#I don’t have much 2 say lol I’ve been having a rough time lately erm

[fle4floves]

Sometimes u just gotta draw some dang birds can I get an amen 🔥🔥🔥

[simpsonsnight]

Episode #197

Simpson Tide Season 9 - Episode 19 | March 29, 1998

Well suck my dick and call me catholic, I literally resized the browser window I was writing this into and lohan behold my entire write-up disappeared. Better write a crappier one before I get too pissed off to continue. This is a season 7 episode that was held-over till season 9. It was produced by Al Jean & Mike Reeces “Pieces” Reiss with a batch of other episodes they produced during season 7 that aired much later. I’m pretty sure that this episode was written and recorded significantly earlier than 1998 because who would be making a 1994-style dig at Margaret Cho like Homer does in this? Cho was the star of All-American Girl, a sitcom that aired briefly on ABC that made a big old deal about staring an Asian family. I remember it being a bit of a target. The perception at the time was that Cho was a young comic who hadn’t *quite* paid as much dues as her contemporaries but was being bolstered by a form of network tokenism. I remember her on Comics Come Home and her Pulp Comics and thinking she was funny at the time. I’ve never watched any of her stand-up movies. She was funny on Hollywood Handbook. I have never felt ill-will towards Cho, despite the fact that most of the times people say her name it’s an example of a bad comedian. But, I also don’t really care. Anyway, this one is a very funny episode, and I”m sorry that I spent most of this post talking about Margaret Cho. That’s what happens when an entire write-up gets deleted by tumblr’s graphic interface. I’m not sure what makes this episode so much better than the other Scully-produced episodes. It has a lot of the same qualities. A thin story (though Bart’s earring coming back to save the day is pretty nice), lotsa zany gags, Smithers just showing up to dance with the Villiage people on the submarine for no reason (Jesus, it’s so stupid and yet maybe the hardest I’ve laughed at a gag I’ve seen 20 times). The exploration of Moe’s soft side also continues in this episode: Homer imagines Moe cuddling a kitten and Moe, despite being conjured by Homer’s imagination, looks at Homer’s mind camera and scolds him for peering in him during an unguarded moment of kindness. It’s a gag that only works if Moe is the rough character that he once was in the classic era. Also, I am endlessly disappointed that this episode, which features Bart getting an earring, doesn’t actually include the line “Sparkle sparkle, Homer” (he merely says “sparkle sparkle” TO Homer). Being from solid homophobic Northern California stock it was very common for me to mock the practice of men wearing earrings in the 90s. I have a genuine but shallow distaste for vain/fashionable accoutrements of all kinds, and the diamond stud is something that repulses me to this day, and I take great joy and childishly ribbing modern men who wear them, calling them “girls” like I would have in grade school. “NICE EARRING YOU GIRL”. But one time a friend of mine absolutely slayed me by saying “Sparkle Sparkle Homer” when an audience camera cut to Will Smith at the Oscars. It was one of those insane laughs that caused me to have to desperately catch my breath after 2 straight minutes of uproarious laughter. Had to be there? PROBABLY!

MAIL BAG

It's very funny and interesting that you said you would vote now to Homer when the election has been over for almost two weeks. lol. I wonder if you knew that!

(obviously this was sent shortly after the election) hot tip friend, they let you vote late if you have a gun

IF YOU DON'T UNRIP THE B-SODE I WILL RE-RIP YOUR A-HOLE - Dr. Richard "Bitchtard" Dunn

Sent back when I first killed off the B-SODE! I’m glad I did!!!!! Okay I’ll let you behind the curtain this is one of my friends and the Richard Dunn reference is that I had a doctor with the same name as Tim & Eric’s Richard Dunn who sucked and misdiagnosed my hernia. I had to have emergency surgery and almost missed my friends funeral. IT WAS LIKE A TIM & ERIC SKETCH!!

from the makers of Me So Horny (the thing the prostitutes [erm EXCUSE ME? Sex WORKERS, hello!?!] say in Full Metal Jacket) and Miso Brody (Brody Stevens head in a bowl of Miso Soup, may he broth in peace) bring you a once in a life time moment...B-SODE GROADY (timelapse footage of the b-sode feature rotting away into a perfect skeleton).

This was nice :)

[x0401x]

Three Series Assembling! (Complete Translation)

Side-story from the KyoAni & Do Fan Days event involving Free!, Hibike! and Violet Evergarden. Another translation by @ultimatemegax can be found here.

The place was a certain concert hall in Kyouto. Starting from today, an event titled “KyoAni & Do Fan Days 2017: Sound! From Kyouto to the World” would be held there. In the performers’ waiting room, Oumae Kumiko, Nanase Haruka and Violet Evergarden were having their first exchange with one another.

Part 1:

Kumiko: Nice to meet you, I’m Oumae Kumiko, first-year at Kitauji high school.

Haru: I’m Nanase Haruka, third-year and swimming club member of Iwatobi high school.

Violet: *standing up and bowing* Pleased to make your acquaintance. I am an Auto-Memories Doll who rushes anywhere my clients might desire, Violet Evergarden.

Kumiko: Eh...?!

Haru: Let’s get along.

Violet: Let us indeed get along well, Master, Young Mistress.

Kumiko: Eh...?!

Haru: ......

Violet: ......

Kumiko: Uh, ah, let’s get along, yeah!

Haru: ......

Violet: ......

Kumiko: Hum, I came here for a rehearsal for my band’s concert series. Why did the two of you come here today?

Haru: A film we made during spring break will be screened, so I came here to watch it with my swimming team.

Kumiko: Will it show everyone from the club swimming?

Haru: I haven’t yet watched it, so I have no idea.

Kumiko: So there’s no way you’d know. But it’s rare for people to see themselves in a movie playing somewhere! Wah, amazing! What did you come here for, Violet... chan?

Violet: A mission.

Kumiko: “Mi... Mission”?

Violet: President Hodgins requested me to come here on this day.

Kumiko: Erm... “President”?

Violet: My employer.

Kumiko: I see, hehe. Hum, what will you be doing here?

Violet: My mission is to watch a movie and listen to a concert band performance.

Kumiko: Wah. So you also came for the performance. Thank you!

Violet: Have I done anything warrant your gratitude?

Kumiko: ......

Haru: What’s that “Auto-Memories Doll” stuff you mentioned?

Violet: My occupation.

Kumiko: First time I’ve heard of it. What kind of work do you do?

Violet: It is a profession in which I write letters regarding whatever my client wishes.

Kumiko: So you write letters in your clients’ stead? Sounds difficult...

Haru: *points at a nearby typewriter* You use that?

Violet: Yes. It is a weapon.

Kumiko: “Weapon”...?

Haru: For fighting?

Violet: I do not fight with it.

Haru: ?

Violet: ?

Kumiko: Hum...

Haru: ......

Violet: ......

Kumiko: Ugh, what a heavy mood...! Gotta change the subject!                So, uh, what kinds of letters have you written before?

Violet: I am currently in the process of thorough training.

Kumiko: “Training”...? Ah, so you’re still an apprentice, Violet-chan? Of course, since you’re still young...

Violet: I am indeed undergoing training, but is that related to being young?

Kumiko: Sorry about that... Ah, right! Did you go sightseeing anywhere, Nanase-san?

Haru: I went to the river.

Kumiko: “The... river”?

Haru: One with a wooden bridge across it and lots of people.

Kumiko: Ah, the Great Sanjou Bridge, right? I also go there with my friends when we don’t have practice.

Haru: The water there is too shallow. I couldn’t swim in it.

Kumiko: You’d wanted to swim in the Kamo river?!

Haru: Makoto stopped me, though.

Kumiko: Thank goodness. There was someone to stop you. Violet-chan, where did you come here today from?

Violet: From the mountains.

Kumiko: First the river and now the mountains...                Enough with these guys...!

Violet: Miss Cattleya called it “Arashi”.

Kumiko: Ah! Mount Arashi, right? Were you touring?

Violet: No. We were on a trip to a customer’s place on that day, to write on their behalf.

Kumiko: So you travel to lots of places... sounds like a rough job.

Violet: I do not harbor any feelings of exertion towards it.

Kumiko: Then... sounds like all’s fine, but... ugh... *sighs*

Haru: Oumae, do you live in Kyouto?

Kumiko: Yes, I live in Uji, in Kyouto Prefecture.

Haru: “Uji”? Where the Uji river is?

Kumiko: Yep! Uji river is famous for appearing in “Genji Monogatari”!

Haru: If it were there... I’d be able to swim.

Kumiko: Absolutely not! The Uji river’s stream is so fast that swimming in it is prohibited!

Haru: Is that so...?

Kumiko: Rather, you can’t swim in any river!

Haru: ......

Violet: ......

Kumiko: Ah, uuuuh—oh, yeah, where are you from, Violet-chan?

Violet: I have come from the port city of Leiden, capital of Leidenschaftlich.

Haru: I was born in a port town, too. Do you swim, Violet?

Violet: It is possible for me.

Haru: Oh.

Violet: ......

Haru: ......

Kumiko: ......                Enough already... Somebody save me!

Silence went on after the messy conversation. Would Kumiko, Haruka and Violet be able to come to an understanding with each other?

Part 2:

There had been no laughter in Kumiko, Haruka and Violet’s waiting room. Instead, a serious atmosphere loomed over the place. Kumiko was at her wit’s end when there was a sudden knock on the door...

Cattleya: Excuse us!

Makoto: Ah! Haru! I finally found you!

Reina: So you were in this room.

Kumiko: Reinaaaaaaaaa!

Reina: Hehe, you’re so funny, Kumiko.

Kumiko: I didn’t mean to be funny!

Makoto: Haru, I was startled when you disappeared out of the blue.

Haru: I would’ve come back if you’d called me.

Makoto: Yeah, yeah, you say that after having left us. Everyone was worried!

Cattleya: We were searching for you guys all on our own when we met in the lobby. Then, we hunted for you together.

Reina: This room was super quiet when I passed by earlier, so I didn’t think there was anyone inside.

Kumiko: *gulps*

Cattleya: Wait, were you chatting? Violet, you’ve changed a bit, haven’t you?

Kumiko: Yes. She’s very strange... AH!

(T/N: This just now was a pun that gets lost in the translation. The word “strange” can be written with the same characters as “changed” in Japanese. Kumiko misunderstood what Cattleya meant at first and blurted out something with a different meaning, lol.)

Cattleya: Don’t sweat it. She’s only just started getting around. There’s still quite a lot that she doesn’t yet know.

Kumiko: No, I think there’s a lot in this world that I also don’t know about.

Reina: You weren’t able to have a conversation at all, were you?

Kumiko: Hic...!

Makoto: That’s okay! Everyone gets nervous when meeting people for the first time. So, why don’t we try talking about something now?

Cattleya: Let’s do it~. So... who’s got something to discuss?

Reina: Why don’t we choose a subject that anyone can talk about? Like what food we enjoy?

Kumiko: Yeah! I like cooking eggs, and I really love making fluffy rice omelets!

Haru: Mackerel.

Makoto: That’s right. Haru is really good at cooking. He can make various types of dishes with mackerel.

Kumiko: Oh~, amazing!                Thank God some normal people came to my aid!

Cattleya: What about you, Violet?

Violet: So long as I obtain the necessary amount of nutrients to be able to move around, I have no problem with consuming anything.

Cattleya: Hahaha! *strained laughter* Sorry, everyone.

Reina: *discreetly* Was she like that all this time?

Kumiko: *quietly* Yep.

Makoto: Well, everybody has things they like and don’t like to eat. So why don’t we pick something else to talk about?

Reina: Then, how about “stuff we’ve done lately”?

Makoto: Sounds great!

Haru: I got my driver’s license.

Everyone: Oooh!

Cattleya: Violet’s done something like that too, you see!

Violet: I have practiced my typing.

Everyone: Oooooooh!

Cattleya: She was pretty unskilled at the beginning, but once she started training, she improved very quickly.

Kumiko: You two are incredible... I... uh, something I’ve done recently? Hmmm? This is bad, nothing is coming to mind!

Reina: What about “that thing”?

Kumiko: Ah! In the band, I’ve finally become able to play a line that was hard for me before.

Makoto: That’s wonderful!

Haru: Yeah!

Cattleya: You’ve certainly put a lot of effort in there.

Kumiko: T-Thank you very much!

Makoto: What instrument do you play?

Kumiko: I play the eupho.

Haru/Makoto/Cattleya: “UFO”?

Kumiko: Of course you wouldn’t know of it. It’s a brass instrument that is basically a smaller version of the tuba. Since it’s part of the bass section, it might be a bit too trifling for people to know... By the way, Reina plays the trumpet.

Haru/Makoto/Cattleya: I know the trumpet.

Kumiko: Of course you would...

Cattleya: My, so you both are actual musicians!

Kumiko: I wouldn’t consider myself a musician...

Cattleya: Speaking of which, Violet also brought a book to read for the performance!

Violet: This book is also about the euphonium.

Kumiko: Ah! It’s the “Fun Euphonium”!

Violet: “The euphonium is a brass instrument in the low-middle range. Its trait is a soft, temperate sound that envelopes the audience.”

Makoto: Is that so? I’ll make sure to pay attention for it during the performance.

Kumiko: Ah, please do...                I’m sort of happy...

Makoto: But concert bands must have tough practices. It’s a cultural club, and you need a lot of stamina, too.

Kumiko: Well, it’s not easy... but I really like it.

Haru: It’s good to treasure the things you’re fond of.

Kumiko: Yeah! Nanase-san, you sure love swimming, right?

Haru: Yes. I want to continue swimming, too.

Kumiko: Hehehe. I somewhat feel like performing right now.

Reina: Kumiko, it’s almost time for the ensemble practice.

Kumiko: It is! We gotta go.

Makoto: Haru and I should be heading to the screening too. Well, then, you two make sure to do your best tomorrow!

Cattleya: We’ll be looking forward to listening to your performance.

Kumiko: Everyone, thank you so much! Violet-chan, will you come to see tomorrow’s concert?

Violet: Affirmative. *bows* I shall endeavor to analyze the music at the concert of you two.

Haru: It’s not just them; a concert is something created by the whole band. It’s just like a relay.

Kumiko: Ah, true! Everything comes back to swimming for you, Nanase-san!

Haru: ......

Makoto: Hahaha. *strained laugh*

Cattleya: You two are pretty in-synch as well!

Kumiko: Uh? Ah! *forces mouth shut*

Reina: Hehe, that’s so like you, Kumiko.