”

“I’ll never forget it. It was Air France flight 1743.” Jamie drew in a sharp breath, his body was shaking against me. “Jamie, what is it, you’re scaring me!”

He sat up in the bed quickly, a glossy look in his eyes. “Claire…” he looked over at me, his eyebrows pressed together, “that was the same flight I was on. From Paris to Edinburgh.”

“What day, Jamie? What day was the crash?” My heart was pounding, it couldn’t be. Of all the flights, of all the plane crashes. The next words out of Jamie’s mouth shook me to the core.

“April 16th, 2008.” He said flatly, his hand grabbing mine.

“That’s the day they died. That’s the day my mother and father died, Jamie.” I was frozen, paralyzed… nothing made sense. “I was supposed to be on that plane, I probably would’ve died along with them!”

Jamie pulled me onto his lap, “But ye didna and I feel selfish for sayin’ so but I’d like to thank God saved ye from gettin’ on that plane so I could have ye here wi’ me now.”

“God might’ve saved me then but he couldn’t save my parents. You barely made it out alive yourself. All this time…” Tears rolled down my cheeks. The thought of my parents sitting in the row ahead of Jamie was too much to bear. The idea that Jamie could’ve helped lift my mother’s bag to the overhead bin and she could have thanked him was too much. Perhaps they struck up a conversation about bad airplane food. Maybe my father even told Jamie about his daughter he was so proud of for getting into medical school in Edinburgh.

Jamie barely remembered the crash, there was no way of knowing.

“I ken yer probably thinking why them, Sassenach and why me? Why did I live and they couldna?” He held me, his voice distant.

“Jamie — I don’t blame you… for living.” I grabbed his face in my hand, gripping his cheeks with thumb and forefinger, “It was a horrible accident. Some part of me would like to think that you met my parents on that flight, maybe helped with their bags or just friendly conversation.”

Jamie pulled his arms tighter around me, a tear of his own now falling slowly, “It’s nice, to think that the two most important people in my life would have met the most important man in my life.” Making sure he was listening to me I kissed his lips and pulled back, his ocean blue eyes meeting my amber ones, “They left me that day Jamie but they also sent you to me. I believe that with all of my heart.”

“Claire — I wish I could remember.” He leaned his head against mine and sobbed. He cried for what was lost, the people he might or might not have met. The coincidences of life are often not coincidences but fate, one way or another fate has a way of bringing us to the people we need.

++++++

The revelation of Jamie’s and my parents connection was all I could think about. That was until a knock came from our front door and I heard it being opened with a set of spare keys.

Was it Jenny or Murtagh?

“Hello, it’s us! We brought some soup for the sickly.” Jenny called out and I heard the door shut behind her. I looked over at Jamie, with a stare that could kill any man.

“Did you tell your sister she could come over? I look dreadful, Jamie.” I covered my face with the cloth fully to avoid anyone seeing my puffy sick face.

“I might have told her we were both sick but I swear I didna think she would rush over,” Jamie shifted in bed so I slid off his lap and tried to clean up all the tissues on the bed.

“And we brought ye both a wee surprise!” Murtagh shouted.

I hit my hand against Jamie’s thigh, “Sorry Sassenach, truly.”

I heard both Jenny and Murtagh’s footsteps get closer and then I felt something warm and rather wet licking my fingers that were dangling off the bed.

“Adso, why are you licking my hand,” I sighed and pulled off the wet cloth. I jumped back against the headboard, my now slobbery hand pressed to my fast beating heart. “Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ!”

A small, very furry, multi-colored Australian Shepherd jumped onto the bed, courtesy of Murtagh who had been holding him near my hand.

“Please tell me this is your new dog, Murtagh…” Jamie glared at his godfather.

Murtagh scoffed and crossed his arms, “Och, no. ’Tis a gift for the both of ye, to cheer ye up!” He smiled and I could count that as one of the few times I had ever seen Murtagh Fraser smile.

“What on earth possessed you to gift us a dog? You could have brought some flowers or soup like Jenny!” I tried to be mad at this unwelcome gift but the little puppy was rolling around the bed as cute as anything I’d ever seen in my life.

Jenny walked in carrying a tray with two bowls of delicious smelling soup, smirking at the sight in front of her. Jamie was now cuddling the puppy, blowing air into it’s face.

“I tried to tell him that a dog wasna a suitable gift for people that were lying ill in bed but he wouldna listen… obviously.” Jenny smiled and set down the tray beside the bed. She gave a little pat to the dog and it barked — well, it yipped.

“If ye dinna want to keep her, I’ll just take her back to the shelter.” Murtagh started to reach for the dog but Jamie pulled his arms back, shielding her from Murtagh’s grasp.

“Ye’ll do no such thing!” Jamie placed a soft kiss to the dog’s fuzzy head. Then he turned to look at me, “Can we keep her, Sassenach? I ken yer still recovering and we only just got the wee cheetie back wi’ us but…” he smiled down at the dog whose tongue was hanging out of its tiny mouth and then they both stared up at me.

Could we really take on a dog? While I was no longer receiving chemotherapy treatments, I was still not back to my full health. I had talked with some of the people in my support group about pets which is why I had decided it was time for Adso to come home. Many of them said their pets were a huge help to their mental health.

I reached my hand out and rubbed the small dog’s head, “I suppose… adding a new member to the family wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. So yes,” I smiled and saw Jamie’s face light up, “We can keep her.”

Murtagh cheered — actually a loud whooping sound — and clapped his hands together. “I knew ’twas a good idea after all.” He said proudly.

“We’ll see just how good of an idea it is in a month,” the puppy made her way over to me and pawed at my lap and I pulled her up. “We need to give you a name then, hmmm.”

“Clarence?” Jamie suggested and I frowned at that one.

“No. That’s not a name for a girl puppy, Jamie. What about Annie?” I laughed and ran my fingers through Jamie’s ginger hair.

“Are ye laughin’ at me and my ginger hair?” He grinned.

“I most certainly am!” Jenny and Murtagh joined in the laughter and took seats at the end of our bed.

“Annie Fraser,” Jamie scratched Annie’s head and she started licking his fingers. “The name suits ye.”

Just like that, our small family of three became a family of four.