#I like to think that Emily thought of Brahms as the little brother she never had (and really wanted)

[kurakuradon]

🤍🐰🐻🤍

[loveandmurders]

Hi! So I absolutely love and adore your sister AU fics for the Sinclair brothers and I’m just wondering if you’d ever do a similar thing with Brahms maybe? I’ve just had these thoughts about what if Brahms had a twin or younger sister who he loved because she was like his only true friend but then after what he did to Emily Cribbs, your parents had you sent away out of concern for your safety either before or after the fire. Maybe you have burn scars that aren’t as severe, or maybe you got away unscathed. But you somehow ended up coming back to the manor many years later (you’re on vacation, you get lost and/or your car breaks down, you get dared to enter the “haunted house” locals are wary of, idk) and at some point Brahms recognizes you and doesn’t want you to leave. He wants— no, he needs you to remember him. He lost you once, and he can’t let it happen again. Your parents and Greta are gone by this point, and he’s been so lonely. Of course weird ghost things happen that conveniently keep you confined to the house (The old doors get stuck and lock you in certain rooms, severe rainstorm/power goes out, idk) and other weird events make you think the place is haunted. Maybe you also have a porcelain doll in your likeness like he does and he tries to gift it to you without showing himself but it unnerves you. Maybe you find old pictures of yourself as a child but don’t recognize them as you until you read your name that’s written on the back. Just an idea, I know you probably have tons of requests to get through so no worries I just thought it could make for a very cool AU since your Sinclair AUs are so incredible and some of my favorite work 💜

Hello love and thank you for your kinds words and for this very cool idea!!!

I had a lot of fun writing for this (wrote two parts for it so far), so I hope you'll enjoy it as well <3

THE PAST HAUNTS ME - PART I (sister!reader x Brahms Heelshire)

Warnings: no proof reading, angst, nightmare/mansion burning down on Brahms, amnesia, mentions of death in a car crash, mentions of killing and violence, mentions of small past injuries and blood.

You woke up, with a strangled scream stuck in your throat, covered in sweats and madly shivering. 

You had this nightmare again. 

It felt like you couldn’t escape it since you were a child. You didn’t remember much of your past, but you perfectly remembered that, as far as your memory was going, there was this nightmare haunting you. You dreamt of a little boy who was screaming your name while a big mansion was burning down. His voice was coming from the mansion and you wanted to run in to help him out, but two adults were holding you back. You were screaming so much, you thought you were going to break your vocal cords. You were absolutely terrified and panicked and concerned, tears freely cascading down your face. You seemed to know who this little boy was. You seemed to care very much about him as well. Sometimes, you even screamed his name when you were waking up from the nightmare. 

Brahms. 

You always opened your eyes when the mansion was collapsing down on him.

You talked a lot about this dream to your adoptive parents and to the doctors you consulted as a child. You had always wondered if those images were actually coming from your past. Because of a very traumatic event, you lost your memory of when you were younger than 9 years old. It was as if your story was starting when you got adopted by your foster family. Because of your amnesia, your parents went to see a lot of doctors and therapists to make sure that you were doing alright. However, at the same time, your new family never wanted to talk about it directly with you, and they always said it was just a nightmare and that you shouldn’t worry about it too much. 

They wanted to be certain you were in good physical and mental health, without having to talk about what they knew about you. They always said that they had no idea who your real parents could be, and you had always wanted to believe them because they were good to you. They treated you well, and they dearly loved you like their own daughter.

Despite your amnesia, you were happy to have a family and you hoped that everything was going to be alright. You grew up to turn into a young woman who was often questioning herself, but who was also afraid of what could await for her if she ever found out the answers to her questions.

When your adoptive parents died in a car crash, you thought you were going to lose it. You never cried that much in your whole existence, and felt so alone. You had no idea what to do at first. You weren’t sure to be ready to carry such a burden on your shoulders and on your own.

And yet, you decided to be strong and you focused on taking care of their funeral and then of their belongings that were now yours. They had a lot of kids but you were the only one they adopted, which was a little bit strange to you. But you didn’t really think about it: you were broken. You lost your second family as well. You felt like you were cursed; it was the only explanation on why everything and everyone was always leaving you. This idea was haunting you as much as the nightmare now; you needed to stay busy to forget about it.

As you were going through their documents, you found a very odd contract. They seemed to receive a lot of money every month in exchange for adopting you and making sure you would never remember what happened. There was an address on the contract and names. Mrs and Mr Heelshire. At first, you didn’t believe this was true. So you checked their bank account, but you realised that they indeed received the money every month from the Heelshires. It would explain why your adoptive parents never wanted to talk about your past; however it didn’t explain why everyone wanted you to stay in the dark. It made you feel sick and you left the contract on a table, while you left the room, trying to digest this crazy news before doing anything about it.

And now that you woke up from your nightmare, all you could think about was finding this burnt mansion. It had to be a memory. Or at least, a part of it even if your mind might have twisted it. It had to be the traumatic event that made you forget about everything.

You needed to know the truth about who you were… About who was Brahms too because he seemed important to you. Now that you lost your adoptive family, you had the even stronger urge to find out your past. You felt ready too. You were an adult, you could handle whatever you were going to find in this mansion. You just hoped you would be able to find it and that it didn’t fully burn.

Even though it was still the middle of the night, you dressed up, took some food with you and clothes, and left. You couldn’t stand to stay around now your parents were dead, so this little adventure was more than welcomed. You started to think about the contract while you were driving. You could only assume that the Heelshires were your biological parents (otherwise, why would they know you and why would they pay for people to care for you?). You couldn’t understand why your real family would have wanted you away from them though and why they would have paid for it. Was it because you did something? Was it because of the little boy who was screaming your name in the fire? Was it because he died?

You realised how far away from where you were the address was, but it was alright. Everything was going to be alright. After a little while, you actually found yourself relaxing and your mind was quietening down.

You made some little stops on the road, sleeping in cheap motels before resuming your journey. But at some point, you finally arrived in front of the big mansion. It seemed empty and you were disappointed. It was in the middle of nowhere too, but it was so beautiful. It was the same one as in your nightmare; except that it wasn’t burning down. You thought the place had to be rebuilt after the fire, because it didn’t seem damaged at all. You wondered if the Heelshires still lived there or if they sometimes came back. You were looking at it from your car, in the middle of the road. 

A car, on the other way, came by and stopped next to you. The man lowered down his window.

“Got lost?” he asked, he seemed quite friendly. You shook your head.

“I was looking for this house. Do you know if anyone still lives here?” you asked

“No one since a while… You aren’t from here, are you?” he asked

“No indeed. Why?”

“Well there are a lot of stories about this place. Last time someone was in there, she said a man who was living in the walls tried to kill her. Cops never found anyone but there was blood and dead bodies in the entrance. The owners killed themselves too” he explained “If I was you I wouldn’t stay around or try to get inside. Some teens disappeared after some stupid dares. And even if cops can’t find shit…” he explained to you and you were positively horrified

“Thank you” you smiled “You seemed to be used of strangers wanting to get in there?” you asked, out of curiosity. He shrugged.

“Can’t explain it, but this mansion is fascinating. Can’t blame people for wanting to explore it to be honest… But it’s not safe. I don’t know how you heard about this place, but trust me, there is nothing for you in there.” he answered and plunged his eyes inside of yours. 

You thanked him again and faked leaving. You waited for the man to disappear before parking nearby the house. Even if his stories made you shiver in fear, you still needed to get inside the mansion. You didn’t know if the owners were the Heelshires or not, but you hoped they weren’t. You had so many questions to ask them. You couldn’t have done all this road for nothing. And you couldn’t be so close to knowing more about yourself and turning back now. You had to have a quick look around the mansion. You weren’t going to touch anything, you were just trying to remember. And then you were going to leave before the crazy killer ghost attacked you. It seemed like a fair plan to you. You took a little knife pocket with you, just in case though.

You discreetly found a way in the property and quickly climbed the stairs towards the entrance. You knocked at the door, just to make sure no one was home. You waited a little while before trying to open it. It was unlocked and you thanked your luck before getting inside.

“Hello?” you called out and your voice resonated in the emptiness of the place. You shivered before sneezing at all the dust flying around. It really looked like the place was deserted. “I don’t know if someone’s here, but I’m not here to rob or do anything bad… I’m just looking for my past. If it’s okay with you, I’ll have a look around and then I’ll go. So please, don’t hurt me” you said. You really thought you were insane, but maybe it would keep the killer away from you. And being polite, even to ghosts (especially to ghosts?), never hurt anyone. You could at least believe it.

You waited a little longer, trying to hear anything, before starting to have a look around when only silence answered your call.

Brahms also woke up from a nightmare the morning you arrived at the mansion. It was always the same as well: his parents were sending you away because he killed a little girl of his age, and full of rage he burnt the mansion down while screaming your name because he couldn’t stand the idea of being apart from you. You were the only thing he ever loved, and your parents were worried he would corrupt the light your eyes always used to hold. He couldn’t explain to them that he would never hurt you in any way. You were his twin sister, you were his best friend, you were his sun. And he could only burn the whole world down if you weren’t there to appease his violence.

It was what actually happened.

And he woke up with the same sadness and anger burning him even worse than the fire did. The physical pain he felt and that his skin still remembered sometimes, was nothing compared to the pain of knowing he had lost you. He missed his baby twin sister so badly. You were what he loved the most in his life. When you were both children, he couldn't stand to be away from you, even though you were of a more independent nature. He killed Emily Crabs because she liked to say things about you. She was saying you were ugly and stupid, and that Brahms deserved a better sister. She was just fooling around, trying to annoy the boy. She couldn't know his love for his sister was so strong, and that he was ready to destroy everything and everyone for her. He killed Emily and your parents understood what happened when they found him covered in blood. They found the body too after they made Brahms talk. They did their best for you to never know about this, and Brahms was eager to keep it a secret from you too. But he hadn’t thought they would decide to keep you away to protect you from him; he was your big brother, he was the one supposed to protect you. Your parents discovered how obsessive he seemed to be and they couldn’t let you be his obsession. 

They hadn’t thought he would go that insane once you would be away. And you hadn’t understood what was happening. You fainted from the panic when you saw the mansion burning down. After that, everything went dark and your parents were grateful for that. It was better that way, so you wouldn’t try to come back home.

Brahms was certain he lost you because you never came back. Since you were forced to leave his life, he could only sleep with a little porcelain doll looking like you when you were a child. Your parents always used this doll as leverage to make him obey when he was being uncontrollable once again. As he grew up and became strong, they worried it would stop working, but it was the only thing that kept him a little bit sane. And even when your parents were still alive, the doll was the only thing he talked to. He was whispering sweet little things to it, because he couldn’t do it with you anymore. He didn’t care about Greta, he just wished he would have killed her like he did with the other “nannies”. And now his parents were gone, he was left alone with his thoughts. He hated it. He hoped some stupid people would come inside the mansion, so he could lurk around before slaughtering them. It was the only thing that was making him almost happy. It was the only thing that made him forget about you, even just a few hours.

He instantly heard your voice echoing around and he quickly got up. He didn’t know who it was, but he knew he was going to play around. He was glad the devil heard his prayers. He didn’t understand what you meant about “your past” though. He wasn’t caring too much; he was just excited to have a new toy around.

He found you and he started to watch you from a hole inside the walls. He thought you were pretty and he appreciated how you truly didn’t touch anything, even if it wasn’t going to change much of your fate… He might give you a quick death if you kept being good. 

He watched you stopping in front of the family pictures laying around in the living room, and tilted his head to the side as you seemed to frown and to internally question yourself. As you leaned closer to the picture, your cardigan fell from one of your shoulders. There was a scar on it, that you did by falling off a tree as you were playing with your brother. You had fallen on a stone that cut deep into your skin. Brahms perfectly remembered how worried he had felt when it seemed like you weren’t going to stop bleeding. After this, Brahms had always kept you under his watch and more importantly he had kissed your injured skin every night before tugging you to bed. So when he saw it, he recognised it right away. He also started to recognise the way you were putting a piece of loose strand of hair behind your ear, and how you were nibbling on your lips in thoughts, and when you turned around, he clearly saw your eyes and your face. He was certain it was you. He wondered if it was all a dream. He wouldn’t survive if he realised it wasn’t reality. He needed you to be real so badly.

He understood why you were here; you were looking for your family. For him. He was so excited. You were back home. You were finally back where you should be.

And he would never let you go ever again.

PART II