#As well as helping make some more permanent that angels can't wave away

[sastiel-is-my-serotonin]

Sam with lots of tattoos on his back, and higher up on his arms, to help hide them. A lot of them are protection spells, more anti possession, not trusting the one on his chest to stay after... There's one no one really notices on the back of his neck, hidden behind his hair that says, "No."

[lovelytarou]

caffeinated love

pairing: nishinoya yuu x reader

genre: fluff, slight angst

tags: coffee shop!au, barista!noya, noya & reader being whipped for each other

a/n: dedicated to my beautiful, loving, sweet and supportive wife @chibishae34 💖💞❤️💕 i hope you liked this surprise and i did your bb noya justice! :c

it was a perfectly sunny day.

it was too perfect, you might add. the scene in front of you could easily fit into a studio ghibli movie, the only thing missing are the animated characters, and the soft piano music that usually accompanied the films.

you don't know what made you look at life with rose-colored lenses today, it might be because you're in a good mood, or you woke up on the right side of the bed, or the wind just brought some positive air to you. whatever it is, you're thankful for it.

you're walking around campus with a skip on your steps, a smile on your face as you grinned at the people you passed and the surroundings. to some people, it might come off as creepy, or even weird, but no one is going to ruin your mood today. not when you're so close to having your coffee.

a bigger smile tugged at your lips, looking up at the café in front you – its bold, intricate sign you're familiar with and the welcoming aura beckoning you in.

Crows' Cabin.

your favorite café that serves the best coffee ever in your campus. you couldn't have asked for more. they got your coffee right, the perfect amount of sweetness, the tinge of bitterness, and the smooth feel of the cream like a warm blanket on a cold day. not to mention, their staff is pretty welcoming and friendly, too.

what you loved most about this place is the fact that you can study in peace and the fast wi-fi that they have. it has the perfect atmosphere to do a little studying while you sip your coffee.

walking inside, you pushed the doors open, letting it emit a small ringing sound as it announces your arrival. the usual silver-haired cheery guy that greets you when you come in isn't standing in his usual post. instead, a short guy with bleached streaks greeted you with a lively energy that almost shocked you to the core.

you can't help but think how cute he looks, and walked closer cautiously to the counter.

“hello! welcome to crows' cabin! what can i getcha, cutie?” he gave you a big grin, leaning on the counter with his arm. you blinked in surprise, taken aback by his ecstatic greeting and chuckling lightly.

“hey, uh...is sugawara not here?” you probably sounded rude, but if there's a new guy on his stead, you could only guess that he's going to get your coffee wrong. at least, that's what you think.

he let out a humming sound, his face scrunching up as he thinks with his index finger and thumb under his chin. your heart skipped a beat. he couldn't get any cuter.

“i heard sugawara changed shifts because of his hectic schedule and all,” he explained, waving his arms about. “but you're lucky you're stuck with me! so, what do you want? coffee, tea, or me?” he gave you a wink after his question.

despite the nag of disappointment at the news of sugawara not being able to take your order anymore, it was quickly replaced by giddiness at the presence of this energetic boy in front of you.

before you could answer, however, the other staff with shaved hair that you quickly recognized as tanaka ryuunosuke, emerged from the kitchen and shook his head at his co-worker's antics.

“oi, stop flirting with the customer and take their order already!” he scolded, slapping the boy with the small towel he's holding on the head, earning a yelp.

“ukai-san won't be happy to know that you're trying to pick up chicks while on the job, you know.” tanaka's quip made your cheeks heat up. although, it seemed like the smaller guy is flirting with you, it was probably how he greets all the customers that comes in the café.

yet, the thought of him asking you out isn't too bad at all.

he's pretty attractive, you'll admit that. he's got mesmerizing, big, brown eyes that looks like it can pierce through your soul the longer you looked at them, and not to mention his fiery personality that greeted you the moment you entered.

“i can't help it, ryuu. they just looked so cute! who am i to deny our pretty customer our special service?” he wiggled his eyebrows at you suggestively. god, you wanted the ground to swallow you whole.

“leave the poor customer alone, idiot. look at them, they're too red already!” it definitely didn't help that tanaka made a comment on how flustered you seem to get over his co-workers flirtatious advances.

“i-i'll get the usual, please...” you managed to croak out despite the embarrassment you felt, immediately sliding the exact amount to the counter.

the boy tilted his head at you in confusion, “the usual...?”

oh, right. he's new.

ignoring your flushed cheeks and rapidly beating heart, you murmured how you liked your coffee all the while his piercing gaze is intently staring at you, giving you his undivided attention while you explain your order passionately.

“uh, no– wait, that's probably too complicated. i'll just get that one instead–” he waved his hand dismissively at your panicked ramblings.

“nah, no need. i already memorized your order, angel face.” with one final wink at you, he went to the back to prepare your coffee.

“why don't you settle in and get comfortable while i prepare your drink?” he called over his shoulder.

tanaka could only watch the commotion with fond, proud gaze as he went back to his own station.

꘎♡━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♡꘎

during the afternoon, the crows' cabin don't have many patrons unlike in the mornings and evenings. usually, they were back in their classes or offices, and sometimes will only grab a quick bite before heading out.

this is the most peaceful moment, in your opinion, in the café. you hummed along to the song playing on the speakers as you typed away for your essay that is due tomorrow. yeah, it might not be healthy to cram when it's due tomorrow, but with how busy you are, can you really blame yourself?

what's important is you're doing it now instead of putting it away and procrastinating like you always do.

your fingers stopped typing as you gazed out the window, thinking of what to write next. amid the staring absently at nothingness, the boy from the counter approached you. he placed the cup from the tray beside you on a coaster.

“thanks, uh...” shoot, you didn't get his name. you don't remember tanaka mentioning it, too.

he seemed to have read your mind as he laughed, eyes crinkling at the sides as he threw his head back. you can't help but stare at him, he's such a ball of sunshine. any moment now and you're sure your heart will burst because of this guy.

“my name's nishinoya yuu, nice to meet you, uhm...” he stretched his hand out, which made you chuckle. you accepted it, shaking his hand as you introduced yourself.

nishinoya rubbed the back of his head, his cheeks flushing, “that's a pretty name.” he murmured, eyes casting off to the side as the thought of how warm and soft your hands are overtaking his mind.

before he could get carried away, he cleared his throat and looked at you expectantly.

“anyway, i'm excited about what you think of the coffee i made!” he bounced on his heels from where he stood, excitement jittering his bones.

rolling your eyes playfully, you cracked a smile at his excited expression and brought the cup to your lips to take a sip.

time seemed to have stopped as nishinoya watched you take another sip of coffee. you, on the other hand, couldn't believe that he made it just how you like it despite the first time making it for you. the slight smirk didn't escape your notice as you let out an appreciative hum upon the taste.

“so?” he leaned a little close to you, anticipation written all over his cute face.

“i gotta hand it to you, nishinoya. you did well, maybe even better than sugawara’s,” his chest seemed to puff up at your praise which you found endearing. so he likes to be complimented.

“of course! who else can make your coffee if not also the best barista in crows' cabin?” he boasted, thumbs pointing at himself. you can't help the laughter that bubbled out of you. he's such a refreshing presence in such a familiar place. and you're here for it.

he felt his heart clench as he smiled at your laughing figure, one thought only occupying his mind: he wanted to see you smile and laugh more.

he glanced at the clock on the wall, noticing that it'd be a few hours left before his shift ends and until then he still has a lot to do. even if it makes him sad, he has to go back to work and part from you. although, he hopes not permanently.

“anyways, enjoy your coffee! don't work too hard! and uh, call me yuu.” he gave you one last smile before he went back behind the counter.

yuu.

his name kept repeating over and over inside your head, a smile on your face as you looked down at your cup of coffee.

you're definitely going to keep coming back here.

꘎♡━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♡꘎

the next time you went back to the café, nishinoya perked up like an overexcited dog. his face immediately lit up at the sight of you. the relief that washed over you was something that you kept thinking about as you made your way to the counter, a grin splitting your face.

why were you so glad to find out that he's here?

“hey, it's you again. how are you doing today?” he greeted, already buzzing to life at the mere sight of you.

“i'm great, actually. and you?”

“it's been a long day, but it's all better now that you're here, cutie.” he chuckled at the way you became flustered in seconds after he called you a pet name.

“you're not too bad yourself, yuu. i'll take–”

“–the usual. i already memorized it, remember?” he replied, seeing the puzzled look on your face.

“right. yeah, sorry.” you facepalmed yourself softly, shaking your head at your forgetfulness. “it's just...i've been working too hard so i probably forgot,”

“i have just the thing, now go get cozy and i'll bring your drink!”

you took that as your cue to find your seat. today was pretty hectic for you, especially since you have to catch up to the nearing deadlines. taking a seat, you immediately opened up your laptop and began to work.

not half an hour later, a cup was placed in front of you, along with nishinoya sitting at the opposite chair which made you quirk an inquisitive eyebrow at the boy.

“what are you doing?”

“it's okay, i have my break at this time.” he then placed a bag beside your laptop, “on the house, a little birdie told me that it's your favorite,” he sheepishly rubbed at his nape, avoiding your gaze.

opening the bag, you find out that it's one of your favorite pastries inside. you can't help the soft gasp leaving your mouth at the kind gesture.

“oh, thank you so much! i've been craving these lately.” you gave him a grateful smile, biting down on your favorite treat. it still tasted just as good, but what really warmed your heart was the thought of nishinoya purposely asking sugawara for your favorite pastry and you can't help but add it to one of the things you like about him.

wait...like?

you couldn't help but choke at your own thoughts to which nishinoya shot you a concerned look. once you calmed down, you noticed that he kept glancing back at the wall clock then back at you then down at his fiddling hands.

“what's wrong?” you asked through a mouthful of food. yuu chuckled at the sight and shook his head.

“can i borrow a pen?” confused, you gave him one anyway. he grabbed the bag that your food was placed in, scribbling on it.

“thanks, i gotta go back now. break's over. bye!” he jogged back to his station and you were left weirded out by his actions. not only when you were preparing to leave the café did you notice the small note at the other side of the paper bag.

nishinoya yuu

xxx-xxx-xxx :)

you exited the café with your stomach and heart feeling full.

꘎♡━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♡꘎

“do you think they liked the treat? will they even text back?” nishinoya paced back and forth in their small staff room.

“what if they didn't read the note?!” he gasped, stopping in his tracks as he bites his nails in anxiety.

sugawara laughed at his junior's predicament, “relax! of course they'd love the treat, i did tell you it was their favorite. as for the number, you should probably be a little more patient with that, noya.” he advised, placing an assuring hand on noya's shoulder.

as if possessed by a spirit, nishinoya perked up and his agitated self was replaced with determination.

“you're right. i shouldn't worry about it too much. they'll come around!” as soon as he said that, his phone's ringtone resonated in the small space.

on his screen was an unknown number and he immediately knew it's you.

without wasting another moment, nishinoya picked up the phone and answered the call.

“h-hello, y/n?” he internally cursed at himself for stuttering.

“–john? is that you? how's your mother–”

dumbstruck, nishinoya abruptly ended the call and placed his phone on the table.

“what happened? what did they say?” sugawara inquired, eager to know what happened between the two.

“it's not them.” nishinoya deflated like a balloon, covering his face with his palms.

was he reading this right? what if you don't see him that way? what if he was just forcing himself on you and in reality you don't really reciprocate the emotions he felt whenever you enter the café?

with a little more positivity from his seniors and tanaka telling him that he shouldn't lose hope, nishinoya decided to go home feeling less energetic than usual.

it was not around midnight that he received a call from an unknown number. he hated that he felt excited, that maybe, just maybe at the other end it was you.

picking it up slowly, he breathed in and out, counting to five before he answered the call.

“hello, yuu? it's y/n. sorry i called at a time like this,”

his eyes lit up at the sound of your familiar voice. even through the phone it sounded as beautiful as ever.

he almost stumbled over the scattered clothes and mess that littered his bedroom floor when it is indeed you that called him, landing on his bed.

“y/n? it's really you! uh, don't worry about it. i'm not sleeping yet...totally not because i was waiting on you or anything!”

your laughter brought butterflies fluttering in his stomach, oh how he'd love to hear that sweet sound everyday. it got him smiling too as he listened to it.

“i'm sorry for making you wait. i was just busy with my studies and all...but, i've decided.”

“decided...on what?”

there was a pregnant pause on the other end, he thought that you might ended the call or something. but then you spoke up again.

“i wanna go on a date with you.”

he must be in heaven because there is no way in hell or earth that you'd want to go on a date with him. you, who looks so pretty, beautiful, elegant and charming that he's having a hard time if you're actually real. you, who never fails to make his days a little better at work whenever you waltzed in and decided to grace him with your presence. you, with your complicated mixture of coffee that he memorized in favor of impressing you and in hopes that you come back again to the café.

he couldn't believe it.

“y-yeah? that's great! so, when are you free?”

“i was thinking maybe saturday? if that's alright with you?”

“that's fine with me! i actually have a day off on saturday. same time? at the cafe?”

he can't help the grin that's practically splitting his face in half but he's just so happy. he immediately caught feelings for you the moment you walked inside crows' cabin and he can't get you out of his mind since.

the same thing can be said about you, which the only reason you're actually studying in the café and keep coming back there was for a whole another reason other than coffee. heck, you even find yourself thinking of him whenever you drink the beverage.

with a lovestruck look on your face, you nodded even though he couldn't see it.

“yeah, that would be great.”

꘎♡━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♡꘎

when saturday came, to say that you were nervous and jittery would be an understatement. you can't stop looking at yourself in the mirror or literally any surface that you have a reflection on to make sure that you looked nice and presentable on your date with noya.

and due to that fact, you didn't notice him walking up to you, all smiles and looking as cute and handsome as ever.

“ready to go?” he asked, offering his elbow to you which you gladly accepted.

“where are we going?”

“it's a surprise,” he teased, flashing you a mischievous smile.

you went along with it. the two of you walked, stopped for some food and talked about what you both liked, disliked, and how he got the job at crows' cabin.

“–so i told ukai-san that i really need the money! i was actually just saving up for the new game i saw down the street but i made it sound like it's a life or death situation if he wouldn't hire me. in the end, i loved working there. i mean,” he gestured to the two of you, “because of it, i finally went on a date with a wonderful person!”

chuckling at him, you playfully pushed his shoulder.

“shut up,” you grumbled.

you can't help but admire him. the way he animatedly tell his stories with his own sound effects and grand gestures that never fails to make you laugh and rope you in with the story. he's fun to hang out with, knows a lot of stuff about the neighborhood and won't run out of tales.

“ah! we're here!” he paused walking to stop in front of your designated place.

he brought you to the movies.

“oh, wow...i didn't expect that,” you laughed sheepishly, trying not to offend him.

“i figured we'd watch a movie. ryuu said that there's this new horror movie that's a blockbuster nowadays,” quickly catching on to his plan, you smirked to yourself slightly.

“is that so? well, i'm pretty sure you'll protect me from the scary things in there, right, yuu?”

he seemed to puff up at that, “of course i will! what kind of man would i be if i can't protect you?”

that earned another laughter from you, shaking your head as you tugged his arm towards the direction of the entrance.

he insisted that he'd pay for the tickets and the food which surprised you a bit, but you couldn't really complain since he was being nice all day to you. you decided to just pay him back later.

as soon as the both of you are inside and the movie is playing halfway, you noticed how he's the one who is more scared of it than you. he's trying to play it off by coughing when he'd accidentally yell in surprise or laugh it off when he'd jolt up from a jumpscare.

how cute.

without saying a word, you grabbed his hand and squeezed it reassuringly. the feeling of your soft and warm hands brought him back to reality, looking down at your intertwined hands. his cheeks flared up and he thanked himself for choosing a horror movie or else this moment wouldn't happen.

“ah, i'm glad that movie was over!” he cried out in relief. all throughout the movie, he kept squeezing your hand hard like a woman giving birth or hiding on your shoulder when a jumpscare comes on. you gotta admit that you enjoyed his reactions more than the movie itself.

you were both now walking home – he insisted – and your hands are still holding each other, clearly not wanting to let go. by the time you walked out of the theatre, it's already nighttime.

the skies are clear and there are stars peppering the night sky. it's quiet out with an occassional passing vehicles, or a hoot of an owl but it's a comforting silence.

“this is me,” you mumbled, stopping on your tracks once you saw the familiar street your residence was in.

noya can't help but glance at the street behind you with a sad look and down at your still conjoined hands. he knows he should, but he wanted to spend the night with you longer.

“you sure you can make it home okay?” he gave you a pleading look, hoping that you'd let him at least walk you in front of your house.

“yeah, i'm sure.” with that, he let go of your hands hesitantly, linking your pinkies as he gave you a small, content but genuine smile.

“i really had fun today, yuu.” you avoided his gaze when you saw his smile widen in satisfaction. he laughed heartily at that.

“me too, even if i hid throughout the movie.” he rubbed the back of his head, feeling his face heat up in embarrassment. he kept rambling about how he probably turned you off because of that and why he shouldn't have taken you to the movies but somewhere exciting instead.

goddamnit, you can't take it anymore.

leaning in, you closed the distance between the two of you and slotted your lips in his, closing your eyes. you felt his breath hitch at your actions, his hands coming up to hold your jaw.

just like everything about him, the kiss was breathtaking.

it felt like hours when you pulled away, his eyes was still closed as he savored the blissful moment you shared.

“thank you,” you whispered, as if any louder can ruin the magic.

you pushed his shoulders away gently, giggling as you walked home. nishinoya was left there, awestruck with a dumb smile on his face as he stared at your retreating figure like he just woke up from a beautiful dream.

“huh...? hey, wait! come back here!”

[lawrising-a]

( continued from here! // @pseudoneiric )

there's a sore sensation nestling against the sensitive skin of his wrist -- not rubbed raw, exactly, considering his tie is too silky to achieve such a feat ( and he, desperately, tried to move as little as possible ) but it still stings. a chiding reminder of what he allowed to happen not even minutes ago. yellow wrapped around him, completely bound and helpless ... it was something he can't say he's done before, not like that. he thinks the correct term would be bondage, but was it? gloved hands sinking beneath layers of flesh to expose the fluttering organs beneath, and expose her own in turn. call him crazy, but that's not what he thought bondage was about. but when was anything with lilian it's textbook definition? he can't blame anyone for his display of vulnerability except himself, completely ensnared with the girl the moment they crossed paths. there were times he watered down his attraction, for both their sakes, blaming her allure for his enchantment. yet lies come clean eventually and here he now perches. the edge of his mused bed, chest rising and falling more then it should as he burns with the black markings drifted upon his ivory skin. lipstick marks painting him in a light he's not used to. he's been stripped of all his warm tones and fake boy scout personas ; left in cool colors. green pants and black marks.

‘and what are you ... the sun?’ whispered a voice earlier, like every hushed word was a secret reserved between the two of them. mat rolls his shoulders, because he doesn't feel that way anymore. never has, honestly. he wants to be beaming lights with a killer gravitational pull, but he ... isn't. the colors on him now is a striking reminder of that : yet he replays lilian's maddening words and fools himself briefly. it's okay to believe lies when she's the one feeding them! as long as she believes it, why can't he humor it? everything she said had been a warped view, a funhouse mirror at those shifty carnivals -- but it was raw honesty from lilian, and he can't turn away the swell of attention. even if he should, even if mat should waltz into the bathroom where she's currently shrouding herself away and spill out the truth. let her know he isn't some angelic force but rather a mockery of one. how matthew naively hopes he can be hers regardless of his lack of good ... it's dizzying, causing his vision to blur, because it's been a while since he's confronted this about himself. the student doesn't like it. but oh, he loves her -- a burning sensation that lights his veins aflame and races his heart.

distractingly, he presses the pad of his rough thumb against the mark on the corner of his lips. a replica of a kiss she once bestowed upon him like salvation itself ( hm, what's with the spur of religious imagery today? hah ). trying to prod away the disappointment that rises every time he feels the wishful want of her actual lips there instead. she has to -- she has to feel something for him at this point, right? that can't be an assumption anymore, can it? questions whirl around as his fingers ghost down his ruined skin, tracing over the words left with his own hands like confirmation. like he's silently saying 'yes, property of lilian eyler.' like he's finally allowing himself a love he thought he wouldn't ever have when he traces, ‘mine. mine. mine-’ that ends with him working his way back up, away from the bulge of his stomach and trembling arms -- away from 'poetry, life, religion' and back to his lips. where he's reminded, with a fuzzy feeling balling up in his chest, 'mine.' almost pushing hard enough to slip a finger through his pink lips, plush and ready for ... mat isn't sure. he just wants her to kiss him there. though he knows she won't, least not today. and even if there's this sickening greed that controls him with a talent, he lets her have that. lets her take all her time in the bathroom and tries not to beg for more. how did she elegantly put in, in all her poetic prose that he's seen briefly in the club? a loyal dog? just for you now, only ever for you, lili--

a shiver rocks his form, startling his hands to the edge of the bed to tear into as he digs his heels into the carpet ( like he once had in the bed, to ground himself, to not buck ). was his pulse racing with the life she declared to adore so much? the man sinks canines into his cheek to hold back from beckoning her out to check. no, no ; he said he'd leave her be. it's a good thing for them both right now. if she had stayed and let the fabric obscuring his view fall from his eyes, he would've reached for her. try to pull them close and he'd ramble like a mad man ... wouldn't he have scared her? some part of him thinks he still has. which wobbles his posture in order to keep his head bowed, like awaiting punishment. almost waiting for pain building in his scalp, because surely she'd card her delicate laced fingers through his hair with a bit more force if she came back out. or was that his gentle throb of arousal wanting that? she got him worked up so easily ; ah, well, at least it's a good exercise for his thinning self control ...

a sigh, shaky and human, whistles out of parted lips. dry due to the fact he can't lick them thanks to the lipstick, though he can't help but wonder if he did -- would he be licking lilian's lips that way? the material touched them ... realizing how wild he is, a thoroughly teased animal, matthew laughs nervously. jesus christ, there's parts of him strewn all around his bedroom, because there's no way mat is fully put together. his brain feels like soupy liquid dripping from his ears and hissing into his scarlet skin. a puzzle of a man that lilian expertly took apart and left half completed. no matter how hard he tries to reel himself in, chase away all the sweetened morbidness delivered, he can't find all the pieces. surely, the clever girl took some with her to the bathroom. she was ... possessive. mat learned that just now. possessive over him, envious of basic things that matthew almost couldn't believe. she'll never know how comforting it was to see. a feeling now nestled happily within because nobody's been possessive of him before! she mustn't of gotten the memo from former friends, didn't hear how expendable he was to everyone who's known him. people don't get jealous for matthew, they don't care how much he sleeps, they don't care if he isolates away -- and they certainly don't care if his eyes linger on a girl with purple hair.

because who would find him special? he's an emotional wreck everyone stays weary of, a boy to eye with skepticism. his jealousy, his rawness, his obsessive love and need is wrong and ugly. you're shunned for those things by society. to the world, mat is anything but special, he's wrong ; so wrong and he's relentlessly tried to change that. but lilian ... she thinks otherwise. feels like he feels. sensitive and lovesick. and while he's always tried to hide before, if the girl with inky hair thinks it's beautiful and radiant ... everyone else must be wrong, because lilian eyler never is! as clever as the devil and twice as pretty, so the saying goes. with a rueful smile, too boyish and gentle for his own sharp face, he thinks it's an accurate fit for his favorite person ever. his throbbing molten core of earth, the darkened reflective surface of his beloved moon.

“im excited about lunch tomorrow, you know?” calls mat, voice as rough as ever ; like he uses it too much. but during this whole date, he fears he hasn't used it enough. “i haven't eaten with another person in a while. i usually just grab an apple and loiter around the library.” did you think i ate with yuri? though the fawn haired male doesn't ask, he quickly kills that assumption if it festered in lilian's mind. “if it goes well, we could ... ah, why don't we eat together from then on? maybe everyday? maybe forever! i think it'd be ... nice.”

the last part is so quiet he's not sure she hears it, but maybe she hears it die off. senses his shyness that bares him like it's her own. matthew doesn't want to dwell in it, so he tries to push forward. telling himself to keep tearing down the walls until there's nothing left ( the bathroom walls or his own? ). she deserves to hear more then his sputters from their little session, brought on by gutting arousal and his own jittery sparks : she deserves the world on an obsidian platter. to know he does want to be owned by her, to understand he'd be so comfortable displaying that label for all to see. and for lilian to be told, sternly, that he'd choose her out of a line up with certainty most would be scared of. love isn't half way for him, ever, and lilian needs to know that. even if his heart thunders and he wants to hear more of her disarming voice instead.

“and i want to be yours ; your idea with the whole 'blindly leading me around' wasn't half bad!” heartfelt chuckling makes him feel like he's vibrating out of his skin, her skin now, isn't it? “i'd let you blind me, i'd let you led me even if i was deaf and mute. you could be all my senses, because maybe then i'd trust them more. you don't know how much i wish these words on me were permanent, lilian --” mat twists his mouth, ruins his hair more. “darling, you just ... i've tried so hard to be normal this year, more then any other, yet you make me so helpless! it's ... how do you do that? do you know how special you are, how beautiful? perfect ... well, perhaps not that ; because you're stupid for worrying about not owning me. isn't it obvious you already do? were these reminders for me, or wishes for you?"

( eyes flutter to words he can barely read on his bared parts, words overlapping due to frenzy. all true. all true )

with a tightening throat, emotions rising like waves and god he could just drown, matthew lays back on the mattress. meekly pulling the tie out from under him, only to drag it over his used wrists. picturing only her. wondering if this sight would entice her to keep going when she comes out. and he wants to say lilian, you've won! congratulations on having a lover for life! or, something like : yuri couldn't pry me from your cold dead fingers! but what stumbles out is something foolish that he immediately grimaces over. hopefully she's too shaken to judge him too much.

“i think you're my soulmate, lilian. i .. really do.” so why would i ever let you go? or deem you unworthy? it's me, im unworthy. not you, never never -- his lashes tickle his skin when he shuts his eyes. breath hitching before evening out. reminding himself to calm down because matthew thinks he'll actually explode otherwise. a bundle of nerves, of her love, is all he really is.

[magnuslightwood-bane0414]

Passed down like folksongs, our love lasts so long

Read on a03

Mornings with Malec because Taylor Swift makes me want a love story likes theirs 🥰 this was supposed to be tooth rotting fluff, and most of it is, but you can thank Alec for loving his husband so much he makes it a bit angsty. I had no part of this 😉 let me know what you think!! Prompts are open!

Alec wakes up alone in bed, which is practically a sin. Alec grumbles and reaches over, his hand flattening against Magnus' side of the bed. The sheets are still warm, but his adorable husband is nowhere to be found within them.

Alec slips out of bed, searching the floor for his clothes that were shed by Magnus' magic after a date night last night, but he can't find those either.

So now he's without clothes and his husband.

Alec grabs Magnus' kimono robe that was hanging from a chair, and slips his arms through it, tying a messy knot that rests against his stomach. Then he braves the cold of the open balcony doors to search for Magnus.

He finds him in the kitchen, pressed against the oven, wearing just boxers and a hoodie. He's humming gently and mixing a bowl of something. Upon closer inspection, he's making blueberry pancakes. Alec's favorite breakfast food in the whole wide world, which makes a smile spread across Alec's face as he moves closer.

"Why'd you leave me alone in bed?" Alec whispers, pressing a lazy kiss to Magnus' earlobe and setting his chin against his shoulder, wrapping tight arms around his toned waist.

"Because after all the calories we burned last night, I figured I should get up and make my wonderful husband some blueberry pancakes."

"You have magic for that." Alec grumbles, relaxing against the warmth of Magnus' back.

"I do," Magnus admits, "But aren't you always telling me I should embrace my inner mundane and do things by hand?"

"Not when it involves cuddling your touch-starved husband."

"Oh, I see." Magnus murmurs, turning around to press a chaste kiss to his lips, "Still feeling neglected even after last night?" Alec still finds himself blushing when Magnus brings up their rather adventurous nights, and last night certainly fit in that category.

"I'll always feel neglected from your touch. You're just too damn gorgeous and it's sad that I can't have you all to myself."

Magnus hums happily at that, and runs his free hand up Alec's arm, pausing when he feels the silk sleeves of his robe.

"Is that my robe?" Magnus flips the pancake over and then snakes his hand further up Alec's arm.

"Yeah..." Alec blushes, "You somehow misplaced both my shirt and pants last night so I found this lying on the chair and just decided to put it on."

Magnus hums, "I would never just misplace your clothes on purpose, must've been a grave mistake. However, your body is attractive enough without clothes, so honestly that can't be considered a mistake..."

Alec scoffs and chuckles, saying, "Magnus, how could it have been anyone other than you? You're the one who wanted to rip my Henley off as soon as you saw it last night." Granted, that's how many of their nights end these days, with fiery passion that stills feels like a dream or a scene from a movie. But it's not, it's just Magnus and Alec, which feels so much better than his wildest dream.

"Can't blame me for wanting to enjoy the view. But darling, lavender looks stunning on you. It is officially yours, now."

"We can't share?" Alec pouts. He dips a finger into the batter and then licks his finger, smirking when Magnus gasps.

"I've corrupted you. But back to your original question, love, I suppose we could share. As long as you keep wearing it through breakfast."

"We have a deal." Alec says sweetly, sliding onto the counter beside the stove, gripping onto the string of Magnus' hoodie.

Magnus goes back to concentrating on his pancakes, placing one on the plate and then pouring a cup of batter onto the sizzling pan. Alec is content to just watching him, studying how relaxed he is in Alec’s presence, and how the rising sun holds no candle to Magnus’ own brilliance.

He would never get bored watching Magnus, but his eyes catch the sunlight hitting the exposed skin of Magnus’ golden thighs, and he gets an idea.

"Too many clothes." He mumbles, grabbing the seam of the hoodie and beginning to lift. Magnus laughs and swats his hand away playfully.

"Maybe you just have too few clothes on." Magnus counters, winking and adding a handful of fresh blueberries to the plate of pancakes.

"Now you know that's simply not true. Especially after what you said earlier." Alec leans closer and nuzzles Magnus’ neck, breathing in the scent of sandalwood.

"Shush and stop distracting me, I'm trying to finish breakfast. Here’s your plate, I will join you in one moment.” Magnus hands him a plate and gives him a gentle shove.

Magnus presses a kiss to the corner of his mouth in a silent thank you as he slips off the counter and sits down at the table.

With a lazy wave of Magnus’ hand, a bottle of syrup and a glass of orange juice appears beside Alec’s plate.

Alec waits patiently as Magnus finishes the last of his pancakes, turns the stove off, and joins Alec at the table.

Alec leans over the table and squeezes Magnus’ hand, saying, “Thank you for breakfast. It smells delicious.”

“Well, by all means, don’t wait for me to dig in.” Alec smiles and cuts into one of the fluffy pancakes. He always loves anything Magnus makes, because it’s made with love and mouthwatering flavor.

They sit in comfortable silence, save for the scraping of forks and sounds of delight at just how tasty the pancakes are. Alec finishes one of his pancakes within five bites, and looks up to see Magnus glancing at him with a fond smile on his face.

“I knew you were hungry. If we stayed in bed you would’ve been complaining within ten minutes about how hungry you were.” Alec blushes and glares at Magnus, but doesn’t deny his statement.

Both Magnus and Alec has the entire day off, and Alec is enthusiastically prepared for a lazy day, with movies and cuddles and more junk food. It’s been awhile since they’ve been able to have something as domestic as a day off with just each others company, but it is one of Alec’s favorite things in the entire world.

“I never want anything different than this.” Alec says, causing Magnus to pause and tilt his head in confusion.

“What do you mean, my love?”

“I just...I want this forever. I want lazy mornings like this. I want wild nights like we had last night. I want to love you, and be loved by you, forever. We learn about heaven and the afterlife in the Academy, and it’s supposed to be perfect, but I feel like this is as perfect as it gets. I never want to let this slip out of my grasp.”

“Alexander...” Magnus starts, feeling tears well up in his eyes. He sets his fork down and gets up, the need to be touching his love too strong to resist. Alec normally gets reflective and romantic during simple mornings and late nights, and Magnus knows this, but it doesn’t help prepare his old warlock heart for whatever sappy thing Alec says.

Alec scoots back, opening his arms as Magnus climbs onto his lap and rests his cheek against the top of Alec’s head.

“I want that too, Alexander. I want that more than anything.” Magnus whispers, closing his eyes as warm tears fall down his cheeks.

No matter how much we want it, we can’t have it.

Those are the words that are left unsaid by either of them, but they’re still spoken in the emotional silence.

Alec wraps an arm around Magnus, holding onto him with a grip that’s strong but necessary. “We’re going to have that, Magnus. I promised you that in my vows when I said I am and will always be your loving husband. I promised you that in Edom when I said I’m never leaving you again. And I don’t break promises.” Magnus sniffles and Alec moves away slightly, to take Magnus’ face in the palms of his hands.

“Alexander, even though I wish you could, you can’t promise that.” Magnus shakes his head, his heart screaming at his mind to believe it, but happiness has never had permanence in Magnus’ life.

It is the closest it has ever been now, but with the weight that one day it will end, it still drags him down to only temporary, fleeting bouts of joy.

“I can. You’re going to be able to take me on dates all over the world for as long as you’d like. You’re going to be able to tease me about the things I wear and the dumb things I say until you get tired of it. You’re going to have me for as long as you want.” Alec says resolutely, speaking like the very words spilling from his lips are being written in stone.

“Even forever isn’t long enough with you, darling.”

“But it’s a good start.” Alec says, with wet eyes and a sad smile. Even after a poignant revelation that left them both with red eyes and sadden hearts, Magnus thinks he is still the most gorgeous man that has ever walked the Earth. And he is all Magnus’, which is a revelation in of itself.

“Alexander, I would be the last person to stop you and your passionate heart after chasing something you want.” Magnus smiles back, his hand playing with the hairs at the nape of Alec’s neck. “So, yes, Angel, forever seems like a good start to me.”

“Well, then we’re going to make it happen.” Alec declares. In regards of their differing lifespans, for the first time Magnus feels a sense of peace wash over him with Alec’s words. After all, Alexander Gideon Lightwood-Bane has been known to blow up the very ground he stands on to make something right.

And if Magnus is sure of one thing, it’s that Alec and Magnus are unexplainably and wholeheartedly right together.