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floggingink · 6 years

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Riverdale, “Chapter Nineteen: Death Proof”

Death Proof is a great movie. there’s one man in it and he gets Pussycatted at the end. Vanessa Ferlito gives a lap dance. Zoё Bell’s abs have a starring role

Jughead is a Serpent now, so it must follow that he’s taking care of Hotdog voluntarily

did he take the couch? Jug took the couch. he’s writing again, so he’s got his groove back via an emotional plateau/Toni

Betty hung up and was like, Shit. SHIT!

Nick has a knife for...protection? cocktail garnishes?

Mrs. St. Clair seems thrilled to meet Betty and then not at all surprised that Nick has charges brought against him, the ennui of the ruling class

Betty gets a free pass for her suspicious appearance at the apartment for just having been that much of a pain to Sheriff Keller by now

I liked Betty’s tone of disappointed confusion when she says “You didn’t kill him.”

I don’t like BH talking about “nakedness” in any context, no matter who he turns out to be

I want to say those are Veronica’s shimmery blue pajamas?

Penelope’s icy disregard reverts Cheryl back to calling her “mommy,” which I think is like Cheryl’s PR thing? Cheryl continues to be fascinating. she’s called Penelope “mother,” hasn’t she? it’s all about context. it’s all about context with Cheryl

Jughead eats: at breakfast with Jug, Toni daintily eats fruit out of a parfait cup, like Veronica

Toni’s uncle locks her out of his house, so there’s that. the Serpents don’t have somewhere for her to sleep?

Jughead was honestly about to be like “Last night was…[fun/amazing, similar],” because that’s what people do in Bridget Jones and he’s flying without a net here

Every triangle has three corners, every triangle has three sides: in a remarkable turn, Toni puts an end to the whole affair, because she has better things to do (girls), which is a stress off everyone’s shoulders

Jughead’s “not over Betty” because it was like six hours ago?

also props for the classic bad girl-bisexuality revelation. it doesn’t get badder (it’s GOOD). this is PRECISELY what I want but now I want optical proof

Betty is done with the BH’s “Simon Says”

The Blossom spawn: “the people” at “the Farm” (CAPITALIZED in the closed captioning!) will help Polly “disappear” for while? I’m gonna need a Farm episode pronto. what the HELL is THE FARM

Archie checks up on Betty in the morning and takes care of her of best he can, because this is a Good Archie episode. Good Archie wants to know why Betty hasn’t fixed it with Veronica yet. Good Archie never lets you walk alone. Good Archie stops you from walking into your ex’s brunch

Certified pedigree: the sheer SPREAD of personalities at Alice’s living room shaming. the mayor and the sheriff and their felon children. BOTH Lodges showed up. can Fred handle any more disappointment? Reggie has a parent?? what’s next!!!

Nick’s party was “bacchanalian,” so it’s probably best Alice only saw Jughead’s birthday party from across the yard

Mädchen Amick, MÄDCHEN AMICK: “Except for my Betty”

I’VE HAD SOME WINE LET’S GET THIS BITCH DONE

SUCCUBUS VERONICA IS GREAT VERONICA. ARCHIE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT A SUCCUBUS IS

I relate to Kevin because “HASHTAG BUGHEAD IS NO MORE?” is coincidentally what I woke up screaming two Thursdays ago

Hiram says “ACID QUEEN ALICE” because there’s something in Riverdale’s water that just gives you that kind of inspiration!!!! apparently he knows some shit about her too!!! everybody’s parents seem to “know” about Alice. she’s got a lot of attitude for someone whose secrets EVERYONE KNOWS

—just like Betty!

“The Southside is the source of all our problems.” HOW’S THAT, HIRAM? because your northside succubus children were the ones who tossed it back like green apple sugar powder in a Baby Bottle Pop

Archie’s 180 with “Not all Serpents are dealers” is the kind of whiplash Archie is capable of. he knows he fucking broke up with his boy. fucking fix it with Jughead you twit before he gets a bigger tattoo

The 2001 Josie and the Pussycats movie was a masterpiece: Josie was SO HOPING she would get out of there with plausible deniability!

Jughead is like NODDING ALONG with every word Mr. Phillips reads, waiting to be abandoned

I’m writing a scene where it’s gay.: JUG LEAVES THE INSTANT HE GETS A CAPSLOCK TEXT FROM THE BOY HE LOVES

he interrupts a totally warranted scolding from his beloved English teacher to PROBABLY get reamed again by Archie, but he CAN’T RESIST WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN

Archie coming to get Jughead is probably Archie’s “WHAT’S UP IS I SAW YOU, ARCHIE” moment. it’s not equivalent but rather proportional in that you know this is the best I could hope for from Archie, but also—I don’t want to shortchange him! he went to the scary school where everyone hates him, through the metal detectors (OR NOT!!!!!!), and stood dithering in the hallway until he saw his Jughead!!!!!!! HE CAME TO RESCUE JUGHEAD

this is a great example of Archie’s hands-on “justice,” which is sometimes more in quotes than other times, but he didn’t CALL Jughead, you know, he ran over there! fuck! FUCK! WHEN ARCHIE IS GOOD HE IS VERY VERY GOOD

Archie is like hauling him out by the fleece collar too, like Jug wants to get Toni, and Archie, his arms locked around Jughead’s waist, teenage boys scrambling

What damn high school in America: Sweet Pea punches the locker when he gets arrested, because of injustice

I think Veronica would have listened to Betty if Kevin had not interrupted!

“She’s not worth it” is way harsh, Tai, but Betty did seemingly attack her out of nowhere

anyway of course Betty answers the phone, because she’s stressed, down two friends, and doesn’t want to have done all that for no reason

the “Sugar Man”? the “Sugar Man”? SUGAR MAN

if one more person tells Jughead that the Serpents deal jingle-jangle, he’s going to absolutely blow a gasket

“Tall Boy wants to parley” is going to be a code sentence of mine for something. if we’re on the phone and it suddenly sounds like I’ve dropped it and you just hear “TALL BOY WANTS TO PARLEY!!!!,” the Winter Solider is there

Fifth period is AP English: Cheryl is sunbathing, in the shade, outside Thistle House reading Baudelaire because...it helps her feel calm…

Cheryl’s sheaths: I want to say those sick black sunglasses are Miu Mius

“Is there no memory, however traumatic, you won’t defile?” is an Alice-level read

oh, Fred would like to know how Jughead’s doing? ISN’T THAT NICE, YOU PRAWN

I’ve seen Brick like thirty times: Malachi’s House of the Dead is exactly what I wish I’d had the guts to make my dorm room look like, like all the cool lesbians’ rooms in the art majors’ dorm building, like the cellars of the Opéra Populaire but in the Strand

Gay?!: quick question: if Tall Boy weren’t here, would Malachi be fucking Jughead?

Cheryl had so seamlessly incorporated the Sugar Man into her emotional life as a first grader that she drew a family picture with him in it, like in Children of the Corn (her parents are two TINY stick figures in the background, it’s incredible)

is Sheriff Keller letting Betty have “one question” a red herring? asking for Jughead

the zoom in on Betty looking at Veronica and the cut to her audibly sipping on a milkshake is classic art

Veronica is right that Betty needs to “break up” with BH, but Betty’s Bettiness instead makes her want to “turn the tables on him”

HOW EASY WAS THIS CONVERSATION, BETTY. YOU COULD HAVE JUST TALKED TO THEM TWENTY-FOUR HOURS AGO

OH MY GOD! Jughead and Archie, together again, it’s been like THIRTY YEARS!!!!!

Archie knows why Jughead joined the Serpents, has learned some lessons maybe? (no)

the second god-blessed cut to Archie (in his letterman jacket) and Jughead (fleeced, his man-about-town look) with the prison phones to their ears

“SP-24601”: FP Jones played by Hugh Jackman would be a sight to behold

poor FP has lost everything except his honor and now he’s lost his SON. his hair is such a mess. he’s gotta SLAM THE PHONE

“Ghoulies dress like fops” is great

they drive hearses, like Claire Fisher

“RIVERDALE DRIFT”? Jughead did NOT watch that franchise? (Archie’s expression is fantastic)

FP’s like, I hate that you joined my gang, but now you’re going to break some laws for me

Penelope eats hard boiled eggs with toast soldiers

the Caravaggio reproduction I liked from the wake escaped the fire!

did Penelope know about the drugs? I thought she didn’t know but I guess just knew the Sugar Man was sketchy and avoided him for Legal Reasons

“I wouldn’t even go cruising here.”

Reggie DOES look good in the county’s blue vest

I hope the reason Betty’s avoiding talking to Jughead, LIKE ARCHIE KEEPS TELLING HER TO DO, is because it’s too important and she’s scared to see him

Veronica’s purple pumps

God bless jingle-jangle: Verne the JJ dealer is a cutie!

you know he’s a Ghoulie because he hand-stitched a leopard-print patch onto his studded sleeveless vest

Veronica was rich: $150 for two stix of the JJ??? this is how you know it’s the northside kids with the drug problems!

“Drugstore Cowboy”

Sexy, aesthetic Southside: these angels hot glue the ends of the stripey jingle-jangle sticks, because it’s a family-owned business. I kind of love the Ghoulies? like I’d rather hang out at Malachi’s than the Whyte Wyrm from what I’ve seen so far, as long as I get my next tetanus shot first

Jughead calls Archie his “boy” to impress Malachi, Archie is wearing his Riverdale jacket probably without thinking about the political symbolism

I couldn’t believe Maggie Kiley had the audacity to stage the “Veronica/Betty?” “Archie/Jughead?” face-to-face, but she’s this season’s Lee Toland Krieger, she is an artist

Y’ALL REALLY GONNA TAKE JUGHEAD’S FIFTH HOME AWAY FROM HIM?

“SHARON”?????????

Cheryl’s red crop top and paisley trousers

“an unrepentant spore”

Penelope is Cheryl’s “cobra-like mother”

I swear Graham Phillips was darling on The Good Wife

Archie approached Reggie for the car and Betty approached Jughead about fixing it, and that’s that

Jughead consented to sulk next to her while she tuned it up, because he loves her but he’s mad

and it’s okay that he’s mad, for the record, because he’s been broken up with three times in two days

his voice cracks, preciously, when he’s like YEAH AND YOU BROKE UP WITH ME

I love how pissy and curt Jughead gets when he’s peeved. “You just called it a date.”

I’m curious about “You did the one thing that could hurt me.” EVERYTHING hurts Jughead

Betty’s in denim overalls and Jughead’s in a mechanic shirt for no reason except they’re next to cars

Cheryl is getting some grade-A maple syrup this episode! leveraging the St. Clairs’ check for dirt on the Sugar Man? GIRL

The female gaze: Veronica slept with Archie one last time because he literally might die today

aw, he’s proud of Veronica for her Ghoulie stunt

Hiram and Hermione are LITERALLY playing chess

OKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY WHEN VERONICA SAID “HE TRIED TO DO IT TO ME,” EVERYONE IN THE ROOM WATCHING WITH ME WHEN HIRAM LOOKED UP WAS LIKE OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SHIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!!! I’M TELLING YOU!!!!!

Hiram is about to rip someone’s face off with his teeth and Hermione steps into frame and it rack focuses on her, GENIUS

These students are legally children: I want to say Tall Boy is the only adult at the race. the FP at Jughead’s party, if you will

Best costume bit: everyone of course looks fucking incredible at the race. the Ghoulies? slick and absurd dandies. Kevin’s powder blue bomber jacket? he’s not at Needle Park, and he’s cruising. Betty’s high-waisted post-WWII skinny Express trousers? she knows Jughead’s looking. Cheryl’s $1,000 leather jacket and Quentin Tarantino foot-fetish slingback? she knows I’m looking. and Jughead in all black? Jughead looks GREAT in leather. Betty, write this down

Fwoopy hair is the best hair: Betty’s bandana and ponytail

Please protect Betty: Veronica and Archie get to make out, while Betty and Jughead have to make do with Betty telling him she can never stop loving him and to drive good

Jughead doubts it: Jughead’s “You’re an enigma, Cooper” is the second-greatest thing he has ever said to her, after “That was haunting, Betty.”

so Jughead can drive? Jughead can drive STICK?

Toni and Sweet Pea got out on 1) lack of evidence or 2) Penny Peabody threatening someone

Gay.: Toni got a face full of Cheryl and she’ll be back. Toni, save Cheryl from the evils of this world

Cheryl’s a chaos angel from hell: Cheryl was ABSOLUTELY “born for this moment”

Sixth period is Intro to Film: I know this is Grease, and I can appreciate Jughead being the Danny Zuko of this moment, but I don’t want to forget the chicken run from Rebel Without a Cause, where Natalie Wood starts the race with only her elated sky-high jump and tiny 50’s waist

Jughead gives Cheryl a thumbs-up and Malachi makes the rock-and-roll index-and-pinky signal

Cheryl’s hair: God, the see-through scarf? her immaculate cutout shirt? her Jesus Christ Superstar heavenward arms? CHERYL WAS BORN FOR THIS MOMENT

I don’t think Jughead is shifting gears

BUT HE IS HAVING A GREAT TIME!

oh NOW you say “abort”

Archie > Dawson: TURNS OUT ARCHIE HAD A GREAT PLAN! WOWZERS

Jughead can drive very well, has very strong arms, and can run very fast. these things I didn’t know!

okay but the race is forfeit, right? buys them some time, maybe

Betty and Veronica watching Jughead go lite-ballistic from stress and Archie being like, Dude, dude, calm down, like something was not right with the world (Archie did a great job)

although Jughead is right that the power politics are complicated and everyone is in danger, although it was frankly that way before

I liked Archie using a chessboard analogue. Veronica is rubbing off on him

is Betty getting a ride home with Reggie? classic

“Careful you don’t get burned again.” ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

Penelope’s left hand makes her so uncomfortable that she wears ONE leather glove

when one Sugar Man retires, another seamlessly takes his place, like the Dread Pirate Roberts

“Damn good coffee”: fucking correct me if I’m fucking wrong, but is that the nightmare painting hanging over the fucking fireplace?

Cheryl hands the check back over, because as you will remember Cheryl honors business deals, but Penelope decides to be “a mother”

Pop’s trademark blue purgatorial lighting bathes the girls in their plotting booth

The Blue & Gold is basically just Betty’s awesome blog at this point

her “Care to comment?” is WICKED though

Betty has resolved to find BH, which means he has about three episodes left. the Serpents should really start involving Betty in their maneuverings, as she is just as much a hereditary Serpent as Jughead and much more effectual

50 Shades of Betty: SHE’S BREATHING DOWN HIS NECK AND SHE LOVES IT. this is her driving fast! they love danger!!!!!!

was Mr. Phillips protecting Jughead by telling him to stay away from the drug world??? (I mean obviously he was, but because Phillips was an insider and liked Jughead and didn’t want to have to kill him) or did he just not want Mini Woodward and Bernstein on the case?

he and Jughead make the exact same sort of grimly resolved/horrified eye contact, respectively, as FP and Jughead when FP got arrested last season

Toni TOTALLY knows this shattered something of Jughead’s Southside foundation. look at her little smile

Archie thinks his plan with the race backfired and he’s worried he’s losing Jughead, PUNKIN

Fred’s popping Chekhov’s Valiums, so he’s about to be addicted to drugs

I can’t even do it out here with the fucking Lodges sitting around their cream salon with Andre being like, the St. Clairs are dead or whatever, ma’am, and Hermione’s like, Thank you Andre, go get yourself something nice

Summer + Blair = Veronica: Veronica’s like, I HAVE HAD A STRESSFUL DAY AND IT MAKES ME FEEL POWERFUL

“CHECKMATE,” HIRAM? HIRAM, HAVE YOU MURDERED? DID YOU JUST MURDER?

Betty and Jughead I want to say are back together, but they did not kiss this episode, which means I have to start over with the tally marks on my wall

Betty’s reading The Silence of the Lambs, to better figure out what her game is going to be (Jughead had a copy)

Jughead looks over at her like, Damn. My girlfriend is fucking scary. I fucking love my girlfriend

SUGAR GETS GOT!!!!!!!! BODY COUNT OFFICIALLY TWO! he’s almost caught up to Hiram Lodge

NEXT WEEK: Sheriff Keller does me a solid and takes his shirt off

#riverdale #i say #commentary #tropes

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antfull · 7 years

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10 Albums To Hear Before You Die

2016 was the year I finally listened to music. I set myself a target of listening to every album I owned. For years I had always been a journey man listener, listening to compilations and greatest hits. With an interest in 60-70s music there’s so much to listen to, it’s time consuming to get around to listen to back catalogues. I used to make Spotify playlists and only listened to songs I really loved. I felt like this type of listening has its negative effect though, listening to your favourite songs over and over can get tiresome, I hate it when you start to skip that song you once adored. I took it upon myself to actually listen to every album I had collected over the years, often sourcing all time greatest hits lists and user contributed lists. My goal was to listen to every album from start to finish and rate each album out of 5.

It was the year I truly started to appreciate the studio album. I used to always have that typical simplistic approach to studio albums - of only liking 1-3 hits. After taking the time to listen to a bunch of albums, I found that studio albums have characteristics that a collection album will never have - such as flow, structure and concept. I love how I start like the lesser known songs and sometimes they even become my favourites. Some artists I found were definitely superior when it came to curating a studio album even if it meant having lesser well known tracks, the overall experience from the album would be far greater. When a studio album comes off great, it’s a rewarding feat. The list may seem very vanilla classic rock - but these albums are truly classics and I sincerely recommend listening to them at least once in your life.

1. Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band - The Beatles (1967)

I’ve listened to this album a few times over the years, but it was at some point in November when I listened to this album again that it struck me and I thought, “Wow, this album is incredible”. I’ve often seen it touted as one of the best albums of all time and I now tend to agree. It was a huge achievement in their career, the days of touring had ended and all focus was on producing solid albums. 2016 made me a even bigger Beatles fan, I watched a half dozen documentaries on the boys from Liverpool. I found their life and rise to fame truly exceptional, but what keeps me really interested is the music and their cohesion as a group through the madness they endured. This album does actually feature hit after hit. The Beatles reinvented what an album could achieve, they used the studio as an instrument in itself. The album artwork became one of the most recognised pieces in the world. The Beatles transformed rock and roll.

2. Abbey Road - The Beatles (1969)

Another Beatles album? Damn right. These boys knew how to make albums. This album is also personal to me. I once worked as a decorator with my Grandfather, we worked at this place in St John’s Wood and we would drive over Abbey Road zebra crossing every day. My Grandfather on multiple occasions, would remind me that this is where The Beatles took a famous picture for an album and recorded their music here. At the time The Beatles weren't really on my music radar, so my reaction was always “yeah cool, Granddad”. I always remember seeing people outside the studio taking photos and writing on the wall, which gets repainted on a regular occurrence. A few years later it hit me the massive significance of this place - a holy grail of music.

Although the album is the penultimate of the Beatles releases, it was actually recorded last. It’s somewhat saddening listening knowing that this was the last recording they would do together as a four, but boy, did they pull it off once again. The album features great hits at the start but my favourite part is the ending of the album, The Beatles took half finished songs and created a medley to finish the album and to great effect.

3. The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars - David Bowie 1972

It’s a pop masterpiece which doubles as an interesting concept album. What’s interesting is that even as a concept album the songs in their own right make for great solo songs. David Bowie has such a plethora of strong albums, I spent most of the later part of the year listening to most of them. He certainly has one of the most strongest studio collections of any artist. Ziggy Stardust is definitely the one that stands out the most. I would argue that this is the most approachable album on the list. My personal favourites are ‘Moonage Daydream’ and ‘Ziggy Stardust’.

4. Who’s Next - The Who 1971

The Who probably earn their place as my favourite band. I could sit here and say the catalogues of The Beatles and Led Zeppelin were stronger, and even some of the instrumental abilities of Page and Harrison were better than that of Townsend, you could even argue that with the leading vocals. Although for me it still doesn't distract from the fact that The Who still knew how to rock. Their raw fiery passion and amazing live performances (I’ve seen them twice) will keep me a listener for years to come. The Who had great personality and their sometimes explosive literal performances define who they are.

Who’s Next is the very definition of a Rock album. This album came sandwiched between two other great albums, the rock opera’s of Tommy and Quadrophenia but Who’s Next’s lively and highly energetic sounds just cannot be missed. The album opens and closes on two powerful tracks, one of which is my favourite song of all time. I can often praise The Beatles for being creative and experimental with their albums but Pete Townsend does it to create effect here with his use of synthesisers.

5. Led Zeppelin II - Led Zeppelin 1969

Led Zeppelin were the first band were I downloaded a vast majority of their studio albums. I remember putting most of their discography on my ipod and listening to it on the train while at University. I found Led Zeppelin had a listening curve. Their deep tracks take a bit of getting used to but I soon became a Zeppelin fanatic.

I personally love build up songs. Songs that start off slow and mellow but gradually the tempo increases, the volume increases and the song hits it’s climax. Led Zeppelin strike this to great effect a few times on this album in various ways. ‘Bring it on Home’ and ‘Ramble On’ and perfect examples of songs that hit that note.

The album is most memorable for it’s opening track ‘Whole Lotta Love’, which is probably the most Led Zeppelin tune around. By the way there’s only one way to listen to Led Zeppelin and that’s loud.

6. Led Zeppelin IV - Led Zeppelin 1971

Most Zeppelin fans will argue that Led Zeppelin IV is their best album and it’s hard to argue that. Some say IV is a return to form for Led Zeppelin after a slight experimentation with Led Zeppelin III, which was more of a folk rock album. The track ‘Rock and Roll’ is that most bad ass song ever. It was created as a response to critics who said they couldn’t rock anymore. Overall the album is just rock and roll euphoria. It’s incredible to think that in the space of just 3 years that band created 4 showpiece albums. Led Zeppelin were just the coolest band, even their album artwork reflects that. They didn’t plaster their image over the cover, or even include their name, yet their albums still were best sellers. Everyone knew Led Zeppelin.

The entire band was firing on all cylinders during the recording of the fourth studio effort. It’s their most complete album and a showcase to their instrumental abilities.

7. All Things Must Pass - George Harrison 1970

This was the only album I was contemplating to include. I’m a big Rolling Stones fan and it was hard not to include a single Stones album. Although I cannot omit the single best solo album from a Beatle. Paul and John did have a few great solo albums but they all just miss out when comparing it to this classic LP. A triple album which finally released George from the shackles of the Beatles. As the years advanced so did his song writing ability. George now a solo artist, put together a masterpiece of an album. He takes you on his spiritual journey with songs like ‘My Sweet Lord’ and ‘Hear Me Lord’. Some songs are also a middle finger up to Lennon-McCartney with ‘Wah-Wah’ and ‘All Things Must Pass’.

Take your time to listen to this. It’s sweet and personal. It’s a weird but magical effect.

8. Blood on the Tracks - Bob Dylan 1975

Die hard Dylan fans would recommend the early albums but for me, this is where the magic is. It’s a personal album for Bob Dylan linking the difficult times he had with his wife. It’s for sure, the most listenable of his albums. He has since said that this album is not a autobiography of his life at the time. Some tracks on the album make you think otherwise, with lyrics that seem straight from the heart. Overall it’s an fantastic listen with ‘Meet Me In the Morning’ my favourite.

9. Graceland - Paul Simon 1986

Not many great pop albums will include huge influences from other cultures and still keep it’s quality high for the pop masses, but Paul Simon uses his western folk roots to blend with South African music.

Paul Simon creates a joyous and warm celebration of music. As simple as it sounds, this album just makes me happy, it’s such an enjoyable listen and it includes one of my favourite songs to get up and groove to. ‘You Can Call Me Al’. I love the origin of the songs title. Composer and conductor Pierre Boulez while at a party kept referring Paul and his wife as Al and Betty. Graceland is an album I always come back to. I get to thank my Dad for getting me into Paul Simon.

10. London Calling - The Clash 1979

I’m not normally a fan of double albums, I always feel even with great double albums there are songs that could be removed and make for a terrific 12 track LP. London Calling on the contrary is an exception. It may take non punk rock fans a few listens to get into, but once your in, it leads to a brilliant and engaging album. London Calling isn't just a punk rock album, it explores reggae, rockabilly, ska, R&B, pop and jazz.

The Clash help rise punk rock out of its confined corner into a much broader music world. It’s probably the album I find myself playing single songs off the most. Most people will know the title track ‘London Calling’ but for me, songs like ‘Train in Vain’ and ‘The Right Profile’, keep me coming back.

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