#I kept listening to In Dreams by Roy Orbison

[this-loser]

Silent Prayer

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Author's Notes: So, I actually haven't written in a while and for those who liked my previous stories I apologize. I deleted them from the account and forgot that I didn't have them saved so they are gone forever. Recently I have been hard on myself about that plus my writing. I ended up going inactive and recently going into the DC fandom, especially because of my love for Jason Todd, I got back into writing again. This is the first time I've written for Jason, bunch of scrapped ideas before this, so if it feels out of character I must apologize. Anyway, enough of my talking. Please enjoy!

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「WC: 889」

「Summary: He's unable to sleep but maybe a little music will coax him into sleeping」

「Warnings: I don't use Y/N, This might be a little sad tbh, Nothing explicit just wholesome fluff, This is shorter than I originally thought it would be but I'm okay with this」

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「Song name: "In Dreams" by Roy Orbison. In case you'd like to listen to it while reading look it up on either YouTube or Spotify.」

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It was never silent. Not in Gotham City. From the police sirens to either the neighbors or the people outside the apartment building going on about their lives. No one pays any mind, depending on where you're looking, to the fact that this place was one of the biggest shitholes. No one could tell Jason otherwise. He'd lived on the streets, did things that he shouldn't have done but he needed to survive, and he witnessed first hand just how god awful the people in the city can be. All of that had been seen on repeat, through the eyes of a child. Was he proud of his past? Depends but for the most part no.

Reflecting doesn't help. He knew that. It only made things come back and the emotions left him sour. Especially when the original point was to sleep, something he was having trouble doing. Again.

Jason sat up, the blanket pooling at his hips as he ran a hand through his hair. The sound of a vehicle honking caused him to lift his head, looking at the window blinds. A few seconds pass by before he relaxes. "Hmm..." The softness of your voice drew his attention along with the blanket moving as you turned over onto your left side. "Jason," "Go back to sleep, baby." He crooned, stopping you from continuing your sentence then leaning down to you, his hand pushing some of your hair out of your face as your eyes started to flutter open. "Shh, just go back to bed. Everything is alright." He was bullshitting, but not to worry you. Jason knew that you'd be up without another second if you knew his insomnia was bothering him again. "Just sleep." His hand gently cupped your cheek as he kept whispering coaxing words to ease you back into sleep, blissfully unaware of his suffering. "Jay," Through tired eyes you look at him, the darkness of the bedroom hides his face, however, you could make out the look he gave you. A soft, reassurance that would have fooled anyone else if they didn't know him well enough, that is if they ever broke past that permanent scowl he always had. The look alone drew a huff from you. "Liar." He froze, the look quickly morphing into a disappointed frown. "Please, sleep. Don't worry about me. I'll be okay." He brought forth a small smile, his hand caressing your cheek. "Trust me, you need more sleep than I do, I'll be alright." "Jason..." He shook his head, stubbornness kicking in as he leaned closer and pressed his lips against your temple then pulled away. "You're gonna go back to bed, no arguing about it." You whined at his stubbornness and although that made him chuckle, he wasn't going to let up. You pulled a hand from under the blanket, lifting it and grabbing his arm. "No. I'm not giving up that easily, Jason." He bit back a groan at your stubbornness, internally kicking himself for hoping that you'd actually give in to his demand. You sat up slowly and let go of his arm as you reached over to the end table on your side, grabbing your phone.

It was still early in the morning and Jason clearly wasn't having a good night so far. "Jay, it's 4:37 A.M." He groans at the observation and leaning back against the headboard. "I know, Genius..." He grumbles, looking away from you completely. "You're welcome." You mumble, now going through your phone. A few seconds of silence go by before the room is filled with soft music from your phone.

"I softly say, a silent prayer like dreamers do"

He glances over to you, the song playing as you set your phone back onto the end table. "Music?" You nod, looking at Jason. "Why not? Might help you sleep." "Not really my type of music." "Too bad, you've got to deal with it since it's my choice." You lay back down, scooting over to him and throwing an arm over his hips, burying your face into the side of his thigh. "Who's the artist?" "Roy Orbison." He nods his head slowly, the name not sounding familiar to him. "Melancholy as hell though." He added, looking down at you and resting his hand on the back of your head. "Mm." Your eyes flutter closed, the soft tempo of the song starting to lull you back to sleep.

"In dreams, you're mine all of the time"

He leans his head back. Taking in the lyrics and how somber they are. "Actually, they are kinda peaceful." He whispers, his fingers running through your hair. "Except for the "Candy-colored clown" bit... That part doesn't sound all peaceful to me." A light scoff comes from Jason as he stares at the bedroom door and feeling his eyelids become heavier as the song continues to play.

"In beautiful dreams"

He blinks a few times as a wave of sleepiness crashes over him but he pulls himself back and gently pulls your arm from his hips. You make a small noise of protest as he lays down, pulling you into his arms once he's laying on his right side. You sigh in content, relaxing again and peacefully resting as Jason's eyelids close. The melody of the song coaxes him into a dreamless sleep.

[twdmusicboxmystery]

FTWD 6x12 - In Dreams

Wow! This episode was Amazing! As I told my fellow theorists, this is one of those episodes, much like TWD 10x18, Find Me, that’s kinda gonna be a holy grail of TD symbolism. So buckle up! There’s a lot here to unpack. 

***As always, spoilers for FTWD 6x12 abound below. Don’t read until you’ve watched!***

This episode really was amazing, but also super-sad. While obviously it’s extremely tragic the baby didn’t make it, I will say that I’m glad Grace isn’t leaving the show just yet. It was amazing for the symbolism but also for the masterful storytelling. I got to a point at the end where I was trying to decide which ending they were going for (whether Grace would live or die) but the truth was actually a third outcome I totally didn’t see coming. I write fiction myself and so it’s really hard to take me by surprise, but this episode did it. 

First and foremost, this episode is really great evidence that Leah is a hallucination and/or dream. I know I’ve posted about how we think the bright and somewhat fuzzy colors show that. But let me illustrate. Here’s is a pic from 10x17 of Daryl and Maggie in the woods. Just take note of the greens and browns. This is the filter they generally use in TWD and it’s not hugely saturated with color. That’s on purpose because it’s a post-apocalyptic world and they want it to feel bleak.

Compare that pic to the one below it from Find Me. See the difference?

Well, same thing in this episode about Grace. Here, they tell us flat out and pretty early that it’s not real. So they aren’t trying to trick us like they did in 10x18. So, this is evidence (if not proof in my book) because if the colors look like this and it’s a dream/hallucination for Grace, then it must be for Daryl, too, right?

Okay, but let’s get to specifics. First off, Roy Orbison. We’ve seen/heard references to him SO often, and usually in conjunction with Beth symbolism. Pretty much this entire episode centers around his song, In Dreams.

Not only is there the saturation of the colors, but there is tons of PINK. (Pink Theory).

So Grace wakes up in the middle of the woods, and already, things feel ethereal.

I didn’t even realize it at first, but she’s lying on her back and sees birds flying in circles above her. Just like Beth and Daryl in Inmates. 

A walker attacks her, and both it’s arms end up breaking. We saw that very recently in the Aaron/Father Gabriel episode (10x19). We’re not entirely sure what it means yet, but forearms symbolism has been a thing, in different iterations, for a while. So, that’s one we’re working on understanding.

She meets a young woman named Athena (who we’ve looked into before for various reasons; for one thing, the owl a symbol of Athena, and that’s definitely been a TD symbol in the past).

Athena asks her if she can remember her name, and Grace can’t. This is reminiscent of Dawn asking Beth at Grady if she can remember her name.

When Grace stands up, she pulls her sweater up over her shoulder. Even though this isn’t a romantic situation, it reminded me SO much of when Beth did it in 4x01 after hugging Daryl. And given the bright yellowness of the sweater? Yeah, she’s definitely a Beth proxy. 

In the opening credits, we see Grace, but just for a moment, there’s an overlay of Athena over top of her. We see her walking stick clearly, but then she disappears. I noticed that when I first watched it, and rewound, trying to understand what it was, but of course I didn’t until I watched the episode.

Speaking of Athena’s stick, @wdway did some research because she thought it looked similar to sticks the blind use to guide them. Check this out. 

So, clearly Athena isn’t using it that way, but the theme of being blind is there. I’ll talk more about this later, but we see several walkers get stabbed through one eye, which both suggests blindness and is part of the Sirius/one eye symbolism. The “blind” walking stick is just another way to show this same theme.

Athena takes her back to Morgan’s community, and we quickly learn that it’s been 16 years since the last episode, and Athena is actually Grace’s unborn child. So clearly, this is a dream or vision of some kind.

She had to convince Morgan of who she is, which she eventually does.

So, here’s the thing. I, for one, am very focused on what foreshadows Beth, right? And there is TONS of dialogue in this episode that could potentially be applied to her.

For example, in this scene, Morgan says, “You can’t be here.” Grace: “Why?” And then it just shows her grave stone. Morgan says, “I buried you myself.”

Now, we don’t think Daryl actually buried Beth, but he tried at a white church. (X). However, the idea of Daryl saying something like this, (You can’t be here. You’re dead.) works very well.

Later in the same scene, Grace says, “people don’t get what they wish for.” To which Morgan replies, “Sometimes things happen that you just can’t explain.” It reminded me of something Dwight said back in S4/S5 when he was still looking for Sherry. He says, “impossible shit happens.” He was referring to him finding Sherry again, which he did. This was referring to Morgan seeing Grace again after he thought she’d died. Which he also did (even if it was just in her dream). Although, it definitely gave the impression that maybe she did die for a few minutes in the barn before he resuscitated her. So, you could argue that that aspect of her dream came true.

I had to chuckle when June showed up to check her out. She literally checks her eyes and says she sees no sign of brain injury. Um, yeah. Brain injury CAN show up in the eyes, but just because it doesn’t, doesn’t mean she doesn’t have one. Clearly, they didn’t want to use screen time to show June do an entire, thorough check of Grace, but there was a little bit of medical unreality here. Of course, you could argue that this is Grace’s dream and she’s not a doctor, so she wouldn’t have known better.

But more to the point, they mention a concussion (which Edwards said Beth had), traumatic brain injury (which Beth sustained in Coda) and then combine it with Grace not remembering her name at the beginning, and the unrealities of Carol’s recovery at Grady in S5, and I’d say this is a very on-the-nose replay of Grady. 

We see a really sweet future where Strand and Daniel are friends and Sherry and Dwight are not only back together, but have two kids. A baby girl named Tina (Sherry’s sister who died in TWD S6 and, might I add, was a Beth proxy) and a little boy named John after John Dorie. Very sweet.

But I was thinking while watching it that chances are, none of that will actually happen. And I was thinking about it from an outside-the-story aspect. They’re already talking about people from Fear crossing back over to main TWD. And I don’t necessarily think we’ll see it in S11, but probably in the spinoff. So, I feel like this community Morgan is building will go down at some point.

And that doesn’t mean Dwight and Sherry won’t get back together. I actually think they will. I’m just saying it won’t happen exactly as Grace saw it in her dream. Compare it to Carl’s dream of the future during S8, before he died. Certain aspects of that have or will come true, but he won’t live to see it. So not all of it will. See what I mean?

And then the showrunner kind of confirmed this during the “inside the episode.” He said what Grace saw was just a dream and none of it was actually going to come to pass. ☹

Grace then asks Morgan how he managed to build the community and bring everyone together. He answers that it was Athena. Because they lost Grace, everyone rallied around her child and that’s what kept everyone together.

I actually think we saw this theme somewhat in 5b. After they lost Beth (and Tyreese) everyone sort of rallied around Judith, who was still a baby. I had an idea while watching the beginning of the episode that Grace = Beth and Athena = Judith. Now, Athena doesn’t survive, so I’m not sure how far I can push that. But it’s still interesting to think about.

This walker is an interesting one. We could really go down a rabbit hole iwth it. First off, there’s the shirt that says, “don’t mess with Texas.” As I’ve been talking about Eugene lately, I’m sure you’ll recognize the Texas/New Mexico/western theme.

The missing eye is sirius symbolism. But the glasses make me think of two specific walkers we saw in the past. The woman in the food bank that father Gabriel had a relationship with, 

and also this one that Glenn and Nicholas saw. You know, right before Glenn’s death fake out. 

I won’t go into what they both mean in detail. I’m sure it’s enough to say that both walkers, in both situations, are Beth proxies of one sort or another. 

And I’m sure we should be reading into the fact that it comes on a loop. They see/kill it over and over again as Grace becomes “awake” in her dream.

Of course, Athena has a Walkman and listens to music all the time. I’m sure I don’t have to explain that one. But what really caught my ear was the part where Morgan turned it off in the real world and in the dream, Athena said, “You broke it.” Very similar to the music box being broken in 5x10.

And then Grace says she didn’t break it. Morgan just turned it off. I’m seeing that as a hint that Beth was never dead. Just sleeping. When she finally starts connecting all the dots, Grace has lots of interesting lines that could apply to Beth, or could also apply to the Daryl/Leah situation.

“I’m unconscious.” (Beth)

“It’s just fragments of different memories. Things I’ve thought about. My brain is trying to make sense of it all.” (Daryl/Leah).

At one point, Grace tells Athena she is strong (Beth’s “I am strong,”) and that she’ll bring everyone together. Bring everyone hope.

Seriously, EVERY line of dialogue in this episode jumped out at me in some way.

Let me back up a minute. When we see the car with the “end is the beginning” graffiti on it, the trunk is open, which is significant.

Grace also talks about how she was on the highway with Morgan, and they saw this car, and there was an explosion.

Now, we’ve never talked much about anything like this with Beth because we don’t have tons of evidence for it. But I do remember that spoilers (the same ones that reported seeing her at the white cabin during S5 filming) mentioned a car chase near Terminus, and we never saw that, either. So, I think it’s possible something like this might happen during the missing 17 days. Just speculation on my part, though.

Also a major “wake up” theme here. I mentioned this about a week ago HERE when I did a bunch of mini rewatches. The symbolism of what’s real vs what’s a dream has actually been very prevalent throughout the entire series. I just don’t think TD homed in on it until the Leah episode just recently.

We heard it clear back in ep 1 with Rick. We saw it with Denise just before she died. And we saw Beth’s eyes flutter open at Grady when she “woke up,” so it’s safe to say this can be applied to Beth.

Morgan says repeatedly to Grace that she needs to wake up. Once she realizes she’s unconscious, she repeats it many times as well. “I need to wake up.”

In terms of how this might speak to Leah being a hallucination for Daryl, consider this. Grace is inside her hallucination, and she says things like this:

“I’m unconscious.” “This isn’t real.” “It’s in my head. Fragments of different memories…” Yeah, that’s what we’ve been saying about 10x18 for weeks.

Grace’s hallucination represents the future she hopes will come to pass, but what she actually sees is an amalgamation of people she knows and memories she has. Her brain just fills in the blanks.

By the same token, Leah represents something Daryl wants (not to be alone anymore) but she’s an amalgamation of past experiences and people he knows in real life. (Rick, Carol, and especially Beth.)

Then we have the white horse symbol. This is something we’ve known for a long time. It’s the black/white theme, but we saw a white horse and a “you’re still alive” sign near Morgan in 6x16. Rick also rode a white horse in 9x05, just before he didn’t actually die. So the white horse represents someone living.

Interestingly, the first time she sees the white horse, it’s a picture hanging in the air, apparently from nothing. But it reminds me a lot of the plate glass windows we see hanging from the trees during S8/AOW. 

Grace and Athena rode one to the barn where Grace lived and sort of reunited with Morgan. And yes, it’s a little bit sneaky, because both Athena and Grace were on the horse, and Athena didn’t make it. It was hard to tell which one it would apply to. But that’s exactly how the writers keep us guessing. It’s why we don’t usually know things for sure until we can see them in hind sight.

But in this case, we could have guessed Grace would live because of that horse. More on that in minute.

When Riley shows up in the hallucination, Grace kills him and realizes Athena represents her real baby and can feel the contractions too. She has an interesting line. “I was wrong. You are real. It’s the only thing that makes sense. We’re connected.”

This is the kind of line that jumps out at me as a foreshadow of Beth. For years, we’ve wondered if Daryl will see Beth and think he’s hallucinating. In the wake of the Leah episode, I suspect this more than ever. Especially if at some point, he realizes Leah isn’t real, when he sees Beth, he won’t trust his own eyes and his own mind. So this line could apply to some future storyline.

Of course Grace says things like, “I need to wake up so you can be born.” “I need to wake up so you’re all right.” I was writing so fast, my hand was cramping, lol.

While riding the white horse, they cross a small bridge, which is clearly symbolic. But I also noticed that Grace passed the truck we saw her driving around last season. In the cab is a walker in a radiation suit and a radiation detector (I’m sure there’s a more official name for that, lol).

It gave me a new perspective on the cars. While I’m sure they represent many things, they represent things that have happened in the characters’ pasts. And that works well for everything we’ve always said, because it means when Daryl sees a blond walker in a car, it’s all about his past. And Beth.

There’s a moment when Grace actually seems to die. She stops breathing and appears to be dead, even in the dream.

Couple of things here. 1) I’ve said for years that Beth may have truly, medically died for a short time period. As in, her heart stopped before restarting. That would be a sneaky way to fulfill all the “death” symbolism around her but have her still live/resurrect. This may be evidence of that. 2) Did you see everything run backward? It’s at this part when Grace stops breathing, we see everything run in backward motion for about 30 seconds. Almost as though they need to rewind or reset to get the story back on the right track.

The key. I guess we should talk about the key. Very interesting stuff. As per this episode, the key represents the cost of peace. And they talked about it being the future.

Remember back in S8, there was an episode called “The Key to the Future.” So this is a repeated theme. But we’ve seen keys around Beth for a long time, especially at Grady. It kept showing keys being used to open doors in order to get Rick and Daryl in to do the prisoner exchange.

So, here’s what I’m thinking for this. I think the cost of peace was Beth being shot. We’ve thought for a long time that Beth will save TF in some way. Probably during the CRM war or maybe in some way that has nothing to do with war (i.e. famine or lack of water).

We don’t know how that will play out, yet. But if key = cost of peace, then seeing keys at Grady probably shows that the cost of saving TF down the road is Beth getting shot. It went the way it had to. The way it was always going to. So she could save them.

@frangipanilove likes to say that Fear functions as our key (like the kind you find on a map) to understanding TD symbolism. And this is a good example. They told us what the key symbol stands for and it makes other things we’ve seen and theorized make sense.

In a more literal, plot-related sense, Riley also said, “That key is going to change everything.”

And, I don’t actually think it’s a good thing that they gave it away. I think Grace’s logic in the moment was absolutely sound. The baby was going to be the Savior. And the baby’s strength would supplant whatever advantage that key gave whoever has it.

But the baby, tragically, died. So…they probably need to get that key back.

Also interesting to note that back in S8, the book “A Key to a Future” was about building windmills and water aqueducts. Major water symbols, and once again, water = Beth. 

Speaking of the baby as savior, that’s definitely a theme, as I described above. The people rallied around her in Grace’s dream and she kind of saved everyone just by living.

@wdway pointed out that Grace giving birth in a barn on top of hay gives it a manger feel, which is probably what they were going for.

So, Athena, in the dream, is also something of a proxy for Beth.

When they enter the barn, we see something super interesting. There’s a walker point up at a cage with a dove in it. The walker doesn’t even try to get them when they enter, but that’s because it’s Grace’s dream. But this is SUCH a potent TD symbol. A bird in a cage = imprisonment. And there was an empty bird cage in Beth’s cell in 4x01, as well as near Connie just before she disappeared. 

We also think it was probably a dove (you can hear it cooing). So with the manger motif as she gives birth, from a biblical symbolism standpoint, a dove makes sense. The dove generally represents the Holy Spirit branchy of the Trinity. 

Just a super interesting symbol and, to me, it shows that this is all tied up in Beth symbolism, and that the person they’re foreshadowing here is the person who’s been imprisoned for a long time. The person who had the bird cage in her cell. 

I also think we need to appreciate that Grace had a dream that made her believe one thing was true (that she would die and the baby would live). But in reality, the opposite was true. We’ve come up with considerable evidence that Beth lived. But Daryl believes that she died. And the exact opposite will end up being true. They also tried really hard to convince us in this episode that Grace would die. We saw her accepting it and acting accordingly. Similarly, they’ve tried really hard to convince us that Beth really died. We’ve seen all the characters accept it and act accordingly. 

So, I said above that we saw several walkers get it in the eye, right? One of the sequences I noticed the second or third time through that I watched it, was when, in the dream, Walker Riley has Athena pinned against the wall. He was the first one to say, “I know you thought this would be different, but that was just a dream.” 

So, what I noticed is that he said this, at the exact same time that Grace stopped breathing or “died” and then suddenly revived. And directly after Riley said this, he got a stake through the eye when Morgan showed up. 

So we have this “dream” symbolism, Grace dying and then resurrecting and the eye/Sirius symbolism all within a few seconds of each other. It’s a very compelling and powerful scene. Maybe my favorite of the episode. I’ve watched it like a thousand times, lol. 

And of course there’s that heartbreaking, repeated line, “I [know you] thought this would end differently. But that was just a dream.” First, walker-Riley (super cool walker effect, btw) said it to Athena in the Grace’s dream. Then she said it while holding her deceased baby.

More lines that jumped out at me near the end, and could possibly apply to Beth and Daryl:

“You found us.” (Athena says this to Morgan when he shows up to kill Riley in the dream.)

“He’s here for me.” Grace says this when Morgan shows up and takes her hand.

Grace: “I don’t want to say goodbye, but I have to.” Beth hating goodbyes and not wanting to say them.

When Morgan is trying to revive Grace, he says, “Stay with me. Come back.” (Geez, if Daryl says anything like this during those missing 17 days, it’s gonna be freaking heartbreaking.)

When she wakes up, he says, “Good morning. You’re awake. You’re awake.” So there’s that awake/wake up theme again. But the “good morning” is interesting, too. It may be morning time as this scene is playing out, but we didn’t actually see them go from night to morning. 

We’ve said for years that the sunrise represents Beth and a new beginning, so that “good morning” line is highly symbolic of a new era in which Beth lives.

He also says, “I thought I lost you.” *coughs Daryl*

Grace replies, “I had to come back so Athena could be born.” And again, I really don’t think Beth will be pregnant when she shows up, but baby Athena represents the way in which she’ll save TF. Because Athena was supposed to be the Savior here.

“We don’t have much time,” is repeated two or three times. So that’s a time mention, but also probably foreshadows a future storyline where they’re up against a countdown clock in some way. 

“I had to come back.” Tell me you aren’t thinking of Beth when listening to that line. 

“The key is not the future. She is.” Okay, my fellow theorists and I have discussed that the child who will save the future may well be Judith. In that sense, Judith may be Athena, but that still leaves Grace = Beth. And hearing this line, I just can’t help but replace “she” with Beth. 

When Morgan asks Riley what the key opens, Riley says, “it doesn’t matter.” Also a Beth theme from Grady. 

And finally, after Riley takes it, he says, “Good luck.” Luck Theory. 

Phew. Quite a few of those, right? 

Side note: one of the reasons I really didn’t know if Grace would live or die, as I mentioned above, is that they were really trying to convince us she would, but a lot of what was said could be seen as dialogue foreshadow. 

That could be a problem for some of our theories. But here’s the thing. Going back through it again, the writers were super-sneaky. Most of it could be quantified differently than it came across. For example, Grace says to Morgan, “I don’t THINK I’m going to survive this.” Not that she absolutely won’t. See what they did there? I’m just pointing out.

Finally, I want to mention a few more things the show runner said in his interview at the end. 

First, in talking about Athena, he said they wanted to make her a very strong, together girl, so it was obvious she came from Grace and was trained and raised by Morgan. It just reminded me a lot of what they said about Beth after Still. The whole, “raised by Hershel, trained by Daryl, meet the new Beth Greene.” Athena gave off that vibe for sure, but the showrunner used almost the exact same words to describe her. Definitely side-eyeing that. 

He also talked about how they purposely crafted the “dream” so that it wasn’t only a dream that Grace was a passive participant in. Parts of it had to be real and have real world implications so she was driven by a ticking time bomb. For her, in this episode, it was because her baby was coming and she needed to wake up to give birth.

I just mention it because I can’t help but wonder what implications this will have for the Daryl/Leah situation. 

I think that’s what I have for this episode. But man, what a crazy, tragic, epic, awesome episode! Loved it. (And hey, they owed us a big one after killing off John a few weeks ago. ;D)

[thiswasinevitableid]

“Listen you need to dance with me right now” pairing and scenario of your choice

Here you go! I went with Indruck and a college-ish AU

“Listen, you need to dance with me right now”

Duck turns around in the black pleather booth and finds a man about his age, silvery hair tousled out at odd angles and red glasses perched on his nose, smiling at him nervously. 

“Not beatin around the bush are you?” He smirks.

“Huh? Oh, ah, this is not a flirtation attempt, Ah, that is, not that you are unappealing, just, nevermind, this was foolish.”

He turns away, and Duck grabs his elbow, “whoah, hey, didn’t say I wasn’t interested. Not about to turn down a dance from a cute guy.”

Tension drains from the man’s shoulders as Duck stands leads them towards the strobing light of the dance floor, “Thank goodness. Wait, what did you say?”

“I said” Duck pulls him close as the current song winds down, “I think you’re cute, sugar.”

“There’s no need to pretend that’s true. As I said, this isn’t about flirtation.” 

“Then what is it about?”

His new friend thinks as the tempo grinds down to slow beat, couples flowing on and off the floor around them. It’s the kind of gay bar where anyone who falls under the rainbow banner can go to look for a partner. Duck himself is on the hunt for something to banish the taste of a bad break-up from his mouth. 

His original plan for the night involved sitting in the dark in his bedroom, watching nature documentaries until he no longer felt the dull heartbreak oozing in his chest. But Juno, his roommate, insisted he come with her for a night on the town.  So he’d settled on a new plan: get laid by someone who likes hairy guys with some fat on top of their muscle in hopes of not remembering all his insecurities, ones drilled deeper under his skin by his exes parting words. 

The man currently holding his hands with all the confidence of a freshman at their first homecoming dance hadn’t been on his radar until a minute ago. For the life of him, Duck can’t figure out why. Sure, he’s weird and messy, but he’s so singular looking Duck’s amazed everyone in the room isn’t trying to cut in.

“It’s about keeping you safe.” The man whispers, jarring him from his thoughts, their proximity the only reason Duck can hear him over the music. 

“Come again?”

“Do you see that gentleman who just walked in?”

Duck turns them in time to see a blonde man with the build of a water-polo player enter the bar.

“Mr. Salmon T-shirt?”

“Correct. Had you not danced with me, there was a high chance he would ask you instead. All would have gone well until you two decided to use the back alley for some, um, quick relief to the fact you were both very turned on. It would be at this point that he would try something you did not want, you’d push him away, and he would punch you before slinking back inside. I assumed you’d prefer not to end your night with a black eye.”

“Got that right. So if you’re dancin’ with me for my own good, what happens to him?” 

The man’s face goes worryingly blank, then he shakes his head as if clearing it, “he gets very drunk very quickly, starts spouting unkind words at Joseph over there and promptly gets bounced by the bartender.”

Duck snorts, “that’s what he gets for talkin shit near Barclay. Think the only thing that actually makes that man mad is when someone is rude about his boyfriend.”

“That’s my experience as well.”

“You know Barclay too? I mean, not just as a bartender?”

“Correct. You know how he has someone living in a trailer on his land?”

“Yeah? Wait, holy shit, you’re Indrid?”

A nod.

“I’ll be damned, Dani kept sayin she wanted to introduce us. I’m-”

“Duck Newton.” Indrid says along with him.

Okay, that was a little weird. 

“Y’know, s’okay if you actually hold onto me while you’re apparently savin me a fight.”

Indrid presses closer, but his hold on Duck is still light, as if he’s afraid of trapping him. A happy sigh drifts between them.

“You’re so warm. It’s very nice.” Indrid murmurs

Duck draws Indrid’s hand close to his mouth, blowing across the chilly fingers. Another sigh, Indrid actually curling his arm around Duck’s shoulders. He seems to relax when Duck talks, so he says the first thing he can think of.

“You’re in the art grad program, right?”

“Indeed. You’re in forestry, yes?”

“Yep.”

“Fascinating.”

“That ain’t the usual reaction.” Duck smiles up at him, “Once you start talking about tree taxonomy or forest health, people’s eyes start glazin over.”

Indrid cocks his head, “How does one measure the health of something as complex as a forest?”

And so Duck spends two songs explaining the answer, Indrid listening attentively and asking questions. Thank god the DJ is in a slow jam mood, so he doesn’t have to shout about pest control over some sort of horrible, rapid bass-line.  Not wanting to be rude, he spends song number three asking Indrid about how he chose illustration as his focus in his art program.

By the end of the song, Indrid’s left hand has slipped into Duck’s back pocket, and Duck knows he won’t be interested int dancing with anyone else for the rest of the night.

He gives his best sweet southern boy grin and nuzzles Indrid’s cheek. 

“Gotta say, think you win for creative excuses for askin a guy to dance.”

Indrid deflates and hunches in on himself, his hands dropping from Duck’s body, though he otherwise stays put.

“It’s not an excuse. I was just trying to help.”

“Indrid, how could you possibly know what was gonna happen?”

“I just can!” He snaps, recoiling instantly at the sound, “I can see the future. I’ve always been able to. Not that anyone, save for a few close friends, believes me when I tell them.” He pinches the bridge of his nose, “there are no longer futures where you get punched, so I will leave you alone.”

“Indrid, wait, I’m sorry.” 

“It’s alright, Duck, I’m not upset. Enjoy the rest of your night.” Indrid turns away.

“Do you wanna go grab something to eat?” He thought through the offer for exactly zero seconds, but he knows it’s what he wants the moment he says it. 

Indrid blinks at him, then smiles small and odd, “That was...unexpected.”

Duck holds his breath.

“I accept your offer.” The grin is wider now, to the point that it’s a bit unnerving. Indrid must notice, and forces the smile to a normal size, “where would you like to go?”

Duck takes his hand, leading him out into the night and down the street. There’s a Mel’s Diner standing mostly empty on the corner two blocks away, and they slip inside. Duck orders a burger and fries, Indrid an orange creamsicle shake. The taller man’s fingers drum on the Formica table top.

He waffles on what he wants to say, how much he wants to share.

“Sometimes a glowing blue woman appears in my room.” 

Indrid’s eyebrows shoot to the top of his head, “there was only one future where you admitted that.”

“You actually believe me?”

“Of course. Why would you lie about such a thing?”

“I….I dunno.” Duck shrugs, rubbing his forearm, “tried tellin one or two other people and they looked at me like I was losin it. Been happenin since I turned eighteen, along with these weird vision-y dreams. Gets kinda old.”

“And you’re telling me because you think the fact I see the future makes me more likely to believe you.”

“Yeah. Uh, did you see that comin or just connect the dots?”

“Both. I take it you believe me now?” Indrid fiddles with the drawstring on his sweatshirt.

“Did the second I saw how hurt you looked.  Know exactly what bein on the wrong side of disbelief feels like.” Duck pauses as the server sets down their food, “Let me buy you dinner as an apology?”

“Gladly.” Indrid sips his milkshake, and Duck freezes mid-bite at the way his cheeks hollow and the little sigh of pleasure he lets out.

Indrid catches him staring, and licks his lips with a smirk. Duck hides behind his burger. 

“So, uh, why were you at the bar?”

“Bear hunting.” Indrid deadpans. It’s only when a blush splashes up Duck’s cheeks that he breaks into a smile, “I’m kidding. Mostly. I’ve been trying to get out more. I can be a bit reclusive, as I like my privacy and my hobbies and coursework are all solitary. You?”

“Gettin over an ex.” He shoves fries into his mouth, not quite ready to say more. Somehow that topic is even more intimidating than revealing his weird powers. Indrid nods in understanding, polishing off the first half of his shake with terrifying speed. Roy Orbison wails “Only the Lonely” from the Jukebox.

“Hardly the music for it. Hmm” Indrid flips through the options on the table-side music selector. The pink and blue neon flashes through the window and along the angles of his face. He looks so ethereal.

Duck is so screwed.

“Ah, here we are.” Indrid digs into his pocket, pulling out a quarter and dropping it into the machine. 

After a few moments, a voice croons from the speakers.

Love me tender, love me sweet

“Fan of the classics, huh?” Duck rests his elbow on the table and his cheek in his palm.

“I find Elvis and his contemporaries pleasant to draw to.”

“Know what else they’re good for?” Duck bounces his eyebrows. 

“Yes, but I want to hear you say it anyway.”

Duck slides out of the booth, holds out his hand, “Dance with me?”

Indrid takes it, and this time he doesn’t hesitate. His arms drape around Duck, and his head nestles onto his shoulder.

Duck sways them in time with the song, arms around Indrid’s waist. 

“Indrid?”

“Hmm?”

“I meant what I said earlier. About you bein cute. And I really like talkin with you. Would you, uh, wanna go on a date sometime?”

Chapped lips find the base of his neck, and Indrid kisses a slow line up until they’re gazing at each other. 

“Nothing would make me happier, Duck.”

Duck draws his fingers along Indrid’s face, leans in and kisses him in time with the fading melody.

“In that case, sugar, how about you and I go dancing tomorrow night?”

[lumonicsgallery]

“I may be a living legend, but that sure don't help when I've got to change a flat tire.” “I close my eyes, then I drift away, into the magic night I softly say. A silent prayer, like dreamers do, then I fall asleep to dream my dreams of you.” - Roy Orbison (April 23, 1936 – Dec 6, 1988) ----- “I was always fishing for something on the radio. Just like trains and bells, it was part of the soundtrack of my life. I moved the dial up and down and Roy Orbison’s voice came blasting out of the small speakers. His new song, “Running Scared,” exploded into the room. Orbison, though, transcended all the genres – folk, country, rock and roll or just about anything. His stuff mixed all the styles and some that hadn’t even been invented yet. He could sound mean and nasty on one line and then sing in a falsetto voice like Frankie Valli in the next. With Roy, you didn’t know if you were listening to mariachi or opera. He kept you on your toes. With him, it was all about fat and blood. He sounded like he was singing from an Olympian mountaintop and he meant business. One of his previous songs, “Ooby Dooby” was deceptively simple, but Roy had progressed. He was now singing his compositions in three or four octaves that made you want to drive your car over a cliff. He sang like a professional criminal. Typically, he’d start out in some low, barely audible range, stay there a while and then astonishingly slip into histrionics. His voice could jar a corpse, always leave you muttering to yourself something like, “Man, I don’t believe it.” His songs had songs within songs. They shifted from major to minor key without any logic. Orbison was deadly serious – no pollywog and no fledgling juvenile. There wasn’t anything else on the radio like him.” ― Bob Dylan, Chronicles, Vol. 1 courtesy of Goodreads #RoyOrbison #bobdylan    Lumonics is a performance space, gallery, sculpture studio, and art school based in Denver. It is among the first and longest-running light art studios in the US, beginning in 1967. _____ Visit our new #LumonicsGallery Instagram page, devoted to Lumonics art (at Lumonics Light & Sound Gallery) https://www.instagram.com/p/B_WbCGClpQm/?igshid=1j5j8zpz9g5av

[noiseartists]

KNOW (USA): A mesmerizing new Lo-fi Dream Pop feel

KNOW is a new alternative band based in Los Angeles. The line-up is Husband and wife Jennifer Farmer and Daniel Knowles. You may know Daniel as a former member of Amusement Park On Fire (see our article).

Their music is a beauty of dream pop, sparkled with catchy melodies and clever sound.

Their music work to date is:

2019: 143, single

2020: Hold me like you know me, single (with a superb Music Video)

They are working on their first album and we can not as the first 2 singles are amazing. Discover the band and their music in this interview full of photos and music links to enter their musical realm.

Who are the group members?

JENNIFER: We are a husband and wife duo, Daniel Knowles and Jennifer Farmer. Dan does all of the recording, production, mixing/mastering and plays everything on the recordings. I sing and write lyrics.

How did you meet?

JENNIFER: We actually met when Dan’s old band, Amusement Parks on Fire was recording “Road Eyes” in Los Angeles. We had a lot of mutual friends and my friend Dave, who was in Film School at the time and now in a band called Nightmare Air, introduced me to APOF! Dan had broken his arm during the recording process and I had recently quit my job so we ended up having quite a bit of time for each other it turns out! 

How did you come up with your name?

JENNIFER: I came up with it, Dan says he doesn’t remember this being the case but It’s just our last name “Knowles” minus the “LES.” I wanted it to just be KNOW and not “THE Know” but there was someone else using that at the time. We considered changing it last minute because it’s a very un-google-able and generic band name, but we couldn’t come up with anything else and I couldn’t bear to spell it “The Knovv” so we just kept it.  If you want to find us, the best way is to google “wearetheknow” :) Probably would have been better off calling it "Japanese Beach Wavves"

What is your music about?

JENNIFER: A lot of our songs are personal. Stories about our relationship or our lives. There are a lot of specific details in the lyrics that are meaningful to us. For instance, in "143" the line "Emmy's broke but Gram's in town" - Emmy and Gram are our dogs (named after Emmylou Harris and Gram Parsons.)  

What are your goals as an artist artistically/commercially?

JENNIFER: Obviously, it would be great to do this as a full-time career but we are nowhere near that point yet. I’d love to just really hone in on my vocal and songwriting skills and enjoy the process. Telling stories through lyrics and visuals are really important to me. Maybe David Lynch having us on Twin Peaks?! 

What are you trying to avoid as a band?

JENNIFER: Boring Ourselves

Why do you make the music you make? Is it in you? Is it your environment?

JENNIFER: I’m pretty private about my personal life so it’s therapeutic to let some of that inner monologue out. I happen to have an amazing collaborator & husband by my side that makes it fun and easy.

What inspire you for the music or for the Lyrics?

JENNIFER: PERSONAL LIFE EXPERIENCES, CRATE DIGGING.

Tell us what you are looking when trying to achieve your sounds. Do you experiment a lot or have a clear idea of what you want?

DAN: A little of both, I know what I like and don't like, I certainly appreciate sounds that register as something a little out there to me. It generally starts with experimenting.  I've had people comment about the keyboard sounds on 143 to me which is funny because 90% of the sounds on that song are guitars that have been heavily processed.  

in general I just chain together and (mis)use effects or recording techniques until I hear something that interests me, once I do that becomes a part of the "sound" of the song.  The way I have to play the guitar is also often informed by the sound itself and once I have one thing in place that interests me the rest tends to follow fairly logically.  I used to layer a lot more sounds together to get a kind of smudged nondescript dense wall but these days I'm favoring finding just a few sounds that interest me, letting them lead the way and keeping the layering to a minimum

Explain your songwriting process.

DAN: There's been no one way, we just start somewhere and keep working until, for better or worse, it seems like we're done.  The starting point is usually a chord change or sound I find interesting or a few lines and basic melody line Jennifer has sketched out.  We then record pieces of it, see what we have and get on with it.  If all else fails turn to Bran Eno's oblique strategies cards

Describe your palette of sound.

DAN:  Guitars that sound like keyboards, keyboards that sound like guitars, open tunings, lots of effects chaining, reverb and distortion both play a part obviously, tuning and timing errors are welcome, I own some beaten up toms and a crappy snare so we usually play basic beats with them then heavily process them for a kind of Moe Tucker in the 80's sound!  In general I like messy sounds, nothing too carved out and cleanly placed, things that overlap and smudge, contrasts between Hi Fi and Lo Fi etc

Who would you want as a dream producer, and why?

JENNIFER: Already have mine and he’s in the band!! 

DAN: David Lynch or Tom Waits

What musical skills would you like to acquire or get better at?

JENNIFER: I actually CANNOT for the life of me play the tambourine. It makes NO sense to me so I’d like to learn how to do that. 

DAN: I'm always impressed by a good Marimbist

Which other musician/artist would you date?

JENNIFER: The guy in my band who is the dreamiest and most talented of them all! :) 

Is there a band that if they didn’t exist you wouldn’t be making the music you make?

JENNIFER: Giant Drag. I think I mostly learned to sing by listening to Hearts & Unicorns on repeat for like 2 years. Annie later became a good friend and is the one who encouraged me to start singing for real.

If you could guest on someone else’s album, who would it be and why? What would you play?

JENNIFER: We love The National and they have a lot of female singers they collaborate with so that'd be kind of cool! It'd be cool to do something with Jesus & Mary Chain too. Giant Drag opened for them once and Annie got to sing Just Like Honey with them!

DAN: David Lynch or Tom Waits.  I'd play whatever they told me to.

You are from US/UK what are the advantages and inconvenient?

JENNIFER: We’re based in LA and Dan is from the UK. I think there are definitely more advantages than disadvantages to being in a major music city. The music industry is pretty much based in LA.

What are some places around the world that you hope to play with your band?

JENNIFER : It would be cool to play in my hometown, in Houston Texas since all of my family is there. Also, would love to tour Europe - they have some of the best festivals. I’d love to go back to Tokyo some day too.

When is the next album/EP due?

JENNIFER: We don’t have an exact date yet but SOON! March/April. 

Some artists you recommend.

JENNIFER: Cults have a new record coming out and I’m really excited, huge fan of theirs! Also, been into Agnes Obel lately who has a record out soon. New FKA Twigs is great. Someone recently sent me Orville Peck and said he sounded like us with Roy Orbison on vocals. Fairly accurate and I dig it.

Anything else you want your fans to know?

We have a limited edition vinyl pre-sale our EP up on our website: www.wearetheknow.com and will have a limited edition CD available through Shoredive Records soon!

MORE ON THE BAND

You can listen to them there:

Spotify

Soundcloud

Youtube

Bandcamp

Their social media:

Band’s website

Instagram

Facebook

Twitter

[mrsrcbinscn]

BDRPWriMo Task #16: TV Soundtrack

Task:  Jukebox Musical/TV or Movie Soundtrack - come up with a playlist of at least 10 songs, write a scene summary to go with each one.

AU: The Robinsons is a hit multigenerational Netflix show featuring an ensemble cast, chronicling the lives of main couple Franny and Cornelius Robinson from childhood all the way through their marriage, and the lives of their families. Rated TV-14 some episodes, but some have mature content rated MA.

These aren’t in chronological order, I was too lazy to fix everything because the ideas came to me out of order.

tw: violence, marijuana use, underage drinking (in the US anyway), abuse of prescription medication (ADHD meds), mentions of abortion (a side character), sexual themes, car accident

tagging my husband because lots of these involve him @nottomsellecksorry

[ooc: these events all happened, just obv not with cool background music]

Episode Title: Song

1. The Mugshot: Oh, Pretty Woman by Roy Orbison

(Inspired by the use of Istanbul in the diner fight scene in The Umbrella Academy)

Background: Since the beginning of the series, Franny Robinson has had a framed mugshot of herself throwing up the rock n’ roll hand gesture with a cut on her face on the wall of the Robinson home. This episode is where the mugshot’s origin is revealed.

Franny and Cornelius had only been married for a little over a year when they visited Franny’s parents in Georgia for her mother’s birthday. One night during their stay, they went out drinking in the city (Atlanta) with Franny’s youngest older brother (Art) and a bunch of Franny’s hometown friends. A man at one of the bars, one with a gorgeous outdoor bar, where the scene takes place, wouldn’t leave Franny alone even after she flashed her wedding ring. The situation quickly got heated and before Franny’s brother or friends could step in between them, the man shoved Franny back into a table.

[background noise is edited out in post-production, there is no sound but the sound of glasses falling and shattering on the bar’s patio as Franny looks down at her sandaled feet, now bleeding from glass cutting them a little.]

 And then;

[the first notes of Oh, Pretty Woman]

“He put his hands on me first. He shoved me first, you all saw that, right?” Franny said, holding out and index finger and pointing it at her husband, at her friends, at Art, and at strangers who had long since begun to spectate. 

“He touched me first. So this is self defense.” She said, pulling her hair back into a ponytail before launching herself at him. All five feet five inches of her came at him like a missile and absolutely knocked the crap out of this guy. Her big brother didn’t even need to throw a punch, she had this all on her own.

[Mercy!!] As Franny slams the man’s face onto a table. 

As they were both clearly fighting, both Franny and the man were arrested and taken to the police station, and while they took her mughot, Franny threw up the rock n’ roll gesture with a bored expression.

2. Payne Lake, Georgia: Blue by LeAnn Rimes

Background: Cornelius’s first EVER visit to Franny’s hometown of Payne Lake, Georgia. The first time she introduced him to her family. 

Neil and Franny join some of Franny’s friends at the little town’s bar on karaoke night, they’re hangin’ out, munching on the bar’s specialty - Irish Nachos; waffle fries with melted queso, scallions, ground beef, salsa, and black beans - with her regular hometown crew. But then her high school voice teacher (who is a bartender too because ‘Murica) is like “Franny Framagucci, it is KARAOKE night!!! Sing!!!!”

And Franny’s all like “Noooooo” because Neil’s only heard her sing in musical productions through NYU, or at showcases for jazz studies. So meticulously practiced and critiqued performances. She’d yet to invite him to any open mics she was going to or anything like that. This man thought she was perfect!! ! ! She needed to make sure he kept that myth as truth. 

So Franny was all “no, I simply CAN’T” but then her teacher started chanting ‘sing, sing, sing’ and her friends joined in, and then people around them recognized Franny - small towns, gotta love ‘em - and someone shouted out “Do Blue, Franny!”

“Haha, no way”

“Come ooooon”

“Well, if you inSIST”

When Franny was in high school, she’d learned to yodel to she could knock Blue out of the park to show up some bitch she hated at the county fair. Very South, Much Georgia, wow. So naturally, she stood on stage and rocked Blue in all her Georgia glory in front of her very Yankee boyfriend, exposing her very uncool country bumpkin side to him for the first time.

Except, it only made him think she was even MORE wonderful, he just got even bigger heart eyes than usual. 

3. Am I A Crazy Bitch?: Science vs Romance by Rilo Kiley

Background: Earlier in the episode, Franny had gone off on Cornelius because she was insulted he’d offered to pay for part of her tuition for the upcoming semester so she wouldn’t have to work as much. Because the last episode, he found out she’d been abusing Adderall on a semi-regular basis to be able to stay awake long enough to juggle school, work, a social life, and seeing him. And confronted her about it. So this episode, he was like “let me make it easier for you.” And Franny went off on him because she was A. insulted, and B. so mad at herself, because his response to his girlfriend abusing Adderall shouldn’t be ‘give her money for college.’ He should be!! Disappointed in her!! He should!! Hate her! And she felt disgusted with herself that he didn’t.

SO. 

The song plays while it flips between scenes of 

A. college-aged Franny sitting on the bathroom floor of her apartment smoking weed #hating herself after she went off on Neil before he left for a business trip to Europe. She can be heard muttered “stupid bitch, he’s the best thing that’s ever happened to you” as she moves to straight up laying down on the bathroom tile.

B. scenes of Neil in Berlin; in the back of a car halfheartedly listening to his assistant reading off the agenda for the day, pretending to listen to what his German nerd counterparts are saying as he’s just spaced out and sad, only picking at his food across the table from his assistant

C. Art (Franny’s youngest older brother) typing an e-mail to his parents because he’s too afraid to tell them in person he’s dropping out of university for the second time

D. Sophie (Franny’s mother) sitting alone in the kitchen of the Framagucci home after having woken up from a nightmare about her life under the Khmer Rouge, drinking hot tea 

E. Delia Weiss, one of Franny’s closest college friends and eventually lifelong friend, smoking a cigarette and standing outside of an abortion clinic that opens the next morning, after having found out earlier in the episode she was pregnant with her shitty ex’s baby, hinting to the audience she planned to come back tomorrow to terminate

4. Cambodian Independence Day: I’m A Cuckoo by Belle & Sebastian

Background: Franny, who had up until this point in her life, never cut her hair more than a few inches, was told she would need to bob her hair to star as Millie in NYU’s production of Thoroughly Modern Millie. Long hair is a cultural thing for many Cambodian women and while it didn’t carry too much significance to Franny personally, it very much mattered to her mother, Sophea (”Sophie”). The episode happens to be set on November 9th, which is the day Cambodia became independent from France.

I’m A Cuckoo plays as Franny’s standing in the kitchen of Cornelius’s NYC apartment, scissors in hand, just chopping off her hair that went down to just a couple inches above her tailbone. She keeps repeating, “I’m dead, I’m dead, I’m so dead.” Then says “Mak’s gonna skin my hide alive then use it as a lampshade, Ed Gein style.” 

When Cornelius laughs at her joke she whines, “It’s not funny, I’m serious! When my mother kills me say somethin’ nice about me at the funeral.”

Scene skips ahead to Franny examining her hair in Neil’s bathroom mirror, biting down on her lip and whimpering. He slips his arms around her waist and kisses her cheek, “I think it looks nice.” 

“I’m going to be buried. Alive, most likely.”

“Shh.”

“Mak’s going to kill me, revive me, then kill me again.” *whines* “I look like a Boy Scout.”

*Neil turns her away from the mirror to face him. “You look beautiful.”

“You always say that.”

“It’s always true.”

Aaaaaand some more kissing later, they’re having Hot Sex against the bathroom counter.  They’re horny 20-somethings, what can ya do ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

5 & 6. Am I A Manic Pixie Dream Girl?: I Held Her In My Arms by Violent Femmes // Prove My Love by Violent Femmes

Background: Franny decided to give Cornelius a glimpse into what poor people do for fun. When she couldn’t afford concert tickets, she and her friends both back home and in NYC would go to parking decks overlooking amphitheater venues to see concerts. So she took Neil to a parking deck to watch a Violent Femmes concert - and planned to, for the first time ever, open up about some parts of her life.

I Held Her In My Arms plays and Franny’s dancing, having a great time, and tbh this is sUCH a manic pixie dream girl moment, I’m ashamed. She’s ashamed. God is ashamed.

Fast forward, and she’s back to sitting down, her legs fit under the barrier between the parking deck and the drop to the concrete below, so her feet are comfortably dangling in the air as she-- know what, lemme just copy-paste a selection from our Discord DMs 

mckala 10/26/2019 Oh wow wanna know the first time Franny was Purposely vulnerable in front of him vs. he-caught-her-at-her-worst-moments

mary 10/26/2019 uuhh yes pls, i say knowing i will regret

mckala 10/26/2019 OH the good news is, it's not SUPER sad, but it's #revealing SO

She opens up about how poor her family is, and how much she'd been bullied for being Asian, biracial, having an immigrant mother and Swiss immigrant stepdad and their funny accents, and how she puts all this pressure on herself to succeed since she couldn't be smart in the "right" way (STEM), so she HAS to do well in the arts against all odds to make her parents proud, and to make enough money so that her mom and dad don't have to work past retirement age. "So my mom can enjoy her life after what she went through in Cambodia under the Khmer Rouge."

But she does it...lowkey romantically, like

Franny takes Cornelius to the parking deck overlooking a lil amphitheater concert venue to watch a Violent Femmes concert, and now Franny has like a part-time job while in school so she CAN afford tickets -- and she has a rich boyfriend -- but she purposely took him to the parking deck to listen to the music and at one point she turned to him and said "When I was in middle and high school in Atlanta, we'd do this a lot. It was the only way we could afford to go see live shows."

And then she's like "We were - /are/ poor. Really poor. Not like you." Bc she assumes he was always decently well-off once he was adopted since his mother probably made at least six figures by her estimate. 

And she's monologuing pretty much until her eyes water without her really REALIZING. Just monologues about how much pressure she puts on herself to BE perfect, to BE the best, to not make mistakes because she already made the big mistake of not "Being smart enough to be a doctor, or an engineer, or a lawyer, or half as smart as you."

mary 10/26/2019 oW, my hEART meanwhile neil is just like, "there is no right way to be smart. and you're smarter than me in a million different ways, so we're going to put an end to that line of thinking right here and now." because he didnt look at music as anything other than white noise until she came into his life

mckala 10/26/2019 OHHH MYYYY GOD

SO. They’re all snuggling and kissing for a bit, then at one point Franny’s like “We need to go to the car right now so we can ;)” and he’s not picking up what she’s putting down because he is far less sexperienced than her lmao, so he’s like “...what? Wait, but - oh. OH.”

And Prove My Love plays as Franny gets nerdy, newly sexually active Neil to have sex with her in a his car in a public parking deck, SMH. At [special favors come in thirty-one flavors] the camera pans to Franny’s face as she’s receiving oral ASDFGHJKL; and at [third verse, same as the first] the episode goes to end credits.

7.  I’m Twenty-Two Years Old: I’m Sixteen Years Old by Ros Sereysothea

****TW: CAR ACCIDENT*****

I’m Sixteen is a running musical theme throughout the episode

Background: The previous episode, Franny and the rest of the cast that were NYU students have graduated from NYU. Last episode ended with Franny and Cornelius celebrating her graduation with both of their families, and plenty of nudges from both sets of parents ‘sooo, can we expect a summer wedding, orrrrrr does Franny want to take the summer to think about masters’ programs?’ A lot of Franny and Neil hissing at their mothers ‘Mak/Mom, stoooop’ but earlier that episode Franny and Neil actually talked about getting married next spring, once they figured out whether or not they were staying in New York now that Franny was done with NYU.

The episode I’m Twenty-Two Years Old begins with Franny driving at a comfortable five over the speed limit on the interstate at night. A cassette tape of Cambodian 60′s and 70′s psychedelic rock is playing in Franny’s car as she’s finishing up a phone call on her good ol’ Nokia 5190. (Remember, this was 2002.)

[I’m Sixteen begins to play in the background during the phone call when it was on Franny’s end]

“Yes ma’am, I should be at the house in about an hour.”

[camera shows Lucille Robinson in her neighborhood finishing up a night jog] 

“Franny Framagucci, you know I told you to call me Lucille. You and your manners.”

“I can’t help it, my mama would kill me if she knew I let Lucille slip sometimes.”

 “If you marry my son you can just call me mom.”

“What d’you mean if? It’s when. It’s for sure when, we just- we want to sort a couple things out post-NYU first.”

“So you’ve talked about it?”

“Mmhm. I’m going to talk to him about it again when he’s back from Beijing. I’ll tell you everything when I get to the house. Thanks again for lettin’ me crash a couple days. I dunno, I just feel kinda melancholy about graduatin’. Didn’t wanna be at the apartment all alone for a whole week.”

“You’re family, you’re welcome anytime.”

“I know. Love yoooou, see you soon!”

She tossed her phone onto the passenger seat and turned the music up. [I’m Sixteen is now playing loudly.]  Soon, a car going the wrong way comes speeding at Franny and Franny screams shrilly above the music as she’s aware there’s no avoiding impact. The scene fades to black and a countdown clock appears on screen.

9:00:00. Nine hours, zero minutes, zero seconds before the accident. 

Franny’s dancing around their apartment in one of Neil’s shirts and her underwear listening to that same cassette of Khmer 60s and 70s music. [I’m Sixteen is playing.] She’s singing along and when Cornelius steps out of the bedroom wheeling his suitcase behind him, Franny briefly interrupts her dancing to wave at him before she grabs a handful of Swedish Fish gummies (her favorite American candy) from an open bag on the countertop and pops one into her mouth while dancing.

She dances her way over to Neil and shoves a Swedish Fish in his mouth and asks him. “Got your deodorant?” He hums an affirmative. “Backup underwear and pants in case you spill stuff on your lap thrice in one day again?” 

“Must you have so little-” he’s given pause when she shoves another fish in his mouth. “-faith in me?”

Franny grins. “My love, I have all the faith in the world...in your clumsiness.” Commence some cute kissing before Franny’s like “hey, heeeey, no getting handsy. Because then I’m going to take your clothes off and you’re going to miss your flight, and Tanya [Neil’s assistant at the time] is going to kill me.”

Scenes between several of the cast of characters happen, yadda yadda.

Eventually when the clock strikes 00:00:00, Neil’s plane from his first layover at Dallas-Fort Worth touches down at LAX at the same time of Franny’s car accident. 

The scene cuts to the wreckage of the two cars, it is out of focus and shaky with occasional flashes of clarity to show important actions. Franny’s car falling into place upside down, Franny’s neck not supporting her head anymore because she’s unconscious and her head the rolling to one side, other drivers leaping out of their cars and running to the wreck.

Cut to what can be assumed to be a couple hours later, at LAX. Neil’s still waiting on his flight to China and just chilling, humming the tune of I’m Sixteen because it was in his head from this morning. He begins to mumble an approximation of the lyrics, but he’s immediately disgusted with his lack of ability to speak Khmer. He turns to Tanya.

“Do you think I should learn Khmer?”

“Huh?”

“Khmer. I should learn it.”

“Oh, that language your girlfriend speaks? Good luck. It sounds rough. Every time she’s on the phone with her mother I think they’re fighting.”

Cornelius shook his head. “I think it’s beautiful.”

“You’d think it was beautiful if it was just high-pitched screeching because it’s to do with her.” Tanya poked affectionately.

Neil’s phone rings. Caller ID says Art, Franny’s middle brother.

[I’m Sixteen plays over the background noises of the following scenes spliced together]

Cornelius shooting out of his seat and listening with wide eyes before running to the nearest counter to find the first flight back to New York, Franny in surgery, Bud and Lucille (who were the first people Franny’s family in Georgia called to ask them to go to the hospital since they’re in New York, they’re in Georgia) scurrying out of the house, and poor Tanya looking frustrated as fuck as she realizes Cornelius is about to just throw away important investment opportunities to fly back to New York for a situation he has literally no control over.

8. Brothers and Sisters: She’s Actin’Single (I’m Drinkin’ Doubles) by Gary Stewart

Two years before Franny even met Cornelius, she was an eighteen year old high school senior and her oldest brother was Going Through Some Shit. Specifically, a breakup.

He was laying on his bedroom floor listenin’ to sad cowboy music and she was like “fuuuuuck no” so her 5′5 ass grabbed her over six foot tall big brother up off the floor and hissed “We’re going to Uncle Lemmy’s garage right the fuck now!”

In one hand was the cassette Gaston was listening to, tucked under her armpit was a bottle of Maker’s Mark she swiped from their vati’s (father’s) collection on the way out, and she had an iron grip on Gaston’s hand with her other hand.

Unlce Lemmy was a Vietnamese man actually called Tất Văn Hữu Liêm  in proper Vietnamese naming custom, but to the neighborhood kids he was Uncle Lemmy. 

“Bác Lemmy!” Franny called out in Vietnamese as she let herself in after knocking. “We need to use the garage. Gaston’s girlfriend just broke up with him.”

“Oh, dear. Do you kids need anything?”

“You wouldn’t happen to have any goi cuon laying around would you?”

“I can roll some!”

“Don’t trouble yourself, Bac Lemmy.”

“Nonsense. Gaston is in crisis!”

In Uncle Lemmy’s garage was a karaoke machine. Franny popped in the cassette of sad cowboy music and shoved the mic into Gaston’s hand. “Sing it out, you sad bastard.”

She opened the bottle of Maker’s Mark and took a swig, handing the whiskey out to Gaston, too. The songs you listen to in your sad cowboy hours? They covered them all. All My Ex’s Live In Texas. Neon Moon. Long Gone Lonesome Blues. (”Whooo, fuck that bitch!” shouted Franny at some point during Hank Williams.) Misery Loves Company. I Told You So. 

The highlight of Framagucci siblings drunk karaoke at 2:30 in the afternoon? She’s Actin’ Single.

[I've seen men look at her before And they think, I don't see] “God,” Franny slurred, very, very drunk. “How fucked is that? Fuck off, partner, that ain’t your woman.”

[I know she'll be lookin' back The minute I'm not there While she pours herself on some stranger I pour myself a drink somewhere]  “Daaaaaaamn, bitch.”

By the chorus, Franny and Gaston were just wasted scream-singing the lyrics at each other.

9. Go Ahead:  Go Ahead by Rilo Kiley 

Basically, the song the soundtrack team put over the scene where Franny took Neil’s virginity lmao. You can tell I stayed up til 6:30 am yesterday working on this task, and now it is almost 4 AM the next day and I’m still trying to finish, so I’m very much trying to stop being Extra now.

It was v soft and giggly and the most wholesome sex scene in cinema mmkay

10. That Damned Penguin Song: Papa Pingouin by Sophie & Magaly

One week when Wilbur was very small, Cornelius and Franny made the mistake of letting Franny’s Swiss Italian-French-German speaking father be the main one to watch Wilbur for a four-day period when both Franny and Neil were insanely busy. Adrien was a godsend, really. Whenever Wilbur was being fussy he would sing and dance to the 1980 absolute BOP that is Papa Pingouin.

But when Adrien Framagucci left Swynlake after his visit? 

“Muuuuummy, Daaaaaaaddy. Penguin! Sing penguin!” 

Except, neither of them knew what the actual fuck Wilbur was talking about, until Franny suddenly remembered from her childhood. When Adrien, who wasn’t her biological father, was trying to convince Franny to like him so she’d let him marry her mother, she vaguely recalled a French song relating to a penguin.

In her memory, six year old Franny had demanded Adrien do something stupid in public and he obliged by singing a French song and acting like a penguin.

Slowly, tentatively, Franny sang the first few bars

Le papa pingouin, le papa pingouin Le papa, le papa, le papa pingouin Le papa pingouin s'ennuie sur la banquise...?

“Muuuuuummy noooo, you gotta do dance! Pépère does the dance.”

Franny inhaled sharply and turned to Cornelius. “How much do you love me, dear?”

“Huh?”

“You married me. It’s not like a Wal-mart where you can just return me if you bring the receipt, yes?” “Uh...”

“I’ll explain after the little guy is satisfied.” With that she turned to Wilbur, sighed, and did Papa Pingouin with full enthusiasm. If French wasn’t Cornelius’s best second language, it was by the time Wilbur outgrew Papa Pingouin.

The penguin song was Wilbur’s favorite until he outgrew it. For years. Years. Y E A R S, Neil and Franny were in a loop of Papa Pingouin. Cornelius is now 45 and Franny is about to be 40. Papa Pingouin still haunts their dreams.

IT IS 5 AM ON DAY 2 OF WORKING ON THIS LMAO FINALLY DONE