#ButThanksForTheEngagement 💖✨

[not-glorfindel-stop-asking]

Dude I think I know who you are OP and I'm so disappointed 😭

At last, a tale as old as time, a saga of great tragedy and woe.

Once upon a time, in the vast and cursed lands of The Internet, there existed a humble little RP crack account, minding its own chaotic business, frolicking amongst memes and shitposts, blissfully unaware of the impending heartbreak awaiting it.

And then… disaster struck.

A lone traveler emerged from the shadows, carrying the unbearable weight of their sorrow. "I think I know who you are, OP… and I am so disappointed." they declared, their voice trembling under the sheer gravity of their realization.

The wind howled. A single tear traced down the cheek of the OP in question.

Somewhere in the distance, a violin wept. The sky darkened, the birds fell silent, and all joy was stripped from the land.

Except… wait. No. That didn’t happen!

The world did not stop turning. The fabric of reality did not unravel at the seams. The Heavens did not tremble, nor did the Earth split asunder beneath my feet.

Because, shockingly, stunningly, breathtakingly—OP did not, in fact, give a singular, microscopic, atom-sized fuck. Not one. Not even half of one. 🥰🌸🐥✨

There were no gasps of horror, no dramatic fainting spells, no clutching of pearls in the wake of this alleged disappointment. No black veil was donned in mourning. No tragic monologue was recited atop a rain-soaked balcony.

Nothing. Nada. Rien du tout.

And yet, dear traveler, here you are. Gracing my humble domain with the grand revelation of your discontent, as though your words alone might shake me to my very core. As though I might fall to my knees, wracked with existential grief, whispering, “Oh no… a stranger on the internet is disappointed in me… how shall I ever recover?”

And honestly? I have no idea what you expected saying that. Was I meant to gasp? Clutch my chest? Fall to my knees in despair? Issue a public statement of regret? Host a formal apology tour?

Because, my dear Anonymous, I promise you—it does not matter who I am. It never has. And yet, here you are, typing away, hoping what? That I'd crumble at the weight of your vague disappointment?

Spoiler alert: I will not. I am thriving. I am existing joyfully, obnoxiously, and entirely unbothered. Whatever great expectations you had for me are your own to carry, not mine. So, by all means, take a deep breath, unclench this jaw of yours, and touch (or eat) some grass.

And even if you think you're right and I am who you think I am…????? Like okay??? Congrats on your detective work, Sherlock??? What now??? A prize? A parade? A commemorative plaque???

I think some people already figured it out, considering certain posts and all that, dear Anon 😂 But oh no, the horror, the drama, the scandal! What ever shall we do??? 🤭

But fret not, weary traveler!

May your disappointment be but a fleeting stormcloud in the bright and glorious sky of your existence. May you one day find peace in your heart, as I have found peace in my dedicated clownery.

And above all… may you remember that if you don’t like what you see, you can, at any time, embark upon the sacred quest of scrolling away, mute or block!

Blessings upon your journey. 💖✨

_ OP