#I just need to accept that this is the Victor show and that Klaus is just a fun side character who’s actions have no real consequences

[lavendersugarplum]

I‘M JUST COMING ON HERE TO SAY THAT SEASON 4 WAS SO ASS!!

LIKE WHO WROTE THE SCRIPT?! FANFIC WRITERS?

I'm beyond relieved that I had already decided to rewrite this season to salvage Zero's character because there's no way I'm accepting this garbage as canon.

Let's be real - Seasons 1 and 2 were the peak of this show. Everything went downhill from Season 3, but I foolishly held out hope that they'd turn it around. Boy, was I wrong. This season was straight up ASS. To be honest, I might even do a season three rewrite as well.

No Sloane? No Umbrella Ben?  Don't even get me started on how they literally RUINED Five's character. Five would NEVER betray his brother like that. I can guarantee you that Zero would absolutely hate him this season. Honestly, she would've already checked out from the family as soon as they arrived in that new reality. Him falling in love with Lila was so out of character and almost disgusting to me, because you've known this dude ever since he was in a 13-year-old body. It's just weird to me. I just can't believe that this franchise would ruin probably the most loved character in the fandom. And then they went and made the last part all about his feelings.

Like mother like daughter, I guess. I've never liked Lila's character in the first place, but this season just solidified my stance. She was basically used as a shipping tool. She was already a Mary Sue before. I was just starting to warm up to her in season three because I already had predicted that we were basically stuck with her. They basically turned her into Y/N, and not the likeable kind. That love triangle was completely unnecessary and poorly executed. JUSTICE FOR DIEGO. He should've ended up with Eudora. They should've revived her somehow.

They completely abandoned plot threads from the end of Season 3. What happened to Allison's husband? What about Ben in the subway? And Luther's search for Sloane? It's like they forgot their own story.

The ending was so full with plot holes. They conveniently ignored the existence of other children born from the marigold, which was a crucial part of Lila's backstory. If the timelines are bleeding together, these other children should have caused major issues. The show's always had continuity problems, but ignoring a fundamental part of the story's premise is just inexcusable.

The Jennifer and Ben storyline was a complete waste of time. In previous seasons, they took care to develop new characters like Sloane, and the new Ben in Season 3. Jennifer's story was so rushed and disconnected that I couldn't bring myself to care about her at all. They ditched Sloane for THIS?! Ben's attachment to her made no sense either. It's a terrible way to create an end-of-timeline scenario with a character no one knows or cares about due to lack of screen time.

Killing off the entire cast in the finale is an enormously risky move that can backfire. You need a rock-solid narrative reason and the audience's complete buy-in to pull this off. The Umbrella Academy failed miserably. It felt rushed and lazy, like they couldn't be bothered to explore any other options. We've seen Victor extract the Marigold from Harlan before, so the alternatives DO EXIST.

Klaus's character was criminally underutilized. This dude ALWAYS came through for his family in the end. This time, his character was completely wasted. And don't even get me started on how Allison gets a free pass after all the horrible things she did after they treated Viktor like crap, for the whole third season.

This season was an insult to fans who have invested time and emotion into this show. It's clear the writers have lost their way and have no idea how to properly conclude this story. I'm beyond disappointed and frustrated with how they've ruined what was once a promising series. In Netflix, a series is either canceled or they F up the franchise. They should've just left this show at three seasons and ended it anonymously. Can't believe we waited two years for this?

[sobbingstars]

SEASON 4 UMBRELLA ACADEMY SPOILERS!!!

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Hi! WHAT THE FUCK! My hot takes on this latest season bc if I don’t say these I’m gonna go insane.

Luthor: becoming a dancer was really funny. It was also kinda nice bc he was so ashamed of his body b4 when he was part monkey, so it’s good to see him being more comfortable in his own skin. And speaking of him being part monkey, that had NOTHING TO DO WITH HIS POWERS. His powers are SUPER STRENGTH, his father INJECTED HIM WITH MONKEY DNA OR SMT TO SAVE HIS LIFE. Made NO SENSE!

Diego: Diego being an absent/emotionally neglectful/bad father made NO SENSE! We saw him with Stan, he learned to be a father. Plus, he had his own issues with his dad, of course he would mentally do everything he could to avoid being his father. And also, him and Lila being in an unhappy marriage was so weird. Like, man was literally obsessed w/ her in season 3. What???

Alison: So we decided to not address any of her wrongs and just forgive her. She ASSAULTED LUTHOR. She tried to KILL VICTOR. SHE KILLED HARLAN. SHR TEAMED UP WITH REGGIE. Nothing??? Just forgive her for reasons??? That being said, Claire bear you were STUNNING thank you for being here and thank you Millie Davis, you were my childhood. But also, girl??? Show some support for your uncle. He needs help sometimes, just bc he’s immortal doesn’t mean he doesn’t have feelings :(

Klaus: I actually think they didn’t go super wrong with Klaus. Him becoming super paranoid after losing his powers made sense bc he died like every other day and just didn’t notice bc he just kept coming back, so I’d be afraid of everything too. And I think him being scared to have his powers again bc he was afraid he’d relapse is honestly so in character. That being said, fake that he didn’t even consider talking to Dave once he was sober and had his powers and wasn’t actively trying to stop the end of the world. And yall don’t even know how upset I was when he started levitating with his SHOES ON. NOT COMIC ACCURATE.

Five: WORDS DONT DESCRIBE MY RAGE. BECOMING A CIA AGENT? WHEN THE WORLD WASN’T ACTIVELY ENDING AND HE COULD JUST RETIRE? YOU KNOW AT LEAST ON OF HIS SIBLINGS WOULD LET HIM STAY. AND FALLING IN LOVE WITH LILA?? IT MADE NO SENSE, WAS SO OUT OF CHARACTER EHRN HE LITERALLY WAS LIKE ‘Lila would be stupid to throw away her happy life’ AND PROCEEDED TO WRECK HER HAPPY LIFE? I GET THAT IT WAS SEVEN YEARS BUT GOD DAMN FIVE, YOU WERE MARRIED TO DOLORES FOR THIRTY! AND THEY DIDNT EVEN BRING HER UP! NOT ONCE! AND JUST GIVING UP AND LETTING THE WORLD END? FOR FUNSIES? ABANDONING HIS FAMILY? NOT GIVING TWO SHITS? MAN ENDED THE WORLD THREE TIMES TRYING TO SAVE HIS FAMILY! HIS FAMILY IS ONE OF THE ONLY THINGS HE CARES ABT AND HE WOULD NEVER EVEN CONSIDER GOING AFTER HIS BROTHERS WIFE! Five Hargreeves, they could never make me hate you, but what the FUCK!

Ben: So unrealistic that he didn’t break down any his siblings all being dead once. We deserved a heart between him and Five where Ben was like ‘All my family is dead’ and Fives like ‘I know how that feels’ bc his siblings were dead for 40+ years. Instead, he just had no character development at all and just died bc of a girl he met once. The only reason I was a little sad when he died was bc of season one and two Ben who was so sweet and amazing and season three Ben who just wanted to be loved and accepted. They didn’t even have any relationship development between him and Jennifer.

Victor: I’m sorry, he owns a BAR and was an awful boyfriend?? WHAT!? I was hoping we were gonna have this emotional scene where he plays the Violin again bc he hasn’t played it since he ENDED THE WORLD in season one, and he would be happy bc Violin was a genuine passion of his and he was gonna no longer be afraid. And being a bad boyfriend?? Unrealistic, he was so kind and good with kids??? Are you kidding??? That being said I really liked when he stood up to Reggie. That was rlly funny.

Lila: Yall know what I’m gonna say. You just KNOW. I GET that transitioning from full time assassin to full time mom would be a hard switch but you’re telling me she WOULDN’T have ANY sort of job? NONE??? With all her family being back in her life? She’d just sit in the house? And she wouldn’t sit in the house and be unhappy. She would absolutely call Diego out on his shit and complaining problem and he’d be like ‘Yes ma’am.’ Bc their relationship was so fun in season two and three and then they made it into a no-fun, unhappy marriage, and Lila just had so little of her original personality. And her liking Five was so weird. She sees him as a KID. He LOOKS like a kid. Made no sense.

Reggie: Actually wasn’t a total ass this season. Got into a malewife/girlboss relationship. Managed to actually have feelings. That being said, why how the fuck was he an ALIEN IN SEASON TWO??? I get that his wife was the one with the weird power things, but they just??? Never explained it??? What was going on??? I was so confused this ENTIRE SEASON.

[harleyxhoward]

The Umbrella Academy S4 (thoughts & opinions)

- HOT TAKE: The issue I had with Five and Lila getting together wasn’t the bizarre age gap or insensitivity of Five sleeping with his brother’s wife, but how they don’t resolve the tension properly before they all cease to exist. Specifically Diego and Five don’t get to hold hands the way Lila and Five did, even though it wasn’t really up to Lila to “forgive” Five, but whatever. I thought that had this affair been treated with an ounce of consideration it would reveal a lot more about both characters shared desperation for affection and emotional stimulation. Five spent decades in complete social isolation to the point where he legitimately fell in love with a mannequin and you want me to believe that, given the similar scenario that most certainly triggered the same “well I guess I’m stuck in this shit now for an indefinite amount of time” area of his brain, he wouldn’t have resorted to falling in love with the fist available person regardless of what it meant outside of the subway? Lila too seemed to get with Diego because while they did click in S2, she had never lived a life that allowed her to experience romance or starting a family like she could with Diego. She pumped out three kids to seemingly force herself to enjoy what she knows could be taken away from her at the throwing of a time traveling briefcase, but her behavior this season is baffling because what do you mean after seven years of searching for a way home she never once brings up missing those three children until the opportunity to return home presents itself? She tries to wipe her hands of the situation, but then the show just kind of ends without meaningful conclusion, so…

- The ending was sloppy. I know you know that, but my issue wasn’t the actual end. The Hargreeves having to sacrifice themselves in a way indicative of the S1 finale makes perfect sense, especially with the painfully shallow Five Diner down in that unexplained subway station where they all indirectly allude to the fact that there’s never a condition where at least one of the family doesn’t end the world. Had the Fives took time to explain that each Hargreeve possesses earth shattering abilities that eventually snowball out of control regardless of the condition, and all resistance is futile, I would accept that the ending makes more sense than just blaming the marigold despite the fact that Victor can/has been able to syphon marigold out of people, and could’ve just taken it all himself but you know, whatever.

- I also deeply resent that a show about familial trauma and bonding despite the shared adversity ultimately concluded on everyone giving up. No. You don’t get to say that they “didn’t just give up” because yes, them saying “oh no, well, there’s ten minutes left of the episode, guess we should cease to exist now” is the definition of not even trying to venture down into the subway as a family and fix the other timelines one at a time, using their newfound familial unity to solve every timeline until they converge into one. I’m not saying that needed to happen at all, or that they should have succeeded even if they tried, but AT LEAST THEN THEY WOULD HAVE TRIED. The writers gave up, the characters gave up, and the metaphor of grief and family issues the show spent so long to cultivate were just abandoned.

- Klaus regressed with no substantial reason or impact other than to provide slapstick humor and comedic relief antics that didn’t amount to any of what he had spent the last few seasons building and working towards. Ben shouldn’t have been brought back after his noble and meaningful sacrifice of S2 only to be made into the most obnoxious version of himself. Allison didn’t even get to say “I heard a rumor” this season nor did she address attempting to sexually assault Luther, and Diego’s relationship with Lila was the absolute worst case scenario for both characters. Viktor was the only one with an arc worth watching this season, which is why I thought him having a solo sacrifice would have been even more gut wrenching but whatever.

- There is an insurmountable amount of plot holes that prove this show just got lazy. There should be a kugelblitz in the finale’s timeline. If Lila/Allison were never born then there could never be Grace/Lila’s children. You don’t get to say “well what about the subway” because that doesn’t protect them from the grandfather paradox, unless outright stated which the writers didn’t even bother to do.

- Why didn’t they just kill Jennifer? Who put her in the squid? If it was Reggie’s wife then why didn’t she just kill her? Why didn’t Reggie kill her when he built the town to “protect” her? Why did she react with pure terror when shown the squid? How did Jean and Gene get their hands on it? Was it a normal giant squid or an alien? Was it her mother? No, because then how did she speak English when she emerged from its stomach? Why did she say “the cleanse” like she knew what it meant when she didn’t? Ben should’ve been able to remember in the OG timeline how he died because absolutely every other spirit does and the show can’t just rewrite its own lore to cater to a last minute subplot that went nowhere. I don’t want to be mean but Jennifer never should have existed as a S4 add in because she did absolutely nothing for the plot other than confusing the audience with the persistent question of why didn’t they just kill her to prevent the cleanse from happening. Reginald said one of them had to die, but in the OG timeline he killed both just to be…cruel? What’s the point of writing that it just had to be one of them if you’re just going to act like it’s a package deal? This entire plot line made me truly believe this season was written by AI, I’m sorry.

[spookyfbi]

It’s not just the fact that there’s no Dave, it’s that we didn’t get any follow up to what they did in season 2 at all. Am I really to understand that Dave’s encounter with Klaus had zero affect on his life? Am I to understand that Dave was told the exact date and place of his death and when he found himself on hill 689 on February 21st he did absolutely nothing different? Am I to understand that as a soldier Dave was told the outcome of the war he was fighting and did nothing about it? I mean sure, you could argue he didn’t believe it, but we don’t even get to see whether or not he struggled or had any doubts?

And while I’m on the subject, it also makes me wonder what about Ray? As a civil rights activist knowing everything Allison told him, did it change anything about his life or his choices?

Did Diego telling that therapist that the president was going to be assassinated and then the president being assassinated have any affect on his life?

Did Klaus’ cult have any affect on the timeline?

It just felt like they were putting so many dominoes into place in season 2 and all of them were forgotten except for one.

[shit-people-probably-didnt-say]

People saying this season was slow/boring/didnt give us what we wanted listen up:

We got Allison using her powers willy nilly and having a villain arc (dont forgive the SA)

We got Klaus bonding with Sparrow Ben

We got Five not only having a nap but multiple changes in outfits

We got unexpected father Diego

We got Lila and Diego back

We got Lila accepting The Handler never loved her

We had Grace, we didnt even know if she was going to be in the show

We got Pogo, again as above

We got trans representation and a wonderful handling of Victors coming out by the siblings

We got Victor having confidence and threatening Sparrows no 1

We got Klaus finally training his powers rather than running away

We got proof he is immortal

The kids know Reg is an alien

We got Mr Pennycrumb (even if it was just for a monent

We got information on the birth mothers

We got more of Reggies background and why he needed 7 super powered kids

We got an actual Liego baby on the way

Ben and Five making a bet over Allison v Viktor

We got Luther not pining after Allison

We got Victor finally facing some consequences for his actions (not Harlans death but that verbal call out was deserved)

We got Sissy AND Ray back when they said neither would be returning

We got Sparrow Ben actually having feelings

We got bachelor party karaoke

We got to see a softer side to Reggie even if it was drug induced

‘Why cant you just get along with people!?’

We learnt more about Klaus’ time as a kid/teen

We got an apocalypse that wasnt Victors fault

We learnt Five started the commission

We learnt when terrified Stan can speak Spanis

We know of Bus Ball

Diego v Christopher

Five on a motorbike

Klaus fleeing the Amish

We got Allison telling shit how it is

We learnt the moon mission wasnt for nothing

We saw how traumatising the isolation was for Luther explaining why he didnt let it go in s1 (tbh if I were him Id have gone on alot more about it

We got drunk Diego

We got Reg singing ‘MUST BE THE MONAY!’ with a murdered Klaus in the trunk FOR CHRISTS SAKE

We got to see what TUA could’ve been like if they stuck together

Five squirting shampoo in Lilas eyes instead of killing her

We got to see Klaus hit with a aerial Luther, knock over a couch and call for peace so he can limp past while they continue to fight

NO TWINE NO BIRTHMOTHER!

And this is just off the top of my head

So stop your bitching, it was 1 season, they can only do so much

[bboiseux]

LA by Night Season 1 Guest PCs Ranked

Obviously, spoilers for Season 1 of LA by Night

The guests in LA by Night have been fascinating because unlike Critical Role where the guests are playing independent characters that the main cast happens to run into, overwhelmingly the guests here are largely playing NPCs with major plot purposes.  I think I kind of like this way of doing it better.  But LA by Night and Critical Role have very different narrative styles and this makes sense.

So, let’s talk about the guest characters!  This gets long, so the whole thing below the cut.

In ascending order by love:

Diane (Kelly Lynne D’Angelo): Look, Diane is here for one purpose and one purpose only: for Chloe to have someone to talk to.  She serves this purpose beautifully, but that doesn’t mean she’s interesting (although Jasper’s reactions to her and Juan are gold).

Strikes a Chord (Jason Charles Miller): Of course, Jason Charles Miller was going to be a werewolf.  The man is probably an actual werewolf!  That said, he’s in one of the weakest episodes of the season (saved only by excellent openings and closings) and Strikes a Chord ... doesn’t do much.  This is the guest PC that feels the most like a random new player wandering in instead of having a solid story purpose.

Ramona (Bex Taylor-Klaus): I like Ramona, but, as a guest PC, she’s just there to provide a face for a quick interaction.  *shrug*

Ib (Noura Ibraham): I’ll admit to liking Ib more as a background NPC, but I was intrigued by the different side of things that we got to see.  We gained more insight into ghouls and Noura brought some (if not needed, then fascinating) emotion to the part.  (I’ll also say that Victor’s reactions to Ib’s emotions gave some interesting insight into his own discomforts).

Carver (Taliesin Jaffe): A very interesting character and one I have assume we’ll see more of.  We start out thinking he’s a bad guy because he turned Annabelle--and those scenes are really painted as Annabelle confronting trauma in an intense way--but that turns out to be wrong: he turned her, but only to save her after she was killed by another vampire.  Fun, but he seems more destined for future greatness.

Miranda (Satine Phoenix):  Look, Miranda is largely a plot device, but ... she’s getting extra points just for toying with Annabelle.

Victoria Ash (Jessica Chobot): Although I wasn’t thrilled by Jessica Chobot’s performance, Victoria Ash is something else.  She is a perfect counterpoint to the cast, showing us just how dismissive of humans a vampire can be.  The slaughter she orders is ... intense.

Gregory Demetrios (Vince Caso): Look, I just like this guy’s bluster in the face of the complete failure that constitutes his life.

Chloe (Becca Scott): I mean, it’s not necessary her appearance that’s so enticing, but the impact she has well out weighs the banality of her scene.  The moment when she gets the note is heartbreaking and there’s a real question left hanging in the air of whether things will just end with that note.

Ellenore (Marisha Ray): I knew Marisha showed up and, well, she’s my favorite from Critical Role, so ....  This was just so emotional and I loved the connection that was shown between El and Annabelle.  But I also like the way that she put pressure on Annabelle to make a choice about her life by making it clear that she was willing to be turned.

Chaz Prince (Mark Meers): Well, holy shit.  The second episode comes along and Mark Meers just slides in and starts chewing the scenery.  Fantastic!  Chaz is so wonderfully punchable, but also starts to throw some light on Nelli and introduces a nice thread that I hope they actually follow up on: namely, abusive relationships.

X (Xander Jeanneret): X is probably the funniest past of LA by Night.  He’s so perfectly played by Xander as a cracked mind, but he also feels comfortable and honest, which is probably why he’s one of the few vampires that Annabelle would ever listen to ... which makes his reality check to Annabelle in the epilogue all the more powerful.  X isn’t challenging Annabelle because he feels like he had a responsibility or because he feels like he’s delivery “a truth.”  No, he’s telling her that they are monsters and that they have to accept that because he likes her.

Fiona (Ash Minnick):  Look, X is the most entertaining, but Fiona?  Fiona is just a beast of a vampire and there is great joy in seeing her constantly poking and looking down on Victor.  She consistently out Ventrues Victor and it is delightful.  Also, she is absolutely immoral and she presents a fantastic contrast to the regular cast who, for all their flaws, have tried to find at least the semblance of peaceful coexistence.  For all her smarts, Fiona is a predator and she would end anyone who gets in her way and has.  It’s just a beautiful performance.