#Embeef

[cookie-nom-nom]

oh nooo ep 35 utterly rekindled my Emberose flame. Anyway it works so well as a messy polycule, just really adds this extra layer to the dynamic. These boys have no communication! Half their mental health tips to each other is suppression! Such a fantastic ‘it’s Complicated’ ship. Emerich is so clearly desperate for approval. He wants to be appreciated and shows how much he cares by his inventions. But that often means he withdraws from them to work on a project. It’s a gift, he’s doing it for them, but he also just gets sucked in. And then there’s the periods where nobody sees him for days, locked in his workroom. And eventually Beef busts down the door and finds a sleep deprived mess ignoring hunger and injuries and exhaustion because he wants to get this project right for them. Because that is how he shows he cares. Fumbling, awkward words of affection too of course, he’s blunt on it albeit often coming off strange. He seems pretty free with hugs, occasionally a kiss if he remembers, though obviously he’s some type of ace. But for the most part Emerich goes for dragging his special interest to them and excitedly showing it off. He’ll ramble about other things that catch his interest too, old sports movies, SciFi tiktoks of water skiing feats, but mostly it’s the inventions he designs specifically with his partners in mind. It’s his way of showing love, and hoping to be given gratitude and acknowledgment in return. Emerich calls them partners in that vague way where nobody can tell if he means in the romantic or professional sense. Montrose calls them associates though. Not even friends. He’ll retain his air of smug separation no matter what, refusing to ever close the emotional distance, like he doesn’t quite give weight to the other’s feelings. He flirts, sure, often even. But it’s almost in that way bards do, pure dripping charisma, where you can’t tell how genuine it is. Emerich doesn’t clock it half the time, but when he does turns pink and tries to flirt back disastrously. Which is why Montrose does it; because it’s amusing. Beef tends to reciprocate in a more grounded, genuine way, but sometimes he’s just irked by how insincere it comes off. Random bursts of short arguments aren’t uncommon given the different ways they define their relationship. Because the mask never comes off even when they’re literally making out. Maybe it can’t. Montrose is eight layers of act so deep not he even knows his true self. But he does care, even if he refuses to acknowledge it. He tells himself his worry is pure pragmatism since they’re his associates. Frankly none of us know what’s going on in his head, but at the very least he doesn’t seem to treat reality as anything more than a game or a roleplay. Montrose maintains that suave detachment, acting like it’s a one night stand even though they’ve been living together for years.

Beef doesn’t. He makes his affections clear, upfront. Not that he’s the only one who’s willing to be emotionally vulnerable; Beef clearly has trust issues and suppresses his trauma. But simultaneously, he’s upfront with the fact he thinks they’re in a relationship. He cares openly and deeply. They’re both so reckless in a way that drives Beef insane with worry. Montrose just throws himself into risky situations, and Emerich never takes care of himself. And Beef wants to take that hit for them, his first instinct is to protect, and so often he feels guilty. Which he suppresses. And frankly he’s irritated by it, that they’re putting themselves and him through that pain. He’s tired of having to carry Emerich to their bed just to wake in the middle of the night and find him gone, the glow of the workstation seeping beneath the door. He’s tired of Montrose never dropping his literal or metaphorical mask, never admitting if he really cares or not, catching his hand whenever Beef tries to gently peel away the mask and force them to be truly face to face. Beef is the emotional glue that holds it all together and it’s exhausting sometimes. He wants to be clear in his affections and intentions, but Montrose refuses to admit anything and Emerich keeps withdrawing. He wants to call them his significant others but feels like he can’t because of how the other two treat the relationship. 

It’s just…complicated