#I keep rediscovering old stuff that influenced Apologies

[desultory-novice]

Suggested Listening: Re_Birthday (lyrics)

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I don't really mind the quiet...

Especially in my head. It's been...kind busy there for a while. 

I never bothered to count how many there were. More numbers were good. That was all. Or so we believed. But looking back, it was pretty miserable. Like on bad blizzard days, when they'd pack everyone into one room? It was that, only they never let you back out.

If there's one thing I'm tired of, it's how dark it is. See, we don't "see" things the way other species do. Yeah, I know: giant eyeball. But that was like...our brain. What we saw was the form of things. Their composition. But we didn't see light. We didn't see color. 

I think...that was on purpose.

Because, and I know this from experience, when you're trapped in complete darkness for long enough, you'll listen to anyone who provides you with even the faintest hope of things changing.

I spent way too long listening, unaware or more likely, uncaring that I was only dragging more voices into the same morass I was mired in.

But that's all over.

Someone stopped it. Came in like a star on the spring breeze and brought light and hope and dreams back to the world. And the voices have all faded. The others, they've been freed, I think. 

I don't know for sure because, well, I'm still here.

...But I think I might be the only one here now. I don't know if it's because I was their "favorite," or because my sins were worse than most, or if there's some other reason I'm still around.

I can guess what you're thinking about now, but it's okay.

I don't want you to cry over me, because I've come to terms with the fact that I'm not getting out. I thought it was that damn collar that started it. But, now that I've got all this time to myself to think, I'm pretty sure...I've been trapped for way longer than that.

Maybe the darkness is just who I am? 

You see, sometime back, I learned that a long time ago, when Earth still used a bunch of different languages, my name had a slightly different meaning that the one it has now.

One guess what that was.

...So, yeah...

That's why it's okay that I'm still here. And I'll be fine, even with the things I said. Listen, if me taking in all the darkness means that you're left with nothing but light, then I've done my job right.

Miss you, though.

And sorry I scared you last time we met. I kinda hope you never figured out that was me, but I think you probably did, after a while.

I won't be upset if you're mad at me for that. Or for lying to you about, well, a lot of stuff. For hiding what was going on with me.

I've got some other stuff I should apologize for too, but...I'd feel better if you never had to hear about those... Heh. Guess I'm taking more than a few secrets with me to my "grave." 

...Sorry if calling it that sounds depressing.

It's a pretty poor excuse for a grave too. It's got the "laying still in the dark" part down, but come on. I know I wasn't THAT great of a guy, but aren't graves supposed to come with fl...

"Pfffpht!"

...Suddenly... ...Miraculously... ...It wasn't all darkness anymore.

There were bright blues and purples and yellows and whites. Raining down on me where I slept from what had to have been heaven. They fell and they fell and they fell until I was practically drowning in them.

...Forget-me-nots.

"Okay, now you're overdoing it, silly girl."

-

Thank you for the inspiration, @driftwoodmfb

[alvarezcharles]

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How To Get My Ex Back From His New Girlfriend

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How To Win Back My Ex Girlfriend From Her New Boyfriend