#Harmony Barmy

[arcade-conspiracy]

When are we going to talk about the little bunny plushie Harmony got from their grandparents. That girl loves her rabbits. 🥺

[babisawyer]

harmony barmy I will love you forever.

[polarisgreenley]

A Bouquet of New Beginnings Chapter 13: "Whitty Pear"

Floriography - Harmony & Prudence

Summary: Just a weekend with some gals and opening trap doors.

[AO3]

Below is an excerpt of the chapter, full chapter can be viewed from the AO3 link above!

Incessant bangs roused Artemis from measly hours of sleep; Nocturne protested within her arms with a meow. With the still lingering tiredness from the earlier adventure, she managed to shuffle herself up and opened the door.

“Imelda?” Artemis mustered out with a still gravelly voice. Imelda, who stood there with both hands on her hips and dressed in Quidditch gear, snorted.

“Glad you remember my name," said Imelda sarcastically. "Didn’t believe it when Violet said your bed curtains were still shut.” 

“Sshh, you’ll wake Nerida and Priscilla,” shushed Artemis as she let the black-haired girl in. Her simple braid slipped off her shoulder and dangled to her mid-back as she shut the door. Nocturne rubbed himself around her ankles as she read the shared clock. Seven-thirty.

“Nerida would sleep through a bloody graphorn charge. And Priscilla isn’t even here; probably off with whichever friend in season. Hurry on and get changed; we’re going to strategize how to bludgeon that motion sickness out of you.”

“That isn’t how motion sickness works,” mumbled Artemis.

They’d never arranged anything, but they’d run into each other every other morning at the pitch. Or rather, Artemis was already there and Imelda came around in her flying gear. Each time, Imelda insisted Artemis fly with her, and without reason to refuse, she obliged.

Imelda shrugged as she sat at the edge of Artemis’ bed, the beryl eyes on the two sets of folded uniforms on the small, plush ottoman.

“Where’s the rest of your clothes?”

“You’re looking at them,” said Artemis as she grabbed one set.

“Seriously?”

“Dragon?”

“Ah, right, forgot about that.”

Artemis lifted an eyebrow; Imelda smirked.

“Anyways. Priscilla wasn’t thrilled. Insisted I’ve plans tomorrow.”

“Right. You’ll probably be marched into Gladrags and that frilly boutique. Good luck with that,” snorted Imelda. “Anyways, beating out your motion sickness. Spintwitches is open again.”

Artemis stepped behind the shade and started to change. “Spit witches?”

“Spintwitches,” corrected Imelda. “The sporting shop. Albie Weekes runs it – a bit barmy, but he’s got some brains. Heard he made some broom upgrades. Maybe you won’t get sick on a broom with one.”

Artemis grimaced. “I did say I don’t do well with swerves.”

“Yes, but curling on the ground like a pill bug?”

Artemis rolled her eyes at the tease.

“Besides, I don’t own a broom,” noted Artemis as she finished changing. Nocturne jumped onto the table and looked expectantly between her and the mirror on the floor.

“So get one! You won’t need to borrow the school’s then. Plus, it’s a handy way to escape if you’re surrounded by Ashwinder wankers,” reasoned Imelda

Artemis hummed. “You have a point.”

“I always have a point.”

“Fair,” said Artemis as she began her usual braiding ritual.

“Settled then, we’ll go after we fly,” said Imelda. Her beryl eyes met Artemis’ forest greens in the reflection. “Wait here.”

Artemis lifted an eyebrow with half her hair braided as she watched Imelda leave. Nocturne tilted his head before he pawed over two hairpins. She chuckled as she met the cat’s head bump with her own forehead.

“Thank you darling. Such a gentleman.”

Nocturne puffed his chest in pride. Artemis looked back briefly to check that Nerida’s curtains were still drawn. It seemed she really could sleep through a whole conversation.

The door clicked as Imelda returned with another set of Quidditch uniforms before they were flopped on her stack of Healing books.

“Now you have three sets.”

“But I – ”

“ – Keep it, they don’t fit me anymore” insisted Imelda as she crossed her arms and cocked her hip.

Artemis gave a smile. “Thank you, Imelda.”

“Whatever,” said Imelda as she rolled her eyes. Imelda reached toward her desk and picked up the perfume bottle. “La Fleure?”

Artemis chuckled as she finished pinning one braid around her head. “It was a gift. Apparently, it’s for… special occasions, but the bottle’s too beautiful to be stuffed in a drawer.”

Imelda gave a hum as she kept reading the bottle.

Artemis continued wrapping her other braid around. “What is Anne Sallow like?”

“Why?” Imelda asked, her sharp eyebrow lifted.

“Just curious.”

Imelda huffed a laugh.

“Take Sallow, shrink him a few inches, give him long hair and put a decent pair of tits on him.”

“Imelda!”

“You chide, but you’re smiling,” remarked Imelda as she smirked.

Artemis rolled her eyes as she placed the final pin. Her reflection smiled back at her.

“I didn’t need that image, thank you.”

Imelda barked a laugh, though she turned serious a moment later.

“Want my honest opinion?”

“Here I thought you were always honest,” said Artemis. Imelda lifted a corner of her mouth.

“Huh! Didn’t think you had cheek in you. But I’m starving, so after breakfast. A proper breakfast, not just green apples,” said Imelda.

The subject matter closed until they were on their brooms and above the Ravenclaw tower, far away from prying eyes and ears. The cool wind lifted her bangs as her ribbon fluttered.

“Anne’s not a bad sort. Roomed with her before she left. Decent enough chaser that I didn’t want to throttle her. But the general opinion of her went up when she left. Pretty sure only Ominis was her true friend.”

“…went up when she left?”

“Yeah. I assume you know Anne’s been sick since last year?”

Artemis nodded; she’d garnered that to most, Anne Sallow had ostensibly left the school due to a long-term illness. Only Sebastian, Ominis, and now herself knew that she had been cursed.

“Well. Anne’s always been cheery and polite enough to everyone. Taste for chaos that even made Garreth’s explosions look tame… though she partook in most of those. Part of that Crossed Wands club. Had a wicked tongue and temper too. Nobody really talks about the latter two now that she left,” explained Imelda as she moved forward.

Artemis kept up as she casted a pre-emptive libro; the wind pressed against her chest faster and harder. She tightened her core to keep herself as steady as possible.

“When you said Ominis was her only true friend, what did you mean?” Artemis asked curiously. Their voices were louder to cut through the whipping sounds from the speeding air.

“Exactly that. Can’t exactly call Sebastian her friend when he’s her twin. Both are friendly enough with most people, but it’s surface level. Pretty common for Slytherins. Anyways, that trio stuck together like a permanent sticking charm. Even last year, Sebastian and Ominis stuck together and nobody entered that third slot.”

Artemis agreed with that thought. Despite the friendships she’d formed here, Henry would always remain her closest friend. She highly doubted there would be anyone who could surpass him.

“That is, until you gave Sebastian a right battering. It’d been a while since I’d seen either of them take to someone so quickly.”

Artemis chuckled awkwardly; she wasn’t sure where she stood with the blond at least.

“Still got your insides together?” Imelda asked, completely unaware of Artemis’ turmoil.

“Oh yes.”

She casted another Sensory Balancing Charm.

“Then you better keep up. We’re beating out that motion sickness. Race you to Hogsmeade!”

“Again, that’s not how this works...!”

Imelda only deigned her with barked laughter.

[rabbit-bf]

If I start posting about Harmony Barmy by tomorrow you know what happened

[culttvblog]

Number 6 Was a Plant: Living in Harmony

The introduction to this series of posts considering the theory that Number 6 didn't really resign and is a 'plant' in the Village may be read here: https://www.tumblr.com/culttvblog/738540162388213760/number-6-was-a-plant-introduction

Spoiler: this blog post spoils the identity of Number 1.

Just to recap what I've been thinking when considering the series in this light: I've been thinking it more likely that Number 6 planted himself in the Village having heard terrible things about it, because of the absence of support from his previous employers, who are clearly up to their necks in the shenanigans. Since he has clearly given his working life to a responsible job, I have surmised that discovering that all his former colleagues were either psychopaths or cabbages and that the whole thing is happily supported by the authorities in London, must have been very distressing. Seen in this light, the show isn't about the influence of society on the individual, it becomes a rogue male scenario, where the unnamed protagonist has a mission. A rather confused and confusing one, admittedly, but still.

I had also predicted that the show would fit the 'plant' theory less well as it went on. I have a theory that McGoohan thought along the lines that if Lew Grade wanted more episodes he could damn well have them and made them barmy on purpose. Of course there is no evidence for this, but the fact remains that any theory of the show always tends to get derailed by Living in Harmony and The Girl Who was Death, because they are out on their own.

Imagine my surprise, then, when I found that I had no trouble at all fitting my existing train of thought about the 'plant' theory to this episode. In fact it slipped in like in to a glove. I'm still rather gobstruck by this.

On one level I was going to say that since Number 6 is a plant and is investigating former intelligence colleagues we could look on the events of Living in Harmony as history's barmiest team building exercise (hallucinatory drugs, anyone?). Hear me out, but the Village already has the residents dressing up strange and doing strange things: getting them to act out a scenario in a fake Wild West village isn't that much weirder than anything they've already done. Alternatively, of course, you could say that Harmony is an allegory for the Village or for the world or intelligence services.

However the themes I outlined at the start are fully contained in this episode, so if you want to understand Number 6 as a plant, you can continue to do so with no trouble and explain the change of set in any way you like.

Consider, for example, the way Number 6 says he doesn't like the way Harmony is run. This line is obviously familiar from the whole series, and I'm sure he frequently expressed his dissatisfaction with his employers until appearing to resign. However instead of the 'Why did you resign' theme, this continues the theme where Number 6 is criticising the Village/Harmony. He continues to investigate rather than being questioned, exactly as he would if a 'plant'

When Catherine is found guilty of aiding a (significantly) 'prisoner' to escape, the judge tells Number 6 that 'When you work for me I'll let her go.' The judge makes him sheriff. Here, Harmonyh is trying to find a weakness in Number 6 and compromise him by giving him a gift. Did I happen to mention that virtually everything that has happened in the Village displays a complete absence of understanding that you can't bribe someone like Number 6? He has already commented that he's not for hire and tells the judge he might regret making Number 6 sheriff. Like everything else NUmber 6 does, he finds out more about Harmony by his new role. It's almost as if finding out what's going on and intervening where he has to is the point of everything he does, not any desire to go on holiday and be left alone.

Living in Harmony actually takes the scenario that Number 6 is investigating and the only one who is able to do anything about the situation, a step further. This happens at the point where the man approaches him and tells him they have decided to clean up the town but the townsmen and Number 6 can't do it without helping each other. Up to now in the series the help he has apparently been offered has tended to revolve around escaping or sabotaging. I think sorting it out would be far more up Number 6's street.

I wouldn't go to the stake for this idea, but I think there is another hint as to the end of the show in the judge's indication that Number 6 works for him and he'll kill Number 6 before he goes to work for another outfit. Immediately after he says that Number 6 tries to strange him only to find out that he is strangling a paper cut out and find himself back in the Village. This suggests that the authority figures that Number 6 spends the series fighting against aren't real or don't have real authority and the real authority is him. This episode continually refers everything back to Number 6 himself, and from that reality there really is no escape.

The only real difficulty I would suggest is that it is not possible to fit the details of this episode to the plant theory given that so much that happens isn't real. However, this difficulty may be avoided by assuming the episode is all allegorical pointing to a reality in which Number 6 is a plant. You may consider this a fatal flaw to the idea, of course.

To my surprise I am going to conclude that it is very easy to fit the hallucinatory events of Living in Harmony to the 'plant' theory, because it continues all the other themes of the series when seen in this light.

This blog is mirrored at

culttvblog.tumblr.com/archive (from September 2023) and culttvblog.substack.com (from January 2023 and where you can subscribe by email)

Archives from 2013 to September 2023 may be found at culttvblog.blogspot.com and there is an index to the tags used on the Tumblr version at https://www.tumblr.com/culttvblog/729194158177370112/this-blog

[blogs0728]

Some knowledge about cricket

Introduction:

Welcome to the captivating realm of Cricket, often hailed as the gentleman's game—a sport that transcends borders, cultures, and generations. This blog takes a deep dive into the enchanting world of cricket, unraveling its storied history, the exhilarating thrill of the game, and its enduring influence on fans across the globe.

Section 1: The Ballet of Willow and Leather

Cricket is a ballet of willow and leather, a harmonious yet fiercely competitive spectacle played out on fields that span continents. From the iconic cricket grounds of Lord’s in London to the bustling stadiums of Mumbai, each match stands as a testament to the spirit of sportsmanship and camaraderie.

Subsection 1.1: Origins and Evolution

The roots of cricket trace back to the 16th century, evolving from a rustic pastime into a global phenomenon. Delve into the transformation of cricket equipment, playing styles, and the emergence of different formats, from the timeless Test matches to the electrifying T20s.

Subsection 1.2: Icons of the Game

No exploration of cricket is complete without paying homage to the icons who have graced the field. From Sir Don Bradman's impeccable technique to Sachin Tendulkar’s unparalleled records, we celebrate the players who have become synonymous with cricketing greatness.

Section 2: The Symphony of Cheers and Roars

Step into a cricket stadium, and you'll be greeted by the symphony of cheers and roars—a cacophony of excitement that unites fans in their shared passion for the game.

Subsection 2.1: Cricketing Cultures

Cricket is more than a sport; it is a reflection of diverse cultures and traditions. Explore the unique rituals, chants, and celebrations that accompany cricket matches worldwide, from the spirited tunes of the Barmy Army to the sea of blue at an Indian cricket stadium.

Subsection 2.2: Unforgettable Moments

Cricket is a treasure trove of unforgettable moments, from last-ball thrillers to historic milestones. Relive the heart-stopping finishes, jaw-dropping catches, and emotional highs and lows that make cricket a rollercoaster of emotions.

Section 3: Beyond the Boundary

Cricket's impact extends beyond the boundary ropes, influencing societies, sparking conversations, and fostering a sense of community among fans.

Subsection 3.1: Cricket and Culture

Discover how cricket has woven itself into the fabric of various cultures, influencing art, literature, and even politics. From Bollywood movies centered around cricket to cricket-inspired paintings adorning galleries, the sport's cultural significance is undeniable.

Subsection 3.2: Cricket as a Unifier

In a world often divided, cricket has a unique ability to unify. Explore instances where cricket has served as a bridge between nations, fostering diplomatic ties and creating moments of shared joy and sportsmanship.

Conclusion:

As we conclude our journey through the cricketing cosmos, one truth becomes evident: cricket is not merely a sport; it's a narrative that unfolds on a grassy stage, captivating millions with its elegance, unpredictability, and unifying spirit. Whether you're a seasoned cricket enthusiast or a newcomer to the game, the cricketing world welcomes you to witness the magic that continues to define this remarkable sport.

[shahid12]

Cricket Odyssey: Embracing the Elegance and Spirit of the Gentleman's Pursuit

Introduction:

Welcome to the captivating realm of Cricket , often hailed as the gentleman's game—a sport that transcends borders, cultures, and generations. This blog takes a deep dive into the enchanting world of cricket, unraveling its storied history, the exhilarating thrill of the game, and its enduring influence on fans across the globe.

Section 1: The Ballet of Willow and Leather

Cricket is a ballet of willow and leather, a harmonious yet fiercely competitive spectacle played out on fields that span continents. From the iconic cricket grounds of Lord’s in London to the bustling stadiums of Mumbai, each match stands as a testament to the spirit of sportsmanship and camaraderie.

Subsection 1.1: Origins and Evolution

The roots of cricket trace back to the 16th century, evolving from a rustic pastime into a global phenomenon. Delve into the transformation of cricket equipment, playing styles, and the emergence of different formats, from the timeless Test matches to the electrifying T20s.

Subsection 1.2: Icons of the Game

No exploration of cricket is complete without paying homage to the icons who have graced the field. From Sir Don Bradman's impeccable technique to Sachin Tendulkar’s unparalleled records, we celebrate the players who have become synonymous with cricketing greatness.

Section 2: The Symphony of Cheers and Roars

Step into a cricket stadium, and you'll be greeted by the symphony of cheers and roars—a cacophony of excitement that unites fans in their shared passion for the game.

Subsection 2.1: Cricketing Cultures

Cricket is more than a sport; it is a reflection of diverse cultures and traditions. Explore the unique rituals, chants, and celebrations that accompany cricket matches worldwide, from the spirited tunes of the Barmy Army to the sea of blue at an Indian cricket stadium.

Subsection 2.2: Unforgettable Moments

Cricket is a treasure trove of unforgettable moments, from last-ball thrillers to historic milestones. Relive the heart-stopping finishes, jaw-dropping catches, and emotional highs and lows that make cricket a rollercoaster of emotions.

Section 3: Beyond the Boundary

Cricket's impact extends beyond the boundary ropes, influencing societies, sparking conversations, and fostering a sense of community among fans.

Subsection 3.1: Cricket and Culture

Discover how cricket has woven itself into the fabric of various cultures, influencing art, literature, and even politics. From Bollywood movies centered around cricket to cricket-inspired paintings adorning galleries, the sport's cultural significance is undeniable.

Subsection 3.2: Cricket as a Unifier

In a world often divided, cricket has a unique ability to unify. Explore instances where cricket has served as a bridge between nations, fostering diplomatic ties and creating moments of shared joy and sportsmanship.

Conclusion:

As we conclude our journey through the cricketing cosmos, one truth becomes evident: cricket is not merely a sport; it's a narrative that unfolds on a grassy stage, captivating millions with its elegance, unpredictability, and unifying spirit. Whether you're a seasoned cricket enthusiast or a newcomer to the game, the cricketing world welcomes you to witness the magic that continues to define this remarkable sport.

[schiavonaintherye]

Melody (S.W.A.L.K) 1971 Livewatch

I have seen this movie. but not the whole thing (i got interupped the first time i watched it)... so here goes! 

movie load please

20 seconds of logos???

guitar song™

this movie is so nostalgic for no reason

Mark Lester and Jack Wild: did you mean, Oliver Twist and The Artful Dodger?

and tracy hyde shes here too

i love this movie sm wtf

can these credits end????

ok yes they can

70s film marching band scene

ornshaw drinking whiskey before band bc why not

danny is bby

mY mOtHeR dId It SiR

dannys mum is so annoying wtf

i really love tom ornshaw

run bitch run

The BB™

SET FIRE TO THE NEWSPAPER???

look at his lil face ❤

MELODY MY DAUGHTER

a gowdfish please

aww look at her 

“ive done all those things i wanna try something new” LIKE DRAWING TIDDIES? DANIEL

“ah a boy gave it to me at school” was it ornshaw, i bet it was ornshaw

BITCH YOU RIPPED DANNYS TITS DRAWING

melody girl you cant play that fucking recorder

this film has great cinematography wtf

Melody Perkins Deserves The World !!

the gang go to school

Ornshaw Gets Bullied

“the jewish boys may now leave for private study” what about the jewish girls?? there’s clearly girls in the class?? why do they have to listen to the bible

ornshaw’s porn bible

DOES ANYBODY KNOW WHO JESUS WAS???

dont smoke at school kids

okay so shes peggy, why is she credited as maureen. who the fuck is maureen

hear me out, muriel is a lesbian. noone kisses for over five minutes unless youre proper horny and this bitch is like thirteen. she also says “i dont know, i never used to kiss boys”, because SHE DOESNT. shes lying because she doesnt kiss boys. shes closeted and thats whys she says she does. also, she got angry at peggy for saying she fancied a boy.

W I C

“saucy turtles make terrible bathmats, charley” okay okay jeez

ornshaws accent is everything

The Gang sneaking through the fence what will they do

uh oh danny

AWH YOURE BARMY

thats def gonna explode later

ornshaw gets kicked off the bus

but now hes on it

ornshaw and danny have such a wholesome friendship too bad melody ruins it oh wait

you’ve heared of ornshaw gets kicked off the bus now get ready for... ornshaw gets kicked out of the strip club!

you cant get a taxi!!! watch me hoe

where did ornshaw get the chewing gum from wtf

“shes always talking about people like you...” OH OKAY DANNYS MUM IS CLASSIST

“he could do with a heart attack!” WOAH OKAY

time skip to school

oh no danny’s seen melody

“we have three admirers of the dance!” ah shit

ah so maureen is the girl in green

why is ornshaw just standing there

FREE YOURSELVES

the girl gang is hilarious i love them

Muriel Kisses A Tombstone

uh oh dannys been found out

“HES A COWARD CMON”

ornshaw just yeeted his cat

i hate dannys mother sm

assembly time, an iconic part of british comprehensive school, since covid, i cant say i miss it

danny and melody !!

DANNY PLAYS CELLO THIS IS IMPORTANT INFO

melody and her friend are there because plot

melody sweetie baby i love you but you cant play the recorder

THEYRE PLAYING IN HARMONY DKDJSKDJSJKK 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

this is cute as fuck

melody is babey

oh explosives time??

i just dubbed these kids ornshaw and the pyrotechnics crew and it fits

dannys parents are annoying

i quite literally hate them

DANNY SPILT HIS COKE ITS SUCH A SIN

“neviw”

melody girl are you okay

melody are you lying about getting raped

oh time skip to school

we’ve hardly seen ornshaws home life so when will we properly meet him??

god i fucking love ornshaw its mad

oh this is an iconic scene if there ever was one

“go on tom dance with her” oh the ONE TIME ornshaw is called by his first name

youre mad !!

“girls are a load of snotty nose little so and sos” ornshaw aro king

is ornshaw.. scared of women

whatddya mean i dont dance very well!?

is it bad i lowkey crackship peggy and ornshaw now

YOU DANCE STUPID!

no one:

ornshaw: kicks peggy in the shin because he cant dance

“you big fat fool” yikes

danny u ok

ALL ORNSHAW AND HIS MATES DO IS CREATE EXPLOSIVES DJDKJSKt

oh it worked for once

i feel so fucking sorry for melody wtf

bb 🥺

im at the bit where melody is crying while putting on her mothers makeup 

SWEETIE ITS OKAY 

OH TIME SKIP TO SPORTS DAY! 

this film is so fast were already an hour in!

ornshaw giving actually solid life advice?? are you sure this is the same movie

“you youre gonna be bloody useless!”

i literally love ornshaw so much 

FUCK DANNYS MUM

GO ON DANNY 

YES MY BOY

time skip to school 3982903843290

wtf is a young latin scholars book

lahtimah

not ass latimer, arse

i hate the latin teacher

ornshaw every second: right uh erm um uh so yes sir oh uh mhm

*ornshaw and danny shoving pillows up their underwear*

“dont worry about it!!” dude hes getting spanked by the latin teacher ofc hes gonna worry about it

ornshaw and latimah

“vacate your mouth”

“because its a silly out of date language sir!!!” hes not wrong

uh oh 

what will slapping ornshaw’s ass with a dap even gonna do???

oh hi melody forgot about you

AWH DANNY SWEETHEART

“cmon danny dont let her see you cry!” i want a friend like ornshaw man

melody is just STANDING THERE LIKE GIRL LEAVE

“you can buzz off now love, tara, tooduhloo” have i said i love ornshaw? because i love ornshaw

danny dont abandon ornshaw !!

oh this is sad

danny? danny?? danny!!!??? DANNY!!?? 🥺🥺🥺

ORNSHAW RIGHTS MAN

ive felt sorry for literally all three of these kids now

ah fuck now ornshaws having a mental breakdown in the school halls

danny and melody’s relationship is so innocent and wholesome 

this is literally so bittersweet, like we’re seeing danny and melody being all cute and happy but we know that back in school ornshaw is literally having a breakdown over them

im tearing up over a movie about schoolchildren in puppy love

“will you love me that long?” “of course! ive loved you a whole week already!”

“hes come to tea! his name is daniel!” melody hes not your pet

melodys dad seems so cool why was he arrested

donald????

i genuinely love melody’s dad 

melody dramatically eats toast

time skip to school AGAIN

OH GOD I’M ACTUALLY CRYING

melody and danny are out on a date having fun and its the same song playing as the scene earlier on when danny and ornshaw went off somewhere at the start of the movie, melody has quite literally replaced ornshaw

i have real tears rn 

they skipped school to go to weymouth

danny and melody are literally adorable man

“shall we get married?” arent yall like 12????

oh back to school they got in trouble for skipping

apparently the poor cast got spanked for real and like yikes

we want to get married :D

ITS NOT MENT TO BE FUNNY!!

leave danny alone!

leave melody alone!

ornshaw please stop

ornshaw stop taunting him this is gonna end shittily

OH SHIT 

THEYRE STRAIGHT UP FIGHTING 

ORNSHAW AND DANNY ARE MF WRESTLING EACHOTHER TO THE GROUND

okay now ornshaw is literally beating him up okay

danny this is your fault for ditching him for melody sorry

top ten best anime fight scenes

latin man is back because plot

DID ORNSHAW GIVE HIM A BLOODY NOSE

i’m sorry danny 😭😭

ORNSHAW. DESERVES. THE. FUCKING. WORLD. AND. MORE.

let melody and danny get married!

wait so if 20 is twice as old as her then shes.. ten?? i think

melody ily

“all i want to do is be happy” BABY

OH FUCK YOU MRS LATIMER

oooh

THEYRE GOING TO GET MARRIED BY THE RAILWAY 

ornshaws unnamed friend is the true hero of this movie

is this the movie climax???

run! ornshaws unnamed friend! run!

IM SORRY THE’RE LITERALLLY GETTING MARRIED I’M 😭

“we are gathered here today to join this man and woman in holy matrimony.. shaddup”

ITS NOT FUNNY ITS SERIOUS

IS ORNSHAW STRAIGHT UP MARRYING THESE TWO IS HE THEIR VICAR

HE IS AS WELL

“DICKS IS COMING!!!” as soon as they were getting the rings

RUN !!!!

ornshaw just threw the bible at his re teacher from the re scene at the start i love him

DANNYS MUM HAD IT COMING

name a more iconic trio than melody perkins, danny latimer, and tom ornshaw, i’ll wait

GO PEGGY!

ORNSHAWS UNNAMED FRIEND IS GONNA FINALLY GET HIS BOMB WORKING!

YES

GO ORNSHAWS UNNAMED FRIEND

“i’ll get you ornshaw!” dude how is this his fault its yours for unterupting the wedding latin man

again ouf is the true movie hero

wait latin man is dicks??? whos wannabe remus lupin then????

this just in: ouf is actually named stacey

oh god thats actually such a bittersweet ending

melody and danny trolleying off into the sunset

im actually crying like a baby rn

god that was such a good movie

[v-thinks-on]

Six Feet Apart

Note: Now for something a little bit different. I didn’t expect to write quarantine fic, but I was thinking about how Jeeves and Wooster usually keep a little bit of physical distance between them, and was wondering if actually being forced to keep that distance might change things, and so this happened.

There was no way around it; old Bertram had fallen ill. I went to bed a little early the night before, a little scratchy, perhaps, but no worse for the wear, and woke up feeling like I’d been bowled over by a freight train. I shivered and ached and felt like I was made of lead - all together not a pleasant picture by any means. Now, I’m a usually healthy fellow, but I’d heard from Jeeves - and you know how he keeps up on everything - that the flu wasn’t just in Spain, and it was only a matter of time before it came around to our neck of the woods. I’d already known a couple fellows who fell ill, but they were just some distant acquaintances - uncle of a friend of a cousin sort of thing - I never thought it would come knocking at my door.

But there I was, pilled up under every blanket in the house - Jeeves tells me I had a fever of a hundred and three - hacking up a storm. The doctor was called in post-haste, of course, medicine was doled out, and orders were given that no one was to approach my person unless absolutely necessary for fear of contagion. I would like to hope that Jeeves put up at least a bit of a fight in the old feudal spirit, but in the end, the doctor’s wisdom won out and I was consigned to languish on my lonesome.

To tell the truth, the better part of a week passed in hazy delirium, and even now I only recall a few passing moments and couldn’t tell you if they were real or just dreamed up. But eventually, one morning - or rather late afternoon - I managed to sit up on my own, rubbed the sleep from my eyes, and had the wherewithal to wonder when Jeeves would come in with the oolong.

To my rather indignant surprise, Jeeves did not appear shortly with the oolong. I was eventually greeted by a nurse, who examined me from a distance like I was a pregnant rhinoceros. Her mouth and nose were covered so we didn’t even have to breathe the same air. It was she, I believe, who informed me that, despite my recovery, I was to remain under quarantine for the foreseeable future - at least what felt like the foreseeable future, and a little while beyond it - and that no, Jeeves would not be coming with my morning tea.

I don’t mind a little peace and quiet, but by the time they finally let me out of that flat I had just about gone bad. I never realized just how small it was and it’s never felt quite so miniscule since. That first breath of fresh, unfiltered air, as I stepped out onto the street at long last, was like a breath of life. I strode along, cane in hand, feeling like a new man, beaming and waving at everyone I passed - maybe I had gone a bit barmy, but at the time I didn’t have it in me to care.

My luck had turned, and it wasn’t over yet, because I was just strolling down the way, not a care in the world, when I nearly ran straight into the man I most wanted to see. Of course, Jeeves shimmered out of the way just in time, but I caught him round the shoulder before he had made too much distance between us. Now, I’m generally not a clingy sort. I can entertain myself well enough, and Jeeves and I are usually content to exist with a comfortable distance between us, but after a few weeks of being tip-toed around like Aunt Agatha when she’s on a roll, a fellow can get a little lonely.

“Sir?” he asked in a most disapproving way, but he must not have minded too much, because he didn’t move away.

“They’ve set me free at last!” I proclaimed, steering him toward the park.

“Yes, I am aware,” Jeeves answered drily. “It was my intention to return to the flat and return it to a habitable state.”

I waved it off. “Oh pish! It’s too nice a day to waste inside! You’ve got to tell me about everything I’ve missed while I was locked away.”

“Very well, sir,” Jeeves said, and resigned himself to the perfect weather and my gregarious company.

Eventually we meandered back to the flat, and Jeeves set about tidying up in his usual fashion. I was content to just sit back and watch him work for a while, relishing the sight of everything back in its place. I glanced at the latest paper that Jeeves had been kind enough to fetch for me in town, but it only held my attention for so long. Jeeves had moved on to the kitchen by the time I tossed the paper aside, so I ambled in to join him. I wasn’t a common visitor to Jeeves’s lair, and he seemed a little surprised to see me as I stepped through the doorway that separated his domain from mine.

“Sir?” he said, his attention torn between me and the food cooking on the stove.

“Don’t mind me,” I insisted, “Just wondering what’s for dinner.” I took in a deep breath and it really did smell delish, especially after what felt like ages of living off of whatever I managed to scrounge up. I’d almost forgotten what a real meal tasted like.

“I hope it’s to your liking, sir,” Jeeves said, but he was smiling a little, like he did whenever I finally noticed his latest feat.

“Absolutely!” I exclaimed, drifting a little closer to take it in. I leaned over Jeeves’s shoulder until I nearly bumped up against him and I had a sudden desire to press closer still, but I knew better than to encroach.

As it was, Jeeves glanced my way, but he didn’t seem to mind.

So, I lingered, watching him put the finishing touches on my dinner with well practiced ease. I didn’t dare go near the stove myself; we’d had one early disagreement and that had been the end of that.

At last, Jeeves jarred me back into the present - “Sir, if you would wait in the dining room, I will be out momentarily.”

“Right ho!” I exclaimed, never one to argue, and did as I was bid.

I didn’t have long to wait before Jeeves shimmered out with the daily bread. He laid it all out on the table and asked, “Is there anything else you require, sir?”

“No,” I said, but as he began to fade out just as quietly as he appeared, the whole room started to feel a little sparse and empty - a little less lively without his presence to fill it up, if you see what I mean. So, on a bit of a rummy impulse, I called out, “Jeeves, you could join me, if you wanted to. For dinner, I mean.”

He turned sharply to face me, and for a moment I could have sworn he was going to say yes, but that feeling was gone like a flash. He only said, “Thank you, that’s very generous of you, sir,” before receding into his lair.

Dinner was fine, but after that, I sort of gulped it down. While Jeeves cleared up the table, I meandered over the piano. I had played around a little while I had the place to myself, but it just wasn’t the same.

Now, I started with gusto on one of the old favorites:

“In the land of San Domingo,

“Lived a girl called Oh! by Jingo,

“Ja da Ja da da da da da, ump-a, ump-a, ump-a, ump-a...”

Sure enough, Jeeves came drifting in, looking a little less than pleased.

I finished up the chorus before calling it a wrap. Instead, I asked, “Jeeves, what was that clever song you picked up?” I tried humming a snatch of it, though the old cranium was a little foggy on what it sounded like.

But, of course, Jeeves was undaunted by garbled melodies. With a polite, “If I may?” he sat down beside me at the piano and had it in no time. It was all I could do to keep up with the harmony - though I may have first taken a moment to inch a little closer on the bench.

Jeeves finished with a flourish and I burst into applause. “Brilliant!”

“That’s very kind, sir,” he said with a little bow. He looked rather pleased with himself.

We paused for a little while before the next set. Jeeves looked as fresh as ever, of course, but after all that exertion, I was feeling a little winded - perhaps I wasn’t quite back to my old self after all. I tipped over a little and my head found Jeeves’s shoulder; a nice comfortable place to rest for a moment or so.

For a while, Jeeves didn’t say anything, content as we were, I suppose. I think I may have dozed, because I started a little when he asked, “Sir, is everything alright.”

I forced myself upright, feeling rather top-heavy. “I’d say so,” I attempted. “Just a little tired all of a sudden, but I’ll be right as rain in a jiffy.” At least, that was what I tried to say, but the last word was interrupted by a large yawn.

“I see,” Jeeves said rather dubiously. “I can demonstrate another piece tomorrow, if that would be to your liking.”

I brightened immediately. “I’d say!”

“Very good, sir.” Jeeves pushed back the piano bench a little and got to his feet, but he remained hovering by the piano. “Do you require any assistance?”

I shook my head and braced my hands against the piano bench, readying them to push me to my feet. “I think I’ll be alright. Thank you, Jeeves.”

He wasn’t fooled. But, with a tremendous shove, I managed to get myself upright, and I walked confidently toward the master bedroom with hardly a totter, though my legs felt rather laden. Jeeves drifted after all the while.

I got as far as the tall mirror in the bedroom and began fumbling with my cufflinks, cursing all the many layers of my raiment.

“Might I be of assistance?”

I had nearly forgotten he was there, he’d been so quiet, and jumped a little at the interjection. My wardrobe wasn’t usually so complicated that I needed help with it, but my arms had gone all stiff and heavy, and there was something that seemed rather pleasant about the whole idea after being without Jeeves for so long, so I answered with an enthusiastic, “Righto!”

I held up my wrists and Jeeves efficiently undid the cuffs before taking a step closer and moving on to my waistcoat. Each movement was quick and precise, like everything else Jeeves does. I’ve often thought he could have done a zillion things with that brain of his, and maybe I’d spent too much time surrounded by doctors, but all I could think was that he’d make an incredible surgeon with hands like those, but there he was helping me instead. A thing like that warms a fellows heart. After spending a few long weeks feeling like I was alone in the world, here was Jeeves to remind me I wasn’t alone at all.

He was done in a jiffy and then it was off to bed. I could hardly keep my eyes open as Jeeves covered me in blankets to keep out the chill.

“Good night, sir,” he said, before turning off the light.

“G’night Jeeves.” I fought off the tendrils of Morpheus long enough to say, “It’s good to have you back.”

“It’s good to be back, sir.”

Before he could drift into the other room, I reached out and somehow my hand found his. I just gave it a quick squeeze of a reassuring sort, maybe to assure myself he was there, and then at last, I surrendered to sleep.

[liveforfilms]

Review: The Great Wall – “There is something to be said for the films barmy ambition”

If The Great Wall is a vision of cinema for the future, we have great cause for concern. As a United States-People’s Republic of China co-production, this feels less like a vision of international harmony and more like a case of global superpowers engaging in mutual congratulatory intercourse for the sake of profit. While the noble Chinese […] http://dlvr.it/NPvYpc

[arcade-conspiracy]

They could never make me hate you, bunny girl

[arcade-conspiracy]

The girls 🩷💛