#I didn't KNOW they were gonna react like that bc I didn't know who'd come to the house and i SURE didn't expect yaz and cedar to kill fenri

[khodorkovskaya]

07.01.23

spent the whole day on the road today bc my parents are spending a week in central switzerland and i came along for the weekend.

my zurich friend texted me a whole novel lol. so i don't remember if i wrote about it here but when we went clubbing on christmas he kept talking about this greek girl he's in love with. and he was like "ohhh i don't know what to do bc she has no experience". but in reality he's the one with no experience and he thinks too much. so anyway, i was v curious about this whole story bc i love gossip. so today i asked him if there's anything new with the greek girl. and the man sent paragraphs upon paragraphs oh my god.

so the story is, he's been courting her for over a year. and he was her first kiss. and then they went to a ball (yes, a ball like the one cinderella went to) and he embarrassed himself and then it was complicated. and then she invited him to the opera. and then she took his hand and he was shook and didn't know what to do. and then they went to the market and held hands. and then kissed. and now, to quote him, they're "more than friends". and it all sounded so 19th century to me like going to the ball and to the opera and making a big deal out of holding hands. but hey to each their own i guess. if they find it cute and romantic, good for them. i wanted to ask if they fucked in the end bc like come on. but i decided to be more tactful. but now im super invested in this whole story!

idk ive never been courted and i don't know how i would react. how would i act if a boy asked me to a ball and was shy to hold my hand? before B the only interactions i had with men was sa. and with B it all happened so quickly. we made out the second we met. and we slept on the 2nd date (and i remember being disappointed bc i wanted to sleep with him on the 1st date). i wonder how my next relationship is gonna be. i don't know if id have the patience to go thru the hand holding phase and the hugging phase and the kissing phase or whatever. or maybe that's how it's supposed to be idk. but it doesn't feel intense enough.

as we were driving i don't remember how we got onto the topic, but my parents were like "omg imagine if you had a swiss german boyfriend". and at first i was like ew. but the more i thought about it and the more i looked out the window at those little houses and chalets along the road, the more i thought that maybe that's the kind of love i need. it was too intense with B. and we were both too weird. what if i had a normal and blond swiss german boyfriend with parents who weren't divorced and who'd celebrate christmas on the 25th of december with his whole family in their chalet somewhere in the swiss countryside. id be the exotic one of the family of course. but he would be normal and i could pass off as normal. we'd have a cute little normal family with normal values and no family trauma and no trips to the balkans. and i wouldn't have to worry about our kids being messed up. and we would fit into society and have a lukewarm (but nevertheless warm) love story with family dinners and date nights with red wine while the kids are at their grandparents' and a golden retriever and a bmw. and it would be calm and normal and i would be at peace and not having to constantly justify things to others and to myself. maybe that's what i need.

so yeah, that's gonna be my new dream. a swiss german boyfriend with parents who have been married for over 30 years.

the place we're staying at is very nice. but it makes me a bit nostalgic for the trips we would go on with B every winter. to the mountains, to the hot springs. i remember walking into our hotel or airbnb and looking around and anticipating how we're gonna make love there for the next couple of days. it was such a great feeling. but now i know that i don't want to be with him anymore bc it was too intense.

[explorerspack]

i don't do it THAT often as a dm because as a whole I am very big picture plot above all else but man the moments when you just click into an NPC, especially one you care about, and get to REALLY open up with them... nothing like it

[sumeshi-t]

✨ self-ship tag game ✨

PART 2 | IwaLee (here you go, discord)

sorry if it's corny/cheesy LMAO my brain empty i can't think of anything to make for iwa's birthday i'm such a dumbass. was also supposed to draw an nsfw-ish thing for this but ya girl is feelin’ out of it lately sjhfalhj

How we met:

okay let’s just say i’m smart enough to land myself a scholarship in socal since i’m taking physical therapy anyway

i feel like... we would meet in the library LMAO what asian nerds

maybe i’d end up bothering him with the way i’m murmuring anatomy stuff and talking to myself when studying

so he overhears me struggling to remember that one word and he’s gonna fucking answer for me like okay sorry bud i’m stupid

jk i won’t react like that i’d just be like, “yes!” and turn to look at whoever it was who answered and say thank you because i’m so immersed in my own bubble of “knowledge” and big brain

when i notice that he’s actually cute i’d be fucking red in the ears out of embarrassment when he tells me to tone my voice down lmao so i apologize for being a bother :(

actually says, “don’t mind” damnit his english do be cute. just two asian kids far from home with accents

it’s awkward, but i’d steal glances at what he’s studying. would probably get caught after a looong while, but it’s bc i’ll be blanking off, brain tired

“do you have anything you want to ask?” he’ll be dropping his pen over his notes leaning back and stretching, bending his neck, rolling his shoulders while waiting for my answer

“omg i’m so sorry, i didn’t mean to stare.” then i ask what his program is just bc he could be in one of my classes and i didnt know

anyway, turns out our schedules were pretty similar, we live in the same area/dorm, so like there’s always a chance for us to meet somehow

we wouldn’t give numbers to eo on that same day; like give it about two weeks of constantly bumping into eo before that happens

watch me share my highlighters with him, exchanging notes, passing some snacks beneath the table like its weed or sumn

from lib meetings to getting lunch together to being invited to watch his games (in freshman year i’d still go because i’d be less busier)

i would definitely use the honorifics on him, from “iwaizumi-san” gradually to “iwa-kun”; he won't admit that he likes it because it's a little piece of home

would convince to practice palpation with him because his body is a perfect example–

"wh-why don't you ask someone from your class?"

"i'm not that close with—are you blushing? omg you are!"

somehow i joke around, "i won't touch your dick," then i'd laugh at his reaction.

anyway, in return for using his body as a model, i have to sit through a godzilla marathon with him

the first time he sees me breakdown from the stress he's kinda flustered at first; but he's seen similar things with oikawa so he has a faint idea what to do. damn his hugs feel so warm, so safe

i'm quicker to open up to him, once i got comfortable; and reassurance that if he needed someone to talk to i'll also be there

basically a slow burn best friends to lovers kinda thing

ngl i'd be crushing on him by the time we're entering second year maybe? but because we're friends i always throw the thought away because i don't wanna ruin what we have

but da heart wants what it wants

it would take: the teasing of his buddies back at japan after seeing him post ig pics of us together (it was me who did it, i grabbed his phone); and, my own set of friends getting annoyed at me for always being in denial—all these just for us to finally come into terms with what we feel for eo

"i have something to tell you," we'll say to eo before we enter the lib ksksksk

"oh, you go first-" "no, you-"

it's awkward but i'll be the first to confess and he's 👁👁

"you... what?" "smh don't make me say it again, iwa. does this mean we're not friends anymore?"

"yeah"

"oh..."

"because i like you too. you... wanna go out with me?"

First date x type of dates:

study dates are automatically a thing for sure; we've upgraded from lib to cafe dates

since we're like, friends before this, potential stuff for first dates are already crossed out since we've kinda done them already???

so this issue was raised and his mind said, "then let's redo everything,"

the first thing we did outside campus was go on a foodtrip. because i was craving filo food, and he was craving jap food. and then i have this kinda habit that when i get to eat something delicious, i silently squeal or hum in my seat he finds that cute

the "first date" doesn't really have to be grand because we're like... close friends with feelings. so we don't have to try hard to please each other. everything just feels natural when we're together

anyway, we try out the food we didn't have before. he still prefers sinigang over adobo. he's still kinda amazed where i put all the food after eating a bowl of ramen that's good for two

he's gonna take a pic of me in that excited face i make when the food is placed before me and make it his wallpaper (homescreen) secretly

after that, we're just walking, me telling him about something i watched or nerd talk, then he slips his hand against mine, holding it and pulling me closer that it makes me shut up–so he laughs

"that's all it takes to get you quiet, babe?"

"w-what? also... did you just call me babe? because i didn't think i'd like it,"

"i know something you'll like," he stops walking, then, with his free hand he cups my face and pulls in for a kith kith 🥺👉🏻👈🏻

i am blushing when i tell him, "that your first kiss?"

"y-yeah, why?"

"same"

we were already walking and he swoops in for a quick peck again, "then that's the second,"

he says that with a little frown on his face, cheeks also flushed and ugh soft!lee—i lean my head against his arm because i'm too short to put it above his shoulder. but anyway i tell him, "didn't think you had it in you to be this soft for me,"

"sh-shut up"

it doesn't seem romantic because ✨it doesn't have to be when we're already happy✨

While we’re dating:

he saves all the selfies i send him; whether it's the meme-ish ones or just me feelin' good about myself he's got them saved

notebooks getting interchanged kskskss it's terrible because one minute i'm reading my notes about pharma, then i flip a page and i see stuff about sports science like–???

tho what makes it cute is that he has tiny scribbles on corners in hiragana or maybe kanji and some random zigzag lines over some words–a sign that he fell asleep with a pen in his hand

i have lots of caps (that are majority of my dad's but i like them all so i brought sum) and he just... gets one from behind my door (it's the same energy as the hoodies thing)

and i 🥺 bc he actually looks good in caps like??? sir that's illegal

ok but walks in the beach at sunset

also surfer!iwa???? mhhhh yes yes living the dream honestly

ofc volleyball is involved, he's kinda pleased i can play decently. it's either the gym or vb

he would force me to go to the gym smh "you're a PT aren't you? shouldn't you be moving around too?" i'm gonna grumble but the sight of his er, toned body before during and after exercising is the best reward

actually its a win-win, he likes how my butt is outlined by my jog pants and how for him, i still look good even if i'm sweaty all over

hehe we'd end up getting horny by the time we reach the dorms–you know the rest and afterwards:

"so, you'll go to the gym more often now?"

"if it ends up like this, i wouldn't mind,"

we teach eo our mother language! but only on our spare time. omg imagine him telling me "mahal na mahal kita"??? i'm??? or when he's chatting with oikawa (especially that one time he sent a selfie of him and ushijima) he uses tagalog swear words if he just wants to mess with his best friend

vidcalls with each other's fam—i mean, for my parents they know we've been always close, and like, it will be my grandma/dad who'd ask him, "when will you court my granddaughter/daughter?"

he got so nervous, he stuttered, "i'm... i'm courting her already,"

anyway they approve of him because he is smart^TM and a good man 🥺 because they know he has ambitions in life the same way that i do have my own goals i wanna achieve

meanwhile me, i'm gonna be so nervous trying to speak to his fam, but they're all so sweet so i tell him afterwards, "so that's where you get the softies,"

anyway since this is college we're talking about, every passing year, we both become busy, especially when internships come around

but when he can, he'll fetch me from the hospital with comfort food because he knows it's been a rough day and he wants to make sure i'm taking care of myself 🥺👉🏻👈🏻 lowkey i try to do the same for him because he deserves it; but he says it's okay and that i should be preserving my energy for my studies 😭