#Happy Hanukkah as well... don't know when but figured

[bookishtheaterlover7]

Hi all one of bookies friends here.

Everyone needs to calm down

Look at the facts.

Video- showed her without ANY ring a lot

Video-could he be anymore obvious with his left

hand.

Everytime he does or has something come out she does something. This time she shot herself in the hand twice.

And no I no longer find Chris attractive. If your team real i dont care. I just dont like seeing my friends on here who are team or get all worked up bwcause its nothing. It is for nothing we've, proven its fake.

How many holes can you put into a hot air balloon before it can't fly anymore?

To the GP (genaral public) they are married so right after all it was exposed the rings are fake. teams are gunna have to do or try and do clean up for a while. We knew this was going to happen. I expect to see shit about one flying here or the other flying there or they both fly to meet each other. I mean how many roumers in 2 days can start about who is where? It just

makes it look worse and more comical. A real couple wouldnt do damage control at all. Just because a website publishes an article doesn't mean it's a website that reports news or the truth. Remember People mag, US weekly etc is are still mags they use click bait. Don't freak out everytime you hear a rumor that she flew here or did this or that . The fact is its been de bunked disproven if they choose to continue on with the PR BS thats on them a lot of fans are not playing along any more. Im.not playjng along anymore im done with it. I saw a post in instagram that sums everything us well it said

"I am on team PR. But if he wants people

to believe he's with her, then we should

just leave him to it. It's true he owes

us nothing but we also don't owe him

our support anymore."

What point is there to get upset or nervous or anxious over something just because there a rumor about a plane ride. If you wanna believe theres a plane ride maybe its to sign a new contract that this shit is over.

You know its fake i know its fake. And you know what they showed they were gifts from cartier. Maybe her team would shse poney up the money to get cz versions. Frankly it would be even funnier.

We dont owe chris anything.

If you feel silly or stupid or being duped by thibking he was a better man than he is dont be, everyone was. It only goes to show the man could've had awards by now if he picked better scripts

Clean up is gunna happen. WE HAVE SEEN IT. the less you play into it the faster itll be over with.

But dont let this distract you or upset you from a joyus holiday season or take away any happiness you're experiencing or could be experiencing. Focus on something positive and happy. At the very least i saw a blog with a debate about who qas hotter Sam or Castiel. Now THAT is some shit worth arguing about. Not an airheaded Nazi

Thank you, my dear An🫶n.

Honestly, this is a serious wakeup call to a lot. That ring debacle/exposure is something to note, and it could be the sign to many of being done.

And if they aren't, well, I'm happy to partially become the blog that becomes a nostalgic stop for old Chris, Chris Evans before he was a shit person in a shit relationship with a shit person, and Chris Evans Characters Appreciation and absolute SIMPING!!! Oh, and the occasional Albitch hate post, because I still hate her 😆

I'm even thinking it's time to add more Fandoms to my roster. Marvel characters are high on that list. So are book discussions, because I am enjoying that as well 😁

We'll see. The world is my oyster now, especially with that big bomb that fell into our laps, as well as the fact I'm on break and about to undergo the busiest month of my life!!!

It's going to be filled with holiday cheer, family love, Christmas shopping, reconnecting with everyone, and focusing on improving the one love that came back a few months ago, after years... Writing 😊

So, my beautiful weirdos, can we PLEASE take steps towards something new? I think we could use some respite after months, maybe even years of PR Debunking Hell... 🫶

Also, there are certain topics that I don't want to be discussed on here. Because I don't feel comfortable being in the middle of any debate whatsoever (you can ask my dearest friends on here, they know I hate politics and avoid discussing, and eventually debating it, as much as possible). Until my next post, Beloveds 🤗

[wonderlandleighleigh]

pretty please, with cherries on top, can we get a continuation of that very sad fic 🥺🥺🥺🥺

please?

"Let me guess," a familiar voice says from Lenny's right.

He'd left Kitty with his mother at their hotel, and gone for a drink because holy hell has he had a day.

And the last thing he wanted was to run into Midge's asshole of an ex-husband, but here they are at the same bar.

"Please don't," Lenny mutters.

"Midge, right?" Joel asks. "What'd she do now? She tromp all over your ability to make your own decisions? Decided it was time to fix you?"

Lenny just sips his drink.

"Let me tell ya, pal, you're better off getting out now, because she's never gonna change," Joel tells him. "She's always gonna be self-centered and she's always gonna put her own shit first."

Lenny takes another sip, thinking that over. What did Midge really stand to gain from having his mother daughter fly out? It's two more people to feed for Hanukkah dinner. It's two more people to awkwardly introduce to her already insane family.

Sure, she's been wanting to meet Ma and Kitty. She's made no secret about the fact that she wants to get to know them beyond the stories Lenny tells.

The only thing Midge would really have gained from going to the trouble of booking flights and hotels and setting up a big surprise was that she thought it would make him happy.

He rubs his eyes. "Shit."

"I warned you," Joel shakes his head. "I told you when you started seeing her you were gonna be totally steamrolled and you'd never have an independent thought ever again."

"Do you ever stop talking?" Lenny snaps, finally turning to the other man. "Is someone here paying you to air your terrible opinions, or do you just get off on this?"

Joel stares at him.

"And could it possibly be that you were miserable with Midge, because you made yourself miserable?" Lenny asks. "That you could have been happy had you opened your mouth and told her you needed things to change? instead of sticking your dick in someone who can't figure out a fucking pencil sharpener?"

"It was new!" Joel cries.

"Push pencil into sharpener! It's literally just like fucking, and she had that down pretty well, apparently!"

"Hey!"

Lenny huffs and pays for his drink quickly before storming out of the bar, catching a cab to the Upper West Side.

[spookyloves-fictionalcharacters]

Doing @ / salsflore's 80+ Selfship questions! (Pt. 1)

what’s something you do to feel closer to them? fanfics, listen to songs, etc.

I love listening to music that reminds me of him. I made a playlist for him, but it could use some updateying lol.. One of my mutuals has a really good playlist of him and I'm a little jealous !!! I also just enjoy looking at art (mainly official art) of him he's so pleasing to look at he makes me happy. Helps to have many photos of him surrounding my room.

how did you get introduced to your f/o and/or their media? do you like their source?

My younger sister was into the game before I was and she played in in front me one day back in April 2021 and safe to say I got pretty hooked on it. We did the voices and played together over the course of 2 days. I didn't know what Dr. Habit looked like until the reveal towards the end and I was ENAMORED!!!

what’s one or two things you especially like about your f/o? can be a headcanon!

HIS EYES ARE VERY PRETTY!!! I also love how he can be a little mean sometimes. Like hell yeah!!! Express those feelings!!! He's also very warm!!! Literally a human weighted blanket!!

what’s one or two things your f/os love about you? ( self positivity time babey )

My laugh and when I smile is what he says about me a lot <3. My sense of humor and the way I see the world are a couple more things too heehee

how do you express your love to them? how do they express their love to you?

I'm more of the gift giving type of lover I'd say! I don't really verbally say "I love you" that much even in real life. I'm like a cat in a way. Boris on the other hand loves saying how much he cares for me through words and actions! Lots of hugs and kisses every day!!

a gift you’d like to give them if you could, and something they’d give to you!

I'd love to give him a Floriography book !!! He probably knows about flower language already but!! Maybe there's stuff he doesn't know yet! I think he would get me some of my special interest related things too! Like skeletons and frogs :-3

what do you celebrate together? like halloween, christmas time, easter, etc.

HALLOWEEN!!!! I love Halloween!!! We both do!! We're already brainstorming costume ideas LOL! For the more wintery holidays, we're gonna celebrate Hanukkah with Habit's uncle + cousins!!!!

do you sleep together? is it peaceful or filled with snoring? do you both stay up? tell us more! ( how you sleep, when you sleep, do you wake up at the same time? )

Obhh I love sleeping with him, he's sooo big and warm and soft. He's the type to fall asleep instantly, me not so much. But, when he's asleep the deep breathing and rise and fall of his chest is so relaxing I usually sleep right after. We both wake up pretty early, but he wakes up at like 6am and he is Awake!

what’s one thing you can’t do well that the other can, vice versa ( e.g cooking, playing video games, so on and so forth )

Well I am not good with shopping for groceries like he is. He's not very good at cooking though unfortunately lol..

do you have similar tastes in fashion? aesthetic? food? tell us about their taste!

We definitely both prefer comfort over looks clothes wise, but it usually leads into accidental good looking fashion (something that tends to happen to me IRL). I don't really have one specific aesthetic? His is just whatever he wants or thinks is interesting, so I guess weirdcore?? Food it's about taste & texture so it's hard for both of us to figure out what each of us likes.

how do they tend to comfort you? how do you tend to comfort them?

To comfort me, he gives really good hugs and reassurances <3. To comfort him I usually lay on him or nuzzle him.

if you have a rival or nemesis f/o, why? are there any lore reasons or is it just because?

I do not have rival F/Os really, I like it when ppl are niceys <33

what are some uncommon headcanons you have for them?

I HC him as Transfem (He/Him & She/Her)!! Not a lot of people do that for that many characters anywhere honestly which makes me sad!!!! I keep switching between him being genderqueer and gendaflooid but I guess I'll let fate decide which one he is

what is your favorite fan theory/headcanon about them?

I think mine has to be that he's autistic cuz it really makes me feel better about also being autistic <:-) AND!! I love it when ppl draw him with dark skin!!! White Boris just does NOT sit right with me !!

if you live together, how’s domestic life like for you both?

I'm not really used to actual domestic life, I've never really had an IRL partner so I have no idea what it's like! It's even hard to imagine cuz I have not had that experience lol..

do you have any scent hcs for them? ( sweet, something like coffee, etc )

There's actually a canon scent he has in the game LMAO, he canonically smells Metallic because of either blood or nitrous gas or BOTH !? But I feel like Post-Habitat he'd never EVER wanna smell like that again, so he smells very Earthy and like he's been outside his whole life. Like rain, like dirt, like flowers, like healing.

is there anything commonly misunderstood about your f/o?

EVERYBODY!!! LOVES TO MAKE HIM THE UWU HEEHEE FUNNY GUY OR RAAHH I'M EVIL AND EDGY BUT HE'S WAY MORE COMPLICATED THAN THAAAT!!!!!!! He's a man who is mentally ill like ACTUALLY mentally ill and people don't take the time to put that into their thoughts about him all that much. He thought he was gonna save the world which is Impossible. He pushed people away, he tricked everyone in the Habitat to even BE there. He's a huge MESS. He's got so many emotions about him if you really REALLY dove deep into what his character was doing in the past, present and future.

one thing you don’t have in common, and one thing you do

I'm short, He's TALL Drawing!! We love drawing !!!

how do you resolve conflicts? how do you both typically react when faced with conflict or whilst dealing with an argument?

Habit has this problem where he makes problems bigger than they are, so I usually try to let him cool off whenever a fight happens and talk to him about it after he's got a clear head. Has worked out for the most part I'd say ! I hate yelling/being yelled at (not really sure if people enjoy that either)

have you met their friends/family? how did that go? do they even keep in contact with their friends/family?

Eeessh not his immediate family they're terrible. But! His uncle and cousins are cool and epic!!!

tell us as much (or as little) as you'd like about any of your self ship lore/bg! the timeline!

So Boris wanted to have a puppet of some kind for the Habitat, but he did not know anything about puppet making for sewing at the time. He found an ad in the paper about a local puppet maker/seamster who did private lessons. He paid A LOT for the lessons to be private One on One sessions, he did not enjoy being around other people at the time.

if they have variations (timelines, skills, voiced languages, etc) which one is your favorite?

Not necessarily a major variation, but my friend Jooj speaks French and he played the French version of Smile For Me and they said Habit's name in French is Dr. Zarbit which is awesome and adorable I love that <3

your favorite outfit/costume of theirs! if they don’t have any official skins or anything, show us something you think they’d look good in!

HEHEBEWHBEEBHWBWHEW These two fits make ravenous

who confessed first and how did it go?

I did~! It went pretty awkwardly because I think he was right about to say his confession before I did so he got flustered heehee

did anyone know about your f/o’s feelings before they confessed? how did they find out?

Kamal for sure. He dated Habit before I did and he knows what his love looks like. Made for a great wingman too !

if you have multiple f/os, do they fit into any “type?” ( e.g coincidentally they’re all smartasses, blonde, villains, etc. lol )

I MADE A POST ABOUT THIS!!! I APPARENTLY LOVE DOCTORS?!?! or at least have a doctorate degree?!

do you have any favorite scenarios you like to imagine your f/os in? ( domestic fluff, angsty, etc. )

Uhhh ummm there are some *cough cough* scenarios I think about a lot, but I shant say :///-)

have you ever thought about ( platonic or not ) marriage? would you consider it a good idea? why or why not?

Y-Yeah I have thought about it, but I don't think either of us are ready yet lol..

^ if you're planning to get married, then tell us all about your wedding! the honeymoon! the planning!

One of my online friends made kandi bracelets for the 2 of us and I'd really love to give him his as a surprise and proposal, but as I said we (especially me) aren't ready yet hmbhbbhnhb. Plus I don't have the bracelets yet ^^;

if you live together, how does your home look like? who decided on the decor?

Probably a mix of whatever my aesthetic is and whatever his aesthetic is with a bunch of indoor plants surrounding each room.

do you, or plan to, have f/o kids? ( pets and plants count! ) bonus: if you have pets, do they show any favoritism?

Pets and Plants count you say :-O!? Well No on the Kids, but there are definitely plants and animals in the house. Habit loves loves loves plants and he would have a garden outside, as well as some sort of atrium inside. Thankfully no pollen producing plants inside because that would get really irritating. For pets we'd have 2 dogs! A King Shepherd and a Borzoi.

what was it like when they first said ‘i love you’? how did you reply? where was it?

It was on accident on his part I think. He was leaving one day at instead of goodbye he said 'I love you!' We both kinda stood there until Boris briskly walked away out of embarrassment.

if you could make one thing 100% canon about them, what would it be?

A voice headcanon I have hbwbhnbw.. But also the autism, even though so many people (including Yugo themself) have that headcanon for him lol !!

how do you kill time with them when bored?

Doodling is usually pretty distracting for both of us. Among...other things bhwbshgwbshg I SHANT SAY !!!!

your favorite thing about your f/o, appearance wise

God...I love just how all of him looks. His eyes, his hair, his smile.. He's just so beautiful <:'-)

your favorite thing about your f/o, non-appearance wise

His creativity and passion! I love how much he draws and paints and constructs(?). I love his sounds too his voice is so deep and beautiful <3

what’s your dynamic like? any tropes you fit?

Really the best way I can describe us is Fluffle Puff & Chrysalis from the Fluffle Puff shorts

the most iconic/memed on/quoted line or event associated with your f/o

"Please. Make them Smile. For Me?" He said the thing !!!!!!!📢️📢️📢️📢️📢️📢️📢️📢️📢️📢️📢️

who’s more likely to be the sappy, cheesy romantic in the relationship?

Boris, I mean if you see him in the game you'd really be able to tell that he's the very silly romantic type (but I love that <33)

who gets flustered the easiest?

BORIS FOR SURE, he can't even handle being kissed by lil ol me :-3c

if you were in an emergency or stressful situation, which one of you’s the best at staying level headed keeping the other calm? who is the one absolutely freaking out?

I have a problem about freaking out a lot (cuz anxiety disorder) so I'd say he'd be the one to try and calm me down. Plus he's got a very calming presence about him. Like a big teddy bear !

what nicknames do you call each other?

He calls me (Nannick) "My little Doll" in Russian which I find to be very endearing !! He also uses various flowers as nicknames for me. I just call him 'sweetie' or say 'hey beautiful!' I'm not too great a nicknames ^^;

with phones or modern au : what would your contact names be?

Mine for Habit would be '🧡️💚️Habby 💚️🧡️' and His for Me would be 'Na ncik 💛️💙️💕️' (his fingers are really big and he cant type very well lolol)

[unforth]

Okay, so, during the holiday season (during which I celebrate Hanukkah, Christmas, and my birthday... in 2022 all within the same 8 days... ) my mom gave me a "I don't know what you want so over the next year just tell me some things you want and I'll pay for them" gift, and I've already cashed that in twice - once for something I'll scream about excessively whenever it finally gets here (I have. no idea when that'll be. I just checked Amiami and it says "processing shipping," whatever the fuck that means.) The other time was to put in an order from @shandian-go's in-stock sale (which appears to be closed again?). The "must have" item that got me to make that purchase was 2ha Vol. 3 Chinese, which I wanted no matter what (and which I've already posted a little about the extras, but I'll gather them all some time and take pics, it came with SO MUCH STUFF ASFADFADG).

But if I'm already getting stuff, might as well get more, right? So I went through the rest and ordered a few things. The expensive parts were actually not for me - a book a friend wanted, and a birthday gift I'll also send to that same friend. But I treated myself to some lucky bags, because like... there's always a lot of merch that I like but don't love enough to pay the premium on "I MUST HAVE THAT SPECIFIC THING." I figured if I got a random assortment, odds were high I'd be entirely happy with everything in that random assortment, and it'd be cheaper than picking out specific individual items.

That order arrived nice and quick, since it was all things that were already with Mel in Canada, and yeah I was right, I'm happy with my lucky bags. I got three - one for TGCF, one for 2ha, and one for "all priest excelt TYK/SHL" (mine ended up containing two Guardian things, a SPL thing, and a Mo Du thing, which is about perfect since the fourth fandom option was Lie Huo Jiao Chou, which I'm least familiar with of the four).

Since they arrived (several weeks ago) I've been, uh. Savoring? Because I'm super busy and don't have time to really enjoy but just. poking at the box for a few minutes every few days has really helped keep my mood up.

Today I stole a few minutes to really start going through things, though. So, here's my TGCF lucky bag! A cute Hualian key chain of Hua Cheng comforting Xie Lian, a pretty pin, an adorable Xie Lian wedding chibi standee, and that gorgeous soldier Hua Cheng/God Please Crown Prince Xie Lian art.

As expected, I am utterly satisfied with this purchase. I'm gonna add the key chain to my keys today (where it'll join the Hualian chibi key chains I bought from ShanGo last year), and I really need to finish the quilt I've been working on specifically as a place to hang pins so I can hang the pin.

Whenever I next feel like I can ask mom for a little money, it'll be this - https://koonbooks.com/products/global-examination-chinese-comic?_pos=2&_sid=a2e0144e2&_ss=r. Which has been on my list for months and was what I wanted next no matter what, but has definitely gained a lot more urgency since I started reading the book, lmao. Now I want it like air. Probably over the summer...

(I also just today got a shipping due notice from ShanGo? I have. no idea what it's for, oops. I thought my only outstanding order was the Yanshen plushies but my memory is shot idek. God, this makes it sound like I buy So Much Stuff I swear I don't. With what money would I???)

[loveforpreserumsteve]

A Whole New Ballfield: "ALN" Story (Pre-Serum Omega!Steve and Alpha!Bucky Modern Domestic AU)

Fifteen:

Not unlike most years, Steve was the first to wake. Already the checklist in his head was forming. Knowing – almost by heart – what he needed to do for the first day of Hanukkah. The first thing, of course, was getting a pot of coffee started.

As the heavenly dark roast aroma filled the air as it brewed, Steve began breakfast. The dough had risen beautifully overnight, and Steve was relieved that they'd have plenty. Plenty of sufganiyots for even their big family to have more than enough. Especially for their ever-growing family to have enough. Sure, Ollie would be eating for two, but Kit wasn't known to shy away from extras either. Neither was Cori for that matter.

"'It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas,'" the radio played. Always the same songs over and over sang by different artists with their individual flare, but always the same –

Hearing the front door open, Steve could already feel his lips quirk into the start of a grin. There was only one person that that could be. Turning the radio off, Steve made his way towards the entryway where soft rustlings could be heard.

"How was your flight?"

Pausing in the middle of toeing off his boots and shrugging out of his peacoat, Ian smiled over at him. Getting back to shedding himself of his outerwear, Ian positively beamed, "I met someone."

"You did?" Steve couldn't help but swell with the happiness he felt for his adopted son.

Nodding, Ian removed his knitted beanie and scrubbed his hand over his hair, causing the recently colored green sponge curls to spring from their previously flattened state. "Yeah, she's incredible."

Giddy, Steve encouraged, "Well don't hold out on me! What's her name? What's she like? How'd you meet?"

Playfully, Ian rolled his eyes, but his grin only grew. Obviously completely smitten by this mystery girl. As they made their way further into the house, Ian started answering his adoptive omega father's questions.

"Her name is Wylie," Ian informed before pointing at Steve as though repeating the girl's words, "'That's Kylie, but with a W.'"

"Wylie, capital W," Steve set to memory, accepting the mug of coffee that the young Black man handed him. Taking just a sip before prompting, "And...?"

"And she's simply wonderful! We spent the whole flight talking about books and movies and politics and, well, everything. I've never felt so attuned with another person before."

Brows furrowing, Steve asked, "On the flight? You met on the flight?"

"Well," Ian shrugged a shoulder, dismissing how short of a time that was. "I mean, when's the last time you've talked to anyone for five hours straight?"

Sighing, Steve couldn't even answer because he wasn't sure if he ever had spent that much time speaking to anyone. Not even Bucky, but especially not when they first met. Of course, they had better things for their mouths to do when they first met than talk.

"Okay," Steve good-naturedly scoffed. Figuring that he couldn't judge the man when he and his own mate got together after a drunken hookup that ended with a pregnancy. Insisting, "Where's she from?"

"She's from Queens," Ian watched Steve's expression change from curious to interested.

"That's nice," Steve decided. Taking another drink of his black dark roast coffee, he half-teased, "Might make you come visit more."

Ian's lower lip pouted and his eyes turned sad, "I don't need someone else to make me come visit you guys."

"Oh, I know, sweetie," Steve assured. Reaching across the countertop, "We just never want you to leave."

"Pops," Ian rounded the island, so he could pull the omega into a great, big hug.

Pulling out of the embrace so he could get back to the jam-filled donuts, Steve asked, "Did you at least get her number?"

Rolling his eyes, the smile stayed on his face. As his tawny cheeks reddened, he pulled out a folded piece of paper, "Duh."

Steve couldn't fight the grin threatening to crease his face, so he didn't. Instead, he let the love bubble out of him and fill the space with his contented scent. And that contentness grew when it was paired with the younger alpha's. This was what Steve wanted. To be surrounded by those he loved and know that they loved and were loved in return.

"And you really think she's special?" Steve asked, wanting to be sure whether he should get his hopes up. "Because Kit thought that the barista was. Of course, they also thought the graphic designer was too."

"And don't forget the dirtbike rider," Ian added.

Pausing his kneading of the dough, Steve's brows furrowed, "Dirtbike rider?"

"Yeah," Ian took a drink of his own coffee, completely oblivious to the fact that Steve had no idea who he was talking about. "Christian or Christina, I can't remember. But they were cute."

Rolling out the dough, Steve said, "Wait. You saw them?"

"I called Kit, and they were at the track," Ian explained. Starting to realize that Steve had no idea who he was talking about. Messing with the septum ring with the white opal bead peeking out, "If it helps, I don't think it was anything serious. Just a friends with ben–"

"Okay, okay!" Steve chuckled, stopping the younger man, "I get it. I never told my mom about a partner unless I was hoping they'd stick around."

"Fair," Ian decided, taking it upon himself to add a spoonful of strawberry jam to the cutout pieces of dough.

"So," Steve kept his attention on finishing the donuts so they could be fried. "'Ya gonna try and hang out with Capital W, Wylie?"

"Definitely," Ian confirmed, golden-brown complexion reddening. Then, he teased, "She's the reason why I'm visiting."

Rolling up one of the scraps of dough, Steve threw it at the twenty-nine year old. Playfully muttering, "Smartass."

Tossing his head back, the younger man chuckled, "Love you too, pops."

[f1nalboys]

Hello!! I saw your requests were open and wanted to send a Holiday themed one in! I was wondering if you could do something for Randy Meeks, Stu Macher, and Billy Loomis, celebrating the Holiday (what holiday they celebrate, if any is up to your own interpretation). I don't know if this is something you'd be interested in writing, but I thought it would be worth asking!!! Regardless, I hope you have a wonderful day/evening and a happy holidays

HI ILY AND IM SO SORRY I DIDNT DO THIS EARLIER but i hope you enjoy this!!! I had sm fun writing it hehe

WORD COUNT: 752

WARNINGS: none <3

BILLY

Billy is not a big Christmas fan

Or holiday fan in general

After his mom left he really fucking hated the holiday seasons because it just reminded him of her and what his dad did

HOWEVER

If he was in a relationship (a serious one) then he would eventually start liking the holiday again

He’s not super into decorating, he finds it pointless (besides the tree) but he’ll humor you I suppose

If you guys have kids though??? Oh he’s going all out

Tree, decorations, family pictures, matching pajamas, the whole nine yards for real

It’d be so cute seeing how excited he gets along with his kid over the small parts of the holiday like making ornaments out of popsicle sticks and glitter, picking out the glitter glue to make stockings, all of it

In the beginning Billy doesn’t take the gift aspect super seriously, like he’ll get you something great but not because he knew it would be sentimental to you if that makes sense

But once you’re with him for a long enough time and he starts to really understand you and your likes and dislikes, he’s going to start putting in more thought

You collect mugs? He’s going to hand make (or paint) a mug for you. You like coffee? He’ll get a coffee brand named after you of something idk

Basically once you’re together for a few years you’ll figure out (and he won’t ever admit it) that Christmas is his favorite holiday (besides Halloween)

STU

Oh Stu is a holiday fein

Every holiday, no matter how ‘unimportant’ or ‘lame’ it is, he’s decorating

His parents were rich and were gone a lot (when they weren’t packing him up along with them) so he would often spend holidays with his nannies

And he loved them so much he would try and make the holiday fantastic, even if no one else is celebrating lol

Stu is under the ‘the more expensive, the better the gift’ umbrella when it comes to gift-giving holidays and it’s kind of hard to get out of that mindset

He is great at giving gifts, though, since money isn’t really a problem for him. Expect your tree to look like fucking Dudleys from Harry Potter

He throws holiday parties all the time

Labor Day party at the Machers yall!!!!!

He takes the major holidays super seriously too, like Halloween, Christmas, Hanukkah (his mom is Jewish so they celebrate both argue with yourselves,) Easter, stuff like that.

On occasion he’ll throw/host a party for a holiday he doesn’t celebrate but that one of his friends does

He thinks holidays are important not just for bonding but for your happiness

“Parties are like oxygen man” type shit

RANDY

Randy LOVES celebrating

He has a big family (his sister and parents but extended family as well, they’re all super close) so its an excuse to get together and see each other which he loves

He especially loves hanging with his younger cousins, he’s so good with kids I swear to god it’s almost enough to make me sob lol

But he is very big on tradition and his family has a lot

An Easter egg hunt (even though they’re Jewish lol) where there’s one egg that’s jumbo sized and inside is $200-$500 LMFAO

Its a very cut throat competition and Randy will and has pushed his family members over to give himself an advantage

Doesn’t matter the age either

He’s won two years in a row and he refuses to lose, it’s pretty scary seeing how into it he is but I love him so its ok

Hannakuh is more traditional and he takes it very seriously, the gift aspect takes him months to plan because he wants to give everyone good gifts

OH GOD this man loves latkes more than anything

His family has a tradition where each member gets their own menorah and Randy tends to say the prayers on the first night and after that it splits between his mom, dad, and sister

On Halloween, Randy goes all out

It takes months of planning to get his costume right and he takes a lot of pride in it

Yes he would cosplay on Tik Tok lets move on

He went as the Phantom from Phantom of the Opera one year and like,,,, he was method acting his tits off that night

He hooked up with a person dressed up like Christine too and he considers it a highlight of his career

[arc-angel-o]

SEASON 2 - BAD NEWS BUT MOSTLY GOOD NEWS

I wanted to follow up on my last (now deleted) post, about season 2.

I want to be both optimistic and cautious.

I could not find a second source confirming that release date. And it looks like the website (whenetflix) tends to just make shit up for clickbait, so i deleted the post featuring them.

But the optimistic part is: even if it's not real, that doesn't mean there isn't a release date, just that it's not that one.

Below is a little bit of evidence suggesting that season two is happening, which i was going to post closer to when i thought it might be announced or hinted at officially, but since we're here I might as well share it now.

Something i find compelling (that my mom doesn't 😭) is this little timeline:

2015 - NY production started

2016 - still in progress

2017 - NY S1 released

2018 - NY pink christmas released

2019 - S2 production started?

2020 - still in progress?

2021 - present day/?

If s2 takes as long or longer to make as s1, and production started right after Pink Christmas or later... That means a hypothetical s2 would be completed this year or maybe the next. Especially with covid and especially if there's a proper 12 episodes, factors like those put the release date at the later end.

December's coming up, and i predict there's gonna be some sort of announcement then somewhere saying something like

"happy Hanukkah, happy holidays, pink christmas anniversary is coming up, watch that shit on Netflix and stream friend like u on Spotify, to celebrate here's a gift for fans of the show, [insert s2 announcement here]"

Even if it doesn't explicitly say "season 2 is here"

That's what it'll mean.

(you gotta let me know if this happens cause all i have is tumblr and youtube)

I have more ny theories I'm working on, one of which is sort of connected to this, they take me a while to write. Not as long as fics though 😎

But i do have a Christmas oneshot ready. I just gotta rewatch Pink Christmas to make sure there's no continuity errors, and i don't want to watch it yet considering it's only Nov 8th

And I'm finally getting back into figure skating (Olympics will do that to you), so I may add another chapter to my Neo Yokio figure skaters au soon as well.

[mandaloriandragontrainer]

Exept, didn't religious scholars deduce that Jesus would have most likely been born in July based on the position of the "Christmas star" as well as the general activity of shepherds during the winter months? Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think research suggests Christmas was placed during the latter part of December specifically to offer a Christian alternative to the Roman "saturnalia" (a holiday of fun, feasting and gift giving where slaves were not expected to work) when the region was being Christianised. So if you look at it that way, modern Christmas is a hybrid of all kinds of traditions and it would be just as accurate to say that the meaning of our winter holiday is "feasting and togetherness" as it is to say that the meaning is "celebrate Jesus".

Again, I mean absolutely no offense with this, and I'm really not looking to start a debate. I fully understand if you don't want to answer this. It just kind of irks me when people act as if those who are not actively religious are in some way "wrong" or "bad" for celebrating.

I hope you have a happy Christmas, in whichever capacity you celebrate! 🎄

Oh yeah, historically Jesus was definitely a spring or summer baby. Very early Judeo-Christian tradition holds that the world was created on March 25, and that Jesus was conceived (and later crucified) on that date. Nine months later would equal December 25. That happened to fall around the time of various pagan festivals, as you mentioned, so a lot of those traditions got “adopted” when Constantine Christianized the Roman Empire. The first recorded celebration of Christmas on December 25, 336 AD, so it’s been a Christian festival for a while, even though it’s almost certainly not Jesus’ actual birthday and our modern Christmas traditions come from a whole hodgepodge of cultures and festivals. Interestingly, I’ve met a lot of obnoxious American evangelical Christians who don’t even know the theological history of the December 25 date and complain that Christmas is an evil “pagan” holiday that we shouldn’t celebrate. Scrooges, if you ask me.

I have absolutely no problem with people celebrating Christmas secularly! I think it’s cool that so many cultures have winter holidays, and that the general Christmas message of “peace and goodwill” can and should extend beyond Christians. I just find it funny and a bit annoying that Christmas in particular, not the other winter holidays, can never be acknowledged in media as intimately tied to Jesus (at least nowadays, A Charlie Brown Christmas did back in the day). I’ve actually met young kids who had no idea that Christmas is Jesus’ “birthday,” even though I’m sure they’d eventually figure it out.

(Interestingly, I remember being very small and watching a Barney holiday movie that talked about the traditions of Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa! I’d like for more kids’ media to explain the actual spiritual and cultural origins of all holidays. I’ve never personally seen the historical Hanukkah account discussed on TV, it’s usually just mentioned as something Jewish families do instead of Christmas).

[qveensbury]

strumming on my heartstrings; don't be dumb

A/N: happy hanukkah @dasfreefree // @freefree-likes-haikyuu!

nurse!reader bonding with Grandpa Ukai when he’s at the hospital with a little Ukai/reader fluff at the end (ao3 & ko-fi will be in the reblog)

Walking into his hospital room, you jokingly huffed. “Ukai-san, I know you love to see me, but this is ridiculous.”

“My doctors keep treating me like I’m fragile.”

“Well, how are you feeling today?”

“Feelin’ fine.”

“Ok. Good. But, you should probably take it easy when they do release you.” You handed him his medicine. “A weak heart isn’t something to take lightly. You wouldn’t want to need surgery.”

Ukai-san grumbled into the paper cup before popping the pills into his mouth. “It was nice to get out of here. My grandson came by.”

“Did he?” You refilled his water and checked his vitals.

“But he just needed help with his volleyball team. Didn’t even come to see me.”

“You should just tell him you miss him. He hasn’t even come to visit you here.”

“He’s a big softie. Would probably start crying if he saw me in this gown.”

You chuckled. “Probably means he cares about you.”

“Keishin should visit so I can introduce you to each other.”

“I’d love to meet him,” you said lightly.

There was something genuine about Ukai-san’s ‘I have a grandson your age’ comments, even though you treated them like a joke. It felt different than the others you got during your rounds.

Maybe it was the understanding you came to the first time he was admitted.

Patients from his generation were difficult. Especially when they felt as he did—their condition wasn’t that bad and they could just get treatment at home.

On his first full day, he refused to take his medicine and wouldn’t talk to anyone. When it got to the point where he had to take his medicine, the other nurses on the floor played a game of rock-paper-scissors to see who would get the job of getting him to take it. You lost the game and had the pleasure of figuring out how to coax him into being a good patient.

Pulling a chair next to his bed, you sat and sighed.

“Your daughter-in-law is pretty worried.”

Silence.

“You need to take your medicine, Ukai-san. Are you feeling dizzy or lightheaded?”

More silence.

“Hmm, your son did say this is your first time at the hospital in months. Although, last time wasn’t at our prestigious institution. But you should know the drill. You need to help your heart pump that blood.”

“I’m not taking that medicine.”

You blinked. “I’m pretty sure your son said you don’t have any allergies to medicine. Did he forget?”

“Last time, it was like playing Russian roulette when they gave me that pill. Sometimes, I was fine. Sometimes, I was so nauseous I thought I was out at sea.”

You frowned, leaning forward. “Did they ask you how you were before you took it?”

“No.”

“Well, that’s why. You can’t take this when feeling faint. A TV nurse could’ve told you that.” You reined in your anger for a moment. “Ukai-san?”

He grunted in response.

“It’s okay to be scared.”

Ukai-san looked up at you.

Continuing, you said, “I understand how disorienting this all can be. Especially if you’ve had a bad experience. No one wants to be in the hospital. But you can’t get better if you don’t tell us what’s happening on Planet Ukai. Today: no dizziness, right?”

“No. No dizziness.”

“So today: you need to take your medicine. Later today? Tomorrow? Maybe not. Sound good?”

Nodding, he visibly relaxed.

“Great.” You smiled, handing him a paper cup. “And it’s okay to be afraid,” you whispered. “It would be a little unnerving if you weren’t.” Standing, you added at your regular volume, “But we’ll take care of you here. Ok, Ukai-san?”

“Yes.”

“Thank you. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Thank you.”

After that, Ukai-san continued to give all the other nurses a hard time, except for you.

Noa would frequently ask how it felt to be the General’s favorite. And you would reply, “I’ll let you know when I meet this grandson.”

—

“Keishin’s team is playing a game today. You should come watch a bit.”

“I heard you’ll be hosting a little party.”

Ukai-san told you more about the team Karasuno would be playing and his long-lived rivalry with Nekoma’s coach as you did your routine around the room.

“Good luck to them. I’ll swing by later.”

The game slipped from your mind until you heard cheers coming from Ukai-san’s room.

“How’s it going?”

“Y/N-chan, they’re gonna show Keishin again. Come.”

Following his instructions, you sat beside him on the bed.

“There he goes.”

Oh.

When Ukai said Keishin looked just like he did back in the day, you thought he meant it in an exaggerated way. You joked that his grandson must be really attractive then and Ukai would laugh. But the moment you saw Keishin you knew who Ukai-san was talking about.

He does look hot.

“He looks just like you,” you joked.

Ukai-san beamed at you and you chuckled.

“You are so proud of him. It’s cute.”

“We’ve been trying to get back to Nationals for five years.” Ukai-san whispered so only you could hear him say. “I’m glad I got to see another dumpster battle.”

You patted his hand before standing to leave. “Me too, Ukai-san.”

—

“Ukai-san, how are we doing today? Experiencing any lightheadedness?”

“Ah, here she is.”

Looking up from your clipboard, you realized Ukai-san had a visitor. The first time you saw Keishin you didn’t notice how sharp his jaw was or the warmth of his eyes or the muscles in his forearms. You closed your mouth and looked at Ukai-san.

“L/N, this is my grandson, Keishin. Keishin, this is the best nurse in the whole hospital.”

“Ukai-san, if you’d said ‘best nurse in the whole country’ I would have started blushing. Nice to meet you, Ukai-kun.”

“Nice to meet you.”

“Should I come back later? I don’t want to interrupt your quality time.”

“No, stay L/N. Finish up and Keishin can treat you to a coffee during your break.”

You both protested at the same time.

“Ukai-san—”

“Gramps—”

“—I thought you were joking!”

“—why are you always so heavy handed?”

“Don’t put him on the spot like that. It’s okay.”

“It’ll look like I’m only asking her out because of you.”

Whipping your head to look at him, you felt your heart pang. “You want to ask me out?”

A blush crept up Keishin’s cheeks. “Well, I— He’s been—”

“It’s a yes or no question, Keishin,” Ukai-san interjected.

“Y’know what? Let’s talk later without an audience,” you blurted out, handing Ukai-san his medicine. “I’ll be at the nurses’ station.”

They started bickering the moment you stepped outside to go to the next room.

“What happened? You look flustered.” Noa joined you on the way to the nurses’ station after your round.

“Still?” You pressed your hands to your cheeks. “Ukai’s grandson is here.”

“Oh, the hottie? We were wondering who he came to visit. Did you talk to him?”

“Barely.”

“Well, you’re Ukai-san’s favorite. That’s gotta be a plus at least.”

Keishin was waiting at the nurse’s station and perked up when he saw you.

“Hey.”

Your heart fluttered. “Hi, Ukai-kun."

“L/N, could we go on a walk?”

Noa gave you a thumbs-up as she circled around the nurses’ station to sit down.

“Sure. We could go to the atrium next to the garden.”

He nodded and let you lead the way.

“You honestly don’t have to ask me out if you don’t want.” You spun around to face him once you arrived. “I won’t tell your grandpa.”

“Are...you trying to let me down nicely? Because I do want to take you on a date. But if you aren’t interested, I can take a hint.”

“Wait, are you serious?”

“Dead serious.”

“I would like to at least get a coffee with you. But it seems a little too good to be true,” you smirked.

“You’re telling me. Gramps spends an hour talking up this nurse. Who he’s also been talking about nonstop to my parents. Then this angel walks in.  I swear, he caught me off guard. But you started pushing back when he mentioned a date and I thought I didn’t have a chance.”

“No, it was a defensive reflex. You had a chance before I even met you. Ukai-san has told me a lot of good things about you.”

Keishin raised his eyebrows. “Good?”

“Well, some bad, too.”

“That sounds right.”

You laughed. “He really loves you.”

“I can say he likes you a lot more than me.”

“Maybe.”

“Ok. Enough about him. Coffee?” Keishin tilted his head to the side.

“Yes,” you smiled.

“Great,” he smiled in return. “I’d be a little hurt if you did shoot me down. But oh boy, would the old man give me a hard time if you did say ‘no.’”

Imagining Ukai-san’s response, you snorted. “Let’s go, Ukai-kun. I’ll save you from your grandpa’s rage.”

[oikawa-tuwu]

Porch (gn!Reader x Kuroo)

Rated G, 1.6k words

Not Home for the Holidays Masterlist

"Have you ever made a snowman?"

It’s ten in the morning, and you are starting to get concerned.

There he is again, that man, lingering in front of the bay window facing the front lawn, gazing wistfully at the falling snow.

How long has he been there? Since breakfast, at least. Was he there last night, too? Watching those first flakes fall, dusting everything with a little bit of soft white powder. Either way, the man doesn’t look like he plans on moving anytime soon.

And, yeah, maybe there isn’t much to do otherwise. Most of the attractions of the local town were more summer-based, so many of your guests this time of year are just looking for an escape from their regular life, an excuse to do nothing and watch the snow fall. Writers on a retreat, hoping for a strike of inspiration for their next project. Business-men, on the search for a cheap escape from city life. People looking to spend the holidays somewhere that wasn’t their cold, empty apartments.

Still, watching that man sit, frozen,  entranced by the snow outside, was definitely starting to get concerning.

 Whatever. You have chores to do.

 And then the man moved.

That  was the last straw. A couple hours later, when you pass through the entryway, from the stairs to the sitting room to take a break, you notice the man is gone. After a glance outside the windows, you spot him on the porch. Outside. In the freezing cold winter weather.

You watch him for a second, as he leans against the porch railing, still staring at the falling snow.

With a resigned sigh, you reach for your jacket and boots, and follow him outside.

“Hi,” you say, as you sidle up next to him. “Kuroo, right?”

“Yeah,” he answers, but he sounds a little surprised to see you there. “And you… work here at the bed and breakfast?”

“I  own the bed and breakfast,” you correct. “The name’s Y/n.”

“Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise.”

It’s quiet for a moment. Peaceful, as you both watch your breath in the chilly air. However, you're thinking, trying desperately to perfectly enunciate the worries on your mind, but there’s no subtle way to inquire if your guest is doing alright, mentally, without sounding abrasive or like you're trying to be an armchair psychologist. Maybe you should just come right out and ask it? Hey, guest of mine, how's it going in that head of yours?

But, before you can, Kuroo murmurs, quietly, “Picture perfect snow. It looks like the opening to a Hallmark movie.”

“Or a horror movie,” you suggest instead, and Kuroo laughs. “A body, murdered in the study, with a blanket undisturbed fresh snow surrounding the isolated bed and breakfast.”

Kuroo, gleefully playing along, gasps, dramatically, “The murderer is one of the guests! Harrowing!”

“A real Agatha Christie.”

Kuroo laughs again. Not a polite laugh to ease the tension or to acknowledge the effort of the joke without condoning it either, but a full-blown, mirthy laugh, uncontained and a little on the side of  cackle-y.

With some of the tension in the air cleared by humor, you find it a little bit easily to ask the question. “Is there a… particular reason you’re out here alone, rather than warming up by the fireplace?”

Kuroo doesn’t answer immediately, just stares out into the white expanse for a couple more seconds. Finally, he asks, “Have you ever made a snowman?”

That definitely wasn't what you expected him to say, but you nod your head anyways. “When I was a kid. Have you not?”

“No,” he says, eyes still on the falling snow. “My sister’s a lot older, so she never wanted to do stuff like that with me, and Kenma… well, Kenma doesn’t like going outside.”

“This Kenma sounds like a smart person.”

“He is,” Kuroo agrees, wholeheartedly. “Smarter than me at least.”

And there it is again, that flash of just a little bit of sadness, a little bit of gloom in the corner of his eye. Kuroo’s frowning, not with his lips, which are still in a polite narrow smile, but with his eyes, and the expression makes you frown.

It’s the holidays! Your guests can’t be sad! What kind of host would you be if you let him mope around about a missed childhood?

“Well,” you say, before you can think otherwise, “Do you want to build a snowman?”

Kuroo laughs, but quickly realizes that you  aren’t  laughing  , and he gapes at you. “Oh, you were serious!”

You shrug. “Why not?”

“Because,” Kuroo starts, but it takes him a second to figure out an actual excuse. “Don’t you have things to do?”

“I just have to cook dinner. That gives us a couple hours to act like children again.”

Kuroo frowns, for real this time, and you can see the gears grinding in his brain, as he thinks, processes, argues between the two options. It’s a painfully long process, and your fingers twitch with anticipation at his response. 

“Let’s do it,” Kuroo finally says, and you see that little frown break out into a full-fledged grin, one so infectious that you feel  yourself starting to grin and then both of you are bounding as quickly as you can down the porch stairs without slipping on the ice, giggling as you start to gather the snow.

It’s been a while since you’ve done this, to say the least, so it takes a few minutes to re-acquaint yourself with the snow. Forming a little ball of snow in your gloved hands, you slowly start to roll it, gathering more and more of the white powder.

Kuroo is a quick learner, apparently, because after only a few minutes of watching you work, he’s started on his own, talking as he works.

It’s a little bit of a struggle to keep a conversation going, as most of your brain is focused on making the best snowman body ever and trying to ignore the cold biting into your nose and cheeks, but the both of you make it work.

Gradually, you learn about him. You learn that he’s a sports promoter that used to play volleyball, and his childhood best friend’s name is Kenma. You learn his favorite food is fish and he wanted to be a doctor until his first year of college when he switched majors, and you learn the reason why he’s spending the holidays alone at a bed and breakfast, hundreds of miles away from Tokyo.

“My family went on vacation abroad,” he says, as he leans against his sizable snowball, taking a much needed rest from your hard work. “I couldn’t go because of work, and Kenma is visiting his friend in Rio.” He shrugs, trying to appear more nonchalant about it than he clearly feels. “I didn’t want to intrude on the holidays of any of my other friends and their families.”

“I’m sure they wouldn’t see it as intruding,” you say, gently. “But, of course, you’re welcome to spend them here instead, if you would like. It’s probably not preferable to family or friends, but…”

“Who says spending the holidays with you isn’t preferable?” Kuroo asks, with a grin that makes your heart skip a beat.

What was that about a Hallmark movie?

Your snowman is done much quicker than you expected. Much quicker than you liked.

Kuroo, before you can even offer, assembles the snowman for you, grunting and heaving as he places his artfully-crafted snowball head on the torso. It’s a little crooked, and, in all honesty, a little pathetic, but you both smile at it.

“Wait,” you say, remembering the bag of carrots in the back of the vegetable drawer. “I’ll be right back.”

You’re certain that you’re tracking snow through the house, but it's fine, you’ll mop later.  This is more important right now. In just a few moments, you have a carrot clutched in your hands, and you skid to a pause in front of the coat closet by the front door. Thankfully, you find a forgotten scarf from two seasons ago, and the hat you keep in there just in case of an emergency bad hair day, and bound down the porch steps towards Kuroo.

“Ta-da!” you announce, raising the accessories (and one carrot) like a hard-won trophy. “Would you like to do the honors?”

With you bracing the back of the head, Kuroo gladly sticks in the makeshift nose, and both of you are full-on giggling as you put on the hat and wrap the scarf around the snowman’s nonexistent neck.

You step back together, simultaneously, admiring your collective handiwork. Kuroo snaps a picture.

“He’s beautiful,” you say.

“Truly a masterpiece,” Kuroo agrees. "Who knew that the two of us could make such a beautiful son?"

You glance over at him, and he glances over to you, and then both of you are laughing again, laughing so hard your stomach hurts and you're wheezing, and just as you have the brief passing thought that you can’t remember the last time a single person has made you laugh this much in a couple hours, Kuroo’s phone rings.

He stops laughing, but still smiles when he reads the caller ID, sending an apologetic glance your way as he answers the phone.

“Hey Kenma,” he says into the phone. “Did you like the snowman? Well, that’s not very nice. We worked hard on him, you know.”

You snicker, which makes him snicker, but the expression fades as he listens to the voice on the other end of the phone.

“Yeah, I’m done with work for now, but I have to be back in Tokyo on the first. No, no, save your money. Okay,  show-off . Truly Kenma, I’m okay here. Have fun with Shoyou.”

Kenma, on the other line, says something, but it's quiet and unintelligible. Kuroo cheeks, already flushed from the cold wind, blush a little more.

“I’m hanging up now,” Kuroo says. “Don't forget to get me a souvenir."

Kuroo laughs at something to quiet for you to hear, and hangs up, tucking his phone back into his pocket.

“You're not going to Rio too?”

“Nah,” Kuroo says, shrugging nonchalantly. You note, with a little satisfaction, that sad look in his eyes is gone, replaced with a bright grin. “I think I’ll be plenty at home here.”

Happy Hanukkah!! Thanks for reading, I hope yall have a great week. See you on 12/15 for Kiyoko's!

[cverture-a]

Jamie, listen, I know everyone attacks you for your actions but I'm compelled to believe that you're not a COMPLETE douchebag. Maybe I'm about to bring something up that you don't want to talk about and I'm SORRY ( kind of ) but I want your side of it. The real side of what happened with Cathy. And don't give me any of this shrugging of the shoulders and saying it's in the past BULLSHIT.

He didn’t want to talk about it, that much was true, and yet it seemed he was about to regardless of what he wanted. He had let it go, let people believe what it was they needed to believe. If that was what she needed, then he would give it to her. He had let them believe, all along, that he was the bad guy in all of this. That he was the only one deserving of the blame – and to an extent, it was true. He wasn’t innocent in the ending of his relationship with Cathy, but it wasn’t as if she had never done anything wrong either.

“My side of it?” He considered for a moment where he could possibly start, hand gliding back into the untamed hair on his head. “I guess you could say it started, not the summer after we got married but the following? We had been together for three years by then, if we’re talking about the grand scheme of things. She had gone off to Ohio again, summer-stock theater and all. It was fine. We were fine, but it was what I like to refer to as ‘the beginning of the end’ because while we didn’t see it coming…” he trailed off. “It was.”

“But anyway, she was in Ohio for the summer and I was here in New York. ‘Light Out Of Darkness’ had come out a few months earlier, so I was still going to publishing parties and the like. There was even a small book tour. Random House kept scheduling me for all these different events, and it wasn’t like I could say no – it was Random House. I couldn’t exactly say no.  They published my book, and they could easily influence my work being taken off the bestsellers list simply by ceasing promotion for the novel. So obviously, I went to the parties. I did signings at every Barnes & Noble in New York, some even in Boston. Everywhere, it seemed, except Ohio.”

“I didn’t make it there at all that summer, and I knew she was disappointed. The skype sessions weren’t enough, not for either of us. I don’t want to speak for Cathy, but I was lonely. I wasn’t used to being home without her. Or, I guess, just without her. I could start to feel the tension in our relationship, and when she returned that September, we had a conversation about it.”

“I told her, point blank, how I had been feeling. I didn’t tell her, though, that I had caught myself looking at other women more than a few times; wondering what it would be like to be held in their embrace, to rest my head in the lap of a pretty girl and have her playing with my hair. To kiss a woman, to feel her kissing me back…” It was clear that he was getting sad as he continued. “I wanted that woman to be Cathy. Of course I did, i’m not a complete monster.”

“It didn’t take long for her to accuse me of overshadowing her, to accuse me of not believing that she could be an actress in the city. That hurt me because my intentions have always been to support her with everything i’ve got in me. I’d write stories, little tales, trying to cheer her up and she would shoot them down despite how much work I had put into them. Fine. Okay. I guess I can understand.”

“I’d welcome her home after a day of auditions, ask her how it had gone – she wouldn’t talk to me. Eventually it felt like she wouldn’t talk to me about anything, anymore. She stopped attending events with me, claiming that it was all about me. I mean, it was about me. About my book, but I would always introduce her. I would try to keep her involved. I would dote on her, bring her drinks, but I had a job to do. I had to schmooze. I had people to impress, if I wanted them to buy my book, and so I would sometimes leave her to her own devices.”

“And then didn’t want to visit my family for hanukkah, so I went alone. I didn’t force her to come, but my family is important to me. That was her choice to make. Sure, my mom wasn’t crazy about Cathy to begin with, but she was disappointed when I showed up alone. Frankly, it was embarrassing. I felt ashamed that I had somehow failed to keep her happy, to the point that she didn’t wish to be included in festivities with other people who were just as important to me.

“It started to feel like in order to be around her, I had to be someone that I wasn’t. I couldn’t talk about the things that made me happy, or about my family. I couldn’t talk to her about the book or my new work. I felt like I had to tip-toe around her, no matter what I did. No matter how hard I tried.” His jaw clenched. “It didn’t feel like she was trying. In retrospect, I’m sure she was, in her own way. I’m sure she was.”

“It started to feel like walking into a battle. Every little thing i’d say or do…” Jamie winced at the memory. “Nothing could be just mine; or everything would be just mine – in the sense that I started keeping to myself. I had become withholding, figuring that she didn’t care how I was feeling. Assuming that no matter what I’d say to her, she would swat it out and one-up me with how bad things were for her. I wasn’t allowed to have bad days, she claimed those for herself.”

“We started getting professional help just after the new year began, both seemingly determined to repair what we still had. We both agreed that we wanted to return to the relationship we had before. We both tried, so hard…for the next few months. Until summer came, and off again she went to Ohio, while I stayed in New York – still promoting my book, while working on the manuscript for my second. I was upset that she was choosing to up and leave, especially while we were trying to work things out. Counseling isn’t meant to work in just six sessions. It takes a long time to repair something as fragile as our marriage had been at the time.”

“I couldn’t believe it when she told me that she would be gone for the entire summer…even despite what we were trying to do. We were trying to stay together, trying to repair something that I now see was irreparable. Still, it hurt that she was putting her career before our counseling. I’m not blaming her, I want to be clear. She felt like she needed to do it for her career. For herself. I understand that, i’m just pointing out the facts: she didn’t have to go away for the summer. She could have stayed, we could have worked harder. Just like I didn’t have to agree to every event my publisher scheduled me for. But I did, and she did.”

He had gone over the story over and over again in his mind; the story of how they had built a tree house together, but the winds (time, distance, their careers) had come and began to blow it away. Piece by piece, the treehouse was slowly being destroyed. When the wind would gust, the tree house would shake. When the tree house would shake, it’s wood paneling would break or crack and they’d use glue to repair the damage. Where there had once been a tire swing, there was now just a rope – only getting shorter and frayed with each wind storm. The tree house’s structure was still there, but with time the integrity had wasted away and there was only so much that could be done once the foundation was ripped apart.

“And then while she was in Ohio…that last summer. I had been staying late for a meeting at Random House. I had just gotten off the telephone with her, telling her I would be there for her birthday that weekend. Promising. Swearing that I would be – and I was. I was there, in Ohio, on her birthday. But not for long. And not before making the biggest mistake I could have made.”

“I was weak, I will admit. Meeting with Alise in her office so late, and alone. It was a recipe for disaster and I think that on some level, I knew that. Some part of me knew that it would be a bad idea, and yet I did it anyway.” He let out a spiteful laugh, though it was clear he was remorseful about what he was about to admit. He hadn’t gone there with the intention of breaking his vow, but in the back of his mind was a question of what would happen if he had. Would his emotional suffering end? Would he find that singular moment of peace he had been searching for?

“It was a rough summer. My second manuscript had been returned to me with a ridiculous amount of editing and my wife wasn’t there to spend time with, to barely even talk to.” A pause “I’m not trying to blame this on rejection. I’m not trying to blame Alise or Cathy. I knew what I was doing, and I did it. Well, you know what they say. One thing lead to another and we ended up – I cheated.”

He knew it was the last gust of wind to bring down their tree house. There was no rebuilding the wreckage.

“And then off to Ohio I went…to spend a day with her for her birthday. I couldn’t stay the whole time, I used an excuse that Random House needed me back as soon as possible, that a plane the next day wouldn’t get me there in time. I couldn’t deal with myself. I couldn’t let her in on what I had just done, I couldn’t hurt her with something like that. Telling her would only make me feel better, would only allow me to get it off of my chest.”

“I got what I needed, but not from the person I needed it from. Company. Affection. Intimacy. Attention that was given from more than just a cell phone or computer screen. I’m not saying it was right ——” he knew that it wasn’t, he didn’t see himself as innocent in the situation. He didn’t know if he even believed in innocent anymore. “I’m saying I felt like I was losing my mind. I couldn’t talk to my wife, the woman who I had once thought of as my best friend. I didn’t even feel like there was a point in confessing how I had been feeling. She didn’t want to hear it.”

“In the end, when she came home. I eventually told her. She was upset, as expected. Upset is an understatement, but we continued working on it. We called up the marriage counselor and started up again, this time with appointments twice a week. I stopped seeing Alise altogether, got a new editor within Random House. I even stopped allowing meetings to be scheduled at the building. If I was going to fix things with Cathy, I knew better than to face temptation again.”

“But anyway, it didn’t matter. The counseling didn’t work. By the time Spring rolled around, I knew it was over. I knew there was no point in dragging things on. It wasn’t fair to either of us, and I know that I personally had given all I had to this relationship. I wasn’t giving up, I just — there’s a point when you know something is over. So I packed a few bags, cleared out our joint- checking account. I even paid a few months of rent on the old place so that she didn’t have to worry about where she was going to sleep for a little while. I wrote a letter, I get that that was a poor decision, and then I was gone.”

“You know, i’m always asked ‘Jamie, did you love Cathy? If you loved her, how could you cheat on her’ and I have to tell you – it’s not just black and white. I never thought that it was something I was capable of. There’s a lot of gray area, and there’s nobody outside of our relationship that could possibly understand that without being given all of the facts. We worked for it. It just…didn’t work for us. You can call me the bad guy. To an extent, it’s entirely deserving.”

“God, I loved her.”