#Eddie Munson x Chubby!Readder

[storiesbyrhi]

Angel of the First Degree - Chapter 15: Christmas

Eddie Munson x Chubby!Reader 3605 words Series Masterlist

Warnings: Anxiety; fatphobia including internalised; drug use; bullying; body issues; discussion of body function and fluids; period shame/stigma; disclosure of sexual assault (chapter 2); disordered eating and thoughts of food; shitty/abusive/critical parents; porn magazines; smut; reference to suicide (specifically Virginia Woolf’s); no beta; grief/mourning; verbal fighting; meat (turkey)... for the vegans; warnings updated each chapter

Synopsis: When Eddie Munson finds you in the midst of a panic attack, it is the beginning of something. A fic featuring body and sex positivity, Eddie in a dress, soft small moments, scary big truths, and all the usual special feelings you’d expect from one of my stories.

Chapter Summary: It was the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

Author's Note: We also continue with our little peppering of glimpses into Eddie’s masterplan. Bonus: We find out what's in the Garfield mug.

“The roads are awful,” you tried to argue.

It was just under a week until Christmas, and from where you sat on the bed, you could see snow falling outside. Forest Hills had already become a depressing version of a winter wonderland.

“I’m taking Wayne’s truck. He got chains put on.”

Eddie continued to shove things into his duffle bag, not bothering to face you as he spoke.

“Why can’t they at least meet you halfway?”

Eddie held back a smirk. “It’s not the same as me driving over to someone’s house to sell them a few joints. Not your friendly neighbourhood drug dealer. They’re a supplier, you know?”

“Okay but doesn’t that make them dangerous?”

“That’s why you’re not coming,”

“Eddie,” you whined, but the pitch is sad and he heard it.

Eddie stopped packing and sat on the edge of the bed. “It’s one night, angel. I’ll be in and out there. I promise if there was a different way of getting the product, I’d do that. But no Rick means I gotta fend for myself, and I want it done before Christmas, ‘kay?”

He felt like shit for lying to you, but there was no other cover story. Eddie had spent hours thinking about it, but all alternatives made no sense. Driving to Chicago to buy a few months’ worth of drugs got him to the city without you.

Eddie had added flourishes to the story to make it seem more real. People suffered through the holidays; weed was a saving grace he could charge a premium for. People partied through the holidays; coke and party drugs at holiday rates. Supply and demand.

It was hard for you to come up with a valid enough reason for him not to go. The income generated from the product would be supporting you after all. Regardless, you felt sick knowing Eddie would be alone on the icy roads for so long, and you were terrified at the thought of who he’d be meeting in the Windy City.

When Eddie kissed you goodbye, he held your face in his hands and studied it. “I love you,” he said softly while his expression was set in a hard frown.

“I love you too. Be safe.”

Once he was gone, you went back to bed with the hopes of sleeping through the subsequent forty-eight hours.

At the wheel of Wayne’s truck, Eddie had Hawkins in his rearview mirror, and a list of addresses and times riding shotgun.

…

It came as a surprise to you that you had, in fact, not met all the different sides of Eddie. As Christmas Eve Day dawned, your boyfriend was running on adrenaline, black coffee, and a questionable amount of sugar.

You sat at the kitchen counter, nursing a cup of milky tea, watching him measure out herbs and spices. At first, he was explaining the recipe to you. Quickly it descended into Eddie muttering something about oven hot spots and internal turkey temperatures. It would have been funny if he didn’t look so unhinged.

When Wayne came home from his night shift, he froze in the doorway at the sight of Eddie in the kitchen.

“Jesus. This shit starts earlier every year,” he said.

“Yeah. Yeah. And every year I get closer to the perfect fuckin’ bird, don’t I? Huh? Yeah?”

“Alright. Calm down. Don’t get your turkey in a twist… If this is happening, I’m taking the bed for a couple’a hours,”

“Yeah, ‘kay. Don’t mind the wet patches,” Eddie replied with a dumbass smile.

You closed your eyes and felt your cheeks heat.

Wayne made a noise of extreme discontent, grabbed the blanket hung over his fold-up bed, and disappeared into the bedroom.

“Why did you have to say that?” you whined.

Eddie cackled and returned to his precious Christmas Eve roast. “After you eat this, you’ll let me say whatever I fucking want.”

When his prized bird was safely on its way to cooked perfection, you joined Eddie to help prepare the sides. Mashed potatoes and peas. Gravy and cranberry sauce. Most of it was store-bought mixes because Eddie had spent so much on the bird. You didn’t care at all. With the trailer smelling of food and pine, and a small collection of gifts under the tree, it was shaping up to be a kind of beautiful Christmas.

When Wayne emerged from the bedroom, it was late afternoon. Dinner was well on its way to being cooked, and Eddie was sitting on the floor in front of the oven. He’d let you bake gingerbread on the condition that he watched the oven to ensure his turkey wasn’t affected.

“If anything, my cookies are gonna smell like it!”

“Lucky them!”

Wayne took his usual position in the single armchair in the corner of the room. He’d put on a record then relaxed in for the night.

“We don’t always get Christmas Eve together,” Eddie explained. “He asked for it off this year,”

“That’s good,”

“For you,” he added. You had joined Eddie on the floor next to the oven, and looked over at him when he said it. “My first Christmas with him was awesome. I mean, all things considered. Reckon he wants yours to be too.”

It felt good in that way that hurts.

When your cookies were out and cooled, you and Eddie sat at the little table against the wall and began to decorate. Your first three were gingerbread replicas of you, Eddie, and Wayne. You glanced over at Eddie’s plate. He had bitten limbs off his men and eaten them happily.

“They fought valiantly,” he told you.

“Who was the war against?”

“Christian fundamentalists,” Eddie replied, not missing a beat.

“Jesus,” you laughed.

“Nah, he’s actually on the other side.”

You watched him for a few more moments, lost in his own little storyline of broken soldiers and religious zealots. Truly, there was nobody else like Eddie.

After gingerbread men and spiked eggnog, the Christmas crackers were brought out. You won against both Eddie and Wayne, wearing a pink and a blue paper hat on your head. Wayne won against Eddie, leaving Eddie to pout and smell the gunpowder sticks left in the halved crackers.

“Like sparklers,” he told you, inhaling dramatically.

Wayne unraveled the tiny piece of paper in his hands and sighed. “Why did Santa’s helper go to the doctor?” You and Eddie shrugged. “Because he had low elf esteem.”

Eddie snorted. “Alright, gimme one?” You handed him one of yours. “Ahhh, ‘kay… What’s the best Christmas present in the world? … A broken drum… You just can’t beat it,”

“We should save that for Gareth. Okay, mine says… What do you get when you cross Santa with a vampire?”

“Frostbite,” Eddie answered immediately.

“Yeah,”

“That’s my favourite Christmas joke,”

“You have a favourite Christmas joke?”

“Yeah. That and: what do you get if you cross a bell with a skunk? Jingle smells,”

“That’s bad,” you said but laughed anyway.

“Wayne has a photographic memory for shitty jokes,” Eddie told you, pointing up at his uncle.

“What did one snowman say to the other snowman? … Can you smell carrot?”

And it went on like that until the oven timer binged and Eddie screamed so loud beside you that it hurt your ears.

“Holy fuck holy fuck holy fuck. Yes. Yes, this is it. I’ve done it. I’m a god. I’m a culinary god. The best goddamn chef in all of Indiana.”

You and Wayne stood and watched Eddie pull the turkey out of the oven. He’d done the math and timed all the sides perfectly. He began to mumble to himself (although you were beginning to suspect he was actually talking to the turkey) and put things on serving plates.

“Guess we better set the table,” Wayne said.

The small table against the wall was pulled out and a third folded chair was fetched from somewhere in the trailer. You set out three plates and lots of cutlery. The table wasn’t big enough to put everything on, so Eddie arranged a buffet on the kitchen bench where you each could serve yourself from.

“Looks good, kid,” Wayne offered when you were all at the table.

Eddie took a swig from his can of beer. “Thanks,”

“Really good,” you added. Eddie smiled at you. For a split second, less than even, you saw something in his expression. “What?”

He chewed his lip. “I just… It’s good to see you excited about food,” he said softly. Only months earlier, it would have been a risky thing to say. Not anymore.

You smiled back at him.

“We eating? Or…” Wayne hesitated. “You wanna say grace or something?”

Eddie snorted. “Grace?” They pulled faces at each other, then Eddie conceded. “How ‘bout… Here’s to… graduating, having a hot girlfriend, and a perfectly cooked turkey.”

Wayne shook his head but held his drink up anyway. In unison, the three of you said cheers.

…

Christmas dessert was bags of candy and the final dregs of eggnog. You and Eddie were laying side by side on the floor under the tree, looking up at the twinkling lights.

“What time you start tomorrow?” Eddie asked Wayne.

“Early.”

You hadn’t thought about the fact that so many people work on Christmas Day. You had been living a life of privilege with your parents, one that included holidays off.

“Let’s do presents tonight then,” you suggested.

“Good idea,” Eddie agreed, sitting up and pulling Wayne’s haul out.

A couple of records, novelty socks, and a book of gift vouchers Eddie and you had made that entitled Wayne to things like ‘get out of your turn to vacuum,’ ‘one night alone in the trailer,’ and ‘get out of jail free.’ He laughed at it and Eddie made a comment about how it was probably going to come back and bite you on the asses.

“Your turn, angel,”

“We agreed one thing each,” you whined when Eddie pulled out multiple gifts.

“This one’s from him, so that doesn’t count. And also I was born to break the rules baaaaaa-beeeee,” he replied, his big brown eyes jellifying you. 

Wayne’s present to you was a gift card to Build-A-Bear. “I know it’s a bit of a cop-out, but… you know… you’re always happy when you get back from that place.” The gift card was the type you could only buy in-store. The picture of Wayne Munson in that rainbow vomit of a room was somehow even stranger than Eddie in one. You wondered if Kasey had served him.

Eddie had bought you two books, and much like the one you received for your birthday, one was suspiciously aligned with what you would have had to read if enrolled at college. The other was about how modern sociological ideologies can shape the supposed objective understanding of ancient art and literature, therefore ancient culture. Eddie got the gist of it but winced when he flicked open to a random page and tried to read the academic writing. He knew you’d love it.

After the two books, he handed over a final gift. After all the birthday presents and other things he’d given you, you wondered what there could be left for Eddie to wrap.

“Oh, fuck. Hang on,” Eddie exclaimed, jumping up and running to the bedroom, returning with Hellfire. “You might need him for this.”

Unwrapping the small box, your heart melted and you giggled at the cuteness. It was a small replica of Eddie’s pick necklace obviously meant for Hellfire. When you put it on him, it sat perfectly around the cow’s neck. Eddie had used his miniature figurine equipment to make it for you, pulling apart old jewellery in the process.

“Now he really matches you,” you said holding him up, beaming.

“Actually, he matches you. There’s more in the box.”

With Hellfire next to you, you picked the box up again and moved a piece of tissue paper. You hadn’t noticed when Eddie stopped wearing his necklace. Now, it was in the box, offered to you in an act of devotion. It was a promise that he was yours, completely and entirely. And, you were his, adorned with his trademark.

“Eddie,” you started.

He knew that tone. It was the one that voiced shaky thoughts of inadequacy.

“Before you do the whole routine,” Eddie interrupted, waving an accusing finger at you but still wearing a soft smile. “Don’t be a grinch.”

You breathed out, then nodded. The weight of the chain and pick was nothing, but still, it felt like a grounding force weighted with love.

Honestly, you didn’t know where to go from that, didn’t know how to process what the gift symbolised, so instead you picked up your Christmas present to Eddie.

“Well, I stuck to the one thing rule…” you teased.

There was a strange little store in Hawkins, barely a hole in the wall. It sold candles and incense and glittery rocks. Not long after Eddie had passed ownership of the ruby ring to you, you had seen another like it in the store. It probably wasn’t a real fancy ruby, but the red stone was genuine. The ring was less dainty than yours, but you were drawn to it every time you passed by the store.

The woman who worked there reminded you of Stevie Nicks, always in lace and hand knitted things. She had watched you come and go from her store, always lamenting over the red garnet ring. “What does it mean to you?” she asked one day.

You felt embarrassed to be so seen, but she was kind. When you told her about Eddie and showed her the stolen ruby ring, she smiled, saying, “Red garnets are gemstones full of love.” After she told you about how scientists were making synthetic garnets but without the earth energy or characterising imperfections, you moved aside so she could help a group of teenagers.

The group was vaguely familiar, maybe they had been Juniors that year. On top of the usual anxiety you felt whenever groups of kids were nearby, you sensed something else. The girls in the group were asking lots of questions about things on one side of the store, while the boys huddled together on the other. Doing your best to stay off their radar, you slowly made your way to where you could spy better. They were lining their pockets with small trinkets and crystals.

The woman had been so gentle with you, never making you feel bad for not buying whenever you stopped by. You imagined it was hard to own a business like hers in a town like Hawkins. Besides, you thought, there were rules about shoplifting. Eddie had told you he never used his five-finger discount anywhere where the owner was also the person at the register. Honour among thieves.

The kids in the store didn’t get the memo and it filled you with a dash of bravery. You quickly moved to the closed door and knocked over a stack of books that sat neatly by it. Everyone in the store looked to see what the commotion was.

“Sorry,” you said. “I’ll pick them up. You guys can pay for the stuff you’re getting while I do it. I’ll be quick.”

The boys all looked at each other. “What stuff?” one tried.

You began to slowly rebuild the book tower.

“Guess I should get baskets so customers don’t have to put things in their pockets,” the woman said, leaving the girls to go stand in the boys’ personal space.

They dumped all the things out onto the counter, legging it out the door just as you opened it wide. “Fucking bitches!” and “Freaks!” were thrown in as they left.

“Did they break anything?” you asked, walking over to help the woman put things back in their rightful homes. 

“Thankfully not. I normally just let them leave with it all,”

“Why?”

“Apparently confronting people makes myself a target, according to the Chief. S’not been the same since Hopper died…”

“I’m sorry,”

“Not your bad to apologise for. Anyway, thank you. You didn’t have to do that.”

You thought on it… “I did. It was the right thing to do.”

The woman looked at you, almost through you. She had that otherworldliness to her gaze that Eddie sometimes got. People like them saw the universe differently.

When she offered you the ring as a reward for stepping in, you declined. As you did the next time you were there and she offered, and the third. The fourth time you sighed.

“This ring stopped being mine the minute you walked in here,” she said. “I think it’s meant for your boyfriend.”

Sitting on the floor cross-legged, Eddie mirroring your position, you knew that the witchy woman was right all along.

“Just one is one more than I need,” Eddie said, tearing into the small gift. The wrapping paper gave way to the small velvet box. “Oh my gawwwd.” It was a new voice for him. “Baaaaabe. Honey bunny. Cupcake. You shouldn’t have.” He hadn’t even opened the box. “I do. I will be your wife.” But then he opened the box and his impersonation of bouncy fiancé girl dropped. His eyebrows knitted together.

“You don’t like it?” you said more than asked before you could stop yourself.

“No, no, I love it. It’s just too much,”

“Oh. No. It’s not…” You went to say more but didn’t really know how to begin to justify something so small to someone so big.

Thankfully, Eddie shut up and accepted it, putting the ring on and staring at it. You knew him well enough to know he was holding back tears. His eyes glossed over and he scrunched his nose up like a rabbit. When he was ready, he looked back up at you.

“I love you,” he said so seriously. There were so many things going through his mind. A masterplan with so many moving parts he felt tired all the time. It was coming together though, and he was so close to the reveal.

“I love you too,” you replied, voice shaky.

Wayne waited a few moments before breaking up the intense gaze-off you and Eddie were in. He cleared his throat. “I’ll put this here for safe keepin’,” he said, standing and reaching up to a shelf of his mugs to put the book of vouchers in it. As he angled the Garfield mug, he heard a sound. You watched Wayne pull the mug down and peer inside. “What the hell?”

“You would not fucking believe how long I’ve been waiting for you to find that!” Eddie said, loud and proud, shooting up and clapping his hands.

Wayne fished out the object and held it up. It was a human tooth. “Jesus. Is this real?”

“Ah-huh,” Eddie answered, cackling. You and Wayne both waited for him to explain. “You remember when one of my wisdom teeth was coming in?”

“Do I bloody remem- Yes, Eddie, I do. Bitched and moaned about it day and night but wouldn’t go see anybody ‘bout it,”

“Yeah, well, you know Hacksaw Henry? Got him to pull out the back tooth so the new one could just come in. Worked a treat.”

It was hard to tell who was more horrified.

“You did what?” Wayne nearly yelled.

“Hacksaw Henry?” The name told you a lot but you needed to know more.

Eddie laughed again. “That’s been in there for almost two years,”

“Hells bells, you’re going to be the death of me,” Wayne said, flopping back down on his armchair and throwing the tooth across the room to Eddie.

“No, seriously, Hacksaw Henry?”

“He’s from the other side of the park. Watches too much T.V. and reads these weird medical journals. He’s Forest Hill’s resident quote unquote doctor,” Eddie told you while examining his old molar, remembering the day it was pulled from his jaw.

“You let him pull a healthy tooth?”

“Nah; I paid him to pull it. ‘Sides, the tooth wasn’t perfectly healthy. When the wisdom one started to break through, this one started to rot. See?” he explained, handing the tooth down to you.

You could see what he was talking about, but all in all, it still seemed like an insane thing to do.

“Cheaper than an actual dentist. Hurt like a bitch, but heard getting your wisdom teeth out does too. Skulled a six pack before to calm my jangled nerves… And voila…” Eddie added. “Honestly thought you’d find it sooner, old man… Guess Garfield isn’t your favourite?”

“You know those are the special ones,” Wayne said, pointing to that particular shelf of mugs.

“Can I keep this?” you asked, still studying the tooth.

Eddie looked at you and grinned wide. He loved that you wanted it. That you’d asked for it. He would have pulled all his teeth to give you a complete set if you’d use that soft voice again.

“Consider it your final present. Merry Christmas, babe.”

Forest Hills was loud and lit up with Christmas cheer. Once you and Eddie had retired to bed that night, you held each other under the covers.

“It’s weird we both went with jewellery,” he said, finishing the sentence with a kiss on your forehead.

“Great minds?”

“Great minds,” he agreed.

The stretch between Christmas and New Years was a strange liminal time for most people. As you and Eddie drifted to sleep, bruises from his lips leaving a trail from your neck to your underwear, your two great minds thought of that in-between space and what it meant for you both.

Next Chapter: Fireworks

End Note: RIP at Wayne sitting there while you and Eddie get all lovey dovey over a tooth lmaoooo. Also, If you’ve seen the episode of Bob’s Burgers where Bob starts talking to the bird and falling in love and shit, that’s the energy we were channeling here.

Fic Taglist: @ajeff855 @b-barnes04 @eddie-munson-is-a-sweetheart have you changed your URL? @nerd-squad-headquarters @word-wytch @harrys-tittie @munsonsmel0dy @sidthedollface2 @eddiethesexy @bardicfrustration @orpheusredux @munsonsgirl71 @a-time-for-wolvess @eddieswifu @rosaline-black @thegirlwhohides @emotionaldreamer @e0509 @briasnow-blog @kiyastrf94 @erinsingalong @rainylana @thescarletangelsstuff @mrsdollardog @tayhar811 @chickennug90 @b-irock @nana90azevedo @eddiemunson95 @akiratoro420

Eddie Taglist: @solomons-finest-rum @ruinedbythehobbit @munsonlives @sweetpeapod @depressooo-expressooo-blog @thorfemmes @hawkins-high @corrodedhawkins @grungegrrrl @lilzabob @mymoonisalways-in-scorpio @averagemisfit03 @ches-86 @ilovecupcakesandtea @onehotgreasymechanic @hazydespair @lacrymosa-24