#I maybe wrong but now that I've written it all my brain is quiet atleast

[cryingatships]

I was rewatching Dangerous Romance for Reasons, and there's sooo many stuff happening in the background, but this dinnertime conversation between Kanghan and his father made me think a little deeper.

Kanghan first brings up the topic of him running for the school president. His grandmother encourages him, saying how proud she'll be to have her son and grandsons be successful in their own areas.

"I could tell the whole neighborhood about it."

Very typical Asian elder talk. C'mon Asian ppl of ql tumblr, we've all heard about how the kid next door is the student representative/won an essay competition/ranked first in the exam/plays a sport in the state level/is good at singing etc etc etc right

Maybe a little very annoying (if you're not running for the school president, that is) but matches up with reality. Elders being proud of their kids' or grandkids' achievements, and more often than not pushing them to do better, to excel. You gotta do better than the other kids in academics/grades/sports/socialablity/arts etc etc

Then Kanghan's father speaks up and his words not only contrasts Kang's grandmother's (can I just call her granny from now? grandmother is too long a word) but with much of the usual way ('usual' cause I can't say every single parent/grandparent in Asia is the same) elders in Asia perceive the childrens' school life. Instead of telling Kanghan to work hard and do well, he actively *discourages* Kanghan to steer away from it.

"This kind of work is not easy, you know?"

"You don't want to do it. Trust me"

Now, I'm all for not stressing out kids. Personal experiences ahaha But this is actively restricting Kanghan from exploring and developing his interpersonal and leadership skills, which, I don't think any parent would want to do? Especially someone from the higher economic background, who would prefer their kids to be all shiny and nice. And this is also cutting off someone's chances of developing themselves, opening their wings to the world.... not the best thing a parent should do, certainly.

But it doesn't stop there. Mr. Father I forgot his name is not merely advising, or cautioning Kang. Instead, he is not leaving Kanghan with any decision to choose whether he actually wants to run or not. He's the one making Kanghan's choices, he's taking away Kanghan's agency.

His words appear to be full of care, concerned for Kang's safety. He just wants his son to enjoy his schools years fully.

"At your age, don't stress yourself out unnecessarily. Just have fun at school and hang out with your friends. Then come home to enjoy a good meal of food. Have a good night's sleep."

But, it just hits me as wrong. Idk why, maybe I'm picking too much, looking at all the wrong things and making the worst assumptions. But still, telling their children to only enjoy themselves and do nothing else... I don't feel like that's the best for their future life, not matter how much generational wealth they'll inherit. The need to show off kids is proportional to economic affluence, in my experience?? But ofc very variable

"These kind of thing suits you better. Trust me"

This line, especially. It makes it seem that Kanghan never had a choice. His father had made all the choices for his present and future based on the image of Kanghan he has created on his mind. Is his image actually true to reality? We don't know yet (it's only the 1st ep and I'm def digging too deep and pulling wild theories out of slowly-thickening-but-still-too-this air.)

Kanghan will be what his father wants him to be, what his father believes would suit him. Not so much of a caring father then, eh?

Another interesting thing is Kanghan's posture. He's tense, hunched, not meeting his father's eyes except for in quick, shifty glances. Completely different from his father's confident, smiley way of presenting himself. He's not smiling, he just listens and agrees quickly without saying a word of opposition, or bringing up his own views on the topic.

And in moments like these I wish I knew gifmaking because when these conversation is happening, Kanghan is fidgeting with the cutlery in his hand. He's nervous, stressed.

And his father, who doesn't want his son to be stressed, should atleast be able to tell how the atmosphere has turned heavy, right? but he doesn't seem t care much about stress on his son if he's the one behind the stress.

Now I'm no body language expert but these are some tell tale signs (though the context of Kang's nervousness can be due to some other history he has with his father, rather than emotional manipulation?)

"Have this, son."

And the obedient son is rewarded with a gift of affection. A show of care. Positive reinforcement. Whatever you wanna call it.

Kang tries to smile but of course he can not.

There's another thing, Grandmother, the oldest one at the table, who ought to have enough authority in the household to counter Mr Father, if not more (cause seniority, filial piety and all that), does not oppose him. Though she is not happy with the decision, and she also wants to see her grandson shine and smile.

Then we cut to the scene of Pimfah hope I'm not mistaking names again and Kanghan in the garden. Here, Kanghan seems fine, he's smiling, but he seems to have a dangerous (sadistic?but not in the fun way. also half title drop yay!) streak to him.

The whole dog discussion shivering and hugging my cats protectively.

"My father told me, if you want to tame a dog, don't be afraid to punish it to let it learn."

At first I thought he's just being his privileged rich oppress the poor talk that he's socialised into for being born into wealth.

But after thinking this way, could it be that the one getting punished and tamed, is actually Kanghan himself? With the way his father treats him, denial followed by care, and the way Kanghan does not even try to disobey his father's words... hmmm....

"They say if you hit a dog too much, it can become aggressive."

Being abused as a child lead to higher chances of the child turning abusive, a bully themselves in later life.

That said, whatever one faces in childhood or any other walks of life is NO excuse for further harming another person. Lots of abuse victims become activists, volunteers, or research into abuse prevention and participate in policy making, too.

But anyway, *if* abuse of truly happening in the father-son relationship, can we hope that Kanghan directs any resultant aggressiveness towards his father at the end of the show? Cause idk if a man of such power and wealth can be held accountable to the law... We didn't get this with Vegas but can I hope?

That said, the following dialogues has weakened my line of thought.

But then again media is always perceived differently by different people based on their socialisation and experiences so...

SO anyway, that's some of the scattered thoughts I had! This is probably not a correct observation (my guesses are never right, I'm not lucky at cards ueueue), and ep 2 will prove it wrong in a few hours. Can't say I'm not looking forward to that ehehe~ What consequences will Sailom face for his daring? Will the teacher get punched? Will Kanghan get beaten? (hopefully by Sailom or his friends and not by his father) Will Nawa get slapped? (Guy looks like he packs a mean slap, and Marc Pahun looks pretty af when he's miffed u.u) Will Pimfah have cute girlie? (I CAN HOPE), will we get to see Sailom's elder brother?

ALSO, since we have yet another politician and his rich, spoilt on the exterior son airing on Saturdays, my views have certainly been influenced, too. There are too many similarities (except Kanghan actually still has a mother figure?), so high chances I'm unconsciously projecting Senator Thattep and Tanthai's relationship on Kanghan and his father's. Maybe all they have is some coldness, or historym or issues regarding Kanghan's mother? The possibilities are not endless, but there's a lot u.u