#I didn't post back then because I lacked the skills to finish the illustration

[lovekisara]

Another unfinished piece from the vault. I always wished these two were given a moment to say goodbye.

[akacatkat]

Finally getting around to post the look back summary on the Nijisanji EN Chocolate Collection!

Completing the collection in 2022 was very challenging. I had a method to creating these and at first it was really fun! But doing it over and over in such a short amount of time wasn't very fun! It was very taxing and at some point it became really difficult to focus. I tried to keep to a strict deadline for each and I worked on multiple at a time, but due to that I couldn't finish each liver on the days I was hoping to complete them. Working on them all at once in order of interest seemed like a really good method. I wished I just had the time and the planning to allow myself to work in that way for the whole project.

For the additions of 2023, I was more lax on creating and posting following a rough deadline, but I was still working/posting in debut order. It helped a little to not take a toll on my physical wellbeing, but with no set deadline I didn't really space things out well, nor did I plan ahead of time like I initially wanted. I guess I wasn't quite looking forward to continue to work on the series because even if it was so cute it was repetitive, and not going to lie, a bit boring to do something so restrictive in style and workflow.

Consistency is difficult for me, not necessarily in the ways of actually drawing consistently but the act of doing something that's so restrictive. Normally when I draw illustrations, there is some aspect to it that is new, but with these chibis, to keep them looking cohesive/similar I needed to stick with the same, textures, brushes, forms, treatments etc. Maybe in the beginning if it was one single large piece it wouldn't have been so tiresome? Having a bunch of individual pieces and files felt endless and disconnected. It was difficult to see progress as a whole and the end goal.

After everything, I'm glad I could complete them! For some, I wished I could have executed better, some I wished I had better ideas for outfits and chocolates. I especially think I could have been more creative with poses. I think another thing that felt limiting was just my lack of skill when it comes to drawing chibis. Chibi poses? Those are really difficult. I also just have a very limited pose

I'm happy I could finish them in a satisfying enough way for myself! It was a fun challenge. I hope there wasn't anyone who was disappointed in my execution of any of the livers, but I did my best to give everyone thought and care even if I didn't know the liver all too well. Would I do something similar in the future? Probably not. I don't exactly have the mental bandwidth for it. If I were to do something like this again I would really need to attack it with a clear yet flexible plan that allowed me to work in a way that kept my interests.

I know I've said that this was the last round of Niji EN Chocolate series, but if no new wave debuts after Krisis by Valentines or White day I'll add Krisis to the collection! But that's also only if I feel up to it. Considering how difficult it is for me to do something repetitive and strict on style, the chances are relatively low. So I'm sorry if anyone was looking forward to it. Consider it a pleasant surprise if I do manage to add on to it!

[novaae]

going on with my first ever weekly update on life, here it is:

I finished and posted a fanfic this Tuesday, and while I think I really should just write the longfic, I'm still glad I got to put out an idea I had in my head for so long.

I also worked on an illustration yesterday, and while I can't see my skills improve from my last piece, I'm just relieved that I finally drew something after a whole week. It was fun ngl.

I've been phoning @just-an-evil-immortal a bit too much, probably to the point of annoying him but also hehehe 👉👈 ily and idc

On a slightly productive note, I gave my psychology exam this Friday and it went fucking horrible I hated it. But I also got back my legal studies exam and while it could have been better, I now know that the most specific area I lack in is legal reasoning.

I'm thinking of sitting for the CLAT alongside CUET, since my reading comprehension isn't that bad and I'm already fairly decent at law. Getting into a National Law University (any of the top 7) would be good career-wise, even if it means I can't do anthropology.

Right now I'm currently still upset with my best friend for revealing a private conversation referring to another person, and even though it was mostly harmless (me joking about a friend not having time for me now that he's dating someone), I'm still irritated over it. I wish it didn't happen.

Also, maybe I'll finally take the gym seriously now that I'll stop going to the gym after November because of exams. Hoping to grow bigger shoulders and lose some weight, I've already restricted how much I eat.

Also I got into some unfair drama last week, with a teacher falsely accusing me of something I never said, and while it was in a student setting, I still have to work with her for another event and I am actually terrified of doing so. I asked my law teacher to fucking stop her from coming in between class, and he responded fairly positively to it. I'm just scared man what if she says shit in front of other teachers??? She used to teach me back in 8th grade and now even that I've changed schools she's just fucking here.

That said I'm proud of how I managed things because if 13yo me was dealing with this, she would have fucking folded.

The weather's getting colder here, and I hope I don't go into the terrible mood I always do in winter. Last two winters were extremely difficult for me emotionally, and I don't want autumn to end just yet.