#I don't read it anymore but they were huge back in the early 2000s but i hardly see any around anymore haha

[spokelseskladden]

When i was like 12 i used to read those self insert fics where fans gets transported into the world they're a fan of, like either through the isekai method, or like a portal or astral projection idk. Anyway, i started reading Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint and it scratched that itch 12 year old me created, like hell yeah normal regular guy, get some cool powers and hang out with the characters you love, go off king. Also look out for the horrors

[medievildead]

This is gonna be long and none of you have to read this. I just need to vomit out a happy rant about God of War.

Like I don't know how to describe my joy and I know I keep saying it I know I do but like. Having been a fan of this series since the very first release in the 2000s, loving the story and the depth of Kratos and seeing just how vast and big and huge the fanbase is now. The fanworks people make have made my heart so happy. These games always meant so much to me as a greek mythology kid and its up there with one of the first series me and my dad ever played together (he made me step out of the room during Those Scenes, don't worry)

I remember my dad and I first seeing the demo for the first ever God of War on a ps2 demo disc we got from back when GameStop was still EB Games in Canada. We both thought it was so cool. I watched him play the demo over and over again, until one day he could finally get the full game and we were even more hooked. We beat the game so many times together and watched the bonus content until the disc wouldn't work anymore. We tried our hand at every difficulty just to unlock every costume.

I remember when God of War II came out he was one of the first in line to get it that weekend. He even got the BradyGames player guide, which me and my brother read over and over and over again looking through the pages, all the lore hints and bonus content, all the characters and concept art until the pages ripped out. I still have the poster from that guidebook hanging in my bedroom. I still know where all the secrets are in that game like the back of my hand. When the game was beat and the final cutscene played my gad and I would always day how exited we were for the next installment.

I remember the day my dad got our PSP. He got the God of War bundle, the special red edition with the decal of Kratos on the back, the one that came with Chains of Olympus. I remember waking up early on the weekends to sit with him on the couch and watch him play. And if I ever missed anything because the screen was too small he would describe it to me happily. And when Ghost of Sparta came out I got to experience it all over again.

I remember when we first started seeing trailers for GoW iii and I got so exited. I remember my dad and I playing the demo with the chimera battle and being so, so so happy, saying we couldn't wait for the game to come out. I remember my dad refraining from buying the game on his own, waiting to stop somewhere on the way home from school just to buy it with me. And at this point I was finally old enough to figure out a game controller on my own, without my dad helping me at all, and the thrill of playing as Kratos on my own was a titular moment of me realizing I was growing up. Like not to be emo but playing God of War on my own during my adolescent years hit me more than puberty.

I can go on forever. I remember the day Ascension came out, and booking it to EB Games just to try out all the new features. I remember when I saw the novels for sale at a shop in the city, and not wasting another breath telling my dad I wanted them, and reading them more than I read my books for school reports. I remember almost crying because I didn't own a smartphone and couldn't play God of War: Betrayal and being so relieved to see footage was uploaded online and I was able to experience it that way. The only reason I knew what Soul Calibur even was is because Kratos was playable in Broken Destiny for the PSP. He was my main by the way

TL;DR this series was my childhood. It means so much to me. Every time my dad played he would select easy mode so he could read out the story to me. I hyperfixated on the story. And already being a mythos obsessed kid, GoW encouraged me to research mythos even further. And I was so happy when I would replay the games after learning more and more to understand reference after reference after reference. Teaching myself new glitches and exploits and finding new secrets in hidden areas after every playthrough. Rebuying the games every single time they were ported to a new system or I lost the disc. I own like 3 or 4 copies of each game at this point because I never want to not have them. It was like a new experience every time.

However. The games were always popular yeah. Highly rated. Fun to play. Kratos was a Playstation Icon. but large playerbase meant nothing in the long run for me.

I frequented gaming forums and Facebook in the early days and it was easy to tell most everybody playing these games hardly gave two shits about the story. There was nobody who really wanted to talk about lore. Nobody who really wanted to go in depth about characters. Nobody who really wanted to share ideas beyond the main focus. I remember going on deviantart and seeing people post fanwork on the occasion whenever a new game was released, but then never again. Silence. Interest lost as quickly as it came. Honestly I noticed even when the leaks for the Norse saga were published, the majority of people turned to look, were interested, started talking, but then looked away elsewhere when it wasn't the flavour of the month anymore.

I remember running God of War blogs back in 2012 to 2015 and nothing. Maybe three people interacted. Maybe three people bothered. But there were little to no fans. An audience yes but, fans? Fanartists? Writers? Headcanons? Any kind of fanmade media at all besides a few one off images online? I'd be lucky if I saw a shitpost that mentioned Kratos.

I remember writing fanfiction and posting fanart when I was twelve. I remember having action figures of Kratos decorating my shelf and playing with them till they broke and crying bc I was so upset. I loved enjoying these games. I was having so much fun on my own. I came to terms with an audience of none. Accepting that, despite the popularity of the series, to make fancontent for it, to entertain myself with the deeper lore of it was nothing but a niche.

Even with the release of 2018, as happy as I was for the new hopeful wave of fans, I was always a little upset when I saw people who played that installment as their introduction to God of War, go on to say they had no interest in giving the previous games a whirl because of the difference in gameplay and story.

At the end of it all it was still a niche.

So just... here we are today.

Here we are today and I can go into the God of War tag and be hit with a wave of the most gorgeous shit I've ever seen. Here we are today and I wake up to the most incredible drawings and paintings of the characters I grew up with in the most creative scenarios. The fanfictions that span chapters and rip deep into Kratos and his story. The headcanons that take inspiration from the most obscure lore bits from the series. The OCs that are inspired by this series' specific interpretation of mythology.

I can't put it into words. With the release of the Norse saga it's been... amazing. I just genuinley can't describe my joy. When I was playing the games themselves and the older games, the games I've been hyperfixated on my whole life were mentioned, that was one thing. But seeing other people comment on it. Discuss it. Be invested. Enjoy it enough to be inspired. Its like... So amazing.

I don't know what it is. Maybe its because of how the new games were more story driven than the previous installments. Maybe its because of the protrayal of the characters. Maybe its because of the popularity of norse mythology. I don't know and honestly I do not fucking care what the reason is. All I know is that I'm seeing people fall in love with something that means this much to me. Thank you Santa Monica for not forgetting about the story and games that made Kratos.

Seeing people who finished Ragnarok saying they were finally going to start playing the previous games. Or watching gameplay. Or reading up on the lore. Making fanart of the Greek saga. Fanfiction of it. Talking about it. Talking about the story. The deep, heartbreaking but important story that the games have always been telling and was always there that I have been invested in since childhood. I see fanart of Kratos and Calliope together, of Orkos, of Deimos, AUs and headcanons about them, and I want to cry happy tears.

I know you guys aren't making this content for me specifically. But I still have to say thank you. Thank you for making my heart happy. Thank you for reminding me of my most beloved memories every day with the stuff you make. You make my soul happy. Thank you for making stuff I can love and cherish and share with other fans, OTHER FANS, that I can talk to and listen to and discuss lore and art and ideas with about something so beloved to me and now beloved to others. I see people posting about it in depth and I am so happy to talk to or just hear people talk.

To ALL the fanartists, writers, and just fans in general who actually enjoy my or anyone else's GoW content, all of you on behalf of every long time God of War fan thank you so much for being a part of this community.

The feeling of knowing a series of media that's been so obsessively near and dear to me my entire life is becoming dear to others is indescribable. I know I'm being so emo about this but fr like... having people I can just. Talk to about GoW lore and nodding and agreeing and. Ahhhh.

I'll stop rambling now because I could go on forever but just like. Thank yall for being here. The stuff you guys make and share means more than you think.

Thank ya 💕💕🙏

[deputy-buck]

Childhood headcanons: Tim Gutterson, 1, 28, 30? -🕖

Thank you 🕖! (Clock? Seven? 07:00?)

CW: Non-Detailed description of childhood sexual assault and unresolved trauma in question&answer #1. If you're uncomfortable with these themes, skip to question&answer #28, thank you.

1.A strange thing that happened in their childhood that they will just drop casually in a conversation like it was nothing

Bein in the Army all through the 2000s was great, a group of people who think sexual assault jokes are top-tier humor? A paradise for someone who was touched as a child, copes with humor, and never got the psychiatric help he needed. He made worse jokes than anyone, was never descriptive of what happened to him but they were awful enough to have some of his buddies askin if he was okay. It's not that he drops it in conversations with strangers, that probably would have gotten him severely physically hurt as a young man.

Now he just never talks about it because he doesn't care anymore, it's not a funny topic that he can laugh about because nobody Outside thinks it's funny like his Ranger buddies did. He still hasn't brought it up with a therapist, but he feels like it's too far back to even be worth the money. He's doin okay! It doesn't rule his life, and honestly? He rarely thinks about it. He's thankful for the understandin it gave him, he guesses, if he had to take a positive thing away from those years of discomfort and confusion.

(If you don't like the headcanon, that's fine, but I don't need to hear about it. I'm allowed to work through my own trauma in my own way.)

28. Were they innocent or were they exposed to a lot of not-innocent stuff at an early age?

Grownin up in the mid-80's to late-90's, censorship wasn't a huge thing. He saw the shitty R-rated movies, he heard the dumb sex stories, he experienced things most kids today don't know about until their late teens when his age was a single digit. Maybe that's why nothin shocked him past the age of twelve, or the reason he was drawn to the Army, fuck if he knows or cares. He's been watchin UFC since he was eleven, so take that however you wish.

He was responsible and mature about it though, if any of his friend's parents didn't want their kids exposed to it, he kept it to himself. He was always able to distinguish fiction from reality as well, so he didn't do stupid shit because "I saw it in a movie, it must be okay!!" Cade taught him better than that for fuck's sake-

30. In general, did they have a good childhood?

By his standards it was "fine... alright... Cade took care of me.", but what other people have told him is a whole different set of adjectives he's only ever read in horror books. It got much better when he got into his late (15-17) teens; Post-assault, Cade wasn't so nervous about him goin out alone, he got -and started carryin- his first pistol. Yeah, shit got a little better.

(Question Bank)

[mcrmadness]

Hhhhhhhhhh writing fanfiction is so difficult. I'm just overthinking all the time.

For example, I absolutely HATE it when in medias people are always lying and/or cheating. I hate it how in older slash fanfics being not-straight was always a huge problem, either internalized homophobia etc. or other people turning their backs to the main characters, in worst case scenarios it was friendships ruined because one had developed other feelings towards them. People ending up doing "gay things" and then regretting everything and becoming extremely cold towards the partner.

Like, it's so frustrating. Especially in one certain fandom of mine (*cough* dä *cough*). You don't need to go more than maybe 10-15 years back with fanfiction and you're already getting stories that are nothing but one or all of the above. Hell, even FAN VIDEOS were always some super sad angsty break-up stories like... why???

Already back then I started writing fanfiction myself because I wanted to read something nice, fluffy and lighthearted (without smut), and I couldn't find that anywhere so it was the old case of: I have to do everything here myself then.

And now every time I write my fanfics that still somewhat rebel against these, idk, gay-shaming fanfics filled with internalized homophobia, secret guilty pleasure relationships with cheating I just. I feel like I'm doing the right thing. But at the same time I think about my fanfics through the eyes of a reader and it's just... I'm wondering if my fanfics come across as me trying to moralize or something.

"Don't cheat, be who you are, don't be ashamed of who you are, don't hate on others for something they can't affect on..."

I mean that if people read a fanfic where a subplot is to avoid cheating, does it feel like I'm talking to a child about how cheating is bad? Does the reader take is as a personal attack, even if they'd never even THINK about cheating, does it still make them feel like "yo don't you fucking tell me what to do or not to do!!!" when the core point of that is just that: I find cheating so awful tool in medias that I do not want it to my fanfics either. End of story.

I'm wondering if it sounds like I'm mocking those early 2000s style fanfics only because I never liked the way they handled things. In fact, I didn't even like the 2000s LGBT+ movies/series usually because why the fuck everything had to have a sad ending??? And nowadays medias are a bit better and I'm no longer interested because I grew out of that curious phase and now I'm just a boring aroace not interested in characters' preferences in relationships etc. anymore. I only write (and sometimes read) fanfiction about my OTP because my obsession is nowhere near healthy anymore but no can do.

Cos in a way I'm, I guess, venting out the experiences I got when I tried to find myself something to read or watch when I was an adolescent and a young adult, and couldn't find anything because everything was just, well like I explained above: filled with internalized homophobia or was nothing but smut. First one made me irrationally angry every time, and the second one eventually stopped interesting me after I grew out of the novelty of reading something "forbidden" when I was still a minor and realized that actually, I'm not enjoying these stories at all anymore, I'm not getting anything out of these, then I started skipping the smut parts and suddenly I was left with _nothing to read. Even with bigger fandoms I literally have nothing to read when I filter out stuff I don't want to read about. So, I don't read fanfiction because there ISN'T anything to read even if I would find some ship interesting to read about.

I'm derailing again but the main point was: when I kinda write my opinions about certains topics and things into my fics, I just hope that the readers don't think I'm scolding them of something they may or may have never even done.

And I'm not going to write them to cheat or be okay with cheating because I myself hate that. And I'm aromantic after all, and I still don't find it a nice plot tool.

[loveneverfailsme]

The exam is postponed again.

-------------

My board exam got postponed again for the second time. I was originally supposed to take it on March 29th, but PRC announced the temporary suspension in February (just a month before the exam) due to the pandemic. Last year in June, I took CPE classes for a semester to be able to take the exam. After passing my CPE course, I then enrolled in a review center (at my parents' insistence) and studied so hard for four months. When I heard the news that the exam was cancelled, I honestly felt so devastated.

You see, the tough thing about board exam is that it asks a lot of us. For one, it requires huge amounts of hard work and perseverance. Each day my study materials keep increasing that I've often wondered if I will be able to study everything, let alone read everything. Can I tell you how my room began to look like an elementary classroom back in the 2000s, because the walls are covered with Manila papers so that I can memorize things quickly. Every day for four months I endured waking up early and coming home very late. I endured sitting through an 8 hour lecture that I'm pretty sure my backside have made permanent impression on my chair. More importantly, my review classes were very hard to keep up, and those mock exams were so frustrating that whenever the results are posted outside the classroom I had to take a deep breath, smile at my friend, and pretend that I wasn't crushed by what I had just seen. I always hurried to go home, so that I can begin my cry fest. Even though the review was excruciating, I toughed it out because I thought it was going to be my turn.

Now I understand why the Lord tried to stop me from enrolling at my review center. I feel like He was trying to tell me that it won't be necessary, or that there won't be an exam. Last year in early November, I went to the city to enrol in a particular review center. Because I have a friend who enrolled before me, I was already quite informed (or so I thought) about the review center where I was going to enrol at. As soon as I was off the public transport, I asked a stranger if she knew where this review center was (according to my friend, it was around in that area). I was amazed when the woman pointed up and said, "it's in the second floor of this building." I found their office in like less than a minute, quite a feat considering I have a bad sense of direction. Everything seemed to be going perfectly.

So I came in and talked with the HR. She was nice, and we had a normal, friendly conversation. However, as I asked questions, I only slightly noticed that the information she gave wasn't aligne with what my friend had told me. I "still" wondered just a little, even though there was such a huge difference with the tuition fee. Yes, I can be really dense. A few minutes later, I was done paying the down payment, which is just 4% of the total amount of the tuition fee that my friend had told me. It was already too late when I remembered my friend mentioned the review center requires 50% as DP.

I got out of the office, and immediately called my friend. I knew there was something wrong, very wrong. A few minutes later, the friend was laughing at me over the phone. I got in the wrong RC. My mouth dropped open, and my face turned six shades of red. To be honest, I wanted to crawl into a hole. She told me the exact location again, patiently and carefully instructing me which way to go - not leaving even a tiny detail, and I listened intently this time. As I walk on my way to the "right" RC, I couldn't help but let out a private laugh. Seriously, this is so pitiful I thought. If there was ever a time in my life when I felt more brainless than I did at that moment, I certainly cannot think of it.

After a 15-minute walk, I arrived at a building that has the review center's name on it. Imagine that. The previous one doesn't have a name, or I may have just forgotten to ask. The HR was busy with the other enrollees, so I sat at the corner of the waiting area and found myself praying: Lord, give me a sign. Do you want me to stay there? Or do you want me to be here? Please give me a sign - a Yes and No OR a No and Yes.

* YES for original RC and NO for the wrong one.

*NO for original RC and YES for the wrong one.

Whichever it is that I will see from anywhere or hear from anyone first, that's the one I will choose.

I was at the corner twiddling my thumbs, but I remembered my parents specifically picked this review center for me. I stood up at once and walked to the HR counter to enrol when something caught my eye. A NO sign. I stopped and turned around, and instantly saw a YES sign. (It was a No smoking and Yes, we're open sign.) Omg it was so hilarious. It means God was saying no to this review center and yes to the previous, mistaken one. 😂😂

I still ended up enrolling at this RC though. A month later, the wrong RC gave me a call and told me to get my DP, because I was the only one who enrolled at their review center. It's crazy!! I think God was telling me it's just going to be a waste of time and money. Not to mention I got a lot of free study materials from others. When I put up my Manila papers on the walls of my room, I swear I could hear God say, "you don't need them." There was a point during my review when I had a crying fest, because I just couldn't study anymore. Sometimes, we overlook the peace that God placed in our hearts and we let our minds rule over us, and that's when things begin to go awry. Life is hard when our thoughts are complicated. How we think about things makes life hard. Overall, I think God was telling me to relax. Relax, the exam isn't even gonna take place.

I've learned that nothing, but my own willfulness and doubt can keep me from His wisdom, and that He is always willing to show me the best action to take. I just need to listen closely.