#I DIDN'T MEAN TO HAVE SOURCES IN HERE I WAS JUST DIGGING IN THE QUOTE DOCUMENT FOR THE END QUOTE

[whoslaurapalmer]

asoue but one of the lemonberry ice (your choice) dies before the fire

Kam Why Would You Break My Heart Like This!!!!!

it's not that i intended to pick lemony but lemony was the one i immediately had a thought for and i don't know if i have the thoughts to re-puzzle canon together with the absence of bea or bertrand before the fire, SO

well, right off the bat, the books aren't written. barely anyone knows he's really truly dead because they think he's already been dead for some time. lemony is not alive to set the story straight, he's not alive to mourn and remember his friends, he's not alive to help clear his name, he's not alive to reveal secrets about vfd. he's not alive to help babybea reunite with the baudelaires post-canon.

i think canon is different. i have an idea of how it goes but i am concerned it is, assuming too much about certain points. but. i think, if lemony dies for real before the fire, the kids are taken by vfd.

-we know the kids have been photographed (the end pg 107-108, carnivorous carnival pg 141). we know vfd photographs children before they are taken (unauto). we don't know the intended recipient of the photograph, but we know a 'quick-thinking waitress' shenanigans the photograph from being served in the restaurant and into the alley, where lemony is waiting. i think we can say the kids are being watched by vfd (by some form, some faction, of vfd) and that lemony intercepts this particular photograph taken of them. -what we don't know is why the kids weren't taken anytime before the start of the series. -we all also have different ideas of how involved b+b were in vfd after their marriage, but that passage from the end also reveals that beatrice is still involved in vfd work in some way, so let's say b+b were, at the least, Minorly Involved In Fragmentary Plot Machinations, But Definitely At A Distance From The Rest Of VFD. -maybe b+b are the buffer between vfd and their children. -or maybe it was lemony. -maybe vfd has still been watching the kids this whole entire time, just waiting. -maybe lemony has been, when he can, protecting the children from vfd and intercepting a majority of vfd's surveillance of them. -in canon, dewey suggests that the children were taken, just by olaf instead of vfd (penultimate peril pg 178-184). -and if lemony isn't there to intercept vfd's surveillance, maybe here they are taken by vfd instead of olaf.

-do the baudelaires still go to the guardians? hmmmm. -you can make a case that they could still meet monty, re: the debate about if peru was vfd-related, if monty's herpetological society involvement itself connects to vfd -but while we know josephine is in vfd, i have a harder time making a case that she's still involved in vfd at this point in canon. ike's death has shattered her in a way that i think she's hiding not just from the world but from vfd. -but the idea that vfd is shuffling them between the guardians like chaperones...........i DO like that (-mr poe, in the background, constantly trying to find these kids and just narrowly missing them every single time as vfd moves them around: my goodness, this is a problem.) -i don't think this means the kids are immediately like pro-vfd either though, like i think especially going into it when they're older, with sunny, keeps their 'is this a good organization?' moral wondering, even if they might have access to a little more information. -but i also like the idea of kit being their chaperone. -and they would definitely meet jacques as well -- he wouldn't be searching for them. -olaf, though, is definitely still after the kids, and it might even be easier for him to get closer to them, bc he knows how vfd works and the kids are in vfd. maybe even more deaths, bc olaf has Had It with vfd's involvement -oh, some disguise shenanigans, though. they're all using THE SAME DAMN DISGUISE KIT.

-how does it end..................... -i think penultimate peril is even more of a climax. even more, uh, peril. i'm not sure how though.

[haysaca]

Argus and her recurrent toxic yuris

Finished 2.1, was a fun ride, I think I have a few thoughts in mind but rn the most prevalent one is: Damn, I did NOT expect argus and tuesday to be more toxic than valenweis. So have a compilation of my reactions I guess.

Sheesh girlie is actually just taunting her to the extreme and I didn't even include her whole jab at her candy reliance. This is legit the perfect pair for the hatesex trope.

Like for a moment, I even thought tuesday was implying she banged and stole kayla here lmao

(its canon, poor argus got ntr'd, source is me I swear I'm not just delusional)

She just insulted her outta nowhere lmao. Though a delusional mind (not me) can interpret this as tuesday wanting to break argus down to tears.

Girl was actually rendered speechless 😭😭 Sorry tuesday she does not match your freak at all!!

She cannot be tamed at all and she's so real for that ngl. I'm so glad they went all out on her lack of fear/fear is her kink because I just absolutely adore unapologetic villains and she's definitely one, or rather a pretty good psychopath since she doesn't really care much for people, only their fears (I think, I haven't seen her story yet). Anyways argus made the right decision to dip, she CANNOT handle her freak.

That's about it for this toxic pair but I wanna talk about kayla too since I feel like she ain't a much better option for argus considering yknow, her identity and affiliations 😭

I know this is just an illusion by the motel but it'd be so fucked up if their relationship was actually this toxic, like the motel digs up stuff from their memories so this insecurity or perception of kayla had to come somewhere from deep inside argus' mind.

What's worse is, she could be right, considering kayla is a top tier of manus fucking vindictae 😭. Poor girl has insecurities of being wielded like a mindless tool, tries to assure herself that the woman shes pining and looking for is not that, only for said woman to be avoiding her because shes already served her purpose for her (I think, we'll see in argus' story I guess).

Though it could be a more mutual angsty case if we interpret kayla's smile as a sign she considers argus as more than that, maybe a pet instead :P (have high doubts she actually reciprocates her feelings the same way).

Poor argus cannot escape scummy women, hope she'll find happiness in vertin's suitcase because let's be fr she's joining us.

Also I absolutely love this particular quote because it's not just a jab at argus' trust issues but also an indirect one at her insecurity in her own image, her fear of hesitating, failing and being seen as incompetent (I think she has them? otherwise i don't really know what the townspeople in her hallucination are meant to signify).

Ok one last thought: I think argus' best shot for a happy yuri out of the entire 2.1 cast is legit with Ms. Karen Kimberly over here.

Because as hostile as their interactions are, their dynamic was pretty funny and nice compared to tuesday's harassment.

They radiate big bully x dumb bimbo energy, a pretty classic and tame rivalry dynamic. Kimberly's also the one with the least malicious/mean intentions towards argus, she doesn't want to harm or even use her, she just wants to eat!

So long as they take the time to talk it out and not point lethal weapons at each other, I'm sure they could get along in some way (looking at you argus, put that gun down and listen to your heart more, you big softie).

Alright that's about it for my ramble on argus and her misfortune with women, shoutout to @jeremy_exe on twitter for cooking up the only anjoargus art I've seen so far.

[koreanbibliophilegirl]

Part three of incorrect quotes for my dsmp superpower AU wee woo

(Credit: Quotes are from ScatterPatter's Incorrect Quotes Generator!)

-

(At a restaurant)

Sam: You guys should get the orange soda, it's amazing.

Ponk: Okay.

Waiter: Can I get you guys anything to drink?

Sam: Orange soda, please!

Ponk: I'll have the strawberry soda.

Hannah: Me too, strawberry soda.

Sam:

-

Niki: While I'm gone, Tommy, you're in charge.

Tommy: Yes!!!

Niki, whispering: Bad, you're secretly in charge.

Bad: Obviously.

-

Aimsey: Would you stab your best friend in the leg for 10 million primes?

Tommy, turning to Tubbo: You stab me, and then when my leg gets better, we buy a big-a** house.

Tubbo: You can stab me too, then we'll have 20 million.

Tommy: Good thinking.

-

Ranboo: I trust Tubbo.

Techno: You think he knows what he's doing?

Ranboo: I wouldn't go that far.

-

(After Techno offers to coach Benchtrio in vigilante-ing)

Tommy: So, what, now I'm just supposed to do anything that Technoblade does? I mean, what if he jumped off a cliff?

Ranboo, who works with Techno at the library: If Techno were to jump off a cliff, he would've done his due diligence regarding the height of the cliff, the depth of the water, and the angle of entry, so yes. If you see Techno jump off a cliff, by all means, jump off a cliff.

Tommy: You jump off a cliff!

Ranboo: Gladly. Provided Techno did first.

-

Foolish: Eret, what do IDK, ILY, and TTYL mean?

Eret: I don't know, I love you, talk to you later.

Foolish: Oh okay then, I love you too. I'll just ask Tina.

-

Store Worker: Would a Mr. Bedwars please come to the front desk?

Purpled, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?

Store Worker: (Points to Quackity and Punz)

Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?

Q and Punz: We got lost :(

Purpled: I didn't even bring you guys here with me-

-

Foolish: I can't believe you live nearby, and you won't let anyone crash at your place.

Punz, desperately trying to keep his mafia status a secret from Foolish, trying and failing to come off as casually joking: You people already know too much about me.

Sam, who lowkey suspects Punz is mafia: I know exactly three facts about you, and one of them is that you won't let any of us crash at your place.

-

Tubbo: Dandelions symbolize everything I want to be in life.

Purpled: Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind?

Tubbo: Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. B*st*rdous. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried far after I die.

Hannah: Edible.

-

Bad: Three words. Say them and I'm yours.

Skeppy: Three words.

Bad:

-

Ant: Date someone who will drag you outside at 3am to look at the stars.

Ponk: If anyone, and I mean anyone, wakes me up at 3am to go look at the d*mn sky they will be removed indefinitely from my life.

-

Sam: Remember when you didn't try to solve all your problems with attempted murder?

Ant: Stop romanticizing the past.

-

Kristin: This is bothering me.

Velvet, abusing his Ghost Powers™️ and floating on his stomach next to her head: Well, you are digging up a corpse.

Kristin: No, not that. That's, uh, pretty par for the course, actually.

-

Tubbo: I think I'm having a mid-life crisis.

Technoblade: You're 16 years old.

Tubbo: I MIGHT DIE AT 30!

-

George: I slept for almost 12 hours, but I might still be tired, so lets go for 12 more just in case.

Sapnap: George, that's a coma.

George: Sounds festive.

-

Ponk, looking over Hannah's wing, ripped and shoddily sewn up years ago: How would you rate your pain?

Hannah, traumatized and emotionally scarred at the loss of something that had been taken for granted her entire life: Zero stars. Would NOT recommend.

-

Sam: Stop buying plastic skeletons for Halloween! It's terrible for the environment!

Kristin: Yeah! Locally sourced, all natural skeletons are much more environmentally friendly!

-

Phil: WHAT'S YOUR TYPE

Techno, bleeding out and mildly delirious, attempting to joke: Anything, honestly, but nerds especially.

Phil, desperately: YOUR BLOOD TYPE.

Techno: Ohhh. B positive.

Phil: DON'T TRY TO CHEER ME UP JUST TELL ME YOUR BLOOD TYPE

Techno:

-

Sam: Sorry it took me so long to bail you out of jail.

Boomer: No, it's my fault, I shouldn't have used my one phone call to prank call the police.

-

Ant: You kill people for money?!

Punz: I can explain!

Ant: And all this time I've been doing it for free like a chump!

-

Wilbur, who just came home: So what's for dinner?

Fundy, staring at the sourdough bread he somehow, SOMEHOW, burnt: Regret.

-

Niki, going over Tommy's resume: Okay, so right here, it states that you're creative.

Tommy: Yes.

Niki: Okay... may I know what you create?

Tommy: Problems.

-

[Part 1] [Part 2]

[raxistaicho]

Red Lady turns blue!

Saw a goofy take the other day by our old friend, Strikes:

How could you, Edelgard! :( We trusted yooooooooooou...

Luckily, they're all in picture format, so there's no real argument to debunk here, just a bunch of attempted gotchas.

"EdeIgard would have stopped Nemesis! She would have hated him!"

Honestly I'm not sure if I've ever heard that one spoken like that? It's not usually something that comes up unless one of her detractors is trying to argue she's like him, thinks he's a hero, or would join him.

Anyways,

Uhm? How dare Edelgard get confused when Nemesis is described in a way she hasn't ever heard before?

The funny thing is I use this exact quote as a debunk of the common claim that Edelgard got her history of Fodlan from the Agarthans, because if that theory is true, holy shit is Thales ever careless, revealing the truth to her like this.

Rhea: (Conceals the truth of what happened between her and Nemesis.)

Edelcrits: How dare Bad Red Lady incorrectly describe what happened between Rhea and Nemesis!

This isn't even her praising Nemesis, it's just her pointing out how both Byleth and Nemesis wielded the Sword of the Creator and stand against the Nabateans, the ones who would distort history, which Rhea and Seteth both worked to do.

"EdeIgard didn't want to kill Rhea! She just wanted her to surrender, Rhea forced her hand!"

Watch, this is gonna be "Edelgard says mean things!" while totally ignoring Edelgard's actions.

Edelgard thinks - and she's proven right - that Rhea would never surrender and accept a peaceful resolution to their conflict.

And here we get to mean things. Edelgard's dramatic.

How dare Edelgard be glad that she won and can now begin the long work of reforming Fodlan.

How dare Edelgard acknowledge that she must fight her enemies in battle.

"EdeIgard isn't racist! She just hates Rhea for what she's done!"

Oh this one's totally gonna be mean things.

Humanity, as in, not gods.

Racism is when you want to end a false religion and return freedom to the people.

So here's a funny thing: the localization botched the meaning of this line (shocker).

Here, she's not speaking from her own perspective, she's describing the conflict between Nemesis and Seiros:

(Source)

Also the bit about "masquerading as a human" was a creation of the localization. Thank you, treehouse.

(and featuring our guest star, Hubert!)

Oh Hubert, not you too :(

Who's next, Dorothea? Is she gonna admit to having been in a church choir and not the opera at all!? How deep does it goooooo

Fuck I don't even know where this is from :I

(Does some digging)

Okay so Treehouse kinda screwed up some of the verbage here. It's not so much that they made it inaccurate as they made it unclear - and Strikes is cutting out context, go fucking figure.

So Hubert's accusing the Church of Seiros of hypocrisy, of saying one thing and doing another. In the original JP, Byleth can reply,

Sometimes you must tell others to do what you yourself can’t do

Or,

You’re right

To the first, Hubert replies,

That is true, Professor. However, that is a principle for humans.

And to the second,

Yes, although humans must sometimes preach things they cannot do…

He then follows with,

It is not a principle for inhuman beings, with lifespans much longer than that of humans. That’s why we chose to fight based on human principles.

From this, he's saying the Nabateans have no excuse for committing the same foibles that humans do because they're immortal beings who should know and do better. This is in keeping with the start of that bit, where he says,

If it is between love and hate, then I would choose the latter. The goddess failed to properly govern this world. That is why it is necessary for Lady Edelgard to become the supreme leader of Fódlan.

Or, to summarize it, his whole argument is, "The gods have failed to be godly, so humanity must take responsibility in their stead."

Which is completely true. Rhea, despite her attachment to the divine, is prone to the same failures as the humans she lives over and should know better than, being a millennia old. She's untrusting, obsessed with reclaiming the past, stubborn, inflexible, and prone to excessive negative reactions to any sign of pushback.

(Source)

I'm glad Strikes brought that up, that was legitimately interesting!

"EdeIgard started her war for the people!"

Oh no, she's not gonna reveal that she did everything for Bellerophon, is she?

This is nearly five years after she began the war, and after the Church of Seiros and the Kingdom have made it plain that a peaceful ending is not in the cards, but okay.

It's like they think we don't understand she intends to bring all of Fodlan under her banner. Yeah, she is, for the sake of reforming all Fodlan and not just the Empire.

"EdeIgard tries to spare everyone she faces!"

Watch we're gonna see Judith! We're gonna see Judith, guys! Strikes loves bringing up Judith!

Mean things again. This one's even worse given Edelgard also expresses a desire not to kill Rhea and tries to offer her a surrender.

Eeeeeyyyyyy, it's Judith!

We've been over this one. Judith didn't surrender, she was trying to retreat.

"Won't somebody please think of the generals :("

"The grunts can fuck off though"

Edelgard knows what Faerghus's culture is like, and she knows peace is impossible while Dimitri lives and wants to keep fighting her. Dimitri might be naive enough to think he can just make peace with Edelgard at the end of AM, but she's a little more worldly than him.

"CF is about fighting fate!"

This has kinda already gotten long enough, but it's just a set of points where Edelgard talks about her "fate". Again, Edelgard's dramatic. She also chose this path for herself.

So, in conclusion, you're off the hook this time, Edelgard (and Hubert), but I'll be keeping an eye on you. Don't you betray us now, not after four years :(

[kozykricket]

What if the Galarian legendary birds are... convergent?!

So, I made a half-assed post on this earlier, but I'd like to go into more detail Everyone has talked (in detail, I'm definitely not the first to cover how weird they are) about how the Galarian forms of Articuno, Zapdos, and Moltres make no sense, especially being called the darn same names, despite their primary typings not even being ice, electric, or fire... only being stretched to fit the bill of ice/electric/fire with: -A cold personality -Thunderous speed and kicks -An aura of raging fire

So perhaps those names make a little sense, given those descriptions, but STILL, that's obviously a big stretch... and they don't make very much sense within lore, even for Pokémon standards. (Of course, that's very much intended to be the case (that they don't make sense) as you'll see) Let's dig into why they are what they are, and sprinkle in some of my own theory.

So, what do we know? Well, right off the bat, the official site for sword and shield says "Legendary Pokémon bearing strong resemblances to Articuno, Zapdos, and Moltres have been spotted in the Crown Tundra. These Pokémon seem to bear Ice-type, Electric-type, and Fire-type characteristics, respectively, and so were previously thought to be the same as the Articuno, Zapdos, and Moltres seen in other regions. But recently, data gathered from reported sightings and other sources about the Pokémon have bolstered the theory that they are, in fact, distinct variants." So sure, case closed, they're just regional variants that people mistook for being the same Pokemon. thats all. They're just named because they seemed to have similar characteristics... or do they? If you aren't convinced, lets dig deeper. First, take note of "so were previously thought to be the same as the Articuno, Zapdos, and Moltres seen in other regions." Next, after you catch each of them, Peony takes a look at them, and notes how they aren't cold, electrifying, or hot in any way. I'll just quote what he says about Moltres.

"So that's Moltres, is it? The Legendary Pokémon that's the embodiment of fire? I definitely see the resemblance, but it's not at all hot to the touch... Kinda looks like it'd be more at home with the punks in Spikemuth than in a volcano, doesn't it? Oh well! Looks a bit like it's burnin' if you don't look too close!"

Their descriptions are just an attempt at justifying the accidental naming of them. "Oh yeah, articuno? uh... it has quite a cold glare and demeanor" sure yeah.

Now that's quite interesting. He says similar things about all of them, saying its "enough Articuno/Zapdos/Moltres for me!" essentially. So are they really related at all? Well for those who read the Pokédex, you get even more hints that they really aren't related to the legendary birds. It attempts to, just as the people have, justify in odd ways why they're called what they are From the Pokédex: "Known as Articuno," "is what inspired the name Moltres" "That’s why this Pokémon is called Zapdos." I think what we have here is convergent Pokémon being discovered by people who didn't really know what the heck a convergent Pokémon was - I mean, if you saw these birds from far away, you'd probably think they were the same since they look SO similar! People just began to call these 'mons the same as the other ones, not realizing they were different species. It's like if no one really got a clear look at a wiglett, and just assumed it was a very shy diglett that likes beaches! Right, thats exactly what the official site says... yet it also calls them vairants... well, I don't think you'd be able to study legendary Pokémon very easily, especially cruel, malevolent, violent ones at that... ...and of course in terms of game logic, this could have very well been a tease at convergent 'mons, and they didn't want to invent it quite yet. So, are they convergent? How do legendaries even come into being in the first place? Am I missing the deep lore on how the Bird Trio was created and this makes no sense? Eh, IMO it makes about as much sense as them being variants. Pokémon lore is weird, and I think this headcanon is very fun, and likely to be true. To end off, I'd like to perhaps challenge you all to give them unique names. I'll reveal my naming scheme and my chosen names right below this

I think for convergent mons, some of the original name should be intact - in my case, I wanted to keep the uno, dos, tres in tact, and combine their Cruelness, Malevolence, and... strong legs? Yeah, zapdos is kinda silly. Ahem: Espicuno (ESP) or Crudicuno (Crude) Maltres (malevolent) Sturdos (strong? sturdy?) or Dexdos (dexterity)

But feel free to reblog with your own names, or thoughts on this. this was kinda... fumbled together with me going back and forth, the overall pacing of this post is sort of a mess... but its still got The Facts, even if they're scattered about. my point stands that its a fun headcanon :p

[yemilnisu]

INCORRECT HAIKYUU QUOTES FROM BUZZFEED UNSOLVED

nisu entries:

i got this idea from @memekingofwwiii and some of it are theirs 🙇🏻‍♀️ thank you for letting me add it here 😊 it’s a mixture from buzzfeed unsolved supernatural and true crime 👀 i really had fun doing this!

warning: swearing, mentions of death/murder/killing/blood/weed

「part 2」

Tendou: i did have a neighbor who had an overhang of a lime tree, and it was great because i could go pick a little lime.

Ushijima: did you ever think about killing your neighbor?

Tendou: when he didn't give me limes, yeah.

Ushijima: oh, okay; all right.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Matsukawa: this is my bridge now, if you want it back you’re gonna have to kill me.

Oikawa: he did throw someone off the bridge once.

Matsukawa: fuck you, goatman!

Oikawa: Jesus Christ.

Kunimi: *behind the camera snickering as mattsun taunts the goatman much to oikawa’s dismay*

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Matsukawa: hey demons, it’s me, ya boi.

Matsukawa: if you want to eat my heart, turn that light on. If you want to eat oikawa’s heart, turn that light on...

Oikawa: don’t drag me into your shit, mattsun.

*torch turns on*

Oikawa: *screams*

Matsukawa: *laughs hysterically as he continues to lie on the pentagram*

Kunimi: *actual wheezing*

Matsukawa: i think this demon’s a wimp.

Oikawa: he’s out of his fucking mind.

Kunimi: *having the time of his life*

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Oikawa: every human's capable of murder if you push them enough. i just don't know if this is enough of a push.

Iwaizumi: okay.

Oikawa: it's true!

Iwaizumi: is that so?

Oikawa: yeah.

Oikawa: i bet you you would murder me if I pushed you enough.

Iwaizumi: yeah, probably.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Tsukishima: …

Tsukishima: so, you're telling me, at nine years old, you don’t go to church. the first time you cross the threshold into holy ground,

Nishinoya: *makes noise and imitates blood coming out of his nose*

Tsukishima: blood expels from your nostrils?

Nishinoya: yeah, yeah. they ran outta tissues! mopping that up.

Tsukishima: …

Nishinoya: it was wild!

Tsukishima: it sounds wild.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Kuroo: i think it was the neighbor. look, i’m a simple man. i see a trail of blood going to someone's house. even if they didn't do it, come on; you're going to jail.

Kenma: i think it might've been a random person.

Kuroo: all right.

Kenma: it just seems too obvious.

Kuroo: okay.

Kenma: there's a paper trail of their feud. why the hell would he be that dumb?

Kuroo: rage, you know? lust, rage. rage just- just building up, bursting out.

Kenma: well, i've never really gotten that angry. i don't really have that capacity.

Kuroo: it's building. it's building inside you. everyone sees it; we all see it.

Kenma: that's great. oh man, i can't wait for krakatoa then.

Kuroo: *shuddering* oh- oh- i shudder.

Kenma: hope no one's in the way 😺

Kuroo: …

Kuroo: scary.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Daichi: he allegedly chased his mother with an axe when he was 19.

Asahi: not great.

Daichi: (wheeze) no? not off- off to a bad start?

Asahi: no good. i’ve never done that. you didn’t do that did you?

Daichi: no! i didn't- what- is there anything to suggest that I would chase my mom with an axe?

Asahi: (inhales) not outright i feel like if you peel the layers back.

Daichi: you think if you peel the layers back from this onion, you'll see something you don’t want to see?

Asahi: yeah. i think you wear a mask sometimes 😅

Daichi: mm-hmm i think you should keep digging and maybe see what happens 🙂

Asahi: uh no i'm good 🧍🏻‍♂️

Daichi: *staring at asahi*

Asahi: 👁👄👁💧

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Osamu: my takeaway is people from chicago are weird.

Atsumu: the- this does not represent chicago. this is people and go "ey! chicago tylenol murders"

Osamu: (laugh) home with the beam, the cubs and the chicago tylenol murders and of course our nation's greatest tragedy, miya atsumu.

Atsumu: that- that's not me.

Osamu: i read it somewhere 🤷🏻

Atsumu: no, you didn’t, you probably wrote it.

Osamu: yeah.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Suna: i’d love to be an heiress.

Kita: (snickers)

Suna: i know she’s probably gonna disappear or something.

Kita: so you wanna be a trust fund baby?

Suna: i’d like someone to give me a lot of money for doing nothing. but i want-

Kita: and then you wanna disappear?

Suna: yes. i want to get a lot of money and then vanish from the face of the earth.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Ennoshita: her family believed that when she left at 11:30 am, she had as much as $30 in her purse, which in today’s dollars would be more than $750.

Nishinoya: holy moly!

Tanaka: that’s a lot of quiche—

Nishinoya: yeah.

Tanaka: that’s a lot of quiche.

Nishinoya: thirty bucks going that far in 1910.

Tanaka: i don’t even have $750 in my bank account.

Nishinoya: i’ve never had $750 in my pocket! i rarely have had $30 in my pocket.

Ennoshita: well i don’t really carry cash anymore-

Nishinoya & Tanaka: who does!?

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Yaku: stop number one, mothman statue.

Lev: it looks very ornate.

Yaku: *shocked that lev knows that word*

Yaku: you’ll be able to stare at it eye to eye.

Lev: what’s that supposed to mean?

Yaku: it means you’re eight feet tall, it’s a tall joke. get it?

Lev: 🧍🏼

Yaku: 🤦🏼‍♂️

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Akaashi: any... any thought in that so far?

Bokuto: (fart sound) nope. what year is it, ‘66?

Akaashi: ‘66.

Bokuto: few teens out there probably smoking a few funny cigarettes.

Akaashi: you could say weed. it’s 2018.

Bokuto: ...some grass.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Kageyama: so my guess is the couples were somewhere around here, maybe on that road over there.

Hinata: yeah.

Kageyama: and i'm not sure of the exact location but this is where they saw him stumbling around.

Hinata: they just… saw him kinda shambling?

Kageyama: yeah.

Hinata: big shambling man. kinda *shuffling his body*

Kageyama: i- i don’t know, maybe he was just taking a walk, i mean, what's it to you?

Hinata: why would you take a walk if you had wings?

Kageyama: he's a fucking creature, he can do what he wants.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Kuroo: but all im saying is that what you need to gather from this is that he has an effect on people's psyche.

Lev: this mothman's a complicated character.

Kuroo: what does he sound like? what does he sound like?

Lev: he sound like the blood bird.

Kuroo: …

Lev: flappy spookster.

Kuroo: …

Kuroo: that's- come on.

Kuroo: *glances over to lev's notes*

Lev: the winged wretch. did i already say that?

Kuroo: this just says fright terror.

Kuroo: *throws away the notes*

Lev: you know, just call him batman, why is that hard? 😩

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

(howling)

Goshiki: what the fuck.

Shirabu: well those are coyotes… or dogs. Or a large pack of something.

Goshiki: holy shit.

Shirabu: just some coyotes.

Goshiki: are you not fucking alarmed right now?

Shirabu: are you scared? (laugh)

Goshiki: dude wait- this goes beyond belief, that was a pack of, whatever the fuck that was.

Shirabu: it was coyotes!

Goshiki: is that our cue to leave? i think maybe. we've been out here for quite a bit.

Shirabu: yeah, i don’t know if were gonna find anything tonight.

Goshiki: i don’t wanna be in the mouth of some coyote later, that's not how i want the picture wrap on old tsutomu to be.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Atsumu: air force one? they filmed air force one here?

Atsumu: air force one actually, now that i think of it, remember the reason they hijacked the plane is to release for the-

Sakusa: i’m gonna go ahead and cut you off right there 'cause i don’t give a shit.

Sakusa: we’re gonna move over here.

Atsumu: …okay.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Kai: four people in a cell, that's a lot

Kuroo: i mean, you put any normal people in a room that's too small. like if you’re in a dorm in college, if you hate your roommate…

Kai: it's tough business

Kuroo: listening to music too loud when i'm trying to study

Kai: hwfrrrrr…

Kuroo: cookin' uhh… top ramen in the microwave when i'm trying to sleep

Kai: you got some axes to grind?

Kuroo: no.

Kai: oh

Kuroo: fuck you, daishou.

Kai: daishou?

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

(distant thud)

Yamamoto: what the fuck?

Kenma: :3

Yamamoto: is all i have to say to that.

Kenma: they didn’t like the thumb talk.

Yamamoto: you didn't like the thumb talk? was it too much thumb talk? i thought we went about two minutes long on the-

(distant thud)

Kenma: they don’t like the thumb talk.

Yamamoto: *looking around in shock*

Kenma: *stopping himself from laughing*

Yamamoto: uhhhh… holy fuck. holy fuck, holy fuck. if you’re one of the people that had that thumb thing to happen to you, that sucks. what was it like?

Kenma: what do you think you're gonna get right now? 😑

Yamamoto: i feel like we should go see what that is, to be honest.

Kenma: *shakes his head*

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Tsukishima: we’re walking over to the source of the disturbance.

Hinata: hello? (sigh) i’m gonna lose my mind. so, it did that twice within the span of 10 seconds but nothing else?

Tsukishima: but, we can confirm that it did sound like this right? *slams the cabinet door*

Hinata: yeah.

Tsukishima: that was the sound.

Hinata: do you think the wind’s gonna do that twice?

Tsukishima: *blows on the cabinet door*

Tsukishima: not moving 🙄

Hinata: well, shit.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Sugawara: oh there it is. it’s that. *pointing to where the sound was coming from*

Asahi: what?

Sugawara: there’s a logical explanation for you.

Asahi: ah! okay, there it is. well, there you go, there you go.

Sugawara: but, if we hadn’t seen that...

Asahi: if we hadn’t seen that we would be fooled 😅

Sugawara: no, we wouldn’t have been fooled. you would have been telling me for months.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

*inside the prisoners of ohio state penitentiary*

Kageyama: this is fucking terrible.

Tsukishima: it’s the opportunity of a lifetime to be here.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Tendou: i’m separating from the group.

Semi: it’s the ideal time to kill him.

Tendou: yeah i mean, if i were gonna die in camera it would be a pretty noble thing.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Osamu: I don’t understand what’s wrong with atsumu sometimes.

Atsumu: what was that?

Osamu: i didn’t say anything.

Atsumu: you sure you didn’t say anything, ‘samu?

Osamu: now go back and set ‘em off to make sure they work.

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Sakusa: *inhales*

Atsumu: *inhales*

Sakusa: you need to back up from me. i can feel your air intake. it’s like a gross nasal jet, i don’t know.

Atsumu: *takes a step towards sakusa*

Sakusa: uh no *takes a step backwards*

«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»

Futakuchi: latch yourself onto my soul, come back to hollywood with me, and destroy the lives of all my friends and coworkers.

Koganegawa: a little hard to follow, but i like where you’re going.

Futakuchi: kogane’s family has a little-

Koganegawa: ey! ey! do-! do-! don’t!

Futakuchi: -dog named mickey.

Koganegawa:*trying to stop futakuchi*

Futakuchi: real good. you wanted me to give it my all. i’m throwing stuff on the table.

Koganegawa: insults, not personal information. you’re giving him a dossier on my life!

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Don’t believe the Kotaku article PLEASE, KOTAKU is very problematic on how they handle their journalism. I'd take that article with a hefty bag of salt, not just because it's Kotaku but because the article repeats entire paragraphs multiple times and is entirely he-said she said- with no clear sources. Plus I feel that someone like... Nate Purkeypile, who worked on it and is an independent dev now, would have brought this up before. This isn't the first time KOTAKU did this One of the writers got *massive flack* for comparing Bioshock Audio-logs to the diary of Anne frank in a 37 long thread on Twitter, I won't deny that fallout 76 had a very bad launch. But incorrect journalism will hurt just as much and hurt innocent people as well. Kotaku is begging for another ratio right before the Bethesda showcase. We already established the development of 76 was a rough as Hell but do we really need another rehashing of old information in the desperate attempt to get that ratio.

Okay, I'll take this one bit by bit, anon: Long response ahead.

KOTAKU is very problematic on how they handle their journalism

Agreed, I'm not a fan.

the article repeats entire paragraphs multiple times

I've read this twice now and I didn't see any repeating paragraphs? Unsure if you mean the quote boxes that are scattered throughout or not... I personally don't like that formatting, but it's a copyediting choice that some sites use to grab attention. If I'm missing something, I'm sorry about that, but I don't think I did.

and is entirely he-said she said- with no clear sources

No, there wouldn't be clear sources because the contributors chose to remain anonymous. Sources can choose to remain anonymous for a lot of reasons, but I think the obvious reason here is that these people want to work again. They want to stay in the industry, and they're worried that if their names are attached, they'll be blacklisted. Now, whether you believe the sources or not, whether you think Kotaku made it up, that's an argument I won't partake in. I choose to believe the sources - I've had to make the tough call of going to print with an anonymous source, or scrapping an entire story because your source won't say anything with their name attached. Journalists don't make it lightly, seeing as you can absolutely be sued if you put something like this out there and the target you took aim at is displeased. I did some digging into reporter Sisi Jiang too, and they don't seem to have a history of putting out unreliable information, so I'm willing to give them the benefit of the doubt.

I feel that someone like… Nate Purkeypile, who worked on it and is an independent dev now, would have brought this up before

Nate Purkeypile worked in the art department, correct? I read his interview in NYU's Washington Square News where he mentions playtesting, but it seems like he was focused more on the artistic side of Fallout 76. Kudos to Nate, the game's pretty. QA works with the art department somewhat, but it's a different beast. Also, see my previous point about wanting to remain in the industry after leaving the studio.

One of the writers got massive flack for comparing Bioshock Audio-logs to the diary of Anne frank in a 37 long thread on Twitter

I fail to see how a very bad personal joke tweet by a completely different reporter automatically condemns this entire report, and for that matter, the entirety of Kotaku. Again, I'm not a Kotaku fan, I'm not defending their questionable journalistic integrity or their shitty staff, but that's a big leap. Also, Twitter is just... fucking terrible with the whole "guilt-by-association" thing. Even if Jason Schreier had a hand in getting this story off the ground, it was Jiang's story at the end of the day, and theirs and their editor's call to publish it.

I won't deny that fallout 76 had a very bad launch. But incorrect journalism will hurt just as much and hurt innocent people as well

Alright, coming at this from the angle of being a fan of Fallout 76, and of the studio's other creations, despite... everything. Fallout 76 had a colossally bad launch, in a series of failings in nearly every department, on every level of management, and on nearly every aspect of the game itself. You're right, we've re-hashed that a lot, here on Tumblr and everywhere else. I am just as tired of seeing the takes about broken games and bugs and tote bags as you, anon. I play the game regularly, I complete the SCOREBOARDs religiously, I've met several lifelong friends on its servers and I will buy Starfield and probably The Elder Scrolls VI and Fallout 5 when they eventually come out. Hell, I'd even welcome a new Obsidian project partnership, although I think Fallout New Vegas 2 is a mythical creature. But this does not smell like "incorrect journalism" to me. There are a lot of points in this report that make problems we already knew about the game make a lot more sense, like the decision to use the Creation Engine despite it not being ready for anything beyond single-player games, or the sporadic visits from Todd Howard that tore up the design team's ideas. There is also more detail on the horrendous crunch that the studio forced its QA teams into, something that is meticulously documented across the AAA gaming industry in studios with far better and far worse reputations than Zenimax - detail I am inclined to believe, given what we know about game development as a whole. Above everything else, this article is aiming its criticisms at management, and that is the right place to aim them. The innocent people I assume you are worried about are the devs, the people hard at work on Fallout 76 and Starfield and beyond, and yes, I understand that you're worried that they'll be abused, docked pay or even fired. But the people doing the abusing, the withdrawal of funding, the firing and studio closures, they are the ones at fault here. They are the ones brought to task in Jiang's story. And if they don't want bad press, or devs quitting because they're developing symptoms of PTSD, there is a very simple fix - treating their people better.

Kotaku is begging for another ratio right before the Bethesda showcase

Assuming that everything Kotaku published in this story is true, it is not the journalist's fault that Bethesda and Zenimax mishandled their own team and their own game. There is no one to blame here but management. Time and time again, I see people blame journalists and news outlets for publishing a damaging story right before something big happens for their target, and I'm so tired of listening to discourse about whether "this was an inopportune moment" or "this was the exact right time to release this." It just depends on what perspective you're coming in with. Personally, I don't think Bethesda's showcase will suffer because of this article's release - if anything, they might get more eyeballs on it, since people love a good controversy. As far as increased scrutiny goes, I welcome it. I want Bethesda and Zenimax and the entire AAA game studio circus to improve. If they're scrambling last-minute to change their image and slap something showcase-worthy together, then they are doing something wrong. If they aren't listening to their game devs and QA team and are steamrolling any suggestions to delay or undergo big fixes, they are doing something wrong. If they aren't getting ahead of their own failures by preventing them from happening in the first place, they are doing something wrong.

do we really need another rehashing of old information in the desperate attempt to get that ratio

Ugh, I'm old. I had to look up the term "ratio" just to make sure I was understanding you right, anon. I am reading this as you accusing Kotaku of attempting to remain relevant and better-liked in the eyes of the masses, compared to the brow-beaten Bethesda. Bethesda isn't powerless. Kotaku isn't an underdog. The two do certainly have a history of back-and-forth, and Bethesda has told its staff not to talk to Kotaku at all since, what, 2015? If anything, that just strengthens my earlier point about the anonymous staff members being scared of punishment - it might even be in their contracts/NDAs not to speak to Kotaku, or to any reporters, ever. To your statements, Kotaku could also be desperate to get something, anything, they can use against the studio, and are thus willing to move forward with a story that contains solely-anonymous sources and a scathing indictment of toxic workplace culture that they did not personally witness. There are a ton of personal biases, grudges, possibly even vendettas in play here, and you are right to be skeptical of Kotaku's intentions. You are right to question your news sources, do not lose that impulse.

But when the day ends, the pageantry of the continued Kotaku vs. Bethesda feud boils down to the fact that Kotaku made some decisions to run stories that Bethesda disapproved of, and Bethesda has a history of making bad choices with their IPs, their launches, and their people. One of those is far more harmful, far more reprehensible, and far more preventable than the other. Also, sadly, super common in the AAA gaming industry.

If it comes out in the next few weeks that Jiang made the whole thing up, that the anonymous sources are fake or lying or whatever, I will retract this entire post and admit I was wrong. I'm human, I have biases too, and as a former journalist, I've had to admit my own mistakes before. It sucks, it hurts my ego, but it's good for me. Still, it's much more likely that the article is correct, people will laud it for a few days, and everyone will forget about the Kotaku article come Sunday when Todd Howard wears another leather jacket and shows some bomb game footage of Starfield that gets their fans excited all over again. Nothing will change, and the innocent people will go on at the mercy of management that cares about them only as much as they affect the bottom line.