#He’s obsessed with you rather than Marian

[fizzyxcustard]

Imagine Guy of Gisborne is obsessed with you. He tries his hardest just to spend time with you, and for a long time you’re scared of your own feelings and commitment. Then, one day, you give in and allow the floodgates to open.

[mermaidsirennikita]

August 2022 Book Recommendations

I read a lot of books in August 2022. Let's get into the ones I'd recommend.

Deep by Kylie Scott. The last in a series, which can be read as standalones--I hadn't read any before this one, and I did just fine. Liz's older sister Anne just married the drummer for world famous rock band, Stage Dive. Nearly 21, she's in school studying psychology, and is immediately smitten (and obsessed with) the quiet bass player Ben. But despite Liz's dogged pursuit of Ben (who valiantly resists her in an attempt to honor The Bro Code) he genuinely connects with her as a friend. Which is probably why he finally gives in one drunken Vegas night--only for Liz to immediately cut him out of her life when she realizes it's just one night for him. But not really because WHOOPS, there's a babyyyyy. Anyway, this was super fun and quite hot and hit all the buttons that I need for a guilty pleasure. An age gap! (Liz is 21 for most of the book, Ben is 29.). An oops baby! A Gang of Merry Men who actually seem like friends and give Ben shit when he's being a dumbass! A good sister relationship! A scene where the hero gets drunk and is like "OH GOD A BABY" like an emotionally repressed loser! Was it indulgent? Yes. Did I have so much fun? Yes.

Kiss An Angel by Susan Elizabeth Phillips. Daisy is forced into an arranged marriage by her father--but this isn't a historical. Nope, this book takes place in the mid-90s, the era in which it was written, and oh how 90s it is, in the most delicious possible way. A spoiled heiress (the illegitimate daughter of an Ambiguously Criminal Rich Guy and a recently-deceased model), Daisy is meant to stay married for six months to the gruff, annoyed, condescending Alex, for... reasons. "It'll teach her to grow up" lmao okay. But it turns out that Alex is a part of a traveling circus (he has another job, I promise) and he and Daisy are going to follow that circus for the summer, for its last season. This book has everything: a psychic connection to tigers; a jealous ex lover; a jealous delusional teenage girl; CIRCUS BLOODLINES; an elephant in love with the heroine???; and much more. It is... wild. Parts of it won't age well--Alex can be incredibly douchey to Daisy, though at times he does have a point. But it's also very funny, has a rather excellent "take your panties off at this restaurant" moment, and is extremely fun. Also. The grovel is superb.

Accidentally Compromising the Duke by Stacy Reid. Adeline is meant to get engaged to a predatory earl, and in an effort to avoid this fate, decides to "compromise" another man who's interested in her. However, in a bid to avoid an unwanted marriage for herself, her best friend betrays her and sets her up to compromised the cold, widowed Duke of Wolverton, who only wants a stepmother for his daughters. Adele and the duke have instant chemistry, but he's determined not to consummate the marriage... And he fails!!! This one is extremely fun and hot and if you love a hero who can't stand his boner, this is the one for you. The duke's emotional Ihssues honestly make a lot of senses and his grovel is sufficiently grovel-y. Stacy Reid does a hell of a grovel moment, and a hell of an OOPS baby moment.

The Perfect Crimes of Marian Hayes by Cat Sebastian. Marian Hayes is--or was--being blackmailed by a man who claims that her husband, and the father of her infant daughter, was still married when he wed her. Now she's on the run after shooting said husband, and happens to have fallen in with the very blackmailer herself--and he may have a lot more up his sleeve than she realizes. This one is super fun. Bisexual leads! An aversion to penetrative sex! A mother who loves her baby but isn't naturally super maternal! We love to see it. And if you like a touch of femmedom.... Yeah.

Duchess by Day, Mistress by Night by Stacy Reid. Georgiana is the toast of the ton, a widowed duchess--and mother of a young duke--who's upheld as a tastemaker and exemplar of ladylike behavior. But when her son's governess goes missing, she's left with no choice but to hire the man who knows everything about society's secrets, despite living outside of it--Rhys Tremayne. Rhys is determined to take their relationship beyond business, but like--interclass issues. This is a classic interclass romance, with an uptown girl and her bit o' rough. It's not that Georgiana's marriage was super horrible; she doesn't have a tragic backstory (while Rhys does). She's just understandably dissatisfied. What made this a nice change of pace is that Georgiana really is the more "problematic" one here, for all that Rhys is domineering (and more than happy to dominate her in bed). Emotionally, he's a lot more mature than she is, and she has to get to the point where she's willing to risk her reputation.

Wicked in His Arms by Stacy Reid. Livvie is in need of a good husband, and has ended up staying at the estate of the cold, downright rude Earl of Blade during her search. Not that she wants the earl--they despise each other. She hates his haughty and condescending demeanor; he hates that she makes him hard, basically. Which is why it's bad when she happens to follow him into a closet, and he happens to quickly deflower her, and when he's running after her to be all "WAIT STOP AAAAAH" and his mother and sister happen to catch them. Cue a marriage of convenience, but like--he can never love. This was one of my favorite Stacey Reids I've read thus far, simply because Tobias ("Blade" lol I can't) is such a dick. And Livvie is, in turn, fully insane. There is an incident with slugs. There is an incident in which she may or may not call someone out in public. A person might get slapped. They're a great enemies to lovers couples; she makes him too hot for his own good (in his mind), and he frustrates her beyond reason. Also, the hero writes secret mystery novels in this and it is a plot point and that was delightful.

Lick by Kylie Scott. The first book in the Stage Dive series involves our heroine Evelyn waking up in Vegas to find out that she has not only tattooed the name of David Ferris, the guitarist/songwriter for Stage Dive, on her ass; she has also married him after meeting him the night before. Remembering nothing, Evelyn's impulse is to have the marriage annulled, but David seems... kind of about it. And it isn't long before she's reconsidering splitting from the hot, rich rock star guy who writes love songs, which like... yeah. I didn't love this quite as much as Deep, but it was still super fun. It has all the hallmarks of a celebrity romance--he's too famous for me, I'm just a normal girl, he has a past everyone knows about and it's overwhelming--and David is a solid hero. There is some... good sex in this book. And we get a lot of teasing of David's brother, Jimmy, who is a horrible sexual harassing addict, which means that I naturally can't wait for his book. (From what IIIIIII understand, Jimmy is the one who deserves the "Lick" title.)

How to Marry a Marquess by Stacy Reid. Richard, the newly-minted Marquess of Westfall, and Evie have been friends ever since the night he told her how to evade an engagement she didn't want. Over the years, much has changed. Westfall discovered and claimed his illegitimate daughter, making himself an outcast in society. Evie has fallen hopelessly in love with him. But a relationship is out of the question for him, in part because he's sure that Evie would ultimately be miserable as a social pariah. For Evie, the only logical choice is to tell Westfall she needs lessons on seducing an entirely different man. And he does indeed bite (yes). So this one is EXTREMELY angsty, which, I've discovered, is the only logical way to do friends to lovers. The only way to make it work is if both characters desperately want each other and live in an uncomfortable impasse because reasons. And Westfall is a total asshole, so I did love him; but Evie's not without her own issues. Westfall is like, a sanctimonious social justice marquess. But while a weaker book would've just left him that way, Reid actively calls him the fuck out--and so does Evie. The tension is also just like... extremely hot. He breaks, but this is one of the few books that sold me on the tension being (almost) as good as the follow through. Great angst, great grovel, great "we're best friends and we had spontaneous sex and now it's awkward so I'm going to go kill myself by being outside in the rain".

Between the Devil and Desire by Lorraine Heath. Olivia, Duchess of Lovingdon, is shocked when her husband not only suddenly dies but leaves his estate--and the guardianship of their only child--to Jack Dodger, a reprobate who runs a gambling hell. Jack barely knew Lovingdon, let alone Olivia, and now her son and her own safety are in his hands. And he's also extremely combatively hot, which makes it a bigger issue. This book FUCKS. Not just in that there is sex, obviously (and a particularly fabulous garden scene in which he comes so hard that he literally doesn't have the wherewithal to run after her in a timely manner after she runs away) but in the drama, the conflict, the interplay between the characters. Jack has an extremely dark backstory, as a heads up--about as dark as it can get. But the emotionality and intensity of that backstory is balanced with his rather hilarious conflict with Olivia, which is enemies to lovers by way of "she is so messed up about being aroused by him". It's a delicious book with a fuck you up twist that isn't for the faint of heart. No notes. Lorraine Heath excellence.

When the Earl Met His Match by Stacy Reid. Phoebe, sister of the Marquess of Westfall, is in trouble. After her parents paid off the man who deflowered her to leave her alone, she's left to deal with her pregnancy by herself. Her mother wants her to give up her child to a baby farm, and she takes the second option--to run away to Scotland and marry the stranger she's been conversing with by letter for months since he first advertised for a wife. But he isn't who she expected--Hugh Winthrop is the heir to an earldom, needs a wife to integrate his scandalous family back into high society, and cannot speak. The two enter into a marriage of convenience, with Hugh offering to claim her child--but to never give her love. This one was so good. It's softer than the other Stacy Reid books I've read. Hugh has issues with expressing love (to be clear: he can speak, just with sign language, which Phoebe learns to ease communication) but he's a deeply good guy, and clearly is smitten with Phoebe from day one. He steps the fuck up. The conflict in the book doesn't... totally gel with what we know of Westfall from his book, but it didn't take away from it either. This book also has some of the best angsty, angry sex I've ever read, so. Points.

The Madness of Viscount Atherbourne by Elisa Braden. Victoria is the diamond of her season, engaged to marry a man she doesn't really care about either way, when she was is taken out on the terrace and thoroughly seduced by the new Viscount of Atherbourne. We're talking tits out, coming in full view of society. Matters get worse when it's revealed that Atherbourne very much intended for this to happen in revenge against Victoria's older brother, Harrison, who shot the viscount's older brother dead in a duel (which had to do with another sin!). With no choice but to marry Atherbourne, Victoria is cut off from her beloved brothers and alienated by her husband--despite the fact that they're quite into each other. This book was quite good, though not quite as good as Every Yours, Annabelle. There's a great deal of angst, of course, but Elisa Brade also adds a great deal of humor to the whole thing, which keeps Lucien, our hero, from being insufferable. You can kind of figure what's happening fairly early on in the book, but it's more about Lucien realizing how much he needs to get over the past and move forward with Victoria. The ending could've been bigger, but I still found it satisfying, and I'm very excited to read Harrison's book--the best part of this novel was honestly a comment about how he killed Atherbourne's brother the same way he did everything else--efficiently. I love an efficient man.

Surrender to the Devil by Lorraine Heath. Frannie Darling was raised as the only girl among Feagin's pack of kids, and despite being a remarkable pickpocket, she wasn't able to avoid the brutality of growing up on the streets. Though she's turned down proposals from a couple of the boys she grew up with, Frannie is more intrigued by a proposition from the Duke of Greystone--even if he offers her nothing more than an affair. This book was somewhat tame by Lorraine Heath standards. There is, of course, a lot of angst--both Frannie and her hero, Sterling, have serious issues to confront. (Frannie, like Jack Dodger, had basically the worst possible backstory.). Much of the book, however, deals not so much with Frannie's trauma but her insistence on being treated like an adult, without condescension, by Sterling. And I loved that so much. It's a lovely romance, one that gave me a lot of emotion... and though I wish that I'd read the books in order, the fact that the heroine of When the Duke Was Wicked is Sterling and Frannie's daughter made it even better.

Midnight Pleasures with a Scoundrel by Lorraine Heath. Eleanor Watkins is on a mission to avenge the death of her sister, who was grievously mistreated by a marquess. After being alerted to her potential intentions by the lord, Scotland Yard Inspector James Swindler begins following Eleanor, beginning a game of cat and mouse that has outcomes neither expect. Listen--I've heard critiques of this book, and different strokes for different folks but it totally worked for me because it is APESHIT. One of the most Lorraine Heath plot twists... I have ever read. It is bonkers, in several ways. James Swindler is less alpha than the other Scoundrels of St. James series, but I actually really enjoyed his relationship with Eleanor; the romance was almost secondary to how fucking wild the plot became, but I still enjoyed it. Two wounded people trying to make the best of things works for me.

Run, Run Rabbit by C.M. Nascosta. Vanessa and Grayson are trial lawyers in Cambric Creek; he's her asshole boss from a privileged, connected family, and she's the new hire he's coldly dismissive of. They are also werewolves, because this is Cambric Creek, and all Vanessa wants is to get absolutely railed by the man she despises most. Again, because they are werewolves, Grayson can smell exactly how wet she is all the time, and this leads to a semi-toxic, semi-lovely back and forth of fucking each other like crazy every full moon, while not committing to a normal, healthy relationship. So this is not a typical romance for me, not only because it's not historical, but because it's more on the "happy for now" scale than a "happily ever after" ending--as a heads up. I fully believe Grayson and Vanessa will stay together, even if they may need years of couples' therapy, but some may disagree. This is one of the hottest books I've ever read, and I don't want to interrogate what that says about me or my personal interests. I do love a werewolf moment, and this is.... full werewolfitude. Like, he's smelling her arousal, he's fucking her in his office, they're fucking while they're in werewolf form, they're fucking while he's in his werewolf form and she's a human, they're fucking while he's wearing a wolf headdress thing in an ancient primal chase party. Again, Grayson can be a total dick to Vanessa--and honestly? Vanessa can be a total dick to Grayson. They are not monogamous; there is a particularly excellent scene where he is getting blown by two other women and she starts making out with him before taking over. If that kind of shit is not for you--don't read it. If it is fo you--definitely read it. I personally cannot wait to read the next Cambric Creek book in which Grayson's disaster brother starts fucking some human lady to get her pregnant. Because werewolves are potent. Cheers to that shit.

The Truth About Cads and Dukes by Elisa Braden. Lady Jane Huxley is not considered a catch--she's fat, plain, and a hopelessly shy bookworm. She's easy prey for wastrel Colin Lacey's tricks, and what was meant to be assistance for a friend ends with her being hopelessly ruined. Fortunately, Colin's older brother Harrison--and the catch of the season, the Duke of Blackmore--is hopelessly honorable, and marries Jane in order to save her from scandal. The issue? For all that Jane is a romantic reader, Harrison is cold and stern. And you know what "stern" means... Look, this was great. I may like it even more than my first Elisa Braden read, Ever Yours, Annabelle. It's quite funny to read about Jane bumbling through marriage, innocently turning Harrison at every moment. This man was struggling and when he gave up on that struggle the scenes were intense. The plot is not super unique; Jane is a snarky virgin who gets in a little over her head with an angsty husband who doesn't know how to love. But Braden's execution is its strength. It's so funny AND sexy AND old school in a sense. Like, there's a scene where this man is fucking the shit out of her and she's calling him "Your Grace" in her ecstatic cries and he stops to be like "please call me by my first name, this is getting weird". I was losing my mind. This book also does have one of the best love confessions I've ever read, so. I'm a fan.

A Merry Little Meet Cute by Julie Murphy and Sierra Simone (releases 9/20). Read my review here.

The Devil Is a Marquess by Elisa Braden. Tall and freckled, half-American and determined to go to America and become a tradeswoman, Charlotte is not of interest to most men of the ton. But her father is determined for her to marry and gain a title, and so he approaches the debt-ridden, alcoholic Benedict Chatham, Marquess of Rutherford. So financially stressed that he's resorted to selling his body to rich women (this-was-excellent) Benedict agrees to marry Charlotte, and makes another deal with her father behind her back. But as the two form a genuine friendship, he begins to question if he's getting in her way. This one was just really good. Benedict is a genuinely problematic hero who needs to grow a fuckton--his alcoholism isn't glossed over, though the book maintains a lighter touch as most Elisa Braden novels do. I really appreciated the degree of real friendship that grew in the marriage before Benedict and Charlotte actually made a move on each other; that's difficult to balance, but the edge between the two of them never left. Sometimes, I think that these "he gets better" books can dip into the woman doing so much to improve the man while he gives little in return.... But that's not the case here. Also--the sex in this book is insanely hot, and hilariously handled. Shoutout to the scene where the maid tries to save Charlotte by telling her dad's lawyer that she sees the lord of the house grab her and take her into rooms and then the next thing you know she's screaming for mercy from God and shit. That will... live forever in my heart. Elisa Braden GETS me. In a lot of ways, I think Elisa is kind of the heir to Tessa Dare--and that's not a bad place to be in at all.

How the Wallflower Was Won by Eva Leigh (releases 9/27). Read my review here.

[wickedheadache]

"I mean if this Marian died, all would be well, wouldn't it?"

And Regina's first reaction is to nod. Because how Rumplestiltskin thinks is how she's used to think. It's why her first plan was to kill Marian before realizing that that wouldn't actually solve anything. On a surface level of the issue: if Marian's gone, that means she'll have Robin all to herself, which in her eyes means she'll have her happy ending. But if you look deeper, you can see that the problem is that Regina can't be happy, in her eyes, because she's a villain, but in reality, because she doesn't know how happy even looks like.

Or, maybe it's the opposite. She knows how happy looks like, and that's it. All she has is her imagined ideal of a happy ending, of what made her happy decades ago and what she sees makes other people happy. And all she can do is try to imitate that in hopes that it'll be the same for her. Which is why she jumps into a relationship with Robin so fast, and why she puts all of her hope into it. Robin is more of a symbol to her, of the happiness she's looking for, rather than an actual person she truly loves.

She's so obsessed with the idea of her true love, Robin, her last chance at happiness, that she's blind to all the ways Robin fails to achieve this standard (as would anyone, really) and all the ways he's been contributing to her misery instead of relieving her of it.

[syeunko]

Great Circle

In an effort to document more of my reads, I will post at least one book review a month. My January read~

Synopsis: "At a young age, Marian Graves becomes obsessed with flying, and she’ll do whatever it takes to get into the sky and circumnavigate the globe, including forging a relationship with a wealthy bootlegger. She knows her dream will come at a cost, but just how much is she willing to give up? Fast forward 100 years, and Hadley Baxter is remaking herself in Hollywood as the role of Marian Graves in a Hollywood bio-epic."

My rating: 4/5. I found Marian's story to be more interesting, and all the flying details bogged down the momentum of the novel for me, but the writing was good and I appreciated the nuanced depictions of both characters' complexity. (one more so than the other)

“He is a quiet drunk but an ardent one.”

"Bravery at the poles seems appealingly simple. If you go there, or try to, you are brave."

"'I told you I have a sister? Kate? I wish I could hold her life in my hands like an egg, make everything good for her. It's a burden - the wish itself, and the fact it's impossible.' 'That's what I mean. Things might be better without anyone to worry about.' He leans forward, his folded arms sliding on the table. 'That's not true. That would be the most terrible loneliness.'"

"People thought being twins made them the same, but it was balance, not sameness, she felt with him. That night in their cots on the sleeping porch, she asked, 'Why do you think he gambles? we'd be fine for money if only he wouldn't.' 'I don't think he means to,' came Jamie's voice in the dark. 'I don't think he can help it.' 'You wouldn't think it'd be so hard to stop throwing your money away.' 'I think he's after the thrill.' 'What thrill? He never wins.' 'And if he quits he never will, either. I think he likes to hope.' 'Hope shouldn't be so expensive.'

"True, she would likely abandon him one day soon, but he would rather endure that loss than inflict it."

“I’d like to think I will remember this particular moon, seen from the particular angle of this balcony on this night, but if I forget, I will never know that I’ve forgotten, as is the nature of forgetting. I’ve forgotten so much—almost all I’ve seen. Experience washes over us in great waves. Memory is a drop caught in a flask, concentrated and briny, nothing like the fresh abundance from which it came.”

“I want love but not a wife, not yet. I want drink but not dissolution. I want momentum but not to careen. I suppose what I want is some kind of equilibrium, but I suppose I want the thrill of tipping back and forth, too. Do you know what I mean? Maybe not—you’ve always been one for single-minded pursuit. ”

“My brother, an artist, said what he wished to convey in his paintings was a sense of infinite space. He knew this task to be impossible, as, even if a canvas could accommodate such a concept, our minds seem incapable of grasping it. But he said he believed, most of the time, that an unachievable intention was the worthiest kind. My flight has as its stated intention a plain and, I believe, achievable goal, but that intention has arisen from my own inherently unachievable desire to understand the scale of the planet, to see as much as can be seen. I wish to measure my life against the dimensions of the planet.”

“'I’ll let you go in the morning. You know I will.' 'It’s as easy as that?' 'It doesn’t matter what’s easy,' he said. 'There’s just what you do and what you don’t do.'”

"She surprises herself with her own earnestness as she reaches up to grip Marian’s shoulders, shakes her gently as she says, “You must do everything you can to remember. Not just what you see, but what it means. To you.”

"It doesn’t make sense,” she says to Eddie from inside her sleeping bag, “but sometimes my brother’s death gives me courage. I catch myself thinking that if he could die, if he could endure it, so can I, though obviously I have no choice, and it’s not something anyone endures. In fact it’s the opposite.”

"And yet, and yet, and yet."

"She’d told him, in Hawaii, that she envied how he’d found a place that quelled his restlessness. She had not thought she would ever find such a place for herself, but in New Zealand, she does. Perhaps her peace is inherent to the land, or perhaps she has simply exhausted herself. She longs to fly an airplane again, but she doesn’t long to see over the horizon. And she feels she must make sacrifices in atonement for her survival, for leaving Eddie. She will not fly. She will not know Jamie’s daughter."

"And then I must have slipped back into being Marian Graves because, for a second, I felt free."