#I have so many oddly specific categories to sort the cast into and this is one of them

[shwoo]

Okay here's my headcanons of which Bugsnax characters actually know the Journalist's name. I'm also headcanoning that Lizbert mentioned their name when she told the others she wanted to invite them, and that they tend not to give their name unless prompted. They're a journalist, is that not enough?! (They may also have some personal identity issues)

REMEMBERED THEIR NAME

Lizbert: Knows their name and maybe also their address.

Beffica: Knew their name because she's read all their articles. Pretended not to know at first as part of her facade of detachment, which is why she said "You're that journalist!" when first meeting them.

Clumby: Presumably knows them as something more specific than "obsessed monster hunter who made me have to work late."

Chandlo: Remembered because he is definitely the kind of friendly and outgoing person who can remember anyone's name after hearing it once.

Wiggle: Makes a point of remembering journalist's names. Tends to unconsciously assume that any media person is there mostly for her, so she wants to make a good impression.

Snorpy: Remembered in order to look into them and figure out if they were the heroic truth-seeker kind of journalist or the villainous sensationalist kind. Liked what he found, but still suspected they were a Grumpinati impersonator when first meeting them.

Floofty: Remembers their name, but refuses to use it out of spite.

DID NOT REMEMBER THEIR NAME

Gramble: Forgot their name, and either asked them when they met, or asked Wiggle.

Triffany: Terrible with names, apologised and asked them for it when they met.

Cromdo: Told himself he'd remember their name in case they did show up and he had the chance to sell them something, then totally forgot. Asked them what it was when they met, and immediately did the "[diminutive], can I call you [diminutive]?" thing. The Journalist said "Sure," because they didn't really care.

Eggabell: Didn't pay much attention to what Lizbert said about them, since she didn't think they'd take the invitation. Despite having quite a bit of interaction with them and worrying about their health, didn't realise she didn't know what to call them until halfway through her "I just need Filbo and... Filbo's... buddy." line.

Shelda: Tried to remember their name so she could address them by it before they introduced themself, and impress them with her mystical knowledge, but got distracted by everything else that was happening and forgot. Got away with it for a while because of her tendency to refer to people with descriptions when overacting, but exposed herself when she said "Floofty, did you ask the journalist to throw acid at you?" The Journalist made fun of her for keeping up the charade for so long, so she reminded them that Floofty had asked them to throw acid at them, and they'd done it.

Wambus: Took a little while to realise that he couldn't get away with just calling them Stranger forever, and then was too stubborn to admit defeat and ask. The Journalist specifically suggested he use their name after his "I been calling you stranger, but you been around a while" chat, but he still refused to ask what it was, or admit that he didn't already know. Eventually heard Triffany refer to them by name, but she had to do it a few times before he decided that he knew it now.

Filbo: Forget immediately after being told, and also forgot to ask when they met. Didn't realise they probably had a name until after they'd interviewed him, and didn't want to ask out of awkwardness. Hoped they or one of the others would mention it, but coincidentally, nobody ever did, at least in an unambiguous way. Eventually asked them while they were heading back to the mainland, but continues to call them Buddy anyway.

Jamfoot: Clumby told him their name when she let him know that they were also going to Snaktooth Island, and he forgot their entire existence immediately. Was confused when Clumby mentioned them by name after they returned alive, even after she clarified that they were her ex-employee who went to Snaktooth Island.

[roberteospeedwagon]

An Analysis of Troll Biology

Hi, I’m insane and have developed an interest in speculative biology. Homestuck is also one of my oldest special interests, so of course I have to combine the two and figure out what, exactly, is happening with trolls biologically.

Of course, I am a human, and extraterrestrial life has not been discovered yet. As such, I will be basing this analysis on Earth’s biology, because that’s all I have. I am aware that evolution would go differently on a radically different planet, and, as such, I will be having a far laxer view of strict categories.

I will be referencing Alternia specifically, although this should all apply to Beforus, too.

The rest will be under the cut, because this post will be long.

Class

Trolls are odd. They generally seem more bug-like, but have mammallian features, some breathe underwater, and some can’t. What’s going on?

Well, it turns out the last oddity actually explains it -- trolls are amphibians. Amphibians have lungs and gills. Landwellers are like most amphibians, having gills as larvae and then losing them in adulthood. Seadwellers are the less common type, that keep gills into adulthood. The fins of seadwellers may be a secondary trait that evolved, and the more mammalian features (such as breasts) may be a coincidental form of sexual dimorphism.

Evolution

Like Earth, I believe life began on Alternia in the water, for basically the same reasons it did here -- easier access to energy sources, easier for elements to bond and therefore create things like DNA/RNA, etc. Adding onto this, the heat of the Alternian sun likely made the depths of the ocean more accessible for life to flourish, as the radiation and heat would more quickly break down things like DNA/RNA.

I believe trolls evolved from a creature that was sort of a Metoposaurus-Cynodont mix, due to having very mammalian (specifically, primate-like) features, but functioning more like amphibians. I also believe that trolls and lusii have a common ancestor, due to the existence of the mother grub sort of functioning like a queen bee. Upon the split between lusii and trolls, despite the many differences they shared, they still developed a highly codependent relationship, with lusii functioning as parents for trolls. The biological connection between lusii and trolls are further supported by this connection existing on Beforus, despite the fact that Beforus did not undergo the rigorous rage-amplification that Alternia did.

For the sake of brevity, I’ll give a name to the genus trolls are apart of -- Jotunn. I believe that early Jotunn species were scattered across the world, however I believe the direct ancestor of trolls, or Jotunn antecessor, were equally aquatic and terrestrial. Jotunn species likely had rhino-like skin, as modern trolls’ skin pigment does not seem to be effected by blood (see: Karkat), and the harsher environment of Alternia would likely necessitate this type of evolution.

Jotunn antecessor likely had gills, but no fins. Their blood color was likely in-between purple (the caste that is the closest to water), and violet (the most common waterborne caste). Like modern trolls, Jotunn antecessor likely had pitch black hair, candy corn-like horns, yellow-orange sclera. Oddly enough, I believe Jotunn antecessor was actually diurnal! Yellow-orange sclera is often indicative of animals hunting during the day, for example, owls. As more trolls spread on land, this may have been kept as a communicative feature, similarly to how humans have white sclera to make body language more distinct. Jotunn antecessor likely had a more marine diet as a result, with the water functioning as a way to hide from the Alternian sun. Jotunn antecessor also probably had some electricity-based powers, as a lot of the caste abilities can be connected to electricity.

Modern trolls likely evolved due to Jotunn antecessors exploring more parts of Alternia. As they did so, they encountered more Jotunn species, and likely interbred with them, creating many aspects of modern trolls. For example, the ancestors of seadwellers likely stayed underwater, and begun mating with Jotunn species that had things like fins. Though seadwellers kept their ability to breathe on land, they gained certain optimizations for living underwater, so most seadweller cultures lived underwater, but did regularly come out to trade.

Landweller ancestors went out of the water, and interbred with land-exclusive Jotunn species. This lead to them no longer having functioning gills -- indeed, landwellers now likely lose their gills as wigglers, like tadpoles and certain species of salamanders. They did, however, develop certain traits that optimized living on land.

Modern trolls are likely nocturnal due to landwellers. Landwellers are more common than seadwellers, and as landwellers became nocturnal, seadwellers had to follow suit, or no longer be able to trade with landwellers. This also gained them a hunting advantage, as most prehistoric Alternian sea creatures were diurnal due to the ocean protecting them from the sun.

Rainbowdrinkers likely evolved due to jadebloods needing to see eachother in the caverns, so glowing was useful.

Blood color differences were likely the result of Jotunn interbreeding + mutations. It’s implied that Karkat’s non-mutant blood color is lime, so it’s possible that candy red blood evolved into limebloods.

Blood Differences

Blood differences imply a different basis of blood color. Bluer/cooler blood tones may be based on copper and use hemocyanian, warmer/redder blood tones may be based on iron and use hemoglobin, yellower blood tones likely have higher concentrations of vanabin, greener blood tones have higher concentrations of biliverdin, and violet-er blood tones have higher concentrations of hemerythrin.

This would also explain the lack of a pure green caste, because higher concentrations of biliverdin can damage DNA, cells, and neurons.

Mind control powers may be caused by influencing the brain’s activity by emitting electromagnetic radiation that then alters their brain to signal their body to do a certain act, like a more advanced form of bio-robots. Levitation may be electromagnetic.

[glenngaylord]

A PAUSE FOR SOME PURE POP CULTURE BLISS

ABBA: BON VOYAGE

Sometimes, a bit of pop culture can have an overwhelming effect on me.  A memorable shot in a film, such as the beautiful moment when Harley Quinn escapes captivity in The Suicide Squad, exiting in slow motion surrounded by animated flowers and birds, will stay etched in my memory. Same goes for a perfect meal, a well-earned reality competition victory, an astounding architectural feat, such as The Vessel in NYC, and a perfect pop song. I consider “Toxic” by Britney Spears to be at the top in that category.

In fact, my musical tastes have always leaned towards bouncy pop. Give me a beat and a great melody and I’m a fan for life. I’ve been a lifelong fan of ABBA, the Swedish quartet, specifically for their distinctively European chord progressions, twisty melodies, snappy bass, oddly dark lyrics, and those otherworldly, precise harmonies by Agnetha and Anni-Frid. I remember by sister Wendy introducing them to me, blasting “S.O.S” on our family stereo as she’d pace across the room. As she strode back and forth, taking in the music, it felt like a sacred act. You could feel her soaking it up and sense she was thinking about what she was hearing. I’m so grateful I learned to appreciate music from my sister, something I don’t think she knew until now.

A year later, now a diehard fan, I would go to the record store at our nearby mall, anxiously asking the cashier when ABBA’s new record, Arrival, would get released. They never really knew, seeing how the internet didn’t exist, so I’d go once a week for months on end until it finally appeared. I’d repeat the same steps the following year for ABBA: The Album. I opted out of seeing them live when they toured the USA, thinking, I’ll catch them next time. There was no next time, and I regret the chance to see these Pop Masters in person to this day.

Consider my joy, that 39 years after their last recorded music, they’ve not only announced a groundbreaking live tour of sorts, but a new album, Voyage. Two new songs saw their release a few days ago, and I cannot stop crying. Yes, they’ve aged and you can hear it in their voices, and they haven’t tried one bit to modernize their sound, which wisely plays into the beautiful nostalgia of it all. They’ve trapped themselves in time to give us old and new simultaneously, much like the motion-captured, de-aged avatars (rightfully called ABBA-tars) which will appear as holograms performing with a 10-piece band at their live shows.

Claiming nobody wants to see them onstage at their current age, the band has offered up a gust of wistful nostalgia, and have found the perfect moment to do so. With COVID, the Taliban, Texas, the prison colony known as North Korea, systemic racism, the rise of fascism with its war with truth, the plight of Sudanese refugees, on and on, we could all use a little joy and most importantly, harmony.

The two new songs, “I Still Have Faith In You” and “Don’t Shut Me Down” may feel like pastiches of their older hits, but they achieve pop perfection on their own. The first, a ballad in the vein of “Thank You For The Music” and “I Have A Dream” may seem a bit schmaltzy, but repeat listenings have revealed its quiet power. The lyrics, which seem purposefully open to interpretation, achieve a wonderful intimacy when they sing, “Do I have it in me?”, sounding, like Tracy Chapman famously wrote, “like a whisper”. The production builds and builds, including those wonderful “Fernando”-esque drums, reaching an epic crescendo. It’s a perfect little pop gem, corny as it may feel upon first listen.

The second song opens with another ballad feel, which made me droop for a second. I wanted a bop, not another testament to all things dire. After a few bars, however, “Dancing Queen 2.0” began with a bouncy beat, sax, cascading piano, and moments which gave me “Take A Chance On Me” and that “Super Trouper” bass line. I erupted in tears, happy that they were B-A-C-K, thrilled that they sound so good and pure, elated by those interconnected vocals, and so grateful to feel like that kid again, sneaking up on my sister as she walked across the room. I thought of all the years that have passed, yet in an instant I was taken back to those blissful days of soul-stirring music.

BIG BROTHER HISTORY

Yes, I’m a Big Brother nerd. There, I said it. This guilty pleasure summer reality series has always felt cheap and way less fun than watching paint dry.  Still, I love its over-the-top dopiness and it features some of the more complex strategies of any game out there, as long as they don’t fill the cast with influencers and non-gamers. This season, they’ve managed to put a lot of smart people into the house, and more significantly, 50% of them were people of color. Their main series has never had a Black winner, with the complaint being that Black contestants end up feeling like outsiders with few options to set up alliances with people who look like them.

Not so this season as the 6 Black contestants instantly set up “The Cookout” with the purpose of assuring a Black winner. With only a few weeks left in the game, they have done just that.  Now down to 8 people, it feels like a foregone conclusion we will see such a historic win. Moreover, with such players as Tiffany and Xavier, we see master gaming occuring. Tiffany, while no possessing the sharpest social skills, has figured out this game in a way that has put her among the ranks of some of the show’s greatest players. Even though many of the alliance members dislike each other, they all have a higher purpose and will hopefully give hope and example to anyone who enjoys seeing the underdogs finally win.