#Dess's Kirby Movie-verse

[desultory-novice]

Welcome back!! Also, I’d LOVE to hear that pitch idea 👀

To get this out of the way first, when it comes to hypoethetical Kirby movie ideas, I often hear things like "Return to Dream Land would be the best game to adapt to a movie!"

I...disagree.

It's a really nice story, with an intriguing beginning, middle, and an infamous last act twist. But you actually need to understand what kind of character Kirby et al are, their world, and Kirby's themes before you can really understand what makes RtDL's (and Magolor's) story effective. Because of that, it's not a good introduction.

So, which game would I adapt?

Ah, see, here's the thing. I think the best way to handle it would be to combine several plots together! For this, I'm loosely adapting Kirby's Dream Land 2/3, Kirby Super Star, AND Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards. That's right! All of 'em!

Let's dive in!

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We open on a colorful storybook-esque backdrop, with a young girl narrating to us about the peaceful Planet Pop Star and the story of "Kirby of the Stars", a mysterious traveler from afar with even more mysterious abilities!

...The camera pans back to show us an excited Adeleine showing off her notebook full of idea sketches to curious Kirby, who speaks (yes, speaks - all throughout the movie, in fact) that they're not certain why, exactly, they're being made out to be the hero of this story Adeleine is conceptualizing in the first place. Adeline points out that Kirby is fascinating and exciting (and lovable! :cheek squish:) and that more people should know about them!

Kirby replies that they're happy with the life they have right now, panning out to show Kirby's house in Whispy Wood’s forest, as well as the rest of the animal friends. Also, "...isn't it lunch time?"

But lunch is put on hold as Coo points out some suspicious activity in the sky. We switch POVs to Ribbon, frantically clutching her crystal while being chased by vague shadow resembling Dark Matter Swordsman and a handful of Dark Matters in tow. In desperation she attempts to activate the crystal as they near in, causing a sonic boom type effect that rocks the land below, sending bits of light and dark debris everywhere. Ribbon goes flying too.

Kirby and the gang find her, where she wakes up to explain to them all in a panic that "...Zero is coming!" and their whole planet is in grave danger. She answers only few brief questions about where she came from and who Zero is before demanding directions to the ruler of their kingdom. She can't waste time here. She needs a hero!

They (some of them swallowing their doubts) point her in the direction of Castle Dedede and she flies off before they can even ask if she wants anyone to "...accompany her?" (Kirby offers to go after her anyway, but everyone kind of groans at the idea of actually, you know, TALKING to Dedede and puts forward they idea they should get back to lunch, something that immediately wins Kirby over.)

A bat-like shadow flies out from the trees just as something gooey that had fallen from the sky in that explosion begins to rattle from the inside of one of Adeleine's paint buckets.

We follow the shadow of the bat-like creature across the landscape of Dream Land till he swoops in for a landing in front of Castle Dedede... revealing himself as Meta Knight.

He's given a friendly but harried greeting by a certain Waddle Dee. Meta Knight is interrupted from asking about the current status of things in the castle by the appearance of Marx, the king's jester, who cracks a few jokes at Meta's expense. Meta shows some anger at Marx who plays at being threatened right as King Dedede arrives on scene. Dedede looks for all intents to be the villainous foil, self-absorbed, egotistical (easily manipulated) and agreeing without thinking too hard about it to everything Marx says. (Even when that thing is mocking himself.) Meta interrupts to remind them all that there are more important matters at hand. That's when either Ribbon arrives at the castle or - we hear that she's already arrived.

Back in the forest, lunch turns into comical hijinks as the group discovers the weird life-form in Adeleine's paints. It hops out, spooks everyone badly, including itself, until Kirby tries inhaling it to stop it from running - only to immediately spit it out. "It tastes...Gooey." (Gooey repeats the word, finding in it a descriptor...and, a name?)

The gang wonder if this weird creature could be the Dark Matter Ribbon spoke of, or even Zero itself! Gooey can't provide any answers about who or what they are (and is still learning the concept of speech) but the forest denizens are able to put off their suspicions thanks to their positive experiences with Kirby, who was also an outsider once. Kirby and Gooey bond quickly over that, with Kirby showing Gooey that just because they don't know what they are, that doesn't make them so strange. Kirby has strange abilities too - showing off a few Copy Abilities too, like using Fire to cook up some baked yams for everyone.

This happy meet-and-greet is interspersed with scenes of Ribbon now catching the Castle Gang up on her story. That "Zero" is a force of pure negativity that has threatened countless planets, most recently consuming her home of Ripple Star, its queen, and all of her friends. She alone escaped with Ripple Star's treasure, the Crystal of the Ancients. The Queen told her to seek out heroes who could unlock its power and stop Zero but... King Dedede stops her there. She was right in coming to see him. The greatest, toughest, bravest "hero" in all of Pop Star. (Dee, Marx, and even Meta Knight all share an eye roll at this declaration.) Let Zero come! The Great King Dedede will stop them in their tracks! (...And get all the fame!)

...Ahem, to start summarize things a little faster (so that this doesn't turn into an hour and a half long read) Ribbon very quickly starts to have her doubts about King Dedede's fitness as a hero (and her choice to come to him for help) as he blatantly ignores her actual warnings to focus on the celebration when he finishes saving the day. The rest of the Castle gang sympathize with her doubts and all agree that this is pretty classic Dedede. Marx and Waddle Dee especially have their gripes with the King's rule, except that we begin to see more and more that Marx, who plays the adorable, long-suffering jester of an idiotic, despotic king when anyone's eyes are on him, is snide to Waddle Dee in the shadows and has been manipulating Dedede into making himself even more of a big useless oaf that no one respects. (Not that Dedede is without flaws, Waddle Dee confesses, but he buys into Marx's false praise too much and doesn't realize he's become something of a laughing stock.)

Ribbon's mention that Zero's agents chased her here end up leading to Gooey being considered a dangerous target to be arrested on sight, just as Kirby and Adeleine take Gooey into town to show them around/teach them more about Dream Land/maybe stir some memories or just good experiences?

Meta Knight, who is sent on this task, catches them in town, despite Adeleine and Kirbys' attempts to disguise Gooey, and the Forest Group and the Castle Group end up clashing, as Dedede wants to splat "the evil Zero" with his hammer in front of everyone, but Kirby insists that Gooey isn't Zero, Gooey is a friend and wouldn't hurt anyone. The only way to solve this argument...?

...Set up a giant arena in front of Castle Dedede and challenge Kirby to a big public tournament for the right to keep Gooey! Poor unprepared Waddle Dee is sent in first, providing a few moments of future friendship bonding for the pair. Next is Meta Knight, who uses this mostly as an exercise to test finally Kirby in combat, giving him several grim warnings during the fight.

Despite Meta seemingly outmatching our puff in every way, Kirby surprises him, inhaling Meta's sword and landing a shocking blow that cracks his mask. Kirby is ever so briefly surprised to see that Meta Knight...looks just like they do. Meta quickly vanishes before a shocked audience can see. (Marx grins.) A stunned Dedede, who didn't expect Meta to lose, quickly recovers to face Kirby in the final round for possession of Gooey and the right to the title of Dream Land's hero.

Ribbon, who has been watching Kirby closely throughout the tournament, and remembering their offers of assistance from the very beginning, has realized they're the one who fits her ideals of a hero. (And the Crystal begins to glow...)

King Dedede, for all that he fails to impress as a king, is one heck of a fighter and proves a pretty even match for Kirby! Refusing to be outdone, he manages to use his build to his advantage to mimic Kirby's own unique abilities. (This is partly because he's giving it his all, unlike Meta Knight, who was holding back.) But a shriek mid-way through the fight alerts both combatants to trouble and brings the duel to a sudden close.

You guessed it! Marx has turned on everyone. With Meta Knight out of the picture temporarily, he's caged Ribbon and snagged the crystal for himself. He gives a stunned Dedede a verbal kick in the ego, pointing out every one of his flaws that everyone was too dull to call him out on till he showed up and says Zero can have this planet. 

"...For now!"

Its time for the gang to regroup to chase after Marx and get Ribbon back! Alas, King Dedede is feeling defeated after that verbal smackdown until Waddle Dee steps up to give him a much needed reality check / pep talk. Its true, King Dedede wasn't the best king till now. Marx was kind of right about that - if unnecessarily mean about it. But he's still THEIR king. And if he tries, Dedede can still be a "Great" King! Kirby chimes in too. They had a really good time with that fight, if only they weren't fighting over possession of one of Kirby's friends...Okay, NOW Dedede's motivated and on board!

...Which is good because an army of Dark Matter has begun to flood the skies above! There's no time left! Zero approaches! A freshly-masked Meta Knight returns to unite the frightened, under-trained Dees in the defense of Dream Land against the Dark Matter forces - something our main Dee helps rally them for - while Kirby and the others go to rescue Ribbon!

(At a certain point in the battle with the Dark Matter, our main Waddle Dee takes an injury protecting another Dee. Meta Knight compliments the Dee's bravery and maybe giving him some combat pointers, all while bandaging him up with a scrap of blue cloth.)

The rest of the group catches up to Marx as he's in the middle of trying to use the crystal for...something mysterious. There's some sequel tease dialogue there that Marx refuses to elaborate on to "...a couple of idiots." Kirby and Dedede team up to fight him as Adeleine and Gooey work to rescue Ribbon in the background, away from Marx's attention. Kirby and Marx have a mid-battle chat, Marx chiding Kirby's naive ideals after Kirby affirms that there's nothing weird about befriending Dark Matter and that they'd even be friends with someone like Marx. Marx reacts with disgust at this. At Ribbon's suggestion, Kirby copies Mirror from a broken bit of Marx's wings Dedede cracked earlier and tricks the trickster, allowing Dedede to smack him so hard, he sends him flying off into the stars.

That's all done with but they still have Zero to contend with. Dedede announces he has to return to the front to help Meta Knight and the Dees as "...That's what a true king ought to do. Right?" Adeleine goes with him to help with the evacuation. Leaving Kirby and Ribbon (and Gooey too, who, after hearing Kirby's speech about friendship to Marx, is able to reveal their mock matter form before Ribbon) to face Zero with the  reawakened and fully charged (Huh. Did Marx prove...useful?) Ancient Crystal.

Zero (with traits of both Zero Two and some oblique references to Void) is unlike anyone Kirby and co has ever faced. They do not talk, for one thing, leaving Kirby's greatest strength, their empathy and willingness to reach a hand out to anyone, all seem meaningless in the face of pure negative emotion.

Plus, fighting them brings both Kirby and Gooey face to face with their fears (or un-asked questions, till now) as to just what they are. But a pep talk from Ribbon ("I KNOW what you are! I've seen you help everyone you come across. No matter whether they've done anything to earn it or not!") and Meta Knight's wise words the tournament comes back to Kirby at a key point in the fight.

In the end, the battle of "where you come from" vs "what your actions say about you" ends in a victory for our heroes. Zero is defeated, the day is saved, Gooey is considered a welcome resident of Dream Land by all, Kirby has some new friends, Dedede is taking steps down the road to real leadership (and won't stop hounding Kirby to a rematch to find out who really is the strongest) and Ripple Star and the fairies are freed from the darkness!

There are questions, of course. Still mysteries to be had. But food, friendship, and nap time are most important, for right now.

The post-credits stinger? ...Marx's unconscious body floating through space. Up until he bumps up against the hull of a very familiar looking ship that is. (1)

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Anyway, that's basically the idea!

My goal was to try and introduce as many familiar Kirby characters and conflicts as possible, even if that meant reworking the context they originally appeared in, while also trying hard to avoid an overdone "origin story" movie feel.

King Dedede doesn't steal all the food (although there could be a line about him doing that) but we see that he is too self-obsessed to be a good king atm. Except that he has a heroic enough streak deep down that he DOES know the difference between right and wrong.

Marx is still a tricky traitor who knows more than he lets on but is more concerned about selfishly getting his way than the damage to others his ambitions could cause. Zero is still a frightening, unfathomable, otherworldly evil with vague connections to Kirby. 

Adeleine and the animal friends play the role of Kirby's supportive family and represent everything that's good and comfy about Planet Pop Star. Ribbon is an at-times heroine-in-distress who still knows what she needs and can also hold her own when the chips are down. 

Gooey is the cute, wanna-protect-them fish-out-of-water character for us to examine/learn about both Kirby and Pop Star with. (Bandanna) Waddle Dee still has their sassy attitude while beginning an arc that would grow with each successive appearance. Meta Knight is cool, intelligent, tactical, but always mysterious.

Now...

I know that not a lot happens TO Kirby directly in this pitch but...Kirby is a character who stays pretty consistent throughout the series. We don't really have a strong ground for saying "In the early days, Kirby was more like this..." (outside of things like their rash decision to blame Dedede in Adventure and Squeak Squad) so I freely admit... Kirby does not have a character arc here. Which could be considered a major flaw, where this to be a real film. Kirby could be considered a "boring, infallible hero." And I don't really have a rebuttal for that except that I personally wasn't that interested in using this experiment to deeply examine Kirby's flaws via the template journey ten thousand movie heroes have gone through (and Kirby has so few flaws anyway) as much as I was interested in exploring how Kirby's steadfastness manages to (positively) affect the those they meet and the world around them.

The other thing of course is that it’s not a very lore heavy treatment. Plenty of classic, even iconic stuff gets left out. Outside of the food-stealing thing, Dedede never gets possessed. They never go off planet. There’s no Galactic Nova outside a few easter eggs in the fight with Marx. No Star Rod or Fountain of Dreams. No Kracko, Kabula, or other bosses and enemies as anything more than background cameos. I mention adapting Super Star, but Dyna Blade and Wham Bam don't really play a part, so it's really just Milky Way Wishes. A movie with less ground to cover would have plenty of room for these individual elements to breathe, but when I first started thinking of this, I set myself a personal goal of seeing covering as much "Kirby" as I could in just three movies.

Other thoughts of mine...

I only hinted at Dark Matter Blade's appearance in the beginning summary without having a full role for them in the story. That's because... I couldn't decide. ^^; I did want to tie them to Gooey, but I also wanted Gooey there for the fight with Zero, when Dark Matter Blade would likely be leading the invasion of Pop Star. (And thus, probably have an awesome duel with Meta Knight??)

The whole thing is also a little jam-packed. But I honestly don't think these 3 (+) stories are as discordant as they might seem! Especially since putting them all together allows us to have a fuller cast with a nice spread of flaws, goals, skill sets, and attitudes. And yes, I ditch Adventure (even though I love Nightmare) but I think the stuff with the Fountain of Dreams could always be used as a flashback sequence in a sequel movie. Maybe to tie off the trilogy?

Anyway, for getting through all that, have a bonus sketch of what a potential movie poster might look like!

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(1) Speaking of trilogies / as for the stinger...

Not to go too much into it here, but the general plan in this hypothetical would be to try and get as many mainline stories into three (?) movies as possible. While I haven't QUITE worked out how to mix Planet Robobot, Adventure, Star Allies, and Forgotten Land cohesively (the science vs magic aspect of having Haltmann and Hyness as dual villains was intriguing though, and its possible to twist the HWC stuff to fit with the Beast Pack's activities while making Eflilis into Hyness's desired form of revenge was a bit poetic) but I did figure out much of the structure of movie two, which combines Squeak Squad, Return to Dream Land, and Triple Deluxe. (With a sprinkling of Amazing Mirror and Canvas Curse.)

Here, the Lor Starcutter crashes on Pop Star as per usual, only Magolor AND Taranza emerge from it. Magolor is an antiques dealer now ("ANCIENT" artifacts especially) and he and his ship were hired by Taranza as transport on a very important delivery mission for the "glorious" Queen Sectonia when they were attacked by the inter-galactic band of thieves known as The Squeaks, who stole their extremely important cargo! They require Kirby and the gang's help to get the ship fixed and put everything in order.

It's treachery left and right though, as the stolen cargo WASN'T the Dimensional Mirror, like Taranza had been told by Sectonia. Furthermore, the framed Squeak's were originally hired BY the queen (through Magolor!!) to steal the real treasure, the Master Crown, so she could claim it to secure her rule. But, say it with me now, everyone then gets triple crossed by Magolor, who steals the stolen Master Crown for himself. Because of course he does.

(And by this point, we know enough about Kirby and their feelings on friendship and forgiveness to know that they would of course be willing to try and help save Magolor, even after being betrayed, when Magolor's plan goes all sorts of wrong. ...You also get some call backs as Magolor's frightening transformation into Dark Matter can pull on some trauma of Kirby's for not being able to reach out and communicate with Zero. There's actual stakes now as Kirby needs to save him before he, too, falls beyond his reach!)

[sortanonymous]

Imagine if Kirby: Triple Deluxe got the Deluxe remake treatment like RtDL, but instead of the outlines and stuff, we got a paintery, storybook-looking remake to let its settings flourish, like if it were something lineless by someone like Suyasuyabi427 (not on Tumblr), @arcaidee, or @desultory-novice. And (assuming an Amazing Mirror sequel including this next part would be too much to ask for, even though that would be one of the greatest games ever) also Taranza's closure arc for the Epilogue mode like he's deserved for the past decade. Someone once said we should have the five stages be the stages of grief, and I agree with that.

That's it. There's my pitch. Hire me, HAL (maybe)