#Aww man i wanted to have purple and king so badly

[nachotrash]

ANOTHER EDITION OF INCORRECT QUOTES

ft: @catchmewiddershins @paradise-creator @elektrosonix @lilikags @todd-the-phrog and my irl bestie

Lili: I think I'm falling for you.

Anna: Then get up.

Anna: I dare you to kiss the next person who walks into this room.

Pauline: Screw that, I’m not kissing any of you.

*Wid walks in*

Pauline: Fine, I’ll do it. Rules are rules you know.

Sara: Are you an F5 key? Because that ass is refreashing.

Wid: Are you a software update? because not right now.

Isamu: Is something burning?

Wid, leaning seductively on the counter: Just my desire for you.

Isamu: Wid, the toaster is literally on fire.

Isamu: *seductively takes off glasses*

Isamu: Wow...

Anna: *blushes* Haha... what?

Isamu: You're really fucking blurry.

Anna: Any questions?

Wid: Uh, yeah, WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?

Anna: Uh, a plan, duh...

Shiyu: Wid, chill, I know it’s weird, but Anna has a point.

Wid:

Wid: THAT WAS LITERALLY A PONY DOODLE WITH A HAT!!

Wid: I know this isn’t going to end well and I don’t care. So don’t you try and stop me, Sara!

Sara: I wasn’t stopping you. I was asking if you had a spare camera so I can record this.

Lili: I'm not that stupid!

Shiyu: Lili, you literally ate the wax from a babybel.

Lili: ANNA TOLD ME IT WAS EDIBLE!

Isamu: *visiting the squad* Hello, I just came to-

Isamu: *sees Sara shoving Shiyu into the washing machine while Anna records and Wid watches*

Isamu: *retreating* Something suddenly came up.

Shiyu: I failed my safety training course today.

Lili: Why, what happened?

Shiyu: Well one of the questions was "In case of a fire, what steps would you take?"

Lili: And?

Shiyu: Well apparently "FUCKING LARGE ONES" isn't an acceptable answer.

Lili: How would you like your coffee?

Wid: As dark and as bitter as my soul.

Lili, shouting to someone behind the counter: I need one vanilla latte with extra cream and sugar!

Wid: It’s time to turn this into a real business.

Shiyu: What do you mean? Like, carry a briefcase, and wear a tie, and pay taxes?

Anna: Wait, have you not been paying your taxes?

Sara: I handle our accounting.

(no but this is actually me)

Sara: Honestly, I am so evil. So full of darkness. I feed of the souls of the living I strike fear into-

Anna: You sleep with a teddybear.

Sara: He’s my sECOND IN COMMAND IN MY ARMY OF DARKNESS!

Lili: You are an absolute fucking dork.

Anna, singing: Yeah, but I'm your dork!

Lili: *sighs* Yeah, you're my dork.

Lili: Guys, I didn’t memorize my lines!

Isamu: Just use your lack of common sense! Everyone knows the characters in plays are dumb as fuck!

*During the play*

Pauline: Hey! You finally made it! Did you get the donuts?

Lili: W-what’re donuts?

Pauline: I am darkness. I am an power. I am your worst nightmare. I could kill a man in more ways than you can imagine. I am the night. I am fury, I am a weapon, I am-

Anna: A doll.

Isamu: A cinnamon roll.

Lili: A sweetheart.

Pauline:

Pauline: ...stop it.

Pauline: I think I just figured something out. I got to go.

Wid: Aren't you forgetting something?

Pauline: Uuh...*hesitantly kisses Wid's forehead before running out.*

Wid: No, pay your bill! Damn, who raised you?

Pauline: Why should I make my bed, when I'm just gunna unmake it to sleep in it anyways?

Anna: Why should I feed you if your just gunna die anyways?

Pauline:

Pauline: I'll go make my bed-

Lili: Yo dumbass, get over here.

Shiyu: Okay-

Anna: *gleefully runs past* I’m coming!

Shiyu, sadly: I thought... I was dumbass...

Shiyu: That shirt looks great, Sara.

Sara: Thanks.

Shiyu: But I bet it would look even better on Lili's floor.

Lili: Are you hitting on Sara... for me?

Pauline: I dare you-

Lili: Isamu is not allowed to accept dares anymore.

Pauline: Why not?

Isamu: "I have no regard for my own or others personal safety", as some would say.

Pauline: Dearly Beloved, we are here today to remember Isamu, taken from us in the prime of life; when they were crushed by a runaway semi, driven by the Incredible Hulk.

Isamu: Aww, you knew my favorite cause of death.

Lili: Why are there little handprints all over the walls?

Wid, whispering: Why are there little handprints all over the walls?

Sara, whispering: Because I have little hands.

Wid: Because they have little hands.

Anna: I’ve made a spread sheet of all the crime in Brooklyn.

Anna: There’s so much crime in New York, no one should live here.

Lili: Pros and cons of dating me.

Lili: Pros. You'll be the cute one.

Lili: Cons. Holy shit, where do I begin-

Shiyu: Sometimes I drink milk straight from the container.

Pauline: The cow??

Shiyu: What?

Isamu: Pauline, W H Y?

Lili: We just ate. Why are you making pancakes?

Sara: For the dogs.

Wid: Why are your tongues purple?

Isamu, texting in the group chat: I wonder what Apple shots would look like?

Shiyu: That’s the longest worm I’ve ever seen.

Isamu: Is this your plan B?

Lili: What do you call quantums of electromagnetic radiation that don’t get along?

Sara: Hey, no, you stay out of this, this is between me and Isamu!

Anna: Truth or dare?

Isamu: How many children do you have?

Isamu, tearing up the room: Where are they?

Sara, very tired: Can I sleep in your bed?

Isamu: I failed my safety training course today.

Pauline, watching Isamu and Sara fight: Are you sure they should be fighting? What if they get hurt?

(ok but this is kinda accurate)

Isamu: Do you want some tea?

Pauline: I have an idea.

Wid: When I was a kid, Isamu told me that the paper strip that’s in the chocolate kisses were edible and I ate them with the chocolate for a year.

Pauline: What the fuck? People actually tell their crushes they like them??

Shiyu: What's wrong with you?

Wid: I intend to stay pissed at you forever.

Anna, hungover: Please tell me I'm imagining that I claimed I was king of the ducks.

Anna, holding a rock: Isamu just gave this to me and said "I feel like you deserve the moon but all I can give you is a rock".

Anna: What do you have?

Pauline: Well, well, well, if it isn’t the consequences of my actions.

Lili: Alright, listen up you little shits.

Anna: I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said all my bleeding was internal, that's where the blood's supposed to be!

Pauline: So are you gonna explain how the hell you crashed my car?

Sara: How stupid do you think I am?!

Pauline: Honestly, I am so evil. So full of darkness. I feed of the souls of the living I strike fear into-

Lili: I'm going the fight the next person who insults Pauline.

Lili: I currently have 7 empty notebooks and I have no idea what to put in them. Any suggestions?

Anna: I wanna die.

Shiyu: Are you sure this is safe?

Wid: My life is a little too much panic and not enough disco.

Isamu: The time to act is now.

Isamu: Shiyu won’t wake up, what do I do?

Isamu: Why doesn’t Pauline find me sexy when I bite my lip?

Wid: Anna's first detention, I'm so proud.

Pauline: She's the girl of my dreams!

(and now, an only ship edition)

Pauline: So, are you two dating now?

Anna: I didn't drink that much last night.

Anna: Did you know you remind me of all 26 letters of the alphabet?

Shiyu: Just a minute. I need to go take out the trash.

Isamu: *sees Anna and Pauline together*

Pauline: Two years ago, I married my best friend.

Anna: Well, remember when Lili made a romantic dinner for me?

Isamu: Sara, let’s go!

Anna: Let’s watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

Wid: Is this your plan B?

Shiyu: I would never say that my partner is a bitch and I don’t don’t like them. That’s not true… My partner is a bitch and I like them so much!

Lili: I find it very unseemly of Shiyu to start dating again. Isn't the customary period of mourning 10 years?

Shiyu: Hey, Pauline? Can I get some dating advice?

Shiyu: I still have no idea how I’m attracted to you...

Isamu: Someone take me to art museums and make out with me.

Anna: Guys, my friend here is bilingual.

Sara: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-

Anna: So... who's the big spoon and who's the little spoon?

Shiyu: Isamu kissed me!

Sara: Ooh, somebody has a crush

Lili: *sees Anna and Shiyu together*

*playing twister*

Wid: So, what is Shiyu to you?

Shiyu: Why are your tongues purple?

[bhairston]

Karlheinz x (true mate) Reader (smut)

~This will start with how the six boys and you as the reader met. The six sakamaki brothers are very young in this and wants a new mother because the ones they have treat them very badly. Then you meet karlheinz. You are 22 in this and will eventually become a vampire. I'm just going to say that Cordelia is the current wife.  I hope you enjoy this.~

Reader's Pov

I was hanging out with my best friend ,(Fr/n). We were going shopping for some new out fits. We bought a total of five dresses each, three plain bras mine being (f/c), four lace bras and panties to match, and some heels and jewelry to match the dresses.

"(Y/n)?"

"Hmmmmm...."I hum in response and look at her.

"What is your thought on kids and getting yourself a man." She asks.

"I love kids and wouldn't mind having some of my own. Now as far as getting a man, I don't know I still want to find the right one." I tell her sighing deeply.

"I completely understand. I think you will make a great mother one day." She says and we continue shopping.

~time skip the reader getting a job as babysitter for the sakamaki boys~

I walk up the steps that leads to a huge mansion. I knocked on the door and a little boy with blonde hair and beautiful blue eyes opens the door.

"Hi there sweetie, I am (y/n). I'm here to babysit you and your other siblings. What is your name?"I ask and squat to his level.

"My name is s-s-shu. It is nice t-to m-meet you miss." The boy says blushing. Aww so cute!

"Why are you blushing sweetie?" I ask him with a friendly smile. He just blushes and leads me in. Once I enter I see five more boys. One has dark Purple hair and purple eyes. Another one has light purple hair and purple eyes, two have beautiful green eyes but one has red hair and the other has reddish brown hair. The last one has pinkish white hair and one pink eye and the other eye is red. They are all so adorable.

"Hello boys I am (y/n). I will be babysitting you all. What are your names?"I ask a little cheerfully with a little adoration in my eyes. They tell me there names with blushes on there little faces.

~time skip to where you the beautiful reader meets karlheinz! ~

It as been two months since I came here to the Sakamaki mansion. I have come to really care for these boys. I treat them as if they were my own. Not that I have any kids. And I think they are enjoying my presence. I am currently making dinner for us. I'm making everyone there favorite foods. I just hope they like it.

The boys Pov

We love miss (y/n). She is better than our mean mommies. We wish that miss (y/n) was our mommy. Daddy is supposed to come and visit today maybe we can ask him to make her our mommy.

Reader's Pov

I placed the boys food on the table.

"Boys your dinner is ready "I called out and they came running down the stairs into the dining room. They each gave me a kiss on the cheek before sitting down in their seats.

"Thank you for dinner mom.....we mean miss (y/n)!" They all say in unison. I chuckled softly and smiled kindly at them.

"You boys are welcome and you boys can call me mommy if you want."I say and they smile brightly at me. I heard a knock on the door and went to open it. I looked and see a tall white haired, golden eyed male standing there. He looked at me with a hint of lust?love? Adoration? I couldn't quite tell.

"My I help you sir?"I ask and raise an eye brow at him. Kanato came beside me with his little teddy bear I got him.

"That's our Daddy." He says and looks up at me. I smile at his tiny form and kiss his forehead. He walks back to the dining room.

"I am Karlheinz,  the father of Shu, Reiji, Kanato, Ayato, Laito, and Subaru. Who might you be?" He asks.

Karlheinz's Pov

She was absolutely beautiful and melt really good. She smelled of (favorite scent). Everything about her was perfect.

"My name is (y/n), I am the babysitter of the boys. Who they recently called mommy." She says and let's me in. I head to the dining room and see that the boys are well behaved. There wasn't a single mark on them. I'm glad to be divorcing Cordelia. I hate her. I Wonder if (y/n) would be interested in becoming my wife.

Reader's Pov

Karlheinz sat across from me at the other end of the table. I had placed a plate in front of him moments prior.

"This is delicious, miss (L/n)." He says. The boys looked between the two of us with hope in their eyes.

"Thank sir. I'm glad you are enjoying your meal. Boys what is with that look?"I ask them with a friend smile. They all smile back. Karlheinz watching us.

"We want you to be our mommy." All six of the boys say with blushes on their little faces. I feel tears building up in my eyes. I smile brightly at them.

"Of course I'll be your mommy. If that is what you truly want." I say and they all nod their head with huge adorable smiles on all of their faces.

Time skip to two months after the divorce

Karlheinz and I have spending a lot of time together. Karlheinz won the custody battle for the boys mainly I won. I have full rights of the boys. I was in the kitchen when I felt Sparks around my waist.

"Hello love." He says in my ear. I continue to was dishes.

"Hello karlheinz. Was there something you needed?" I ask.

"Yes. I need you, little mate." He says against my neck. He told me about vampires and mates two weeks after his visit. Then after his divorce and custody battle he stayed. Only leaving to take care of his business as King. I blushed. Laito comes running in crying.

"What's wrong sweetie?" I ask and bent down so I am almost the same height.

"Aiato p-put a b-bug on m-me."he says. I hug him and whisper that it will be okay. I went outside and scolded Aiato for putting a bug on his brother.

Another time skip💕💕💕

I was in my room getting ready for bed. Karlheinz came in and just watched me change before he said anything.

"(Y/n)?" He asked huskily. I hummed in response. "Will you marry me?" He asks and I turned and seen him on one knee. I put a hand over my mouth.

"Yes!" I say and wrapped my arms around his neck. He kissed me passionately.

⚠️ Warning Sexual content ahead you have been warned⚠️

The kiss quickly becomes heated. He begins taking my clothes off and I take his off as well. He throws me on the bed gently. He kissed down my neck and left love bites on my skin. I moan in pleasure and he smirks. He bites into my skin. I moan. He thrusts in and out of me at a fast pace I couldn't help but moan out.

"K-karlheinz....ughhh.... don't stop." I moan out. he picks up his pace and goes at an inhuman pace. I cum at least seven times until he releases. He slowly pulls out of me. He kissed my forehead lovingly.

Time skip to two weeks later.

I just found out today that I'm pregnant with karlheinz's child. I need to figure out how to tell him. Karlheinz came into our shared bedroom.

"Is everything okay, love?" He asks.

"I'm pregnant." I say and a look of joy spreads across his face.

"We should go and tell our sons." He says and we go into the living room.

"Boys, I'm pregnant with you alls little brother or sister."I say and they all smile at me.

Time skip to 8 months after the wedding

Karlheinz and I are happily married. My mom (your mom's name) and my best friend, (b/f/n), visit alot. They bought tons of stuff for the babies. That's right we are having twins, two girls. The names we came up with are (d/d/n) Sakamaki and (a/d/d/n) Sakamaki. I felt like I was peeing my self but I wasn't. I felt pain shoot up my stomach. I screamed in pain and my best friend quickly rushed me to the hospital with the boys and mom following. My mom called karlheinz and told him what happened. He rushed over as quickly as possible.

"It's going to be okay, baby." He says and I start pushing out our children.

Time skip to after birth

After I gave birth, I started seeing black. My vision became blurry. I seen karlheinz hand the twins to my mom and then everything went black. I felt something or someone bite my skin. I felt like I was on fire. The fire spread throughout my body and stop after a few minutes. I opened my eyes and looked around. Everything looked 10 times clearer. I held my baby girls and  all my boys surrounded my bed. I couldn't be more happier.