#I feel like the magnitude of this was lost on my first readthrough

[revenantghost]

I forget who in bookclub mentioned this (pls call yourself out and I'll @ you with credit in this post), but someone pointed out that we don't know if anyone knows what Meryl went through. What she knows. Wolfwood has a conversation with her earlier, but it's just about what Vash is, probably clueless as to their shared memories. Vash doesn't give any hints he has any idea what she's witnessed--he's so fearful of what he is and what he's capable of, it's possible he doesn't know what his powers are. Eventually, at the very earliest, it's seven months from now before we see her admit aloud what she's seen. And, hell. With how much Wolfwood and Vash tuck away and don't talk about, why would she feel like she could talk about it?

And yet, despite all that. Despite having trauma unlike anything she's ever known in her life before. Despite having trauma that no human should have to bear. Despite not being sure what to even do with that, with herself, with Vash (who she's seen witness and commit unspeakable horrors!). She still chooses kindness. She still chooses love and peace. She still chooses Vash.

We see a lot of people handle their trauma in really shitty ways in this story; in many ways, it's a story deeply about trauma. And Meryl, isolated and afraid and with this pain fresh within her, doesn't turn away from what she knows is good and worth saving on this hellhole planet. And, idk, I think that's beautiful, and I love her for it.