#Forreal though mental health improved when I stepped back more and found my group
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Accidentally logged into my old mistake blog and only notifs I had gotten in the past year were for that one post with almost 1K notes
And I remember absolutely hating it and now I have the reminder that I really don’t crave that kind of attention anymore
#there’s no real point to this just thoughts#I’m honestly happier sharing my work with a small group of friends and getting that validation#than managing accounts and worrying about putting stuff out in the wild#downside is it enables my hermit tendencies so I’m even less inclined to post#when I do have art#…not that I’ve had new art in MONTHS#(I say having opened an art show today with my stuff in the gallery)#(it’s just not the art you guys want)#something something notes and attention isn’t everything#there’s like a certain golden zone level of attention#below it you’re sad people aren’t noticing you#above it and you feel like shit and burnt out trying to appeal to everyone#I don’t give a fuck about feeding social media and esp algorithms anymore#Forreal though mental health improved when I stepped back more and found my group#getting too much attention when I was younger fucked me up#and I’m STILL working through the damage#which I know probs sounds like bullshit to people struggling for attention/recognition#but for me it’s true. maybe improves things for others#but for me it just enabled my worst tendencies that I even got praised for
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