#I hope he won’t be afraid of our lovely bloop

[nyantodamax145]

I'd rather he mingle with Beepy, Glauc, and Indi

Oh yes, especially since Indigo is a fellow lighthouse enjoyer :D

[bloopbeepfuck]

bloop

i miss you alan. you have taught me more about love than anyone else ever before. i’ve never felt this way about anyone. i love it when you kiss me and when we rub our nose together saying ‘bloop bloop bloop’ i don’t know how we got so weird but i love it. i love it when you play with my hair. i love it when you bite on my ear. i love how much of a troll you are saying you have a lot of hoes but still manage to make me feel special. i love seeing you with your parents. i love how your mom is so bubbly and how your dad grins when he sees us together. i love it when you say you love me.

i never expected any of this to happen while I was visiting friends in SoCal. I always visited them and went to parties but I only wanted to have fun because I know nothing good is going to turn out. I don’t live there. My life is in NorCal. and it is completely true when people say NorCal and SoCal are like two different countries. but i don’t regret it a bit. i don’t regret going to that party and meeting you and talking to you. i don’t regret rejecting you at first because of the distance. i didn’t want to get hurt. i still don’t. but i fell for you, i really did. it’s funny how sometimes you just find things.

he drove me to the airport with olivia yesterday. i smiled because i didn’t want them to see me cry. but olivia started crying. i had to be strong i told myself. i told her i’m going to see her so soon; I’ll come down for halloween. then i hugged alan and kissed him goodbye. i saw tears in his eyes but i know he was trying to hold it back. (he won’t admit this) i checked in my bags, went through security, and as soon as i got onto the plane i started crying nonstop. it’s so scary because you don’t know what the fuck is going to happen. what if feelings fade away? what if we stop talking? i don’t want that to happen. i’m going to miss you so much alan. i’m going to miss waking up to you by my side. i’m going to miss brushing our teeth together. i’m going to miss you cooking for me. i’ll even miss you randomly slapping my butt. we only met three weeks ago. on 9/2. i know that’s not long. some people might think ‘oh but you just met him.’ but sometimes you just meet someone and you know. you can be yourself around them. you are comfortable with them. kind of like i never sing in front of people. but with him i do. i believe in fate, i do. because what if thao couldn’t drive us to the party that day. what if there was another event and i didn’t went to that party. then i would have never met him or he would have talked to another girl instead. these past three weeks have been amazing. i saw him almost everyday. i guess you could say it’s the right person at the wrong place at the wrong time.

olivia was right. when i asked her if i should let him in, she told me to just take the risk and see where it goes. i didn’t want to at first because what if i really fall for this guy? but this is what i have been doing all this time. i get afraid and build a wall so no guys can get to me. but i’m so glad i did with alan. because i already know this is going to be something good. i hope it will. the reason why long distance is hard is because you can’t see them whenever you want to. you can’t hold their hand or hug them or kiss them whenever you want to. you can only miss them. but i know if we both make the effort it’s going to be just fine. every thing is going to be just fine. right?

i don’t know what is going to happen but i just want to let you know no matter what i still want you in my life. even if something happens even if we can’t be together i promise i’ll always be here for you.