#I have a big drabble in my head of when Julian found out he'd been augmented

[dimensionalspades]

💭 + Julian's view of his parents!

- headcanons || accepting -

Oh we just want an essay huh

By the time 'Doctor Bashir, I Presume' rolls around, Julian's feelings are negative. He still loves his parents, very deep down, but he's been no contact with them for over a decade and doesn't want to change that. Throughout the episode, his feelings grow more acidic because he realizes just how self-absorbed they are and it fully sets in that he was never his own person to them, just a "legacy".

But there was a time when he adored them. When he was a child and couldn't grasp what'd happened to him, he trusted his parents like all kids do. For quite a few years, Julian tried to be the perfect son to appease his father. But as time went on, the cracks started to show. Julian often couldn't process the overload of enhanced sensory information, leading to meltdowns and, occasionally, Julian shutting down entirely. His parents would grow increasingly controlling of Julian, forcing him to take up classes and tutors in an effort to shove every bit of knowledge and accomplishment onto him. They refused to seek therapy for Julian, fearing that someone would figure out what they'd done, and even went so far as to move on occasion if Richard felt even the smallest hint they'd be exposed. Julian tried to ignore his problems with very limited success, and instead buried himself in hyperfixations, with his parents intervening in interests they deemed not worth his time.

This built a deep-seated resentment that quickly turned into hatred, particularly for Richard, who showed Julian time and time again how shallow his love was. He only ever saw Julian as an extension of himself and punished him when he stepped outside of that role. Richard's "need" to have the perfect son completely demolished Julian's sense of self, and his refusal to help Julian manage the pitfalls that came with being enhanced and autistic left lifelong scars on Julian and is why he's so meticulous about masking.

While Julian knew how selfish his parents truly were, he still loved them when he discovered that he'd been augmented. The discovery shattered him completely, and if asked, he probably can't remember the full confrontation with his parents due to stress. Everything fell into place, and in an instant he saw what his father for what he was; a malignant narcissist who hated his son.

Amsha, however, is a more complicated case to Julian. In his youth, when he was struggling with sensory overload or just in general, he would run to Amsha. Often, when Richard grew angry with Julian or they got into an argument, Amsha would comfort him while reinforcing Richard's point of view. She enabled Richard's abuse, and many times grew just as frustrated with Julian's struggle to manage his emotions and socialize "properly". It actually wasn't until DBIP that Julian saw just how much Amsha agreed with and sympathized with Richard. While the reveal of what they'd done showed him that, her demand for Julian to understand their point of view of practicing eugenics on their son hammered home that Amsha wasn't a better parent than Richard, she was just better at manipulating.

Post canon when Richard is out of jail, they attempt to get into contact with Julian again, but Julian refuses, and goes so far as to leave the station if they ever try to visit ds9.