#FUCK SINOWS FUCK

[dark-falz]

I've waited over 20 years for my own God/Battle unit and today not 1 but 2! dropped for me I just ;~;

[kafkasmelomania]

Music rec roundup 3/22/21-3/28/21

I’m going to start recapping what I’ve recommended, from albums to articles to videos, for the past week so that it’s all in a quick list for anyone who wants recommendations for music but doesn’t want to scroll all the way back through my blog. I’ll also highlight my favorite album out of the bunch in case you don’t want to listen to all of it but can’t decide what to focus on. Enjoy!

Albums:

The End Is The Beginning by Mirror of Haze

Primary genre: post punk

Every Time We Fall by The Geeks

Primary genre: hardcore punk

Fuck Art by The Dirty Nil

Primary genre: alt rock

Zone by The Mall

Primary genre: post punk

Synth City by Shredder 1984

Primary genre: synth wave

House of Mirrors by Fake Shark

Primary genre: indie pop

To See the Next Part of the Dream by 파란노을 (Parannoul)

Primary genre: indie rock

Articles:

“How old, ambient Japanese music became a smash hit on YouTube” by Catherine Sinow for Ars Technica

Favorite album out of the above: To See the Next Part of the Dream by 파란노을 (Parannoul)

[antimagnanimiti]

sinow’s salty revenge -- friday the 13th game | sentence starters

content warnings: use of the word ‘bitch’, and other swears these prompts can be taken as direct dialogue, part of a description you’d use, or just as a prompt. feel free to change pronouns and input names as you see fit. taken from John Wolfe’s video (just short of 24 minutes long)

---------

“the gang’s all here.”

“this place is about to be poppin’.”

“hey, this [name] has found some gas!”

“i’m gonna check the barn.”

“let’s all go to the barn together!”

“there’s too many people to take in one car, anyway.”

“at least i found something, y’know?”

“is everyone still alive? good.”

“how are we not dead yet?”

“there’s nothing in this house, i’ve already looked.”

“oh my god, [name], you ruined it.”

“i hope i fucking get garrotted for what i just said.”

“did you guys find anything in that-- that house? nothing?”

“i don’t know why you guys are following me, i don’t have a map, i’m kinda just-- i’m kinda just running.”

“this is a really bad idea.”

“wow, you guys are taking this really far.”

“safety in numbers, right?”

“the slowest one will die first.”

“[name], we should stick together. as the non-jennies.”

“we are the noisiest group ever!”

“we are a writhing ball of noise, how can he not know where we are?”

“oh my god, we can leave!”

“i’m smart as fuck!”

“c’mon, girl, you deserve a break. you’re doing all this repairing, all this dying, i-i-- i wanna help you out.”

“oh, careful now. breaking character to tell me to be careful now.”

“yo, i was getting fucked up by them on my lonesome over there.”

“by the way, the killer’s here.”

“why is everyone following me? i don’t have a map!”

“alright, so, the cops have been called.”

“good job, biiitch. let’s get in the car, biiitch.”

“i don’t know why we came here!”

“which one will be the first to fall-- oh, that one.”

“let’s all go the same way! this’ll work great!”

“how intelligent are you?”

“hold on, i dropped the wrong thing, shit.”

“oh no, we wasted all of our things. okay.”

“is anyone in the car?”

“oh bitch, you didn’t.”

“no-one’s in the car!”

“get in the car get in the car get in the car!”

“do we have any room?”

“poor [name].”

“ah, it’s too late.”

“i can’t believe i left [name]. i feel so bad. i feel so bad -- what was i supposed to do?”

“he’s probably just ranting to his chat right now.”

“they’re being really hostile to me in [name]’s chat.”

“i curse the day that you arrived on this planet.”

“hey, [name], you got away, good job.”

“the disrespect! the betrayal!”

“every bitch for herself, yeah?”

“i can’t believe you guys didn’t let me in the car. i had a giant axe and i was trying to kill you, i mean...”

“oh wow, i can’t win, okay, nevermind.”

“(sighs) i hope i enjoy this.”

“so, [name], we’re friends, right?”

“i just kinda locked you out.”

“i feel like we should offer ourselves up as sacrifices for [name], just to soothe his rage.”

“unfortunately, my rules is that the first people i find, i leave a present, and i let them go on their merry way, so you guys are getting a present.”

“you like presents? it’s small, sharp, and pointy.”

“hi [name]. don’t come over here. it’s very fun, but don’t do it.”

“that was pretty good though. you liked that? i scared you.”

“oh son-of-a-biscuit, man.”

“hey, i got one of these neat walkie-talkie things, now.”

“i think he went looking for you.”

“sounds like a couple of bitches!”

“once a bitch, always a bitch!”

“[name]’s mad. i don’t think i’ve heard him say ‘bitch’ this many times.”

“ohhhh, you’re the worst one, [name].”

“come back here. c’mon.”

“you must think i’m so fucking dumb. you must think i’m so dumb. you must think i’m the dumbest boy.”

“what’s going on over there?”

“i cannot believe you right now.”

“[name], you need to die, you’re the fucking public enemy number one.”

“this bitch has lost her mind.”

“(through laughter) i’ve just stunned [name] like three times.”

“i hate you, you’re the worst boy!”

“alright, kill me, [name], kill me.”

“i want a special death for you. special boy gets special death.”

“i got some blue shoes on, just like you do, girl.”

“fuck, i don’t know how to drive a boat.”

“save me, bitch, save me!”

“i can’t believe i’m getting away with this. i can’t believe it.”

“i can’t believe i’m getting away with this. i can’t believe it. and yes, me calling out the boat was... was part of the strategy.”

“[name], i curse the fucking day you were born!”

“just give me another four minutes.”

“you’re the last one to die. get over here.”

“oh no, you have rage.”

“i’m too angry for doors!”

“he’ll never suspect this.”

“where d’you think he is? where’d he go?”

“it’s a watery grave for you, my friend.”

“i totally deserved that.”

“i was too angry not to get a wipe there.”

“[name], don’t bring up the car.”

[gab-communi-tea]

Anyone remember when Gab called Nolan North's 16 year old son "So fucking hot"? She was streaming with Sinow and talking (bragging) about being invited to Nolan North's house in LA. Imagine being invited to someone's home then saying how hot their underage child is.

🍵🍵🍵

[nauseateddrive]

MYSTERY LIGHT by Catherine Sinow

Something terrible happened one night while Cassie and I were parked on a cliff in Los Feliz. It started off innocently enough; we were looking over a valley of twinkling homes in her 2005 Mercedes, her mom’s old car, listening to Iceage, a band we both love. A Yankee Candle air freshener hung from the mirror, which might have been ironic, which I loved because doing things ironically is so her. The car always made me feel cozy with its vintage leather smell and I imagined that I’d drive something similar if I ever upgraded my tattered old Subaru.

Cassie and I often enjoyed going to Griffith Observatory, sometimes combining it with a trip to Permanent Records, our favorite record shop. We would always park on cliffs and chat afterwards; it had totally become Our Thing. I always enjoyed being with her; just the way she looked at me with her blue-green eyes and laughed at my jokes like she was in a little fit. I really found her kind of flawless, even her weird aspects, like how she had a few too many pictures of her with her grandpa on Facebook. 

We’d been hanging out less though since she got her boyfriend, this tall dude named Owen, about six months ago. They met because our good friend Jack is in a band with him. Owen plays guitar, drums, and keyboards, and his voice is pretty smooth, not going to lie. I don’t even understand how one person is so good at so many instruments. But whenever that gets me down I remind myself that he honestly has kind of shit taste in music. I mean, he’s a little too into Tame Impala and Beach House, and everyone knows those bands are cliché and unoriginal. He also has bleached hair and plays a Telecaster. Kind of a poser music boy thing—my style’s a lot more original (I wear mostly beige tones) but also classic (Converse and natural hair color). And I mean I’m pretty tall, too, 6’1” in fact, but this dude is TALL. Like, so tall that other people force him to be on basketball teams. Anyway I was so grateful to have Cassie as a friend, even though I really wished I had gone for her before Owen got to her. She’d been spending less time with me due to him and I can respect that even though it makes me kind of upset.

The Iceage album ended and Cassie switched the music to Ava Luna, a great band we got into together after seeing them play live at Origami Vinyl. Whenever I listen to them I think of her.

“I’m always better at cleaning my room while drunk! I just get the irresistible urge to clean!” she said. I loved little quirky comments like these. We always had great conversations when alone.

“Really!” I said. “I’m better at almost nothing while drunk. I’m better at like, talking about my embarrassing moments from 6th grade while drunk.” She laughed with her cute little scrunched-up-nose giggle. I kind of hoped she’d ask further—I’d been getting pretty good at telling this story about how I was the flag monitor and I left the flag up over the entire two-week winter break. She didn’t ask, unfortunately, but like the sharp girl she is, found a hysterical thing to say instead.

“I’m better at getting the mail while drunk,” she said, giggling. See what I mean?

“I’m better at stowing away in an airplane wheel while drunk,” I said, which really got her going. It made me feel accomplished—an Oscar moment.

Afterward she started to open up to me about some issues she was having with Owen,so I listened attentively. It seemed like even though he always took her amazing places and got presents for her, he was missing a key ingredient—he had a hard time sitting down and really emotionally empathizing. And Cassie’s a really sensitive person, so I know that matters. I found my advice always ended up with the bottom line of “You can do better,” but deep down I wanted to help her talk out her issues and respect her decision to stay with Owen. It was her choice, after all, and I try to respect the choices that people make.

“Jake, look! What the fuck is that?” She pointed out the window. It was plain as day: a big flash of white light trailing through the air. It was completely silent, but it kept expanding in big circles.

“FUCK,” I said.

“What? What? Is that a plane? Is that not just a plane?”

This was bad and I knew it. “I’ve been watching some videos about this recently,” I exclaimed. “It’s a Christ damn nuclear missile. Look, it has that shape. I think the shape determines it.” Yes, I do like looking at Wikipedia articles about strange things such as nuclear missiles.

“Fuck, like, how long do we have to live?”

“I have no fucking idea,” I said, my heart pounding. “Minutes? Look, do you want to make out with me?” I felt the words tumble out of my mouth and a feeling of otherworldly liberation washed over me.

“Um—um—yeah I do! What if we fucking die! I’ve lived such a good life! I miss Owen! My mom was so sweet to me and I was a little brat to her. Fuck, it’s all flashing before my eyes. I can’t stop thinking about this road trip to Utah we took as kids and how my parents took this picture of us by this gigantic sandstone rock formation that was like, these two arches!” She made a perpendicular gesture with her hands. “I thought it was cool then but I think it would be even cooler now! ‘Cause I’m an adult! And it’s all ending! Will I ever get to be old?”

Tears seemed to dribble out of her eyes and she looked so infinitely sad that it felt profound, more profound than any work of literature I’ve ever read, probably. I wanted so badly to comfort her. Now, I need to let you know that I actually thought I was going to die at that moment. Well, not completely, but maybe like a 75% chance? I don’t remember, but I do remember thinking there was a pretty good chance that this was the end of the world.

We crawled into the back seat and started making out. It felt so, so good to plant my mouth on hers, tasting her rose lip balm, after having only stared (both in real life and on social media) for so long. I tore off my beanie and removed her rounded glasses, tossing them into the front seat since I knew she would never need them again, and let my hands meet her inhumanly smooth skin, her shoulder-length dark brown hair, her denim jacket, her modest but subtly curved body. We panted and slammed our clothed forms over each other like the shirts and pants were barriers to break through. My final fuck, I thought. Just do this and maybe everything will be so beautiful, so powerful, that the world won’t really end after all.

“I’m so scared,” she said as she took her jacket, then long-sleeved shirt off. “The world is actually ending.”

“Just make the most of our last moments!” I shouted. So we had sex in my backseat, me on top. I had only had sex once before, with this girl from Tinder, but it seemed like that one time was decent enough practice for the end of the world. I really felt during that sex that Cassie and I combined into a singular human, maybe not even a human, but a unified plane of energy. I savored every raw bit of emotion outwardly flowing from the pits of our stomachs combining with this incomprehensible fear, knowing that in minutes our entire lives and the entire world would be obliterated into nothing. All my middle school classmates, the toys I got for all my Christmases, every vinyl record I had taken the time and money to purchase was for nothing, all at the devastating hands of fate and the man’s technology careening out of control. All my life, all the life and history of the world spiraled into her and my passion I was driving forward. I cried out her name, and she cried out mine.

After we finished she propped her head on my chest and let the sterile, stony moonlight cast over her face. I wasn’t really thinking anything at all, mostly luxuriating in the afterglow. Then she suddenly jolted upward and I had an internal freak-out. She covered her chest with her denim jacket without putting it on and reached into the front seat for her faux leather backpack. My heart tightened. I saw a message from our friend Molly: “Hey are you free? We’re about to start AHS Hotel but we can wait for you” 

This was bad. This was really bad. I felt relieved the world wasn’t ending but that relief wasn’t that significant, probably because I didn’t fully believe that in the first place.

“I don’t think the world is actually ending,” she said, mumbling to herself out the window. “At all. Did I ever think that?” I looked out the other window; the mystery light was now nowhere to be seen. I decided to put on my clothes in the meantime. She eventually did too. We said nothing. And then:

“Just drive me home.”

She sat in the back seat and buckled herself in. I walked around to the front of the car and drove her just like an Uber, but in complete silence. I’ve actually always wanted to be an Uber driver; I think I’d be pretty good at it. I’d be one of those drivers that keeps bottled water and pretzel pouches in the cupholders.

I knew I was totally fucked. I honestly don’t think the sex was bad at all; it was actually pretty great. I found myself wondering if this would cause a rift between her and Owen, giving me a chance to slip in, but at the same time I knew that was unrealistic.

I woke up the next day and snapped some of my friends about the mysterious light. My friend Derek who’s a total news hound told me that it was a nuclear missile test—unarmed—by the government in Eastern California, sort of an empty threat in response to a North Korean missile. So, sort of the end of the world, but not really. I was almost right. I’m a pretty intuitive guy, but intuition can’t get you everywhere.

At the moment my entire friend group is trying to work their schedules around me not seeing Cassie, and I know they’re probably doing the same for her and Owen. I think they’re really good people by trying not to take sides. I haven’t heard from Cassie at all—maybe Owen isn’t allowing for it. I’m pretty sure I lost my best friend that night. It might not have been the actual end of the world, but a big part of my own has ruptured.

Catherine is an ambient music fanatic in the Pacific Northwest. She tweets at @ConceptualCamel

[clonelyboy]

sinow’s salty revenge | accepting | @traumatical

“i want a special death for you. special boy gets special death.” from jack WJKEDJDFADFA

---------

Awh c’mon. Teddy taps away at a panel, double-triple-quadruple-quintuple-checking the strength of security currently keeping him safe from Jack while Adelaide calculates the best way to get them out and leave Jack here. Preferably to die by starvation or some other shitty and boring death that he really does deserve.

But, God, he really does hate that Jack is so close up against the friggin’ glass. It’s durable beyond most others, and Alex said so, and the bunker is as deep as can be, but Teddy cannot recall if there’s a second exit.

“Thank you for thinking I’m special, because I really am,” Teddy answers in a voice that shakes, “but honestly, it shouldn’t be me you should be worried about. There’s-- there’s another one. Like me, sort of, but he’s-- he’s full-grown. Jonathan Kastle. Basically trying to be another you while, uh, shitting on your legacy.” He can’t help spitting venom on the last word, eyebrows coming together as he near-snarls. “Honestly, thought you’d get on his case first.”

And if there were, in some other universe, some merciful cosmic thing, Jack would kill Jonathan and Jonathan would kill Jack, in some overplayed scene of doubles and parallels and blah, blah, blah. Unfortunately, this is the one where Jack is threatening a ten-year-old boy because said ten-year-old boy called him Ugly John.

“I mean, he’s been saying way worse things. Calling you stupid.” A sentiment Teddy shares, but you know, trying to deflect, here.

(Then again, if Jonathan’s got anything under his control, Jack could take that over too. Hm. Fuck. Quite a pickle.)

[flauntpage]

As Expected, Philadelphia is Wild

WORLD FUCKING CHAMPIONS pic.twitter.com/7cByHuD7PX

— John Barchard (@JohnBarchard) February 5, 2018

WORLD F’ING CHAMPIONS pic.twitter.com/1wSKA2GPy1

— max (@MaxOnTwitter) February 5, 2018

Celebration by City Hall! #FlyEaglesFly @Eagles @BarstoolJordie @barstoolsports @SmittyBarstool #SuperBowl Champs!!! pic.twitter.com/Wysp15PoFJ

— [RAPH]AEL (@MyNameIsRaph) February 5, 2018

0% chance this kid makes it to morning pic.twitter.com/cX6TRNobFY

— Barstool Sports (@barstoolsports) February 5, 2018

Enjoy the reactions from the city. More of them begin after the jump:

@CrossingBroad subway pic.twitter.com/vRB5mlJhKa

— keith wakefield (@bigcollarbrand) February 5, 2018

Eagles fans on way to city center (

by @KevinCrowley21) pic.twitter.com/4MtPEuItdV

— Darren Rovell (@darrenrovell) February 5, 2018

KAT update: “I’ve never been so happy!” pic.twitter.com/3DzzatRMoH

— Sports Illustrated (@SInow) February 5, 2018

Mood pic.twitter.com/KCyxBCXS99

— John Barchard (@JohnBarchard) February 5, 2018

No one fears death anymore pic.twitter.com/o9TnClyn4r

— Barstool Sports (@barstoolsports) February 5, 2018

Philly’s just Cleveland without the river that catches on fire pic.twitter.com/v8AYKQ2piy

— Barstool Sports (@barstoolsports) February 5, 2018

Yes pic.twitter.com/NzvRxTvx1q

— Chris Jastrzembski (@CFJastrzembski) February 5, 2018

This kind of teamwork to get the kegs over the fences is why they call it the city of brotherly love pic.twitter.com/z6HDmv16XW

— Barstool Sports (@barstoolsports) February 5, 2018

Hope Jake Reiner told his mother he loved her before he left the house tonight pic.twitter.com/l2rf846Oro

— Barstool Sports (@barstoolsports) February 5, 2018

The Ritz canopy has collapsed pic.twitter.com/9LBolLtIPY

— Busted Coverage (@bustedcoverage) February 5, 2018

Broad Street right now pic.twitter.com/YdWlC1NFhV

— PhillyChitChat (@HughE_Dillon) February 5, 2018

City Hall. Philadelphia. pic.twitter.com/2pDXMPMIpo

— Ryan Beckler (@RyanBeckler) February 5, 2018

Broad and Spruce pic.twitter.com/dRFmmrcX1d

— Dave Isaac (@davegisaac) February 5, 2018

pic.twitter.com/JkMqxAoUH0

— Dennis (@GipperGrove) February 5, 2018

Party your asses off folks. pic.twitter.com/IoIQHMJvYF

— Chris Jastrzembski (@CFJastrzembski) February 5, 2018

SUPERBOWL CHAMPS BABY!!! pic.twitter.com/QqL72HGn9V

— Stanbone Williams (@simply_brendan) February 5, 2018

Whatever, the streets are going to be undriveable for a month or two anyways pic.twitter.com/zdL8UB6hXc

— Barstool Sports (@barstoolsports) February 5, 2018

People in Philly are out here hi-fiving cops on the street pic.twitter.com/xRdmyRQxhL

— Sports Illustrated (@SInow) February 5, 2018

*italian chef kiss* pic.twitter.com/GXR54zE9vb

— max (@MaxOnTwitter) February 5, 2018

Philly is lit. Super Bowl champions. #FlyEaglesFly pic.twitter.com/hjclhh5niD

— James Seltzer (@JamesSeltzer) February 5, 2018

South Broad is insane pic.twitter.com/hoHTee0V0A

— Dan Wing (@dwingReports) February 5, 2018

Also the real winner tonight is this guy who conquered a (police?) van, kept slipping but NEVER FELL OFF. #SuperBowl (WPVI) pic.twitter.com/iaDpHUAXJ4

— Patrick Torphy (@PatrickTorphy) February 5, 2018

Sweet fantasy … pic.twitter.com/6nH3ZG277E

— Safe Fekadu (@Eri_Barrister) February 5, 2018

This dude is playing the fight song on top of a trash can with a trombone on Main Street in Manayunk #FlyEaglesFly pic.twitter.com/LYGJsi72J6

— Andrew Salciunas (@asalciunas975) February 5, 2018

OMG I JUST WATCHED A MAN DIE pic.twitter.com/oZHBmDajJa

— max (@MaxOnTwitter) February 5, 2018

Eagles fans are taking “Fly Eagles Fly” a liiiiiiiittle too literally

pic.twitter.com/1y4Zt2Y9zG

— SB Nation (@SBNation) February 5, 2018

They ripped the dang steeet poles out of the ground pic.twitter.com/af6ccASHTA

— max (@MaxOnTwitter) February 5, 2018

PHILLY IS ON FIRE!!!!!! pic.twitter.com/BvNqDfQ99k

— SB Nation (@SBNation) February 5, 2018

Calm and peaceful with plenty of behaved fans. pic.twitter.com/glKMijEsaT

— Chris Jastrzembski (@CFJastrzembski) February 5, 2018

We have our first of many casualties of the night pic.twitter.com/8rFcTPK1IU

— Barstool Sports (@barstoolsports) February 5, 2018

Still going pic.twitter.com/dZYPrlzqSW

— max (@MaxOnTwitter) February 5, 2018

Pole vs Eagles fan. Advantage: Eagles fan. pic.twitter.com/b2Zbx38XyS

— Darren Rovell (@darrenrovell) February 5, 2018

Hang this in the art museum pic.twitter.com/pO0KlF3hjg

— max (@MaxOnTwitter) February 5, 2018

Happiest @PhillyPolice officer, Mark Lapenta, of the 22nd District, celebrating with fans at @TempleUniv pic.twitter.com/44Ia9F3gvR

— Robert Moran (@RobertMoran215) February 5, 2018

OF COURSE Philly celebrated the Eagles' win outside a Wawa

(

: giulia.sebring / Instagram) pic.twitter.com/an3wNtUPCU

— SB Nation (@SBNation) February 5, 2018

This. Is. Amazing.

Five stories up, some students at the Merriam Theater of the Arts just broke out some brass intruments and led Broad Street in the Eagles' fight song pic.twitter.com/PdksYCxNQR

— Sports Illustrated (@SInow) February 5, 2018

OMG A MAN JUST PROPOSED!!! pic.twitter.com/6cyMnifgh5

— max (@MaxOnTwitter) February 5, 2018

And one last note, this is happening.

Bud Light statement, after saying each Eagles fan, 21 and older, will be entitled for a free beer at bars along the parade route. pic.twitter.com/tjcKdyYZRb

— Darren Rovell (@darrenrovell) February 5, 2018

As Expected, Philadelphia is Wild published first on https://footballhighlightseurope.tumblr.com/

[amtushinfosolutionspage]

Your Monday Morning Roundup

I enjoy this very much.

Let’s hit it!

  But first, a word from our sponsors:

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  The roundup:

Klay Thompson.

There are Klay Thompson-to-the-Sixers rumors. They got started on a blog somewhere (not this one!), quickly become the topic du jour on 97.5, which led to #MikeyMissed having Klay Thompson’s father on Friday to talk about his son’s career. Yes, Klay Thompson’s father to weigh in on half-baked speculation about his son getting traded. Fuck me sideways.

Would Thomspon work on the Sixers? You bet. It would take their third pick, probably a pick next year, and either or at least Dario Saric, Robert Covington or Richaun Holmes. I’d do it in a second, because Klay Thompson, a 27-year-old all-world shooter and elite defender is exactly what the Sixers need. But he also has two years left on his deal with the Warriors, whom I would assume are in no hurry to dismantle arguably the greatest team of all-time. Certainly, in two and three years, it will be hard for the Warriors to keep him and Draymond Green, this after they will likely re-sign Steph Curry and Kevin Durant this year. Thompson will probably be the odd man out (if Draymond doesn’t flame out by doing something stupid). The Warriors, if they have any foresight, would at least consider trading Thompson before his contract is up so they can get some value and keep open their window of opportunity. But doing so now would be like Ruben Amaro trading Chase Utley in 2009. They simply don’t need to do it, even if they can get a HAUL for him. Why would they want to give up a potential dyanasty for the sake of prudence? This is such a Philly created thing it’s not even funny.

So, to recap: Should the Sixers do anything they can to get Klay Thompson? Yes. Is there a chance it happens this summer? No.

  Jeremy Maclin

The Chiefs cut Jeremy Maclin. Cue the Eagles talk. Maclin makes so much more sense on many other teams. Most notably, LeSean McCoy is campaigning for him to go to Buffalo. So is Tyrod Taylor. I get why the Eagles speculation is there, but he is not the guy they need right now. He would improve the team in the short-term, but they’re not contending next season, so having Maclin, in addition to Alshon Jeffery, Torrey Smith and Jordan Matthews, while it wouldn’t be overkill, would be the epitome of building from the outside-in with win-now talent on a non-win-now team that has many other holes. The Eagles have their receivers for next year– good ones who can potentially stick around. Maclin would be yet another reach into the past.

  Simmons & No. 3 to the Knicks for Porzingis and No. 8 — Would you do it?

Our #Sixers analysts give thier takeshttps://t.co/Q55GvoXmU7

— CSN Philly (@CSNPhilly) June 4, 2017

OH COME ON.

  Odubel Herrera bounced out of his funk with a few hits and this derranged bat flip this weekend:

welp http://pic.twitter.com/j9T8WVw3LA

— Nick Piccone (@nickpiccone) June 3, 2017

Swell. Herrera is hitting .234 with a .276 on-base percentage and he’s flipping bats and basically inviting pitchers to hit him for being a showboat:

“Of course, it worries me a little bit,” he said. “I don’t want to get drilled.

“But I’m not going to change the way I play. If I get hit, I’m just going to have to rub it.”

Last week, Curt Schilling told Mike Missanelli that the only thing worse than Philly fans being mad is when they’re indifferent. So I guess my ire toward Herrera could be viewed as an improvement for the 2017 Phils?

  DGB says he’s not getting a lot of opportunities at OTAs. CAN’T IMAGINE WHY.

  The Ryans are a gift:

Rob and Rex Ryan crushing Nashville @barstoolsports @BarstoolBigCat http://pic.twitter.com/AxktGa0Hn7

— Cooper Stefaniak (@CooperStef) June 4, 2017

  The Cavs' postgame court exit was interrupted by a fight between fans http://pic.twitter.com/BwrxtwFtnH

— Sports Illustrated (@SInow) June 5, 2017

Love J.R. Smith pushing LeBron away. #enforcer

  Good to see that LeBron has developed a thick skin:

NBA says LeBron will not be speaking at podium after game. I’m sure there will be no opinions formed because of this.

— Erik Malinowski (@erikmal) June 5, 2017

  LeSean McCoy has $200,000 riding on the Warriors.

  This is so insane:

Pathetic excuse by London Mayor Sadiq Khan who had to think fast on his "no reason to be alarmed" statement. MSM is working hard to sell it!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) June 5, 2017

  Warriors floor cleaner is the best.

  ESPN is bringing back the Monday Night Football theme song.

  Subscribe to Crossing Broadcast to get a new show every Monday, Wednesday and Friday around 7:15 a.m.:

Your Monday Morning Roundup published first on your-t1-blog-url

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Blown Leads, Bad Calls, and Great Defense: Ten Takeaways from the NFL’s Wild Card Weekend

Wild card weekend was.. decent, I guess? The games were entertaining, but the quality of play (and officiating) left something to be desired.

It began with a Saturday evening comeback that could instead be viewed as a horrendously blown lead. Atlanta got the road upset, the Saints hung on, and the Jags and Bills played one of the worst playoff games in recent memory, unless you really, really appreciate defense.

The Eagles get the Falcons this weekend, which I think most people agreed was the best possible matchup for Nick Foles and company. We’ll break that down in a separate post.

But if we’re looking for one overarching theme, I’d say that the Birds should feel good about their playoff chances, since I wasn’t overly impressed by what either NFC winner did this week.

Were you?

  1) Situational football

The difference in the Atlanta/LA matchup was the Falcons’ smart game management and mix of plays. They controlled the ball for 37:35 while the NFL’s best offense only had it for 22:25.

The Falcons used 33 called running plays and 36 passing plays, three of which became sacks and three that turned into scrambles. When they did toss it, they kept it short, throwing for about four air yards per pass. It was a balanced output that took advantage of two Los Angeles special teams turnovers, allowing the Falcons to jump out to a 13-0 lead.

That was experience on display, with a #6 seed going on the road but showing the same smarts and savvy that took them to last year’s Super Bowl.

  2) Dirty bird defense

Todd Gurley finished with 14 carries for 101 yards. Robert Woods had 9 receptions for 142 yards. Cooper Kupp grabbed 8 for 69 and a score. LA finished with 40 more yards than Atlanta.

But the Falcons won in other areas, limiting Gurley to four catches for just 10 yards, which was his third-lowest total on the season. Sammy Watkins had one snag for 28 yards. Combined, the pair mustered only 38 receiving yards on 14 total targets. That’s inefficiency right there, with just 14.6% Jared Goff’s yardage coming on 31% of his attempts.

The Rams went 5-14 on third down for a 35.7% success rate, well below the 41.1 number that placed them top-10 in the regular season. And they were just 1-3 on 4th down.

The Falcons have a smaller and faster defense that moves well in space and makes big plays. Defensive coordinator Marquand Manuel was a journeyman safety who played eight NFL seasons and worked as a Seattle assistant during the Legion of Boom era. He should start getting some national recognition for the job he’s doing in Atlanta.

  3) Jared Goff

He’s a player. He’ll be around for a long time, leading a young team with a young coach that has talent on both sides of the ball. I think the turnovers put the Rams behind the eight ball, a squad with zero playoff experience, let alone playing from behind.

But even during the comeback attempt, he was throwing into some tight areas that would make Hall of Famers blush.

This was one of the best passes of the entire NFL weekend, with Goff stepping through the pocket on a third and 10 in his own territory:

DIME.

WOW, @JaredGoff16. #ATLvsLAR #LARams http://pic.twitter.com/vOXr6WKzdk

— NFL (@NFL) January 7, 2018

And a freeze frame, just for good measure:

Jared Goff fit this into the smallest possible window http://pic.twitter.com/wOz7xI9BC5

— SB Nation NFL (@SBNationNFL) January 7, 2018

Nick Foles would run backwards and sideways there and probably take a sack or throw it out of bounds.

  4) Who dat?

Alvin Kamara and Mark Ingram contributed 68 scrimmage yards and the Saints still won.

There was a first half surge where I thought New Orleans might blow Carolina out of the water, but that wasn’t the case at all. This game was closer than predicted.

Drew Brees picked up the slack through the air, going for 376 yards, two touchdowns, and an interception on a highly questionable 4th and 2 call at the end of the game. That was Sean Payton trying to ice it with about two minutes left, which almost backfired badly.

But the Saints’ defense forced an intentional grounding and finished with a sack on the Panthers’ final drive, doing enough to get the job done against a Carolina team that came in with a good game plan.

More than anything, I wasn’t floored by the New Orleans performance. I still think they’re a difficult matchup for the Eagles, but here’s a team that lost five games in 2017 and didn’t appear to be the well-oiled machine we’re used to seeing out there. Their trip to Minnesota is probably the best matchup of the divisional round.

  5) Panthers and protocol

They started strong, then dropped a touchdown, missed a field goal, and quickly found themselves down 14-3.

Credit to Carolina though, I thought they might get clobbered, but they fought back to within a score and had a chance to win it at the end.

I think the division rival narrative was a little underplayed here. Sure, the Saints beat the Panthers twice in the regular season, but three wins against a team you see more frequently than others is somewhat difficult to pull off.

Cam Newton finished 24-40 for 349 yards and two touchdowns. There was an outcry from Twitter doctors after he appeared to play through a fourth-quarter concussion, but Newton said that wasn’t the case after this play:

Cam Newton just hit a brick wall. http://pic.twitter.com/wHc3VicfhF

— 360°FantasyFootball (@360FFB) January 8, 2018

Newton explained that he was poked in the eye, as the contact made his helmet come down over his forehead, and disputed the idea that he was concussed.

That seems to be contradicted by this video:

This "Cam Newton's visor poked him in the eye" is the greatest storyline in the history of sports. And I'm saying that as a former WWE wrestler. Watch the video, you don't collapse after that him because you need ice on your face. It's a #concussion. http://pic.twitter.com/fgsMiai3et

— Chris Nowinski, Ph.D. (@ChrisNowinski1) January 8, 2018

But that could also be embellishment to buy time for the backup quarterback to warm up on the sidelines, right?

I don’t know. I really don’t know. Newton looked pretty good on the field after that, and I’m just a guy sitting at home, watching on TV, so that’s how qualified I am to pass judgment here.

  6) Terrible quarterback play

Buffalo vs. Jacksonville had the feeling of a 1 p.m. Week 3 game, with two of the NFL’s worst signal callers squaring off.

Tyrod Taylor finished 17-37 for 134 yards and an interception.

Blake Bortles was 12-23 for 87 yards and a touchdown.

Both were starting their first playoff game and both were pretty pitiful, but Bortles did some improvisational damage with 88 rushing yards on 10 attempts. That was probably the difference, as Jacksonville eventually found the red zone and scored on a one-yard, play action pass.

You could hear Tony Romo going through various stages of anguish having to call this game. Romo, who played in just six playoff games during his career, was assigned a Taylor/Bortles game in his first color commentary postseason gig.

Talk about rough:

  7) Jacksonville Jag-wires

Of the remaining teams, they most resemble the Eagles, a squad with an excellent defense and suspect QB play.

They beat the Steelers 30-9 back in Week 5 on the strength of five interceptions. Jacksonville’s defense has held opponents to 10 or fewer points nine times this season. They are legit in every way.

Here’s a stat worth mentioning, courtesy of ESPN:

“Since drafting Ben Roethlisberger in 2004, the Steelers have a losing home record against two teams (including playoffs). Those teams are the Patriots (2-5)…..and the Jaguars (1-4).”

And those are the two squads the Steelers have to go through to get to the Super Bowl. Both won at Heinz Field this season.

I’d be stunned if Jacksonville does it again this weekend, but the box score and theme from that game wasn’t entirely dissimilar from what happened yesterday. Bortles was 8-14 for 95 yards and an interception. But the Jags’ ground game was working, and Leonard Fournette ripped off 181 yards and 2 touchdowns on 28 carries back in Week 5, while Pittsburgh did this:

Jax has proven they can win while Bortles plays like shit, so we’ll see if their defense can get it done for a second time this season in Pittsburgh.

  8) The Bills Mafia

I respect the enthusiasm of a fan base that hadn’t been to the playoffs in forever.

And when you jump through flaming tables in the parking lot, that’s wild, too.

But when Bill Cowher does it during the pregame show, it’s probably dead:

Bill Cowher just joined #BillsMafia! http://pic.twitter.com/HHlAHKUML2

— Sports Illustrated (@SInow) January 7, 2018

Buffalo needs a franchise quarterback. I’m not sure who it is.

  9) Marcus Mariota

Speaking of franchise quarterbacks, does that label apply to Marcus Mariota? He went 7-7 on third down in the second half against Kansas City, shaking off a poor first half and completing a 19-0 run to steal a win on the road.

Mariota’s first career playoff touchdown pass was thrown to himself:

Marcus Mariota just caught his own pass for a @Titans TD!!

Not a typo.#TitanUp #NFLPlayoffs http://pic.twitter.com/bDBVukfZuY

— NFL (@NFL) January 6, 2018

Gisele Bundchen once said, “My husband cannot fucking throw the ball and catch the ball at the same time,” which no longer holds true, apparently.

But in all seriousness, Mariota was impressive in the second half. He made some plays, Derrick Henry ran the ball like a beast, and the QB actually threw a great block on the clock-killing final drive:

  10) Gotta do a better job

Andy Reid has now lost 13 playoff games.

He’s 1-7 in his last eight postseason games.

Saturday, his team blew an 18-point first half lead.

I’m not a guy who cheers against Andy. I appreciate what he did in Philadelphia, even if he never won the Super Bowl.

Yeah, Alex Smith could have made a few second half plays. Yeah, the drops hurt the offense. Yeah, Travis Kelce was sorely missed. And the defense was not the same in the 3rd and 4th quarters.

But when you’re winning by multiple scores and Kareem Hunt finishes with 11 carries, it’s indefensible.

  Feel bad for Andy Reid. I mean, it's hard to get the ball to your running back when you're only leading by two scores for most of the game http://pic.twitter.com/QLnByqiydS

— Ryan McCrystal (@Ryan_McCrystal) January 7, 2018

Also, the worst call of the weekend (and there were many) took place during this game, when a Mariota fumble was somehow overturned because his “forward progress” was stopped during a sack.

If this isn’t a fumble, then 50% of NFL turnovers have been incorrectly ruled over the past 35 years:

Derrick Johnson crunches Mariota. Drive ends in a Tennessee field goal after a shoulda been fumble recovery by KC. http://pic.twitter.com/IRVAXar7sW

— Chiefs Kingdom (@__chiefskingdom) January 6, 2018

I don’t know how NFL officiating becomes progressively worse, year after year.

Blown Leads, Bad Calls, and Great Defense: Ten Takeaways from the NFL’s Wild Card Weekend published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv

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Your Monday Morning Roundup

Excitement.

Let’s hit it!

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  The roundup:

LaVar Ball responds to Joel Embiid's fine from the NBA: "When you working for somebody, shut your mouth." http://pic.twitter.com/HrsD0RKXxn

— Jovan Buha (@jovanbuha) July 15, 2017

LaVar Ball escalated (continued?) his beef with Joel Embiid this weekend:

“He gets fined every time he says a cuss word. Like I said, his vocabulary is limited. I bet you he can’t say ‘F you’ more than I can say it to him—’cause his ass will be broke. When you’re working for somebody, shut your mouth.”

OK few things:

1) LaVar isn’t working for someone because his son is… working for someone. And because he started a dumb sneaker brand nobody likes.

2) He’s a great WWE heel and I sort of enjoy him.

3) Nothing bad can come of this. It’s borderline tongue-in-cheek with both Embiid and Ball, and it sets up excellent courtside dynamics when the Sixers play the Lakers. All-in on this.

4) Liliano or whatever the fuck his name is looks like a little boy and no way he’s going to be an NBA player.

  Allen Iverson announces that he won't be playing in tonight's BIG3 game in Philly (: theofficialai3/Instagram) http://pic.twitter.com/fFLKU3lBTq

— Sports Illustrated (@SInow) July 16, 2017

This is the most Iverson thing ever. That whole league was basically built around Iverson playing a homecoming game in Philly (never mind the pesky little problem of Iverson already having played like 8 homecoming games in Philly, say nothing of his countless AI nights). How hurt could he possibly be to not put on the sneakers for a few minutes and stand out there and throw up alley-oops in a shitty 3-on-3 game? Imagine buying tickets to this. For real, imagine being one of the saps who bought tickets for the sole purpose of seeing AI play one last time.

Still, he showed up and did his Jimmy Duggan routine:

I love AI as much as the next guy, but can we please space out our AI appearances a bit? It feel like it’s every three months that he gets this exact same ovation at the Wells Fargo Center. He’s like Paul McCartney nowadays– just a cheap carnival trick to draw a crowd.

Add injury to insult: After the game, Allen Iverson and Ice Cube refused to address the media (this is a sentence I fully expected to write at some point). Dan Levy of Billy Penn explains:

After telling the media that Iverson and Ice Cube would come out to talk after the final game, a Big3 media staffer said the group was not going to address the media. I guess A.I. doesn’t need any more, ahem, practice in front of a microphone.

The group didn’t have Dr. J talk to the media either, so he stood behind a curtain five feet from where two of his players sat to answer questions about Philly and Iverson. I think we made eye contact at one point as I looked across to see if he was still there. It was a special moment for both of us, surely.

The Big3 has done a lot right, but tonight was a PR disaster. Fans left angry, the media left irate and instead of handling the Iverson no-show on the court well by controlling the message, the Big3 looked incredibly small-time. An odd decision for an organization that needs publicity to thrive.

The Big 3 having a PR disaster is like OJ having legal troubles– it’s just sort of a built-in feature. I’d feign outrage if this were important enough to care about.

  You’re not going to believe this, but Ezekiel Elliot may be a piece of shit:

My “source” goes even further than this Mike Fisher guy in Dallas & claims the DJ had to go to the hospital. https://t.co/ww4szclHo3

— Busted Coverage (@bustedcoverage) July 17, 2017

DMs already LIT this morning http://pic.twitter.com/9xOkZTUOQ3

— Busted Coverage (@bustedcoverage) July 17, 2017

Things are already looking up this season.

  Someone made a life-sized Joel Embiid balloon animal and posted it on Craigslist https://t.co/kyyA7J74iY http://pic.twitter.com/YBBKs8WO1a

— Sports Illustrated (@SInow) July 16, 2017

This actually gets me irrationally angry. First of all, it’s not life-sized. No way that thing is 7-feet tall. That room likely has 8-foot ceilings, and there’s at least two feet of clearance between the ceiling and Embiid’s head. It has two sets of knees. The jersey font is all wrong. And while I appreciate the perhaps unintentional broken foot as attention to detail, this thing is mostly a disaster. Stuff like this – quirky replicates of familiar things – are cool when the attention to detail is outrageously accurate, like someone including the breast enlargement scars on a massive mermaid sand sculpture. But this balloon Jojo, quite frankly, sucks. Most clowns would drive laps around this guy (presumably in a comically small car with a horn). Do better.

  Tim McManus was asked who he thought has the hottest seat in the NFC East in an ESPN.com Q&A:

Eagles head coach Doug Pederson. There were a few factors working against Pederson last season. It was his first year as a head coach in the NFL. He was tasked with implementing a new system and building a new culture, all while breaking in a rookie quarterback in Carson Wentz, who leaped from third-stringer to starter when Sam Bradford was traded to Minnesota a week before the start of the regular season. With a year of experience under his (and his quarterback’s) belt and with more offensive weapons at his disposal, it should be easier sledding for Pederson in Year 2. That’s good, because the expectations are up. Owner Jeffrey Lurie believes he has a special quarterback in Wentz, and while he’s publicly preaching patience, he also is itching to return his franchise to prominence. With a potential franchise QB in place, a rare window of opportunity could be opening. Pederson needs to show that he is the right man to take advantage of it. Another 7-9 season just won’t do.

Tim isn’t the sort of guy to just throw shit at a wall for the sake of stirring it, so I’d put at least a little stock in the notion that Pederson does have a little something to prove this year.

  I could listen to a Despacito takeoff about virtually anything. The bikinis just add to it.

  Michael Irvin wants to be an MMA fighter. I will seriously pay for Brian Dawkins to be the opponent.

  R. Kelly may have kidnapped women for his cult.

  Doug Pederson is actively trying to set unreasonable high expectations for himself.

  Subscribe to Crossing Broadcast to get a new show every Monday, Wednesday and Friday around 7:15 a.m.:

Your Monday Morning Roundup published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv

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Your Monday Morning Roundup

I enjoy this very much.

Let’s hit it!

  But first, a word from our sponsors:

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  The roundup:

Klay Thompson.

There are Klay Thompson-to-the-Sixers rumors. They got started on a blog somewhere (not this one!), quickly become the topic du jour on 97.5, which led to #MikeyMissed having Klay Thompson’s father on Friday to talk about his son’s career. Yes, Klay Thompson’s father to weigh in on half-baked speculation about his son getting traded. Fuck me sideways.

Would Thomspon work on the Sixers? You bet. It would take their third pick, probably a pick next year, and either or at least Dario Saric, Robert Covington or Richaun Holmes. I’d do it in a second, because Klay Thompson, a 27-year-old all-world shooter and elite defender is exactly what the Sixers need. But he also has two years left on his deal with the Warriors, whom I would assume are in no hurry to dismantle arguably the greatest team of all-time. Certainly, in two and three years, it will be hard for the Warriors to keep him and Draymond Green, this after they will likely re-sign Steph Curry and Kevin Durant this year. Thompson will probably be the odd man out (if Draymond doesn’t flame out by doing something stupid). The Warriors, if they have any foresight, would at least consider trading Thompson before his contract is up so they can get some value and keep open their window of opportunity. But doing so now would be like Ruben Amaro trading Chase Utley in 2009. They simply don’t need to do it, even if they can get a HAUL for him. Why would they want to give up a potential dyanasty for the sake of prudence? This is such a Philly created thing it’s not even funny.

So, to recap: Should the Sixers do anything they can to get Klay Thompson? Yes. Is there a chance it happens this summer? No.

  Jeremy Maclin

The Chiefs cut Jeremy Maclin. Cue the Eagles talk. Maclin makes so much more sense on many other teams. Most notably, LeSean McCoy is campaigning for him to go to Buffalo. So is Tyrod Taylor. I get why the Eagles speculation is there, but he is not the guy they need right now. He would improve the team in the short-term, but they’re not contending next season, so having Maclin, in addition to Alshon Jeffery, Torrey Smith and Jordan Matthews, while it wouldn’t be overkill, would be the epitome of building from the outside-in with win-now talent on a non-win-now team that has many other holes. The Eagles have their receivers for next year– good ones who can potentially stick around. Maclin would be yet another reach into the past.

  Simmons & No. 3 to the Knicks for Porzingis and No. 8 — Would you do it?

Our #Sixers analysts give thier takeshttps://t.co/Q55GvoXmU7

— CSN Philly (@CSNPhilly) June 4, 2017

OH COME ON.

  Odubel Herrera bounced out of his funk with a few hits and this derranged bat flip this weekend:

welp http://pic.twitter.com/j9T8WVw3LA

— Nick Piccone (@nickpiccone) June 3, 2017

Swell. Herrera is hitting .234 with a .276 on-base percentage and he’s flipping bats and basically inviting pitchers to hit him for being a showboat:

“Of course, it worries me a little bit,” he said. “I don’t want to get drilled.

“But I’m not going to change the way I play. If I get hit, I’m just going to have to rub it.”

Last week, Curt Schilling told Mike Missanelli that the only thing worse than Philly fans being mad is when they’re indifferent. So I guess my ire toward Herrera could be viewed as an improvement for the 2017 Phils?

  DGB says he’s not getting a lot of opportunities at OTAs. CAN’T IMAGINE WHY.

  The Ryans are a gift:

Rob and Rex Ryan crushing Nashville @barstoolsports @BarstoolBigCat http://pic.twitter.com/AxktGa0Hn7

— Cooper Stefaniak (@CooperStef) June 4, 2017

  The Cavs' postgame court exit was interrupted by a fight between fans http://pic.twitter.com/BwrxtwFtnH

— Sports Illustrated (@SInow) June 5, 2017

Love J.R. Smith pushing LeBron away. #enforcer

  Good to see that LeBron has developed a thick skin:

NBA says LeBron will not be speaking at podium after game. I’m sure there will be no opinions formed because of this.

— Erik Malinowski (@erikmal) June 5, 2017

  LeSean McCoy has $200,000 riding on the Warriors.

  This is so insane:

Pathetic excuse by London Mayor Sadiq Khan who had to think fast on his "no reason to be alarmed" statement. MSM is working hard to sell it!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) June 5, 2017

  Warriors floor cleaner is the best.

  ESPN is bringing back the Monday Night Football theme song.

  Subscribe to Crossing Broadcast to get a new show every Monday, Wednesday and Friday around 7:15 a.m.:

Your Monday Morning Roundup published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv