#I adore Eloise but I do think she needs to take several seats in many areas

[skullvis]

Okay. Eloise. Babe. Embroidery is a genuine art form that takes a lot skill I know you’re in your “not like other girls” phase, but you don’t have to be condescending.

[pathofcomet]

look at what you taught me

fandom: bridgerton series

pairing: colin/penelope

summary: Colin and Penelope have never been awkward with one another. Except for this one time.  (AO3) (book spoiler ahead)

In the beginning, when he travels, Colin can think of nothing else but the present moment: a ship under his feet, the lull of a carriage, the wide expanse of the world all around him. Whatever destination is coming next, if he is certain enough – if not, he’ll just make it up as he goes. The furious scribbling of his quill against paper, as he races to put down in words all his eyes take not but a second to admire. It feels like everything he never knew he wanted to do so desperately. It feels right.

Then, it becomes more difficult to return home, the more he travels. But soon enough, the travel starts to wear him down. He begins to look forward to when he’ll return home: despite his own mother’s incessant remarks, despite the brotherly arguments, despite having to see another sister married off. Even the most loving mamas trying to marry off their daughters to him seem somewhat adorable, if he is gone long enough. But the need to travel comes back, like an itch that won’t go away unless he scratches it away. He makes promises to his sisters – so that he can stay as much as possible, but he goes insane with anything more than a couple of months. He likes to believe that by now his family simply made peace with his many eccentricities, and simply paid the cook more when he was around.

He treasures the pockets of familiarity he gets when in London as much as the breathes of fresh air he gets when he’s away. He imagines he drives his mother wild, with all his coming and going across the continent. He knows what Lady Whistledown writes about him as well, and he’d strangle the woman himself, for alerting everyone of his return so punctually. Ambitious mamas are hard to fend off when you’re a young man, and it only gets worse the older he becomes, because the expectation of marriage dawns ever closer.

***

“You must agree, Colin,” his mother says, and at the mention of his name, he straightens in his chair, because it’s a terrible thing to be singled out in a conversation by Violet. “Penelope is quite an agreeable young lady.”

Colin agrees, both because he truly believes so, and because while his mother doesn’t need his confirmation, she’s kinder when she has it. Benedict, from the other side of the room, leans closer in his chair, so he can hear better whatever commentary their dear mother is about to impart with them.

“I dare say she’d make quite a suitable bride for you, really.”

All hell breaks loose. Benedict drops his foot to the floor with a loud thud, while Colin drops his sandwich, eliciting a swear for which he’s reprimanded by three of his sisters. And then.

“Mother!” Eloise shrieks, quite offended – which Colin finds surprising, considering that the two of them are best friends. “That is entirely too daring!”

Colin agrees, but he is too busy desperately trying to cough away the piece of sandwich stuck in his throat. Eloise, though still quite shocked, pushes her cup of tea in his hands, just to get him to make less noise. He downs it in one go, grateful to not have died of this particular cause. His heart, quite in override still, might provoke a heart attack soon enough if his mother does not change the subject.

“I believe you misremember your ABCs, dear mother,” he jests, because he does not want to take the idea seriously. “There’s one son for whom you haven’t found a bride quite yet.”

Benedict shifts in his seat, suddenly finding his newspaper way more interesting. But this time around, Violet doesn’t rise to the so delicious bait of teasing her second, not when her brain is so set on match-making her third.

“I don’t see why not. Isn’t she a friend to all of us?”

She stops, waits for a nod from each one of her children currently engaged in eaves-dropping on the topic.

“She’s polite, witty,” she continues listing reason after reason, all to which Colin is entirely familiar and now that he thinks about, has noticed himself, several times over, in Penelope. “And quite darling.”

He imagines darling is what girls who aren’t called beautiful get stuck with by kind mothers. He never actually stopped to even consider Penelope in any of these ways: she’s always been there, ever since he was in short pants – and that’s almost already half their lives. A fixed presence by the side of his younger sister, and a favourite of his mother, despite all the awkward wallflower tendencies in Penelope. But he doesn’t recall ever trying to pick apart her character, find her individual traits, even consider her as a… woman.

Colin is suddenly shamed by his wilful, manly indifference. Violet arches her eyebrow at him, clearly still expecting an answer.

“Mother,” he adds with a sigh. “I can promise you most certainly that I am not marrying any time soon.”

“One never knows,” she murmurs, though she allows him his momentary peace, and returns to her embroidery.

***

Only that his mother doesn’t stop with her comments, and they seem to grow in number each time she meets Penelope, which unfortunate for him, is often enough. The next morning, as she returns from shopping, she comments on how nice she looked in a dress of her own picking, and not her mother’s own distasteful choices. Each time any married sibling sends a letter, or comes visit, her efforts in getting Colin to marry are reinforced. She jabs at him with comments: morning, afternoon and evening.

And suddenly, Colin can find that there’s nothing else much that he can think about, but Penelope, and how exactly this insane idea came to live in his mother’s mind. So he starts paying attention.

He supposes parties would be generally more enjoyable if he didn’t have to attend them with his family, as much as he loves them. He can physically feel Violet’s eyes drawing across the room, and then settling, decisively, on his back, a list of eligible ladies for marriage already compiled in her mind, alongside one for dancing partners. Colin can already guess what her mother is about to tell him.

And he is right. She pokes at his elbow with her fan, nodding to the edge of the ballroom, where Penelope Featheringston stands, card empty and looking like she’d rather be anywhere else but here. Well, at least they do have that in common.

“Colin, darling,” and really, that’s all that Mrs. Bridgerton has to say to any of her children for them to do her bidding.

He makes his way across the room, trying his best to avoid getting roped into introductions by mothers or old friends alike. The faster he’s getting this over with, the faster he can return to the appetizers, and to a reconnaissance of the room of his own.

“Pen,” he says, and she startles, turning around to him with the widest of eyes, and the shyest of smiles. Huh, maybe she does look quite darling.

“Colin!” she exclaims, smoothing down a hand over her dress, and while it’s a gesture driven by nerves, it looks quite adorable.

“Would you do me the honour of a dance?”

He extends out his arm, which she takes – an answer without needing one. And it’s quite a shame, to all the other men in the room, because Penelope is a wonderful dancer, and a most attentive conversationalist during them. She asks him of his most recent travels, destination known through the letters he sent to Eloise, most likely. He’s received his fair share of foot stepping and the occasional elbow in his side, but never with Penelope.

She animates with each step, blushing at his hand around her back, smiling at a spin. He never considered how soft her body feels under his fingers, underneath the thin material of her dress, but now he is acutely aware of her warmth seeping through. He asks of the books she’s been reading, which he knows are plenty.

And at the end of the dance, he finds that maybe dancing with Penelope Featherington is not such a tedious task, after all. And at the end of the night, he’s quite certain she’s been his best partner.

***

Art exhibitions are not really Colin’s thing, really. His interest lays in a world painted in words, not in colours. But considering the fact that one of Benedict’s pieces is to be exposed to the world for the first time, of course his entire family must be present. He is proud of his brother, for having found a path in life, having chased it so full of determination.

Colin’s good at chasing as well. He’s just been proven, more and more lately, that he chases only things that cannot last, which displeases him greatly. It doesn’t mean he is not entirely supportive of his older brother. What other reason he’d have to be present here, at all?

“Penelope!” Eloise shouts, gathering the attention of her friend.

Penelope spins around, red curls jumping with the movement, and she blushes. Colin is pretty sure she’s done this every single time he’s seen her, though maybe he now begins to understand why. She nods her head in their direction, all Bridgertons replying in kind. Eloise lets go of his arm, rushing instead by her best friend’s side, hands entangled in a most obvious display of friendship and affection.

Colin knows Penelope’s family – and so he knows there’s no such camaraderie between her and her sisters, as it can be so easily observed between himself and his own siblings. He’s glad these two have each other then: a friend is one’s most fearful champion.

He walks by his mother’s side, going through the gallery, the two girls just a few feet ahead. Eloise is the taller one, yet both their heads are bent together as they discuss, such an air of ease and comfort about them. His sister says something, and suddenly Penelope turns a bit more to the side, laughing: a sparkle of mischief in her eyes and the loveliest pull at her mouth. Now, Colin finds himself quite taken with her mouth, staring because he finds it impossible not to. The soft pink of her lips, as she’s worried at them trying to come up with a comment about this and that painting. The white of her teeth, as she smiles. Her tongue, wetting her lips, from time to time, as the rooms grow hotter, with all the people passing around.

He’s lucky that the art pieces all around are distracting enough that Penelope herself doesn’t notice. His mother does, though.

“Quite darling, no?”

And she looks at the exact same person that he is, and most certainly not at the painting of a fruit basket in front of them.

“Mother,” he warns, a slight squeeze around her arm.

“Oh,” she sighs. “You can’t blame me for caring enough to try.”

Maybe not. But he can blame her for opening his eyes to something that he, like everyone else – he begins to realize - didn’t really know was right there.

***

So Colin Bridgerton, like a true hero of his days, leaves for Wales. And like the caring gentleman that he also is, he uses one of his friends as his excuse. It helps – it’s quite a useful distraction, for a while, walking over the hills, staring out at the sea, spending evenings eating hearty meals with someone that knows him well enough, but not too much. And he writes in his journal, of his quiet passing days.

By contrast, the nights are not so quiet. While he tries so hard to forget the society back in London, at night there are no distractions: and even so, while asleep, he cannot really control his unconscious mind.

So Colin dreams: at first, the most innocent of shadows, people that he can vaguely make out. Then the visions get clearer, and longer, and more tormenting. It starts with Penelope’s smile, and that mouth of hers, which in a dream he can admit to wanting to desperately kiss. Which, in a dream, he has leave to do. He knows, upon waking, that whatever taste lingers on his tongue from his haze, it certainly has nothing on the reality, and hates himself all the more for it. Then her body, close to his, the press of her bosom hard against his chest, the roundness of her bottom in his palms. The next morning, he is in need of a change of bedsheets, like he is nothing but a horny teenager.

He is sure his mother must have cursed him. The dreams continue, sweet haunting that only makes the guilt rise in his throat. She’s his sister’s best friend, for heaven’s sake, and here he is, conjuring her up in his dreams with no respite! It’s like his body has decided to take an entirely different path from his mind.

Colin is miserable on a travel, for the first time in way too long.

***

Maybe that’s his excuse. He lacks sleep, and for him, the most pressing issue is, obviously, still the one of his marriage. Violet Bridgerton is popular for many things between her children, but her cutting words and sharp mind are not necessarily one of those, especially if used against one of them. Colin has found himself at the receiving end of exactly that for weeks and months now, so he is apprehensive when he is summoned back to London.

But if his mother has need of him, then he must make haste. Of course, the real reason is simply the news of Daphne’s new pregnancy, which is incredibly happy. Colin loves to be an uncle way better than he likes being a younger brother.

Especially since right now, Anthony and Benedict have taken the liberty to pick up with the teasing where their mother stopped.

“You left in the middle of the season,” Benedict remarks, and Anthony clasps his back in a way that only eldest brothers can do, when they require an immediate answer.

“Oh, very well,” and Colin actually scowls. “I needed to get away. Mother has been incessant with this bloody marriage thing.”

And because they’re his brothers, of course they joke and jest more, at his own expense. Everyone in their house knows that his mother has her eyes set on Penelope, and everyone in their house is already tired of her insinuations, Colin most of all. That doesn’t mean that Anthony, or Benedict are going to pass up the opportunity to rile him up on the subject. It’s been a while, after all, since they’ve had reason to laugh at him in particular.

It’s the damn lack of sleep, and all of these comments, which are entirely unwarranted and so overwhelming, despite his protests, that make him throw all decorum out the window.

“I am not going to marry soon, and I am certainly not going to marry Penelope Featherington!”

“Oh!”

The softest sound, really – feminine and delicate and belonging to the single person that he didn’t want to see right this moment. With much slowness, burning red with shame, Colin turns around to look at Penelope Featherington. And he knows: by the expression on her face, the haggard breathing with the desperate rise and fall of her chest, and her eyes, that he just broke her heart.

What he says right there on the spot, he cannot truly recall. A fumbling of stupid, empty nothings, apology too small, too unfulfilling, because Penelope draws herself up and protects the little bit of her dignity left.

And she leaves, so fast that he doesn’t have the time to do what he wants: follow her to clear up things.

Benedict punches him in the arm, quite terribly hard. It still doesn’t feel as bad as the gut-wrenching guilt building up inside himself, or the self-loathe that he so much deserves. Because just as he was beginning to make up his mind regarding how dear, truly, she has grown to be for him, he has done the worst thing a person who cares about another can do: hurt her.

***

He shows up at the doorsteps of her house the following day, surprised to find Penelope alone in the drawing room.

“As you might suspect, Mr. Bridgerton,” she says, when he inquires after her mother and sisters. “Many men before you have made the same declaration, though maybe in more private settings. I am afraid any hope of marriage left in this household falls upon my sisters.”

It is the fact that she doesn’t use his name that stings the worst, and makes him understand exactly how much harm he’s done with his extremely horrifying comment.

“Penelope, I am so entirely sorry for the way I behaved yesterday. You must believe me when I say I did not mean to offend you in any way.”

“Must I?”

He stops, opens his mouth: no words come out. She looks the picture perfect of peace, and maybe this is what should worry him the most. It is his first time seeing her as more than a blushing young woman, and suddenly maybe he realizes why she is Eloise’s best friend: she’s made of tougher stuff than what he’s been led to believe so far.

“What I said, the way I’ve said it. I’ve hurt you… It’s entirely intolerable and I apologize for the situation you’ve been put in because of me being an ass.”

Situation that she handled entirely fine, given the fact that he so singled her out in a market of numerous others undesirable young ladies. She sighs at his curse, something that sounds like Colin, that has the tiniest of fondness in the tone. Something in his chest tightens with fondness of its own, for this woman in front of him, who has been nothing but a most beloved friend, to his entire family – and to him, as well.

“I…” she stops, taking in a deep breath, her hands shaking. “I already told you, no feelings were hurt. You’ve made no remark that wasn’t already obvious to everybody in the ton,” she says, and she waves in the air the latest number of Lady Whistledown.

Of course, even when he misses it, his sisters and his dear mama are quick to fill him up on the happenings of the season. In today’s fresh paper, Whistledown has written down that were the two of them ever to get married, she’d have to give up writing altogether – such an unfitting match never having been seen before.

“You can’t possibly believe those writings,” he says, suddenly offended at the paper, though he’s not quite certain on whose behalf anymore.

“I didn’t, until –”

Until he has reinforced them all the more, with his declaration. Colin suddenly feels himself flush from head to toes, at being so openly chastised. His brother Benedict has already told him, that he has cruelly overstepped most demands of polite society when he lost his temper in that way, in such a public place.

“I really do apologize, Penelope.”

He hadn’t realize how much he enjoys saying her name until now, when he so desperately wants her, needs her to say his own. A sign that things between them can be mended, move from the terrible awkwardness between them.

“Pity doesn’t feel that nice to those who already know how pitiful they are, Colin.” His gaze snaps up at her, and finds her already smiling at him – quite charming, even if so utterly self-depreciating. “Though you are forgiven.”

He bows at her in thanks, lower than he’s gone in months, if not years, just to show how entirely grateful he is. Of course, Colin is yet too young, rich, handsome and charismatic to know the meaning of her words, and too stupid of a man to try and understand where she is coming from.

But he will, in due time.

For now, maybe his favourite sight to see during his travels becomes the shores of England, when returning home. Because home has just started to mean just a tiny bit more.

[aperrywilliams]

A Normal Conversation Ch11 (Spencer Reid x Maxine Brenner)

Masterlist

Ch01 Ch02 Ch03 Ch04 Ch05 Ch06 Ch07 Ch08 Ch09 Ch10 Ch11 Ch12 Ch13 Ch14 Ch15 Ch16 Ch17

———————

Chapter 11: The tough girl

Summary: Max's family has unresolved issues that drag them from several years

Word Count: 4582

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences. Some “angst”... or more than I expected.

Warnings: Reference to death, grief, incurable diseases, sad things.

A/N:  This chapter is located in some point between S15x06 and S15x09

——————–

Two days had passed since Cat Adams events and Spencer had to travel with the team due to a new case. Max had managed to take a few days off so she could spend more time with her dad and Eloise. She was worried about them and the repercussions of being exposed to a limit situation like the one they lived. That day Max had promised them lunch, stay during the afternoon and stay to sleep. Michelle was also there, only for dinner although.

"I don't understand why she had to take Eloise..." said Michelle, still confused while they were sit around the table after finishing dinner.

"You're talking about psychopaths, I don't know if there are any coherent reasons for that ..." said Max.

"I thought she wanted me to kill her boyfriend. I thought she was going to force me to do that!” Eloise said still shocked remembering about her experience that night.

"But darling, good thing is nothing happened and we are fine" said Dom, trying to calm Eloise's anxiety. Michelle and Max nodded.

"And Spencer did nothing?" Michelle asked with evident anger. Max trowed glare to her older sister at the question.

"We were stuck with the other psycho in his apartment ..." Max said with a sigh.

"While the rest of his team worked hard so we could have Eloise back with us..." added Dom, seeing how the sisters looked at each other with more than disapproval. He wanted to avoid a rude discussion between them.

"Well... it was the least he could do..." said Michelle. Max knew exactly where her older sister's comment was going and was not willing to tolerate it.

"What's your problem Michelle?" Max asked raising her voice.

"My problem?... my problem is about our dad and our younger sister were in danger 'thanks' to your boyfriend's work..." Michelle said raising her voice as well.

“No one wanted this happen Michelle. I don't see why you have to look for culprits among those who only did what they could to help” Max protested.

“Can't you see it, Max? Our family is exposed now. It is not just about you, but about those around you. You can't wait for me to stay calm knowing this could happen again and with worse consequences!”

"Now you blame me?... Are you saying I'm selfish and I don't think about my family?" You're raving Michelle…” Max said shaking her head and huffing angrily.

"It won't be the first time you do that Max... don't play the victim role on this..." added Michelle with an ironic grimace, which took Max out of her wits.

"That’s it! Of course you had to come back to the same topic again and again. Years have passed Michelle and are you still blaming me?... amazing. I can´t believe it!". The discussion had escalated in many ways, which was very much for Eloise, who left the dining table crying and running to her room. It was at that moment Dom intervened again.

"Girls, stop it!. Do you see what you achieve by arguing that way? Eloise has no responsibility for anything…” Dom said to end the conversation. Max bit her tongue and didn't say a word.

"Yes, you're right dad. Eloise is not responsible for anything on this matter…”

"Neither Eloise, nor Max... nor anyone. It just happened. Let's leave it, is it clear?”

"Let's just leave it, Dad. But you know what I think. Now I'm going to see Eloise to apologize. Then I will go home, I want to get Sammy to bed” said Michelle, getting up from the dining table without looking Max. Dom glanced Max and was going to say something, but she stopped him.

"No, Dad, you don't have to say anything". She got up and went to the back yard to get some fresh air and calm down.

Max and Michelle relationship had never been easy. Michelle as an older sister had to grow up quickly to be support in raising her sisters, mainly Eloise. Max's mother had passed away when they were still young and was a responsibility that fell on Michelle, but not Max, who was in the middle of rebellion phase. That made their relationship even rougher. In spite of this, when Michelle got married and became pregnant with Sammy, Max was closer to her family and both were able to establish a closer relationship. But each time a conflict arose within the family, the distance between them became evident by their different way of seeing things in life. Max adored his older sister but her attitude of moral superiority she adopted sometimes made Max mostly angry. In Michelle's case, she would do anything for Max, but it bothered when Max had childish attitudes about things she considered important.

After a while Michelle was gone, Eloise approached Max who was on one of the backyard benches wrapped in a blanket and smoking a cigarette.

"You know that thing kills you, right?" Max had not noticed Eloise was there so she was shocked to hear her voice.

"Elis, you scared me!" Max said. Then she looked at the cigarette she was smoking. "I know, but I needed one of these". Eloise sat next to Max.

"It's not healthy anyway..." Eloise said again.

"You're right. I know". Max stubbed out his half-smoked cigarette. "Elis, I’m so sorry for the outburst at dinner. I didn't want it to end in a discussion like the one you saw"

“Yes, Michelle said the same thing to me before she left. It's okay. I understand. I just don't like to see you both arguing like that… it reminds me so much when…” Eloise was unable to finish the sentence, but Max knew exactly what she was referring to.

"I know. I promise to restrain myself more from now on…” Max assured, opening the blanket she was wrapped to share with her sister, assuming she was feeling cold when she saw her rubbing her hands for some warm.

“Okay Max, I am not going to make you to be someone you are not. Sometimes I think I am more vulnerable than I should be and I would like to be more like you or Michelle, despite the damn genius you both have…”. Max laughed at the comment.

"Don't say that Elis, you are perfect as you are!... plus you're still a young lady" Max said encouragingly.

"I don't want to be just a girl Max anymore, don't say that..." Eloise said tiredly.

"I would love if you could staying like a little girl, I’m terrified to see you grow up! But you're right. Just take it easy, don't rush things, ok?” Eloise nodded.

"Do you think Michelle's anger will go away soon?" Eloise asked.

"I hope so..." Max said with a sigh. "I don't like the idea of ​​Michelle blaming Spencer for all this that happened to us" said Max with a exhale.

"Yes, I know it is not his fault and he tried to do everything possible to help us and protect you" said Eloise.

"The poor man feels so bad about all this..." said Max.

"I guess so..." said Eloise. "Max?... you like him a lot, I’m right?" Eloise asked. Max without looking at her smiled.

"I think so. I know we don't know each other very much yet… but he is a wonderful man and very different from everyone I've ever dated before…”

"It would be a beautiful love story..." Eloise said taking her sister's arm. "I think he is crazy about you too" Max started to laugh.

"Why do you say that?"

"I don't know... how he looked at you when we were at the FBI offices. He smiled at you every time he looked at you… and you to him” said Eloise. Max blushed a little.

"I thought I had been more subtle..." Max said laughing.

"It's just I know you... that's why I noticed it" Eloise said teasing her sister. Max looked at her and started laughing again.

"Can I tell you a secret?" Max said to his younger sister.

"Oh Max, of course! tell me!!!" Max knew Eloise liked when she tell her things in that tone.

"We already kissed" Max said quietly and smiling.

"What??!!!" Eloise yelled. Max was about to cover her mouth from the scream. Eloise held back a little and lowered her voice. "So? Did you like it?" asked Eloise. Max sighed and leaned back on the bench.

"Yes... it was so... I don't know. I liked very much. I wouldn't know how to describe it. But I can assure you I really liked it” said Max, trying to search for more specific words but she couldn't find them.

"I knew it!... is he your boyfriend now?" Eloise asked.

"But Elis, we just kissed, it doesn't mean anything... yet" said Max.

"Well, no yet... but you'll see. It's a matter of time” said Eloise.

"It could be... but I don't want to ruin it" said Max.

"Of course you won't Max! I have a good feeling about this. I'm sure” said Eloise hugging her sister.

That same early morning Max stayed at the house with his dad and Eloise, Spencer and the team took the jet to return to DC. They had managed to close the case relatively quickly, but not fast enough to return earlier. Spencer looked at the time and saw it was late, so he didn't want to send a message to Max, thinking she was already asleep. Still, he had his phone in one hand as he looked out the window. This time it was Prentiss who came over and sat across from him.

"Spencer? Can I speak to you for a moment?" said Prentiss. Spencer looked at her and nodded silently, putting the phone in his pocket and watching as Emily settled into the seat and leaned her arms on the table that separated them.

"Something’s wrong?" Spencer asked a little confused.

"We haven't been able to talk much since Cat incident, but I think I owe you an apology...". Spencer winced in puzzlement.

"Why do you say that?"

"I put your relationship with Max even more at risk by overexposing her in the face of Cat. I could have thought of something else, but it was the quickest thing we could do under the circumstances..." Prentiss apologized.

“Emily, I know… you don't have to say sorry for that. I understand the reasons. I probably would have done the same. Besides, it was always Cat's idea to do that… ”

“Although I believe it, it could have been different anyway. You were starting something different, trying to separate your work from your personal life, which is we all try to do here as far as we can. And from one moment to the next we entangled Max more in this matter with Cat” said Prentiss with her fingers crossed on the table.

“I am not going to lie about this, I think was one of the worst nights I have had in a long time. And I’m not saying it for me, for her instead. I think I can tolerate almost anything at this point, but I didn't want Max to have to go through this. But it's not your fault or the team's fault, it's Cat's fault,” said Spencer, grimacing with discomfort as he remembered that night.

"It is true. Now, as uncomfortable and strange as everything has been, Max showed how brave she is and how much she cares about you despite having faced something completely unknown to her” Prentiss said with a smile.

"Do you believe it? Why do you say that?" Spencer asked curiously.

"Of course I did. Spencer, tell me, what woman you know would be willing to come face to face a psychopath for protect her family and you? Oh, and don't even consider the brave BAU girls” Emily laughed. Spencer smiled.

"Yes, of course she did, but she did it for her family, her sister was in danger ..." Spencer said.

“It wasn't just because of that, I can be sure. She cares a lot about you. Spencer, I could bet on it and I'm sure I wouldn't lose. You’d have seen how J.J. described to me the look of anger she had when Penelope, Matt and she explained her everything Cat had done to you. JJ told me she could have smacked Cat if we had allowed her to. I think you must consider it before making that woman mad” Emily said laughing. Then she got up, patted Spencer shoulder and went to the other side of the jet to speak to Rossi. Spencer scratched his chin thinking. He took the phone out of his pocket and started to write a message.

Max was looking at the ceiling lying in the bed that used to be hers when she lived there . She was still upset about the argument with Michelle and couldn't sleep. Her cell phone vibrated on the nightstand. Max reached out and saw Spencer had sent her a message: “Case closed. Flying to DC now. I just wanted to wish you good night". Max replied back: “Good news. Too bad you're flying late. I’m still awake. I came to see my dad and Eloise and I stayed here. Tomorrow I'll not work, in case you want to meet”. Spencer replied: “It would be great if we meet tomorrow. I can stop by your apartment in the afternoon”. Max replied: “Perfect. I’ll wait for you in the afternoon. Big kiss and try to sleep”. Spencer smiled at the last message and then put the cell phone back in his pocket. He leaned back in the seat and with closed eyes try to get some sleep during the flight.

A couple of hours later the team landed in DC. Unluckily they couldn't go home because there was work to do. After lunch hour Spencer managed to leave the BAU, where they agreed not to return until the afternoon of the following day unless they had a new case. Before arriving at Max's apartment, Spencer got two coffees and some donuts. Then went up to the 4th floor on Max’s building and knocked on the door.

“Hey handsome!… ” Max said opening the door.

"Hey..." Spencer said with a soft smile.

“I see you brought back ups. Come in” Max said gesturing for Spencer to get in to the apartment.

"I think these are necessary... at least for me" Spencer said as he crossed the threshold and Max closed the door behind him. They both stood looking at each other for a few seconds without moving from their place. Max spoke first.

"Well, you can give me that and I’ll put it on a plate" she said pointing to the box of donuts.

"Sure..." Spencer handed the box to Max who went to the kitchen. Spencer left the two coffee cups on the table and stood waiting for Max to return. When she put the plate of donuts on the table, he took her hand and gently pulled her closer. "I think now I will be able to greet you appropriately..." He leaned down cupping Max's face with both hands and started kissing her. Max closed her eyes and held on to the lapel of Spencer's blazer returning a passionate kiss. When they parted for some seconds, Max spoke.

"Wow, I almost was forgetting how this felt..." she said in a whisper.

"I don't... believe me... I thought... about this... everyday..." Spencer said as he gave her short kisses between words.

"Did you really miss me Dr. Reid, uh?" Max asked jokingly. Spencer nodded griping her waist. "Yes, I missed you too" Max said as she tidied his tangled hair with her both hands. "I see you haven't slept much…" she suggested when noticed his dark circles and the slightly redder color of his eyes. It was clear his sleep scheme had not been adequate in the last days.

"In fact, I haven't slept almost in the last two days... but no because of it I was going to miss the chance to see you today" he said, stealing another sneaky kiss from her.

“Come on, let's sit. So you can rest” said Max pointing towards the couch. Spencer took off his blazer and hung it on the rack, then sat on the couch leaving a sigh escaped. Max held out the coffee cup to his while holding her own with the other hand. "Take off your shoes, so you could leave your feet breathe too" Spencer obeyed and exposed his mismatched socks. Max couldn't help but laugh.

"Weird, uh?" Spencer pointed at his socks.

"I would say ‘different’..." Max said smiling. "Well, tell me about your trip. Too hard?" Max asked as she sat on the couch on her own crossed legs.

"Surprisingly no, I must say. At first it seemed like an intricate puzzle. Honestly I thought it could take us a long time to figure out. But once we reviewed victimology more carefully and taking into account how unsub moved from place to place, it gave us enough information to deliver a profile and thus it was easier to locate him with those information. Anyway it was odd, because in cases like these there is a high chance you'll need to modify the profile, since unsub became a group in the end. The initial indications were very essential to reach the last conclusion. In any case, this required to do a pursuing over night to be able to find them. Luke and Matt got in one of the houses where they were hiding. We both with Emily were checking the neighboring courtyards in case they were hidden in one of the neighboring houses. Luckily there were no gunshots…” Spencer said and stopped to drink coffee. He glanced at Max who was silent staring straight at her coffee mug. "I'm already rambling... again..." Max noticed his last sentence and hurried to reply.

“No. It's okay. Really, I was paying attention to your story” said Max drinking from her coffee too.

"What’s wrong?" Spencer asked curiously trying to study her face.

"Nothing is wrong... I already told you, I was truly listening…" said Max.

"Yes I know. But you haven't made any comment on everything I've talked about. By now you would have stopped me…” said Spencer straight looking for her gaze.

"Are you profiling me?" Max asked laughing.

"No... I don't... but I'm sure something happen to you" Spencer was right, Max was still mad at Michelle and upset about the situation at her dad and Eloise's house, but she didn't want to tell him, knowing the effect it might have, and which he would surely interpret as his fault. But I also didn't want to lie to him. "Did something happen with your dad and Eloise yesterday?" Spencer tried to dig deep.

"No. They are doing ok, in fact” Max replied quickly.

"So… it's Michelle..." said Spencer grimacing. Max sighed. 'How could he know?' thought. Of course he knows, for sure it was written on her face.

"But it's not what you think..." Max hastened to say. "It's just… with Michelle we have always our ups and downs... and we had a big argument yesterday..." Max said releasing a sigh.

"Do you want to talk about that?" Spencer asked holding Max's hand. She bit her lower lip wondering if she wanted to delve into the topic. After thinking about it for a couple of seconds, she dared to speak. After all, why not explain to him what happened so he could better understand why she was feeling like this?

"Yes, maybe it is a good idea to do it" Max paused, took a deep breath, and started talking. "Did I ever tell you my mom died when we were still very young with my sisters?"

"Yes, you mentioned it once. But only that” said Spencer.

“Well, at that time Michelle was 19, I was 16 and Eloise 12. We were really very young. When my mom told us she was sick and… there was no cure for her illness, hit us hard. My dad at that time worked a lot and was not so much at home. But when my mom got worse, he had to ask for a long leave to be with her, while Michelle took care of Eloise and me. Well, of course I did not agree with the idea… you will realize that me, at 16 years of age what I least wanted was for my older sister to lead my life…” Max said with a frown.

Spencer nodded and he could feel Max's voice begin to tremble. He took both of her hands in and began stroking them to comfort her. "If you don't feel ok talking about this, that's fine. You don't have to do it now…” he said without releasing her hands. Max shook her head.

"I want to do it. I need to do it. I think if I do this you'll understand a bit  my family and why we are so apprehensive towards each other…” said Max. Spencer nodded and was silent. Max kept talking. "When my mom was already dying, we were allowed to go see her with Eloise at the hospital. She looked so tired, but she didn't want to us feeling bad for her and told us everything was going to be ok. Eloise did not quite understand what was happening, but I knew what was going to happen. And no, things were not going to ok. And I felt a contained rage because nobody was honest! Because everyone was lying to us and we were lying about something we knew was going to happen…”. Max paused, looked at Spencer. He didn't take his eyes off her, nor did release her hands.

“The last time I spoke to my mom alone in the hospital she took my hand… and cried because she knew what I was feeling. That it wasn't fair, that I was angry, that I wasn't going to accept it. She told me never to forget I had a family and she would always be taking care of me, no matter if I was no longer in this world… ”. Some tears began to roll down Max's cheeks inadvertently. She took a minute to breathe and hold back those tears hoping they wouldn't fall any further. Spencer watched her silently, helping to wipe away the tears with his thumbs.

“The last thing I said to her was I didn't care and I didn't need anyone. That I could handle my feelings alone and she shouldn't worry about me. I would be fine and I could take care of myself. Michelle heard that and has never forgiven me for saying those things to my mom on her deathbed. She always believed I depreciated her love for me and our family. And… you know? sometimes I believe that too. But there are moments when I feel she understood what I was referring to and it wasn't I didn't love her... I just wanted to be strong and no give reasons to her to worry about me. I would like to think she understood it... but it broke my heart when they told me that she was already gone. I didn’t shed any tears until 3 months after her death. I was only consumed by rage. The month my mom died, I ripped myself out of home and went to Baltimore, staying with some friends. I was not going to accept anything and I rebelled. I left my dad and my sisters. I wanted to deal with the pain alone, thinking if I did it I wouldn't hurt anyone and I could heal myself…” Max said in a trembling voice.

"But you couldn't..." Spencer said as he gently caressed one of her hands and with the other tried to dry the new tears from Max fell down her cheeks. Max shook her head.

"No, the pain didn’t go away. And I didn't set free my family from it either. When my dad came looking for me in Baltimore, I knew I was messing it up. Just when I realized what I have done I was able to cry and I didn't stop doing for weeks…” Spencer released one of his hands to be able to embrace her. She nestled against his chest. Some tears still ran down her cheeks. “After things calmed down a bit. I tried to accept things had changed and I would have to give in even if I didn't like it. It was not until I was 18 I began to feel I was healing. But every once in a while this comes back”. Max sighed. "Spencer, I'm so sorry... I'm sharing with you this old burden of mine..."

"No, you don't have to say sorry for that. You are a brave woman Max, don't forget that. Okay, you were 16 years old and you faced it as you could. There is no formula for dealing with a grieve… and no matter how long it takes…” Spencer rubbed Max's hair without breaking the embrace.

"Yes I know. But it has been difficult because that friction always appears between us. I swear I understand her so much. Michelle is right almost 99% of the time, but sometimes she beats me… ”

"But even though all that, you have each other and support each other... that's what a real family does, right?"

"Yes, it’s true. When Sammy was born, was my moment of redemption with Michelle. I love that boy so much, I would really do anything for him… anything” said Max sighing and calming her breathing.

"Well, I agree, Sammy is a great child, who I have a lot to thank for, by the way" They both smiled. Spencer moved to a corner of the couch, stretched his legs along and let that Max to lie on his chest as he held her. Then he continued speaking. “I understand you may have differences with Michelle, but you both love and care about each other. Surely your mom is proud of you two” he said trying to comfort her.

"I really hope so. Sometimes I miss her so much. She knew what to say at the right time. Many things she could teach me I had to learn them on my own” said Max with a sigh.

"And that is what makes you the great woman you are now" said Spencer while Max smiled.

"You are really good with words, huh?" Max joked.

"I’m telling you the truth. I couldn't lie to you on that. You are an exceptional woman. You have a big heart. You love your family. You love life and you live it intensely… and I like that about you” said Spencer before putting a kiss on her head while stroking her arm. Max hold Spencer's hand that rested on his stomach, brought it to her lips and kissed it intensely.

“I must insist you are a lovely human being..." said Max smiling.

"Yeah… I know..." Spencer said smiling and closing his tired eyes. Max traced circles on his chest over his shirt with her fingertips as played with his tie. They were both silent as their bodies relaxed. Max also closed her eyes. She was clearly more relieved after removing what was stuck in her chest. After a while, and without realizing it, they fell asleep deeply.

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