#Eschatalia Solanum

[motheatenscarf]

In Mistbound D&D last night, our DM decided to throw a fucking BEHOLDER at us despite us only being level 6.

I was thinking, surely it can't be a REAL Beholder, he's just adjusted the stats somehow

and then it blasted a fucking disintegration beam at us.

Now, they dodged it, they were fine, but Talia didn't like that and is an oath of vengeance Paladin. So she ran up, swore a vow of enmity on him on top of her already holding Hunter's Mark, and smacked the shit out of it. I acknowledged that I knew it wouldn't do anything mechanically, but for flavor's sake, said I would grab the eyestalk that just shot at my friend and pull the Beholder closer to me as I smacked it to make myself a problem it couldn't ignore.

Then got a crit, for which Talia still had a level 2 spell slot to burn on a smite.

The results were disgusting.

We're level SIX.

I cannot stress enough, it COULD have been higher, had I not used my stupid Fallen Aasimar shroud in the trash fight leading up to this. It could have been 79 if I'd saved my resources better.

My character before this was a Warlock with hex and invocations boosted Eldritch Blast, at level TWENTY he got 2 crits on the same blast in our last fight and dealt 81 points of damage in a single turn and I'd never been more proud of him.

Talia is level SIX, and I was bad about my resource management, and she did seventy three points of radiant and slashing damage to a Beholder in its own lair, in front of its cult followers, doin em dirty in front of they dad.

Anyway, our DM honored the pants shitting amount of damage she did by saying, yeah, no, you... you cut off that eyestalk. The disintegration beam is gone from the table now. That... what fuck, Talia?

And then getting even more insane, our Barbarian, after failing to make his save to avoid the 41 points of Necrotic damage he wasn't resistant to, had a realization. Talia was tanking the biting damage, and he was tanking the eye beams, but Talia resists necrotic and radiant, and he resists piercing, so we should switch!

So as a halfling, he jumped into its mouth to keep it from biting Talia and to ensure the eyebeams couldn't hit him!

It was.... completely insane and tactically brilliant???? Anyway, he carved it up from the inside out and emerged from that fight bathed in its blood with 3 levels of exhaustion.

It was a good encounter.

We're level 7 now.

[motheatenscarf]

1, 7, 19 for talia!!! even if i don't go here i love to see you talk about her 💗 i am invested in Her

THANK YOU SO MUCH, I appreciate you fr, you are a true enabler and I love u for it <3

1. how is your wol about personal hygiene? are they on top of it? always perfumed and spotless, a little messy sometimes, or do they have to be reminded to groom?

OH YEAH, she's finicky about it. The nature of the job means she's never able to be spotless, but she'll always at least wash up even if she can't get a decent soak or scrub in. Dirt on it's own isn't so bad, so long as she doesn't smell, but god, if she starts sweating, it's UNBEARABLE. She's from Garlemald, which is like. Fantasy Russia?? It's dangerously cold there and she was adapted to that climate. Unfortunately, nowhere else is that cold (except Ishgard, which is why she lives there), so she's kind of always mildly uncomfortable and sweaty. A dry heat like a lot of the deserts she's been to is at least avoidable through a nice breeze or shade, but she's going to Fantasy South America for Dawntrail. She might die.

7. how does your wol feel about their hair? is it important to them? just kind of in the way? who cuts it? do they take good care of it or are they not particularly fussed about it?

Her hair is very important to her, she takes a lot of pride in it and tries to keep it looking shiny and likes to wear flowers in it when she dresses up. This world operates on fantasy logic, so it's not gonna get messed up while being kept loose and free in battle. If Zenos and Sephiroth get to have beautiful evil anime hot boy villain hair, then goddamit, so does she!

19. what would you say is your wol's greatest flaw? what part of their personality causes them the most problems?

Okay, I've already answered this question, but the nice thing about me is that I take the advice of "give your characters flaws" to heart, so there's still more to say! She has. Kind of a hard time filtering herself and for good or ill, you will always know where you stand with Talia. If she does not like you, she will not hesitate to let you know and provide an itemized list as to why. If she does like you and she has an issue with you, she will still tell you and if you do not fix that issue, she will hound you about it forever. Sometimes these issues are real, other times they are extremely petty and stupid. Zenos single handedly razed Garlemald to ashes, nearly killed her friends on several ocassions, one of which involved shunting her soul out of her body so he could puppet it around disguised as her to get those friends to lower their guards so he could get close enough to murder them. All that in mind, if you were to ask her what bothered her most about him, it would take a conscious effort of will for her not to blurt out that he was a self-trained amateur who held his scythe wrong and he had no business calling himself a Reaper.

[motheatenscarf]

what if i DID decide i wanted to ship my wol with emet.... what... what if i did that

[motheatenscarf]

MAMA'S WIDDLE BABIES ARE BACK IN HD

[motheatenscarf]

for the wol meme!

15. what would your wol be if they weren't the wol? what would they do as a job or career? would they be happier?

Oooh, I like this one. There are a few possible answers to that.

Talia was raised from a young age with the expectation of pursuing a military career, so the idea of fight, fight, fighting for others is deeply ingrained into her psyche. She was drawn to adventuring after fleeing Garlemald for a reason, but man did she love it when she picked up a fishing pole and got to crafting little trinkets in goldsmithing. She might have settled down in Ul'dah anyway after getting there to join the Gladiators just to set up shop as a jeweler, and finding Drusilla and the other expatriates would have made it feel more like a home. I think in that case, she still would have trained as a reaper, and wouldn't be able to resist picking her scythe up to protect people and stick her nose into trouble, but it would be on a much smaller scale.

There's also the possibility for a Darkest Timeline, where she doesn't get her rude wakeup call to shake her of the propaganda and flee Garlemald. I don't know if Hydaelyn would still call out to her, but she'd probably ignore it and keep quiet about it even if she did. Best case scenario, she dies in combat somewhere or is executed as a traitor for refusing to follow some order at some time that was beyond the pale if she was ever shipped too far away from home. If she managed not to wash out, though, there's the very real possibility the Emperor would have caught wind of her, and with her brain full of propaganda and her heart full of loyalty despite her doubts, she would have been primed for that pitch to join the Ascians' cause. She'd probably have joined under the same naive line of thinking that kept her in Garlemald, that she could mitigate the damage done if she just worked with them, believing sincerely that the goal was a better world for everyone.

[motheatenscarf]

Hooo boy. I know the WoL is supposed to be mentoring Wuk Lamat, but

the girl is just... SPEEDRUNNING the parallels at this point.

and then this happened

[motheatenscarf]

CRITICAL update, alpaca snoot is THE perfect height for Talia's 6'2" ass to do the /pet emote

[motheatenscarf]

Okay, Talia didn't get hit as bad as I thought she would, but it's still a little disappointing. She's lost a lot of those sharp lines and isn't as intense looking. No more stark eyeliner, no more deep eyeshadow, no more pointed eyebrows, no more jagged scar, no more angles or edges or anything that makes her look scream Hot Anime Villain, but... still looks like quintessential Talia, just smoothed over in that very generic modern cartoony 3D look.

Needless to say, I'm not a huge fan of the graphics update, but I acknowledge that for people who aren't fighting against the character creator to make an anime villain, this will be a godsend to babying up the faces of your adorable catgirls and bunny boys. I'm happy for those people. Kinda disappointed for myself, but not, like. Throw the game away forever disappointed just. Hrm. This will take getting used to and I'm not immediately in love with it the way I was with her original look.

I did have to change her mouth because the one she had got REALLY smoothed over, and moved her beauty mark from her mouth to her eye, just to draw more attention to the eyes which lost a LOT of character with those weak, light eyebrows. Honestly, if it would just let me make the eyebrows a different color than the rest of her hair so I could make ONLY the eyebrows one shade darker, I'd be thrilled. Let me give her her glower so she looks pissed even when she smile.

[motheatenscarf]

6, 11, 19 and 20 for the wol ask meme!

thank u for the ask!!

6. how does your wol feel about romance? are they a hopeless romantic, waiting for The One, or are they more casual? do they believe in soulmates?

Despite her cynicism, Talia is at heart a capital R romantic in the sense that she is a very passionate person who goes tear assing off on whatever cause or purpose or goal she ascribes for herself, and that includes people she gets involved with, romantically or otherwise. She hates in extremes, she loves in extremes, it is either soul crushing devotion or nothing. Casual does not exist in her vocabulary, she is intense. There's a reason she's guarded, once she cares, it's painful, even if it's a positive emotion. I could get into specifics but that is, honestly, a post unto itself.

11. where was your wol during the last calamity? how did it make them feel? did it change their life, and if yes, for better or for worse?

She was in Garlemald at the time, ramping up her involvement with the Populares. Project Meteor was obviously a top government secret, but once the fucking moon started falling out of the sky, I don't think the state was quiet about taking credit for it and explaining the reason as being a drastic but last ditch effort to rid the world of the primal threat. Talia and her sister were both participating in protests and petitioning the government to maybe, idk, not drop a fucking moon on a continent of innocent civilians who were only going to grow desperate enough to summon MORE primals to try and stop it. Her sister wound up getting killed just for speaking up, Talia was deemed a threat and was wanted by the state, and that was what made her finally realize that everything she'd ever been told about her home was a lie. She's not sure if it's better or worse now, but even if it's lonely, at least it's honest.

19. what would you say is your wol's greatest flaw? what part of their personality causes them the most problems?

Girl, reflect on your guilt complex and examine your trauma. Okay, good, now stop lashing out and holding grudges and chasing your death as the only means you have of making amends.

20. what is your wol's best quality? what's the thing that they do that really gets stuff done or makes people like them? hard mode: their own perception vs. a friend or partner's perception.

Despite everything she's been through, nothing has been enough to calcify that big, dumb, soft heart full of love and idealism. Unfortunately, no matter what else she's shed about her old self image, she still firmly believes that the best she can offer to anyone is to be a weapon for them. (Hence why she's so guarded and choosy about who she trusts; her loyalty is a powerful thing, as seen in the first question here, and she is... The World's Best Murderer, and given her history, has proven she maybe doesn't have the best judgment in who she pledges that loyalty to.) But where she sees herself in that Dark Knight mantra of Serve, Save, Slay, Slave, I think most people just see how earnest, sincere, and nurturing she can be.

[motheatenscarf]

God we are a barely over a fucking week out from Dawntrail but all I want to holler about is my fuckin dumb accidental parallels that I made through making my WoL a Garlean defector and why YEAH, I KNOW, everyone ships their fuckin WoL with Emet-Selch, I KNOW, everyone knows the reasons why everyone ships it, but lemme scream about it anyway because I'm a big dumb idiot.

I've mentioned before that Talia was an ex-Garlean soldier who defected over having her faith in Garlemald and its false promises shattered. She grew up in the heart of the empire in a relatively well-off and marginally respected military family, tenuously upper class. She was protected from seeing a lot of the worst aspects of it and had a similar world-view to Gaius' where she actually believed in the supposed meritocracy and the initial goal of ridding the world of false gods to free the people from being enslaved to them. She missed the memo where the cruelty and the oppression and the caste system of exploitation were the point of a fascist empire, not an accidental byproduct of rapid expansion. She was involved with the Populares who wanted to fix the empire without tearing it down and her naivete got her twin sister killed. She vowed never to be a soldier again after that and fled the empire to become a wandering adventurer, helping people to try and atone for how wrong she'd been about everything and maybe seeking her death in doing so.

Cue the whole ARR storyline and she's given the chance to live out that idealism she had of ridding the world of Primals and risking her wretched life in the process- Win-win! But she has to hide who/what she is from these people, so she doesn't really connect with them, and they're certainly eager to send her into danger carelessly, risking her life on increasingly more petty conflicts when she is the ONLY PERSON who can kill primals, but fine, she'll do it. And then they start militarizing. And she starts getting that sinking feeling like it's all gonna turn out like Garlemald did, rapidly expanding with a grand ambition that'll only sour and turn to poison that drowns the whole world, and she promised on her sister's grave she would never be a soldier again. So she maybe projects some criticisms onto Minfilia similarly to how she projects onto Hydalen what she can't say to her own mother, since, y'know, Minfilia's right there to yell at while the Emperor is dead in the ground on the other side of the world.

Except that he isn't. So, 2 expansions happen and she becomes a Dark Knight and a Reaper to deal with her grief and rage respectively in losing the Scions (twice) and her sense of self as she becomes more fixated on annihilating Garlemald off the fucking map (one finger on the monkey's pawl curls down). Then Shadowbringers happens, and Talia is an ex-Garlean Dark Knight who walked out of Emet's newest empire because the universe keeps playing the same joke on him over and over apparently.

I did not mean for this to happen, it just happened, and I lost my fucking mind at the reveal that Azem was a defector from the Convocation and then literally had to take a walk to calm down at the reveal that yes, Emet was a Dark Knight. He probably founded the fucking discipline. And hey, Fray sure does take an "I only berate you because I want you to be safe and take care of yourself," attitude, and has those gold eyes, and hey, we know that Dark Knights are really rare, maybe this is the same stone that Emet made some ten thousand years ago that holds an echo of why he took up the blade in the first place. COOL.

Anyway, I dismissed the impulse to EmetWol at the time because like, yes, it's tragically compelling, but at the time didn't think Emet would stoop to settling for a shard and was still trying to decide how Talia would feel about everything that was happening. Decided she's a lot of things, but if she learned anything from Garlemald, it's how to admit when she's wrong. For all that she hated Solus zos Galvus, that is one of many facets to him, and the unbearable burden of Emet Selch was something that... kinda resonated with her. Learning more about the ancients, she understood why he did what he did. It was unconscionable and unforgivable, and she still didn't trust him because fool me once, but she didn't have it in her to hate him anymore.

During the Heavensward/Stormblood era, she'd kinda lost sight of herself when all the Scions were taken away. She hadn't been close with most of them to this point, but thought of Alphinaud and Alisaie as the children she'd never have. Finding Alphinaud's empty body left her with a thin, frail thread of sanity that she only clung onto for Alisaie's sake, and then Alisaie was taken right in front of her very eyes, powerless to save her, just like her sister, and Talia kinda lost it. Threw herself into the Ghimlt Dark with the plan to raze a path from Ala Mhigo to Garlemald, no room for survivors, no room for rubble, just blood and cinders, or die trying. All because she was alone, all because the people she loved had been taken from her. So yeah. She... unfortunately understood that better than she wanted to. Even without being tempered and

Tried to think about what a Talia who wasn't a silent protagonist would say to him and how they'd get along. Wasn't sure how Emet would react to a WoL who gives as good as they get in the "Condescending Sarcastic Supervillain" running commentary. Like, he barely seems to tolerate these people as is and has no patience for their questions, no way he's gonna put up with a WoL who will also complain about his bad attitude and make fun of his dumb hair and ask pointed questions about how poorly Garlemald is run and ask if that was his idiot plan, even if they're mostly joking.

AND THEN I GOT TO ENDWALKER. And like. Subject A.) Unburdened Ancient Emet Selch, he's still just. Like That.

Turns out him being exasperated and barely tolerating people is just his personality. That's him showing affection because if he didn't want to be around these people, he'd just leave. He just has to complain at all times or he'll die, that's completely understandable.

And then Subject B.) Hythlodaeus, beautiful ray of sunshine to everyone else but professional Emet wrangler who knows exactly how to give as good as the man dishes out and oh, hey, maybe that's actually why Hades likes him. Maybe it's reassuring to him when people aren't put off by what a miserable grouch he is and kvetch back at him and with him about everything. Waldorf needs his Statler and all that. Maybe it would actually be weirdly comforting to just have somebody to riff off of and actually, her beef with Solus' actions is refreshing because for once it's an incarnation whose issue isn't really about Hades or Emet-Selch. And maybe with the looming threat of her Death, Doom, Gonna Die, all throughout SHB, it's kind of a relief for there to be at least ONE person with whom she shares any kind of cultural touchstone or framework, even if they're both contemptuous of Garlemald and Garleans as a whole.

... oh no!

And then that percolated for like 4 months fretting over like, does this interpretation of the character fit in with canon, is this too self indulgent, how much am I gonna embrace the tragedy of it, there are so many ways to interpret Emet Selch

Cuz the last thing I want is for The Loud Idiot in any lit class to come to my inbox and tell me I missed the point because buh-buh, the text has one rigid interpretation and it's Strictly Mine, that's how art works, durr

and then I realized that imaginary idiot was basically the only thing holding me back, so. WHY NOT! Yes, it's embarrassing and stupid, but so is everything, fuck it, I don't care, WoLEmet be upon ye, more thoughts to follow in the days to come, i'm writing this on break from my D&D game

[motheatenscarf]

DEVASTATED to realize that Talia's long hair clipped thru Clive's outfit, but I really really REALLY wanted it for her, so she pulled an Estinien and went to Jandelaine to pay 2,000 gil for a scrunchie

[motheatenscarf]

Okay because of the Hot Anime Villain description of Tallia I gotta ask - is there a specific mangaka/anime style you picture her in?

I mean... kinda? Her primary visual inspiration was already Sephiroth, so like. Final Fantasy IS the franchise for her, but the character creator really prioritizes and rewards the heroic look more in humans; big eyes, round features, smooth contours. Whereas I'm like, if my girl doesn't look like Yoshitaka Amano himself blasted Morticia Adams with a bishonen ray, I've failed.

[motheatenscarf]

There is a fun template making the rounds and I decided I also want to play. I think most of these are self explanatory at a glance, but I'll elaborate a bit more for anyone curious/interested.

Okay, I lied, it was not a bit more, it wound up being a LOT more. Brevity is the soul of wit and I am a blathering fool.

-> Krile. She's a work friend. They get along well enough but don't ever really hang out beyond maybe getting lunch together sometimes. She's capable and reliable, but there's not a whole lot they have in common and they haven't even gotten to trauma bond yet. Dawntrail will probably change that.

-> Minfilia. Oh boy, is this a complicated relationship. They got along so well at first. Talia was terrified of this Echo and Blessing and had no one to talk to about it for years, and Minfilia was kind and patient with all of her questions. They confided in each other and supported one another in having this bizarre path in life that they didn't choose. But Minfilia the friend and Minfilia the leader were two different people. The more time Talia spent with the Scions, the more she started to question Minfilia's decisions. Every call she made seemed wrong. It wasn't Minfilia's fault she hadn't been prepared for this role that was thrust on her when Luisoix died, but Talia pinned the blame on her for everything that followed. Watching the Scions militarize under bad leadership reminded her of Garlemald. It seemed inevitable that they would be misused and she would have her faith and devotion broken again and again. She had one foot out the door by the Bloody Banquet, and then Minfilia chose to stay behind. Talia was still angry at Hydaelyn for taking away the only gift that made her useful and giving her the silent treatment without ever telling her why, but her was the big blue rock herself telling Minfilia to die without explanation as to why, and Minfilia was blindly obeying. It spit on the sacrifices her people had just made. Talia blew up at her before storming out of the sewers. She said some cruel, unforgivable things, just to be hurtful because she was hurt. She regretted them the moment she was in the carriage escaping to safety, but never got the chance to apologize. They weren't friends anymore when Minfilia died. It's something that haunts her to this day.

-> Tataru. A very sweet and uncomplicated friendship! They grew closer as Tataru shared her fears of not being able to do enough to protect the Scions, and then became friendlier and more open around each in Heavensward when it was just the two of them and Alphinaud. They look out for each other in more social matters, and Tataru is one of the few people Talia feels safe enough to be stupid around and is among her top choices when looking for someone to spend downtime with.

-> Thancred. The brother she never had. Few other people look out for her the way Thancred does. He's probably the person who is most interested in not just her physical safety, but her emotional well-being. He's vigilant to people taking advantage of her, which I'd like to believe is because he sees how hard she beats herself up over past mistakes and how she believes atonement must be paid in her own blood. It's a self destructive impulse he's familiar with, and one he's reluctant to open up about, but when he finally does, they're closer for it. They're also able to give each other just enough well meaning shit without pushing past each other's boundaries, which is the ideal sibling dynamic tbh. The only point of contention they've ever had was over how he treated Ryne, but both of them were just projecting their issues about Minfilia onto her, albeit in opposite directions.

-> Estinien. The brother she never wanted. Alphinaud came home with a dirty stray cat that was hissing and spitting and asked "Can we keep him?" and Talia said, "How about this other, better cat who isn't allergic to sentiment and doesn't belittle you?" And Alphinaud said, "Ysayle's nice, but this one's good, I can tell." And then Talia was stuck with Estinien forever. She started to come around on him before he got turned into Nidhogg's scooter, appreciating how reflective and intuitive he was deep down. She's very glad that Alphinaud reminded her of her own values that had been eroded by cynicism and told her they had to save Estinien. Because yeah, he was right all along. Estinien did turn out to be good. Even if people suck today, you never know what they can be tomorrow. He's one of the few people she feels good about having saved because it was an instance where she didn't just stop a threat by being the champion of murder. Estinien was proof that change is possible and that sometimes, believing in that is worth the risk. So he means a lot to her not just as a person who's reliable, who's been through hell and back with her, who's grown so much and become one of the most introspective and insightful people she knows, but as a sort of proof of concept of the ethos she wants to live by.

-> Lyse. God, she loves Lyse so much. Having her around felt like having a sister again. I almost put the green mark up there, but I don't think Lyse reciprocates the feeling. Her surrogate sister was Moenbryda, a loss over which she opened up to and leaned on Talia in a way no one had trusted her with until that point. People asked her to run dangerous errands, sure, but Lyse trusted her with real, genuine, vulnerability and it was the fist time Talia felt like the Scions were more than just coworkers. Throughout Stormblood, Talia finally had someone who was on her level. The Scions are mostly Archons, all far more intelligent, well educated, and capable than she is. Lyse was just a girl who missed her sister and could hit things good and wanted to make a difference, just like Talia. More than that, she was fun. Her idealism and sincerity were infectious. And then Lyse left. She had ideas and dreams and aspirations and wanted to make them real. It was a worthy, understandable desire, but Talia was gutted by her choice even if she supported it. She loves getting to visit her and catch up, but she wishes she'd stayed.

-> Y'shtola. Mean goth girls with emotional walls who love to roast people, yes, they do bond over this. Beyond that, though, there's no one whose opinion Talia respects more than Y'shtola's. Full stop. She is the most capable, most reliable, and most honest person she knows. It's comforting to know that Y'shtola will hold everyone to the same standards she holds herself, even if it's a little intimidating how high those standards are and how easily she seems to meet them. And Y'shtola looks out for her just as much as Thancred does, albeit less tactfully. She was the only person who respected her enough to tell her the honest truth about the Light poisoning. Given her history, Talia always prefer a harsh truth over a comforting lie. But sometimes that harshness makes it hard for her to let herself open up around Y'shtola. Her competence is a double edged sword that hides her vulnerability, which is the measuring stick of intimacy. Y'shtola's so capable, Talia frequently doubts that there's anything she can offer her besides a good swordarm. Her affection is something Talia's had to learn to interpret, and something Y'shtola self-admittedly struggles to convey, but they're both important to each other and they're working on it.

-> Urianger. He was the Scion she took the longest to warm up to, due largely to his own self imposed isolation after Moenbryda's death and his continued deceptions in Heavensward and Shadowbringers. She thought he was pragmatic and useful, but cold. That opinion changed when she saw patient and gentle he was not just with the twins, but with kids in general. There was a warmth there she hadn't thought he was capable of and it helped make his lies easier to bear. When he broke down and confessed to his deceptions and expressed his remorse, his shame, she just... didn't have it in her anymore to hold that grudge. She'd been through enough of that with Minfilia and Emet-Selch. By Endwalker, she was a raw nerve on her last legs, and Urianger was as gentle and patient with her as he was with the kids they bonded over. When he finally, after years, opened up to her even a little bit about Moenbryda and his difficulties making connections, she felt safe enough to let him in and to be there for him. It took a while to get there, but they are, genuinely, very close, and she's asked him to help her with one of her biggest insecurities; learning magic, specifically healing.

-> G'raha Tia. There are few easy dynamics among the Scions, huh? G'raha is one of the people she admires most, but also someone who has left her a goddamn husk of a person composed only of tears and anxiety. First off, he is single handedly responsible for the second worst mental breakdown she's ever had, second only to the time her actual twin sister died. She was ready to kill him on the spot upon arriving in The First if he did not produce Alisaie and Alphinaud right then and there. It drove her insane how secretive he was while acting like some old friend. Finally seeing the scale of devastation he was fighting against with everything in his power, she started coming around. There was still anger but once she figured out who he was, all she could really do was pity him. He'd been so quick to throw his life away, appointing himself as the guardian of Allag's mistakes, protecting the world from the horrors of the tower, only to become a symbol that everyone pinned their hopes on. That felt familiar. And then when she realized that it was all for her, and that he intended to die to save her, all she could think about was losing Haurchefant. She maybe wrapped up a lot of that unresolved trauma and her issues of self worth in saving him. My favorite screenshot I ever took in this game is still this accidental moment of poetic cinema where she's holding his soul in her hands against her heart, enveloped by the memory of Haurchefant in the House Fortemps ring she never takes off.

That's it! That's their relationship! Got it in one! He is so compassionate and thoughtful and by his own merit, she cares for him deeply, but there is a LOT of baggage she's wrapped up around him. He's just as much a symbol to her as she is to him, someone she was finally, finally able to save who held this impossible idea of her in his mind's eye (Haurchefant, Emet-Selch). She cares for him very deeply and yeah, isn't oblivious to his... pretty obvious romantic idolization of her, but. Good lord. There are a lot of very difficult conversations they need to have in unpacking their baggage and the issues they keep projecting onto each other before they can even begin to discuss G'raha's crush and what to do about it. Until then, she just... kinda lets it be the elephant in the room and tries not to think about it.

-> Ryne. Talia was determined to be as kind to and supportive of Ryne as she wished she had been to Minfilia. When she saw how hard Thancred was on her, she stepped in to provide unwavering love and support, became her guide on living with the Blessing of Light that Minfilia had once been to her. She also maybe saw some of her younger self in this girl that she desperately wanted to nurture, as she wished someone had done for her. Talia's not quite a mother-figure to her,more of an aunt who knows what an asshole Thancred can be when he puts his mind to it and thus knows how to cheer Ryne up to console her through it. On her own merit, Talia thinks Ryne is one of the bravest, kindest, and most thoughtful young women she's ever known. She's so proud of the person she's becoming and is amazed by her resilience.

-> Alisaie. The only reason Alisaie is second to Y'shtola on Talia's list of people she respects is because Alisaie is still a child, and it would look really bad if her top advisor was 16. When it comes to knowing what's right though, Alisaie is always on mark. She cares so much about everyone all the time that the only way she can express it is rage at the universe for not being fair to those same people and then fixing it through the raw force of power that is Teenage Girl With A Chip On Her Shoulder. Alisaie is the most incredible person Talia knows and there is no one she is more proud to have earned the love and respect of, or whose development into her true self she is more proud to bear witness to. Alisaie's strength is also exactly why Talia has insisted on mothering her despite the girl's obvious desire for independence; because she'll never ask for that help when she needs it most.

-> Alphinaud. If Estinien is the proof of concept of the ethos she wants to live by, Alphinaud is the one who penned that ethos and embodies it on a daily basis. There is no one she loves more than this boy, she might try to mother Alisaie, but Alphinaud just is her son. He is the primary reason she held to hope in the gauntlet of despair that is Endwalker. Alphinaud has grown as much as she has, if not more, and they've gone through that growth together. Talia was a jaded malcontent when they first met, and Alphinaud, when he wasn't parading around like the Widdlest Dictator, was smug, condescending, and insufferable. And then the universe slapped him in the face with a humble pie and he lost faith in everything, himself most of all. Seeing him like that, she realized... oh fuck. Right. He's a child. And she'd been projecting her contempt at her own past naivete about Garlemald onto him. And maybe that wasn't fair. Maybe that was the same awful thing she'd done to Minfilia. So instead of taking him to task, she just hugged him and told him it was going to be okay. He'd messed up. He'd messed up real bad and people had died because he didn't realize how ugly the world was, but wanting to believe that better things were possible wasn't the mistake there. She knew exactly what that felt like and exactly what he needed from her that she never got from anyone, not even herself; forgiveness. She became very protective of him after that, desperate to preserve whatever innocence and hope he had left. And at the darkest point of the Dragonsong war, it paid off. Alphinaud realized that he'd internalized the wrong message about his grandfather's death; it isn't about what we're willing to sacrifice for some greater good, it's about what we want to save. It was something so obvious that she'd forgotten after she fell so hard from losing her faith in anything bigger than her own bloodied hands. He made her want to try to have hope again. By choosing to save Estinien, that boy saved her too, and the fucking world, and all creation. All by being his sweet, thoughtful, brave little self. She is stupid proud of him and loves him so much. She's his mom now. And I think given how much he relies on the WoL, how much more receptive he is than Alisaie to their concern for him and how he seeks them out for advice and comfort, the feeling's mutual.

[motheatenscarf]

8, 18 from the pre dt questions?

Thank u!!

8. how good is your wol at taking care of their armor/clothes? do they mend them themself? pay to gave it fixed? just change it when it gets old?

Not great, tbh, she's of the "let someone else do the boring parts" mentality and usually paid to have things fixed. That was getting expensive, though, even as she tried to get better about maintenance, so she started learning a few new crafts just to save money for more important things. Important things such as;

18. how good is your wol with money? do they save up? scrounge around? spend it with wild abandon?

BAD. She's so bad with money! Spends it the minute it's in her hands, and mostly on luxury goods and presents, treating herself and others. She fully believes one more little treat will fix her. It hasn't yet, but surely once she finds the right trinket or little cafe or gorgeous outfit, she'll be fixed! No savings, no point, probably gonna die young anyway, may as well enjoy it while she can.

[motheatenscarf]

while the GRIND of getting Red Mage to 90 was miserable, it was definitely worth it to get some more Aymeric and get the chance to be part of his support network again

i do, however, wish in retrospect that i had maybe... insisted a little less on employing whimsy to get me through that grind

and glamoured a slightly more dignified weapon onto my SERIOUS, EDGY DRK MAIN WoL instead

idk, something about the joyous, glowing, floating moogle in the background takes away from the gravitas of Aymeric facing down his own doubt and despair but i can't put my finger on why 🤔

[motheatenscarf]

Zenos getting named viator and traitor to the Empire just as Talia is exonerated and welcomed as Garlemald's prodigal savior sure is

something

I'm sure she'll be normal about this and won't have any nightmares about becoming Zenos, especially not after he literally tried to steal her body and walk around in her skin to murder everything she loved.