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julies-butterflies · 3 years

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I must admit, sometimes I do feel like a ye olden solider, sending letters to my beloved across the waves during wartime. Oh my dearest Lydia, I hope the kudos and comments crops have been plentiful this season. Your last letter left me weeping. Why must you put poor Reginald through such pain?

(I gotta admit, I still can't believe that I'm talking to you. I've been looking up to your work for so long...it just feels a bit surreal, even now! Glad you like hearing my ramblings! And that you liked my vampire prompt! Did not realize you'd write back when I sent that in. Look at us now, huh?)

(Speaking of prompts, I sent those jukebox and willex ones too. And I loved them both so so much, I shall scream about them more when it is not 2 am because I need sleep)

(Oh and the update of If I Was You!!! Amazing, Stellar, Incredible, Reggie, Carrie, Julie shenanigans is my new favorite thing, DID YOU JUST DOUBLE THE CHAPTER COUNT, and I'm like 90% sure Trevor is in deep trouble with a certain angry jazz ghost. Seriously loving it)

I actually do not remember what it was like to send in 1/5 asks, because I did not get a Tumblr until very reccently! I've always been a nerdy person, but Jatp is my first time being really in a fandom. You gotta do something new in quarantine, right?

Ah yes. Luke and Emily. To me, it just seems obvious that there's so much love between them. Even with all the pain. You get it. You put it down so eloquently.

As for what kind of stories I like to read...it seriously depends on my mood.

I like niche aus, passion projects. Stories where you can just feel the author's love for the world they're inventing. But I tend to lean towards cannonverse. I like ghost stories, it's what drew me to this show in the first place. And I love exploring that concept. (Being forever gone, and always the same...it's just fascinating to me)

Platonic goodness is just WONDERFUL for this show. I will read anything with cuddles. I am touched starved and these kiddos are too, and I will cry about them puppy piling every damn day. Plus there's just some much POTENTIAL for future friendships! I love ones where Flynn and Carrie get to interact with the boys as well. And 90s content, from before and after the orpheum, just hits hard.

I really wasn't expecting to get invested in the couples on this show, but something about them is moving to me. So I do love to read about them. Watching two queer kids who lived during incredibly important areas of queer history find love together after death really hit hard for me, and there's just something so bittersweet about a girl and ghost deciding to love each other for the little time they're given.

I love family dynamics too. Anything with Ray and his seven disaster children, the band and Trevor.... I think Julie and Emily is one of my favorite dynamics to explore. A girl who lost her mother and a mother who lost her son, both grieving but with one able to speak to the dead...it's just very powerful to me.

(And of course, Luke and Emily, but I figured you already knew that)

Mostly...I like seeing the messy stuff. The unexpected consequences, the baggage. I want to see the messy emotions, the grief and anger, the jealously, the disorientation. I look for those glass shards, that might be too sharp to ever be addressed on the show. Not even the big, monumental plot lines just... the harder pieces of life, the little moments that don't fit neatly into a nine episode arc.

I just want to see them live you know? Love, laughter and loss all mixed together.

(One of my all time favorite tropes is "found family gets broken apart by trauma, only to find each other again and come back stronger than ever." I feel like this explains a lot of my taste in fiction)

Thank you for the writing advice. Your words were very motivating. I am trying to begin! I got up the nerve to start working on a little piece. Who knows if it will go anywhere. But it's been nice, to finally put some words on the page.

The POTC au is so freaking good man. The character dynamics are just on FIRE. Everything is broken and messy and the relationships genuinely tug at my heartstrings. It's such a fascinating story. Highly recommend, even with the cliff hangers.

OH HOW COULD I FORGET PAWPRINTER? Man oh man I love all her work. The wheelies art and steals universe is freaking amazing, not an avacado had me in tears (of laughter, till things got surprisingly sad). And All that Remains...slow burn Willex perfection. Jedi Alex and Pilot Willie have my HEART.

I don't think I've read firefall and weneedglitter (or if I have, I'm just not connecting the names to their pieces. I don't always remember author names. it's a problem). I will go look for them though! Cannot wait!

For more recs, I recently binge read We Found Wonderland. I was not mentally prepared for the sheer amount of feelings that gave me. Highly recommend, if you ever want an emotional rollercoaster with an incredibly satisfying end.

Going on to more serious subjects...I'm sorry your family doesn't see your grief for what it is: honest. Better to feel everything quietly, than make it an easily understadnable performance. Fake grief is so easy to spot.

I think of that scene from "Forever," when Buffy breaks down and tells Dawn that she has to keep busy, because if she stops, it means Joyce is really gone. There's a lot of truth there.

On a tangent here but.. there was a very long period in my life when I was told the ways I expressed my emotions were "incorrect". And I found that sometimes, no matter how you show your emotions, you'll always be criticized. Numbness can be called disinterest, but sobbing can be called attention-seeking too. Too big, too small: that jury was impossible to please This may not apply in your situation but...it's okay to feel however you can. It's the only think you can do, really.

As I've said before, Grief is such an odd trickster.

Don't you ever get tired of missing people... This past year, I've been so weary of grief. Sometimes it can be so sharp, but it's that dull ache. That ball and chain, no longer cutting through your skin, but rubbing it raw, weighing you down.

And people don't like to talk about that part, because it's long and tiresome, but oh, is it there. I find it hard to talk about my grief, because sometimes there's just so much of it. I could drown in it, and that fear keeps me from looking to close. To incorrectly quote Jane Austin: "If I missed you a little less, I might be able to talk about it more."

(Sometimes it's faceable. But sometimes you just can't bear it. And that's okay.)

But what you wrote in that eulogy...the love is there. It's in every word you write. I cried reading that section. I feel honored once again to see some of your jagged pieces. You're sharing your heart, and there's just so much love.

In the wise words of an author I know, "Love is like the snow Reggie. It never goes away."

And don't worry, I'm always with you.

Sending Love,

-LydiaStan7845 (aka Vampire Anon)

So...that Reggie and Nicky prompt

my god

my GOD

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD

I think it's safe to say congrats, you've officially destroyed me! I was not prepared for that at ALL. I should know better by now I guess.

I can't get over that even though they all take place in very different universe, all your stories just feel so connected! The way this talked about those headphones, which you mentioned in the first chapter of Kill Your Heroes...it's just so cool. All the characterization and backstory is just so well thought out, and it genuinely blows my mind.

I didn't think I could love Nicky Peters more. I was wrong. The way you write about him...even though you never go into exactly what happened to him after Reggie's death, you can just feel how much it's shapped him as a person. And the trauma around his father, and how he fears becoming like that, was just so beautifully written. He's just so lovable and flawed and trying so damn hard and you made my heart ache for him. Again.

You always take these genuinely crazy situations and...you just make them feel so real. I love you explore the strains such a revelation would put on Nicky's own life, it just makes everything so compellingly messy. It seriously feel like I was watching a real-life account of a family trying to deal with such a massive complication.

That porch scene had me in tears both times I read it. Reggie's just always a big brother, even though Nicky is more than twice his age now. My heart was shattered, and then you slowly mended it, piece by piece. And for absolutely no reason at all, you wouldn't happen to have a reference for the porch, would you?

Just wow. Hope you're doing well. Sending love and applause

-Vampire Anon

i’m not even gonna reply, but i want these documented... on my blog... for posterity. ( for any curious onlookers, i’m dating this anon now!! )

#vampire anon my beloved

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hansdunbabin20-blog · 7 years

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cyclicreferenceerror · 8 years

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Chronomorph

This post is based on Archimedes’s Chronophone and its Motivations, which I urge you to read now if you haven’t. Properly understood, the chronophone teaches us why it was so hard for Archimedes to arrive at beliefs that our own culture holds to be obvious (like “slavery is wrong”).

I like it because it could be a powerful tool to derive an intuitive measure of the change-inducing potential of an idea. To come up with cognitive strategies you could transmit to Archimedes to get him to do the things you consider good, you have to think of the things future generations would consider obvious and good, but which our own generation thinks incorrect and possibly outrageous. And in reverse, it serves as a test to measure the cultural impact of a cognitive strategy you’re following. Talking about “prediction markets” is sufficiently non-obvious in our culture that it might get Archimedes to, say, think about tax reforms, but getting him to change his mind about slavery would require coming up with something worth centuries of progress in our time. “Make money by inventing technological gadgets” is so obvious in our time that it would probably just come out as “conquer enemy territories”.

On first glance, it would seem that the notion of transmitting cognitive strategies rather than beliefs is simple enough to understand:

You cannot suggest, for example, that women should have the vote. Maybe you could persuade Archimedes of Syracuse of the issue, and maybe not; but it is a moot point, the chronophone will not transmit the advice. Or rather, it will transmit the advice, but it will come out as: "Install a tyrant of great personal virtue, such as Hiero II, under whose rule Syracuse experienced fifty years of peace and prosperity." That's how the chronophone avoids transmitting overly anachronistic information - it transmits cognitive strategies rather than words. If you follow the policy of "Check my brain's memory to see what my contemporary culture recommends as a wise form of political organization", what comes out of the chronophone is the result of Archimedes following the same policy of looking up in his brain what his era lauds as a wise form of political organization.

However, the problem with transmitting cognitive strategies instead of beliefs is that a cognitive strategy is derived from other strategies, and that chain usually has many levels. For instance, if I want to transmit “donate money to an effective charity”, what cognitive strategy do I transmit? How do I even identify my own cognitive strategy here? To oversimplify it a bit, it looks like:

Belief: “earn to give to the most effective charities”

strategy 0: “read widely to understand current thinking on effective altruism”

strategy A1: “seek to help the less privileged”

strategy A2: “understand my own (axiomatic) morality, whatever its origins”

strategy B1: “apply rational strategies since they help me win”

…

It’s cognitive strategies all the way down. Multiple strategies can combine (creating branching) to give rise to a new strategy, and strategies may feed back into each other (creating loops). Each of these levels will have a different cultural equivalent in Archimedes’ time because they have different cultural status in our time, so how does the chronophone select which level to transmit? Or in less abstract terms, how do you really figure out the result of trying to communicate a particular piece of advice over the chronophone? Saying “donate money to an effective charity” could be arrived at using any (and probably all) of the cognitive strategies “try the advice of the last reasonable-sounding book you read”, “follow your culture’s best stance on your favourite school of ethics”, or even “figure out something useful to say into a chronophone”, all of which would produce different results at the other end.

To really get at the heart of what powers the chronophone, you need to bypass Archimedes altogether. Imagine that our scientists, inspired by the chronophone, invent a kind of temporal manipulation device (“chronomorph” for short) which lets you manipulate physical reality across time! If the chronomorph is focused on you, then whatever actions you take here will be transmitted across to an ancient version of you that will dutifully obey.

Unfortunately, the chronomorph is subject to the same restrictions of time travel as the chronophone, so actions are translated through culturally equivalent cognitive strategies (“chronomorphed” for short).

The important thing to understand about the chronophone is that it is functionally equivalent to the chronomorph – that is, no more or less powerful. If you can describe a strategy into the chronophone that would come out the other end as something that’s actually useful for Archimedes to hear, then you can always execute the same strategy in your time and achieve the same amount of change-relative-to-your-culture (“chronomorphic delta” for short). As a consequence, you can test the impact of anything you want to say into a chronophone by instead focusing a chronomorph on yourself, and actually executing that strategy to measure its delta in your own culture.

This makes it much clearer what the result of saying “donate to an effective charity” into a chronophone would be. If you actually did this in our culture, it’s sufficiently non-obvious that the marginal benefit you achieve can be quite large. As a cultural ideal, if large numbers of rich people started paying attention to this, any measure of lives saved and improved would show massive gains. Yet it’s something that’s been around for a while without really taking off, suggesting that people don’t respond to merely being aware of it. It also faces valid criticisms. Any belief that comes out of the chronophone will hold the same promises and be beset by the same problems, and that’s all you need to know. It almost doesn’t matter what cognitive strategy is used to arrive at this belief; indeed you can back-calculate the common strategy that, when applied in the two cultures, gives rise to those two beliefs.

When we say that a chronophone transmits strategies instead of beliefs, we’re obliquely getting at what’s really conserved – the chronomorphic delta – the impact that believing in, talking about, and implementing a cognitive strategy has.

So what kinds of beliefs/strategies are good candidates to transmit through a chronophone? Or equivalently, what actions should you take today, that could be chronomorphed into desirable outcomes in Archimedes’s time?

A basic principle of the chronophone is that to get nonobvious output, you need nonobvious input. If you say something that is considered obvious in your home culture, it comes out of the chronophone as something that is considered obvious in Archimedes's culture.

Non-obvious is often a synonym for “weird”, “nerdy”, “socially unacceptable”, or even “subversive”, so the budding chronophonist must be prepared to cheerfully accept these labels. If you try to seek out especially those new ideas that are ignored, rejected, or suppressed by the mainstream, that’s probably fertile ground for finding good candidates. The chronophone is the bridge that transports the horror of slavery in Archimedes’s time into our own time, transmitted through invariant chronomorphic ignorance.

In Archimedes's time, slavery was thought right and proper; in our time, it is held an abomination. If, today, you need to argue that slavery is bad, you can invent all sorts of moral arguments which lead to that conclusion - all sorts of justifications leap readily to mind. If you could talk to Archimedes of Syracuse directly, you might even be able to persuade him to your viewpoint (or not). But the really odd thing is that, at some point in time, someone must have turned against slavery - gone from pro-slavery to anti-slavery - even though they didn't start out wanting to persuade themselves against slavery. By the time someone gets to the point of wanting to construct persuasive anti-slavery arguments, they must have already turned against slavery. If you know your desired moral destination, you are already there. Thus, that particular cognitive strategy - searching for ways to persuade people against slavery - can't explain how we got here from there, how Western culture went from pro-slavery to anti-slavery.

This gives us another clue: “searching for ways to persuade people against slavery” wouldn’t work in Archimedes time just as “searching for ways to persuade people against… umm… X” wouldn’t work in our time, because we don’t know what X is. If you wanted to chronomorph “figure out slavery is bad”, the action you would need to take here couldn’t be anything you already know is right. You have to start with your best guesses, and take step by blind step, always trying to course-correct, without knowing your destination.

So how could Archimedes have figured out that he should be anti-slavery, if he didn’t know his destination? How can you figure out truths about your world when you don’t already know them, when you don’t know others know, and when no one knows?

At a minimum, you need to admit your own ignorance, and acknowledge explicitly that many, if not most things in your culture will be recognised by future generations as bad. But you can’t stop there – the proper use of humility is to take specific actions in anticipation of your own errors.

How would you behave today if you knew you were being chronomorphed?

Footnotes:

So how could Archimedes have figured out that he should be anti-slavery, if he didn’t know his destination?

Perhaps the first step would have been acknowledging explicitly that there were probably in his world that were non-obvious to his culture, and that future generations would recognise them as such. Then he could actively seek out philosophers of his time who were considered subversive, and try to understand their thinking. He could have been more wary of mainstream ideas, prodding and poking at them until one rung hollow. He could have enlisted his smartest friends to help, but also tried to talk to the least obvious sources, even a slave. Maybe if he biased more towards the non-obvious, towards the fringe, it would have helped.

This strategy isn’t the best, and maybe not even good enough (given how deeply entrenched slavery was), but it’s a start. In our time, the closest equivalent I can think of is something like CFAR.

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