#I could fix my rentry but that's boring

[lumimis]

imbored

[yellowocaballero]

⭐

Great! Let’s do one of my most ambitious projects yet. 

Cautiously, arm warily held out in front of him, Jon walked closer to the far wall. Daisy moved out of the way, still growing at the archway, but as Jon couldn’t stop himself from walking closer. Some part of him desperately wanted to know, to understand what this half-formed archway was doing underneath the skeleton of the seat of Jonah’s power. Most of him didn’t even want to know. 

But at the end of the day he was the Archivist, and a finder of lost things. A finder of lost knowledge.  Jon reached out and traced his hand over the pockmarked archway, frowning him his finger poked easily through the dirt. It was soft and loose, crumbling over his fingers. It was moist, too: Jon quickly saw some worms crawl out of the dirt wall, wriggling to the surface and falling onto the ground. Daisy pounced on them quickly, ripping them apart with her teeth and claws, but Jon watched in mute fascination as more and more worms began to emerge from the wall. 

“Ew,” Gerry muttered. 

“That can’t be natural,” Agnes said, aiming for confidence but falling short. “I mean, what here could?”

She was right. The worms were coming too thick and fast, squirming with long and loose bodies. Moreover, they were arranged perfectly in the shape of the archway, boring through the loose soil until they formed a gate made out of flesh and rot. Jon felt his Eyes opening, almost unconsciously, reaching for his power. A thrill snuck its way up his spine, and the back of his neck prickled. His powers were muted here, but it was impossible to ignore the siren song of a confession. 

Right behind him, he could feel Gerry clutching onto the back of his trenchcoat. He hissed to Agnes, “I thought Jane Prentiss was dead.”

“She is,” Jon said, mouth moving unconsciously. “Her ashes are inside the Head Archivist’s desk. This is just...a remnant.  Pilgrims, paying fealty to a god whom no longer walks among them. Traces of former glory.” 

“Really? They just look like worms to me,” Gerry said. 

This symbolizes both a re-rentry into the Underworld by Orpheus, and Jon’s metaphorical retracing of his steps into the events of canon in order to find his lost identity - 

Wait? I haven’t published this yet? Sorry, never mind!

“People don’t really get me gifts. Too scared of me. You were scared of me too. I like it when people are scared of me. But it means that sometimes I feel - misunderstood.” Daisy grimaced, as if saying the word ‘feel’ was allergic to her sensibilities. “I like beautiful things. That’s why I asked for a snowglobe. And you just got me one. You were so happy to give it to me, as if it was a peace offering. As if a stupid snowglobe would make us friends. But I could see that you chose the most beautiful one. As if you knew that I liked beautiful things.” She tilted her head a little, close cropped blonde hair brushing against her chin. It was always ragged, as if she cut it by hacking it off with a knife. “I got it then. That I didn’t really understand you. Although I thought I did. I had almost killed somebody who I didn’t understand. You could have - I’m not saying you are - but you could have been a really good person deep down, and I almost killed you. Then I started thinking - how many people have I hurt, who were good people deep down? Or could have been? Kept me up at night.” Snow swirled in its endless eddies in the globe, and Jon gave it another good shake. “Then I decided that I didn’t care and that  you don’t deserve to live if you just run around killing people without even thinking about it, but you get my point. People - they’re worth keeping around sometimes, yeah? Even if they’re real bastards. I’m a bastard too. I don’t really anticipate surviving tomorrow. But I find myself...wanting to be different. Just when it’s too late. Maybe because it’s too late.”

“This is the most interesting conversation we’ve ever had,” Jon said politely, “but, like, what?”

“The world isn’t comprehensible,” Daisy said slowly, as if he was a particularly dim witted child. “It will never make sense, not even to you.  You say you’re omniscient, but you don’t even understand people. If you kill the world tomorrow, then you will never have the chance. Life isn’t supposed to be understood. It’s supposed to change. Death is bad because...after, you don’t change no more. I don’t want to die.” She stood up abruptly. “I’m going to bed. Don’t fuck it up tomorrow.”

I’ll have to keep this analysis shorter because I wasted word count on that stupid joke, but let’s take a look at Bell, Book, and Candle! Sage wisdom, once again delivered by Daisy, serving as The Braincell. 

Evil!Jon was a lot of fun to write, and from what I understand fun to read (I’m working on a little fun thing with him, Georgie, and Gerry fighting the Homeower’s Association, but as those don’t EXIST in Britain...). Despite the name I didn’t really want him to be evil: his thing was that he was every part of Jon that drove him towards becoming the Archivist. He just wanted knowledge, and to complete the ritual. You can say that he’s 100% pure, undiluted Archive: he wants nothing other than to perpetuate his role in the universe, which is to undergo the Watcher’s Crown ritual and to imbibe knowledge. 

The thing is...those things are mutually exclusive. This is the point when Evil!Jon realizes that: that if he kills someone, that’s knowledge and learning lost forever, and that if the world is destroyed then that will create the death of knowledge, of discovery and learning and innovation. To Evil!Jon, a being that worships knowledge, there’s nothing worse than that. 

Moreover, it’s that knowledge isn’t the same thing as understanding. He can know all the facts he wants, but what use are facts if they don’t mean anything? This realization - that ending the world will have far reaching consequences, and that it isn’t what he wants - sets in motion his ultimate decision to create instead of destroy. 

Daisy probably never found out that she saved the world! All she wanted was to connect emotionally with Jon, because at the end of the day she understands Evil!Jon and what he wants better than she ever understood Jon. She has regrets that she’s beginning to explore and feel, and that she won’t ever really be able to understand until the coffin.  

A big theme of BBC is wanting to do better. Wanting to improve, wanting to fix things or mend bridges or create a brighter future. It’s about several adults, who are bearing the burden of thirty years of shitty decisions, and realizing at the twilight of their lives that it’s possible to have a better one. Like in MATDB (many many many themes from BBC pop up later in MATDB), Jon does terrible things out of love, but of course love has to save too. Love, hope, empathy, and willingness to do good is a decision. It’s very easy to destroy, but it’s very hard to create. 

Thanks for the question!