#Everytime someone gets close to me I get scared bc everyone tends to leave me when I stop being useful to them
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#I haven't ranted in so long here and I think I was above this but#I just feel so frustrated and heartbroken#Everytime someone gets close to me I get scared bc everyone tends to leave me when I stop being useful to them#And every time they assure me that it won't happen again#And it always happens#I do a lot to help everyone feel loved and accepted#I just want for someone to return the favor once#Just... Once#I know it's super selfish of me to ask something like that#But I'm so tired and sad about always feeling left behind#Why am I always the second option#Is there truly something so wrong with me?#Am I really that terrible of a person to be abandoned and discarded?#I do my best... I really do#I don't think I'm really that terrible but someone please come out and say it to my face so I can do something about it#I feel so exhausted and alone#I've been keeping this feeling inside me for so long but every time I try to talk with someone I get diminished or outright ignored#Holy hell am I mad today#I've had enough#I feel like I'm gonna combust#I'm really not that undeserving of love#I'm tired of always hearing how much I matter to people just to be left alone when I make mistakes#I just want someone to mean what they say once
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