#I had fun writing this and reading about froid always makes me chuckle

[soundcrusher]

Dreams and other things

Honestly, I wasn't sure if I would even write this after the day I had. But, writing for this story gives me enough happiness and sometimes is the highlight of my day. Sooooo...

Yea, part 8 of season 2 from my story set in the sentient SG/LL au from @cuppajj is out.

I hope everyone is going to enjoy this. ^^

Trigger warning: none

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Rodimus hated that turbofox. Ever since he found it yesterday, it just kept on staring at him as if it saw a ghost. Kind of like those Autobots he hunted and that one Decepticon he accidentally saved. What was his name again? Fulcrum? Yes, Rodimus was pretty sure that his name was Fulcrum. But what does it matter? They were already on their way towards the next planet, and the prime made sure that there were no tracks Thrillchaser or the DJD could follow. 

But that also meant he was forced to spend his time together in a room with that damned turbofox. And, apparently, the mut got over his initial shock, because now he was always growling at him whenever Rodimus would even look in his general direction. However, the worst part was that the prime couldn’t even interact with his little brother as long as the turbofox was with him. Whenever Phoenix would be sitting at their table, reading a data-pad or listening to the radio, the turbofox would fix Rodimus with a glare that the prime knew all too well. It was the same glare he had seen on mechs who were accused of treason or those who defected and were caught. 

Now that Rodimus was thinking about it, wasn’t there a mech who was a traitor and had a turbofox alt-mode? But this would surely be too much of a coincidence. Then again, he has seen many things in his life. Many coincidences were among them. Which meant, there could be more than meets the eye with the turbofox his brother picked up.

The prime let out a groan at the mere thought. Of course, his luck had to run out at one point, but why did it have to end now? Why did Primus and Unicron do this to him? Was it because of the things he’s done during the war? Was it because of the Decepticons he’s burned? Was it because he was amongst the Autobots who watched Dominus Ambus being domesticated and did nothing? No matter what it was, Rodimus was sure that the two gods were laughing at him now. And he couldn’t even kill the damned mut. No, not when he swore to never kill anyone, unless there was a reason to do so. And there was no reason. Also, how would Phoenix react to him getting rid of that damned turbofox? 

Not good. Rodimus was sure of it. Phoenix would probably be devastated, if he should ever try anything. Also, hasn’t he already ruined Dominus’ life enough? If this turbofox truly was Dominus Ambus, then Rodimus owed him. And if he wasn’t, his hands were bound either way. Phoenix has taken a liking to him and Rodimus didn’t have the spark to take one of the very few friends the youngling had ever made. Even if it was a defector trapped in the ody of a turbofox.

“I’m really in it now, aren’t I?” Muttered the prime, as he made sure the ship was still on the right course. “What happened to the prime who didn’t care about others? He grew a softspot for a youngspark.”

Rodimus was pulled out of his musing, as he heard the door to the bridge open and close. “Roddy? Do you think that my nightmares might be trying to tell me something?” Asked his brother, as he sat down next to the captain's chair. Holding a data-pad in his servos. 

“How did you come to that conclusion?” Asked the prime as he looked up from the console in front of him and down to the youngling. “Don’t tell me you read something that got you thinking.” After saying that, Rodimus could see how Phoenix averted his optics from his. “W-well….” Muttered the youngling quietly, while his wings slightly shook from embarrassment. “I was reading something, and it says that when two of the three components of yourself are fighting, the third will try to make the wishes of one of the fighting parts true, by either giving you dreams or neuroses. So, it got me thinking. What if my nightmares and fears are my subconscious trying to lessen my fears, or show me what my fears are, so that I could try working on lessening them. But that would also mean for me to take a look at my memories to determine which ones were the cataclysm for my fears. But I don’t want to do that, because I’m scared of remembering the things that happened.”

“Phoenix… give me that data-pad.” Said Rodimus and waited for Phoenix to give him the pad. Which the youngling did, reluctantly. Mostly because he didn’t want his brother to think that he was overthinking again, and also, because that was one of the data-pads he took with him from the Lost Light. Specifically, it was one from Rung’s office. Either way, Rodimus skimmed the text, before letting out a small scoff. Of course, it was one of Froid’s works. “Just because you have nightmares about Lightlost and the Lost Light, doesn’t mean that something is wrong with you, Phoenix.” The prime said, before handing Phoenix the data-pad back. “Do we have to have this talk again? There is nothing wrong with you. You’re fine. Yes, there might be an underlying issue, but it doesn’t mean that it has to do anything with your nightmares.”

“Still…” Muttered Phoenix, which caused Rodimus to let out a soft sigh, before getting up and pulling his brother back to their living space. Pushing the youngling into their dinette and getting something to eat. Pushing one plate towards Phoenix, while sitting down with his own. Never give the turbofox even one glanze. “Eat, you haven’t had anything the whole morning, and you tend to overthink when you’re hungry.” Said the prime and waited until his brother was eating, before starting himself. After that, Rodimus made sure their conversation was stirred towards a more lighthearted topic.

Yes, he knew that avoiding the issue would only work for so long, but Rodimus was no professional. He could help Phoenix hide a body or take out a mech in many different ways, but when it came to a healthy mind? By Primus, Rodimus could need some help himself. So, pushing the issue to the back was the only thing he could do, until they visited a planet housing a psychologist or made their way back to Cybertron. 

“Okay, okay, okay. Seriously, Phoenix, you shame me for my preferences in a partner, but then you come and tell me you had a crush on someone who’s alt-mode was a flower?” Asked Rodimus in between laughter, which was met with an embarrassed screech from Phoenix. “They weren’t a flower! They were a mantis!” Yelled the youngling, while he tried to hide the plush forming on his cheeks. “Their alt-mode was a really cute mantis!” That admission only made Rodimus laugh harder. “So, you’re telling me that you had a crush on an insecticon who could turn into a mantis?”

“Don’t you dare judge me for my crush! My mother liked them!” Phoenix huffed and crossed his arms over his chestplate. Giving Rodimus one of his biggest pouts, which didn’t help the prime calm down. It only added fuel to the fire that was Rodimus’ laughter. 

Although, Rodimus did stop once the turbofox fixed him with a glare that said ‘Continue laughing and I will bite you’ while it jumped up on the bench and sat down next to Phoenix. Yep, he should have left the turbofox behind. Dominus, or not, he was turning out to be worse than Ultra Magnus when it comes to fun. However, once the prime took a good look at his brother, he could see how upset the youngling truly was. Maybe he was taking his teasing a little bit too far. 

“Why don’t you tell me about them?” Asked Rodimus after a while. Getting a suspicious look from Phoenix, before the kid started to talk about his crush. Telling him how they had met, how nice they were and how much fun he had whenever his crush was around. Although, after a while, Phoenix grew quieter, until his words were nothing more than mutters. “But they left. Their creators found another place to live at and I never saw them again… We did keep in contact through comms and such, but they eventually stopped responding… And then I boarded my crew's ship and ended up on the Lost Light.” The youngling sighed, before shaking his head and smiling. “But in their last comm, they told me that they had met a nice mech and started going out with him. So, they are at least happy.”

“And how do you feel about that?” Asked the prime. 

“I’m okay with it. I mean… I knew that they would never want me as a boyfriend. Not with how I look, not that I don’t look good, but they would have been a target for… you know…” Phoenix said with a simple shoulder shrug. “Also, I was happy just being friends with them, because we were the best of friends. And I was happy with just spending time together, because I knew that I wouldn’t be allowed to have more than that. Mother was already getting looks wherever we went together. I didn’t want my only friend to have to go through the same.” Phoenix smiled at the last sentence. “Also, they were one of the few who saw me as me and not you. So, why should I care about that, as long as I get a friend to have fun with.”

Rodimus let out a chuckle. The innocence of this youngling was sometimes just too much. “Well, should you ever find your special someone to spend the rest of your life with, they’ll be the luckiest mech or femme in the whole galaxy.”

“Is that a compliment?” Asked Phoenix with a small smirk on his face. “I didn’t know you were capable of giving them out.”

“Only for your brother, only for you.”