#EXTREMELY niche sort of content but also this corner has never seemed much for like

[imagine-loki]

Fear and Other Related Emotions

TITLE: Fear and Other Related Emotions

CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter-18

AUTHOR: latent-thoughts ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine meeting Loki to interrogate him while he is incarcerated in the Helicarrier glass enclosure. He initially tries to scare you away but then becomes interested in you as you keep talking to him. RATING: NC-17/ MA NOTES/WARNINGS: Warning for explicit sexual situations and violence (combat/fighting/interrogations).

A/N: Ok guys, gear up and fasten your seatbelts. This is going to be a bumpy ride. A lot is happening in this chapter.

________________________________________

Loki was feeling extremely exhausted. He had waded through the scree to reach the steep mountain on the edge of the capital territory, and now, he was just about to reach the top of it. It was proving to be a laborious task, and yet, he persevered.

He was desperate to get back to Earth. He wanted to go back to Reva, to see if she was coping well. He had done all that he could to ensure that she’d be fine. Doubt, however, had a way of creeping in.

Also, he knew that the longer he stayed away from her, the deeper her contempt for him would grow. He most certainly didn’t want that.

Breathing a bit heavily, he hoisted himself up over the edge of the mountain face and looked back at the city skyline, the palace looking very small and insignificant from his vantage point.

The Einherjar were still on the hunt for him, but he had managed to evade them thus far. Now, he was for headed for the passageway back to Earth. He felt the heavy strain on his seidr due to the sheer amount of infinity stones resting within his hold. It was the very reason he was having to toil this hard to escape.

“The Norns must hate me,” he muttered to himself as he entered the cave that contained the passageway, trudging onward towards the shimmering portal.

Suddenly, he was struck with a wave of dizziness, strong enough to knock him down on his knees. His vision blurred, and bright colours swirled around in front of him, very reminiscent of the Bifrost. Gritting his teeth, Loki tried to concentrate on his breathing to regain the use of his faculties.

The colours seemed to meld and mix, creating their own set of illusions for him. Now, he even began hearing voices. Familiar voices… a very particular one.

“My son…”

His eyes widened, and his mouth dropped in shock upon hearing the one voice he had thought he’d never hear again.

“My little raven…”

“Mother…” he whispered, his lips quivering in both shock and immense grief.

He heard a chuckle from her then.  “But I thought I wasn’t your mother?”

Loki’s eyes felt as though they were burning, and his vision blurred further. He realized that he was crying. “I lied… it’s what I do.”

In this moment, he felt broken and damaged, never to be whole again. Like a piece of fine china after it was smashed into pieces.

“But you also speak the harshest truth, which no one pays any mind.” Gone was the mirth in his mother’s voice. Now, she sounded disappointed.

“Please forgive me,” he whispered again, not daring to look up at her. He had failed as a son; he couldn’t meet her eyes.

“You think your little outburst did anything to lessen my love for you?”

More tears streamed down his eyes as he finally looked up at her. She was an image of serenity, of peace. He wanted to touch her so badly, to seek comfort in her soothing embrace. In many ways he felt like a child in this moment, wanting to seek his mother’s doting touch to calm his anxiety and chase away the monsters of the night.

Alas, he was the monster himself… and comfort wasn’t really his lot in life. All he could do was to lament.

“Please… mother, please. Come back,” he begged her brokenly, all his pride vanishing in this moment.

Frigga smiled sadly. “But you know I can’t. I’m… content where I am. I’m at peace.”

He had expected that answer. Still, it didn’t stop the blasted tears.

“I’m so… lost.”

“You’re not. You are strong, Loki. My little raven has grown up and now, it is time for him to spread his wings.”

He shook his head, disbelieving her words, wondering which part of his brain was responsible for these intense illusions. “It’s too much.”

“Your destiny awaits, my son, you alone have the power to make it yours.”

“But my destiny was… to die…” He repeated Odin’s words, even as they reopened the wounds which had barely begun to heal.

“You know that is not true.”

He shook his head wildly, unable to shake the feeling that this was his own mind playing tricks on him. “I’m alone… I cannot do this.”

“You don’t have to fight this war alone.”

“I have no allies!”

“And only you can change that. You’re not alone, my son, your victory awaits you.”

“My… victory?” he asked, looking up at her in wonder, feeling more confused than ever.

She smiled at him, though her image wobbled.

“And your family…” Her hand touched his cheek, though he felt nothing. He so badly wanted to feel it.

The strange colours saturating his vision slowly faded then, along with the image of Frigga. Cries of frustration and sorrow resounded from his throat as she was once again taken from him.

“Mother!”

But she didn’t come forth again.

Loki didn’t know if hours passed or merely minutes, but he stayed there in the cave, on his knees. A weighty feeling of defeat was threatening to take over his consciousness, with the thought of Reva being the only thing to keep it at bay.

He had to check on her. His instincts were compelling him to do it.

Hence, he rose to his feet and made his way over to the passageway.

Once he was through it, his seidr rippled and caught on to the wards he had put in place to contain the unruly mortal twins.

His eyes widened as he realized that the girl, Wanda, had broken through them somehow. It was, perhaps, an aftereffect of his weakened magic that she was able to do so.

Nonetheless, this new development meant that the twins were out now, and were most definitely wreaking havoc in some manner.

Loki closed his eyes and checked his reserves for residual magic. It wasn’t much, and he felt highly exposed for the lack of it, but he would have to make do with whatever he had. It would take at least a week for him to replenish it, considering the constant drain caused by the infinity stones. For one, it was a small mercy that he had just enough of it to summon the scepter from his interdimensional hold.

The scepter materialized slowly in his hand, his body shuddering with its power. It glowed a bright blue upon his regard, unsettling him.

A single thought trickled into his brain then, which he was able to trace back to the otherworldly weapon. A single thought that nearly made him collapse on his knees again.

Reva was in distress. He didn’t know how or why the scepter knew that, but he did know that he had to act quickly.

He first landed in her abode, which he immediately knew was empty. Logic told him that he ought to head over to the Stark Tower. Instinct, however, told him that it was not the place where Reva was. The odd message was still being relayed from the scepter… Reva was in some sort of trouble.

He closed his eyes for a moment, hoping to connect with the scepter in a manner that allowed him more clarity of vision.

The scepter hummed in his grip, the energy travelling up his arm, its strange magic at odds with his own. He had known it to contain magic, but it had never willingly interacted with him before. The sensation wasn’t pleasant, but he persevered. He had to… for Reva’s sake.

Suddenly, an image erupted in his mind’s eye, making him aware of a location he had seen before… somewhere he had been before.

Squaring his shoulders, Loki opened his eyes and teleported to the SHIELD headquarters.

———————————————–

Chaos was the one word that came to his mind as he arrived at SHIELD, with people running helter-skelter and explosions resounding all over. Usually, he quite enjoyed the nature of chaos, for there was a strange beauty to it, that which not everyone could appreciate.

However, right now, chaos was something that wasn’t matching up to his plans and he needed to be rid of it.

Loki had arrived on one of the lower levels of the building, having known it well from his last visit here in the guise of Nick Fury.

It was empty, everyone having evacuated rather quickly, he assumed. There was no sign of Reva here. Hence, he moved on, his eyes searching for her frantically in all the dark corners and niches of the building as he made his way up.

He desperately wanted to use magic to cover his tracks, to disguise himself, but he knew that he had precious little left of it; saving it was priority.

Perhaps the time was nigh to make it known that he was here, after all. He didn’t care for anyone’s reaction to it, just that Reva be safe and sound.

Suddenly, he heard the sounds of struggle, and a familiar voice made his ears twitch.

Reva…

He quickened his pace to that of a sprint, chasing the voices he was hearing somewhere at the other end of the long corridor he was in.

As he came closer, he saw her. She appeared to be frozen and struggling, with a robot trying to crowd her with its enormous metallic body. Wanda Maximoff stood next to her, her hands glowing red.

“You realize this is exactly what science fiction warned us about? These robots are mad!”

If it weren’t a situation so dire, Loki would’ve affectionately chuckled at her attempt to use logic to be free.

“Let her go,” he said as he stepped into the field of their vision, raising the scepter as a warning.

He needed to have Reva at a safe distance before unleashing anything from the scepter, hence, he was essentially posturing, hoping that the threat would be enough to force her assailants to retreat.

Reva’s gaze locked with his as she looked up in surprise. It twisted his heart to see that she didn’t seem pleased to see him.

“Loki…” she whispered, but said nothing more.

Suddenly, a blast of red energy came right at him. His quick reflexes aided him in stepped away from its line of fire just in time.

“Wanda, don’t do this!” he yelled as she sent another blast at him. “This isn’t the war you want to fight in!”

“Don’t tell me what to do!” she yelled back, adamant as ever.

“You shouldn’t be in a war! You are not old enough for it.”

“You don’t get to tell me that!”

“Uh, guys I think this conversation needs a hasty conclusion. I still hear explosions.” Reva exchanged a few glances with him and Wanda, her eyes furtive.

Loki decided to try and convince Wanda again. “This is madness, child, this automation isn’t your friend. He simply wants to use you to further his own endeavours. Please try to think what your actions are causing.”

The said automation laughed in response to his words.

“Less damage than what you caused,” Wanda countered, dislodging a piece of the ceiling to bring it down on Loki. He evaded it easily.

“And I paid a heavy price for it! Don’t make the same mistake.” He was being earnest here, and he hoped that she’d pay attention to what he was saying.

Wanda stared at him blankly, and for a moment, it appeared to him that she was thinking of heeding his words.

“You can end this campaign without causing further damage. You can—”

Suddenly, he was hit from behind, hard enough that it knocked him off his feet. The scepter flew from his grip, landing a few steps away. He groaned and picked himself up. As he did so, he was hit again.

Right in front of his eyes, the scepter vanished. That’s when he realized what was happening.

Pietro…

“I got a plane waiting upstairs!” he heard the boy shout, never once seeing his form in full as he ran away from him.

A blast of energy hit Loki then, who, in his distracted state, had taken his eyes off Wanda. A bad decision indeed. The attack was strong enough to shake his bones and disorient him, even if momentarily.

He heard more commotion as he tried to recover and stand up.

Reva was shrieking, the robot was talking. Loki was unable to get his bearings and understand what was being said.

“Wanda, no,” he groaned, knowing full well that she was going to follow her brother. The brother who was now in possession of the scepter.

Another blast of her magic was fired at him, and he was barely able to roll over to avoid it.

Norns… give me the strength… he prayed silently, picking himself up from the floor as Wanda and the robot went the same way as Pietro, with Reva still their captive. He could hear her screaming as she was carried upstairs, and he tried to give chase.

Dashing up the stairs that led to the top of the building, Loki tried not to think of the various scenarios where might find his beloved dead.

No! He had worked so hard to prevent it from happening. He wouldn’t let it happen… couldn’t let it happen. He had even promised her so…

When he reached the top, however, the flying machine was gone. There was no sign of Reva or the twins, nor of the murderous robot that held her.

Instead, Thor stood there now, his eyes wide, shock clearly written on his face.

Loki cursed his damned luck for the umpteenth time…

“Loki?” Thor’s voice held a tremor as he said his name, so unlike his usual self that Loki couldn’t quite believe his ears.

“Brother…” he murmured, feeling ripples of shock go through him as well.

This wasn’t the reunion he had planned for. Nothing was going as he had planned. Nothing at all.

“I know that this is quite the shock, but I need to leave,” he said, raising his hands in a peace offering, to demonstrate that he wasn’t trying to cause trouble.

He wanted to be out of this situation at the earliest, for he knew that time was not on his side. Reva was still very much in danger.

“No you don’t.” Thor’s visage changed suddenly, as anger took over the shocked and confused expression he earlier held. “You betrayed me that day on Svartalfheim… making a mockery of your own death!”

“I didn’t. I wasn’t trying to.”

“I mourned you!”

“I’m honoured.”

“I realize now that you’re not worth it.” With that Thor roared and slammed into him, mjiolnir ready to strike.

Loki feinted the attack by jumping aside, knowing Thor’s combat style and using the knowledge to avoid getting hit.

“Thor, we can do this later.”

“We’re not! I’m done mourning you, over and over again. I want answers!”

Thor let go of the hammer and grabbed Loki by shoulders, shaking him as his face contorted in anger. “You have no idea how it felt. How I blamed and tormented myself for your death… for everything that happened prior. I deserve to know!”

“It certainly wasn’t a waste of effort, brother.” Loki tried to get out of his hold, kicking him in the ribs to slip away.

Thor groaned as the blow landed but it didn’t deter him from going after Loki again. “It certainly feels like that, seeing you alive, hale and hearty!”

He threw a punch as Loki was backing away, catching his shoulder instead of his face. It was off the mark but still enough to knock Loki down.

“Will you ever not deceive me?” he asked, still full of ire as he called the mjiolnir to his hand.

Loki experienced something strange then… what the Midgardians often referred to as ‘déjà vu.’

He was on his back and Thor loomed above him, bringing the hammer to rest on his chest, pinning him to the floor.

“I’m not deceiving you,” Loki exhaled, feeling the crushing weight of the hammer on his chest once again. “I need to… I need to be elsewhere and I don’t have time for this. We can talk later, at length, as much as you wish.”

“You’d be a fool to think that I’d trust you anymore with anything, any word.” Thor looked down at him with sad, yet angry eyes. “It has happened one too many times, Loki. You have taken advantage of me.”

Rage boiled inside him, sudden and urgent, with the heavy weight of desperation.

“I saved your life, you thankless, witless oaf! And not just your own, but your beloved’s!” He grabbed the mjiolnir with both hands, his ire wanting a target. “I put myself in the line of fire for her, for you! You only wished to use me in your endeavour to save her and then throw me back in the dungeons to rot forever! And yet here you are, sermonizing me about taking advantage of you!”

Thor took a step back, surprised by the venom in Loki’s voice.

“I died Thor! I went to Helheim, as a monster is wont to do! All for you and your mortal!” He gritted his teeth and pushed at the hammer, tears of frustration forming in his eyes as the vision of Reva, dead in his arms assaulted his thoughts.

“Then are you—”

“Enough! If she dies, Thor, if she gets harmed, I will lay waste to everything. Everything! I swear on the Yggdrasil if you do not let me go I will—”

“Who are you even talking about?”

“I will not sit idle and let her die!” Something unexpected happened then, as Loki pushed at mjiolnir in his rage and desperation. It shifted in his grip. Shocked, he pushed again, and it gave, sliding off his chest to land on the floor with a thud.

Loki rose to his feet in a flash, watching Thor with wary rage, who returned an equal enough gaze of wariness.

“How did you… that’s not possible.”

“As much as I’d love to have a discourse on why and how, I don’t have time.”

Loki was preparing using his magic to escape Thor, when he spoke up again. “You’re… in love.”

“That’s also not possible, I suppose, given your low regard of me,” he responded, unable to help himself from using sarcasm.

“Where’s she?” Thor asked, stepping closer to Loki. “What happened?”

“They—Ultron and the Maximoffs—took her, in a flying… in a craft.”

“The quinjet.”

He looked at Thor sharply. “You know about it?”

“I’ve travelled in these things. Saw one taking off from here and fly north.”

Loki sighed wearily, wondering just how much magic it would take him to get there… if at all he was able to locate the quinjet.

“I’ll take you,” Thor offered with a nod. “It cannot have gone very far.”

Loki looked at him in surprise. “You really are offering me a helping hand?”

Thor gave Loki a knowing smirk, a sort of interaction that they hadn’t shared in years. “You did so with Jane. Besides, I’m curious to know her.”

——————————————-

Reva groaned and tried to sit up, her head throbbing after it had been banged against something hard.

Oh, she remembered with a wince… her head hadn’t been banged against something, but something hard had hit her head. She guessed it to be the bot’s fist.

She blinked several times to clear her vision as she tried to remember more details about her assault.

She had heard the girl—Wanda—gasp just before she was hit. She had also heard a few other explosions in the distance. Nothing else came back to her.

Trying to get her bearings, she felt the floor beneath her shake and hum. With a start, she realized that she in a plane, up in the air somewhere.

She looked up and found the girl—Wanda—staring at her as if she was trying to solve a riddle. Prying her eyes from her, she looked around the interior of the plane, trying to place the bot. She couldn’t find it anywhere near the girl, which was a relief.

“Dizzy?” Wanda asked suddenly, startling Reva as she was trying to sit up.

Well, it was an opening for a conversation, a possibility for a negotiation.

She nodded. “It’s not everyday that I get hit by murderous robots.”

“What else did you think was going to happen,” she said in caustic tone, “when you let that murderous alien into your bed?”

Reva ignored that jibe, instead, focusing back on Wanda. “I’m pretty certain that in terms of body count, you’re now ahead of him.”

Wanda glared at her but remained quiet. Reva tried to think of something to continue the flow of the conversation. The more familiar she made herself to Wanda, the more chances of survival she had. Rational people always hesitated in killing someone who had had some sort of acquaintance with them.

Of course, she was assuming that Wanda was rational…

“What’s your motivation even? Like, at least Loki wanted to rule the Earth. What’s your end game?”

“Revenge.” Wanda didn’t elaborate.

Reva sighed, then looked down. “Revenge from Loki?”

“No, Stark.”

That surprised her, but she didn’t let it show. “Then why take me?”

The boy—Pietro–entered the cabin then, and answered the question for Wanda. “Because Loki took us and kept us locked up all this time.”

“He didn’t want you to get involved, to be used as weapons.” Reva did wonder now if that was the true motivation of Loki for keeping the twins locked up.

After all, he wasn’t known to be truthful, and he had indeed lied to her.

“We want to be weapons, this is why we volunteered for Strucker’s experiments,” Wanda muttered, her eyes growing unfocused as she looked beyond Reva, most probably reliving certain memories from her time with Strucker.

“Of course, who am I to stop you from hurting yourself… or innocent people.”

“Do we really need her?” Pietro asked, looking at his sister with genuine look of curiosity.

Wanda shrugged. “Ultron wanted to.”

“And you obviously listen to him like obedient pets,” Reva muttered, losing her patience with the situation a bit. The kids were beyond reason.

Wanda seemed poised to tell her off, but then the cockpit door opened and in came Ultron. “Ah, the sleeping beauty awakens.”

“What’s with you and Disney references?”

“We all have our interests, likes and dislikes. Speaking of dislikes, your acquaintance is certainly on my strong dislike list.”

It was Loki he was referring to, and Reva wonder how he planned to use her to gain leverage over him. It made her very fearful for her safety.

“I don’t know why you are talking to me then, when your feud is with him,” she said, trying to gauge if logic worked with him, considering his very nature as a logic based computer program.

“Ah,” he said, then pulled the scepter from behind his broad metal back. “But here’s the beauty of it. You have a connection to him, whereby, if I hurt you, it shall hurt him.”

“What are you doing?” Wanda stood up suddenly, as Reva backed into the seat in reflex action.

“Hey, as far as we’re concerned, she’s of no use to us, really.” Now Pietro came up next to his sister. Reva noticed that he had put his body between her and Ultron, and realized that the twins weren’t fully confident in their friendship with the AI.

She just hoped that they kept bickering and didn’t pay her any mind. Then, maybe Loki would find her and… save her? She certainly hoped he would, though doubt was trying to claw its way into her mind.

“How about we step back from her and deal with this matter more efficiently?” Ultron motioned towards her with his free hand, a hint of sarcasm in his tone.

“More efficiently? How?” Wanda asked, her wary gaze shifting from Ultron to Reva and back. She did back away from her, though, and Pietro followed her lead.

“Well, since you are so correct in your assessment of not needing her…” he said, waving his hand in the air. “…we might as well get rid of her.”

And as he ended that sentence, he brought the scepter down on Reva. Her eyes widened, and she rolled away at the last millisecond, unsure how her reflexes even handled that situation.

She heard yelling, both the twins crying out and speaking in a foreign tongue. She wasn’t sure what was being said and really, that wasn’t even a priority, because she was certain that another attack was coming.

Her hands grabbed at the various contraptions attached to the interior of the plane as she tried to stand up and face Ultron. Just as she did, she was hit with a blast of energy from his palm… so strong that it knocked her against the metallic inner walls of the plane, causing a dent not unlike the table at SHIELD.

He looked poised to strike again, but then he was knocked down. Reva couldn’t even see clearly what exactly knocked him down, but it seemed like one of the twins had done it.

“Stop!” Wanda screamed at Ultron, her hands glowing and aimed at him. That… was a pleasant surprise to Reva.

“Oh Wanda, you cannot be serious,” he said, sounding way too calm for the commotion he was causing. “This is our chance at getting back at Loki.”

Wanda faltered, though her hands still glowed.

“It isn’t really on our agenda.” Pietro said from somewhere in the cabin. He must be zipping about, for Reva couldn’t see him.

“Well, it’s on mine.” Ultron threw the scepter at Reva once again, and as she was stuck against a corner, she couldn’t move away in time.

It struck her in the chest, going through and pinning her to the inner walls of the plane.

More screaming ensued, but it sounded distant as pain erupted in her chest, sharp and rippling throughout her body.

The plane tilted sideways and down, and sounds of metal being crunched and ripped rang about her.

Her vision turned blurry as she choked on her breath, knowing that it was worse… much worse than the last time Ultron had struck her.

Strangely enough, she felt the heat and energy of the scepter, now imbedded in her chest. It made her feel… calm. Weirdly calm.

On the very edge of awareness now, as her vision began to fade, Reva could finally understand the minds of the twins through the scepter. However, she couldn’t really focus on them… as she felt her own life force ebbing.

Blood churned in her chest and welled upwards, its metallic taste overwhelming her mouth.

More harsh noises reached her ears, slashing and clashing, screaming and chaos.

“Reva!” That was… familiar. Painfully so.

Maybe she was hallucinating, maybe this was how death played out. It tricked the mind into experiencing the scenarios it badly wanted.

For her right now, it was to hear Loki’s voice one last time… and hear him she did, even if it was an anguished cry of desperation.

[recentanimenews]

Peter's Picks for the 2017 Anime Awards

It’s that time already. The 2017 Anime Awards are upon us and competition looks even fiercer than last year. Now that voting is open, I assume you all are fulfilling your civic duty and making your voice heard by voting. In case you find yourself stuck on a category, however, I’ve laid out all my votes and the reasons why I think each deserves to win on February 24th.

Best Action: My Hero Academia

My Hero Academia has all the best features of shonen series when it comes to fighting. The battles this season were creative, strategic, and possessed an emotional heart. Feelings are a tangible force in shonen that can both determine the outcome of a battle and ensure the struggle possesses real meaning. The fight between Deku and Todoroki put the absolute best of the series on display and Bones brought out the big guns, ensuring all the highlights were given unforgettable visual sequences.

Best Drama: Showa Genroku Rakugo Shinju

On my shortlist for best anime this year, Rakugo is difficult to summarize; a story tackling many different themes and spanning over half a century. Following the practitioners of a niche form of Japanese theater, Rakugo tells the story of one performer's life, his influence on his loved ones and the future of his art, and his struggles with intimacy and his own mortality. It’s a disservice to this anime to describe it as anything other than a true masterpiece from the story, to the voice performances, to the wonderful visual direction.

Best Comedy: Miss Kobayashi’s Dragon Maid

Although some of the other series on this list may have drawn out more consistent laughs, I don’t feel like any of the provided such a complete package as Miss Kobayashi’s Dragon Maid, effortlessly weaving jokes in between cathartic moments and the daily life of one supremely bizarre found family. The series tackled humor from a number of directions so it never grew stale and often felt inventive, even using it in service of the plot. Discovering this series may have been one of my most pleasant surprises of this year.

Best Slice of Life: Tsukigakirei

This may be my most selfish pick among any of the categories, but I really feel like Tsukigakirei was something special, offering a romance that wasn’t about getting together but staying together. Kotaro and Akane experience firsts together, step outside their comfort zones, and force each other to grow. It’s a wonderfully affirming reminder that we’re all awkward. The series dips slightly into melodrama from time to time but the resolution is inevitably a message to do the right thing and put in your best effort. You may not always get what you want, but you can be satisfied in the end.

Best Continuing Series: March comes in like a lion

I’ve been onboard this train since the very beginning, but the new season of March comes in like a lion surprised even me, taking everything that made the first season great and turning it up to 11. Seeing Rei growing and learning to rely on his support network is indescribably rewarding and the new subplot with Hina absolutely devastating. This season delivered what I consider to be one of the best single episodes this year, introducing a conflict so frustrating and authentic you’ll be left feeling genuine bitterness until it reaches its resolution.

Best Girl: Chise Hatori

While many seem focused on a certain bone-headed magus, I was originally drawn to The Ancient Magus’ Bride by Chise. One of the joys of the series is watching her slow emergence from a dark place, the victim of abuse and certain that there is no person or place in this world that will have her, into a confident and capable individual with a sense of belonging. Chise finding satisfaction in the opportunity to help others and learning to allow herself selfish happiness are one of the features that make the series truly magical.

Best Boy: Rei Kiriyama

Rei is probably the most moving portrayal of an individual suffering from chronic depression and anxiety I have seen in fiction, full stop.  The series has tracked his progress of overcoming his self-isolating instincts of feeling that he is a burden upon others to reaching out to those who bring him happiness. Where Chise may be able to one day find contentment, Rei’s quest feels less certain, but he’s gained the conviction to find and hold onto as many moments of happiness as he can.

Best Hero: Izuku “Deku” Midoriya

All-Might describes Deku and the quintessential hero and who am I to disagree with All-Might? Horikoshi’s vision of what defines heroism is one of the features which I believe elevates My Hero Academia to the stand shoulder-to-shoulder with the other legendary shonen series and Deku is the personification of that ideal. A person who instinctively reaches out to those in need, even to his own detriment, even if he knows he will regret it. Honesty, empathy, and altruism made him a true hero even before All-Might gave him the power to realize the demands of his heart.

Best Villain: Stain

The obvious choice, Stain is both a villain and the central point upon which the new arc of My Hero Academia turns, inspiring an entire generation of disenfranchised individuals to rise up against the authority which has failed them. This aspect of his character also makes him the only sympathetic villain among the nominations. He sees rampant corruption among the pantheon of heroes dedicated to protecting the helpless and rejects them. Although his methods are evil, the truth of his criticisms resonates with those who have suffered as he has.

Best Manga: My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness

I don’t know if I’ve ever read any work of sequential art as real as My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness. Nagata’s experiences reach the extremes of debilitating anxiety, depression, and existential uncertainty, but have such a universal element of struggle told with such candidness that it's impossible not to engage with her autobiographical tale and draw a sense of common struggle and optimism from her hard-earned lessons.

Best Opening: “SHINZOU WO SASAGEYO! (心臓を捧げよ!)”

Of all the ways Studio WIT delivers with Attack on Titan, their OPs and EDs may be my favorite part. Each and everyone feels like they deserve a place among these nominations (if only the Anime Awards had been around during the first season), delivering a concentrated dose of the bombastic, over-the-top style of the show itself. The newest is no exception, with an energized anthem to get your blood pumping for 20 minutes of tension, violence, and horror that will inevitably culminate in a cliffhanger.

Best Ending: “STEP UP LOVE (ステップアップLOVE)”

Blood Blockade Battlefront & Beyond has an emotional and thematic rhythm that is very unique, portraying the extreme deadliness neighborhood of Hellsalem’s Lot in a strange, light-hearted sense, like a quirky clubhouse full of misfits that often kill each other. How is the ending sequence captures that bizarre contradiction is beyond me, but it sure is fun. I love everything about the ending, from the music to the psychedelic animation, showing off the cast at their wackiest.

Best Film: In This Corner of the World

Possibly the hardest choice on the list is between In This Corner of the World and A Silent Voice, but I have to give it to MAPPA’s creation half-a-decade in the making. The staff went in trying to tell a human story and portrayed one of the most evocative tragedies I’ve ever witnessed without exploiting the characters suffering as a selling point. The film is both devastating and inspirational, carrying with it a message that all-too-relevant at this moment in time.

Best CGI: Land of the Lustrous

2017 may have been the single greatest year for CG in anime, with several releases that really showed how it could be utilized in ways that 2D can’t replicate. I was surprised not to see Polygon Pictures’ Blame! make it into the nominations. Barring that, Land of the Lustrous was a beautiful adaptation that took Haruko Ichikawa’s framework and made its own visual world. The hand-painted backgrounds and CG characters never felt awkward against one another and the characters gestures and use of the gem’s colors on the environment were spectacular.

Best Score: Made in Abyss

I remember reaching the theatrical climax of the very episode. The camera panned across the city as the light from the sunrise broke over the top of the mountain and into the caldera then dove into the gaping maw of the abyss. The score in the scene absolutely sold the moment for me and the completeness of the experience had me sure the series was something special. It’s one of those series you know early on is going to have a vinyl soundtrack release.

Best Animation: A Silent Voice

As much as I’m a fan of Yutaka Nakamura battle cuts, Yoh Yoshinari’s absolutely wild effects animation, and the immensely evocative visual style of March comes in like a lion, A Silent Voice seems like the obvious choice since, well, it was a film that allowed the already sterling consistent quality of Kyoto Animation to put their absolute best into every moment. A necessity in a story that focused so closely on expression and gesture.

Anime of the Year: Land of the Lustrous

I can’t help but give this one to Land of the Lustrous. Haruko Ichikawa’s exploration of human nature through the unlikely lens of anthropomorphic gemstones is utterly captivating, stripping away all of our superficial layers one by one to reach some sort of ultimate truth of humanity. Orange’s adaptation is inspired, presenting one of the greatest arguments yet for the use of CG in anime. It’s gorgeous, mysterious, eerie in its ever-present sense of danger, and almost heartbreakingly tragic.

Those are my favorites for this year! Choosing between the nominees wasn't easy, but I feel confident the best of the year was represented in each category. What do you think of my picks? Do you disagree my choices? Share your picks in the comments below!

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Peter Fobian is Features and Reviews Editor for Crunchyroll, author of Monthly Mangaka Spotlight, writer for Anime Academy, and contributor at Anime Feminist. You can follow him on Twitter @PeterFobian.

By: news+feed@crunchyroll.com