#HAPPY DONNA EMERSON DAY TO ALL WHO CELEBRATE!

[haltandcatchfiretothemax]

[CN: brief food and alcohol mentions]

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Headcanon that a few months after they start dating, Cameron asks Donna if she can take her out for her birthday 

Donna of course has a small, semi-casual party planned for the girls and their closest friends, but Cameron still wants to do something, just the two of them

On the night of the actual birthday, after they’ve had dinner and cake and champagne with Haley and Vanessa, as they’re tidying up the kitchen, Cameron awkwardly asks Donna, “So like, you like surprises, right? And to be spontaneous, or whatever?” Donna grins at her over her shoulder, from the sink, “Does that mean you have something in mind?” Cameron grins back tentatively, “Tomorrow night. I’ll pick you up. See you at 7?” “It’s a date,” Donna agrees.

The following evening, Cameron drives them to what turns out to be the planetarium. In the parking lot, she anxiously asks, “So is this cool? Or…? I mean we totally don’t have to go in, if you don’t want to.” “Are you kidding?!” Donna enthuses, “This is perfect! I love it!” and throws her arms around Cameron and kisses her on the cheek. 

They see a 7:45 presentation of a show about the moon landing. Cameron buys packs of freeze dried ice cream for them, and manages to not panic too hard when Donna asks to hold her hand

At a nearby waffle house afterwards, over biscuits and gravy and pancakes, Cameron explains, “I wanted to take you stargazing, that’s supposed to be romantic, right? I thought it might be kind of cold for that, though, so. This seemed like the next best thing.” Smiling warmly at Cameron, Donna says, “Well, that is very thoughtful. This was perfect, though. And besides, we can get a raincheck for the stargazing, right?”

The following spring, on Donna’s half-birthday, she drives out to Cameron’s property, where Cameron has deep-cleaned the back of her truck, and they set up their sleeping bags and a bunch of pillows and blankets that Donna brought from home and thermoses of hot chocolate, and they lie under the stars in cozy pajamas and flannel shirts together, long stretches of absurdly comfortable quiet between them, where they just stare upwards together, punctuated by inside jokes and tech industry gossip and the occasional smooch

But that night, the night after Donna’s birthday, after the planetarium and the waffle house, Donna asks Cameron to find a quiet spot to ‘park,’ which eventually results in them making out furiously for a little while. By which point, Cameron has officially and fully forgotten that she was ever nervous that Donna wouldn’t enjoy herself on their date. 

[blackkudos]

Audra McDonald

Audra Ann McDonald (born July 3, 1970) is an American actress and singer. She has appeared on the stage in both musicals and dramas such as Ragtime, A Raisin in the Sun and Porgy and Bess. With her full lyric soprano voice, she maintains an active concert and recording career performing song cycles and operas as well as in concerts throughout the U.S. She has won six Tony Awards, more performance wins than any other actor, and is the only person to win all four acting categories. She starred as Dr. Naomi Bennett on the ABC television drama Private Practice.

Early life and education

McDonald was born in West Berlin, Germany, the daughter of American parents, Anna Kathryn, a university administrator, and Stanley McDonald, Jr., a high school principal. At the time of her birth, her father was stationed with the U.S. Army. McDonald was raised in Fresno, California, the elder of two daughters. McDonald graduated from the Roosevelt School of the Arts program within Theodore Roosevelt High School in Fresno. She got her start in acting with Dan Pessano and Good Company Players, beginning in their junior company. "I knew I wanted to be involved in theater when I had my first chance to perform with the Good Company Players Junior Company." "The people who have had the most impact on my life: Good Company director Dan Pessano and my mother." She studied classical voice as an undergraduate under Ellen Faull at the Juilliard School, graduating in 1993.

Career

Theatre

McDonald was a three-time Tony Award winner by age 28 for her performances in Carousel, Master Class, and Ragtime, placing her alongside Shirley Booth, Gwen Verdon and Zero Mostel by accomplishing this feat within five years. She was nominated for another Tony Award for her performance in Marie Christine before she won her fourth in 2004 for her role in A Raisin in the Sun, placing her in the company of then four-time winning actress Angela Lansbury. She reprised her Raisin role for a 2008 television adaptation, earning her a second Emmy Award nomination. On June 10, 2012, McDonald scored her fifth Tony Award win for her portrayal of Bess in Broadway's The Gershwins' Porgy and Bess, thus tying Angela Lansbury and Julie Harris. Her 2014 performance as Billie Holiday in Lady Day at Emerson's Bar and Grill earned McDonald her sixth Tony award and made her the first person to win all four acting categories.

McDonald appeared as Lizzie in the Roundabout Theatre Company's 2007 revival of 110 in the Shade, directed by Lonny Price at Studio 54, for which she shared the Drama Desk Award for Best Actress in a Musical with Donna Murphy. On April 29, 2007, while she was in previews for the show, her father was killed when an experimental aircraft he was flying crashed north of Sacramento, California.

McDonald is known for defying racial typecasting in her various Tony Award-winning and -nominated roles. Her performances as Carrie Pipperidge in Nicholas Hytner's 1996 revival of Carousel and Lizzie Curry in Lonny Price's 2007 revival of 110 in the Shade made her the first black woman to portray those (traditionally white) roles in a major Broadway production. Of her groundbreaking work in encouraging diversity in musical theatre casting, she said in an interview for The New York Times, "I refuse to be stereotyped. If I think I am right for a role I will go for it in whatever way I can. I refuse to say no to myself. I can't control what a producer will do or say but I can at least put myself out there." In a 'Talk of the Nation' interview on NPR, Asian-American actor Thom Sesma said McDonald's performance in Carousel "transcended any kind of type at all", proving her to be "more actress than African-American."

McDonald appeared in a revised version of Porgy and Bess, at the American Repertory Theatre (in Cambridge, Massachusetts) from August through September 2011, and recreated the role on Broadway at the Richard Rodgers Theatre, which opened on January 12, 2012 and closed on September 23, 2012. For this role, McDonald won her fifth Tony Award and her first in a Leading Actress category. This American Repertory Theater production was "re-imagined by Suzan-Lori Parks and Diedre Murray as a musical for contemporary audiences."

She appeared at the Williamstown Theatre Festival, Williamstown, Massachusetts, in Eugene O'Neill's play A Moon for the Misbegotten in August 2015, co-starring with her husband Will Swenson.

In 2016, McDonald starred on Broadway as the vaudeville performer Lottie Gee in a new musical titled Shuffle Along, or, the Making of the Musical Sensation of 1921 and All That Followed about the making of the 1921 musical Shuffle Along. McDonald left the show on July 24, 2016 to begin maternity leave. Shuffle Along closed on July 24, 2016.

Lady Day at Emerson's Bar and Grill

McDonald played Billie Holiday on Broadway in the play Lady Day at Emerson's Bar and Grill in a limited engagement that ended on August 10, 2014. After previews that began on March 25, 2014, the play opened at the Circle in the Square Theatre on April 13, 2014. Of the play, McDonald said in an interview:

It's about a woman trying to get through a concert performance, which I know something about, and she's doing it at a time when her liver was pickled and she was still doing heroin regularly...I might have been a little judgmental about Billie Holiday early on in my life, but what I’ve come to admire most about her – and what is fascinating in this show – is that there is never any self-pity. She's almost laughing at how horrible her life has been. I don’t think she sees herself as a victim. And she feels an incredible connection to her music – she can’t sing a song if she doesn’t have some emotional connection to it, which I really understand.

McDonald won the Tony Award for Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role in a Play for this role, making her the first person to earn six Tony Award wins for acting (not counting honorary awards) and the first person to win a Tony Award in all four acting categories. In her acceptance speech, "she thanked her parents for encouraging her to pursue her interests as a child." She also thanked the "strong and brave and courageous" African-American women who came before her, saying in part, "I am standing on Lena Horne's shoulders. I am standing on Maya Angelou's shoulders. I am standing on Diahann Carroll and Ruby Dee, and most of all, Billie Holiday. You deserved so much more than you were given when you were on this planet. This is for you, Billie." This performance was filmed at Cafe Brasil in New Orleans and broadcast on HBO on March 12, 2016. McDonald received a 2016 Emmy Award nomination for Outstanding Lead Actress in a Limited Series or Movie for her role in the broadcast.

McDonald had planned to make her West End debut as Holiday in Lady Day in June through September 2016, but after becoming pregnant she postponed these plans. She will perform in Lady Day in June 2017 through September 9, 2017 at the Wyndham’s Theatre in the West End.

Recordings and concerts

McDonald has maintained ties to her classical training and repertoire. She frequently performs in concert throughout the U.S. and has performed with musical organizations such as the New York Philharmonic and the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. Carnegie Hall commissioned the song cycle The Seven Deadly Sins: A Song Cycle for McDonald, and she performed it at Carnegie's Zankel Hall on June 2, 2004. She sang two solo one-act operas at the Houston Grand Opera in March 2006: Francis Poulenc's La voix humaine and the world premiere of Michael John LaChiusa's Send (who are you? I love you). On February 10, 2007, McDonald starred with Patti LuPone in the Los Angeles Opera production of Kurt Weill's opera Rise and Fall of the City of Mahagonny directed by John Doyle. The recording of this production of Mahagonny won two Grammy Awards, for Best Opera Recording and Best Classical Album in February 2009.

In September 2008, American composer Michael John LaChiusa was quoted in Opera News Online, as working on an adaptation of Bizet's Carmen with McDonald in mind.

McDonald has recorded five solo albums for Nonesuch Records. Her first, the 1998 Way Back to Paradise, featured songs written by a new generation of musical theatre composers who had achieved varying degrees of prominence in the 1990s, particularly LaChiusa, Adam Guettel and Jason Robert Brown.

Her next album, How Glory Goes (2000), combined both old and new works, and included composers Harold Arlen, Leonard Bernstein and Jerome Kern. Her third album, Happy Songs (2002), was big band music from the 1920s through the 1940s. Her fourth album, Build a Bridge (2006), features songs from jazz and pop.

In May 2013, Audra McDonald released her first solo album in seven years, Go Back Home, with a title track from the Kander & Ebb musical The Scottsboro Boys. To coincide with the album's release, McDonald performed a concert at Avery Fisher Hall in New York City that aired on the PBS series Live from Lincoln Center titled Audra McDonald In Concert: Go Back Home.

At the 2010 BCS National Championship Game on January 7, McDonald sang America the Beautiful for the sold-out stadium fans to celebrate the final game of the college football season.

In May 2000, Audra McDonald appeared as "The Beggar Woman" in Lonny Price's concert version of Stephen Sondheim's Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street, performed at Avery Fisher Hall at Lincoln Center, New York, with the New York Philharmonic with George Hearn and Patti LuPone. She reprised the role in some performances of the March 2014 Lincoln Center concert production, again directed by Price, this time opposite Bryn Terfel and Emma Thompson. She performed three concerts, titled "Audra McDonald Sings Broadway", in the Sydney Opera House in November 2015, which also included "The Facebook Song" by Kate Miller-Heidke.

Television and film

McDonald has also made many television appearances, both musical and dramatic. In 2001, she received her first Emmy Award nomination for Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Miniseries or Movie for the HBO film Wit, starring Emma Thompson and directed by Mike Nichols. She also has appeared on Homicide: Life on the Street (1999), Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (2000), Having Our Say: The Delany Sisters' First 100 Years (1999), the short-lived Mister Sterling (2003), The Bedford Diaries (2006), and Kidnapped (2006–2007), and in the 1999 television remake of Annie as Daddy Warbucks' secretary & soon-to-be wife, Miss Farrell. She sang with the New York Philharmonic in the annual New Year's Eve gala concert on December 31, 2006, featuring music from the movies; it was televised on Live from Lincoln Center by PBS. In 2013, she appeared in the HBO documentary Six by Sondheim.

McDonald appeared as Naomi Bennett in Private Practice, a spinoff of Grey's Anatomy. She replaced Merrin Dungey, who played the role in the series pilot. McDonald left Private Practice at the end of season four, but returned for the series finale at the end of season six to bring closure to Naomi's storyline.

In films, McDonald has appeared in Beauty and the Beast (2017), Ricki and the Flash (2015), Best Thief in the World (2004), It Runs in the Family (2003), Cradle Will Rock (1999), The Object of My Affection (1998), and Seven Servants by Daryush Shokof which was her film acting debut in (1996).

McDonald played Mother Abbess in the 2013 NBC live television production of The Sound of Music Live!.

Since 2012, McDonald has served as host for the PBS series Live From Lincoln Center, for which she shared an Emmy Award for Outstanding Special Class Program with the show's producers.

Personal life

McDonald married bassist Peter Donovan in September 2000. They have one daughter, Zoe Madeline Donovan, named after McDonald's close friend and Master Class co-star Zoe Caldwell. McDonald and Donovan divorced in 2009. She married Will Swenson on October 6, 2012. On October 19, 2016, they became parents to a girl, Sally James McDonald-Swenson.

McDonald attended Joan Rivers' funeral in New York on September 7, 2014, where she sang "Smile".

McDonald lives in Croton-on-Hudson, New York.

Discography

Solo recordings

Way Back to Paradise (Nonesuch, 1998)

How Glory Goes (2000)

Happy Songs (2005)

Build a Bridge (2006)

Go Back Home (2013)

Featured recordings

Dawn Upshaw Sings Rodgers & Hart – duet on "Why Can't I?" (1996)

Leonard Bernstein's New York – duet with Mandy Patinkin on "A Little Bit in Love" and "Tonight" (1996)

George and Ira Gershwin: Standards and Gems – sings "How Long Has This Been Going On?" (1998)

George Gershwin: The 100th Birthday Celebration – sings Porgy and Bess selections (1998)

Myths and Hymns – sings "Pegasus" (1999)

My Favorite Broadway: The Leading Ladies – sings "The Webber Love Trio" (1999)

Broadway In Love – sings "You Were Meant For Me" from The Object of My Affection (2000)

Broadway Cares: Home for the Holidays – sings "White Christmas" (2001)

Bright Eyed Joy: The Songs Of Ricky Ian Gordon – sings "Daybreak in Alabama" (2001)

Zeitgeist – sings "Think Twice" (2005)

The Wonder of Christmas with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir (2004)

Barbara Cook at the Met – sings "When Did I Fall In Love?" and "Blue Skies" (2006)

Jule Styne in Hollywood – sings "10,432 Sheep" (2006)

Sondheim: The Birthday Concert – sings Too Many Mornings and The Glamorous Life (2010)

Stages – duet on "If I Loved You", 2014

Cast recordings

Carousel (1994 Broadway Revival Cast Recording) (1994)

Ragtime (Original Cast Recording) (1998)

I Was Looking at the Ceiling and Then I Saw the Sky by John Adams (Studio Cast Recording) (1998)

Wonderful Town (Berlin Cast Recording) (1999)

Marie Christine (Original Cast Recording) (1999)

Sweeney Todd Live at the New York Philharmonic (2000)

Dreamgirls in Concert (2001 Concert Cast Recording) (released February 2002)

Wonderful Town (Studio Recording) (2005)

110 in the Shade (2007 Broadway Revival Cast Recording) (2007)

Rise and Fall of the City of Mahagonny (Concert Cast Recording) (2007)

Rodgers & Hammerstein's Allegro (First Complete Recording) (2009)

The Gershwins' Porgy and Bess (New Broadway Cast Recording) (2012)

Lady Day at Emerson's Bar and Grill (Original Broadway Cast Recording) (2014)

Video recordings

Audra McDonald – Live at the Donmar London, VHS (1999)

My Favorite Broadway: The Leading Ladies("The Webber Love Trio"), DVD & CD (1999)

Bernstein – Wonderful Town with Kim Criswell, Thomas Hampson, Wayne Marshall, Simon Rattle, and Berlin Philharmonic, DVD (2005)

The Wonder of Christmas with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir and Orchestra at Temple Square, DVD (2005)

Weill – Rise and Fall of the City of Mahagonny, DVD (2007)

Sondheim! The Birthday Concert, Blu-ray DVD (2010)

Audio books

Alice Walker, By The Light of My Father's Smile (1998)

Connie Briscoe, A Long Way From Home (1999)

Rita Dove, Second-Hand Man (2003)

Wikipedia

[alzindiana]

Indy resident honors mom’s love of quilting through The Longest Day

Indianapolis resident Dr. Tony Jean Dickerson is raising funds and awareness through The Longest Day in honor of her mother. Below, in her own words, is her touching story.

If you would like to participate in The Longest Day, register at alz.org/TheLongestDay or contact Jennifer Lovell Buddenbaum at jlbuddenbaum@alz.org or 317.587.2208, ext. 1530. 

My mother, Linda Edwards Lee, succumbed to Alzheimer’s on March 1, 2019. She was diagnosed with dementia and simultaneously began dialysis in November of 2010. For most of that time I was her primary caregiver and we lived in Kansas City, MO. There were people who stayed in the home with her during the day, sat at dialysis with her, and just came by the house to provide support. As the disease progressed, I decided to move her back to Indianapolis, IN and closer to my nuclear family in 2017.

When I helped establish a sewing guild the following year, our members honored her through activities that involved her love of quilting. As a cornerstone of our guild, we choose an organization to give back to as part of our social justice and service focus. For 2020, we created a “Forget Me Not” quilt that was designed by Jenny Doan of the Missouri Star Quilt Company in honor of her late mother-in-law who succumbed to Alzheimer’s. The purple flower template was inspired by the Promise Garden flowers featured in the annual Walk to End Alzheimer’s®, which my mother’s grandchildren have participated in several times.

The quilt was created at our Annual Retreat in June 2020, and once completed we partnered with Crimson Tate Quilt Shop to advertise an online raffle benefiting the Alzheimer’s Association. Through a posting on Instagram, I was approached by Jennifer Lovell Buddenbaum, manager of The Longest Day for the Alzheimer’s Association Greater Indiana Chapter, about fundraising through that program. This partnership will garner more exposure for the raffle, thus bringing in more funds for the organization that has taken up the mantle to help eradicate this debilitating disease. I recommend those that can to partner with the Greater Indiana Chapter to participate in “The Longest Day.” The creative parameters in which you can participate are only as limited as your group’s imagination. The personalized activities serve to further honor the life’s work and impact of the people that we love. If you need guidance, Buddenbaum will offer suggestions to help you get started and maximize your fundraising.

Over the years, I shared my journey with my Momma and the impact that dementia and Alzheimer’s had on our lives. Below are several Facebook postings that I shared with family and friends about our journey. One of the last posts was a little less than a year before she died. I cried writing them. I cried again today re-reading them. I miss my Momma. All of her. The part of her that celebrated me in that irrational way that mommas do about their children. I miss her creativity and her sassiness and her decisiveness. I miss her hugs and her kisses and her dancing. But in all that is lost, what is left is my opportunity to honor her; to lift up her example of struggle and triumph so that others can find the same in their situations. In that way she’s still right here. Until we meet again.

Facebook Posts:

May 12, 2018

Love Letter to my Momma: Each day I try to give my Momma a thousand kisses. Each day I try to sing, "I'll Always Love My Momma" to her. I have worked through years of anger, frustration, pain and hurt about her dementia. I am now at acceptance. My Momma is NOT her dementia. Each day I look for her smile and her "NOWness." I enjoy who she is NOW. I enjoy fighting with Vickie Powell over her affection for us. I enjoy telling her to stop giving all of my kisses to Alnita Lee. I enjoy seeing Kingston knock her over because he wants to be near her. Or Butter and Biskit at her feet waiting for her to drop them some food. I enjoy laughing at how Vanita Powell can't get her to do anything! LOL I enjoy her "Everydayness." I don't take for granted that so many in my circle of family and friends don't have their Momma. I will not live one day of regret later because I didn't spend the time with her now. She is my heartbeat. I love everything about her. Unconditionally. And I know she loves me back. She tells me a thousand times a day. Happy Mother's Day, Momma!

December 3, 2016

This is going to be long. But it's for me anyway....

So my mother has dementia. This means that she is not the same person she was before. She is different. Quite a bit different. We are both different because of it. I think her dementia scares a lot of people. I think it scares a lot of people who love her. She doesn't remember everything and everybody. Hell she doesn't remember my name on a daily basis. She calls me "Momma." Sometimes she calls me "brother." Yesterday she kept calling me "Lee." But most days she says in the most "matter of fact way" I have ever heard, "I love you, Tony." She says it so matter of fact that it quickens my spirit. It's so true. It's so real. When she says it, all of the fear--most of the fear-- that she won't remember me one day goes away. I rest in that truth.

Her grandson William Duncan talks to her 2-3 times a week. She says about the same thing. "When will I see you again?" She doesn't always remember exactly what his name is. Sometimes she calls him "Jim-bo!" I don't know who that is. And Man just laughs. Other times she tells him, "I know who you are." And she knows exactly who he is. And they laugh together, and she asks, "When are you coming to see me again?"

Dementia doesn't follow a "way it is" kinda plan. As soon as she's written off as "Oh! poor thing she has dementia" she astounds us all. The other week my sista-friend Donna and I were reminiscing about family and life. Momma says something like, "Yeah, but we've had really good lives." Donna and I look at each other and celebrate the moment.

When my brother James and my sister-in-law were getting on the road we asked Momma to pray. She was known for her really loooong drawn-out prayers! She didn't pray immediately. We held our breath. Maybe she didn't exactly understand how to do it anymore. As soon as I decided that I would lead the prayer, she began, "Dear Heavenly Father I thank you for my family...." We shouted! Momma was still "there."  

Many don't call her. I have come to believe that it is out of fear. Vickie Powell calls literally everyday. They talk an average of 1.5 minutes. I'm sure that she's afraid, too. But she calls.

Hell, I'm afraid. I see her slipping away. As a matter of fact, "she" has already left the building. If anyone is looking for "that" Linda Lee that used to reside at 3602 Emerson in Indianapolis, IN, she has left the building. But...

The Linda Lee that is kind and loving and funny and witty...yes, even witty (in a really racy sort of way) is still here. She's here. And you're missing out on HER. I am happy that the dementia is kinda acting as a cushion for her. She doesn't lament over who isn't calling her and checking in with her. She doesn't know. I know. And I feel bad that you're missing out.

This thing called dementia has changed my life. In a weird, twisted, odd way I am a better person for it. I once described having to care for her as a "good hard." It is what it is and so much more. Momma has dementia, but she's so much more than just an old woman with dementia. So very much more.

September 24, 2016

So now my Momma is calling me "Momma" almost 100% of the time. Of course my rational mind knows that her dementia is the genesis of this. But my emotional mind is fighting and I keep demanding that she call me Tony. I am fearful that the day she can no longer do that will be the day that I "lose my momma." #grieving

April 13, 2014

Most of you who know and love me know that my Momma has dementia. I have learned so much from this experience. I was at first angry and lost because she is not the mother who raised me. However, I am not exactly the daughter she raised either. I have learned to accept the Tony that has grown to be me based on all of my education, travels, encounters, and experiences. So I have learned to love my "new" Momma. She has taught me patience and "nowness." When she asks me where she's going to sleep tonight, I no longer flinch; I answer her question. When she says "good morning" to me 100 times a day, I say "good morning" back. We go to the movies. She doesn't remember what she has seen five minutes after we leave the theater. Hell, half the time neither do I! She is an expert cook who hasn't boiled an egg in two years. I thank her for cooking me a complete meal: meat, veggies, bread, AND dessert--every day of my life I lived with her before going off to college and years beyond that. I've changed my perspective of things. Just a paradigm shift that continues to give me "peace beyond my understanding." So today's word is "perspective." Some say the cup is half full....my cup runneth over.

[haltandcatchfiretothemax]

Donna, every single year, with a broad smile: Hey! Remember that birthday where I went to COMDEX to find and reconnect with you, and you told me that I shouldn’t have bothered because you didn’t want to see me ever again?

Cameron, every single year, overwhelmed by regret even though she knows Donna is just messing with her: yeah but I went and found you the next day?! And I also eventually married you, come ON

[haltandcatchfiretothemax]

“In the Scottish Isles, they hold a festival on the coldest day of the year. The townspeople dress up in Viking costumes and compete in squads, drinking and singing and dancing...finally at midnight they march up to a huge wooden ship in the town square.”

“...then what?”

-- Halt and Catch Fire (2014-2017) season 1, episode 9: “Up Helly Aa”

(dir. Terry McDonough)

[haltandcatchfiretothemax]

Today Cameron and Donna are at their home in Mountain View

where they are relaxing after getting home from making contact-free visits to both Haley and Joanie, who are of course harried moms themselves by now

[haltandcatchfiretothemax]

Today, Cameron and Donna are at their home in Mountain View

[CN: Halt and Catch Fire season 4 spoilers - major character death, food/eating]

Where so far, they’ve had a quiet but comfortable day, that has included

sleeping in and canoodling

huddling under a blanket together and tearfully but happily processing a lot of feelings and traumas that came up for the both of them around various things (Cameron’s dad, Cameron’s mom, both of their divorces, Donna’s parent’s unrelenting shittiness to Gordon, concerns about the girls’ happiness, etc)  while watching Happiest Season (2020) the night before

an overwrought and stupidly indulgent brunch

brief, contact-free visits from both Joanie and her family and Haley, her partner, and their daughter (Donna: “sometimes living in a glass house pays off!”)

preparing and enjoying a small feast of comfort foods (turkey pot pie! biscuits and gravy! mac and cheese! green bean casserole! ) together, followed by more canoodling

[haltandcatchfiretothemax]

FEMSLASH FEBRUARY 2021 #10: In which Cameron tries to spoil Donna

[CN: food and eating mentions]

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.

In January of 2021, Donna realized and voiced the obvious while watching television one day: “We’re really not gonna be able to have people over for Galentine’s Day, are we?”

Cameron didn’t always entirely enjoy the spectacle or debauchery that sometimes happened at Donna’s Galentine parties, but she was still sorry that it wouldn’t be safe or advisable to celebrate that year. Gently, she replied, “Not considering a Galentine’s video conference, then?”

“I guess I could do that,” Donna sighed heavily. “It won’t be the same though. And we won’t be able to give out gift bags!” she wailed. 

Donna looked forward to organizing a party for February 13 every year, but her favorite part of Galentine’s Day had always been making and giving gift bags filled with expensive indulgences to their friends, and Cameron had never really understood it. It was, in fact, one of the very few things that Cameron didn’t love about Donna, and she wasn’t sure why it bothered her. Donna certainly had the money for it, and what better way to spend your money than on giving nice things to your friends? But no matter how hard she tried, Cameron just couldn’t shake her discomfort with the gross materialism of it. 

Still, Cameron tried to be encouraging. “You could send care packages, couldn’t you?”

Donna thought about it for a moment, and then said, “Putting all that strain on the postal service just so I can send my friends expensive scented candles and handmade journals?” Her face collapsed into a look of utter despair at the very thought. “That just feels so ‘let them eat cake,’ doesn’t it?”

“You are not a naive and undereducated young queen who was bamboozled into inheriting a bankrupt and rapidly disintegrating monarchy,” Cameron said, patting Donna’s hand comfortingly. “And you’re also not a nameless, possibly non-existent princess in a non-fiction work by Jean-Jacques Rousseau, or Maria-Teresa, the Spanish princess who might have actually said that.”

With a bemused smile, Donna said, “I love that you just know that.”

“Yeah, well.” Cameron said, putting an arm around Donna. “Just because I have a reputation for being a princess-hater doesn’t mean that I actually hate them. I mean, look at who I married.”

“Cameron Howe, Defender of Princesses,” Donna said. “That has a ring to it? I’ll have to make you head of my queensguard when I inherit the throne.”

Cameron arched an eye brow at Donna. “Are you trying to tell me that you wanna play exiled gay princess and devoted butch lady knight?”

Finally and fully distracted from her galentine’s day disappointment, Donna laughed. And then she kissed Cameron.

***

Cameron got out of bed late that night and went downstairs for two hours. When she returned, Donna woke up briefly, and she said, “Hey? You okay? Where’d you go?”

“Never you mind,” Cameron said, getting under the covers. “I was making you some brioche to throw at the peasants.” 

“What?” Donna cried. Then she realized that Cameron was kidding and giggled. “Okay, okay. Keep your secrets.”

Curling up next to Donna, Cameron kissed her shoulder. Resting her head on her pillow, she said, “Good night, sleep tight, your royal highness.”

“Likewise, good Sir Cameron!” Donna said, falling back to sleep.

***

In early February, while Cameron worked on the requested Valentine’s Day decorations, Donna tried to come up with an alternate Galentine plan. She filled out cards and sent them early, and then she sent messages to everyone on her guest list to see if they might have time for individual video chats. She wound up scheduling early morning coffee with Tanya, an afternoon check in with Dr. Katie Herman, and cocktail hour with Risa and her partner, and also Cameron. She spent the next few days trying to come up with ‘something else.’ When she finally resorted to mopily looking through all of their saved and archived photos of past Galentine’s Day parties, she figured it out. 

Cameron woke up on the 13th to an email from Donna. While Donna fried eggs and bacon and poured mixed berry waffles, Cameron, sitting at the kitchen island, looked at her phone, and asked, “Did you email me this morning?”

“You, and many of our friends!” Donna chirped. 

Flatly, Cameron said, “If it’s a severed head, I’m gonna be very upset.” She clicked on the email with her thumb to read it.

The email said, “To my favorite galentine: while we can’t celebrate with our friends this year, we can give to others, and we also absolutely need to give as much as we can spare during this on-going crisis. So while I do love giving ridiculously priced candles and pens to our friends, this year, my gift is a donation in your name to Girls Who Code.” The closing of the email said, “With any luck we’ll be able to celebrate with our friends next year, but in the meantime: Happy Galentine’s Day! -xo DC.” 

And then at the very end of the email, there was an attachment, a photo of Cameron and Donna in the kitchen, preparing snacks, that Haley had taken at their first Galentine’s Day gathering. 

Cameron stared at the photo for a minute, and then asked, “Wait, did you make donations for everyone?”

“Yes, yes I did,” Donna said, as she opened the waffle iron. “To different places though, food banks, abortion funds and domestic violence support groups, bail funds, and Black and indigenous justice orgs.”

Overwhelmed by a rush of affection toward her wife, Cameron said, “I think that that was a great way to celebrate. Nice work, Boss.”

Donna’s blushed as she made their plates. “Thank you! I just hope it helps, somehow. Sometimes it all feels futile, you know? It feels less futile when you bring all your friend into it and then email them about it, though!”

They ate breakfast, and then before Donna could say anything else, Cameron said, “Okay, so, I’ve done something. Something that was meant to help cheer you up.”

“Oh?” Donna asked, intrigued.

Cameron got up from her seat, went around the island, and took Donna’s hand. Donna got up, and Cameron escorted her their living room couch, where Cameron had placed two large red gift bags. “You always said that everyone opening their gift bags together was your favorite part of all of this, so. I made two bags for us. It’s not the same as all of our friends opening our git bags together, but, it’s something?”

“Oh, Cam,” Donna frowned. “I love the pseudo but not-quite Gift of the Magi vibes, but, you didn’t have to do this.”

“I know I didn’t, but everything sucks so I figured why not,” Cameron said, picking up her bag and sitting down on the couch. Come on! Sit!” She picked up Donna’s bag, and handed it to her. 

Donna accepted the bag from her. She looked at it, and then said, “If this is a severed head, I’m also gonna be very upset.” 

“It’s not, it’s a gun rack,” Cameron deadpanned. “For the last time, sit, already!”

Donna sat down next to her, and with the bag in her lap, she started to pull out the pink tissue paper Cameron had crumped and stuffed into the top. “Okay, so what have we got first?” Donna reached into the bag, and pulled out a small plastic bottle. “Scented moisturizing hand sanitizer!”

“The white vetiver scent,” Cameron said, holding hers up. “I didn’t like it at first, but you were right, as always. Now it’s my favorite.”

“A luxurious yet practical item, and a fine choice!” Donna enthused. “What’s next?” She reached into the bag, and pulled out a large tube of aloe-infused hand cream. “Ah, an old standby, and another Emerson-Howe household staple.”

Looking at the tube that been in her bag, Cameron said, “I wanted to go with something fancy, but this stuff just works so well! I feel like we can never have enough of it.”

Reaching into her bag again, Donna felt some plastic wrap, and then pulled out a black and blush pink leopard print 100% silk face mask, packaged with its own silk case.

Cameron looked at her own navy blue and star patterned mask, and admitted, “This is the biggest splurge in here. But as long as we’re double masking….”

With a small sigh, Donna reached into her bag again, and found a set of silk scrunchies, with the same leopard print as her mask. “Oh, I was thinking about trying these! Thank you for remembering me talking about it.”

“What kind of partner would I be if I didn’t buy you the one thing you single thing you put off buying for yourself?” Cameron said. “You can try mine, too, I don’t think I’ll end up using them.”

Donna reached into the bottom of the bag, and found the next to last item, a small cardboard box. When she looked at it, it was a fresh tube of her favorite nude pink lipstick, which she’d been wearing since the late ‘90s, and had been meaning to repurchase. 

“I just got a drugstore lip balm for myself, nude rose is your color, not mine,” Cameron said.

Donna snorted. “That was probably the best way to handle it. Thank you for knowing my color.”

“That’s the end of what’s in my bag!” Cameron said. “There’s one more thing in your bag though, because we only need one.”

Donna found the last item. A copy of the Criterion release of Portrait of a Lady on Fire, Donna held it up and said, “Oh…as I recall, you liked this movie better than I did!”

“Yes,” Cameron agreed, “but, you said that you liked it, and that you wanted to try watching it again at home. Which I thought we could maybe do sometime this month.”

Donna smiled at her. “Honestly, I would love that. It’s a date.”

Donna was about to lean in and kiss Cameron to properly thank her, when her phone, forgotten in the kitchen, rang.

“Ack, that’s probably Tanya!” Donna jumped up. “We’re supposed to ‘have coffee’ together!” 

“Go answer, then!” Cameron said. “I can clean this up and I can take care of the dishes, too.” 

“This was perfect and I love you!” Donna hurriedly kissed her, before rushing off. Already half way to the kitchen, she called out, “Happy Galentine’s Day!” behind her.

“Hard same, have fun, tell Tanya I say hi!” Cameron shouted after her.

[haltandcatchfiretothemax]

Headcanon that Donna gets into the yearly habit of having a small Pride after-party at her house

[CN: drinking, food, partying]

Donna of course loves long days of celebrating in the city, but Cameron doesn’t, and becomes anxious when she’s in a large, noisy, active crowd, and Haley doesn’t really love partying either, so, Donna comes up with a compromise: she gets up early and heads out to the march (with Joanie, when she’s in the Bay) for the noon step off, and then goes back home, to have a late afternoon/early evening celebration at her and Cameron’s house.

Fully amenable, Cameron is in her tropical print trunks and an ACT UP tank top that Donna bought for her and has the pool area ready, and snacks and drinks ready to go by the time Donna gets back to the house, every single year

She also makes sure that the guest room is presentable, and that the airstream is habitable, because there are usually at least a few guests who party a little too hard and need to stay for the night

Lev and his husband and Risa and her partner always show up, and they bring more drinks, ice, and rainbow-themed decorations, and Haley and Vanessa bring over their friends and stay late, and they all tell their best pride-related anecdotes so that Cameron can vicariously enjoy their parade-day hijinks

They order in and feast on tacos and fajitas from their favorite local pan Latin fusion restaurant that is also a gay bar, that always celebrates pride and has regular drag events all year round, and there is always a lot of music, all pop and dance from ‘70s disco to ‘90s electro clash and anything by Gossip, dj-ed by Cameron and Haley so that they don’t have to participate in the epic amount of dancing that takes place

It is by far the rowdiest annual event at the Emerson Howe household, and there is always that one woman that marches over to complain even though Donna is an exemplary neighbor, until one year when Donna, in a pair of Daisy Dukes and rainbow bikini top, and Lev’s husband, dressed entirely in leather, answer the door and invite her to join them

Cameron never says so because she doesn’t want to ruin her reputation for being an introvert who doesn’t like parties, but it is by far her favorite of the events she and Donna host. It’s like going to pride without actually having to go out or feel self-conscious about seeing public displays of affection that make her regret how she spent her 20s, and feel like she’s a weirdo outlier even amongst other lgbt people. Even when she too parties a little too hard, she’s always in a good mood the next day, and happy to make huevos rancheros for everyone that morning.

[haltandcatchfiretothemax]

FEMSLASH FEBRUARY 2018 21/28: In which Haley gets into graduate school, and Cameron grapples with regret

After graduating from CalTech with a degree in Applied Mathematics, and two years at a start up (during the second of which she lived at home with Cameron and Donna), Haley comes downstairs for Sunday brunch and says, "I have news. It's good news, but it's big news." Donna suppresses the urge to make a joke about how she already came out to them, and Haley says, "I applied to a doctoral program at MIT and I got in. I'm moving to Massachusetts in August."

Cameron and Donna are speechless for a minute, before Donna says, "I thought you wanted to be a math professor!" Haley shrugs, "I think everyone who likes being a student thinks that they want to teach. Honestly though, after seeing what professors are really like, especially with grad students, in the math department at school? Yeah, no thanks. I figured I'd just do free lance web design or something. But then I read that MIT has an Institute for Data, Systems, and Society, and I thought, 'That's kind of software and hardware, so it's perfect.' I applied at the last minute, I can't believe I got in."

Donna looks at Cameron, shocked, struggling to breathe, and then turns back to Haley and says, "I have so much practice at being proud of you, why do I feel like I'm having some kind of cardiac event?! I need to sit down…." Gently, Cameron says, "You are sitting down, boss. Here," she hands Donna glass of water, and starts fanning her with a napkin.

After brunch, Haley calls Joe, the only person she'd told she was applying (though that stays between them). "I knew you could do it," he says. And then, mischievously, "Are they freaking out?" Haley snorts, "Cameron just asked my mom if she thinks she'll need the smelling salts and my mom got annoyed at her." Joe laughs, and says, "I can only imagine how happy they must be." It gets quiet, and Haley says, "You can say it. I'm ready." Joe takes a deep breath, and says, "Your dad would be so proud of you. And I'm sure he'd feel honored by your interest in network architecture." "That was the idea. Kind of," Haley nods. For a few minutes, neither of them say anything, they just stay there on the line together.

That summer, Donna throws a dinner party at one of Haley's favorite fancy Mexican restaurants to celebrate. During the first round of drinks, Simon asks, "So what's the name of the program?" "It's the Ph.D. program in Social and Engineering Systems," Donna beams. Just as encouragingly, Simon asks, "And what do you intend to do there?" "I intend to address my and other peoples' growing concerns about accessibility. And also corporate interests, net neutrality, and maybe how hate groups use the internet. I don't know, maybe I'll even eventually try to get involved at the policy level? I don't really know how that works, I've never had to…." Vanessa snorts, "And she finally starts to own her privilege," a joke that only they, Joanie, and Haley's girlfriend find funny.

Simon is about to ask another question when Haley says, "I'm just worried about the infrastructure, you know? I mean, you and Dad, you all worked so hard to build the internet, to build on its backbone, but does that matter if people can't get to it, or afford it? It would be such a waste." When she looks up and sees that her mom, Cameron, Joe, and Simon all have tears in their eyes, she says, "What? Did I say something?" When none of them are able to respond, she continues, "I put all of that in my application, and I wrote about Comet, and also Cardiff, and Mutiny, and Calnect, and Symphonic." Simon grins, "Full disclosure of your family's interests and involvement in the industry, work experience, and your personal investment. I like it, and the admissions board did too, obviously."

Joe excuses himself to go and have an ugly cry by the restaurant's restrooms, and Simon and Donna start to tease Haley about possibly going over from software to the 'dark side' of hardware. But when Donna says, "Software comes and goes…" and no one seems to hear her, and Gordon isn't there to say, "But hardware is forever," she also excuses herself to go to the restroom and sob.

She and Joe both cry, and then, a few minutes later, Cameron finds them, and says, "I'm the only one here who's crying because I didn't finish school, does that make me a terrible person?" Joe and Donna both laugh uproariously, grateful for the distraction, and for Cameron’s lovable ridiculousness.

Later that night, in bed, Cameron asks Donna, "Okay but what if I went to graduate school?" Trying to sound delicate and instead sounding closer to patronizing, Donna says, "But you left before you finished your bachelor's, remember, honey?" Miserably, Cameron says, "So I'd have to do a four-year degree first? And gen eds?!" Guiltily, Donna says, "I'd kind of like to see that." When Cameron shoots her a look of outrage, Donna says, "Also a possibility, maybe one day you'll get an honorary degree. And then you don't have to do the work!"

Pulling the covers up to her chin, Cameron says, "What if I want to do the work though? The gen eds could be nice, I could learn about something besides computers." Then she says, "Or I don't know, do you think maybe I could show a department my resume and that they'd just, you know…accept that in lieu of a degree?" With great affection, Donna says, "In a just world, you'd be able to get into the school of your choice based on Pilgrim alone."

Curling up next to Donna, Cameron says, "I'm glad I dropped out. Really. It's how I met you. But I still get sad when I think about how I dropped out because Joe noticed me. I needed that more than I needed a degree. Or that's how it felt." Donna puts an arm around Cameron. Cameron closes her eyes, and says, "God, Haley is so smart, she has so many ideas and viewpoints and questions, that's why she got into the program. I don't know if I have any ideas like that, maybe I should just stick to code."

Softly, Donna says, "I don't think that's true. The girl who made my husband rearrange his motherboard so she could write a BIOS that talks to you like it's your friend had viewpoints. And the young woman who made Pilgrim when everyone else was making first person shooters, which she did ten years before that, if you'll recall, she had ideas and viewpoints and questions. If you wanna go back to school, Cameron, you should go. I will support you, no matter what. I'll buy Berkeley a new library if that's what it takes." She pictures an ivy-covered brick building with a sign out front that reads "The Donna Emerson Library for LGBTQ Literature and Studies Into how Lesbians Invented Romance".

"What if I steal Haley's math professor idea? I love math," Cameron sighs dreamily. "You could, you would probably be a very popular professor, and there would probably be many students of all genders with crushes on you," Donna says. Cameron grimaces, "Or maybe I'll just stay a college dropout." "But you'll be my dropout," Donna whispers. "My dropout, flung out of Austin Tech." Cameron laughs, and soon thereafter falls asleep, no longer worried about whether or not she should go back to school.