#I don't do tags; so feel free to try this if you like 83 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bookshelfdreams · 2 years

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I posted 2,492 times in 2022

That's 419 more posts than 2021!

422 posts created (17%)

2,070 posts reblogged (83%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@swords-n-spindles

@mikimeiko

@bookshelfdreams

@snake-snack-stede

@knowlesian

I tagged 2,449 of my posts in 2022

Only 2% of my posts had no tags

#our flag means death - 1,010 posts

#esc - 340 posts

#message - 101 posts

#crafts - 101 posts

#thoughts - 74 posts

#ofmd reader - 68 posts

#german stuff - 51 posts

#!!!! - 47 posts

#anonymaus - 41 posts

#fic - 31 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#baby. theres spinning wheels for over 1000€ what makes you think you're gonna be met with thousands of ppl starved for things they can buy

My Top Posts in 2022:

random ofmd thought: I love that Stede is so cringe.

He's just. Awkward. Ridiculous. Unapologetically weird at all times and he never gets any cooler. Every episode has at least one Stede moment that causes me physical pain and I love that.

Because usually, if a character is this embarrassing, their arc is about learning to be less so, to be like anyone else, to be more normal, and Stede never does. He learns to be more confident, yes, but he never stops unapologetically being his awkward self, and that's so good to see? He's fine the way he is? He doesn't have to become less himself, he just has to learn how to own it better and that's so healing to see

2,133 notes - Posted May 14, 2022

ofmd reader

aka Holy Shit Everyone In This Fandom Is The Smartest Person On Earth

aka a collection of my favourite meta, feel free to add your own faves!

(note that most of these don't actually have titles, I just tried my best to sum up the contents)

✬ On masculinity in ofmd by @edwardsilkheart

✬ The different genres various characters are in, and how they clash and synthesize by @fuckyeahisawthat (THIS is required reading and the reason this show works so well, all these different & contrasting flavours combined into something truly delicious. If you read nothing else on this list, read this)

✬ yk that Stede didn't actually have an evil plan to leave Ed all along right by @polyamoryprincess (on what really happened in Stede's head that night)

✬ these two posts by @mikimeiko about Ed and the mortifying ordeal of being known

✬ How does Ed like his eggs? by @forpiratereasons (on mirroring, learning how to be yourself and self-acceptance as the path to true love)

✬ Listen, I know everyone and their mother disliked Ed without the beard but I actually loved it. by @ruletogether

✬ Izzy Hands and the tenderness of violence, directed at him but not perpetuated by him by @ellicler with additional tags from @knowlesian

✬ Another one about Izzy, internalized homophobia, and subtextual queerness by @knowlesian

✬ The thing that ACTUALLY made Stede run away by @quillyfied

✬ Ed and the language of face-touching by @amuseoffyre

✬ anachronistinc costume design as a sotrytelling device by @ambassadorquark

✬ The Bathtub Scene (analyzing Ed's body language) by @orangechickenpillow plus this follow-up. I also recommend their post on clothes sharing

✬ beard media by @all-chickens-are-trans

4,851 notes - Posted April 11, 2022

Crocheted Important Blue Internet Checkmark. Because why the fuck not.

(Pattern under the cut)

See the full post

4,982 notes - Posted November 11, 2022

A brief conversation I had with @mikimeiko on their lovely meta about the motive of loss and abandonment made me think about miscommunication some more, and how horrible Calico Jack was to Stede.

When Stede meets Calico Jack for the first time this is what he says to him:

Who's the big gal?

Off to a terrible start, and it only goes downhill from there.

As others have pointed out, this is a very mean thing to say in general and absolutely unacceptable to say to a queer man in particular, and Ed knows that. He's trying to do damage control

See the full post

7,364 notes - Posted April 13, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

oh but I adore how everyone in this stupid pirate show is just a guy

I haven't seen ppl talk about it much but. the absolute lack of shredded abs. people show tummy and cleavage and there's not the barest hint of muscle definition anywhere

obviously some of them are very fit but it never leaves "works a physically demanding job and happens to be naturally thin" territory

and guys are fat! guys have bellies and rounded shoulders and chubby cheeks and imperfect teeth and thinning hair and are styled weirdly (that's a whole different post but the crew especially look so unprofessional styled it's great)

and they are still all hot! they are hot and desirable and find each other hot and desirable and I love that

I love to see it! nobody in this show looks like they had a personal trainer. and not just the side characters, not just a token fat guy - obv Taika Waititi is the most beautiful man you've ever seen and that little bit of tummy pudge spilling out of his crop top made us all lose our collective minds. but it's everyone else too; and it's not the extend of it either. no other show would have let black pete within 10 feet of a romance arc, much less been this sweet and sincere about it

this show is so comfortable with the human body in all it's glorious imperfection and I am in love with it

29,716 notes - Posted April 3, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#omg madda!!hi! hi bestie <3 #year in review #housekeeping #lmao insane year #i knew that ofmd would be the top tag but i didnt think it'd be *this* ridiculous #10x as much gay pirates as - anything else #the only real surprise is the meta post i didnt think it had this many notes #anyway! yoho! i love everyone on this ship y'all are awesome

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mean-gills · 2 years

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I posted 633 times in 2022

That's 633 more posts than 2021!

110 posts created (17%)

523 posts reblogged (83%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@felicityphoenix5

@nervousbreadpuppy

@jinxneedssleep

@ghxstingimgaytoo

@jacklynbraveheart

I tagged 223 of my posts in 2022

#alsmp - 70 posts

#alsmpblr - 59 posts

#alsmp scott - 51 posts

#incorrect quotes - 41 posts

#alsmp sausage - 36 posts

#scott smajor - 20 posts

#alsmp shubble - 20 posts

#alsmp jimmy - 17 posts

#afterlife smp - 14 posts

#esmp - 14 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#my mom seriously helped me get over gender dysphoria for wearing a bra by taking advantage of my gender dysphoria for having large breasts

My Top Posts in 2022:

Incorrect Quotes

Scott evilly laughs: Sausage you must make the choice, allow this innocent by standard die or stop being a hero

Lizzie: Don't worry I can-

Sausage: Oh no whatever shall I do? What an innocent person? How can I stop you without stopping being a hero???

Scott: You can't! Haha!

Scott gets close to sausage: Being a hero never suited you

Lizzie unties the ropes: Don't worry I untied the ropes

Sausage dramatically sighs and backs away from Scott: Oh whatever can I do??

Lizzie: I'm free

Sausage: Must I give up the fight of justice????

Lizzie facepalms: No, I'm free

Sausage: Such an innocent helpless person?!?!

Scott: Truly evil I know, making you choose such a difficult choice

Lizzie: You know what, I'm going leave

Scott finally looks over to Lizzie: Wait, you distracted me so you could free this innocent person!!!

Sausage: I, uh, yes!! That was the plan the entire time!!!

Scott: Curse you Sausage!!!!!!

Lizzie: I was free the entire time basically

Sausage: Another win for Gravity Man!

Lizzie walks away:

Scott: I will get you next time!!!

Scott runs away:

Bonus:

Jimmy walks in: Sorry I was late, anyway I have to untie Lizzie for the "Epic Sidekick Reveal" right?

Sausage stops looking into the distance dramatically: You completely missed the fight!!! You're lucky Scott and I have such great improve skills!!!

134 notes - Posted April 19, 2022

Incorrect quotes

Jimmy: *Uses “Yeet” in a sentence*

Scott: Jimmy, people don’t say yeet anymore.

Jimmy: Yeet is cringe?

Scott: JIMMY, NOBODY SAYS CRINGE ANYMORE.

Jimmy: Cringe has been yeeted?

141 notes - Posted April 24, 2022

Incorrect Quote

Jimmy: Remember when you didn't try to solve all your problems with attempted murder?

Scott: Stop romanticizing the past.

146 notes - Posted April 4, 2022

Incorrect quotes

Scott: Are we fighting or flirting?

Sausage: I'm pinning you against a wall with my hand around your neck-

Scott, smiling: Your point?

171 notes - Posted April 22, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Trans Hunter Headcannon

I love the idea that Hunter is trans, and in light of the most resent episode of the owl house, at the time of posting this "Hollow Mind" I thought I would bend this into a personal view of the headcannon.

So basically Grimwalkers are genderless beings, Belos forces all the grimwalkers to be boys, whether that feels right to them or not. Some might have liked the idea of being a girl rather then a boy, I imagine they'd wear dresses when belos wasn't around secretly ask all the coven heads to call them by there prefered pronouns, some wouldn't feel boy or girl fit them and just ask to only change their pronouns for they/them, some liked being a boy, some would change inbetween, but when belos found out about this he'd always guilt them into stopping because his brother/whatever was a boy and they should be, he probably made up some lie to keep them. Hunter though never really cared for pronouns and was fine with being a boy,and when he found out of what a grimwalker was apart of him wanted to change just to go against belos, but he wasn't happy doing that, so he changed his name to something he liked, Caleb

176 notes - Posted April 28, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #most of these were incorrect quotes i made when i first started

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paluimbel · 2 years

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I posted 117 times in 2022

That's 117 more posts than 2021!

20 posts created (17%)

97 posts reblogged (83%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@sophieinwonderland

@orange-orchard-system

@dhiibvulk

@psychuan

I tagged 35 of my posts in 2022

#plurality - 19 posts

#endo safe - 16 posts

#anti endos dni - 14 posts

#🐠 - 8 posts

#actually plural - 4 posts

#simplyplural - 3 posts

#hermitcraft - 3 posts

#osdd - 2 posts

#🗝 - 2 posts

#fictives - 2 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#it’s not usually that awkward bc he (the introject) has next to no connection to his source and they (the friend) don’t know we’re a system

My Top Posts in 2022:

Is there a term for not technically quite polyfragmented, but close enough that you share some experiences?

11 notes - Posted September 15, 2022

ANTI-ENDOS DNI, feel free to block us if you don't like this post, we've heard all your arguments before and this is more of a personal vent than a syscourse discussion.

Recently I've been questioning whether or not we have osdd-1, and it's really frustrating because I want to be able to go into osdd spaces and ask questions, try to see if our experiences match up. But I can't do so without worry of getting fakeclaimed if we don't match up or getting made fun of for identifying as endogenic in the first place.

I know we're a system (even if some other members are in denial), and most advice i can find without specifically asking questions is geared towards figuring out if you're a system, not figuring out if you're an osdd system, and I'm afraid if we ask questions, we'll get more of the same, with people just telling us either we must have osdd (since low amnesia barriers rules out did) or we must not be a system.

We know there are inclusive osdd systems out there, we just don't know how to find inclusive osdd spaces.

11 notes - Posted July 17, 2022

Plural!Rendog Headcanons

- The whole system, at least initially, collectively goes by Rendog or the Rendog System.

- Ren is the host and Renbob is the second most frequent fronter

- They're median and tend to have very low amnesia barriers

-They didn't know that they were a system when they first joined hermitcraft

-They have ADHD, and so most of them tended to chalk up what emotional amnesia they did experience to that (this part is largely me projecting)

-The Logfather only managed to mind control Ren, not the other system members, which ended up causing both Ren and Renbob a lot of confusion

-The Logfather couldn't take complete control of Ren either, mostly exerting passive influence unless there was some serious Logfellas business that needed to be taken care of

-They figured out they were a system right after the Logfather died and the Logfellas got arrested

-Basically, they're very much used to the sensation of having Someone Else There, so Ren (who was fronting at the time) was very confused by Xisuma talking about how much of relief it was to have the Logfather out of his head

-So he ends up asking X about it and doing some self reflection and Figuring Shit Out

-Well, actually, Renbob shows up in co con and Figures Shit Out

-For a fairly long time after that, X is the only one outside the system who Knows

-More to come as our binge watching of Ren's hermitcraft videos progresses!

(We're posting this in fandom tags because to a certain extent it is a fandom thing, but we recognize that that probably means some people who don't know anything about system stuff are gonna see this.

Hi! This post is about plurality, or the state of being more than one person in one body. It's mostly intended as a by-systems-for-systems sort of thing, but singlets (non-plural people) are also more than welcome to interact as long as you're respectful!

If you have any questions about plurality in general or the terms we use to describe it, our ask box should be open!)

12 notes - Posted June 19, 2022

Considering coming out as a system to some online friends. Does anyone have any tips/advice/ideas on how to go about it?

14 notes - Posted July 14, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Saw this on r/systemscringe. Needless to say this is, at the very least, somewhat horrifying. Make sure to stay safe and be careful joining any new plural discord servers.

449 notes - Posted July 31, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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commander-chaoss · 2 years

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I posted 11,570 times in 2022

That's 10,093 more posts than 2021!

1,825 posts created (16%)

9,745 posts reblogged (84%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@ladygobpire

@celestial-citrus

@bookdragon1811

@authorofemotion

@possible-cryptid

I tagged 6,472 of my posts in 2022

Only 44% of my posts had no tags

#nexus - 179 posts

#sonic - 175 posts

#my writing - 121 posts

#art - 106 posts

#miraculous ladybug - 91 posts

#thanks for the ask! - 84 posts

#eternity - 83 posts

#dracula daily - 73 posts

#arely jones - 71 posts

#dracula - 69 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#if both characters are swordfighting it is reasonable to assume they are both extra enough to risk distraction and carry a conversation too

My Top Posts in 2022:

[record scratch]

Character: I bet you're wondering how I ended up in this situation

Character: Well, so am I

[scene cuts to a shot of an empty writers room, save for a storyboard with several panels of '???' at the beginning. I am standing in front of it holding a marker and shrugging]

[character shrugs as well and scene continues]

235 notes - Posted September 23, 2022

New game type "my beloved" into the tags and see what comes up

315 notes - Posted August 5, 2022

One of the most freeing things you can do as a Christian is start praying over EVERYTHING. And I don't mean "actually remember to pray over the important things that deserve divine attention" or something I mean the stupid stuff

"my videogame controller isn't working properly and it's messing up my game and it's really frustrating me, but I really wanted to play this right now" you have NO idea how often this actually works

"God I can't find my other shoe and I'm in a hurry, please help me find it" BOOM, found.

"I can't sleep because I'm getting myself worked up, give me peace." And it works. Consistently!

Yes we should treat God with reverence, but you misunderstand; he is our father, and our friend. Talk to him. Talk to him about anything and everything. He'll always hear it.

402 notes - Posted September 23, 2022

It's strange how the smaller the gesture of love is, the greater the indication of love.

Sure, I could throw a huge party and take you for a night out and buy all your favorite foods and try and get you the stuffed animal you want at the fair and it could be this big grand gesture that says "I love you" and I'll mean it. but loving you in the midst of a party is easy.

I could choose the restaurant I know you like better on a Wednesday night. Be the first to get up when you ask where the remote is. Cook eggs specially the way you like them without being asked. Make the bed because making beds is hard for you. I could whisper I love you as you fall asleep, when you are too tired to return it, but just so you know. So you know that I love you in the mundane, and when you're not returning anything to me.

The grander gestures of love say "today is special and I want you to feel loved." The smaller gestures say "today isn't special, and I want you to feel loved." It's strange, and backwards, and I believe it is quite by design.

575 notes - Posted November 21, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

823 notes - Posted August 24, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #Lord help us

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itsjustagoober · 2 years

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I posted 30,638 times in 2022

That's 946 more posts than 2021!

86 posts created (0%)

30,552 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@demilypyro

@somechubbynerd

@siyuki1234

@kikimora-apologist

@roseverdict

I tagged 1,001 of my posts in 2022

#signal boost - 506 posts

#important - 487 posts

#super important - 479 posts

#holy shit - 378 posts

#the goober speaks - 206 posts

#over there - 137 posts

#irl stuff - 130 posts

#pretty please? - 83 posts

#not safe for garek - 68 posts

#unreality - 52 posts

Longest Tag: 82 characters

#about that one instagram alternative that i forget the name of because it flopped?

My Top Posts in 2022:

About to go be busy for today and tomorrow, as per usual. Feel free to bug me on @agoobersretreat because I can usually sneak on there, no issue. Send me whatever the hell you want over there and I'll try to reblog some more ask memes or something.

You guys have a wonderful next couple days, yeah? :D

38 notes - Posted May 16, 2022

I am feeling a kind of mood today. Y'all can find me over at @agoobersretreat the rest of today. I am very stressed and I'm gonna alleviate some of it by being my goofy-ass self-insert. Come bug me there or don't, I don't mind either way.

Have a lovely evening, y'all~!

44 notes - Posted May 5, 2022

So’m

For awhile now, some of you may or may not have noticed the glaring lack of activity on some of my other blogs. For those of you that did, I’m doing alright mostly. For those of you that didn’t, no worries. That’s why I’m making this post.

I have some things I’d like to share with you about them, but I don’t know how long this is going to be or how personal it’s about to get. It will be below a read more for good measure.

So, I want to preface this by saying this is no one person’s fault or anything. None of you have done anything for making what’s about to happen...well, happen! You all have been mostly lovely with me always and I could never blame any of you. Any one that I could, I’m pretty sure I blocked them a long time ago already.

ANYWAY, BACK ON POINT.

I’m shuttering some of my blogs for now, somewhere between a hiatus or extremely low activity. There is no easy answer as to why, as it is multiple things compiling on top of each other. The most important part, though? I’m not getting as much back in turn as I am putting into the effort to reach out or look for activity. This is not a sudden feeling either, this has been a long time coming.

I do not discount those who have made the effort to reply or try or RP with me! I love you all so much and I appreciate you all so much! Calling out into the void and not getting a response it usually a good thing in most other cases, but when you go looking for it here and you don’t get much back, why keep calling out?

For those of you that continue to poke me, check in on me, RP/scene with me and do shenanigans? I would like to offer my deepest apologies for this and also my greatest sense of gratitude. You are the ones I am going to miss the most. If you would like to stay in touch, I’ll mostly be on Discord for things and I’ll be happy to give you my username in IMs, if you’d like!

For now? I’m going to go through the blogs here and either change what I need to or just leave them as is. I will put this into full effect over the weekend, so that gives you all some time to see this and do with this information as you see fit.

I don’t know when I’ll be back in full, but I’ll be lurking around quietly. I’ll reach out when I feel the mood or need to, but otherwise you all might mostly have radio silence from me.

Here’s the standings about how this will most likely look:

@agooberscast - Shifts into very low activity mode @agooberscanons- Shifts into full hiatus @agoobersretreat- Will most likely stay the same/move into low activity @theplumpkinpatch- Shifts into full hiatus @softidolproject- Shifts into full hiatus

I think that about does it. Feel free to ask any questions and I’ll do my best to answer them before this goes into effect. I mainly don’t wanna leave anyone confused or misunderstanding me before I go. I love you guys so much, but I gotta do this for myself. I just have to.

TL;DR: My blogs have lost my interest and i need to take a mental break for myself. Love you all and I’ll see you all around as I can.

45 notes - Posted September 21, 2022

Regular kind of day. See y'all over at @agooberscast and @agoobersretreat !

128 notes - Posted September 29, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Unlike the usual not busy day, it is now a busy day! See y'all over at @agooberscast and @agoobersretreat , if you wanna leave me anything to come back to!

153 notes - Posted October 4, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #Phew #That says a lot #Happy year y'all #Here's to the next one

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acrossthewavesoftime · 3 years

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I posted 452 times in 2021

134 posts created (30%)

318 posts reblogged (70%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 2.4 posts.

I added 733 tags in 2021

#18th century - 117 posts

#reblog - 108 posts

#british history - 82 posts

#john graves simcoe - 81 posts

#history - 80 posts

#samuel graves - 77 posts

#american revolution - 55 posts

#naval history - 49 posts

#amrev - 45 posts

#elizabeth posthuma simcoe - 39 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#rats were so elegant in the 18th century... now compare them to their descendants who steal pizza on the new york subway... it's a disgrace

My Top Posts in 2021

So... I decided to re-write Billy Joel's We Didn't Start the Fire, but make it American Revolution-themed, with, as per my predilection for a certain British naval officer, a slight focus on the British side of things.

Turns out trying to find words that make sense and suit the melody is hard, but I'm quite happy I managed to come up with two verses starting with the Boston Tea Party and ending in late 1775:

Tea in harbour, the Port Bill, Earl of Sandwich sending ships North Atlantic, Royal Navy, HMS Preston Admiral Graves isn’t budging, British warships are inactive Privateers, famine fears, blockading Boston

Kemble-Gage-Graves-feud, nepotism all around Clinton and William Howe, the Battle of Bunker Hill Boston Milk Street fight scene, Margaret Gage– spy queen? Henry Mowat, the sloop Canceaux, Falmouth town burning still

I admit that particularly the last line isn't too good as it requires stressing the word "burning" a little awkwardly, but I'm happy with the result nevertheless.

Feel free to add verses of your own! :)

My inspiration was drawn from this painting, which just screams "We [I] didn't start the fire"...

64 notes • Posted 2021-08-07 20:45:37 GMT

I admit, this is a piece of very immature humour, but I simply couldn't resist when I saw @ltwilliammowett's post on prize money (what are you waiting for? Go read it!) which included this image of a naval agent's trade card, c. 1779-83.

The captain on the left proudly exclaims "Let us bang the Don's" to which the sailor replies "I am with you Heart & Hand".

Now, you see, I know that language, and the meaning of individual words may change over time- but it is just too amusing to read more than a little innuendo into the captain's rousing battle cry of "Let us bang the Don's".

...I don't think trouserless fraternising with the enemy was quite the intention either this business card was meant to convey or the Admiralty had in mind for their captains, but who am I to pass up a cheap and easy opportunity for a bawdy joke?

And after all, who are we to say that there was no 'banging the Dons' (one would hope only Spaniards consenting as enthusiastically as the British captain is about 'banging')...?

And that's not the only instance of unintentional naval innuendo that hasn't aged well throughout the centuries; the subject of my main interest, Admiral Samuel Graves, liked to use the adjective hot to describe someone being irate or angry. So far, I haven't found the word used in the same way in any other source from the period, so I suppose it was a personal quirk of his. Have some examples you never asked for: "His Lordship was hot, and wrote in stronger terms than he intended." or "What most embarrasses me, Lord Dunmore, who is very hot, now wishes to withdraw his complaint [...]."

Who knows, maybe Lord Dunmore was "very hot" because nobody had ever taken him to "bang" the Spanish navy, where the "very hot" lord would undoubtedly have had some fun with his "Heart and Hand"? Just a theory. ;-)

67 notes • Posted 2021-12-05 23:00:09 GMT

Ok, folks, hear me out: (country) dance scenes in novels and period dramas, particularly 18th/early 19th century, miss so many opportunities.

80 notes • Posted 2021-09-11 19:30:16 GMT

Transcribing Historical Documents: An Introduction, or: You Can Do It, Too

142 notes • Posted 2021-07-03 12:33:21 GMT

We Didn't Start the Fire, 1773-1783 (American Revolutionary War version)

I don't know why I did this, but here it finally is:

Finally. It is done! The entirety of We Didn't Start the Fire, but with people and places relevant within the context of the American Revolutionary War shoehorned into Billy Joel's catchy melody.

Some words need to be stressed in a particular way to make sense melodically and I'm not quite pleased with it, but hey, it's finished and it's here. And to be honest with you, writing it was immensely fun.

Two of my main historical gripes are that France never "sent a ginger teen"- La Fayette made that decision all by himself, the latter just suited the melody better. And of course, there were far more indigenous peoples than the Mohawk, Shawnee and Seneca involved in and above all, affected by the war. The three mentioned simply fit the rhythm best and although this is, while not entirely a parody, a somewhat fun, playful take on the original lyrics, I wanted to at least mention the fact that Native Americans were involved in and affected by the conflict.

Feel free to propose alternative verses, improve on what's there and, if it helps, I guess go off and sing it in the shower before a history exam.

Every person, group of people, place and event mentioned in the song is in the tags- enjoy!

213 notes • Posted 2021-08-13 19:42:51 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#top posts are unsurprisingly a mix of that billy joel parody and the ONE risqué joke i made #my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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everyhowlmarksthedead · 4 years

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ANGEL REYES x (OBISPO ‘BISHOP’ LOSA DAUGHTER)! READER ⨟ PROMPT

Anon #1 asked: if it’s not a bother to you could you do 83&88 with angel reyes💖

Anon #2 asked: 84&87 with angel reyes

Anon #3 asked: 91&96, nsfw/smutty, angel reyes♥️

Prompts:

83. “Raise your ass”.

88. “Your father is in the other room”.

84. “On your knees”.

87. “Put on my kutte”.

91. “Should be illegal taste so good”.

96. “I’m virgin”.

WARNINGS: NSFW, SMUT

Word Count: 4k

Thanks to my lovely beta reader @cherieann-2001 💖

Author comments: I'm not sorry for this, guys. I hope you all enjoy. Gif isn't mine, credits to the author.

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“YOU WHAT?”

You frown pulling him into the empty clubhouse, as he crew stared at you because of his words. He's laughing loud, feeling him somewhat alleviated after so much tension the last three days.

“What's so funny?”

“Shit, baby… was that what worried you?”

“That I'm virgin? Yeah, of course!”

Angel just hugs you, confusing you because he doesn't seem angry at all.

“God… I was feeling so fucking insecure, saying to myself that I fall in love for first time and she isn’t attracted to me”.

“I am, you idiot”.

“Yeah, but you stopped me every time I tried… you know, going farther”. He says almost chuckling gently kissing your head”. Shit, you broke the barometer of feeding my ego, mi amor. But, it's okay, I'll wait ti—”

“I'm ready, Angel. I just… I didn't know how to tell you”.

He looks at you with both eyebrows raised, surprised and excited in equal parts.

“My father is not gonna be tonight at home, you could… come over”.

“Yeah, I'll definitely come”. He jokes with you with a singsong voice.

“Angel!” You laugh strongly patting his chest.

“What? You asked for it, mi dulce”.

“So… you're okay with that?”

“Of course, yes, baby. You don' know how happy you're making me feel right now”.

After your father is already gone, having warned you to lock all the doors in his ‘overprotective-mood’, you run to your room to get ready. You change your clothes, wearing nothing but a black lace panties and one of Angel's shirts you usually put on when he's out of town. You've been together for a month, even though you only found out about his feelings for you six days ago. One day, you just decided to give him a chance, and you couldn't have been more wrong, thinking he would fuck up by hanging with some chick or getting tired of you.

Having one last look at yourself in the mirror, you go to answer the door bell. Angel is already there, letting his eyes travel around your body, as soon as you open the door.

“Shit, baby… It's the first time I see you wearing one of my shirts”. He babbles totally amazed.

“Does it look good?” You ask then, turning around for him.

“Fu—Fucking good”. He nods swallowing.

“Has your last neuron collapsed?”

“I have zero doubts”. He nods again keeping his parted lips, whilst holding his hand to guide him to your room.

Soft Lights are hanging on the wall. And you don't know why, but it feels like if it was Angels first time too. He was acting so confident that morning, that you can't help but chuckle a little when you find him shaking under your grip, He sat himself on the edge of the king size bed.

“So… If I hurt you at… anytime, just tell me, please”.

“I will, Angel. Relax. I'm virgin, not an atomic bomb about to explode, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah… fuck, I'm sorry”. He says when you're placing a knee next to his body.

“Why the fuck are you apologizing?” You laugh somewhat loud, finally sitting on his lap while he holds you.

“Shit, 'cause I'm fucking nervous!” He frowns softly. “I wanna do'et good. I wanna make you feel good. It's a big responsibility”.

“If you d—”.

“Of course I want”. He sighs, resting his forehead on your chest for a second.

His lips close around your skin, kissing it gently enjoying the scent of vanilla on your skin, the smell so sweet it drives him mad the closer he gets to your neck. His fingers grip your shirt while yours caress his head. A low moan escapes from your mouth when Angel bites you, pulling you a little closer, growling over your collarbone. Then Angel takes off your shirt, trying to calm himself down and go slow to not make you feel uncomfortable. With his eyes on yours, he brings his lips to one of your nipples; sucking and licking them. It gives you some chills when he sighs against it, so pleased that you can't help but swing your hips softly.

“You're a fucking goddess, mami”. He gasps reaching your lips.

His tongue finds yours inside your mouth, caressing it as you begin to feel the erection I his jeans, a delicious friction to your panties that make you moan a little. Without breaking the kiss, Angel takes off his rings to put them inside a pocket, before place his hands on your back.

“It's okay if I s—?”

“Don't ask, Angel, just do'et”. You whimper somewhat desperate.

One of his hands crawls down your right side to your stomach, reaching under your panties. His skin is so cold compared to yours, closing your eyes the moment that he slides a finger among your folds, digging in. You drown a moan on his lips, watching him biting his own with some strength that makes you shake just with that view.

“Fuck, mi dulce… Look at you… So fucking wet fo' me”. His hoarse voice gives you nice chills, licking your lips with the tip of his tongue.

His finger feels so good exploring you, slightly curved, thrusting you softly. Angel drinks every gasp he provokes you, memorizing every gesture of your face. He doesn't want to forget it. Choosing him to lose your virginity with, makes him feel like the most lucky man on earth. He loves you, he wants to please you at all costs, show you every single emotion he feels for you. Without asking, he slides a second one having to cover your mouth with a hand to drown a low moan.

“Don' fuckin' do that or 'am gonna stop”. Reyes slaps it with his free hand making you chuckle as he thrusts into you a little fast. “I'm dying to taste you”.

He sounds desperate, trying not to lose control when he finds your hips bouncing low over his hand.

“Do it”. You almost beg for it, seconds before he is pulling out his fingers to help you to lie on your back.

His calloused hands run over your thighs before sliding your panties off and throwing them aside. Kneeling next to the bed, Angel lifts up your legs to his shoulders, leaving some soft bites on your skin getting closer to your center. Maintaining your look, he explores your entrance with his tongue. Your back arches when he catches your swollen clit between his lips, sucking it so delicately as if it was the best thing he has ever try out.

“Fuck, Angel…” You groan placing your hands on his black messy hair.

He smirks proudly sinking his mouth into your pussy, tucking in two fingers again. He knows exactly what to do, making you squirm under the arm holding your waist to hold you closer. His hand works you out faster than before, as his tongue explores your wet skin from top to bottom making some pressure against it. Angel sighs when he's out of air, biting and sucking your pelvis to leave a beautiful small bruise.

“It should be illegal taste so good”. He mutters, rubbing his scratchy cheeks against your thighs, moving his wrist nailing his fingers inside you. “I wan'ya to cum in ma' mouth, keep makin'me happy, mi dulce”.

You can't even say a word when he devours your pussy again, shaking your breath and your body, going deeper and somewhat fast. You're aroused because of him, that you know you won't take much longer. Angel knows exactly where to touch you to make you scream his name, while the heat runs down your spine flowing out in your abdomen.

“Fuck, Angel!” You cry out feeling how the delicious orgasm wraps your body, while he continues only with his mouth, drinking your juices so delighted. “Oh, fuck, baby…”

Your phone starts to ring with ‘The Imperial March’ over the nightstand, you two growl, stretching a hand to it.

“Please, don' answer”. Your boyfriend begs you, crawling on the mattress.

“El presidente is calling”. You snort showing him the screen. “Hey… dad”.

“Can you open the door? I forgot my keys”.

“I'm in”. Leaving the phone away, Angel rolls on the bed, getting up as you find something to wear that it's not his shirt. Finding some pajamas and putting them on as you walk towards the entrance.

“Were you sleeping?”

“No… Yes… I mean…”

“Looks like you had a nightmare”.

“Yeah… something like that”.

“Do you want me to stay, ah?” He asks putting an arm over your shoulders, leaving a smooth kiss on your sweaty temple. Then, you shake your head. “Okay, go back to bed, but lock the door. And call me if you have another one, I'll be here in less than five minutes, princesa”.

“Vale, papá”. (Okay, dad).

“Te amo, lo sabes, ¿verdad?” (I love you, you know it, right?)

“Yo también te amo”. (I love you too).

“Go back to sleep, c'mon”.

Kissing his cheek hugging him tightly, you leave him leading going back to your room. Angel is behind it about to have a heart attack. Closing the door and locking it, you pull him into you, crashing your lips with his. Taking off your clothes while his big hands paw every inch of your body, you attack his belt undoing it.

“Your father is in the other room”. He mutters when his back finds the wall.

“So, what?” You reply on his lips standing on your tiptoes, losing your shit when you unzip his jeans to free himself.

“Fuck… Go on your knees, mi dulce”. He whispers, biting your mouth, watching you take it as an order.

Rolling his pants and his boxers, after Angel he takes off his boots, heel against heel; you wrap his throbbing cock in your hand jerking him off slowly, Seeing how he tries not to make a single noise. His hands go straight to your hair, getting tangled in it,when your tongue draws some circles over his reddened glans. Angel has his eyes strongly closed, his back slightly curved, urging you to suck his cock. Your mouth receives it totally pleased, pressing your throat and holding it there for a few seconds. You can see Angel opening his lips, eliciting a loud moan. You hear Bishoos steps getting closer to the door, as he knocks he says

“One last thing”.

“Yeah, dad?” You quickly ask.

“Your bike is losing oil, Angel. Fix it tomorrow, I don't want you to have an accident”.

“Su—Sure, prez”.

“Good. And use condoms”.

“DAD!”

“USE IT, I SAID. OR I WILL FUCKING CUT HIM INTO PIECES”.

“Fuck, prez… We're ju—We're just gonna sleep… together”.

“Use it if you want to stay alive, Reyes!”

You can't help but break out in laughs when you're sure your father is already gone. Angel can barely breathe, But before he can complain about your father, you're sucking his dick again deeper. He finally moans as he wanted to do. His hands on your head marks the rhythm, somewhat faster, wetting all his extension with your tongue. He keeps his eyes on you,on your lips, enjoying the way you have to blow him so needy as he was eating you out. And it tastes good. Angel tastes so good.

But he can't handle much longer the desire to fuck you, to make you his. By grabbing your chin with two fingers, he urges you to stand up, devouring in a dirty way your mouth. Your salivas getting mixed with the flavor of your own juices, walking backwards to your bed, to lay down there. He takes off his shirt, throwing it to the floor, breaking the desperate kiss to give you the leather jacket.

“Put on my kutte. I wanna fuck you wearing it, mi princesa Maya”.

Your legs tremble hearing say that. And you do, before he makes some space between your legs, spreading it and ignoring Bishop's warning. Neither of you want to use it for your first time, and you already have a pill for tomorrow just in case. Angel looks at you, totally naked, opened waiting for him. And he's realizing that heaven must looks like that.

“Fuck, you're so fucking beautiful, mi amor”. He whispers amazed, lying on top of you, stroking himself close to your clit. “Tell me if you need to stop, okay?”

You nod starting to be terrified. You know that mostly it hurts a little, and Angel is so big. More than you could imagine. But you know that he's going to be understanding and careful, guiding his glans among your wet folds. He moves his pelvis slowly, growling because of how warm and tight you are, not wanting to lose a single expression on your face.

“Shit… hold a second, Angel”. You beg closing your eyes when his cock finds your limits.

“Okay, okay, baby. It's okay… you want me to pull it out?”

“Please, do—don't move”.

“I will not”.

He tries to comfort you leaving smooth kisses all around your face, caressing your arms with his fingertips. You can't deny that it hurts and itches to some extent, until almost a minute passes by. He moves himself slowly, when your body is less tense, surrounding you with his arms. Now, you can feel it. You can feel the pleasure of his hard cock stretching your tightness, once and again. Slow. So slow that it's driving you insane.

“¿Estás bien, mi dulce?” (You okay?) He whispers with shaky breath on your ear. You just nod. It's impossible for you say a single word. “Fuck, baby… this is the fuckin' paradise”.

He makes you chuckle, pounding you as soon as he knows that you're good with that, hitting your g-stop and making you scream out full of pleasure.

“That's it, baby… Fuck... Do it again”. He begs you, thrusting his pelvis against you somewhat harder. You can't help but moan loudly again.

He's helping you to discover feelings that you never thought you would be able to feel. The mix between tickles, pleasure and chills, making you lose your mind. His thrusts become constant, deeper, faster, as your vocals. He's enjoying more the fact that you're whimpering his name, that the pleasure of your first time gives him narrowing his cock inside you.

“Oh, fuck… Angel, don'—don't stop, please… I fucking beg you!”

“Not until you cum on my dick, princesa”.

His growls against your mouth increasing the heat running through your body, bristling your skin. Leading his lips back to your neck, your boyfriend bites hard, pressing your fingers on his nape to push him closer. You open your legs a little more, but surrounding his waist with one of them intensifying the pleasure. You didn't finish yet, and you already want to do it again.

“Fuck, mami… on all fours. I wanna fuck you from behind”.

And that's sound so much better, until you feel empty whining upset a little, but adopting the position he has ask you.

“Chest down, mami”.

When your weight is over your palms and your knees, he softly presses your nape to the bed.

“Raise your ass and spread those fucking beautiful legs fo' me”.

You do it, without complaining, anxious for feeling him inside. A strong slap right to your ass makes you squirm surprised, crying out because of it. But before you can say anything, his cock is pushing into your body again to the limit, drilling your pussy with repetitive moves. You're sure that your neighbors are going to hear you scream his full name, agsin and again. His fingers rabbbng on your hips and his pelvis colliding against your folds creating a delicious wet melody that floods your room, intermingling with your noises.

“You like it, mi dulce?”

“Yes… Yes… Fuck, Angel, you're so… so fucking big”.

Reyes tangles a hand in your hair, pulling you up until his chest finds your back covered by the kutte.

“This big cock is only yours, mi princesa”. He grunts into your ear, biting your lobe.

The position changes a little with your body stuck against his. His left hand travels to your throat holding it, while the other goes down to your pleased pussy being thrust into with all his strength, rubbing your clit with his forefinger. When you thought he couldn't give you more pleasure, he just does this other thing. Fuck you. Finger you. Bite you. All in one, and you can't fight your feelings much more.

“Angel… Angel…”

“Fuckin' cum, mi vida… make me happy”. He begs looking for your lips, twisting your neck a little.

“I wanna do'et rid—riding your cock… please. Shit, please, Angel”.

You're going to kill him, asking him those things. He's falling in love with you somewhat more every time you open your mouth. He pulls out himself, knowing that he's close to cumming, lying on the bed to let you sit on his lap. He doesn't miss a single detail, nor a single gesture, nor a single move, biting his lower lip and watching how you lead his cock back to your pussy.

Your hips bounce on him, dancing above his pelvis, going a little bit deeper. You could say that coming to an orgasm is similar with using your fingers, but you would be lying. It hits you harder, warmer, closing your fingers on his chest and going faster when you feel the explosion inside your belly, arching your back. A howl full of pleasure in your throat, with your boyfriend's name on it.

“Shit, baby…” You're almost crying, leaping on top of him.

“Don't stop, mi dulce… I'm gon—gonna fuckin' cum…”

You're not. You want to feel him, speeding up your moves. By his heavy breathing you know pretty well he is on the edge, bending over his chest looking for his tongue. Kissing him, your hands lead his straight to your ass, slapping it again before squeezing it and helping you to go deeper on your pussy.

“Fuck, daddy… cum inside me…”

“Shit, how di—did you c…”

“Daddy… My daddy”. You gasps somewhat exhausted while he pushes you with non-stop.

“Beg for it, mi dulce… Beg for your daddy's cum”.

Rolling over the mattress, putting your back on it, Angel thrust his cock faster with a hand wrapping your throat tightly.

“Oh, fuck…” You sob with your legs trembling a little more than before. “Fuck, daddy… Daddy, please… Cum inside me, I deserve it, please…”

“Yeah, babygirl… Daddy is gonna… make you feel full. Only your daddy Angel, you hear me…?”.

“Only you, daddy, but… fuck… please cum inside me”.

You catch his lips between yours, kissing him dirtly exploring his whole mouth with your tongue. Your boyfriend is out of air, moaning into your mouth when he feels the lash of heat hitting his lower abdomen, filling you with his seed and feeling how it spills down your thighs when he pounds you again, pressing his body against yours as much as he can. He holds it inside you, looking at your eyes burning in lust. Every time he bites his lip, your heart jumps, doing it as he pushes you a little more moving your body above the mattress some inches.

“Angel! Fuck!” You cry out, making him chuckles between some gasps.

“Fuck, mi dulce… You feel so good… so warm… so tight. Your pussy is suffocating me… so fucking much… shit, it feels so good, I swear to god”. He mutters exhausted, touching your lips with his.

“Hold it just a little more, please…”

“All the time you want, mi amor… This cock is only yours… Only for you”.

Crossing the clubhouse' main door sounds easy, but it's not. Your holding hands with Angel, carrying the helmet in the other. He looks at you for a second, leaning towards you to press his lips with yours. You know everything is going to be okay, even so you can't help but feeling a little terrified.

“What's'ap, bro?”

The guys receive you and, by the emotion on their faces, you realize that Angel probably told him. Finding your father stepping out from the Templo, followed by Taza and Tranq, you try to look calm.

“Buenos días, princesa”. He says practically ripping you out of Angel's arms, to hug you closer.

“Buenos días, papá”. You mutter a little nervous.

“Yo, Bish… op… Bishop. My bike. Is okay”.

“Yeah, it is”. He just say, holding you against his chest.

“How did you kn—”.

“I know every fucking smell of my daughter, pendejo. I ‘made’ her, remember? I've been taking care of her since she was fucking born”. Your father is pointing at him with his forefinger, again, showing his overprotective and jealous mood. “And you use that… fucking cologne that has a strong smell”.

“Dad, please… stop”.

“Listen to me, princesa. Si este pendejo te hace llorar, lo ataré al techo y le arrancaré la piel pedazo a pedazo. Después, se la haré comer”. (If this asshole makes you cry, I'll handle him from the rooftop to rip off his skin, piece by piece. Then, I'll make him eat it).

The whole group could have heard Angel swallow. But then it seems like heis reborn like a phoenix. Grabbing you from your father's arms and placing a hand on your waist.

“Look, Bishop. I'm not gonna fuck this up and I don' give a shit if you like or not. I love (Y/N), and I'm gonna take care of her”. You're freaking out, along with the crew. And God, he's so hot in that mood. “So, no matter how hard you try, she's my princ—”.

“Finish the sentence, and I'm gonna bury you alive, motherfucker”.

Taza is making a sign to end the conversation behind your father. Not this road, Angel Reyes. Don't ride this road. Obispo is lower than him, but he has his balls so fucking high.

“Mi hija, mi princesa. Don't you dare to cross the limit, Angel”. Your father is facing him, with his chin raised up. “I don't give a fuck what you do with her, when I'm not close. Unless you hurt her. But I'm here, and you're gonna fucking respect my rules”.

“Okay, dad, eno—”.

“Shut the fuck up, no one is talking with you, querida”.

Frowning, you know it's your time to set off the fire. Grabbing your father's kutte, you pull him outside of the clubhouse, while he continues threatening Angel in the distance. You lead him to the warehouse, closing the door behind you.

“I'll fucking bury him, if he tries to call you again ‘princesa’ in my presence!” He shouts at you.

Here he is. Your jealous father. The most jealous man on earth.

“Ok, dad, we all get it”.

“Don' fucking joke with me! You don' know how painful this is”.

“What the fuck, dad…?”

“Seeing you spending more time with him than with me. I understand it, you're growing and all that shit. But one day you will say ‘goodbye, I'm moving’ and I'll see you one or two hours every… I don' know how much days”.

“Okay, dad… calm down”.

You notice that your father is having a panic attack. Quickly, you help him to sit on a metallic box, kneeling close to him and taking off the kutte to undone some buttons of his shirt.

“Dad, breathe, okay? Breathe…”

He tries while you hold his hands, leaving some kisses on the back of them, until he starts to do better.

“You will always be mi rey, the one and only love of my life… okay?” He just nods with his gaze away from you. “There's no man , and no woman I could love more than I love you, you hear me? And I will not… limit myself visiting you just one hour every day, in the case I move on. And if I do… it will be in a lot of time”.

He doesn't say anything, sitting you on his lap and resting his face on your chest, closing his eyes, trying to keep calm.

“I hope you fucking used a condom”.

“Did you?”

“... I don' think so”.

“See, dad? Family business”.

“I'm gonna fucki—”

“Papá, te amo”.

“Bu—”.

“Shut up. Don' fuckin' ruin the moment”.

#mayans mc x reader #mayans mc #mayans mc imagine #mayans x reader #yes angel you're fucking blessed #angel reyes fanfiction #angel reyes imagine #angel reyes #angel reyes x reader

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xxisxxisxxis · 4 years

Text

Gateway Drug | Part Ninety-One [PT. 1]

A/N: Part 2 coming tomorrow.

Words:3k

Warning(s): explicit language, mentions of drug abuse, mentions of miscarriage, sexual situations

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NIKKI

I stare down at the small, black and white pictures of seemingly nothing except a tiny, tiny little blob, except for one picture which is marked with “4 months” on the back, February 14th, 1986, in white marker in Vivs’s handwriting, one picture out of seven, each with dates…she doesn’t say a word to me, and she didn’t before she handed them over. She just chunked them in my lap and went from there.

I don’t know what to ask, because I don’t know what to say.

“Are these…?” I finally get out, looking at her.

She’s got tears in her eyes, and it slowly starts sinking in.

These are fucking kids--well, tiny little embryo kids, or whatever.

“These are your’s?” I ask next and she nods.

When the hell was she ever fucking pregnant?

I check the dates again…

1983.

1984.

1985.

1986.

1986...the back of it says “twins.”

“Where was I when all of this was happening?” I ask her, and she licks her lips and breathes out.

“I don’t know, Nikki, where were you?” She replies lowly.

I look at her for a moment, trying to decide if she’s serious or not.

Then she digs in her purse and pulls out a paper, unfolding it before going through the list of dates assigned to each ultrasound image, reciting to me--in my own words from diaries--my whereabouts around the time she lost each one.

I take it that she’s already skimmed through a diary or two already.

I get angrier and angrier with each line, shaking by the time she starts on, “1986--you were unconscious while me and Andy McCoy were trying to resuscit--”

I throw the pictures and they all split from each other and scatter around her, cutting her short.

“None of this is my fault, Vivian!” I scream at her, my heart feeling as though it’s rotting behind my ribs. “I didn’t fucking know!”

“How could you fucking know when you were so damn hig--”

“You came home in ‘83, from that appointment and told me it was a false-positive test and you had just gained a little weight. I wasn’t on smack in July of 1983. In fact, I went a little while on just Tylenol and beer while I was tampering off my heavy meds the doctor prescribed for my shoulder. So you could have fucking told me then what the fuck was happening, instead of shutting down and shutting me out for three goddamn months!” I’m crying without realizing it until hot tears prick down my cheeks, my skin uncomfortable as my nerves singe from my boiling blood. “I loved you, I had just married you for Christ sake--I was happy and excited to be at that point with you and you fucking left me for three months! You’d barely let me touch you, you wouldn’t come out of our room, you wouldn’t wanna go out, I’d sleep on the fucking couch or crash at Robbins or Tommy’s because you’d tell me you just wanted to be alone, and all along I thought it was my fault because I went to that fucking party with Tommy instead of staying with you the night of our wedding and you were just making me pay...and then when you were put on medication I thought it was my fault, too, because I thought you’d figured out I was tampering with smack, and I just…” I’m up and pacing, hands in my hair…

Amber doesn’t say a word.

I think Viv broke her, too, because she looks like she’s trying to find the right thing to say.

Maybe she’s hoping we can talk this one out on our own.

But I don’t want to talk anything out.

Not right now.

“I didn’t tell you about them because I was scared you would cope with the pain the same way you’d coped with pain for years. I was afraid you’d drink and drug yourself and leave me to deal with it by myself, and I didn’t want to put that on you, so I just dealt with it myself.” Vivian admits, her voice cracking.

“Vivian, you haven’t dealt with it, though.” Amber quietly interjects, softly. “You haven’t dealt with it. You haven’t allowed yourself to heal.”

“When were you going to tell me about this?” I shakily ask, trying to swallow down the lump in my throat.

“When you died.” She says next, honestly, her tone a dead giveaway that it’s not something she’s proud of, but it’s the truth. “I was just gonna bury the pictures with you, just in case you had random kids coming up to you in the next life, you’d know who they were, I guess.”

I feel sick to my stomach at the confession, my whole body repulsed with the fact that she’s managed to hide this the past four years.

“Nikki, if you need to take a break, we can,” Amber assures me.

I’m getting the fuck out of there as fast as I can, just desperate to get some air that Vivian isn’t breathing her demoness presence into, and the second I get free, I'm puking my guts up in the hallway.

I know I had a reason to be angry with her, she hid that from me, like I'd hid so much from her. She thought she was protecting me, though, and I just didn't want her to leave me because I was a pussy and a piece of shit--and I knew it.

I was more pissed at myself, though, because I knew I'd put her in the position to feel like she couldn't come to me and tell me she was pregnant, let alone had lost it, even before I was on smack.

She knew how I handled shit--either drink, do whatever drug was accessible, or both.

When heroin and crack entered the picture, that just cemented her will not to tell me about it.

I think the biggest elephant in the room, though, despite her being pregnant with Duff's baby at that point, and me and my thing with Vanity and all the other women, and her hidden pregnancies, was the fact she never wanted to get married to me that fast, and I knew it.

I knew it the day we got married that she didn't really want to, she was just trying to make me happy, and I fucking let her do it because I was so terrified that I was going to lose her if I didn't go as far as I could to secure her to me.

The amount of unnecessary bullshit she could've bypassed had I just taken a step back and told her we didn't have to get married if she didn't want to...I often times think it would've saved her a lot of heartbreak. We could've broken up when shit hit the fan with smack in '84, I still would've lived through my bad OD in '87, probably, and we could've gotten back together when I cleaned my shit up--that is if she would've waited for me...and that's why I didn't let up. Because "if she waited" wasn't good enough. I didn't want "if."

I wanted her.

So I married her, knowing she didn't want to, and instead of proving her wrong and giving her a relationship to question why she ever second guessed vowing an eternity together with me, I put her through hell, treated her like shit, abused her, endured her abuse, wasted each other's time, hurt each other, ruined each other more and more than what we were when we got into the relationship.

And that was my first indiscretion against her.

Marrying her knowing she wasn't ready.

By the time I finish puking, I'm leaning against the wall, taking deep breaths, hearing Vivian crying, still in Amber's office.

I squeeze my eyes closed, my palms roughly wipe my stray tears.

Despite being sober, the little fuck that is Sikki is trying to claw out of the box I've put him in for over a month, now.

Just the faintest, "leave her," echoes in my mind.

"Fuck you." I audibly tell him.

"She never wanted to be with you in the first place. Why do you think her body refused to carry your fucking kids? Because she hates you so much that it'd be an abomination to have your little hell rats."

"Fuck off." I argue, again.

"And just think about it. The timing of this one she's got now...she was getting her brains screwed backwards right next door to you while you were keeling over. It was like she knew what was about to happen and she was celebrating the fact she wouldn't have to fucking deal with your shit ever again." He taunts, getting more and more of his scraggly hand out of the box, the lid cracking open to reveal his white, sallow skin and dark eyes.

"Fuck off." I gritt out once more.

"What's wrong? You don't think she'd do that? After all the times you've admitted she's an evil bitch from the pit fires of hell? Because I think she'd do it. In fact, I bet she'd stare your overdosing carcass in the eyes, screaming out his name in ecstasy, while dripping cum at the mere fact you were dying."

I slam the lid of the box back down, crushing his boney, track riddled fingers, making him curse me.

I refuse to listen to his bullshit anymore.

Vivian loves me. She wants to be with me. She'd be gone by now if she didn't, and I wouldn't blame her.

1 9 8 1

"Ummm…" I trail off, watching her closely, lickikg my lips, my hand grabbing at the curve of her hip over the comforter she's got pulled up to her chest, her head in the crook of my elbow, looking up at me, awaiting my answer. "...I don't know." I say, honestly.

"As theological as you are and you can't tell me whether or not you think Aliens are real?" She asks and I roll my eyes.

"I don't know, miss honor roll, you tell me." I counter and she grins.

"I think the universe is too big for it to just be us." She informs me.

"Ah, says the one who also believes a heaven and a God exists within the same wide range of universe." I reply and she hits my bare chest with the back of her hand, gently.

"Shut up." She says, shaking her head a little. "Is it not reasonable to think there's more than just us?"

I think about it for a moment.

"I wouldn't be surprised if aliens are real, I wouldn't be surprised if they weren't." I admit, rubbing my eye for a second.

"What about God?" She asks next and I try not to laugh in her face.

"I'm almost one hundred percent sure that God doesn't exist." I state.

"How do you know?" She says, blinking emerald greens at me, as if what I'm about to say about her imaginary friend she's been brainwashed into believing in, is going to make or break her.

"I'm not sure, baby, I just think...fine, tell you what, I wouldn't be surprised if God were real, and I wouldn't be surprised if he weren't real." I give her the benefit of the doubt.

"I'd be surprised if he weren't." She tells me.

"Yeah? Well, how do you know he is real?" I question her, next, a teasing smile on my lips.

"I don't know, you can't see him or hear his voice audibly, but you can feel him." She explains the best she can and I raise my brows.

"You can feel God?"

"Well, yeah." She replies, her finger tracing along the few bits of chest hair I've got and I lick my lips for a second before leaning down, kissing her.

"What about now?" I ask, grinning as my hand pushes away at the covers over her to run against the smooth skin of her thigh and she smiles just a little before pressing her lips to mine, one of her hands threading in my hair with her other arm snakes around me, pulling me on top of her and I chuckle lowly, nestling between her legs while we get hot and heavy with our tongues and teeth.

Both of us let out satisfied breaths when I slide into her, her eyes fluttering closed, brows furrowed slightly, head leaning back as her nails bite into my arms.

I pat myself on the back and trail hot, wet, sloppy kisses along her clavicle before pulling out of her again, a little shudder going up my back from the tight, soaking heat between her legs.

When I start building a slow but hard rhythm, her legs are locking at the base of my spine, her arms hugging at my back, pulling me to her as, "Nikki," slips from her lips.

"What about now?" I ask in her ear as I force myself as deep into her as her body will let me, and she whimpers out, "yes."

A sadistic little pat to my ego causes a pull at my lips, my hand wrapping around her throat as I stare down at her, her nails clawing down my back, tears in her eyes as I thrust back into her…

I kiss at her lips, her cheek, her jaw, moving my hand from her throat to kiss her neck and I swear I hear the faintest, barely inaudible whisper of, "I love you," but decide I'm just hearing things...

Present

I squeeze my eyes shut, the smell of my puke wafting in my face, making me take several steps back to catch my breath.

It's hard to swallow the fact that I really let myself be convinced for so long that I'd let her fuck my life up, to the extent of blaming her for my life actually being fucked up.

"Fuck." I curse at myself, raking my hands down my face.

How the fuck am I going to make this right with her?

How the fuck is she going to make this right with me?

She's pregnant, with Duff's kid or whatever, and then BAM! just drops this shit on me that she's actually been pregnant multiple times from me and never mentioned losing any of them to me.

I know it's my fault that she didn't tell me. I know it is. Am I going to admit that to her? Fuck no. Am I hurt over her not telling me anyway? Yeah, I am.

If I wasn't in sobriety penitentiary, I'd probably be out and about trying to find something to numb and distract me…

I don't know what to do.

But I do know one thing for sure: I'm not in love with her anymore, but I love her, and I'm pretty sure she feels the same exact way about me...but it's not like we can't get back to that place we were in when we first got together, it's just gonna take some work...a lot of work.

I huff out a breath, taking a moment to get my shit together, mentally.

Do I go back in there and finish out today or just try again next week?

I think on it for a minute…

"Fuck it." I say out, shakily, weakly, tears break past my lash line once again,

a far cry from that tough motherfucker I swore I was for years. "Just fuck it."

Fuck this.

Fuck her.

And fuck me.

#gateway drug #nikki sixx #nikki sixx x oc #nikki sixx fanfiction #👀

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adventuresindolls · 3 years

Text

I posted 2,091 times in 2021

183 posts created (9%)

1908 posts reblogged (91%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 10.4 posts.

I added 482 tags in 2021

#my dolls - 100 posts

#american girl dolls - 97 posts

#our generation - 62 posts

#not my dolls - 56 posts

#lexie - 43 posts

#daisies and daffodolls - 38 posts

#summer - 25 posts

#olive - 23 posts

#ag dolls - 20 posts

#my life as doll - 18 posts

Longest Tag: 95 characters

#her family is from russia which is not where the newer branches were taking off during her time

My Top Posts in 2021

Doll Needs a Loving Home!

(AKA officially selling Rowena with better pics post)

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51 notes • Posted 2021-10-27 14:01:45 GMT

Anne is here!! Thank you so so much again to @desertdollranch!! She has bloomers, socks, boots, 3 dresses, and even accessories! I love all my dolls but I have to admit she has perhaps the sweetest face I've ever seen, even prettier in person than in pictures. And I'm slightly terrified to mess up her braids because I'm not convinced I could do them again.

She's got her meet outfit and carpet bag, waiting for Matthew at the train station (look at how her hair shines in the sun!).

A nice school dress with an apron and the infamous chalkboard.

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62 notes • Posted 2021-09-07 23:17:50 GMT

When I was 12 I was Samantha for Halloween and I don't know how good a job I did with stuff I already owned or got from the thrift store, but this seemed like a good thing to share here.

(I couldn't find a good picture of her from the books in that dress so I just used a doll)

70 notes • Posted 2021-02-03 17:12:59 GMT

May Photo Challenge!!

Our next photo challenge, #Daisies and Daffodolls, will begin on May 1st! It’s a creative, for fun, non-competitive daily challenge for you to share pictures of your doll(s). There will be a new prompt each day, listed below to give you a month to prepare, and you can participate in as many or as few days as you’re interested in. There is no judgement whatsoever, so please share regardless of how complex your props are, and don’t worry about posting a prompt late.

First of all, thank you so much to @desertdollranch for helping with the prompts, especially those surrounding AG birthdays and holidays, and for getting this whole photo challenge thing started back in September! And a huge thank you to @lesbianelizabethcole for designing all 5 banners!

The ground rules are the same as in October and December, but I’ll reiterate them for anyone that might be new. Tag all of your prompt posts with #daisies and daffodolls - all three words, complete with spaces. This will allow us to better find and share each other’s posts. You can organize your own posts however you want, but I recommend including the day’s prompt somewhere for context. Also feel free to post on other social medias if you want.

This is not a competition, and there are no prizes, but it should be a lot of fun. Feel free to use any size and brand of doll that you have! American Girl is very popular on doll tumblr, but all other types are welcome as well, including both established (historical or modern) characters and OCs. This could range from 18-inch dolls to Barbies to handmade dolls or porcelain dolls or even paper dolls.

I’ll reblog this post weekly until the beginning of May, and then begin each week of May with the prompt list for that week. Please find a list of all prompts below the cut.

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83 notes • Posted 2021-04-01 16:02:08 GMT

It's that season again--time for another doll photo challenge! (Actually we've done these in all seasons, but this one IS special--October will mark a whole year since our first one!)

This time we're trying something a little different, since I'm in the middle of grad school and everyone seems really busy this year. There will be one prompt a week for 15 weeks, across just over 3 months. This gives everyone a little more time to work on each prompt, and thus I have left some of them a little more vague. But still feel free to do one early or late if you need to and interpret them any way you like!

Standard rules apply: Please use the hashtag #Dolly Good Season, just like that with the spaces. Feel free to post your photos on other social media, too. Most of us have 18-inch dolls, but please participate with dolls of any size and brand. No being mean or harassing others, and it's nice (although obviously not a rule) to reblog and/or leave nice comments on others' pictures. I'll reblog this post several times before it starts and the monthly lists at the beginning of each month.

A huge huge thank you as always to @lesbianelizabethcole for making the beautiful banners, and also to @dolls-and-cats for helping with prompt ideas.

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92 notes • Posted 2021-09-03 03:39:09 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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