#I don’t see it that way??????? I don’t consider it particularly brave or tenacious it’s an obligation and I did what I needed to 💁🏻‍♀️

[cooliogirl101]

Did Hisana leave an impression on Squad 11 too? and their relationship with Squad 4? I imagine her squad 4 friends reaching out asking for help to become stronger like she was, and squad 11 agrees out of respect. It starts with their cat and mouse games on a small scale with just her old friends, but then they draw in others and it grows into a squad-wide mutual support. Fast forward 100 years Squad 4 isn't sneered at like in canon, they're actually a force to be reckoned with.

Yes, Hisana did leave an impression on Squad 11, but only in the sense that they consider her an honorary member and treat her like any one of their own deceased. She didn’t really change their impression of Squad 4 as a whole; nah, that’s something the 4th Division did on their own. 

See, the thing is, Yukimura Hisana was fearless, bright, skilled, charismatic, and persistent. Now, that’s a high standard to live up to; after all, the majority of the 4th Division consists of Academy ‘leftovers’; so they’re not particularly brave, smart, popular, or talented. But what they can do is be persistent; if they can’t force a person to comply through physical force, they’ll annoy them into complying instead (they’re not quite at the level of ‘follow people into bathrooms’ but they are at the level of knocking persistently on every locked door until they get their way). Of course, a lot of people didn’t take this very well in the beginning, but–

(”For fuck’s sake, if you don’t leave me the hell alone, I’ll–!” Yamamoto Daishi burst out as he yanked the door open, eyes wild. The annoying little grub who’d been knocking at his door for the past two hours smiled placidly at him.

“Kill me?” He asked calmly, not even having the decency to look the slightest bit frightened. “You’re welcome to try. Just as you’re welcome to shove your own guts back into your body the next time some hollow slices you open and you require our services. Now please let me in sir, it’s rude to keep people waiting at the door.”)

Some Fourth Division members didn’t like the new change in policy either, but spite can be a powerful motivator.

(”Why are we trying so hard to save those assholes, anyway? I mean sure, there’s professionalism and all that, but the world would be a better place without them, if you ask me.”

“You don’t save them because you like them or because they’re good people,” Iemura said calmly, not bothering to look up from his paperwork. “You save them because you’ve already invested countless hours of your life keeping them alive. As such, they don’t get to die due to their own stupidity, or some hollow, or any reason besides old age– because if they die, every hour, minute, second you’ve invested into them goes to waste. They don’t get to die because their life belongs to you now...understood?”)

So in the future, yes, they do have Squad 11′s respect, and they earned it entirely on their own merits. Sure, they also annoy the hell out of them– and every other squad (in fact, their reputation around the Seireitei is ‘those tenacious little buggers, I’d love to chuck the whole lot of them off a cliff but they’d probably climb right back up, wait until I was in the middle of sex, then pop up and tell me with a smile that yes, my STD results were positive’)– but you can’t say they aren’t taken seriously anymore. 

[ahomeganeyatsu]

Ran Off in the Night (Part 10)

“Eliott!”

He stopped by the steps of the Institute. He stifled the urge to roll his eyes and looked back to see Lucille coming through the doors. To anyone else, she would come off as a woman who had a penchant for dressing in all black. Eliott knew better though. He could easily pick out the weapons she hid underneath. Knives, throwing stars, a seraph blade, but her preferred weapon was concealed through a bracelet—a garrote fashioned from adamas.

“Do you think you should be out on patrol already?” the question took him out of his observation. Her hand wrapped around his upper arm. A light pressure that had his skin prickling. He could understand her concern, and on any day he knew how to appreciate it. On any other day, Eliott knew how to bite his tongue. Unfortunately, the encounter with his uncle was too fresh and Lucille questioning him like this rubbed him the wrong way.

“I’m not a child Lucille,” he replied tartly, shrugging off her hold, “you don’t need to hover over me like you’re my mother.”

“I didn’t mean it like that. I’m just—”

“What? Worried I’ll do something stupid and get someone killed? Expose the shadow world to some mundane?” He watched as Lucille shrunk away from him, his words wrapped in barbed wire. A part of him snorted and whispered derisively how he was ready to do the latter for a certain blue-eyed boy. Memory charm be damned. The larger ignored it in favor of glaring at the woman in front of him. “I may have issues,” he continued spitting the word, “but I’m not an idiot.”

He left without saying anything else. Running into the night, his figure swallowed by the shadows.

He found himself sitting outside a familiar window. He didn’t even realize this was where his feet were leading him. Not until he stood in front of the building, eyes planning out his route to reach that particular window.

Lucas should be home by now.

He felt the smile creeping up on his face just being able to say his name. Even if it was only in the privacy of his own mind. He knew the boy’s schedule by heart now. Eliott was anything if not tenacious in his self-assigned mission.

A week shouldn’t have been enough to establish Lucas’ schedule, but the teen seemed to be a creature of habit. He hangs out with the same group of boys and is comfortable with a specific group of girls to laugh and joke around. (Eliott had been delighted to see him smile for once. To see that little bit of weight shrugged off from his shoulders. His eyes a smidgeon bluer, brighter.) His classes start around 8 and end somewhere between 4 and 5, depending on the day but he never leaves without seeing his friends first. Wednesdays are an exception, as they were half days. He goes straight home. Avoids being caught out in the evening alone. He doesn’t eat much; if he does, he eats like it’s his last meal. He’s good at hiding it. In fact, Eliott was bewildered how someone like Lucas—with those big blue eyes and that beautiful face, whose smile unconsciously tugs at your own lips and heart, who’s blunt and brave—could easily fade into the background. Lucas was bright like his name. And it nearly had Eliott pulling his hair out why he would just dim his light like that.

(But he does. Eliott understood more than he was willing to admit to himself.)

Eliott scaled the building quickly and sat on the short ledge on the window. The curtains were drawn as always. The window unlocked and unclosed. Eliott could easily slide it open, widen the gap and slip through. The young shadowhunter frowned. He was going to have to remind Lucas of the dangers of leaving his window open like that. It was inviting trouble! If Eliott could get in, how much more would others from the Shadow World?

Eliott tried not to think about Lucas leaving the window open for him. How Lucas felt safe enough around him to leave his damned window unlocked.

It was a task that ended in vain. Eliott still tried.

Keeping silent, the young shadowhunter peered into the room. It was dark. The lights off. He activated the rune that enabled his vision to see in the dark but there wasn’t a lump curled under the comforter. His brows furrowed. It was too early for Lucas to be in bed. But it was late for him to still be outside. Maybe he went out with his friends?

He hadn’t been around the past few days. He wouldn’t have known if the boy had plans.  He could track him if he really wanted to. It was easy enough to do so. He still had the shirt Lucas wore the night they met. Even without the blood, he’d still be able to track him.

Eliott knew he should quit while he was ahead. He was standing on thin ice as it is; he couldn’t afford to get into any more trouble.

But something didn’t feel right.

Eliott didn’t know what exactly, but there was something buzzing in the air like a wire pulled tautly and waiting to snap.

Or maybe it was just him.

He was readying himself to jump into the other building when he heard it. A voice, male, and one he associated with Lucas’ roommate. A guy who’s name started with an M and ended with something.

A knock, then a tentative, “Lucas?”

When no answer came, Eliott heard the door click and it slowly swung open. “Lucas, are you asleep?” The guy sounded uncertain. Eliott didn’t blame him. Even Lucas would find it too early to pretend to be asleep. It wasn’t too far a stretch for the teen’s roommates to be aware of his nightly habits. They must have broached the topic to him somehow. Then again, Eliott did notice that Lucas wasn’t particularly close to any of his roommates. They got along fine. Eliott could just see that wall blocking Lucas off. A wall Lucas himself put up.

He watched as the guy poked his head into Lucas’ room and upon seeing the empty—if a bit messy—bed, the man frowned and let the door open fully. Light spilled into the room and it didn’t change the fact that Lucas wasn’t there. It only made it clearer.

“Lisa? Did Lucas come home yet?” the guy called out to someone inside their flat. His eyes roaming the room, picking out possible clues to his younger flatmate’s whereabouts.

“How would I know? I was asleep,” was the grumbled reply. “Can’t you see if his bag is there?”

A few beats passed. “It isn’t.”

“Then there’s your answer.”

“Fuck,” the guy muttered under his breath. He sounded exasperated and worried and Eliott knew there was a story behind that. “I’m going out. Text me if he comes home.” A grunt was the only reply he received.

The door shut with a click.

The pit in Eliott’s stomach dug deeper. He needed to find Lucas. Something about this screamed trouble.

Tonight seemed to be a night where things didn’t go as expected.

He had looked everywhere. Any place Lucas could possibly be. He went to his school. The park where he saw Lucas and his friends hang out. He even went to the bus stop where he first interacted with him. It was just by coincidence that he had caught sight of the boy’s friends walking towards a direction away from Lucas’ apartment. He felt hope swell up in him and felt it deflate. There was no trace of messy brown hair and soul-sucking blue eyes with them.

“—not answering his phone—”

“Probably not in the mood—”

“—looked preoccupied the whole afternoon.”

“—think he’s alright?”

“Dunno.”

Eliott didn’t catch the whole conversation. He wanted to follow them, hear the whole story but his sensor began to beep, alerting him of demon activity nearby. He gave the group of boys another glance. The sensor began to beep more incessantly. With a frustrated breath, he turned around and dug the sensor out of his pockets. He just hoped it’s not some mundane trying to summon a demon for a deal.

On second thought, maybe a mundane summoning a demon was better than this.

Eliott flicked his wrist, black ichor splattering on the concrete as he tried to clean the blades of his chakrams. It wasn’t very successful seeing as demon ichor had the horrible habit of clinging to anything. He watched the demon carcass twitch before it sunk and faded into the ground, returning into the dimension it crawled out from. He grimaced. The scent of brimstone lingered sharp and foul in the air.

The sensor had grown quiet, no demon energy to pick up. That didn’t mean Eliott was done. Ravener demons hunted in packs, and one meant more of them. Seeing as the demon sensor had stopped, Eliott could only assume that this one ravener had either diverged from its group and was following another lead or Eliott had just caught the tail of the pack. He had to assume its pack was outside the radius of his sensor.

With another flick of his wrist, the blades of his weapon retracted making them look like harmless little hoops. He hooked them into his weapon’s belt and scanned the surroundings.  The street was familiar to him at least. His enhanced hearing could pick up the sounds of music coming from the clubs a few streets down. There was only one club he knew of that was in this particular area. A club that was the familiar haunt of all inhabitants of the Shadow world. It was even considered neutral ground through some unspoken agreement.

It was also a place frequented by the would-have High Warlock of Paris if she hadn’t declined and recommended Rouge instead. (If Eliott had heard through the grapevine correctly, she had practically begged Rouge to take it.) He hadn’t met Quellen Squall yet. Stories about her varied but it didn’t take a genius to know that she just didn’t want to be bothered by such a title. Her file in the Institute said she recently returned to Paris after living overseas. No one knew where exactly, but she had the tendency of going off the grid for some time. No one could also tell what made her come back. And no one seemed interested in uncovering it.

He began to walk in the direction of the club. He briefly entertained the thought of going inside. Just imagining the flashing lights, the blaring music, and the crowd all packed in one space made his skin crawl and his breath momentarily seize. By some divine intervention, his sensor let out a faint beep.

Not a second later and he was standing in the mouth of an alley. Under the smell of garbage, piss, and smoke, he picked up the barely there scent of a ravener demon. His heightened eyesight was able to see the long scrapes on the pavement only a ravener’s claws could create. The beeping was becoming a steady rhythm now. His heart matching the pace it was setting.

Well, he definitely wasn’t wrong about catching the tail of the pack. The pit in his stomach expanded and the dread rushed in like a tidal wave. His feet were moving, breaking out into a run before he even thought of the action. He was on autopilot as he followed the sensor. The shrill beeping growing louder and faster as he came closer and closer. It usually irritated him but right this moment it was more ominous than anything.

He had taken to higher ground. A better vantage point was more helpful than anything. He had stopped at a ledge and looked down. He could hear the sound of traffic, the panicky beeping of his demon sensor and his heart thundering away in his chest. His eyes scanned the sight below, trying to catch any sign of a pack of ravener dem— THERE!

He dashed through the rooftops, following the scaled creature as it chased down its quarry. Eliott’s hearing honed in on the panted breaths of another individual. He moved faster and from his position he saw what the demons had been chasing.

Eliott felt icy claws sink into his chest and spread through his system. He recognized that figure. He can never mistake that for anyone else.

Time began to slow down around him.

He watched as Lucas stopped at a dead end, frantically looking for a way out that simply wasn’t there. The boy was too focused on the ravener behind him to even see the one creeping on his side. He was running, pushing his legs to move faster. But he won’t make it. Even when his arm drew back and threw one of his chakrams, the ravener had been faster, closer. His weapon embedded itself on the wall, completely missing its target.

Eliott didn’t even hear himself scream.

He was falling. His hands clutched the throwing knives before letting it rain on the two raveners. He wasn't going to let them touch the prone form. His mind slipped into a blank calmness and allowed himself to sink into the training that's been drilled into him as a child.

It still rang in his ears though. Focusing on the way Lucas’ head hit the hard, cold stone, his heightened hearing amplifying it into a sickening crack.

[xiucas]

                                       “媽咪, 我哋要去哪裡?”                                   mama, where are we going?

a - “i’m american, actually.”

it’s quite often that people mistake joshua for being foreign by good ol’ fashion assumptions of race. while he was originally born in hong kong, joshua was adopted by an american family when he was four years old. 

b - brave

while he would never consider himself to be as such, joshua is the first person to jump in defense of those he cares for. and on top of that, he goes into haunted buildings for a hobby/living so he isn’t exactly easy to spook.

c - “our last name is clark.”

he was adopted at four years old, raised within a large family of other adopted siblings. it was strange, having to learn a new language and take on a whole new life. and that new life began with a new name. huang li jie became joshua clark.

d - dishi

dishi, a beloved stuffed rabbit he brought to boston with him after the adoption was finalized. it is the only keepsake he possesses that was given to him by this birth mother. it has been repaired so often, joshua has lost count how many times his mom stitched him back together. now that he’s on his own, the young man has taken up the repairs on his own. he plans to die with that rabbit by his side.

e - eight

it was around eight years old that the nightmares finally started to fade, a relief to his family as it had been difficult to endear. years of this tiny soul crawling into beds that he could find, seeking comfort from whomever would give it to him. perhaps not every night, but consistent. the wet streets disappeared, the incoherent rabble of cantonese shouting ebbed away. and the tears evaporated upon a face he had begun to forget.

f - “you are my best friend.”

he had always felt on the outs growing up, always being the weird kid that talked too much and made people question if he was normal or not. it took him ages, but in school he found someone to trust, someone who didn’t treat him like a freak. elliot kelly was there for him through his awkward stages up through his present as he embarks on adulthood with a college degree under his belt and a dream of youtube stardom. if there is one person on earth that he would call his most trusted and best friend, it’s him.

g. “ghosts, man! ghosts!”

it had started as a joke, a passing conversation of what it would be like to have it. and then it became a reality when joshua came home one day with a new expensive camera and a passion to take a chance. who cares if it didn’t pan out, it would be fun just to mess around with the idea and maybe have a good time doing it. besides i mean, ghosts, man! ghosts!

h - “hauntings aren’t always about apparitions and cold spots. sometimes it’s just a feeling.”

during his internship at a tech company, the channel began to pick up traction and with the addition of their mutual friend, percy, they had a full-fledge channel. subscribers were pouring in and suddenly they were making money off of their channel and not just messing around with a camera. soon, people were inviting them to their alleged haunted buildings, and suddenly it wasn’t a hobby anymore. he abandoned his internship to put his focus purely in the channel. and they’ve recently hit their first million subscribers.

i - “i love you.”

romance was fleeting, something that joshua had never put too much effort into. especially considering he never thought he was particularly interesting. attractive, sure, but that was only skin deep. martha parker was the first girl that joshua ever said i love you to. and while it may not have lasted, it never faded but simply evolved into an unbreakable bond. sometimes your first love is meant for more than just a memory.

j - “i actually like jogging.”

by the time high schoo hit, joshua had grown into himself somewhat and the overwhelming awkwardness gave way to a more charming awkward. however, instead of throwing himself into multiple relationships in his teenage years, he spent most of it in the gym with his peers working out. he enjoys fitness and is more often in motion than not. he is the type to suggest going on a hike before going to the movies.

k - kin

family? friends? his entire family is based on you make your family; it isn’t always blood. and it’s with this example that joshua has lived his entire life as making his own family. his friendships are an extension of that body, of that ever evolving nervous system. it is why he only keeps positive influences in his life.

l - last minute snack run

there is no shortage of junk in the kelly/clark household. so much so in fact that he will drop everything if he has a craving something unhealthy for him. he may be a fitness nerd, but you better believe he needs his cheetos or else there will be hell to pay.

m - maya

a twitch goddess, a crush, a friendship. this girl is someone that joshua would likely drop everything for if she ever asked it of him. he may not know it yet but she has ‘love of my life’ radiating off her in waves, in the way she smiles and the way she moves. he may be a fool, but he is determined to not screw it up. maya is a once in a lifetime type of person. even an idiot can see that. 

n - “you’re damn right i’m into that nerd shit!”

growing up joshua often struggled to bond with his peers as he tended to not enjoy the same things as the other kids his age. up until middle school, joshua tended to avoid sports (until he realized he was good at them), and often preferred the company of books and film. that extended to comic books as well, and sometimes got mocked for it while growing up. and even now, as he would consider himself confident in who he is, he will be the first to defend this so called ‘nerd shit’.

o - “ooooooooooh!”

it’s not to say that he’s an idiot, but he can sometimes come off like one because he struggles to pay attention to things. especially on the first time around. often, you might have to repeat yourself before he truly comprehends what you said. he’ll get there, give him a minute.

p - “which parents do you want me to talk about cuz--it’s not that easy.”

joshua is adopted, a member of the extensive clark clan. while he appreciates his family more than he can say; he had a very stable childhood. however, his biological family is something that has been a bit of a mystery for him. his memories are hazy if not filled with faceless people speaking in unintelligible mumbles. he was too young to remember. but joshua is tenacious, and he isn’t willing to let it fade with time.

q - “oh do you remember this quote from--”

this kid is constantly quoting things from books, tv shows, and movies. in fact, it could be argued that the majority of his personality was formed from the media. odds are, he is the one in the group who is snapping his fingers and flailing quite ostentatiously trying to remember the quote from something he watched the other day that is relevant to the conversation. or so he thinks.

r - reason to smile

his happy place is the editing room, listening to music while they attempt to get the best content out of their footage as possible. this is usually all three of them collaborating together so everyone has equal say in what they put out there for everyone to watch. they are a team, and it’s one of the best things in the world for joshua to be a part of it. it’s his favorite thing in the entire world.

s - shelter

never one to waste free time, with what little he has joshua gives it to the local no-kill animal shelter where he spents a few hours a week taking care of the animals and helping them get adopted to good homes. he often begs his roommate if he can bring animals home often met with a negative response. even so, he is the one who is out in the yard playing with the dogs to make sure they get socialized.

t - trust

he may come off fun-loving and without a care in the world, but trust is something that isn’t easily won with him considering his circumstances. if you cross him or someone who he cares for deeply, it is likely you will never possess his earnest trust. it’s just the luck of the draw.

u - "what are you doing with my underwear?”

please, if you think this kid is basic, you haven’t been paying attention to him at all. he may have basics in his drawers, but this kid is the type to go into a store and see spongebob boxer briefs and immediately buy them because its god damn spongebob, guys! he is whimsical with his clothes most of the time, so his underwear can’t be boring either.

v - “we’re on vacay!”

joshua is planning a trip to hong kong to take over the holidays as he continues on his journey to find his birth mother. he’s unaware of the journey is going to take him right to his backyard, but for the time being, he is enjoying the planning portion of the trip. after all, he is learning about where he came from and also going away on location. what could go wrong...

w - “you are the fuckin’ worst!”

he is no saint, and he has his fair share of bad habits. like leaving his dirty clothes all over the place, leaving wet towels on the bathroom floor, and leaving empty energy drink cans all over the place. he is a god damn mess and i feel terrible for people who have to live with him. sorry, elliot.

x - “i still think xena is hot!”

strong women are kind of a thing for joshua, as he has a tendency to crave structure, a thing he has been severely lacking since moving out on his own. women who know what they want and aren’t afraid to admit it are his kink. if you boss him around he will listen like the dutiful young man he is.

y - “youtube is paying us, bro!”

it seems new subscribers come in waves as each day passes and because of this, joshua is spending a lot of his time collaborating with other content providers, local historians, and anyone who will listen to him ramble in order to provide the best content to their audience. he is hardworking to the end, especially considering they are making that youtube cash!

z - “zombies terrify the shit out of me, please don’t--”

that’s it. zombies freak him out. please don’t dress up as one and spook him, he will literally squeal like a girl and throw something at your face. proceed with caution.

! - “oh shit!”

nothing elaborate to put here, the boy just has a terrible mouth and tends to curse more often than not. someone get soap for this child’s mouth, it’s dirty.

, - “listen,”

he often has to explain how much of a trash can he is. trust me, he is well aware of his own shortcomings. 

? - “huh?”

sorry, you are going to have to repeat yourself a lot, but that’s okay, because you never know if he’s playing a prank on you or if he genuinely wasn’t paying attention. can he be trusted? that’s a fair question.

: - “you ARE the father 2: electric boogaloo”

joshua will be meeting his birth father, a rather cataclysmic ending to his birth mother journey that will require a lot of explanations, shouting matches, and trying to come to terms with the fact that sometimes, young people just make mistakes and there is no real rhyme or reason as to why anything happens. parents are people too, kids. don’t forget that.

[thedeadflag]

Here’s more of the Oh No There Is Only One Bed What Do clanya AU

(Part 1)(Part 2)(Part 3)(Part 4)(Part 5)

Part 6 below

Content Warning: transmisogyny, transmisogynistic slurs, transphobia

"...and so that's when I jumped out of the tree." Clarke noted with a grin, one that only grew wider at Anya's dumbstruck expression, a mix of horror and amusement swirling in her eyes.

And maybe when Anya rested a hand on her thigh for the fourth time since they sat on her favourite wooden bench, maybe she allowed herself the hope that they were having a decent time. Or, that Anya was having a decent time.

"The tree by the pool? The one with bottom branches higher than your house?" Anya asked with a short laugh.

"Yep. Of course, I didn't exactly land on the trampoline like I wanted, and I took a tumble on the stone instead of a nice launch into the pool, but at least I didn't walk away empty-handed." Clarke continued, feeling her cheeks bloom as Anya lightly rubbed at her thigh. Even if there was a thin layer of lace preventing skin on skin contact, it still lit up her core something fierce.

"A scar, I imagine?" Anya asked, cocking an eyebrow and returning her hand back to her side.

"I was gonna say a story, but yeah. Most of them healed well enough that you can't tell, but there's one along my left shoulder blade, and across the back of my left calf." Clarke answered, heart bursting with adoration at how Anya's features immediately softened, concern pooling in her eyes. "Don't give me those puppy dog eyes, I was fine. My mom patched me up and put me through a gauntlet of one-sided lessons on safety and health, and gave me more chores than I knew how to handle for worrying her, but I was fine."

Anya offered a sharp nod. "Your mother sounds like a smart woman."

"Don't let her hear you say that, I'd never hear the end of it." Clarke practically groaned. She had a feeling that her mom and Anya would probably get along famously in a lot of ways, many of which could be exasperating.

Still, that was probably better than the alternative if she wanted to create something long-term with Anya, and she did.

"I know the feeling. Ever since I started working out over here in the morning, my mom and dad have been stressing how wonderful you are." Anya admitted, perking up Clarke's ears at the notion that she'd inexplicably won Anya's parents' approval despite having never actually met them. "I mean, I know that the hospital your mom works at keeps my mom on retainer, so there's already probably some sort of history and goodwill there, but still. If I have to sit through another fifteen minute conversation about how 'Columbia's such a strong school, Anya', or 'why, Clarke must be so intelligent, Anya', I'll probably slam my face into the nearest hard surface. No offense."

It was interesting to hear Anya gripe about her parents, particularly her impressions, but it was especially a relief not to hear even a tinge of bitterness in her words, just exhaustion. "None taken, but please don't rough up that pretty face of yours, even if your parents seem to love me from afar." She countered, laughing as Anya rolled her eyes. "Seriously, though, they'll probably ambush us on the occasional weekend. You'll get to see just how wild my mother can be, and I'm sure yours will have their expectations tempered once they learn I'm a real living person, flaws and all."

"Mmmh. I...hm..." Anya let out, aborting on whatever she'd considered saying, brow knitting in thought, body tensing up. Everything Clarke was reading off the other girl practically screamed hesitation as seconds ticked past, so she just waited it out. Hard as it was, as antsy as it made her, she needed to give Anya time and space. She had to be patient.

Eventually, Anya let out a sigh, head slumping forward ever so slightly, marring her previously pristine posture. "As much as I've enjoyed myself tonight...and I absolutely have...my parents are going to be insufferable over the next few months once they hear about tonight." Anya spoke, barely louder than a murmur, Clarke needing to lean closer to completely hear her. "In high school, they'd keep prodding me to join the GSA, to make friends with you. When I told them I'm only into women, well...all they saw was that my options were narrowed, but they'd point at you. You were the brilliant daughter of Arkadia Medical Center's Chief of Surgery and the lead engineer in Sinclair Aeronautics, you were bisexual, you were friends with Lexa and Costia. When we began working out, it only intensified. I can't imagine what they'll say after tonight."

On one hand, it was amusing to hear how tenacious Anya's parents were at trying to pair them up. On the other hand, it must have been frustrating after what she'd done to Anya, and Clarke knew how exhausting parental meddling could be.

Still, it did give her a little hope. "They just want to know you're happy, princess. That's probably all it is."

"Well, consider it mission accomplished. At least for tonight, I suppose." Anya said, teeth gnawing slightly at the corner of her lip, and if Clarke hadn't been watching so closely, she might not have spotted the flicker of doubt in her eyes.

"And past tonight?" She knew maybe it was pressing, that maybe Anya wasn't ready to answer that question yet, but she couldn't help herself, not when she felt so close to some sort of breakthrough on understanding how Anya felt about her.

She'd had a lot of puzzle pieces up to then, but when Anya turned her head away, swallowing hard, letting out a breath that stuttered with defeat, that puzzle suddenly found itself taking shape into something she hadn't remotely seen coming.

"I've been having such a wonderful night, Clarke. I don't want to taint this fitting bookend to the first chapter of our lives. It wouldn't be fair to you." Anya spoke, her words only confirming what she'd quickly come to understand.

It was absurd, of course, but it also wasn't the sort of thing she could laugh off. Pet names would probably have to be held back for a bit too, reluctantly. "I've had fun tonight, too, but Anya...you know this isn't just some one-night thing for me, right?"

Anya's scoff came out sharp, sending a sudden tight pain in Clarke's chest at the brave face Anya plastered on. "Clarke, you're only days away from being inundated with thousands upon thousands of peers who will have so, so much to offer. That's significant. Don't pretend it's not."

"Okay, it's true, we're moving in a few days and there'll be a lot of people our age. Lots to choose from. What of it? I like you. Don't sell yourself short." Clarke argued, taking some solace in how Anya's cheeks flushed slightly, in the tiny hint of a smile at the edges of Anya's lips.

"I know you like me, but you don't have to date me to prove anything. And I know I'm a catch, Clarke. I'm not selling myself short, I'm just being realistic. Dating me would complicate things. I'm almost certainly going to be out in New York. Anyone who's with me would have to deal with publicly dating a trans woman of colour and all the crap that can come along with it. It'd be a lot easier, and a lot less stressful to date someone else, not to mention I'm getting into the prestigious and entirely stable career of writing, while you're on track to be a doctor. That's more than enough difficulty in your life without having to maybe worry about my prospects." Anya rambled, and Clarke had to admit that some of her points were entirely true and worthy of consideration.

She hadn't dated a trans person before, or known anyone who had. She'd seen comments online and on television targeted at trans folks and the people who loved them, though, and there was a disturbing amount of vitriol. Clarke hoped in New York, that things would be better than there in Arkadia, but it wasn't a sure thing. It could make her life a little more difficult, a little more stressful, certainly.

But Anya was worth it. All things considered, Clarke knew who she wanted to be with.

"I wouldn't be dating you to prove anything, or to satisfy some lingering guilt...I like you, Anya. And I know enough about what I'd be signing up for. Sure, there's infinite possibilities off in New York, but I see someone who I care about and want to have a relationship with, and she's sitting right next to me. She's passionate and intelligent, determined and kind, and so deeply beautiful. So all that potential doesn't matter, not when you're here." Clarke laid out her case, lifting a hand to gently bring Anya to face her again, to meet those soft amber eyes brimming with tears. "I want to date you, Anya. I want something with you that'll last, and I believe we could. If you don't feel the same, then I'll respect that, I'll back off and keep working at being a better friend...but if you do? Then why couldn't we give us a chance?"

The feel of Anya ever so slightly leaning into her touch would have had her heart blooming if not for the tear track running down her left cheek. "And if I'm scared?"

"That's the only time we can be brave." She stroked her thumb across the girl's cheek.

A sharp laugh blurted out of Anya. "You're appealing to my pride and stubbornness."

"Maybe so. But...I just mean it's alright to be scared. And you'd have me to lean on, and all the other people in your life who love you. We can be brave together." Clarke asserted, shooting Anya a smile. "I love that big heart of yours. I want to keep it safe. And as much as all this change coming up scares me, it won't change that I'd fight for you. As a friend or a girlfriend, I'd be brave with you, Anya. And we can get through whatever we face."

Anya lifted a hand to cover the one caressing her cheek and leaned blatantly into her touch, letting out a soft sigh. "You can't be there every hour, Clarke. We'll be in dorms, we'll have roommates. We'll live on opposite ends of the island. We'll be busy."

"Of course we'll be busy, but we're only a half hour apart. We have phones, and Skype, and Discord. And you may live in a dorm with roommates...roommates who I hope will be good to you...but if you ever need an escape, I've got an apartment. If you ever need sanctuary, if you need alone time, it's yours. Even if we don't get together, the second bedroom is yours whenever you want it." Clarke countered, feeling a swell of confusion as Anya's features twisted.

"You got an apartment in Manhattan?" Anya asked, clear disbelief saturating her words.

Really, she could only shrug. She knew she was fortunate to be as well off as she was. "The interest I make in my trust fund every month is a little more than double what the rent would cost. My mom wants me to have somewhere I can escape to, free of the distractions of dorm life, so we got a good deal on a nice two bedroom place near Columbia. Not a huge amount of square footage, but one of the bathrooms has a big jacuzzi tub, and the other a really nice walk-in shower, and the kitchen's a good size and has a full oven and range. The second bedroom and closets aren't real big, but they're big enough. Got a gym across the road that's reasonably decent. Got a washer and dryer in the unit. It's a nice place. If you take the W from NYU up to Times Square and forty-second street, and then the three to a hundred and sixteenth street, you're practically at my doorstep in thirty minutes."

"You've really thought this through." Anya mused openly, practically emanating surprise and wonder, warm amber eyes searching her own.

"Well, summer's kind of boring. You're still bouncing around in my head most mornings after you leave, so I get to thinking. And maybe I get a little ahead of myself, but I try not to. I just figure...we'll both be in new environments, around new people, going to a new kind of school that's structured in a totally new way, and maybe having somewhere to go that's simpler, and more familiar...maybe that'd be good for us." She explained, Anya nodding along to her words.

"That...would make a lot of things about this coming year less intimidating. I promise I wouldn't stop by empty-handed, or without creating something. I bake a lot. Especially when I'm stressed." Anya started, seeming to think she'd have to do something to earn what Clarke had offered.

When, really, Clarke didn't exactly do incredibly well alone. Just having Anya near would be a huge help, although having someone to bake with would be a nice bonus. The art of pastries had always eluded her, but she was good with cobblers, cakes, pies, and squares. "You wouldn't have to do any of that. I'd be happy enough just to have you around."

"Well, tough. I like to pitch in. If that means you head to study groups with a bag full of baked goods to hand out to your classmates, then you'll just have to deal with it." Anya shot back, eyes narrowing playfully as her lips stretched into a smirk.

As if she'd ever complain about being given tasty treats. "You realize that could single-handedly make me the most popular student in class, in all likelihood."

"Which might net you a few favors along the way, and help you attract good study partners. Make you friends. The works." Anya added airily, voice melodic as she removed Clarke's hand from her cheek and clasped it between both of her own. "I give back, Clarke. I do my part, or as much as I can. That's just who I am."

Clarke let out a sigh and nodded, wondering if she'd regret giving into Anya's stubbornness. "I know, I adore that about you. It's one of your many charms."

Anya let out a sound that seemed like a snort, but she'd never dare call her on it. "I'm sure."

"Come on, it is. Maybe not as charming as your smile, but there's a lot about you that draws me closer..." Clarke noted, holding eye contact in hopes of getting through Anya's thick skull that she was wholeheartedly into her. "...a lot that makes me want to hold your hand...that makes me ache to wrap my arms around you...that has me wasting whole afternoons thinking about what it'd be like to kiss you..."

"Clarke..."

She shook her head. "I'm just really into you, and you're so beautiful, but if you don't like me back, it's fine. I'll be more than happy to be..."

In a flash, Anya was there; hand against her cheek, lips pressing against hers in a rushed, clumsy gesture that had her heartbeat mimicking a stampede as she did everything she could to return her affections and remember each and every sensation. The kiss was sweet, tinged with the hint of lemonade as Clarke tasted her over and over, gently brushing Anya's arm, slowly running a hand over her hair and gradually helping Anya let go of her urgency. She wanted Anya to know she wasn't going anywhere, that they had time, that they could just enjoy the moment.

Thankfully, Anya seemed to hold the same sentiments, slowing her kisses to a languid pace, her touches gentle but deliberate rather than frantic and fleeting. Enough so that when Anya pulled away slightly to catch her breath, Clarke could cradle Anya's head in her hands and meet her gaze, giving Anya all the time she needed to drink in how excited and exuberant she was.

But maybe Clarke needed an extra moment or two to settle her heart at all the emotions Anya was practically glowing from.

"Wow." Anya let out breathlessly, staring at her like she'd just hung the stars in the sky.

It was more than a little overwhelming, but Clarke just swallowed the heart lodged in her throat and beamed back at the girl. "That's an understatement."

"I didn't make a fool out of myself, did I?" Anya asked, apparently taking her words the wrong way, concern quickly marring her features. "Because I don't have much in the way of experience, and you slowed me down, so I wasn't sure if you don't like it fast, or if maybe I was just a mess, or..."

Clarke crossed the final two or three inches and brought their lips together, swallowing Anya's words, letting her kiss linger until she could feel some of Anya's tension wash away. "You were wonderful, please don't second guess yourself. I just wanted to slow things down so we could ease into it and enjoy the moment."

"Well, I did enjoy myself tremendously. Kissing you was divine, Clarke." Anya whispered, Clarke's heart blooming at the sight of Anya smiling bright enough to light up the evening. "But...I'm too curious not to ask again...do you not like a faster pace? Should I avoid that in the future?"

Clarke rested her forehead against Anya's, grinning at how the girl's eyes went slightly crossed to hold her gaze, thrilled over Anya being excited for the future. "It's great when the occasion calls for it. We're at a party with over a hundred people, you're wearing an incredibly pretty dress, and a corset, and a petticoat, and your hair's gorgeous...and you're not some fling to me, you're someone I care about a lot. I'd love to kiss you hard and fast, Anya, but...not here, and not now."

"Are you saying I'm too well dressed to be ravished?" Anya asked with an easy laugh.

"I'm saying that if we'd been dating for a few weeks and I had permission, and we were alone here, and my hands were strong enough...I'd tear your dress and corset off and devour you. I need certain...well, things, if I'm going to toss all my inhibitions aside, and when I do I feel a need to be close, I kind of do what I can to be skin to skin. Doesn't mean, you know, sex, but I just need to be close." Clarke explained in a loose, clumsy ramble that had Anya's eyes twinkling with nearly enough amusement to look past how crimson-hued her cheeks were. "Anyways...what I mean to say is yes, I'm super attracted to you, and how you're dressed doesn't make me want to 'ravish' you less, it's just I'm not brainless, so I can control myself. And maybe tonight...in the garden, under the stars, maybe I felt a slower kiss would be more romantic, too."

Anya's amused stare held as seconds ticked by, and maybe Clarke would be a little unnerved if Anya's thumb wasn't gently stroking at the crook of her neck. Honestly, she wasn't sure if Anya even noticed she was doing it, but it was soothing and just what she needed to calm her heart rate to a reasonable number.

"It's been a very romantic evening, Clarke. I'll certainly give you that." Anya admitted softly, sending her heart soaring at her success. Not only had she gotten to hold Anya, but she'd managed to kiss her and romance her.

The night wasn't even close to done, and she'd achieved nearly all her goals and more.

Still, there was one that she'd only received a non-verbal answer to that she really did need some clarity on. Clarke angled down for a quick kiss before getting up from the bench and walking over to the larger set of flowerbeds. With care not to disrupt the others, Clarke broke off a single daisy and returned to the bench, feeling her nerves escalate with each step no matter how much she called up the memory of their kisses, their words, to calm her heart.

"All I know is that I really like you Anya. Every step I've taken to regain your trust has only had me wanting to take another, to hurry, to get closer to you. I've really enjoyed our mornings together, and I've really enjoyed spending tonight with you, and...well, what I mean to ask is...will you be my girlfriend, Anya?" Clarke held out the flower to the girl who she'd been thoroughly enchanted by, her voice shaking, eyes brimming with tears of hope and fear.

Tears that spilled over as Anya gave a silent nod, taking the daisy and lifting it to her nose for a quick sniff before setting it aside. "I'd love to, Clarke."

Maybe it was a little childish to bounce on her toes in celebration, but she couldn't care, not when she was dating Anya, not when she had her first real girlfriend.

She hadn't noticed for the tears in her eyes, but Anya was suddenly right there, dabbing at her tears and kissing her wet, salty cheeks, and as much as she yearned to kiss her girl, she just desperately needed a hug. Which had her wondering if Anya was a mind reader when she was suddenly pulled into a delightful, cozy embrace, one arm snaking around her waist with the other hand cradling Clarke's head.

As much as she sank into Anya's arms, she was immediately reminded of her girlfriend's words from way back on their drive from the convention. How Anya yearned for contact. How maybe this was Anya feeling she might be able to freely seek it out now. First the kiss, now the hug.

Not that Clarke would want Anya to take all of the initiative.

She quickly wrapped her arms around Anya's waist and lifted her up, spinning her around, soaking in the absolute delight saturating Anya's bubbly laughter.

"Hey, there you two are! Lexa's been looking for you, we're hoping to grab some seats by the fire pit before it gets too crowded. Want to join us?" Costia called out from the garden's entrance, finally bursting the bubble they'd been living in for the past hour or so.

Clarke set Anya down, her girlfriend shooting her a soft smile before pulling away, doing a slow three hundred and sixty degree spin. It was cute, really, and had Clarke blushing.

Anya was writing their surroundings to memory, head soon tilting upwards to hopefully inscribe the sky to her long term storage. Anya wanted to remember.

Maybe a few years down the line, Clarke wouldn't recall what flowers her mother had planted, what amount of cloud coverage there was, the vines encroaching and wrapping around one of the footholds of the bench. No, that was a long shot, because she couldn't stop watching Anya.

Anya could remember the garden for the both of them. She was happy enough taking in the sheer bliss on Anya's face, the glee she exuded with every movement.

Because really, that's what mattered to her. It was the first time she really made Anya happy, and that was a milestone she'd never forget.

And if she was being honest, she had an inkling that their future would be damn bright.

(past this, I have an unfinished final Anya POV scene, when it’s done I’ll probably publish the whole thing, but yeah, like I said, it’s a WIP. Hope you enjoyed!)