#Ford would be a fantastic intergalactic interdimensional best man

[askthestans]

Also, Ford, did you keep any notes or another journal while in the other dimension?

Stanford: I did, in fact! However, when you’re crossing multiple dimensions, what stays real and what doesn’t differs depending on which you’re in. After so many physical journals I’d tried to keep disintegrated from dimensional crossing, I decided to quit.

That is, until I came across Dimension 41′?. It’s much like ours, but if corporations ruled the world and ethics were thrown out the window in favor of technological advancement. A cyberpunk dystopia, if you will.

Stanley: I get the dystopia part, ‘cause we live in one. But cyberpunk? The hell is that? Care to nerd translate for me?

Stanford: You probably would like the genre, Stan. It’s usually about a group of people working to take down the law-

Stanley: I’m listening…

Stanford: The youth taking down the law, specifically, fixing the mistakes of a society they inherited. Granted, it’s pretty unrealistic that only mere teenagers could-

Stanley: Ugh, teenagers? Never mind! Spend half the damn story just figurin’ out which stupid fellow kid they’re gonna shack up with. *Stan’s voice raises an octave*. “Oh, hot boy one, how could I ever choose between you and hot boy two!? The world’s at stake and we’re barely surviving, but I need to get my rocks off before we dismantle the government together with the power of love and plot armor!”

That’s like that Divergence Games or whatever it’s called that Dipper had me endure last Summer. The part with kids fightin’ to the death? Couldn’t get enough of it! The rest, yeesh! Hollywood needs to make more dystopias with old crumbs like us as the main characters, who have realized that romantic love is overrated and what really matters is-

Stanford: Righting the wrongs of generations past? Grappling with the dark side of technology as humanity hurtles ever forward like a child playing with scissors on ice? Sacrificing your own potential gains to improve a society you won’t live long enough to see?

Stanley: I was gonna say family, money, and big explosions, but yeah, I guess those work, too.

Stanford: Anyways, Dimension 41′? was far more technologically advanced than ours, despite it being chronologically the same. The metal plate in my head isn’t the only upgrade I got out in the multiverse. I’d already gotten a neon blue mohawk to fit in with a gang of grandmotherly hackers in Dimension 41′?, so when I came across an implant that would store data inside my brain - a personal file folder accessible by mere imagination and thought - well, why not?

Something like that wouldn’t disintegrate when I crossed dimensions. A perfect place to keep a journal of sorts. Also, it was useful for storing the cookie recipes those nice ladies shared with me. And those weapon blueprints after we dismantled the government together there.

Stanley: See? I bet that’d make for a way better dystopian story than A Shindig of Love Triangles and Hormonal Angst like the crud in our dimension.

Stanford: Oh no, there was a love triangle. Actually a love pentagon, if I remember correctly. And a secondary love triangle at one point. Hah, those ladies were always getting into relationships with each other, then out, then in again.

By the end of our adventure, they all realized it was folly, gave up the drama, and got engaged to each other. Which reminds me, I need to borrow your suit next week, Stanley. Can’t be a best man without one!