#First time posting a fic here. If you need a trigger warning or smth pls tell me

[fandom-with-no-hope]

A trigun fanfic written by my beloved wife.

Warning: Spoilers for Trigun

Just a silly fic I inspired her to write when we talked about the fact that everyone Vash loves would die before he does.

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Again.

Alone again.

You would think that being alive for such a long time would have make it easier, to accommodate to loneliness, but sadly, he was nowhere near the relief of the calm.

The silence resonates through his head, through his heart, and as he walks in the sand, the only things that keeps him grounded are the gun resting on his hip and the cross in his back, the only remnant of his beloved.

It all felt quite strange, how he got used to lives thriving, dancing around him, and acting like he was one of them. But now, the only feeling echoing in his heart is one of a hole, absorbing and consuming any hopes or joy he could’ve had.

It all felt surreal, how such a beautiful journey, such beautiful beings came to an end so abruptly.

Again.

This isn’t like this was the first time, he had to walk alone, or stand there, but now, it all felt different.

Like something was missing.

And he knew very well what that something was, he always knew, since he met them, since he met him, he always knew that he would never feel the same as he ever did.

And still, despite knowing that, he threw himself into it, into all of it, because there was no other way to fulfill his wish, Rem’s wish, and to live his life to the fullest.

But did it have to hurt this bad to live his life this way?

Wasn’t this enough?

He promised her to live her life to the fullest, but at what point was this considered enough? How much did he have to live, to love, to loose and to dream about to be considered done?

As he walks, he wondered if any other being could relate to the feelings he had to bear, all consuming and all overwhelming, but nevertheless his.

What will he do now?

He didn’t even question himself about it, because for him, the present, the past or the future, all of that seemed strange, like all notions of time were never real.

But he knows, that once, he used to know this, used to know this notions by heart, and play wih them as he pleased.

He lived his life from day to day, savored every minute, every second he spent, engraving them in his memories, keeping record of all the things he did, had done, does or will do just in case, one day, he had to leave it all.

And there he was, alone.

He hadn’t left anything.

He stayed right there.

He did everything, loved every second he spent on this planet, every second he spent with them, with him. He didn’t want to leave anything behind, he was ready to stay, right here and there, not to move an inch, if it meant having one more second, one more day.

But despite all his efforts, everything seemed to slowly fade away, like sand falling through his hands, inevitable.

Even if it meant watching him drift away, get older without him, it was okay as long as they did everything together.

But no, he had to be left alone, abruptly, again.

From the moment he drifted away from him, the joy, the desire to live, it all seemed shut down, evaporated, like a fire blown away.

So there he was, walking, alone under the vibrant sun, and even though he had been walking like this for hours, days, years, nothing seemed to hurt as bad as what he had felt that day.

Years after years, the world changes, it doesn’t wait for you to move on, to keep going, it changes without a sign, without a warning and as he stood there, with only the remnants of the memories of the love of his life being the memories and that cross, he decided to straiten up and look at the sky. And right in front of him, like it knew what happened, his moon was right in front of him, full.

Ha.

You’re here my dear.

He then went on to put down the cross, his cross, and closed his eyes, his entire body turned to his moon.

Your smile is still as bright as ever dear.

And then, it hit him, he realized it.

With a low chuckle, he whipped away the tears falling down as the realization struck him.

He was never alone, they were right here, by his side, as they always were and as they always will be, no matter where or when, or how.

He will never be alone again, as long as he remembers everything, as long as he remembers them, as long as he remembers him and the time they spent together.

Opening up his eyes, he smiled at his moon one last time, and sighed as if his burden was finally released closing his eyes for the last time.

A soft humming come out from his lips, soft and calm, and as the roots began to spread from him he realized he finally achieved what he hoped to be for mankind for the first time.

This night, a tree took root in the unforgiving sand of No Man’s land, as big as the biggest skyscraper from July, and allowed others smaller plants, flowers to bloom around him, except for one place, the one where a cross was planted, standing next to the tree, fierce and strong.