#Anyway yea weird how if ur treated subhuman u will do it to yourself sooo weird
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When I'm tired + when I'm sick + when I'm drunk , every feeling that I am in some way disfigured melts away cos the other stresses get strong PLUS right this has been a thing , therapy realm fr but I'll keep it concise, since I was a kid before it got insane like from "wow if I get a cut...it bleeds. And heals. Like others?" (Throw in self harm )And now oh my god the delight in seeing myself get old I'm like woahhh me toooo???? Its SO weird lol. Disassociation but also just . Fracture
#So yes I have this odd energy that's cos right hear me out#...not normal lmao#I have HATED This pain but its involved Me just being like right . That's it.#Anyway yea weird how if ur treated subhuman u will do it to yourself sooo weird#My childhood ...there was a year I didn't have proper toilet access living in a freezing conservatory that made extremities purple#hatto is like I can tell mum and dad I'm gay they're liberal and I'm like Excuse Me#Their evil is within them...think abt how they treated me#Mum was so physically violent w me#They could remember and wld casually bring it up and then she'd get angry at me for telling them when I hadn't#And they ask her abt it now for their cohesion ...dani said a few days ago#And she denies it all...it was a) real b) happening LMAO#What is this denial and gaslightinh its fucking insane#It's like the rapes! i literally the rapes atleast and her precious bro ..atleast it had a bit more played out solid story n made me leave#All this residue I'm forced to look at I'm so tired#The woman threw knives at me and I have a mark on my eyeball from when she threw me n the door handle hit my eye#And ur saying she never hit- lol#And I CANT AFFORD THERAPY#THIS WORLD MAn#Why me#Gonna go listen to blaketheman1000#The way I don't care that harm is behind me but the feelings n reminders alongside my siblings I can't build up I feel so bad#Tbt last April then I went on those holidays 😫 lord#No ofc I can build up but I can't talkkk abt it#But it's their reality. Actively
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