#GOD USLDFJLKDSJFSDFSDF

[alicelillianshaw]

The pulse of pressure when Jack squeezes her hands. The smile he wore on his face, big, beautiful, arresting, reflecting Alice's own startled joy.

The sound of his voice when he speaks her name again.

'Alice,'

A low tone— maybe incredulous. It makes Alice's heart vibrate, makes her eyes flutter shut when he suddenly raises a hand to cup her face. There's the brush of his finger over her bottom orbital bone. A kiss, administered to the opposite cheek; such bliss. Jack's lips felt warm and gentle.

'Alice, I love you very much right now, but I just keep thinking about how much more I'm going to love you one hour from now. Or when the sun comes up. Or in a week. And right now it feels like I won't ever be able to love you as much as I do in this moment, but I will.'

And that was the beauty of the future; the way it stretched out in front of them, un-stamped and undetermined, blank for their choices alone. When the sun comes up, paints New Mexico in shades of orange, Jack will love Alice more, and her him. When he swings up into the creaking saddle at start of the trail ride, they'll love each other more. It will be formed from a thousand little moments, a thousand big ones, by inevitably and choice.

A week from now, Jack's hair will have only grown one-eighth of a centimeter, according to averages and sciences. But them and their love is bound to no such rules. A week from now— what will Alice feel for Jack? How much? There was no limit. And it made Alice want to cry with happiness to hear Jack point it out.

Jack shifts, presses their foreheads together, and Alice's eyes open, hungry to look at him so close, hungry to see the love reflected back in his eyes.

'Do you know how happy I am that I get to love you? Do you know how lucky I am that I got to figure it out to soon? I should be thanking you, you know. For... everything you've given me this week. I, uh. I don't think I've told you. How bad it was, before you got here. How long it'd been since I made myself sit down and enjoy a meal. So. Thank you.'

Oh, Jack. Alice's throat immediately tightens— to the point of discomfort, imaging Jack, how bad it was for him. He wasn't even eating. Not really. Not in the way where you felt like you deserved the time and effort for a proper meal. It broke Alice's heart all the more knowing how much passion he seemed to have for cooking. How much of his other joys had been taken from him? The sudden hearings. The cycle of the news, trying to beat him bloody against the rocks. If she had her way— she wouldn't let this world steal any more of his joy.

Alice cups his face gently.

"Please don't ever thank me for anything,"

"You know how happy I am to be here for you?"

Her voice is a quiet murmur.

"I really do feel— so honored, that you would let me in during something like this. With everything going on. It makes me— absurdly happy, to know you'd love me during all of this. The fact that you can love me like this during the difficult things is... I don't know. It's proof that you really are so fucking wonderful. That you have room in your heart for me."

Alice grins and she feels a prick moisture behind her eyes— something blinked away with questionable success.

"Doesn't it just make you more excited for the trip now?"

"Like you said... it really is so fucking cool how much more I'm gonna love you when I watch you see the Rio gorge for the first time. Or when I make you pull over to try bizcochito from a little store. Or... like.. now I'm really excited to love you more when we look at constellations together."

Professing his love to Alice hadn't been on the agenda for the evening, but fate demanded it. The universe called for it. Jack would have died keeping such a big secret for even a second longer.

And now Alice held onto both of his hands, repeating those perfect words back to him. Had they ever existed before that moment? No, it didn't feel like it. Alice said them with such conviction, like she'd written the words just for him.

"I think I love you more than I ever loved anything."

Jack tried to wrap his head around that statement. How was something like that even possible? More than she ever loved anything before. More than she loved her mother's cooking and trail rides with her father. More than her favorite sad movie and more than she loved to hate the Yankees.

And then she was thanking him.

Throughout all of it, Jack was smiling. Big. So big that his cheeks heart. He squeezed both of her hands. Tightly.

"Alice," he repeated quietly, but his voice sounded different. There was an air of disbelief there, like he couldn't really comprehend what was happening. He raised one of his hands, pressing it to the side of her face. He brushed his thumb over the subtle rise of her cheekbone. He kissed the opposite side of her face.

"Alice, I love you very much right now, but I just keep thinking about how much more I'm going to love you one hour from now. Or when the sun comes up. Or in a week. And right now it feels like I won't ever be able to love you as much as I do in this moment, but I will."

No doubt about it.

"Do you know how happy I am you love me?"

Jack pressed his forehead against hers.

"Do you know how happy I am that I get to love you? Do you know how lucky I am that I got to figure it out to soon?" Jack swallowed. "I should be thanking you, you know. For... everything you've given me this week. I, uh. I don't think I've told you. How bad it was, before you got here. How long it'd been since I made myself sit down and enjoy a meal. So. Thank you."